Would You Rather IV: Would You Dan Rather?

Tara: [0:12] Could hop to work so would i i'd have a bionic leg but it'd be for kicking. Dave: [0:22] This is the extra hot great podcast episode 596 for the week of january 5th In 2026. I am paper and plastic, David T. Cole, and I'm here with Pepsi truther, Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah: [0:41] Actually, it's not okay. Dave: [0:43] And pro con list, Tara Ariano. Tara: [0:46] Ultimately, it's just about math. welcome to extra hot great for another week we are thrilled to have you here for our latest would you rather wrath of con i don't know i didn't come up with a title for it this time would. Dave: [1:10] You dan rather. Tara: [1:11] There you go we had so much fun doing would you rathers last time When we did it last spring, we decided to bring it back for our final pre-tape episode of this break. We will be back next week with The Pit. But for now, we have a bunch of questions from our friends, past and future guests, and listeners just like you. Shall we get started? Is everybody ready? Dave: [1:34] Let's check with the extra hot Great Hawk. Yes. Tara: [1:39] Okay. Just a general kind of weird one to lead us off. Let's hear clip one. Hello, friends. This is Andy Dennert of Reality Blurred. The Discovery Channel has a, would you rather be naked all the time or afraid all the time? Thank you, Andy. Sarah, why don't you start us off? Naked all the time, afraid all the time. Sarah: [2:13] I feel like I am kind of afraid all the time anyway, and I have strategies to cope with that. Naked, I don't. Dave: [2:20] It's a human condition. Sarah: [2:21] Really? So I'm going to go with afraid all the time because I like clothes. So, yeah, that's my answer. Dave: [2:32] What if you want to save money and economize? Tara: [2:35] Well, what is your choice? Dave: [2:36] You wouldn't have to buy clothes. Is Naked and Afraid the one that's sort of like Survivor, except they're just left on an island and they're naked and afraid? Tara: [2:43] Uh-huh. Dave: [2:44] Okay, is that show? Tara: [2:45] Yeah. Dave: [2:45] I think that I, I mean, I'd rather be afraid. There's no way I want to be naked on TV. Even if it is all pixelated and blurred. Tara: [2:53] Oh, he didn't say on TV. He said all the time. Dave: [2:55] Oh, I assume part of this was TV. Tara: [2:57] No. He's just inspired by the show Naked and Afraid. Dave: [3:01] Okay. Well, then it's even more so just afraid because I got stuff to do. Tara: [3:06] Yeah. Dave: [3:06] I think they're going to serve me at the coffee shop and I'm like, hanging dong, asking for an Americano. Tara: [3:12] I mean, at that coffee hut, they probably would. They'd probably be pretty chill with it. They'd be like... Dave: [3:16] Because you don't need a stir stick, sir. Tara: [3:17] I'll say. Here's a guy who's keeping... Sarah: [3:20] He's keeping us in weird. Tara: [3:21] There you go. I was just about to say, he's keeping us in weird all by himself. Yeah, if there was an extra thing where it's like you can be naked all the time and never afraid or afraid all the time and never naked, I mean, that would be a different choice. But if it's just one or the other, yeah, afraid all the time. Because if you're naked all the time, you're going to be afraid of getting arrested anyway. Sarah: [3:39] Or sunburned nipples. Tara: [3:41] Or that. Dave: [3:41] Point of clarification. If I'm afraid all the time, I can get naked for showers, right? Tara: [3:46] Well, yes. That's what I'm saying. He didn't say that. Dave: [3:48] Yeah. Tara: [3:49] He didn't say you could never be one of the other. Sarah: [3:50] He also did not rule out that if you are afraid all the time, you are never going to be naked. Yes. Or that if you're naked all the time, you're never going to be afraid. Tara: [3:57] Right. Right. Sarah: [3:58] One did not exclude the other. So, yeah. Tara: [4:02] Well. Sarah: [4:02] Nothing but fear. Dave: [4:03] I could probably figure out how to take a shower with my clothes on, get the soap bar underneath my shirt. Tara: [4:07] Get the pits. Yeah. Dave: [4:08] Then I'd have to wait for everything to dry before I go out. All right. Move back to this question. Tara: [4:13] Okay. The next one is just for Sarah D. Bunting. It is from our friend Carrie. Sarah, would you rather watch all your basketball games with. Sarah: [4:23] Only Bill Walton announcing, RIP, or watch all your baseball games with. Dave: [4:30] Only John Kruk announcing? Oh, yeah. Sarah: [4:34] God. I choose death. You can't. Oh, man. I know. I know I can't. I used to really hate Bill Walton's announcing, and then it grew on me. I'm not a Phillies guy, but occasionally I listen to that broadcast just for Kroki because he is hilarious. So as much as I miss Bill Walton intoning about the Conference of Champions, A, they gutted that conference, B, Bill Walton is no longer on this side of the veil, and C, Kroki rules. So John Krook, but that was a real poser for a second. Thank you. Dave: [5:06] I just need to rewind a second for the last question's conundrum of can you take a shower if you're always afraid? Can you get naked to take a shower? Tara: [5:14] Like, are you afraid of getting in the shower? Dave: [5:16] Yes. That scenario is called would you lather? Tara: [5:20] That's pretty good. All right. The next one is from Nick Reinwell-Jones, and this kicks off a whole bunch of sort of linked questions all in a row. But this one is just for me, so let's hear it. Tara. You have access to a time machine, but it's frustratingly limited and comes. Sarah: [5:48] Messing's life coach and somehow preemptively dissuade her from every bad choice she's going to make over the next three decades. Destination two is the year 2009, and you get one of those anonymous TV executive jobs where nobody really, you have to take on the mission of keeping the peace between Juliana Margulies and Archie Punjabi on The Good Wife so they're actually able to film their scenes in the same room. Tara: [6:11] What is your choice? Oh my god. Sarah: [6:15] That's diabolical. Tara: [6:16] Just a spoiler for the questions to come. Debra Messing was on a lot of people's minds because if you've been following the news, she lost her mind this year. She was not down with the Zoran Mamdani candidacy in New York and. Tara: [6:30] Really expressed that in the most antisocial slash extremely racist way. So, you know, everyone knowing that I was ahead of the curve on hating Debra Messing informed a lot of these queries this year. So just so everyone knows. Okay, so my choice is to go back in time and steer Debra Messing away from acting versus keeping the peace between Julianna Margulies and Archie Panjabi in 2009. I mean, I don't think I have the strength to be around Debra Messing, even in 1992 before she was what she would become. I just think I would not be an effective life coach for her because as you both know, I have no poker face. I cannot hide it when I feel contempt for someone. She would know and she would not take my advice. In fact, she would fire me. Whereas someone had the capacity to keep the peace between Juliana Margulies and Archie Panjabi enough that they were like continue to be on the show for a while before it all really fell apart. I think they are both barely professional enough to have, you know, pulled it off as long as they did. But more importantly, if this was my job, I would find out what the issue is between them. And I need to know you. I'm like, I'm a gossip hound. I would love to have been subject to all of those fights and bring that knowledge back to the future. Sarah: [7:53] This is the fucking second gunman question of television. Tara: [7:58] Truly 100% good wife. Dave: [8:01] This is Tara. Yum, yum, yum. Feed me that garbage. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Tara: [8:05] Exactly. Feed it to me. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. All right. Let's hear Joe Reed, our dear friend, sent us several different ones. So let's hear the first of those next. Hi, ExtraHawk Reed. It's your friend and Vulture Awards nerd Joe Reed here with, by Aaron Sorkin? Dave, you set up the past couple. Why don't you start? Dave: [8:56] I find Debra Messing generally annoying. I don't have that hate of a white hot thousand suns that Tara can have on occasion for that. You come by it, honestly, frankly. I'm not judging you for that. I love a good train wreck. And I think the Luigi Aaron Sorkin movie sounds like an absolute shit show. And I would love to hear people that were really into the West Wing and don't really quite know why. And they'd really be into this. And I think they would come to a reckoning about exactly how Aaron Sorkin writes and what his worldview is. Tara: [9:28] Yes. Dave: [9:28] And I think that would be fun to see play out on social media. Wait, is this me? I guess it is. So I'm going to go with Sorkin on Luigi. Tara: [9:38] Okay. I love that. Sarah. Sarah: [9:40] Absolutely, Sorkin on Luigi, because I would have to watch that anyway for the other part of my work life. Absolutely a sort of misbegotten project like that is the most fun to think about and review. Deborah Messing is the least fun, period. Dave: [9:58] Before Tara gives her judgment, I just want to put in this possible sub-scenario. If Deborah Messing is the judge, it's possible she's taking over for Randy Jackson and has to assume his mannerisms and his catchphrases. She has to say dog a lot. Tara: [10:15] He was not actually a judge on that show. He just presented it. Dave: [10:19] It's right in the title, Dave. Tara: [10:20] Yeah, I agree with both of you. I think an Aaron Sorkin take on Luigi Mangione, whatever happens with a child, is just going to be too delicious to resist. At this point in our timeline, we're recording this on November 24th, the Bradley Cooper-directed Will Arnett starring Is This Thing On about Will Arnett being a divorced guy in his 50s trying stand-up comedy has not come out yet, but I've already pledged to see it, like, every day. Because I have Alamo Pass and I can. I can't wait for that train wreck. I can't wait to hate watch it, like, every, as much as I can on our break. Sarah: [10:57] Oh, la bomba. Tara: [10:57] And the Luigi slash Sorkin, I would, hey, watch that too with relish. Absolutely. Luigi. Let's hear from Bobby Grutt. Hi. Dave: [11:09] Would you rather get to eat at Sweet Tomatoes anytime you wanted. Sarah: [11:13] But you have to share the meal with Debra Messing? Or would you rather get a root canal. Tara: [11:19] But it's with Timothy Oliphant? And please feel free to use his proper. Dave: [11:24] Name when discussing. Wow. Tara: [11:27] Thank you, Bobby. Dave: [11:28] Let's just hear that hello again, shall we? Tara: [11:30] Hi. Sarah: [11:32] Hi. Dave: [11:33] Is that sexy or did he just get up? I'm not sure. Tara: [11:35] Hi. Why not both? Sarah: [11:37] Could be both. Tara: [11:38] Boy. Sarah, why don't you go first on this one? Sarah: [11:41] Oh, gosh. Tara: [11:42] And remember, you've been to Soup Plantation, which is the same as Sweet Tomatoes. We brought you there in Los Angeles. We have experienced the joy of this franchise. Dave: [11:49] And Debra Messing standing right behind you. Tara: [11:52] Yeah. Sarah: [11:53] Scrank, scrank, scrank. I mean, that's a tough one. I don't have the long association with this dining establishment. that Tara and Dave do, but I have had a root canal in the last couple of years and the technology has really improved. The time is less and it's Timothy Olyphant and not Debra Messing. So just the one root canal and I can heat up some soup. So root canal. Tara: [12:24] Boy. Sarah: [12:25] Sorry, y'all. Good luck, guys. Tara: [12:27] Okay, I'll go next. Defying what anyone would probably predict, I'm going to sweet tomatoes with Debra Messing. And the reason is I don't need Timothy Oliphant to see me while I'm having dental work done on me. That's not my cutest. I'm going to be drooling. I'm going to be probably wincing. Dave: [12:47] You'll be high. Tara: [12:48] I'll be high. Dave: [12:49] You just try not to fall in love with me, not with your pants. Tara: [12:53] None of that is how I want him to experience me. Dave: [12:58] Put your boots on and get in that fucking tub. Tara: [13:03] So I'm going to suck it up. I'm going to be as fake as I possibly can. I'm going to pretend I'm getting a whole lot of texts while I'm eating my salad with Debra Messing and just try to avoid conversing with her as much as I possibly can. Dave? Dave: [13:18] Yeah, you don't have to converse with her. That's not part of it. You can tell her to fuck off every moment of your lunch. Tara: [13:24] That's fine. Dave: [13:24] The problem is, will other people see you constantly with Debra Messing and assume that you're her pal now and start wondering where your values are? Are you a hypocrite? Tara: [13:34] Right. Dave: [13:35] Me personally? Absolutely. If that means I can eat a soup, a fucking sweet tomatoes all the time, I'm fine with Debra Messing. That is a price I'm willing to pay. Tara: [13:44] Yeah. Dave: [13:44] I've already had a root canal once. I have a lot of problems with them never using enough painkiller juice. Tara: [13:51] Right. That's what it's called. Dave: [13:52] All the time. I'm like, I don't know if you hear this a lot, but I need twice to three times as much of whatever you think I need. And I know right now you're thinking to yourself, no, he doesn't. But I'm going to tell you what's going to happen is I'm not going to be able to convince you. You're going to give me one dose. I'm going to feel it and yell and cry. You give me a second dose and it's still not going to be enough. And they're going to need a third dose. They're like, OK, well, let's just see how it goes. And it goes exactly how I just said. Every fucking time, including the time I had shoulder surgery and when I had knee surgery, they didn't believe me. So I don't want to do that again. So I'm going to Sweet Tomatoes. I'm going to have all the salad and I'm going to feel good. Tara: [14:31] Next up. Hello, Extra Hot Great. It's your friend Eve Beatty here with a Would You Rather. My, Yes, that's a show. With electrodes attached to your brain that zap you every time you think about Gwen Stefani. I look forward to your response. Dave: [14:59] Thank you so much for allowing me to participate. Sorry, can you review the second part of that again, please? Tara: [15:04] You're having dinner with Gavin Rossdale. That's a show. he's the lead singer of bush and the ex-husband of gwen stefani oh okay so that's why there are electrodes attached to your brain that will zap you and so to explain to sarah who did not make it to at the end of season three of white lotus what happens is saxon makes a smoothie that has been previously used to grind up poison fruit and so he has a smoothie because he's a privileged kid that doesn't know how to wash a dish and doesn't and then he poisons himself but not Fatally, he does live. Dave: [15:35] So is the question, would you want poison or electrodes, basically? Sarah: [15:39] Non-lethal poison or brain zapping. Tara: [15:42] Yes. Dave: [15:42] All right. Tara: [15:43] Dave. Dave: [15:44] In the brain, because I'm just not familiar with this whole second part of it. There's a show. Tara: [15:48] I don't think there's anything to be familiar with. Dave: [15:49] But wait, is this a show? Tara: [15:51] She says it's a show. I guess it's a show. Dave: [15:54] Okay. Ex-husband of Gwen Stefani. Tara: [15:56] Yes. Dave: [15:57] And you are in this show. And you have to not think about his ex-wife or you'll get shocked. Tara: [16:03] Correct. Correct. Dave: [16:04] And that's probably once a week. Let's just assume it's once a week. Tara: [16:08] It's a weekly show. Both of them could only be once. Dave: [16:10] Right. Sarah: [16:11] I mean, one of them is definitely only going to be once because you're going to be in the fucking hospital. Tara: [16:15] Right. All right. Well, Dave is pondering that. I'm going to say I'll have the Ratliff smoothie under protest. I've had very bad food poisoning before, and I know I can survive, but I would never stop thinking about Gwen Stefani at dinner with Gavin Rossdale because I don't know one other thing about him other than he was the lead singer of Bush and he was married to Gwen Stefani and she is so much more famous. She is all I would think about. So I would end up with a smoking brain at the end of it. So it's going to have to be the smoothie for me. Dave: [16:47] Yeah, I guess. I mean, I guess if you had a smoothie and you just had explosive diarrhea for three days, that's probably going to have less long-term effects than zapping your brain constantly. Tara: [16:58] And you drop a few. Dave: [17:01] Pounds? Tara: [17:02] Yes. Dave: [17:02] Oh, okay. Tara: [17:04] What else? Dave: [17:06] Well, you know, we're talking about diarrhea. Tara: [17:07] Okay, yeah. Well, I mean both. Dave: [17:09] Hey, pounds of diarrhea. Tara: [17:10] Frankly. Dave: [17:12] Sarah. Sarah: [17:13] As someone with a food sensitivity, Rossdale, 100%. I'd rather be zapped into lobotomized oblivion than knowingly take on food poisoning. Sorry. Tara: [17:26] All right. Split decision there. Let's hear from our friend Andrea Centoro-Monigle. Would you rather have a successful appendectomy performed by the staff of the bear or delicious but ultimately food-poison-laden meal prepared by the crew from Dr. Odyssey? As a side note. Sarah: [17:49] See previous. Tara: [17:51] Yeah, we can go to Sarah first, but just so you know, there's a scene in one of the episodes of Dr. Odyssey where the three principals, Joshua Jackson and then the two others that are in the love triangle with him, are in a hot tub and someone brings them a huge platter of food that's like fruit and sushi and a bunch of other things that just floats on the top of the hot tub water on the ship. So that's probably where people are getting the food poisoning. But as you said, you have already sort of given a blanket answer to this. Sarah: [18:19] You know, I feel like knife work is something that the team on the bear could do as long as like Neil Fack isn't necessarily in charge. But I mean, I guess he's sort of okay. Tara: [18:31] Yeah. Sarah: [18:32] Be there for moral support probably only. Tara: [18:35] Yeah. Sarah: [18:35] So yeah. Appendectomy. Thank you. Dave: [18:38] What if John Cena just comes in and just puts his whole arm, just pulls out. Done. Stitcher up. Sarah: [18:45] She said it was successful. So fine. Whatever it takes. Tara: [18:49] I think as long as if Sidney and cousin are Richie, if they are in charge, I trust them to be able to watch a YouTube video and absorb enough to be able to follow directions. Sarah: [19:01] Yep. Tara: [19:02] Dave. Sarah: [19:03] Same. Dave: [19:03] I wouldn't want to be on a cruise boat for any reason. Tara: [19:06] Yeah. Dave: [19:07] And I feel like the second scenario means I have to be on the Odyssey. Tara: [19:11] Probably. Dave: [19:12] So I don't really want that. That meal aside. Or frankly, if it was just like a regular meal, a good meal, something I like, I wouldn't want to have to spend two weeks on a cruise to fulfill that scenario. Tara: [19:21] Yeah. Sarah: [19:21] And I'm not going anywhere near hot tub either. Dave: [19:24] The bear is doing surgery. I seem to remember Carmi having a scene where he's got to like do something really delicate with thread and quails or something like that. Tara: [19:32] Maybe. Sarah: [19:33] You could have his girlfriend talk him through it, too, right? Tara: [19:35] That's true. Sarah: [19:35] She's an ER doc. Dave: [19:36] I think it was the interminable third season, and the guy from French Kitchen is like, this is how you tie a chicken, like, roast them or something. Tara: [19:45] Yeah, I was roasting a chicken, yeah. Dave: [19:46] So, you know, he has experience with needle and thread, because that's how they were doing it. So I feel like they could sew me up, so I wouldn't get sepsis after. So that's one thing. So I guess I'm going to go with the bear doing surgery. Tara: [20:00] Congrats to the bear. It's a new sideline. Open another window beside the sandwich window. Sarah: [20:06] Urgent care. Tara: [20:08] Yep. This is from a listener, Jennifer Jennings. Let's hear clip eight. Hi, this is Jen. Big fan of Extra Hot Great and again with this. So, Jackson as the only human. Everyone else are Muppets, including his threesome buddies, which could get pretty strange. Bonus question. Would Miss Piggy play Dawson Leary? Sarah, we have to go to you first. Sarah: [20:50] Sam Diego plays Dawson Leary. That's who he looks like. Tara: [20:53] Absolutely. Sarah: [20:54] Yeah, there's something about like Muppet, like a Mupple, a Muthrupple that makes me extremely uncomfortable. So I'm going to go with the first one. Dawson's Pacey is the only human. Often he is written as the only human on screen. So I think this will not be too big of a problem for him. As noted, Sam the Eagle is Dawson. Tara: [21:18] Yeah, I think Miss Piggy is Audrey for sure. Sarah: [21:22] Or Abby. Abby. Tara: [21:24] Yeah. Sarah: [21:24] Mm-hmm. Abby Morgan. Tara: [21:26] Or Drew Valentine. Sarah: [21:27] R.I.P. Or Drew Valentine. Tara: [21:30] They're all on a continuum. Or Mrs. Sarah: [21:31] Valentine. Tara: [21:32] Oh, yeah. True. I'm going to say Muppet Dawson's Creek 2 for the same reason. I don't need to see Georgia Jackson having a puppet threesome. That's upsetting to me. Sarah: [21:42] Yeah, that's stupid. Oh, no. Tara: [21:45] The only drawback for Muppet Dawson's Creek is that it's the same drawback that you often have with Muppets anything, which is there just are not a lot of female characters and there certainly are a lot on Dawson's Creek. But, you know, if you could have Dr. Teeth in drag playing. Sarah: [22:00] I don't even know. Tara: [22:02] Someone. Sarah: [22:02] Get some other chickens going, speaking parts. Yep. Tara: [22:06] Yeah, I think that would be fun. And if Jen does not know this, Joshua Jackson actually is in a Muppet movie. He and Katie Holmes both play basically their Dawson's Creek characters in Muppets from Space in cameos. So look out for that if that's something you're into. Dave. Dave: [22:22] Uh, I think I want the Muppet version of Dr. Odyssey. I mean, yeah, the sex scene would be weird and disturbing, but we would have it for the cultural record. Tara: [22:32] True. Dave: [22:33] It's certainly more interesting than, you know, any particular Dawson's Creek scene we're going to get with all these Muppets and Joshua Jackson. But also think about some of the stuff that happened on the Odyssey. Like, what if it was the pod of orcas chasing the Odyssey for two episodes. Tara: [22:49] And all those orcas therefore have to be muppets yes or the show yeah yeah that would be cute. Dave: [22:56] So there's a lot of things that you can muppetize in odyssey that would be interesting. Tara: [23:02] Yes so. Dave: [23:03] I think i would go for that one because i think you just have more fun. Tara: [23:05] With it good point plus. Sarah: [23:08] I respect that. Tara: [23:11] The next one is for sarah it's from our friend danny let's hear clip nine hi this is danny mccathrin first time long time my would you rather is for sarah sarah. Sarah: [23:22] Would you rather continue to be unpleasantly surprised by vomiting scenes on television or be given the opportunity in january to watch a supercut of all the vomiting scenes for the upcoming year. Tara: [23:35] Scene appears in the normal course of an episode you will instead see the character grinning and giving a thumbs up this will not seem odd to you you will understand the context but it will seem pleasant in either scenario you may not turn away. Sarah: [23:52] Character is about to chunder, you will have to watch it. Thanks. I'll take my answer off the air. Tara: [23:58] Well, take it on the air. She's going to give it right now. Sarah: [24:01] He means he's off the air. Tara: [24:02] I see. Sarah: [24:03] I watch a super cut of the chundering, but if I'm just going to watch the regular barfing scenes in line, I can't turn away from them no matter what. Tara: [24:13] Correct. Yes. Dave: [24:14] In either scenario. Sarah: [24:15] Okay. I mean, like there was even barfing in fucking Jingle Bell Heist. You didn't really see it. It was like very pantomimed, but like, you know, there's always barfing. So I feel like that super cut would really be super in size and the opposite of super in experience. But I also feel like long about February, like if I've endured the super cut, like after the fourth or fifth time that a character who is hung over, but instead just turns to the camera and is like, hey, thumbs up. that I'll be like, oh my God, best fucking decision I ever made. I invested in me. So I'm going to go super cut and just hope that it's not like two and a half hours of just like cream of mushroom horror. Talk about losing a few pounds. Woo. Tara: [25:06] Yeah. I think that's a good choice. Sarah: [25:08] I mean, would you do the same? I know you're not as... Dave: [25:10] I enjoy thinking about the scenario where for the rest of your life, you now associate barving with people smiling. Tara: [25:17] No Sarah: [25:18] And giving a thumbs up yeah right. Tara: [25:20] Yeah good. Dave: [25:21] To see you sarah oh god. Tara: [25:23] I i mean i watched bar fight i'm not really that bothered by it so i you know i'm not bothered. Sarah: [25:27] By it anymore because it's. Tara: [25:29] Everywhere it really is inescapable he's not kidding all right i think the next one is probably one sarah will have may have to sit out just from lack of direct experience but we'll we'll find out let's hear clip 10, Hi, it's David Weep, self-proclaimed longtime friend of the show. My, show? Or Hutch Mansell, Bob Odenkirk's character from The Nobody-verse? For those who don't know, Nobody is a movie. It just had a sequel earlier this year, and it's one of those where an unlikely person is a secret, extremely skilled assassin for the mob, blah, blah, blah. lot. And that's basically the deal with Bob Odenkirk's character, Hutch Mansell. Dave, what are your thoughts? Dave: [26:17] I don't think Tim Robinson can hurt me. I mean, I feel like the only real difference I can see here is one, I'll be very annoyed and possibly out of pocket if I ever come into an accident with Tim Robinson. And if I'm getting into an accident with nobody, I could die. He could just kill me. That's the whole shtick. He seems like an everyday guy, but then, you know, the shit hits the fan and he becomes super soldier. Tara: [26:41] Yeah. Dave: [26:42] So, I mean, I feel like just self-preservation-wise, it's got to be Tim Robinson. But also, I think, like, some weird, dumb shit could happen. Like, you imagine if this question was, before we all saw it, would you rather be behind Tim Robinson at a drive-in or the guy from Nobody or the... Well, what could possibly happen? Then suddenly it's 55 burgers, 55 fries. I feel like the element of surprise could be entertaining bonus to not dying. Tara: [27:05] Yeah, I agree. I think rear ending or getting rear ended by a Tim Robinson character from, you know, that or the chair company or friendship or Detroiters. It's going to be a good story that I will be able to tell later about the weirdest guy I could have possibly met who I just got in a car accident with. Dave: [27:25] I imagine he is the character from the parking lot. Tara: [27:27] Yes. He's crying. No, I've never done this before. Yes. Versus the Bob Odenkirk character who, like you said, is, you know, if I'm the one at fault, I may not leave that scenario. That might be the end for me. Dave: [27:41] Yeah. The only positive I could think with nobody is somehow this is a bonding experience. Like it was really nobody's fault. And you sort of go the go for beers friendship starts right after that. Tara: [27:50] Nobody's fault. No pun intended. Dave: [27:52] Yeah. And he becomes sort of your friend protector. And then when you get in trouble, people start disappearing and you don't have to do anything about it. Tara: [27:59] Well, that was not included. Sarah, thoughts on this having, I assume, not seen nobody? Sarah: [28:04] I have not seen it, but I'm familiar with the premise. And I just think that there's too many variables vis-a-vis if this is going to activate him and if you are going to be the object of the activation. Tara: [28:18] Yeah. Sarah: [28:18] So it's like almost guaranteed, headacheily, screamy, and annoying. versus possibly that friend that you made on jury duty that you still talk to two years later, or you're dead. So Tim Robinson, I think. Tara: [28:34] We have a text question from Will Hines. I will read it. Our options are one. Shot for shot remake of I think you should leave all seasons with an AI generated Gilbert Gottfried doing all parts or to a final season of severance in which everything ties up perfectly and is satisfying. But while you're watching, there's a giant spider crawling around you. The spider never touches you, but it makes noises. There was a PS in a separate email. More info on the spider. When I say giant, I mean the size of a loaf of bread. When I say it never touches you, it just wanders around you, never getting closer than one foot, but never getting further away than six feet. This is very complex thinking here. I feel like we should go to Sarah first, our biggest spider hater. Sarah: [29:27] Yeah, I am not a fan. But that is a spider the size of a cat. But I'm also not a severance watcher, and I get the impression from Tara's comments that I would be exhausted by it. So Gilbert Gottfried does exist on a literal amplitude that is unpleasant for some people in the way that South Park is unpleasant for me. But, you know, and I think you should leave is a lot of yelling. But I don't find Gilbert Gottfried that bothersome. Actually, he's one of those people that I interviewed when I was at Yahoo TV that, like, it wound up being a really fun, instructive interview. And it was for wife swap of all fucking things. Yeah, he was a delight, a real mensch and generous with his time. I mean, the spider thing is like... I would just be afraid that something would fall on it and squish it, and then I would have to throw my entire house in the garbage, and I just don't care that much about severance. So I'm going to go. I think you should Godfraid. Tara: [30:33] Okay. Sarah: [30:34] Dave. Dave: [30:34] The idea that something so horrific as a loaf of bread size spider, but your safety is absolutely guaranteed and you will not be touched by the spider. It just physically cannot happen. I'm intrigued. Tara: [30:50] Yeah. Dave: [30:52] Like what happens if I want to pet it though? What if it like we bond and now it's like Spidey pals, but I can't touch anymore and I'm sad. Tara: [30:58] What happens if it like tries to have a test with the dogs? That would be cute. Sarah: [31:03] What if it purrs? Tara: [31:05] What if it purrs? Sarah: [31:06] What if it has like a little bow? Dave: [31:07] Can it spin webs in my house? Tara: [31:09] Mm-hmm. Sarah: [31:10] Yeah. Dave: [31:11] Because a spider that big, suddenly all your house is all spider web. Ooh, yeah. Sarah: [31:16] You make interesting points, Dave. Dave: [31:18] The Gilbert-Godfrey thing is something that can and probably will happen in our lifetime. Tara: [31:23] So depressing, but yeah. Sarah: [31:24] God help us. Dave: [31:25] So... Sarah: [31:26] And he will also have eight legs. Dave: [31:28] So I'm going to go with the severance thing for the spider experience. I think Will Hines probably thought that the spider thing would be deterrent. Tara: [31:38] Right. Dave: [31:39] But I'm actually going the other way. This is a, it's like going to Rooster Kohlberg's petting zoo outside of Tucson, Arizona. So it's like everything there wants to bite and nibble your face, but it's fun. Tara: [31:51] Yeah. Dave: [31:51] And at least with the spider, you know that is not going to bite your nose off like those fucking ostriches wanted to. Tara: [31:57] They definitely do. Dave: [31:58] So I'm going to go with Severance Spider. Tara: [32:00] Yeah, I'm going to go with Severance 2 just because any kind of AI remake of I Think You Should Leave fills my heart with dread and horror and despondency, honestly. And if Severance completely ties everything up perfectly and is satisfying, that would be a wonderful outcome. Tom, I would love to be wrong about severance. I don't think this is going to happen, but in this scenario, it does. And everyone else but me can be very happy about it. And yeah, like Dave said, if the spider is never going to get close enough to you to harm you, at a certain point, you're going to just either be a friend of the spider or you will stop noticing it's even there. Dave: [32:43] Another thought. It's never closer than one foot, but never further away than six feet. So basically what you have is a living spider video game familiar character that will follow you wherever you go. So if I go to the coffee hut, I've got a spider guy following one, two, six feet behind me. Tara: [33:02] Sure. Dave: [33:02] If I'm getting in trouble, you know, that spider can touch other people. Sarah: [33:06] But you have to be watching the show. Tara: [33:09] You should be watching it on his phone. Sarah: [33:10] Oh, all right. Tara: [33:11] Clip 11, we're back with Carrie, and this time she's got a question for Dave. Hello, friends. This is Pizza Carrie with some would-you-rather scenarios. Dave: [33:36] Renovations? Jason Manzoukas or Rod Gilbert? Absolutely, Rod Gilbert. Jason Manzoukas would just bring chaos to an already chaotic situation. That flood was no fucking joke. There was so much water in our property, in and on and around our property. It was like living in a castle moat. And I just don't think he would help at all. And Rob Gilbert displayed organizational skills in his season of Taskmaster, getting all the photos of Greg Davies. and making products out of them and showing the lounging underwear photo every episode. So I don't think he is a guru when it comes to like home improvement or like compares very well to what Jason Manzoukas would bring to the table, which is making things worse, I think. Tara: [34:32] Well, also in his season, Rod Gilbert had to do a team task that was make an addition on the Taskmaster house. And he like split off from his team and just started doing his own thing, like found the garage, which I think before that we didn't even know was part of the house and found a whole bunch of stuff in it and like just started building his own thing without drawing over his teammates, Phil and James. So yeah, I think it's more than that he has organizational skills. I think he might actually have some construction skills. So yeah, I think your choice is definitely correct. Dave: [35:04] I'd rather hang with Jason Manzoukas, but that's not the question. Tara: [35:07] Yeah. The next one is from our friend Omar and it is for us all. Hello, Extra Hot Grape. It's Omar G. My would you rather is who, Westworld? Which of these guests would you most enjoy having over for the holidays? Sarah. Sarah. Sarah: [35:39] Hmm. I'm not really familiar with the last bot. Tara: [35:43] That's the Evan Rachel Wood character from Westworld. Her character is she's like a frontier girl. Sarah: [35:50] Okay. Tara: [35:51] We meet her dad. Like all of the Westworld robots, has the capacity to kill. Sarah: [35:56] Okay. If I recall correctly, Murderbot is kind of motivated to at least see what makes humans tick. The robot dogs from Metalhead, no. They're just going to create mayhem among the biological animals in the house, and I don't fucking need it. So I'm going to go with Dolores because I think she will have, especially over the holidays, slightly more pertinent programming in terms of things that need to be done around the house, hospitality wise. And I think she would be a slightly more relaxing hang, even though she's not played by a scars guard. So that is my answer. Dolores. Tara: [36:37] Dave. Dave: [36:38] Easy one for me. It's got to be sec unit because he is basically wants to be left alone over the holidays. He is an introvert. His communications with other people, with humans, is bare minimum. Just the fax man in and out. And then he's back to his power station or his lonely little cubicle room or whatever. And that's his speed. And frankly, if I have a guest that's staying over the holidays at my house, I want the most invisible one. Sarah: [37:07] You want them in the charger? Dave: [37:09] And then if that spider goes rogue, he can handle that. Sarah: [37:13] That's true. Mm-hmm. Excellent point. Tara: [37:16] And, you know, they know each other because they're both on Apple TV. Yeah, it's definitely not the dog. I'm going to say no to Dolores, too, because I don't think we'll have that much to talk about. Whereas me and Murderbot both love TV. Dave: [37:28] Murder. Oh. Sarah: [37:30] That's true. Tara: [37:30] We both love murder. And we both love our soaps. That's true. So I think we would relate on that level. Sarah: [37:36] That is a good point. Dave: [37:38] Not only do you both love TV, he has almost all the TV. Tara: [37:41] Yes. Dave: [37:41] That's like 80% of his memory banks are the stuff he's downloaded. it. He's basically a giant torrent. Sarah: [37:47] That's a good point. I'm going to change my answer. I'm going to Murderbot. Tara: [37:51] All right. Sounds like a fun hang for all of us, I think. All right. Let's hear clip 13. Hello, Extra Hot Great. This is Katie Rich. I am so honored to be back to, on 30 Rock, or Ricky Roy, played by Renee Elise Goldsberry on Girls 5 Eva? Good luck. Thanks a lot. Sarah: [38:50] Oh, wow. Dave: [38:51] Okay. Tara: [38:52] I'll go first. This is really tough. Katie knew what she was doing. I mean, Jenna and Wiki are sort of the same character in a lot of respects. They're chaos agents. They're extremely self-involved. They're not the kind of people that are going to be easily led or follow a strategy that you try to lay out for your gameplay. But the question is, I guess, which of them do you think you can work with better? and I think it's probably, oh God, I think it's going to be Jenna because she has more of an eye to what she can turn this opportunity into in terms of her career. Like she's going to be thinking about how to stay on the longest, how to parlay this into her next America's Kids Got Singing or whatever that show is called that she was a mean judge on. Is she going to be successful probably not she is extremely self-involved like I said and kind of dumb also but I think she's gonna try more than Wiki who is just gonna be stopping down production every chance she gets to like do a number yeah So that's why I'm going to say Jenna over Wiki, but it's real close. Dave, what do you think? Dave: [40:06] Well, I mean, I think they would both take any opportunity to belt out a song. Tara: [40:09] True. Dave: [40:10] When the moment's there. Tara: [40:11] True. Sarah: [40:11] Yeah. Dave: [40:12] None of it would make final edit because it would cost too much for the rights. Tara: [40:15] Right. Dave: [40:15] So it's all in vain. This is possibly, I think this is the toughest call we've had so far, at least for me, because they are very similar. Jenna Maroney as a character does more actual self-destructive things. too. Like, you know, when she gives herself a chemical peel and she looks like the Joker for a while and that kind of stuff. I'm not super familiar with the traitors. I've watched a few episodes. But if you're a pair of traitors and you're bringing in a third, is it important that you carry them all the way to the end? Or can you basically get a third person to use as a meat shield to sort of be if one of the traitors is going to get voted out, you make them the most suspect? Tara: [40:54] I think either, either both, either or both. Dave: [40:57] Like it just basically what happened to that australian yes episode we saw with yes yes ex-military or ex-government yes yeah it's so close but i think i could better predict wiki roy's actions than i can jenna maroney's and it's not like a gulf it's really close they're both chaotic and they both can do the unexpected yeah but i feel like jenna maroney 30 rock lives in a slightly more elastic reality than girls 5 ever where like almost the supernatural can happen in 30 Rock. Well, I mean, it can. Sarah: [41:33] Yes. Dave: [41:33] I guess if Kenneth is immortal. Tara: [41:35] Correct. Yes. Dave: [41:36] So I feel like the chaos with Moroni is just a smidge more chaotic. So I think Wiki Roy would be the safer, but not safe bet. But boy, that's a tough choice. Tara: [41:48] It really is. Sarah, what do you think? Sarah: [41:50] I mean, I have more limited exposure to both shows than you guys, but my instinct says that wiki is not a safe choice, but safer, like Dave said, because, as Dave also said, Jenna's self-absorption and surrealist motivations are more surreal and more difficult to parse and manage, I would say, than wikis, which are just straight-up actor bullshit, mostly. Dave: [42:18] And I think there is a slight difference that Jenna Maroney wouldn't care if she got all the way to the end if she got press. Whereas Wiki Roy is a little more competitive. She's much more award-driven. She's much more first prize-y. Tara: [42:34] True. Dave: [42:34] A little more Lisa Simpson in her than Jenna Maroney. Jenna Maroney would look for that one moment to Queen of Jordan storm off. Tara: [42:42] Yes. Dave: [42:43] Right? and be the topic of the day on the internet. Sarah: [42:48] Yeah. Tara: [42:49] Mm-hmm. Sarah: [42:49] Mm-hmm. Tara: [42:50] Okay. Dave: [42:51] All right. Cool. Tara: [42:52] This one is for me. Clip 14. Hi, this is Alex Collins with a Would You Rather for Tara. Would you rather go on an, rather go on an entire season of Celebrity Amazing Race paired with Julie Bowen? Sarah: [43:15] Wow. Tara: [43:16] Rude. I'm sure Taskmaster and the contestant that I would hate doing it the most with is, and I've said this on many occasions, I'll say it again, Joe Brand from Series 9. Taskmaster is not all the time. The Amazing Race is relentless. You are with your partner from when you stop until you get kicked off the show or win one or the other. Like you're just, I think you probably can sleep in separate beds, but that's it. The rest of the time, your your success is completely dependent on how well the two of you can work together. And I do not think I could work with her nor her with me. I don't I don't I think we would both hate each other, honestly. Tara: [43:54] And Joe Brand and I would not like each other either. But at least once the task is over, we could go to our separate dressing rooms. Tara: [44:01] And like take a break from each other and not have to see each other for six. Tara: [44:05] Months until after, you know, you're back in the studio. so just uh on the basis of length of exposure it's gonna be me and joe brand on a team with task for taskmaster which i guess makes me unfortunately david to deal so thank you for putting me in that corner i hate it clip 15 is for sarah and nick is back hello friends once again i have a separate would you rather for each of you so here we go sarah. Tara: [45:35] Life, spending millions of pounds on a stack of gold bars that are very clearly just chocolate wrapped in gold foil. What is your choice? That is what he would do. Sarah, in case it's been too long since you've seen Men in Black, I put pictures of Edgar in the chat. So he's like an alien wearing a human suit, essentially, acting real weird. Sarah: [45:55] I just want to salute NRJ for those ridiculously detailed Scenari-E and say that I thank you and I appreciate you and you are dead to me. The detail that we have to solve a triple homicide in a sugar factory and this is functionally a cockroach in a redneck zombie body. Like, I can't. I can't. he's gonna eat himself to death compromise the crime scene and we'll be fucked yeah i just don't i mean alexander eames had a lot of patience with some of goran's whatnot but uh this isn't goran whatnot and he's not a know-it-all he's a know-nothing except eating is the other scenario easy no it isn't and um absolutely that's gonna be a very big job to to talk him out of buying a huge stack of cleverly wrapped sweets, basically. But that will probably involve test eating the sweets. Is A. B. I get to travel to Britain, which I would enjoy, and go to actual Downton Abbey, which I would also enjoy. I'm going to take the Downton gig. I feel like I'm going to accidentally get at, honestly, in the other scenario, and I don't need it. But thank you. that was extremely well-embroidered, and I appreciate it. Dave: [47:20] I got another one for you, Sarah. Off the cup, here we go. Would you rather live in a world where every episode of Sopranos had a cut-to-black ending, each episode with a different character, and then the whole series wraps up with a Six Feet Under-style Sia reveal on how each one died, or Law & Order lasts forever with whoever currently has Jerry Orbach's eyes as the lead detective? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Sarah: [47:49] Oh, my God. Oh, God. I mean, Law & Order is still sometimes dead as beta-ing along with a bunch of people who are not American playing New York DAs. So, yeah, I mean, the Sopranos thing sounds really kind of annoying and corny. And I did get this series finale into the canon. So I feel bad selling it and myself out like that. But I can't with the Orbach corny eye detective. So Sopranos. But good question. Dave: [48:25] Thank you. Tara: [48:25] Wow. All right. Joe's back in clip 16. Let's hear it. Sarah: [48:29] Would you rather be a guest on the podcast that Kristen Bell and Justine Loops characters host on. Tara: [48:36] Wants This? or be a patient in the emergency room on the pits. Well, in both cases, you're in terrible, terrible pain. So I'll tell you that. For the two of you who have never watched, Nobody Wants This, the podcast is just a hangout podcast. These are two extremely vapid Los Angeles 30-somethings just like talking about relationships. When people call in with the question, their producer holds her phone on speakerphone up to a microphone. Like, the production values are extremely low and infuriating. Somehow, this is their full-time job. That part is infuriating, too. So now you know. Dave, what are your thoughts? Dave: [49:18] Well, the pit is sort of a tragedy magnet. I mean, even for a hospital, it seems to have a really bad day. Tara: [49:25] Yeah. Dave: [49:26] And I don't want to be part of a mass casualty event, even if I'm not part of the mass casualty itself. Tara: [49:31] Mm-hmm. Dave: [49:32] I don't know. It seems like an easy choice to me. Sarah: [49:35] Well, I mean, you could sort of fillet the question that it's like you have to be in some TV emergency room and this is it. So you can't get out of that part. Tara: [49:46] Right. Sarah: [49:47] But I don't think that's the intent. I think even a Hangout podcast as Lucy Goosey and 90210MG-ish as this one sounds will still be over more quickly. then like it seems like gen pop in the pits waiting room you're there. Tara: [50:04] For like the morning yeah at best passola well you i can't believe i'm saying this the problem with being a guest on nobody wants this is that like i said it is their full-time job they are the podcast is successful lots of people listen to this and i would make a terrible impression i would not be a good guest on that podcast i would not be able to as we've already said in this episode hide my contempt i would it would ruin me for the for any future opportunities because i just would not i think constitutionally be able to get along with them in a way that would potentially like ruin my career so i'm gonna go to the pit and hope i would not care. Sarah: [50:49] About that i guess it's just something to be gotten through so I don't have to go to the emergency room, which is like, all right, let's do it. Dave: [50:56] All right, Tara, I got one for you. Off the cup. Here we go. Tara: [50:58] Okay. Dave: [50:59] Would you rather live in a universe where you can watch Call the Midwife, but every time on Call the Midwife, whenever there's an emotional scene, you can hear somebody off camera say boobs. Or... You can watch Friends, but Monica is now played by whoever has Jerry Orbach's eyes. Sarah: [51:20] Oh my God. Please stop. Tara: [51:23] I'm going to say Friends because I've seen it enough that mixing it up with some kind of different energy, I think, would be entertaining to me. I would love to see. Dave: [51:31] I think the question is, like, your Friends would no longer exist. Tara: [51:35] Yeah. Dave: [51:35] Okay. You would never have the association. Tara: [51:38] It's okay. I've seen it enough. It exists in its original version in my heart. And so, yeah, Monica. Sarah: [51:45] As- Eternal sunshine of the Oarbox corneas. Dave: [51:48] Every episode of Friends starts off with a crime scene quip by Monica. Sarah: [51:52] I don't know why this is happening to us. Tara: [51:56] All right. The next one is also for me. It's from Carrie. Tara, I know you love your Alamond draft house, Unlimited Pass. Tara: [52:27] Who's going to constantly ask you to explain the plot to him. Okay. The thing is, in either of those cases, it's only going to be a problem for a minute because they're going to get kicked out. That's the whole thing of Alamo is if you make any kind of ruckus, people can complain about you and raise an order card and a manager will come and they'll give you one warning. And then after that, you get kicked out and you don't get a refund. So I think I'm going to go with Stephen Toast because it would be funnier for everyone to hear him reading all the credits. And he is going to figure out after the first time, I don't want to try and do this again versus Joey, who never learns. And he's going to every time be sitting next to me asking who that is. What did they say when I asked who that is? And in both cases, they're going to get kicked out. But I think Stephen is going to find something else to do. Yes! this is from a listener named seth white let's hear it hey panel it's your boy seth you've been cursed by a vengeful tv god you. Sarah: [53:47] David borian as orianas as the irish lad liam before he was vamped into Angel. Thanks. Tara: [53:56] So, Sookie, for those who are not familiar, this is what it basically sounds like when an Australian person tries to sound like she's from the Bayou in Louisiana. So, real... over-determined and rough. Dave, why don't you go first? Dave: [54:12] Oh, absolutely. Boreanaz's Irish one, because it's terrible and bad, but it's also funny and tragic, whereas I find Cajun accents like fucking nails on a chalkboard. Cannot stand it. So, easy choice for me. I mean, sorry to all our Louisiana people, but no thank you. Tara: [54:33] I agree with Dave. Sookie also has the disadvantage of like, her accent aside, her voice is tough for me. And the Liam version of Angel is also like, like Dave said, it's tragic, but it's pretty, it's pretty funny. Dave: [54:52] In my head, everybody from that area of the United States sounds like the guy from the 80s with the old Grady's chips. I guarantee it. It's like, oh no, cannot do it. Guarantee nothing sir. Sarah: [55:03] Well this is actually what it sounds like like um i had to review like cajun ghost hunters or something like that or like ghost hunters nolens and it's like well okay first of all dancing is not a way of life and second of all it does sound like a bronx accent but while you're gargling bourbon i don't get how it works and i can't replicate it i don't mind it but i I also enjoy Boston and Philadelphia accents, so I am a bad person with many problems. With that said, it is all a potato that is extremely tragic and hilarious, and I would rather listen to that and look at his stupid wig with that stupid little tied on pigtail all day. Dave: [55:47] Was the scenario on TV or in life? Tara: [55:50] In life. Dave: [55:50] In life. So everything's happening. Like you're going to get the news and it's going to be all tragic. Tara: [55:55] Yes. Dave: [55:55] Tragedy. Yeah. Tara: [55:56] Yes. Dave: [55:57] It's magically delicious yeah I couldn't handle everything being with a Cajun accent I would yeah no I would do something bad. Tara: [56:04] This next one is the last one from Nick and it's for Dave only. Dave: [56:08] Alright Okay, Dave, you're given a portal that lets you reach your hand through your TV screen. Tara: [56:24] Or you can reach through the screen to retrieve and eat any snack you see in a TV show. Which version of the portal are you. Sarah: [56:31] Going to use? Dave: [56:32] This feels like a trap. I feel like there's a follow-up clip where there's a terrible truth about one of them. Sarah: [56:37] What if it's a giant spider made of France? Dave: [56:41] The only thing you can eat now is spider loaf. Sarah: [56:46] Spider loaf. Dave: [56:48] I have dogs I can pet. Tara: [56:49] Mm-hmm. Brag. Dave: [56:51] Yeah. But I don't have easy access to a lot of the foods I like. Granted, I would use it for the worst shit. We've already had this conversation recently on the podcast, but I would be the person that makes Tara's scenario come true, and I would eat all the shit that Hitchcock and Scully are eating on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. It's like, oh, shitty New York slice of pizza? Yes, please. I don't care if it has toner on it or whatever. I'll eat it. Tara: [57:15] You said toner. I was like, I thought you were going to say toenail. So honestly, either way. Dave: [57:21] Great British Bake Off. Tara: [57:22] Yeah. Dave: [57:23] Get that one thing that looks good and not too fussy from the episode. Sarah: [57:27] And when they're doing that extreme close-up showing you before it goes up for judging. And then Dave's hairy wrist enters the frame. Excuse me. Genoese. Dave: [57:41] Or actually, you know what happens? My hairy hand comes in and I, oh, it's the Dave handshake. is even better than the Hollywood one. We do the handshake and like withdraw my hand. There's like a five pound note. Like, all right. You did the thing with the money and the shake. Yeah, absolutely. Reach in and get some food. I mean, I love, I would love to have both and also be able to give Littles Hobo a little scritch behind the ears or whatever. But, you know, I can do that in real life. Tara: [58:12] Yeah, can and do. Dave: [58:14] Can and do. Tara: [58:14] All right we got a couple of text ones as we're winding up these are all uh musical jermaine wants to know you must listen to one piece of music on a loop one hour a day for the rest of your life would you rather listen to the pick pick pick jingle from the purdue commercial or the ask ehg tune sarah as the one who brought the purdue commercial into our lives you should go first. Sarah: [58:40] I mean. Dave: [58:41] Wait, hang on a sec. I think I need to play them both because this is an extra hot great. And some people may have not heard the extra. Sarah: [58:48] Please do. Tara: [58:48] Yes. Dave: [58:49] Okay. So first of all. Sarah: [58:50] I love them both. Dave: [58:50] The first one was picky. Yes. Tara: [58:52] Pick, pick, pick. Dave: [58:53] Yeah. Sarah: [58:53] Pick, pick, pick. Dave: [58:54] All right. I think they're both from extra, extra hot great at some point. So let me play them as I find them. Here is pick, pick, pick. All right. That's just one, that's one, that looped. Or the Ask EHG theme, which is this. Tara: [59:42] Well, your bias is showing that you played the full Ask EHD tune. Dave: [59:54] All right, those are your options. Sarah: [59:57] Oh, God. Tara: [59:59] Sarah, please go first. Sarah: [1:00:01] It's a whole hour, huh? Look, I have loved the Ask EHD music since it was the theme song to our Catfish podcast. Two Old Hookers. Tara: [1:00:13] R.I.P. Sarah: [1:00:14] Which, yeah. Oh, my God. What a terrible name. We are bad people. The more Dave plays of it, the more I love it. I will listen to Pick, Pick, Pick. I would be okay with that. I might go and listen to it after we're done recording. It has a very special place in my no longer chicken eating heart. It's an hour a day on a loop. Tara: [1:00:37] Yes. Sarah: [1:00:38] It's close. It's closer than it should be. and neither of these is a hardship for me, but I'm going to go with Pick, Pick, Pick. Tara: [1:00:45] Wow. I'm going to go with Ask EHG only because it doesn't have lyrics. It feels more musical to me. The pick, something about the quality of the screechiness of the singing. Sorry, Sarah. It would be hard. Sarah: [1:01:01] Don't be. Tara: [1:01:02] It would be hard for me for a whole hour. So Under Duress, which obviously all of these are, it's going to be Ask EHG. So Dave, break the tie. Dave: [1:01:11] Oh yeah ASCII SG for sure the picky commercial is like zero dark 30 torture territory put away that Metallica it's time for the Purdue picky song no alright fine I bombed it I bombed it noted, but let me give you this alternative scenario song number one for an hour yeah. Sarah: [1:01:37] Walked right into that shit didn't we, He's stuck in my fucking head now. Not dead. Dave: [1:01:46] Or song number two by Josh Radner. Tara: [1:01:50] Ooh. Sarah: [1:01:51] Why are you... Why? Why are you like this? I won't be like my father And I broke up with my mother I. Dave: [1:01:59] Got tired of her kisses Tired of her smothering Hanks around my fingers. Tara: [1:02:17] Put a pin in that because it leads directly into the next question, which is from Brian Mitchell Young, better known on the Discord as Dr. Calhoun. Dr. Calhoun wants to know, would you rather have to listen to the theme of the Mindy Project every time you go to the restroom or never hear music again? So if you want to throw in the Josh Ratner song as another option, I think that's fair. Dave: [1:02:40] So the question is, no music at all, ever, or every time you go to the bathroom, the Mindy theme plays? Yeah, obviously Mindy theme. That was great. Tara: [1:02:50] Yeah. Dave: [1:02:50] It's a terrible song, but I would laugh every time I pee, especially when I'm like out and about. Like say we're at the Alamo and I go into the bathroom and there's like, you know, three guys in the stalls and you're like, time to pee. And I'm like grooving to it as I pee. They're all like, where the hell is that coming from? It seems to be coming from this man's head. By the way, that boops is me peeing in the urinal. Like, I also time my pee to the music. I get so good at it after a few weeks. Tara: [1:03:22] Yeah, that would be my choice, too. The Mindy Project theme is bad, but it's also short. Dave: [1:03:26] What I like about your scenario is because you're in a stall, it's also a little bit echoey and it's hard to locate. So you're not quite sure where it's coming from. It's even more mysterious in the ladies' room. Tara: [1:03:36] Yeah. Sarah? Sarah: [1:03:37] Well, but not really, because you'll be in the poo stall and the boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, hopefully you can time it to the plops. Yeah, I'm fine with Mindy Project in the restroom. Tara: [1:03:48] It would be an occupational hazard if you couldn't hear any other music ever again. Sarah: [1:03:53] But I also would not be able to hear that or Josh Radner ever again. So, you know, it's not a complete disaster, but I'd still rather go Mindy Project. Tara: [1:04:03] Sure. Well, we're keeping it on the musical tip for our final question. This is the last from Joe. Would you rather watch a fully sincere Broadway musical adaptation, musical adaptation of The Wire. Sarah looks horrified. Sarah, I think you should go last. These are both more your shows than they are ours. Sarah: [1:04:31] I'm completely paralyzed. Tara: [1:04:32] Dave, what are your thoughts? Sincere SVU or tongue-in-cheek The Wire? Dave: [1:04:39] Yeah. Tara: [1:04:39] Broadway musicals in both cases. Dave: [1:04:43] First of all, I don't like Broadway shows, so this is doubly hard for me. I think I could survive longer with a lighthearted, funny take on The Wire than I could sitting through a sincere adaptation of Law and Order. Yes, the Law and Order one could go all the way around the dial where it becomes entertaining and campy because it is so bad. Tara: [1:05:07] Yes. Dave: [1:05:07] It's Aaron Sorkin's Luigi. Tara: [1:05:10] Yes. Dave: [1:05:11] But I would go with the safer bet with The Wire. Tara: [1:05:15] Yes. Dave: [1:05:15] I would also like it to cover all five seasons of The Wire in one show, so it keeps on moving super fast. That would be part of the appeal. Tara: [1:05:24] Yeah, I agree with you for all the same reasons. I think a jokey version of The Wire, I think the show had a lot of wit in it that they could tap into and it wouldn't be that much of a breach. Dave: [1:05:37] The rap battle about the names of the drug song right before the intermission? Tara: [1:05:42] Totally. whereas an svu musical like in the style of les miserables sounds brutal to me so it's the wire for me as well but the only opinion that matters on this one i think is sarah debunkers. Sarah: [1:05:57] Yeah the svu is already so self-serious and self-important that this would absolutely be like, unbearable to anyone even big fans of the show which like i'm sort of ironically watching it at this point but uh yeah that would just be a disaster the wire source material has proved really durable across not media really but some french guy made them into a two-part graphic novel homicide the show the graphic novel and it's good corner is great the wire was great I think that David Simon has not levity, but enough wit, like you said. And I think that the way they iterated on the theme song, each season suggests that this would not be completely out of bounds for them to accomplish successfully and to write some songs that are actually durable and good. So I would go and see it just to see, because worst case, it's like a terrible miscarriage of the form. But then you never stop talking about it. And what could be bad? Dave: [1:07:09] I think we forgot one thing about the Law and Order SVU musical, which is the interruptions by Ice-T to ask a question of what everybody's singing about. Yo, you're like, yo, what's a rape kit? And it was like, this is a song about that. All right, guys, that is it for another episode of Extra Hot Grade. We discuss whether we'd rather do this or do that. Next up is the Wiz Kids Forcening on Extra Extra Hot Grade. This Friday for club members, where they get to listen to the Ask EA's G-Theme every week, and also Josh Radner a lot. Remember... What's that? The sound of clamoring getting to the club page to sign up? I am David Tegel on behalf of Tara Ariano. Tara: [1:08:03] Gotta go. My hot tub sushi's here. Dave: [1:08:05] And Sarah D. Butting. Sarah: [1:08:07] I think that I have to poo now. Excuse me while I go to poo now. Dave: [1:08:12] Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time right here on Extra. All right, great. Here's one. What's this? What.