Talking Talking Dolphins In The Six Million Dollar Man

Clip: [00:04] Mason control, I've got some news for you that's gonna shock you, so you better sit down. Listen very carefully. The earth is flat. Gentlemen, that's right, it's flat as a table. Hey, wait a minute, I there's an elephant holding up the table, and there's something holding up the elephant. Wait, it's a rhinoceros holding up the elephant. Wait a minute, there's such a big cloud cover. I can't make out what's holding up the rhinoceros. It's wait, it's. Oh, no, gentlemen, I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm just gonna have to come right out and say it. Table, the elephant, the rhinoceros are all being held up by a beautiful, a gorgeous twenty-year-old girl. There goes the old ego, among other things. It's different out here. Dave: [01:08] This is the Extra Extra Hot Great Podcast, episode 389 for the January 3rd, 2026 weekend. Do you know what's below the 20-year-old beautiful girl? Tara: [01:23] Love Dave: [01:26] I am beautiful twenty-year-old girls all the way down David T. Cole, and I'm here with Casualty of Space, Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah: [01:33] I just need a lot of rest. Dave: [01:35] And blue velvet bartender Tara Ariano. Tara: [01:38] I've got to get another job. Dave: [01:48] Welcome everybody to the first extra extra hot rate of twenty twenty six. Man, what a year it's been since the end of October through to this date here in 2026. Oh, by the way, Sarah, Happy New Year. Sarah: [02:04] Happy New Year! Clip: [02:05] America's Cookie Chuck. Dave: [02:08] All right, it's time to deal with this. And when I say deal, I mean enjoy immensely. Dave forces everyone to watch the Six Million Dollar Man Season One, Episode 17. Burning bright. William Shatner guest stars here as Josh Lang, an astronaut who, when he's on a spacewalk, is exposed to cosmic Energy that gives him strange mind powers, and he's acting all squirrely back on Earth upon his return. NASA consults Lang's friend and fellow astronaut, mister Steve Austin, with their misgivings about Lang. Clip: [02:48] This is the strangest thing I've ever encountered. You know what it's like? It's like his brain is supercharged. Well, how bad is that? Well. Tara: [03:02] Well. Dave: [03:03] After a fitness check to see if the bionic Steve Austin still pole vault and lift weights with the assistance of the film reversing the weights up and down for him. He meets Josh to see what's up. Clip: [03:17] I suddenly started getting way out ideas, fast as lightning. And not just fragments, but complete ideas, new ideas. Like the one about the sun that's the origin of space. I wanted to take a bath and whatever it was that's happening. It felt good. I feel like a walking computer. My mind races so fast. But it feels good, Steve. Sarah: [03:48] You've invented cocaine. Congratulations, Josh Lang. Dave: [03:51] Yeah. The next day, Josh is at the NASA data center going ham on dot matrix printouts, wanting to show them there's an error in the space launch math. Which is something the Cosmic Math Cloud in Space told him about. Steve rushes him out, which is like, oh, my friend, he's not feeling well. And they go on a restorative, fully White stag track suited jog around the base to some puzzling hardshoe sounding folding work for their joggers. Tara: [04:20] Thank you. Dave: [04:26] You know how running shoes make that noise. Tara: [04:28] Yeah, it's like he's running in wingtips. Sarah: [04:31] It's like in the Sting when everyone has tap shoes on during the chase scenes. Dave: [04:34] Mm-hmm. Sarah: [04:35] Like, guys, what are we doing here? Tara: [04:37] Mm-hmm. Sarah: [04:38] Also, why are there all those iPods taped to Steve Austin's tracksuit in previous scenes? I don't get it. Dave: [04:44] At this effects queue. Josh climbs a power line tower right there on the base and almost kills himself. When they are safe again on the ground, Josh can hear, with his mind powers, Steve's secret bionics. Clip: [05:04] Hey, old buddy, you're kind of special. That's what they keep saying. With your bionic strength and my far-out brain, we're superior types. Think about it, Steve. We're the beginning. Of a whole new species. Yeah. Sarah: [05:24] I love that this is his response, like usually Lee Majors to say that he's Acting is not entirely accurate, but if he's sharing scenes with not just Chatner, but Chatner playing a guy who has math phogitis. That is going to be lethal to him and others around him. Spoiler. His impassivity, let's say, is perfect. He just unzips his sweat jacket, his swacket. with nothing on underneath, down to let his chest hair listen empathetically and has basically no reaction, which is all that you can do in a scene with math crazy shit, I think. Tara: [06:03] It's true. You can't match his energy. So Lee Majors being like very opaque works even better because. Sarah: [06:11] Mm-hmm. Tara: [06:11] Shatner is like filling the entire frame with all his insanity. Dave: [06:15] In his way out mind. Sarah: [06:16] Yeah. Tara: [06:16] Yeah. Dave: [06:17] Yeah. So Steve then tells Josh he's obligated to tell NASA what's really going on. Clip: [06:23] Josh, I'm gonna have to tell him about my weirdness. Tara: [06:29] One of the best ones in the episode. Dave: [06:31] Yes, your weirdness. Sarah: [06:32] What what else would he tell them about the hair piece that Dave: [06:35] Yeah. Tara: [06:36] Now, about your lotto picks. Sarah: [06:38] Yeah, you're lotto pics. Dave: [06:39] Yes, yes, your weirdness. Sarah: [06:41] Yeah. Dave: [06:41] Or, in other words. Clip: [06:43] The problem is in me. I see that now. Dave: [06:50] So he's taken in for observation at NASA's shrink word or something. but he soon escapes, using his mind powers on the military police guarding him. And then he gets my mom to write Steve a note in Mum Cursive to meet up at the aquarium. Tara: [07:04] Yes, yep. Sarah: [07:07] Yeah. Dave: [07:07] So here's my butcher's cut of that meat at the aquarium in front of the dolphin pool. Clip: [07:14] Steve, I know why I've been coming here these last two weeks. The dolphins. Listen to them, Steve. That's the secret I'm sharing with you, Steve. I can talk to them. That's the secret. Listen to them, Steve. They're talking to me. To measty. Whatever happened to me out there in space has done something to my brain. So I can hear them talking. It's mathematics. They're communicating in math to me. Oh my God. If I can understand them after being in that electrical field up there in space. Do you realize what that means? Those dolphins are in tune with that electrical field. They're on the same frequency, the same wavelength. Josh, don't you understand? Do you realize what we could learn? If we sent one of those dolphins off into space into that electrical field, why there's no mystery in the universe that you and I couldn't solve. Dave: [08:29] Take that, Douglas Adams. Tara: [08:30] Okay. What I need is a drawing from Josh of how he thinks this is going to work. Like draw give me an example. Dave: [08:38] It's a space shuttle. Tara: [08:39] Right, with a pool in the middle. Dave: [08:41] Well, they sent it up the space shuttles at this time, you know, they were putting them on top of a plane. Tara: [08:43] Uh-huh. Dave: [08:46] And the plane would go, and then on top of that, it's going to be a dolphin pool on top of the space shuttle on top of the plane with like a plastic lid over it to keep the dolphins inside. Tara: [08:49] Right. Right. Sarah: [08:52] Mhm. Tara: [08:54] Sure, I don't. Sarah: [08:55] Uh-huh. Tara: [08:55] Mm-hmm. Dave: [08:56] Yeah. Tara: [08:56] Yeah, okay. Sarah: [08:56] Right. Tupperware? Dave: [08:57] Yeah. Tara: [08:57] Yeah, all right. Sarah: [08:57] Sure. Dave: [08:59] Immediately after the clip, Josh demonstrates his power by making the dolphins do tricks for him. He's like, now one jump up, now two, now. Four now back to two, and now one, and then all together, and all he goes through like 20 different jumps. Tara: [09:11] It's so long. Dave: [09:13] It goes on for five minutes. And when he's communicating with him, there are so many. Quick zoom shots in a row, like three quick pans into William Shatner's eyes and nose. They do it for all the characters all the time in this episode. It makes you a little dizzy after a while. Tara: [09:33] But they also only shot like three different close-ups of him, so they keep reusing the same shot, just like zoomed in or out. Dave: [09:38] Mhm. You had a better way to save money, Tar? Tara: [09:41] No, I don't. Sarah: [09:43] It's not terribly convincing, I'll say that. Dave: [09:46] Making the dolphins do tricks, though. Don't you think we're sort of dooming humanity if they are as intelligent as Shatner supposes, and that they can unlock the secrets of the universe if we send them up in space in a Tupperware? Tara: [09:58] Mhm. Dave: [09:58] Like it feels like you don't want to treat them like dogs. Tara: [10:02] Yeah, absolutely. Dave: [10:02] Yeah. Sarah: [10:03] Well, also, they don't want to do that because it sounds like a stupid idea, and they're going to like come to a boil in the upper reaches of the Earth's atmosphere Dave: [10:12] That's right. Dolphin soup. Sarah: [10:14] According to this plan. Dave: [10:14] I forgot. Sarah: [10:15] So they're like, everyone's going to think this Mofo is crazy. So we're just going to do some things that could maybe. After a cold read, be construed as us like doing the tricks for him by a mind control, but actually, we just like do that when humans are nearby because we're hoping for fish. Dave: [10:32] Yeah. What if the Tupperware container was half full of ice cubes? Something to think about. Tara: [10:39] Sounds like you need to get into an electrical field and supercharge your brain because your ideas are not as good as Josh's. Sarah: [10:43] Mhm. It's all in the dot matrix printouts that Josh destroyed, and unfortunately, now we'll never know. Dave: [10:50] So Steve Austin's just seen Josh demonstrate that he can actually talk to the dolphins. There's no real question about it. They did two, then three, then four, then back to two, then so like he knows something's up. But he's still sort of dubious and he's still sort of just like, I really want to get involved. So he takes it back to NASA. The NASA director just shit cans them basically, orders treatment under, like, I don't even know if you could do this, but basically saying, like, okay, first of all, you're never going up into space again, second of all, we're going to confine you to the ward again. So he orders that treatment. Clip: [11:28] I've got to have you confined. I've got to have you treated. And this time. Gal. Steve and I are going up. With a dolphin, and you're not going to stop us. Tara: [11:42] Steve's like, no, no, no, no, no. Clip: [11:45] Oh, geez. Oh, geez. Dave: [11:49] How's the lunchroom, Frankie? Oh, Frankie. So then Josh uses his cosmic math powers to knock him out. Sarah: [11:58] Uh Dave: [12:01] We don't quite know why his math powers cause people to have headaches and pass out, but that's how he got rid of the Military police guy earlier, and then he makes the director pass out in his office. And there is so much Physical acting on both sides of this wordless exchange. Shatner's got the zooms, and he's like with his eyes, and then The director is pressing his fingers to his temple and what's happening, and then he eventually passes out. There is so much happening at 12 in this scene. Tara: [12:34] Yeah. Sarah: [12:34] Yeah. Dave: [12:35] It is really, really fun. Sarah: [12:36] I mean, in fairness, that is how I responded to trigonometry homework almost every night of 10th grade. Dave: [12:43] Yeah, fair enough. Sarah: [12:43] So Tara: [12:43] Yeah. And the way I described it in my notes was: Josh thinks beeps at him and knocks him out. Sarah: [12:49] Mhm. Tara: [12:51] And I stand by that. Sarah: [12:52] That's misdemeanor, math assault, 100%. Dave: [12:55] Eventually, the director comes to. Lang is gone. He debriefs Oscar, who is Steve's handler. Clip: [13:02] That's exactly right. He controlled me with his mind. Oscar, I couldn't dial the telephone. I had a headache and then suddenly bam, passed out, just bam, just like that. His brain must be incredible. Dave: [13:19] On the Lamb, Josh is going to yet another power station for Sarah: [13:20] Yeah. Dave: [13:24] Reasons that we won't bother getting into, and stops off at the nearby Blue Velvet Bar and Grill, where he uses his patented impression of a low-priority Wikipedia page to try to pick up the waitress. Clip: [13:37] I suppose a lot of the people from the power station drop in here, huh? Yeah, most of the guys who come in here are from the power station. A few truck drivers. A few guys just fooling around. They built it in the 30s, WPA. Half a dozen of the workers died of heat frustration. You know why? Hey, elimination of salts from the body. That's when they started making salt bills. So I'm insisting that the construction workers take them. Wow. Dave: [14:06] I know, I understand it. What's going on there at all? The waitress, and everybody's watching like there's a police officer hanging out at the bar, sort of flirting with the waitress. He recognizes Josh from the APV that's been put out, tries to arrest him. Josh accidentally kills him with his mind powers. Tara: [14:26] Of course. Dave: [14:27] And then he escapes to Tower One, the one that he wanted to eventually get to, where Steve catches up with him in slow motion and a slappy baseline score. Including kicking down a gate with a metal chain stuck on it with Elmer's glue, I think. Sees Josh climbing halfway up the tower. Clip: [14:47] They know how to treat you, but I gotta take you back right away. They can't help me. I'm burning! Burning! Dave: [14:57] The barn door burning, burning. Sarah: [15:00] Burning, burning the wig staticking, staticking Tara: [15:05] Oh my god, the wig. Dave: [15:07] No, we can't get into the wig yet. I think we gotta like slice that off and do a special little segment later. So then Steve performs the only true bionic action of the episode, jumping up the tower, which is absolutely not reversed footage of a guy falling off the tower, if you're wondering that. After several high-yield gif moments of Shatner Eye acting through his mind power, trying to get the Steve, his mind explodes with math or something. Clip: [15:41] I'm burning brightness deep! Looking at the sun as an origin of a four-dimensional coordinate system. What position this is represented parametrically is plotted against an orthogonal time axis is given by x1 equals a cosine omega t x2 equals a sine omega t. T plus B cosine gamma D times three equals B sine gamma D J. This of course ignores the ellipse. Just leave the earth over to another sun. Dave: [16:28] He did the end, basically. Tara: [16:30] Yeah. Dave: [16:31] There's a couple codas, but RIP, Josh Lang, and all the scenery, dude. Tara: [16:36] Oh, my God. Dave: [16:36] By William Shatner. Boy, chatter in the 70s. Sarah: [16:38] Oh, my God. Dave: [16:41] I tell you, there's nothing better So I had some stray thoughts, but I thought before we got to the rest of it that we should address the elephant in the room. Tara Ariano, wake cop. Tara: [17:01] So we know what William Shatner's real-ish hair looks like because we've seen him. We've been watching him in earlier guest shots than this. Dave: [17:08] Well oh, yeah. Tara: [17:10] It's like coarse and curly. Dave: [17:11] But he also wore a hairpiece in Star Trek, so yeah. Tara: [17:13] I'm sure. But okay, well, right. Dave: [17:15] Oh, he did. It was on auction. You could buy it. Tara: [17:18] So but still, it's that was closer to what his natural hair is when we see him in like Dave: [17:20] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't a full wig. It was just like a little piece for his front. Tara: [17:25] Yeah, yeah. Dave: [17:25] Yeah. Tara: [17:26] So but this is like fine. It's it's first of all way too dark, and it's sort of it's very fine. And staticky, and it sticks out way far in the back. And when they have to take it off him and put it on his stunt double, it's like on sideways or something. Like, it just does not even look close to real hair when he's the stunt guy is up on the um on the tower. It's uh it's brutal. It's very distracting. And considering that he wants a job, you know, hanging out with dolphins all the time, like, bro, you can't get that shit wet. It's going to fall off. Sarah: [18:01] Yeah, that also is going to burst into flame in the upper reaches of the atmosphere. At one point Local Constabulary has a APB out for Josh Lang, in which he is described as 5'11, and I was like My notes are like lol only because of the wig. And then the next item is hair brown. And I was like, it's neither of those things. Tara: [18:22] No, it's not. Yeah, it's not quite Halloween grade, but it's the sort of thing where, like, you know, you don't really notice it at first. And then once you see it, it's all you can see, which is. Dave: [18:34] Well, when the sun highlights it in a certain way, and you can see like the Red Sea part down it, where you can kind of see the mesh underneath almost. Tara: [18:39] Yes, yes. Sarah: [18:40] Yeah. Tara: [18:41] The stitches, uhhuh, yeah. Dave: [18:42] Yeah. Sarah: [18:43] Mm-hmm. Dave: [18:44] There was a couple moments where I was sort of struck by how just shooting has changed so much for this. There is a couple moments in the first time we see the NASA director, and he's brought Steve Austin in. Initially, to talk about Josh Lang's weird mind. Tara: [18:59] His weirdness. Dave: [19:00] Yeah. And pours himself a glass of water, has a couple sips. And obviously, the water on set in that moment was ice cold because every time he sticks his nose in the glass, it immediately completely fogs up. Which I thought, like, I was like, oh, yeah, you don't see that anymore because nobody would ever be serving cold water in those. You know, it was a clear glass, it wasn't like a coffee cup situation. Or B, have actual like ice in it. Like that would have just been those plastic things they use instead of ice because it makes no noise. Tara: [19:32] Right. Dave: [19:32] But he did it twice, and each time, as soon as he stuck his nose in, it was like And I was like, wow, that is like, okay, it's real, but it's very distracting into something that would never fly anymore. I thought that was really interesting. Sarah: [19:44] And I wasn't struck by that part of it as much as like this episode is fifty two minutes long to today's action shows probably forty one minutes. And I always think of that interview that I did with our esteemed colleague Eric Deggins about how much in these old dramas or hour-long shows, action shows, whatever. From the 70s and 80s, where there is so much time spent watching people do the business of meetings, or like everyone files into the room, and like, would you like a glass of water? Yes, I'd love one. Cross to stage right and retrieve water that is actual water that is cold. And it's like they would never bother with this shit. You'd just like be in the middle of the conversation because there's no time. Sometimes that's like sort of funny, or it means you don't have to be paying that close attention to like an old episode of Beretta because he's just driving for like 20 minutes. You're like, why do we have to see this, Beretta? Dave: [20:47] My favorite example of that is the Colombo episode where I think he has to go to the DMV. Tara: [20:53] Yeah. Dave: [20:53] or some sort of registration process and they actually have him wait in line, get to the queue and then he has to go back to the back of the queue for some reason and they just do it and they're showing the whole thing. It goes on for like seven minutes and at the end of it he just gets like The one piece of information he needed, or something like that. It's like, oh damn, somebody forgot that this was this many minutes long and not that many minutes long. Sarah: [21:14] Mm-hmm. Dave: [21:15] And at a certain point, you just release yourself to it, and you're like, okay, now I'm having. Sarah: [21:15] Yep. Mm-hmm. Dave: [21:19] Fun being absolutely bored. What did you guys think of the 1970s computer economics? Did you catch the part Where Steve Austin is asking his handler Oscar for a favor in Washington to run the theory that Josh has about the sun being the vector of space or whatever the fuck that wording was. And then the other one about there's a problem in the code of launching trajectories or something like that. So we ask Oscar to ask a favor for Washington to run those numbers. And Oscar is like, two computer runs? Do you have any idea how expensive? Expensive, that's going to be. Tara: [21:55] Yeah, it's gonna cost a fortune. Dave: [21:56] And I'm like, aw, back in the day where you had to like book mainframe hours weeks in advance just to get a little taste of it, I thought was adorable. Tara: [22:03] Yes. Sarah: [22:05] We don't get a new box of punch cards until the second of the month. You know that, Steve! Dave: [22:10] Yeah, IBM Jr. still years away. We're not even at the personal computer era really yet in any meaningful way. Tara: [22:16] Right. And this computing that NASA would presumably need is done in Washington, not at whatever base they're at. Dave: [22:22] Yeah. Tara: [22:23] Oh boy. I did enjoy the blue velvet when we see the exterior. I called it a Pee Wee's big adventure ass looking location. And I stand by that. Dave: [22:32] Yep. Tara: [22:32] Just looks so sunbleached and so roadhouse. Dead in the middle of California, wherever they shot this. Dave: [22:38] Yeah. So yeah, okay. I'm assuming that was an actual real thing because the fixtures and everything looked a little too nice for Tara: [22:45] Oh, yeah, that. Dave: [22:46] or not nice but a little too lived in for a six million dollar man but why was the pool table so close to the counter it's like it feels like you'd be smacking people in the nuts with your pool cue Tara: [22:49] Yes. And why is the bartender dressed like she's a waitress in a diner? Dave: [23:02] Well, that's why I said it was a bar and grill, because I wasn't because it kind of felt like well, I mean, it had counter service, right? Tara: [23:08] I guess. Dave: [23:08] And the counter was like a 50s diner looking thing. So I think it was supposed to be like a Tara: [23:10] Mhm. Dave: [23:12] The one place in town, you know, like when you go out to the desert and there's like Jawbone Saloon, it's like a general store and a bar, and also they have truck parts. Tara: [23:15] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Sarah: [23:22] And a barber, yeah, and a dentist, and it's all the same like yellow glassware. Dave: [23:22] Yeah. Sarah: [23:29] heavy, almost black wood pointments and straw on the wine. Dave: [23:32] Yep. Sarah: [23:35] Yeah, that exact location was in chips at least three times. Dave: [23:35] Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sarah: [23:39] I will bet you money. Dave: [23:41] Any other parting thoughts on Six Million Dollar Man Burning Bright? Tara: [23:44] I wanted more dolphin business, I'll say that. I mean, they considering how high the billing is and the blurb for this episode. Dave: [23:51] Yeah. Tara: [23:52] I was expecting more dolphin-ness and less about his childhood friend who died, which we didn't even talk about because it was kind of boring. Dave: [23:57] Yeah, the log line was almost something like William Shatner can talk to dolphins on Peacock, which I thought was very funny. Tara: [24:02] Yeah. Dave: [24:05] But, like. The dolphin scene that I cut for you, that was like three times as long as that clip was. I cut a lot of filler out of that. So I don't know if I wanted more dolphin, but what I wanted was him talking to the dolphins like a dolphin, trying to do the chitter and chatter. Tara: [24:12] Yeah. Yes, yes. Sarah: [24:20] I thought that's what we were getting, and I was a little disappointed. Dave: [24:20] Of a dolphin, yeah. Tara: [24:24] Mm-hmm. Sarah: [24:24] I will note about that Andy like motivation Dave: [24:28] Oh, yeah, you got to explain that because I didn't bother explaining it because it was like I thought for the shatner of it all, it didn't really matter, but go ahead. Sarah: [24:34] I mean, it doesn't really matter, but basically, like, part of his madness is that he Keeps referring to an Andy, but he says when he's in his saner moments that he doesn't remember who that is, but it turns out he totally does, or at some like visceral level, he definitely does. It's a childhood friend of. His who died because Shatner's character was like, Why don't you climb the Transformer? and he did, and he got dead. But there's this moment where Steve Austin goes to interview the guy's father because the kid's father was the beneficiary of Josh Lang's. Hundred thousand dollar life insurance premium. Tara: [25:10] Oh shit. Sarah: [25:10] Oh, 74. Tara: [25:12] Mm-hmm. Sarah: [25:12] What a uh what a time to not be alive. But anyway, he was um talking about how he didn't actually remember Josh Lang that well, which I thought was a That sort of interesting verite touch. And the dad has this line where he's like, you know, little boys, they're all ears and teeth. Tara: [25:26] Ears and teeth. Sarah: [25:28] And I just thought that was such a like sharply observed, like Eudora Weltian thing to say in the fucking six million dollar man that I was like, pause, scribble, scribble. Tara: [25:28] Yes. Sarah: [25:30] That Every now and then it like does something that's legitimately like thoughtful, but then it's surrounded by this ham buffet hilarity. Dave: [25:47] Yeah. Sarah: [25:48] I'm not mad. I enjoyed it. It was a pleasing 51 and a half minutes. Dave: [25:53] Yeah, as Six Million Dollar Man episodes go, it was short on Bionics and I was very disappointed to find out the theme doesn't happen until probably season two at the very earliest. Because the Cretus did not have the da-da-da-da. It was just sound effects and surgery scenes. Sarah: [26:09] Yeah. Dave: [26:10] So that was a bit disappointing. Sarah: [26:12] Well, they figured it out. Dave: [26:12] But we were here for the shatner of it all. And boy, did it deliver on that front. Sarah: [26:16] We sure were. Woo! Yes, it did. Dave: [26:23] You know what else delivers? It's this segment's theme. Ask EHG theme. Everybody loves it. Everybody's talking about it. Possibly the more annoying thing than William Shatner in Six Million Dollar Man. All right, this is an advanced tape if you haven't figured it out yet. So, no ask, ask, EHG judgment. So, we'll get straight into your questions. Only a few this week. First one from EC Fell. Inspired by seeing a cocktail called The Floor is Guava on a menu. What punny TV-based cocktail are you inventing and what's in it? Famous boozehound Sarah D. Bunting. What do you got? Sarah: [27:12] Hey, I'm not famous. I have invented the Darkonia and Stormy. A Dark and Stormy is dark rum and ginger beer. On the rocks, which this still is, but it is served in a wide, flat, sabra-sized dip container. And instead of a lime, it is garnished with ribbon candy to evoke Oliver's scarves in Only Murders in the Building. Tara: [27:34] Nice. Dave: [27:35] I don't know what goes in any drinks, so I just provide you with four names, and then you amongst yourselves can figure out what you want to put into it. Number one, booze clues. Number two, Spillmore Girls. Sarah: [27:47] Mm-hmm. Dave: [27:47] Number three, Saved by the Bellini. And number four, the A Old Team. Tara: [27:53] Okay. Sarah: [27:54] Saved by the Bellini. Hmm. Tara: [27:56] Mine is the Holy Mole. It is a Bloody Mary, but it's made with Mole sauce instead of Tabasco. Dave: [28:02] Okay. Sarah: [28:02] Ooh, okay. Dave: [28:03] Damon, is there a more modern version of the phrase jump the shark to save explaining happy days and Fonzie to a younger generation? I'm not hip and cool. I don't know what the kids are saying this way. So I'm going to meet you halfway between then and now with Leroy Jenkins. Sarah. Sarah: [28:24] I mean, I think the problem is not the show. I think the problem is that once you get Past a certain year, there's just not a monoculture in the same way that happy days was. And you're going to have to explain most things to all generations because everything kind of fragmented. I don't know. Like, Pam and Jim get married on the office seems fine. Everyone else has to kind of vote on. Like, This is a newer one that everyone understands, but it struck me that, like, the most universal cross-generational show probably is Friends, and it never exactly jumped to Shark, Tara, Thoughts. Tara: [29:01] Uh no, it just had good and bad episodes and right. Dave: [29:02] I mean, it had bad moments, but it didn't have a demarcation between good years and bad years, right? Yeah. Yeah. Tara: [29:09] It wasn't like there was a point where it all went downhill. So, yeah, I don't know. I mean, mine isn't really T V based at all. If the idea is like you're trying to describe the idea or encapsulate the idea of something being like over, like the pivotal moment after which something is no longer worth Paying attention to anymore. I went with made a notes app apology because I'm just thinking people who get canceled that that's what they do, and then you that's the last thing you ever hear from them. Sarah: [29:29] Mhm. Tara: [29:38] So that was that was my idea. Dave: [29:40] That's kind of a tough one. Yeah. And with an E, what would you invent a parade for? Tara: [29:47] So there's a future event coming probably soon. We all hope, I think. I'm not going to say what it is. Dave: [29:54] Maybe it's happened already. Tara: [29:55] Maybe it has by the time you hear this but I think this event Sarah: [29:56] Yeah, God. Dave: [29:57] In which case Sarah: [30:00] Say it to God, my letters. Tara: [30:04] whatever it is, is probably going to spark a lot of like spontaneous block parties, and we might as well cap those off with a celebratory parade and have that parade every year on the anniversary to remember how great it felt when This event occurred. Dave: [30:19] Hmm. Tara: [30:19] Sarah Dave: [30:20] Interesting. Sarah: [30:21] Aside from that, I would not invent a parade for anything because I live in a city. Parades are annoying and intrusive. If someone can find a way to Cram all the parades into a single day so I could be out of town. That would probably be best, with an exception for The New York City Marathon, which makes it impossible to leave the neighborhood, but who wants to? Because everyone's running past my house, and it's early enough in the parade that people are still like high stepping, like, this is great. Two miles later, they're like, I fucked up. With the event exception noted, I got nothing. Tara: [30:56] Sure. Mm-hmm. Sarah: [30:58] I'll give the guy who crams all the parades into a single day a parade. Dave: [31:01] All right, two questions for you, Sarah. One, how bad it would be if we reignited an eighties sensation and had parades across America? Where is this a chain of parades creating one giant parade from LA to New York? Tara: [31:16] Like a relay, yeah. Dave: [31:17] Yeah. Sarah: [31:17] Right. Tara: [31:18] Mm-hmm. Sarah: [31:18] That is Midtown Manhattan, like every Sunday from May to Thanksgiving. Dave: [31:22] Yeah. Okay. Sarah: [31:25] So not awesome, but also okay. Dave: [31:26] So not not great. Okay. Question two. What's worse, a parade or a New York City street fair? Sarah: [31:35] Oh. Dave: [31:36] And the street fair is basically a collection of like food vendors, people selling tchotchkes, and they all come from Queens in New Jersey, and they just set up their gazebos and kiosks and stuff. Tara: [31:40] People selling socks for some reason. Sarah: [31:43] Mm-hmm. Yeah. Dan Reading Glasses Day, you mean? Yeah. I mean, it depends. Like, they tend to be like, I'm closer to the avenue that doesn't get closed except for the marathon. So they're usually fine. Like, a block party on my block. Street fairs are okay. But yeah, what's worse? Having lived in both kinds of neighborhood, parade is worse. Because a parade does not have funnel cake close enough to you. Dave: [32:15] Right, right, right. Tara: [32:15] Yeah, you can't get corn on the cob at a parade. Dave: [32:18] That's fair. My answer is parades. It's a parade of miniature parades, and it happens very quickly due to the small size of the parades. Tara: [32:26] Hmm. Dave: [32:26] You can book these parades to happen in your own hallway. Tara: [32:30] Mm-hmm. Dave: [32:30] Yeah. Tara: [32:30] Hmm. Mm. Dave: [32:31] Or, alternatively, a parade for coffee shops with standard cream measurements. Tara: [32:37] This is Dave's bugaboo of the week. Dave: [32:39] I go to an independent little coffee hut shack in the middle of a parking lot. I like their coffee. Tara: [32:45] He su supports local business. Dave: [32:45] It's tasty, but support local businesses and female-owned, I believe, Tara. Tara: [32:51] Oh, mm-hmm. Dave: [32:51] So double good on me. Give me kudos. Tara: [32:55] Congratulations. Dave: [32:56] Thanks. But they don't train their baristas to glug. Sarah: [32:57] Where's your parade? Dave: [33:01] The same amount of half and half in the drinks. When I say I just want cream, right? Sarah: [33:05] Mhm. Dave: [33:06] Cream, that just means the regular amount, the standard amount of cream. And sometimes I get a person, a glug. Sarah: [33:11] A globe Dave: [33:13] But sometimes they get a person that's like one drop slowly forming at the lip and it falls down. Tara: [33:16] Bloop Dave: [33:18] They're like, oh, that's enough. And then sometimes they get the one where it's like it's overflowing and it's on the floor and shit like that. Tara: [33:21] It's half cream. Dave: [33:24] And it's like almost white. Sarah: [33:24] Yeah. Dave: [33:26] You know, I have a preference. I want like a quarter cup of cream in my large coffee or something like that. Sarah: [33:31] It should be standardized like for bartenders, actually, where it's like it's a one count, or whatever, a hotel room Manhattan where it's like a one and a half count of this and yeah. Tara: [33:34] Yes. Dave: [33:36] Yeah. Tara: [33:37] Yeah. Dave: [33:40] Yep. Tara: [33:41] Right, yeah, or poured in a shot glass. Dave: [33:42] So I know I'm not crackpot. Sarah: [33:42] You're not a crackpot. Yeah. Dave: [33:45] I'm saying if they could do this, I would throw a parade for them. And the one thing I will say. There's a chain. Well, I guess it's here now, too, but Tim Horton's in Canada. That's the big coffee shop there. It kind of sucks, but whatever. But what they do is, like, you know, and I'm sure it's the same with Duncan's. You ask for cream and they like punch something, and a standard amount of cream comes out of the machine. Sarah: [34:02] Mm-hmm. Dave: [34:03] So you ask for, you know, one cream, or I want double cream, and you get exactly two times as much cream when you ask for a double. Sarah: [34:04] Yeah. Dave: [34:10] Look, I know it's expensive and it's a machine and it's counter space, but every coffee shop needs one of these so that I can get the standard amount of cream when I ask for cream. Sarah: [34:18] Or just have the double jigger, like the little, I think there's a name for it. It's called like the jigger knot or something like that. It's like a shot glass, but it's a double Dave: [34:27] It's the worst X-Man. Sarah: [34:28] Like a oh, he's terrible. Or she. It's like a little barbell and has a handle. It's like a candle snuffer, but with two sides. Tara: [34:32] Yeah. Yeah. We used my parents used to have one. Dave: [34:34] Oh, yeah, they got those. Sarah: [34:34] Get that. Dave: [34:36] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tara: [34:36] Yeah. Dave: [34:36] Is that what they're for? Sarah: [34:37] Yeah. Tara: [34:37] Well, they're for shots normally for like liquor shots, but you could use them for cream and milk. Dave: [34:40] I've seen those at the coffee shop, but they don't use it for that. Anyways, all right, we're going long on milk. Tara: [34:43] Oh Sarah: [34:43] Oh, well, they should. Ew, phrasing. Dave: [34:48] George is here with our next question. Which reality show would you benefit most from letting the cast or contestants visit a rage room to beat the shit out of a car from time to time? Tar. Tara: [34:59] Well, the real answer is all, but I will say survivor, because it would be funny to see production like put together a rage room on the beach. Dave: [35:06] A helicopter or car in? Tara: [35:08] Yeah. Dave: [35:08] See, the thing is about the car is I'm just imagining the bonus scene from Street Fighter, where after you win a couple of fights, you get to smash the car up. Tara: [35:15] Yeah, I have seen people go to rage rooms on reality shows before. Dave: [35:16] Yeah. Tara: [35:19] I'm pretty sure they did it on couples therapy appropriately, but it wasn't always a car. Dave: [35:22] Yeah. Tara: [35:23] It was just like you go in a room, there's stuff you can break. Dave: [35:24] Smash blades. Yeah. Tara: [35:26] Like prate, yeah, plates and stuff, or mirrors, and whatever. Dave: [35:27] Yeah. Yeah. Tara: [35:29] Dave. Dave: [35:30] I think after getting absolutely crushed in this reality show that you'd want to go and smash stuff because you enter, even if you're trying to hide it, you go into the show with very high expectations and hopes and dreams. and you leave often with them crushed and you want to go into a rage room and smash it after you've been on antiques roadshow. Tara: [35:50] Yes. Dave: [35:51] Sarah. Sarah: [35:53] Uh just a sub guy named Gordo going ham on a piano. I am guessing that top chef contestants could use at least a pillow to scream into and probably just some glassware to fuck up. when there is yet another hat on a hat twist in a challenge that is already top heavy. Dan and I often could use that just watching the show. So yeah, top chef rage room. Get after it. Dave: [36:19] George is back from the last question we just did. Who is one of the worst brothers in television? Sarah, worst brother. Sarah: [36:27] I mean, I first thought Blotted out all other thoughts. So I'm going to say Chuck McGill from Better Call Saw, but honestly, both McGills are in the conversation. Tara: [36:37] It's true. Sarah: [36:37] Depends on your point of view. Tara. Tara: [36:39] I also went with the first thought, best thought, Joe Bluth, Dave. Dave: [36:43] I also put Chuck and Jimmy McGill. Yeah, I thought they were both shitty to each other, so share the gold. Sarah: [36:46] Mhm. Yeah, sure were. And yeah, like uh force multiplied each other's shiniestness as well. Dave: [36:54] Yep. But boy, that episode where they go to court. Tara: [36:58] Yep, it's in the canon. Dave: [36:59] That's so good. Sarah: [36:59] Oh, God, Silka sure is. Dave: [37:00] Yeah. To pickles, crossword puzzles, or word searches, pen or pencil? Neither. But if I did, I'd pen up like a man. Tara: [37:13] I don't do crossword puzzles or word searches. My version of this is Sudoku, which I only do on the plane. I use a clicky top ballpoint pen, and if I fuck up a puzzle, I just abandon it because I have a whole book of like 600 of them. Dave: [37:28] Yeah, and now you're talking like a man. Sarah: [37:32] Crosswords in pen, 'cause I'm not trying to have my late mother claw above ground and kick my ass for saying pencil Dave: [37:37] Yeah, look at us. Clip: [37:39] Make me a manly pile. Dave: [37:42] Yeah, all right. Sarah: [37:43] Are we not men? Dave: [37:45] George is here with the third George question of the week. Sarah: [37:45] We're not. Dave: [37:48] It is actually also our ask, ask, EHG question. So get ready to answer this. What show did you quit because a character you like was written off? Either just disappeared for some reason that a writer made up, or they killed him off, or the actor died, whatever. And after you're like, can't do it, don't want to. What's the show and exactly why did that upset you? All right, so go to the Ask, Ask, EHG channel on Discord, or you can email me your answer directly: David at coal. fyi. It is time for the extra hot, great, tiny Canon presenting this week. It is Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah: [38:31] Oh, it's me. I'm back with yet another Soprano Submish. I will try to keep it short. Season six of The Sopranos could be frustrating. A lot of it felt like self-indulgent stalling, like nobody would say no to creator David Chase anymore, and the industry that no longer gave him any no's was rewarded with his contempt for all of his practices. Season 6, Episode 7. Luxury Lounge is a 54-minute exhibit A, or exhibit L, I guess. Luxury Lounge is the episode in which Among other plot developments, Christopher, Michael Imperioli, and little Carmine, Ray Abruzzo, head to Los Angeles to try to cast their gangster slasher flick, Cleaver. and try in vain to get Sir Ben Kingsley, playing himself, to agree to take the lead role. These attempts include pitching him in the regular fashion, badly And then, when that fails, just running into Kingsley in an elevator and trying to intimidate him. Kingsley, both annoyed and afraid. deflects their attention onto the insane gift bag perks bestowed upon awards show presenters, which is how Chris and Murmur, Letty Vedito, end up mugging Lorne Bacall for her luxury lounge swag. Everyone involved, including the viewer, probably hopes that's the end of it, but no. As everyone is filing into the first class section of the flight home Kingsley spots Chris and Murmur already in their seats and smirking at the Variety headline about the robbery. Kingsley smiles tightly in their direction, then takes his own seat. But his assistant, Sarah, Abigail Marlowe, probably shouldn't get too comfy in her seat, clip one Clip: [40:11] I had no idea. I'd have put another flight. Fuck. Sarah: [40:18] This line delivery makes 98% of its own case for the tiny cannon, but just in case. I am pitching it because it's also the peak of a vanity-free performance from air quote Sir Ben, who was not knighted for no reason. because it is not easy to impress me with an iteration on television swearing, but Kingsley bucking did it, and because Dave Bunting Junior and I are incapable of not correcting to this pronunciation of the swear, repeating it fifteen times. debating how it should be spelled on text and giggling for twenty minutes. So I hope that you will book Ben Kingsley's FOC, a first class ticket to the Extra, Extra Hot Grate, Tiny Line Delivery Canon. Tara: [41:01] Thank you, Sarah. Dave, what are your thoughts? Dave: [41:05] I mean, really Quick and simple. I watched the clip and I didn't quite know what it was because I haven't watched Episode Sopranos in ever. And fuck. I can't even reproduce it. Tara: [41:17] Fuck. Dave: [41:17] I laughed out loud for a while and started giggling. I had like a two-minute giggle fit. So, I mean, that is why I'm voting it in. Sarah: [41:24] Made the sailboard, didn't it? Dave: [41:25] Excellent line delivery. So very dry and so very funny. And that's it. Tara: [41:32] Yeah, I agree. And I can confirm I did hear Dave laughing. I don't think he heard me because I watched it last night. But yeah, it is so, it's so funny. I also shouts for the look that he gives Chrissy because it's, So opaque and yet eloquent, like just the number of emotions washing over him is it's also gorgeous. But the what really makes the scene is that fuck. It's so it's so incredible and so memorable. And I did remember it as soon as the scene started. So Excellent choice. Dave: [42:03] Yeah, really great. All right, let's make this official Tara Ariana. What say you to the canon-worthiness, tiny canon-worthiness of this line delivery? Tara: [42:11] Fuck, yes. Dave: [42:13] Me too. So from the Sopranos, you are hereby inducted into the extra hot great tiny line delivery cannon. Clip: [42:25] Fuck one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. Dave: [42:36] Get it out of the way, not quite winners and losers of the week. It is time to present our not quite top 11 lists. I will go first. With my not quite top 11 cartoon villains who would absolutely have a podcast year in 2025. Number one, Cobra Commanders, the hiss list. Which is sort of like a burned book kind of thing from People He Hates. Episode number one entitled Baroness Isn't Returning My Calls. Villain number two, Skeletor. His podcast is called Bone to Pick, and episode one is called The Power of Grayskull is Just Privilege. Number three, Megatron is the Decepticast. Episode one, I'm not yelling, I'm leading. Number four, Mumroz, wrap it up. He's the bad guy from Thundercats. Episode one, moisturize me, ancient spirits. That's right. It's a beauty podcast. Venger from Dungeons and Dragons has Failing Forward Lessons from a Natural One. Episode one is Summoning My Issues. Next villain up is Mojo Jojo, the show of Mojo Jojo that you are listening to right now, the show being the show of Mojo Jojo, episode one, which is the First episode. Next villain up is the monarch. His episode is called Are These They for one of my favorite little bits from the Venture Brothers. Clip: [43:54] Gentlemen, choose your weapons. Is this them? Are these they? Who talks like that? Out of the way! I am the leader here. I will distribute the Are these they? Dave: [44:11] Episode one: Rusty Venture is aging terribly, yes? Next villain's podcast is called In the Shredder with Shredder. First episode is Joy Bayhard. Next podcast is Male Health After 60 with Dr. Claw. Episode number one, Get Mad About Magnesium. And finally, Gargamal Smurf This Shit. Episode one, Papa Smurf Owes Me Rent. Tara: [44:39] Nice. Dave: [44:40] Thank you. Sarah de Bunding, what do you got? Sarah: [44:42] I've got not quite 11 rejected subtitles for the unmade Cleaver 2 sequel. Number one, Cleaver 2, Cleavist. Number two, Cleaver Two, disrespecting the pizzeria. Number three, Cleaver Two, From Where to Eternity. Number four, Cleaver Two, Gaba Goo Number five, Cleaver two, H2, oh Number six, Cleaver two, the Lord will in fact take you now Number seven, Cleaver Two, Mancid Lamps. Number eight, Cleaver Two, Sad Clown Number nine, Cleaver Two, Strong Silent Type and Number ten, Cleaver Two, That That city called Atlantic. Dave: [45:29] And then after I said based success, it's going to be Cleaver to the director's chop. Sarah: [45:35] Mm-hmm. Dave: [45:36] Thanks. Sarah: [45:36] Yep. Tara: [45:37] I have the not quite top 11 other most forcing worthy William Shatner performances of the 1970s from his Dave: [45:45] Interested. Tara: [45:47] I should specify William Shatner TV guest star gigs of the 1970s. Sarah: [45:48] I'm listening. Tara: [45:52] These are in chronological order. Number one, from February 13th, 1970, name of the game is the show. Tarot is the episode. Soon after talking to Glenn Howard, that's a series regular, a young woman dies, seemingly by suicide, but when Glenn discovers her links to a coven of modern-day witches, he becomes suspicious that she was murdered. This episode was directed by Nicholas Coach from Cheers Colesanto, who I didn't know ever directed anything outside of Columbo, so that's interesting. Number two. From November 27, 1970, the show is the FBI. The episode is Antennae of Death. Erskine and Colby seek to apprehend Arthur Majors, a fugitive who is now part of a Los Angeles-based. Drug ring. Shatner plays majors, and you better believe he is sweaty as hell in the thumbnail on IMDb. Number three from September 12, 1971. The show is Owen Marshall, Counselor at Law. The episode is A Pattern of Morality. A successful lawyer defends a hippie accused of murdering a wealthy housewife. Shatner plays D. A. Dave. Blankenship. Number four, from November 7th, 1971, the show is Cades County. The episode is The Armageddon Contract. Everybody loves Jack Pilgrim, that's Shatner, a model citizen of Madrid City. The trouble is that Sam Cade gradually finds out this angel is in fact a fiend. Nobody else is aware that this good man is a mole on the payroll of an enemy country who has been assigned to a sabotage mission. Number five from September twenty sixth, nineteen seventy two. Hawaii Five O is the show. You don't have to kill to get rich, dash, but it helps. A sophisticated operation is blackmailing rich and prominent visitors to Hawaii. Private investigator Tolliver Shatner tells his friend he'll work to get him free of the blackmailers. Shatner is Tolliver emoting so hard in the thumbnail. Number six from February 4th, 1973, Barnaby Jones. Barnaby Jones to Catch a Dead Man is the episode. A millionaire sets up a bomb in his boat to fake his death. Barnaby is contacted by the girlfriend of the boat. Captain is in air quotes for some reason to investigate what happened. Number seven from February 18th, 1973, Mannix. Search for a whisper. Joe Mannix is hired by wealthy businessman Adam Langer. That's Shatner. To dig up enough dirt on a politician to destroy the man's career, but the target is Langer himself. Obviously, doing opo research before that was a thing everybody knew about. Mannix initially finds some mildly damaging information on Langer, but becomes concerned as the witnesses he has interviewed start to meet violent deaths. Number eight from February 4th, 1974, The Magician is the show. This is like a procedural where Bill Bixby is a magician. The episode is The Illusion of the Queen's Gambit. Sarah: [48:47] No thanks. Dave: [48:49] That show was one of the X Files inspirations, if I remember right. Tara: [48:52] Ah, okay. Tony is performing on board the Queen Mary when masked robbers interrupt his act. Sarah: [48:55] Oh, really? Tara: [48:58] His friend Ed Cassidy, Shatner, is blamed for the robbery and Tony Blake sets out to prove his innocence. Number nine from September 21st, 1974, Kung Fu, a small beheading is the episode. A swashbuckling Sea Captain and his wife involve Kane in a macabre plot to return him to China and certain death. I would mainly want to talk about this one because Shatner's character is called. Captain Brandywine Gage. And number 10 from October 4th, 1974. Dave: [49:27] Wow. Tara: [49:30] That's right. All of these episodes are older than me. The show is called Kodiak. The episode is The Last Enemy. Cal finds himself in a dangerous situation when he tries to help an old friend. That's Shatner. The man, a Vietnam veteran, thinks he's back in a war zone when some dynamite goes off and he arms himself. So, this is some First, blood shit, but Chatner is Stallone. You're welcome. Dave: [49:54] Wow How about Sarah: [49:55] That's sure to be a subtle meditation on PTSD. Tara: [50:00] Indeed. Sarah: [50:00] Oh, God. Dave: [50:01] This should have been the basis of a mini series from us as some sort of perk. It sounds amazing. Tara: [50:06] Well, we still can do it. Dave: [50:08] Yeah. Tara: [50:15] Welcome back in, Grandpas. The chatinaria you missed is deep and thick and sweaty. Dave: [50:22] Legion. Tara: [50:25] We also answered some of your questions about things like what we'd invent a parade for and which other T V cocktails we would make inspired by the example The Flora's Guava. Sarah made a pitch that was fucking undeniable for a line delivery in the Sopranos. So kick up that pledge if you can, and you can hear all of this and all of the previous episodes. That preceded this one. Extrahotgreat. com. Dave: [50:51] It's the start of a new year. Tara: [50:53] That's right. It's the start of a new year. Dave: [50:55] Why not? Tara: [50:56] Why not? Dave: [50:57] Make a change. Tara: [50:57] Treat yourself. Dave: [50:58] Yeah. Tara: [50:58] Today's extra credit topic comes from me. We are power ranking the cast of the good place. 2026, the year we are now in, marks the 10th anniversary of the good place premiere. That was not in January, but you know, what are you, a cop? Let's check out where everyone has ended up since then. And we are covering all of the series regulars and two frequent guests, Mark Evan Jackson and Jason Manzoukis. Let's go down the list. And see where everyone ended up. We're going to start with Kristen Bell. I'll go first and then we'll do Sarah, then Dave. So I have her at surprise, number one with eight points. She's a Disney princess. Nobody wants this has made her newly relevant and reminded the world that she can do comedy. She produced Nobody Wants This. She has also produced a ton of her other starring vehicles. And I'll just say the best thing she could do for her career at this point would be divorce Dax Shepherd and reinvent herself as the office Tina Turner, as it were, because all the most annoying ass Of her public persona are DAX-related, in my opinion, but that's a side note. So, yeah, Kristen Bell, number one with eight points. Sarah. Sarah: [52:07] Yeah, nobody wants this. Disney princess, Veronica Mars, continuing goodwill. She and Dak Shepherd either need to not be married anymore or find different ways to conduct this marriage publicly. A reliable source who works with them in a non-industry capacity says that this is not how they like they're normal in life. Tara: [52:28] Hmm. All right. Sarah: [52:29] So I don't know why they can't stop being like this in public, but they should stop. Tara: [52:33] Yeah. Sarah: [52:35] But that didn't affect my ranking. There were just a couple of people that I thought came in a little bit ahead of Kristen Bell, but it was pretty tight at the top. And you know, I'll always love Veronica Mars. So, yeah, she's my number three, which is six points. Dave. Dave: [52:50] Well, I mean, if we're meddling in her life, why not just go one step forward and have her kill her husband? Tara: [52:56] Yeah, that's the real Office Gina Turner move. Sarah: [52:57] Sure. Then she's real true crime, and then I yeah, 100% number one with a bullet, as it were. Dave: [53:06] I agree that she is near the top, but not quite the top. She is obviously still relevant. She's got her own series, but I think there's one That tops her. So for me, she's sliding it at number two for seven points. Tara: [53:19] Okay. Next up, William Jackson Harper. He played cheaty. I have him at sixth place with three points. In our timeline as we're recording this, he is currently being absolutely squandered in season four of The Morning Show. Sarah: [53:34] I thank you, God. Tara: [53:34] I mean, Truly, such a letdown from that opening scene where we see him on stage, and then it's like, and then what? Anyway, he hasn't headlined on TV since season two of Love Life, which I wish had gotten him more attention because it was really good. If you missed it. When it was on HBO for a while before they yanked it, even though it was their original show. You can watch it on Netflix now. PSA for you. Skip the first season with Anikendrick. She is very annoying. He has TV stuff lined up, including the TV adaptation of the podcast American Hostage with John Hamm. But I think he's mostly a theater guy and seems to be working there steadily on Broadway and elsewhere. Yeah, six with three points. Sarah. Sarah: [54:16] I think he is working and doing work he wants to do. Tara: [54:20] Yeah. Sarah: [54:20] I just am not seeing much of it. So my putting him last is not a knock on him or on his career choices. I just feel like he is not in front of my face as much as I would like. The morning show is emblematic of that. He probably would not agree, and that's fine, but someone had to be eighth, and it is he. One point. Dave: [54:44] Yeah, I put him at fifth or four points. I think he's right now Like on the precipice of either I'm going to get a few more leading roles, or I never again will get leading roles, and I'll always be the second or third or whatever. Sarah: [54:58] That could be. Dave: [54:59] It feels like he's at That moment in his career. Like he needs something to really stick in order to get his Q rating up, whatever we're dealing with these days. I would like IMDB to have a filter where it can filter out voice acting. Tara: [55:13] Yeah. Sarah: [55:13] Yeah, agree. Dave: [55:13] Because there's so many credits where it's like, oh, this guy's working all the time. Oh, cartoon, cartoon, cartoon, cartoon, cartoon, cartoon. Tara: [55:19] Yeah. Dave: [55:20] That's great, get paid. Sarah: [55:20] Yeah, for sure. Dave: [55:22] I probably wouldn't recognize your voice if I was watching it. Your voice isn't distinctive enough, but you know, that's the way. Tara: [55:26] Yeah. Sarah: [55:27] Right. Dave: [55:28] We cast voiceovers now, but I would like to see that excise from the list so I can see how much on-screen credits he has easily. But from what I'm seeing, he's getting work, but it's not like great. Like his morning show role, you nailed it. It's just like squandered. Tara: [55:45] Yeah. Dave: [55:46] What does he play? Oh, he plays a guy that loves AI news. It's like, all right. Tara: [55:49] Yeah. Dave: [55:50] That's his deal. Yeah, pretty much. That's what he does. And he doesn't really have another function. Like, he never really gets into it with anybody. He's always short-circuited by an executive or something like that. Tara: [56:01] Yeah. I mean, it's possible that there's You know, there's going to be a big twist at the end of the season that we, in our timeline, as we're recording this, we haven't seen this yet, but for the first half plus of this season, it's been pretty grim. Dave: [56:05] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sarah: [56:12] Yeah. Tara: [56:12] Speaking of Pretty Grimm, next up, Jamila Jamil. I have her ranked seventh with two points. I think she is, you know. For a while, she was using her good place fame to become one of our most clown-ass celebrity scolds in the landscape. I think of her mostly as a podcaster at this point. I feel that would be fine. As a level for her, but she does work on screen. It just hasn't been anything I've watched in quite a while. I think the last thing I've seen her in was her couple of episodes of SHIELD. which was years ago at this point. She has, I think, at least finally learned to let some viral stories go by without commenting on them. So I applaud that growth, but I still only gave her two points here. Sarah. Sarah: [56:53] I had her in sixth, three points. She, at this timeline, is turning forty next month, and I think that we all need to brace. for her to work through that in a very public influencerish way to the detriment of all. Tara: [57:09] Yeah. Sarah: [57:11] But I think she is where she is interested in being. I agree that her must have take Has eased off a bit, which is good. She was in a poker face. She's not as annoying to me, but she's also not doing a ton of stuff that I am seeing. So, kind of in the squishy lower middle for me. Dave: [57:32] What was the controversy that I'm trying to recall from like six, seven years ago that she was? Tara: [57:36] She made claims about her health that people had questions about. Dave: [57:41] Okay, I thought there was something else. Anyway, she's really annoying. Tara: [57:44] Yeah, she is. Dave: [57:45] I don't particularly care for her, and I don't think she's doing what she wants. I think she wants a lot more for herself, but it's not getting it anymore. Because I think she has a reputation of being like hard to work with or just like not stable. I don't mean that like mentally, but I just mean like as an organism on set, I feel like her Twitter leavings. Have sort of skewed that, not in her favor. So I don't think she's getting great work, and I'm not sad about it. Tara: [58:11] Yeah. Dave: [58:15] So, last one point. Tara: [58:17] Woo, okay. Next up, Darcy Cardin. I have her at fourth place with five points. She is coming into her own as a character comedian, but she also expanded her range this year. She was in the final season of The Handmaid's Tale. She was a spy undercover as an aunt, which was pretty good. She is about to co-headline an Australian sitcom with Will Forte and every funny supporting actor we've seen on every Australian sitcom we've ever watched that looks really funny. It's called. Sunny nights, I think. It's like a tanning booth comedy. I'm not sure, but I'm interested. She, I think, is rising fast and she's making things happen for herself in an exciting way. So, yeah, five points. Sarah. Sarah: [58:58] My fellow giraffes love her. She has done enough prestige guest and recurring stuff, and of course, doing the Huge range of voiceover stuff that all of these folks seem to do. I didn't stick with A League of Their Own, but I liked her in it. She has good range. She's like stealth. Hot in that way that some funny people are, where, like, you you could kind of like plug them in unexpectedly. Like, they can pinch hit as the romantic, like, foxy. Person and not have any funny lines. Putting her fifth with four points might seem like I don't dig her, and I definitely do. And but like in the middle there, it was like tiny gradations, and she ended up behind someone else. So, yeah, Dave. Dave: [59:43] Yeah, I really liked her in the good place. She is one of the best additions to that cast, I think. And I would love to have her higher than six, but that's where I put her. I might have put her lower except for the fact that she is diversifying, which is good news for her career and the fact that people can choose her for more projects. So six with three points, and I would love to see a lot more from her. Not a reflection on my love for her. Tara: [1:00:06] Yeah, I think we can all agree on that. Dave: [1:00:09] Sarah, do you concur? Sarah: [1:00:11] Yeah, I just said I did. Dave: [1:00:12] All right. You have to say I concur. Sarah: [1:00:13] In those words. Thanks for listening, Dave. Tara: [1:00:15] All right. Next, we have Manny Yacinto. I have him third with six points. He is, I believe I am on the record with this, hotter than a supernova. Co-starred in Freakier Friday, the best movie of twenty twenty five. He is getting to do interesting projects. I would say The Acolyte was around the middle of Star Wars T V shows, but he was One of the best things about it, I feel. And if I put him any lower than this, he might get mad and cut someone with his cheekbones. And I can't have that on my conscience. So, six points for Manny Acinto. Sarah. Sarah: [1:00:48] I have him in seventh with two points, and it really, I'm so sorry. I, as soon as I saw Freakier Friday, I was like, I think Tara and I might be in a fight for this ranking. It just like he is also, I would say, stealth hot, like in good place, but then you see pictures of him in anything else, and you're like, wow, they really buried that lead, but good. Tara: [1:01:01] Yeah. Sarah: [1:01:10] He might have been my favorite character, actually. Just the commitment to having him just be this particular Jacksonville dumb, and he was so good at it. But he just hasn't been in stuff that I personally have seen. And it seemed like Jamila Jamil's capering around to get attention actually was slightly more effective than his. Happy to be told I'm wrong, but still only got two points from me. Dave. Dave: [1:01:39] The acolyte is the Star Wars equivalent of motion smoothing on your T V. You watch it, you're like, this doesn't seem right. Like, I recognize that it's Star Wars, but it just doesn't feel right. But he was the most interesting thing in that shitty show. So, I give him points for that. I love if they could just pick, they're never going to, because that's, you know, that's radioactive now, I think. But If they could pick that character up and just give him his own side project or stick him in something else that it makes sense for that character to be in, then I would like to watch that. I agree with Sarah. I thought he was probably the best thing about The Good Place, and he didn't start out that way. Like when it started, I found that character a little annoying, but then They sort of like kept on stacking things on him, and he became more and more interesting. Sarah: [1:02:29] Yeah. Dave: [1:02:31] And he carried that very well, I thought. So, I think he should be way more famous than he is. Sarah: [1:02:34] Yeah, agree. Tara: [1:02:37] Yeah, oh, yeah. Dave: [1:02:38] Like, because he is a smokeshow, right? Sarah: [1:02:38] Mm-hmm. Agree. Dave: [1:02:41] Like, that guy can get it. Sarah: [1:02:41] Mhm. Yeah. Dave: [1:02:43] So, I put him at fourth, but I would love to see him move up the ranks. So, fourth with five points for me. Tara: [1:02:48] Great. Next up, Ted Danson, of course, played Michael. I have him second place for with Seven points. The only reason he's not number one for me is that as of this episode drop, he just turned 78. In fact, he could be dead by the time it comes out. Hang in there, Ted, I'm touching wood. He's achieved National Treasure status. He's still doing great, vital work. He has not just become a living site gag in his later years, like some people do, Betty White. So, yeah, I think he's the best. And only second best on this list because, you know, he's old. Sarah. Sarah: [1:03:23] I had him in the same place and it actually like I was like, should he be this high up? At the last minute, he was replaced by someone else, but it wasn't an age thing. His part of the Good Place finale during which I sobbed, like I sobbed through most of it, but his part in it definitely was where I was crying the hardest. The forward ripple to Man on the Inside and certain choices that he made with that role. I'm getting a little emotional talking about it. He really is wonderful and can do so many more things. Than I think we understood, like 20 years ago or 25 years ago, and is still hot. Tara was right. All along. I laughed at this initially when we first knew each other, but um I uh was incorrect. Number two, seven points. Dave: [1:04:10] Ted Dansett is my number one, and here's why. I think he's working only when he wants to, and when he wants to, he's getting pretty big things. He could like either be like in curb, you know, sort of like the primary guest star, or second, I guess, after Lewis. Sarah: [1:04:18] Mhm. Mm-hmm. Dave: [1:04:24] And then he like disappears to be an old man for a while. And it comes, like, I don't think he's seeking the work. He's obviously got more money than God at this point. Tara: [1:04:30] Mm. I would agree, except he has a podcast, I guess. Dave: [1:04:34] Yeah, but everybody has a podcast. It's easy money, right? Like they're not doing the legwork to make money. Somebody's just paying them $100,000 to do it, and they hope to make it up. Tara: [1:04:41] I guess you're right. You're right. Sarah: [1:04:43] They're sent a Yeti mic and paper instructions and they just sit there. Dave: [1:04:45] Yeah, exactly. Yep. Sarah: [1:04:48] Yeah, it's not a big deal. Dave: [1:04:49] The one knock against him recently, I would say, is that he's in a commercial for some like eighth-tier Cellulator company I saw an ad for the other day, Consumer Cellator, which Tara: [1:04:58] Yeah, it's for old people, uh-huh. Dave: [1:04:59] I was going to say, it feels like one of those one-button phones. Tara: [1:05:02] Yeah. Dave: [1:05:02] Or is it boop? Sarah: [1:05:03] Mhm. Dave: [1:05:03] You know, I was like, eh, help. Sarah: [1:05:06] Tide your belt. Dave: [1:05:06] So with. I mean, only because, well, I mean, again, make your money, dude. But I think all those commercials always cheapen your brand, but also it makes you seem older. Than you are. And he's an old guy, but doing those kind of things, you know, like the clapper or life alert or uh, what's the one Sam Watterson does? Um, you know, the old Tara: [1:05:26] Robot insurance. Dave: [1:05:26] Robot insurance. Oh, he doesn't do real insurance, does he? Who am I thinking of? Alex Trebek doing the constitutional insurance. Tara: [1:05:33] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dave: [1:05:33] I forget what it was, something like that. Colonial, I think, maybe. Tara: [1:05:35] Mm-hmm. Dave: [1:05:36] Anyways, with that aside. Sarah: [1:05:36] Yeah. You could be dying and will still sell your life insurance. Like, well, that's great, Joe Namath and Alex Trebeck. Dave: [1:05:41] Yeah. Yeah. Here's your payout: thirty-seven dollars. Yeah. So, my number one, eight points. Tara: [1:05:48] Great. Dave: [1:05:48] And we miss them. Perhaps. Tara: [1:05:51] Perhaps. Hopefully not. That's what I should. Sarah: [1:05:52] Guys, oh my god, lay down on some wood. Dave: [1:05:55] I was surprised that Woody Harrison went before him, though. He's so much younger. Tara: [1:06:00] Next, Mark Evan Jackson. He played Sean, another demon. I have him in last place with one point. And again, it's not a reflection of how much I like him. He popped up in three episodes of Man on the Inside. So Michael Scher, the creator of The Good Place, still likes him, which is great. We are in our timeline rewatching Brooklyn 9-9, and it makes Me reappreciate what he brought to the role of Kevin Cosner, Acton Holt's husband. He has, I would say, a narrow lane of performance. But he owns that lane, but it is narrow, and he may have done almost all he can. Dave: [1:06:34] We call him the Dry Quipper. Tara: [1:06:37] Very dry, erudite, well-spoken, tall, white guy who's a little bit balding on top. Dave: [1:06:41] Yep. Tara: [1:06:43] He's still around. We still see him, but when I looked him up, he did not have anything upcoming, and that concerns me. Sarah. Sarah: [1:06:49] I had him higher than you, but for the same reasons. I had him number four. Five points. He just has a squillion credits. It's all variations on hey, it's that no-lipped colonel/slash authority figure quippy guy. Tara: [1:07:03] Mm-hmm. Sarah: [1:07:04] He is apparently a go-to and really well regarded, and yeah, the lane is narrow, but nobody else gets to Drive it if Mr. Jackson, if we're nasty, wants to be on the road that day. So you got to respect that, and I do for fourth place. Dave. Dave: [1:07:20] Yeah, I totally agree with everything Sarah just said. Like, if you need that character, he is your guy, and he'll do it because that's all he does. But there's just not a lot of it. So for the same reasons as Sarah, but I'm not putting that much weight behind it and going seven with two points. Tara: [1:07:37] Okay. Finally, Jason Manzukas, who played Derek, maximum Derek. I have him fifth for four points. As we've discussed at length, he got himself on Taskmaster, which is one of the coolest things that a comic actor can do in our time. He has mostly transitioned into voice acting and podcasting now, but we see him now and then. As we have said about a lot of these people, I think he really seems to work as much as he cares to. Dave: [1:08:03] Yeah. Tara: [1:08:03] And Dave: [1:08:03] He was also in John Wick, which is like, you know, like world's largest current action franchise with Jason Manzouk is in multiple of them. Tara: [1:08:05] Yeah, so random. It's true. Dave: [1:08:13] Yeah. Tara: [1:08:13] Yeah. By the time this comes out, we will have seen him in season two of A Man on the Inside. I think it's nice that these guys work with each other. So much. Darcy Cardin also had a cameo on Man on the Inside, and she did four episodes of Nobody Wants This. So, whatever happened on that set, they're all still really tightly knit. Dave: [1:08:28] They all fucked big good place orgy every night. Tara: [1:08:28] And I think that's nice. Sarah: [1:08:33] I just think it's neat. Tara: [1:08:35] I do. Sarah: [1:08:36] Um, orgy aside, I have loved this guy since he had that absolutely disgusting line on the league, which I think that's the first gif I ever made. Where he's in Nick Kroll's character's bathroom talking about how annoying it is to wipe his butt after pooping with that hand towels in there. He's like, it just spreads everything around like peanut butter, and Nick Kroll's Physical, like he just cringes into like a coil and is so disgusted. It's so gross and evocative. And ever since then, every time I see the Zook, I'm like, oh, peanut butter poop, dude. From the league. He never disappoints. He has done a bunch of prestige VO, I would say, versus like whatever fourth rate anime that you don't even know what it is. He voiced Tommy Lee's penis and a B in Dickinson. His drunk histories were among my favorites. I just think he has juice right now, so I put him number one Tara: [1:09:33] Mm-hmm. To clarify, he did not voice Tommy Lee's penis in Dickinson. He that was in Pam Tommy. Sarah: [1:09:41] You know what? You could have just left that because I really would have enjoyed people being like, Do we correct her? Like, she knows that, right? It was just an unclear antecedent. Tara: [1:09:50] Yeah. Sarah: [1:09:51] Yes, I am aware that those were two different projects. Although, if the bee from Dickinson had flown into Tommy Lee's penis, like someone make that happen in animation, and then Manzukas can just voice all of the parts. Dave: [1:10:04] Yeah. Yeah, I put him third, which probably is a little high given like The kind of work he's been doing recently, which is a lot of voice work, but he's always working, and I think he has an immense amount of goodwill in the industry. Tara: [1:10:18] Oh, yeah. Mhm. Sarah: [1:10:19] Yeah. Dave: [1:10:19] And I think the reason why he does so much VO work is he's really, really good at it. Tara: [1:10:24] Yes. Dave: [1:10:24] Like, yes, he has a very distinctive voice, and you can tell when it's Jason Manzukas, but. He has a distinctive voice, and you can tell when it's Jason Manzuka's, which is what you're paying for. Tara: [1:10:34] Mhm. Sarah: [1:10:34] Mm-hmm. Dave: [1:10:34] You know, big mouth or whatever. Sarah: [1:10:35] Yeah. Dave: [1:10:36] Like, oh, that's him, and he's really good at it, and I enjoy him. Tara: [1:10:36] Yeah. Dave: [1:10:39] Please put him in more things. Hollywood obliges because it makes them money too. So I would like to see him in more live action stuff because I think he excels everywhere. And then when you do a voiceover, you don't get to see his face acting, which is fantabulous. So, I wish more from him, but I agree with Sarah. I think he does still have quite a man of juice here. So, power ranking-wise, I'm putting him at third. Sarah: [1:11:00] Yeah. Dave: [1:11:02] That might be a little hopeful for him. Maybe he should be fourth or fifth, but I'm going to give it to him: six points. Tara: [1:11:07] Okay, well, I have tabulated all of our numbers. I talked to a dolphin, they confirmed, and here we go. Dave: [1:11:13] Yeah. Oh, by the way, Sarah, happy new year. Sarah: [1:11:19] Fucking mm Tara: [1:11:21] In last place, eighth place with six points, Jamila Jamil. Clip: [1:11:27] Fucking fire. Sarah: [1:11:27] You're you're welcome. Tara: [1:11:29] In seventh place with eight points, we have Mark Evan Jackson. In sixth place with eleven points, William Jackson Harper. In fifth place with twelve points, We've got Darcy Cardin. In fourth place with 13 points, we have Manny Yacinto. Third place, bronze medal with 18 points, Jason Manzoukas. Second place with 21, Kristen Bell. And in first place with 22 points, you know him. You love him. I feel like this all shook out the way it should. Ted Danson. Dave: [1:12:05] Wow. With the exception of Harper and Cardin, I had that exact lineup. Tara: [1:12:05] We did it. Mm-hmm. Yep. Dave: [1:12:11] Yep. Sarah: [1:12:12] Wow, nice. Dave: [1:12:12] Neat. What do I win? Nothing. Tara: [1:12:15] What do you want? Dave: [1:12:16] I don't know. Tara: [1:12:17] Happy New Year. Dave: [1:12:18] All right. Thanks. That is it for another episode of Extra. Extra hot grate. We all leap real high at the chance to watch William Shatner talk to dolphins on the $6 million man. Before answering your burning ask EHG questions, like, what reality show is destroying a car and who's the worst TV brother? Ben Kingsley delivered a tiny cannonworthy line for Sarah D. Bunting. We presented the not quite top eleven Cartoon Villain Podcast. Cleaver sequel subtitles and other shat guest star roles. We may be yet. Forced to watch. We wrap it all up with a look at a power ranking of the cast of the Good Place. Next up, more twenty twenty six content, because it is definitely at the moment I'm saying these words. Twenty twenty six, RIP three quarters of the cast of cheers. Remember. Clip: [1:13:16] We're listening. Ah! Dave: [1:13:18] I am David T. Cole, and on behalf of Tari Ariano and Sarah Debunting. Tara: [1:13:23] Steve and I are going up with the dolphin, and you're not going to stop us. Sarah: [1:13:29] I am a ham burning, burning. Dave: [1:13:32] By the way, happy New Year, Sarah. Thanks for listening. Sarah: [1:13:35] Happy New Year, Dave. Dave: [1:13:35] We'll see you next time right here on Extra, Extra Lockright. Clip: [1:13:47] Hello. Just a moment, please. For you. Thank you. Hello? Hey, I've been leaving messages all over the place for you. Great, but uh well, whatever you say. I'm on my way. This is Extra Hot Great Minis. Today's topic is World's Bitchiest Genie. Hello. Today's mini is brought to you by me. I have decided to task the group with the following question. You are gifted by the world's bitchiest genie with the power to decree. That one individual never wins an Emmy or another Emmy for the rest of their life. Choose strategically, choose wisely. Tara, you begin. Oh, this was so easy for me. The only thing I had to check was just to confirm that she actually had one. And in fact, she has one. Oh, I know. She has one too. So I am going to gift this to six-time nominee, two-time winner for the role of Claire Dunphy. Julie motherfucking Bowen will never step foot on that stage ever, ever, ever again. Mark. You know, mine is going to someone who I actually love, but I just feel with six Emmys, she's done enough, and that's Julia Louis Dreyfus. I think she's great, but I think it's time to let someone else get up there. Fair enough. Well chosen. This was a tough one because there were a bunch of people that I would like to that I wanted to say, but then I was like, you know what? I don't actually hate this actor. I just Like this role is driving me crazy, or this show shouldn't be, and yeah, dodo smash. Anyway, so I wanted to say Jim Parsons, but I really only feel that way about his winning for Sheldon on Big Bang Theory. His delivery of Come On Blanche in the Normal Heart was everything, and it should be my ringtone, actually. Yeah, good point. So, I just need that garbage time show to get canceled today. Since that is not happening, Patricia Heaton, by I just say your face. So I had my original pick for this, I had Julie Bowen, sort of like. Circled and with a box around the circle. And then I realized that, like, there's no way Tara's not picking Julie Bowen. You need to find backup. So I did. He's already won, I believe, one Emmy. And every time he does some dumb little Netflix show, they nominate him. For best actor in a comedy, because those pick-ins tend to be slim, just to play it safe, just so Derek doesn't end up winning an Emmy, Ricky Gervais. You shall never win an Emmy. So smart. If I have anything to say about it, good coffee. This is Extra Hot Great Minis. Today's topic is Normal Genie Scenario. Hi, everyone. So, based on yesterday's topic, in which we discussed the power to make sure no one ever wanted Emmy again, I am spinning that off to say that now the same genie has decided to give us a second power, which is that we can retroactively provide an Apology Emmy to someone who should have won In the past, but did not. This person need not have even been nominated, but can now win an Emmy that is presented this year on the stage of the Emmys with full apologies from the Academy. It is also up to us to decide if the person Who did win that year gets their award revoked or not? And Joe Reed, I'd like to hear your thoughts. Odds are you've heard my thoughts because we've had this discussion before. That's 2003 Emmy Awards in the category of best supporting actress in a drama. Series. Murderers' Row lineup that included Stalker Channing on the West Wing, who won later on, so that's fine. Lena Olin on the second season of Alias, Lauren Ambrose on Six Feet Under, and Rachel Griffiths on Six Feet Under, all lost to Tyne Daly on Judging Amy, a show I didn't watch, and she was probably good on it. But at that point in her career, she had won eight bajillion Emmys from Cagney and Lacey. And I also feel like she was on some show called Christy that she also may have won an Emmy for. I can't remember. Tyne Daly wins Emmys. Like, that's sort of what she's here for. She was fine. As a result, Lauren Ambrose, Lena Olin, and Rachel Griffiths would go Emmy-less for the rest of their careers on those shows. And that shit ain't right. So I'm saying take it away from Tyne Daly and honestly flip a coin between those three women. Also, as a caveat, I will say Victor Garber never won an Emmy for his role on Alias. He was nominated three times. All the people who beat him were really good. John Spencer, Joe Pantiliano, and Michael Imperioli all won Emmys. So I will say that we don't revoke any of their Emmys, but we do give one to Victor Garber because that man has certainly earned it. Yeah. Good call. Tara. You are generous. Okay. Mine is a very recent history. Juliana Margulies has to give her 2014 Emmy that she won for lead actress in a drama for The Good Wife. to Robin Wright, who should have won that year for House of Cards, in my personal opinion. Granted, the next season of that show was not so hot, but season two was pretty good, and she also had to act like she wanted to have Any kind of sex with Kevin Spacey, which on its own should have won her the award. Peace and point, yeah. Sarah. Um, I will also be yanking one of Margolise's Emmys. Sorry, she doesn't actually have to give it back. She was good, but when she won in 2011. She should not have beaten Elizabeth Moss, who submitted the suitcase from Mad Men. It just was not it was not okay. Margalise was good. Moss was much better. Mm-hmm. Good point. Agree. Mark. So I, ironically enough, am also taking an Emmy away from Juliana Margulies. Sorry, girl. I believe that she was the only uh re regular cast member of ER to win an Emmy when she won the Emmy for Best Supporting Actress for ER in 1995. But I'm taking it away because I feel that the Emmy that year should have gone to the unnominated Bess Armstrong, who played Patty Chase in my so-called life. Yeah, It did get a nomination for Claire Daines. She did not win, which I'm okay with because she was only 15 at the time and whatever. But I feel that Bess Armstrong's performance as Patty was. Sensational and absolutely deserved Emmy attention, especially because that was the only season that show had. And When I was taking Juliana Margolis's Emmy away, I thought it would be okay because she would still have her good wife triumph. But now we've burned those two grounds as well. But guess what, girl? That's what you get when you fuck with Archie Panjabi, apparently. So, uh, that's it from me. Hello, Bess Armstrong. Wow, Juliana, who was the only main cast member of ER who won an Emmy, in fact? Sally Field won as a guest actress, but I don't think anyone. We can hear you. Just cut this out later. What's happening? We're just gonna have our own character whispering. No, Mark is giving his case. Can you guys not hear us? Trying to get them to stop on Skype, but not reading it. What's going on? Skype! This is Extra Hot Great Minis. Today's topic is Sexy Genie scenario. Today's topic is an extra credit, I think. From Ian Faye, whose sexy genie scenario is. Can I just say that I really enjoy the notion that we're just going to have. Various genie scenarios. Various genie scenarios once in a while. From now on, I'm into it. Uh-huh. Depressive genie scenario. Hobo genie. Chef GD scenario? Anyway, the sexy GD scenario is pretty much what you think it is. Turn any show into a premium cable erotic drama. Joe, why don't you start? So I decided I'm going to mash up all of the superhero shows on television into one Hardcore or I guess what I guess it's cable, so it's soft core, right? Fine. Softcore erotic drama. So everybody from Flash. and Gotham and Agents of Shield can all get together and take their shirts off and have well photographed sexual encounters with one another free from the bounds of the WB or of the CW and and Fox and ABC's censorship and well I'll be happier people. No squares. Sarah. I could not think of anything good. Like, either it was so obvious or it was so surreal that it didn't work. So I was in my office and I was like, all right. My husband is downstairs, up to no good with the History Channel, no doubt. So, whatever is on when I walk through the living room is what is going to become a sexy cable drama. So American Pickers Now is your time So yeah, I mean I don't really have anything to add to that. American Peckers. Yeah. They already drive the molester van. It could kind of be a did someone order a pizza? scenario whenever they arrive at someone's barn of hoarded shotkeys. Eve. Um so I think like most like TV sex stuff is sort of gross. I mean I I get light you guys I totally do and stuff but on TV it's always so yucky. But if I must, I would like to choose the television show Emergency. It ran from 1972 to 1979, which was probably, you know, Freud would say, my formative sort of sexual years. I remember being super into these guys. If you don't remember the show Emergency, because you're not a million years old like me. Oh, okay, so thank you. So the description is, the crew of Los Angeles County Fire Department Station 51, particularly the paramedic team, and Rampart Hospital, respond to emergencies in their operating area. Their operating area, you guys. Like ideal fodder for some sort of hot boy sexy time stuff that nothing does, you know, and so for sweeps. Because this is the 70s, you know, the week, or I know maybe we still have sweeps now. I have no idea. We can do a crossover with one of its contemporaries The six million dollar man. Well, I can't really top that, but uh my pick was elementary, a show I do not watch, but which is peopled with very attractive uh Actors Johnny Lee Miller, Lucy Lou, Aiden Quinn, and John Michael Hale, who plays the detective. And I know what you're thinking. Doesn't that mean John Noble is in the mix of some kind of orgy situation? No, he's only recurring starting next season, so no worries about. Wrinkly old man Flash in the mix. This one goes out to Joe's classmate, it's Alf, and he loves to eat those pussies. Oh, Joe! Now it's a free! Why did you? This is Extra Hot Great Minis. Today's topic is Slacker Genie scenario. All right, the genies. Keep on coming, guys. Today I'm asking our one, two, three, four panelists. A character meets a genie and makes a wish to be delivered the next day. They start to brag to everybody know and throw it in everybody's faces, only to have the genie sleep in and never make good on the wish. So I'm asking, what's the character, what's the wish, and what's the fallout, Tara Ariana. All right, well, on Broad City. Abby wishes for unlimited bed, bath, and beyond coupons. Except in this scenario, they can be combined with each other. Meaning, She's basically getting stuff for free. However, when she's filled three carts full of linens and kitchen gadgets and is waiting to check out, the genie never shows up. And because it's New York, the clerks are not trying to deal with her bullshit and make her restock everything herself. And because she's Abby, she does it. Sarah. Brandon Walsh wishes for an additional foot in height. There is no fallout, for it is Brandon. With the 17,156 times he has just through the middle of season four, so richly deserved a beatdown. Not a single one has been forthcoming. We'll all just learn a very important lesson about not trusting genies and then have to look at that tiny little fart knocker in his umbro over bike shorts athletic outfit, tinily shooting baskets with the Shawn Hardell. Yo. Wow. I am not going to be able to top them. This whole scenario just screamed to me that this was something that would happen to Richard Hendrix on Silicon Valley. I feel like it his simple wish would be that people would think that the name Pied Piper is cool, finally at long last. Um the fallout is nobody thinks it's cool and he probably gets another boss As tends to happen for him on that show. John? Well, in a bit of unanticipated synergy I too pick Richard from Silicon Valley. No! Nice! For obvious reasons, given every week on the show, he would wish to be immune from any potential embarrassment. In this scenario, he would Immediately published a lengthy manifesto sent wide on the superiority of tabs over spaces and Holocaust references. He thinks it'll be worth it to get his tab spaces message into the world. But when the genie sleeps in, he's stuck with being known as a formatting Nazi for life, and the show goes on as normal. This is Extra Hot Great Minis. Today's topic is Political Genie Scenario. So the Republican and Democratic National Conventions are coming up quickly, and neither Hillary Clinton nor Donald Trump has as of Record time announced a running mate yet. So, our old pal, the genie, is back for a political genie scenario. He has granted us all each one more wish to choose TV characters. As appropriate Veep candidates to run alongside Hillary and the Donald. Um, I guess I'm going first. So for Hillary, I had a few choices. I thought Diane Lockhart from The Good Wife is a no-brainer and I kind of wanted to just, like, leave her for somebody else to choose, because, like, somebody should choose her. I thought Doc Dr. Miranda Bailey from Gray's Anatomy, but I thought maybe she might be sort of too much of a heavy hitter in the Veep slot. Too many people would maybe hope to flip the ticket and Maybe have her elected by acclaim to the nomination at the convention. You don't want that. So I thought somebody with at least a little bit of a downside to her so that she'll stay in the Veeps a lot, but still would be amazing. Who better to have as your wartime consigliere than Red from orange is the new black. As for Trump, I was trying to do this strategically. I was like, do I want to like sink that ship somehow. I think mostly what I want to do is to find somebody who can make even Donald Trump question his own worth and finally have a less than glowing thought about himself. So I thought, Heather from Crazy X Girlfriend. If anybody could sarcastically crack that nut, I feel. So that's my choice. Allison, what about you? I feel like. If we're lucky and soon have a woman president named Hillary Clinton, please, Lord, we would be best served if she had someone backing her up. Who took no bullshit. And for that, I see best in the role, Elaine Bennis. Nice. I wouldn't let her have access to the red telephone or whatever, the emergency button, but still. And for Trump There's no one who could match his level of evil, but if we tried, we might put the Dick Cheney lookalike Montgomery Burns in that spot. All right. Love it. Tara, what's up? Okay. Well, I think Clinton needs someone to balance her ticket who's going to make her seem down-to-earth and relatable, but also have some kind of Bona fides in terms of being tough on crime, for example. So I think Joe Caputo from Orange is the New Black would be a huge price for her. Also, because he's going to seem like he's tough on crime, but he's actually secretly Kind of a pushover and also kind of craven, and we'll probably just do whatever she wants. But we'll look good next to her on a poster with his That mustache of his. For Trump, I think he's going to have to go with someone who's equally as much of a celebrity as him. So that would be, of course, an alumnus of the Celebrity Apprentice. Which, of course, would be Gary Busey because he can't have someone who is less crazy than him on the ticket. He's going to have to bounce it in the other direction. That is my choice. Sarah. For Hillary, I went with Heather Dunbar. Speaking of Elizabeth Marvel from House of Cards. I just thought it was time for Ms. Dunbar to finally, you know, get what she wanted in some way. Of course, what she really wants is to be president, but That's not her journey. Trump was a tough one. I was tempted to pair him with Sheriff John Pinnell. Speaking of not taking in any of his shit and having a very strong law and order stance. You know, sure, but in the end, that guy is the only person who can pull off these bozos in Congress. True. I'm gonna have to downvote criminals. But in the end, I went with Finn Tuchuola from SVU because Ice T's responses to racist perps are the best. And I feel like the ticket would last, I'm going to say, seventy two hours before he ripped Trump's leg off and beat him to death with it. Ain't a court in the land. Dave. For Hillary, because she has a lot of dubious problems with her IT, missing emails and putting classified information on easily accessible stuff. and somebody who can instantly call her on all her duplicitous lies and shit like that that she's done. We're going with Gilfoyle from Silicon Valley, who is a Satanist who will tell you the truth. Yeah. And for Trump to basically possibly Sync the campaign before it gets to November. We're going to go with Huck from Scandal. I almost said that, Dave. That's so good. Who probably has some things to say. About national security, walls in Mexico, and just generally being bat shit crazy. This is Extra Hot Grate Minis. Today's topic is Drunk Genie Scenario. Today, our challenge from our drunk genie is take an all ages TV hangout such as a restaurant, a coffee shop, what have you, and turn it into a bar. Which character turns into a problem drinker the fastest? Sarah, why don't you start us off? I'm going to take the diner on Seinfeld. Elaine often seems. To be drunk anyway. So I just feel like she'd be the one who'd be like, oh, like, you know, sometimes you're in a New York diner and you're like, they have beer in here. Yes. It's one of those things that you're like. Whoever gets the veal scallopini at the diner, and then you see the flood light, it's like, who what? Anyway, I just feel like she'd be like, well, let's try all the beers and see how old they are. And then. Seinfeldiness would ensue, Dave. Well, I'm going to go with the Max from Save by the Belt. Yeah. And you don't even need booze because Jesse's going to be drinking that coffee. And getting caffeine crazy. Sure. Sure. My I would think on Gilmore Girls, Luke's Get Its liquor license and Lorelei uses her close relationship with the owner to take advantage of what she terms a bottomless mimosa special and loses her in three weeks later.