Space: 1999 Comes For Us All

Clip 00:01 You must not touch my brain! Dave 00:23 This is the Extra Extra Hot Great Podcast, episode 430, our final installment of three of these for 2026. Clip 00:24 I don't think it's a big one. Dave 00:38 I am very dense object with a hint of human tissue, David T. Cole, and I'm here with stimulated cerebellum, Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah 00:47 What you call me Dave 00:48 And helmet label Tara Ariano Tara 00:50 Courtesy of Dymo Dave 01:04 Welcome everybody to our last three of these for the year. To remind you, we are talking about sci-fi of the 70s from Britain, which I haven't seen before, but I was curious about. That is our metric this year. We have talked about Doomwatch with their killer rats. We have talked about UFOs with their bending of the mines. And today, to wrap things up, we're going to be talking about Space 1999, which I'll admit. I didn't realize was British at the time of doing this. Season one, episode 21, SpaceBrain My first question to you, before we get into anything, I want to hear what you think better titles for this episode would be. Instead of Space Brain, probably would have wanted to call this what? Tara 01:49 Talking to computer Dave 01:50 Sarah? Sarah 01:51 Moon over my hammy. Dave 01:53 Okay. Good answers. Tara 01:55 Yeah. Dave 01:55 Not what I w would have went for, but I guess we can talk about it. Let's first do the Chen check-in. Should everybody watch this episode of Space 1999, Sarah D. Bunting? Sarah 02:07 Sh if you have to watch one, sure, why not this one? Dave 02:09 Yeah. Sarah 02:10 I was compelled, mostly Dave 02:16 All right. Well today's episode is Space 1999, season one, episode 21. Space brained it is from 1976. is from a lot of the people that also brought us UFO.same creator, same production company, I think. Tara 02:28 Yeah. Dave 02:31 Let me just set the table by giving you what my title of this episode would have been. Space spooge. Tara 02:37 Yeah. Dave 02:38 The episode is called Space spooge. Sarah 02:38 Mm-hmm. Dave 02:40 Great. I assume nobody's had previous experience with space nineteen ninety-nine. Tara 02:46 No, and I realized as it started that I have conflated it with Capricorn One probably my entire life. Like in my mind, made them one project. Dave 02:54 Yeah Sarah 02:55 I think I thought this was something in the Stargate verse. Dave 02:59 Hmm. I thought it was American because the leads, as we'll discover, are American. Tara 03:04 Mm-hmm. Dave 03:05 But it is British and that was a point of contention with the creator that they wanted British Lees, but they wanted to sell the show outside of Britain, so they said, how about not that? And so they got Martin Landau and Barbara Bain, who sounds like half of a good Batman villain. Tara 03:17 Mm-hmm. Dave 03:20 I'll chop this up to three parts. A lot of stuff happens in the cold open, and then we'll move on to being space spooged, and then finally to foam party. And then we'll be our act breaks. So this very much looks up its time. We're talking about the UFO sort of set dressing, their visual buttonry. Very familiar here. A lot of beiges and orange and black. for your visual enjoyment to quickly situate you in space nineteen ninety nine. In nineteen ninety nine, a Thermal nuclear detonation on the moon, propel the moon away from Earth. So basically the moon is a giant spaceship they can't control. Just drifting out in space further and further. This happened on september thirteenth, nineteen ninety nine, according to the chyron Never Forget nine thirteen. They are still a going concern. They still got ships. They still got uniforms. They still got everything beige just the way you like it. Tara 04:17 Oh my god, which looks bet good on no one Dave 04:20 Nobody. And we'll get into the fashion. So the cold open starts. Martin Landau's doing a jigsaw puzzle. Everybody's doing jigsaw puzzles. This is what they do on Moonbase Alpha. They just do jigsaw puzzles. And he announces quite proudly after very carefully putting in the last piece that he did it in under five hours. And everybody's like, oh, fucking great, man, under five hours. I didn't think anyone would get this maximum 800 piece puzzle done in under five hours? What kind of people are they hiring on Boom Base Alpha? Because it's not SmartyPants, I can tell you that. Tara 04:54 They're not going to be a little bit more. Dave 04:55 Landau is Commander John Koenig, not Koenig this time, and we start the episode properly after Puzzlegate. And he's trying to use the space video intercom, but it's just outputting gibberish hieroglyphics that look like today's LLMs trying to make real letters, but not quite doing it. Tara 05:15 Yeah. Dave 05:16 So he's just getting this alphabet slop on the monitors. By the way, as he's transitioning from his quarters into the main room during the mysterious symbols, did you notice that he walks up to the door? It doesn't open for him. He has to pull out this poor sod, pull out a remote control out of his utility belt, point it at the door, press a button, then the door opens for him Tara 05:34 Yes. Dave 05:39 This is after Star Trek. Tara 05:40 Mm-hmm. Dave 05:41 What are we doing? Tara 05:42 Yeah. Very impractical. Dave 05:44 Yeah. All the top officers of Moonbase and all their various specialities are fussing with their equipment as it all goes haywire, similar to his video intercom. All the top officers of Moonbase are fussing with their equipment as things are starting to go haywire. When we first see Dr. Helena Russell, that is Barbara Bain, we see on her console tower that in nineteen ninety nine humanity realized there is no technical improvements to be made in clock technology. So they still use flip number clocks for everything. Tara 06:16 Yeah. Dave 06:17 I mean, I would imagine more so than anything for their satisfying slap as the minute changes over. Sarah 06:22 Mm, hundred percent. Tara 06:23 It is very pleasant to the ear. My grandparents had an alarm clock like that and it was quite soothing. Dave 06:28 Yeah. It really is. And then when you get to the airport of old, you know, where they all slap together as the whole board changes, very satisfying. Sarah 06:30 Mm-hmm. Tara 06:32 Sure. Mm-hmm. Sarah 06:35 I missed those in Penn Station. Tara 06:36 Yep. Dave 06:37 So there's something on the space Radar is causing all this interference and hieroglyphics on all their screens, and you know that is the case because it's making this sound. So you know something's happening. So things are going haywire. Computers are making noises. So they send out Eagle One, it's basically a spaceship wiener mobile, to investigate the signal. Then Mars, Bringer of War, starts as the Eagle One makes visual contact with the entity Which slowly starts to cover Eagle One with stringy space spooge. Tara 07:22 Yeah. Dave 07:22 And I mean cover. Like you can watch this episode on YouTube, but this part of the episode you have to switch over to Pornhub, I think. It's real dirty. It is real dirty. Tara 07:38 Yeah Dave 07:38 What were your reactions when you first saw Eagle One covered in space boot? Tara 07:42 It was exactly that. I burst out laughing because it just looks filthy. Obviously everything is done with miniatures And all I could think was like, what are they spraying this with in the studio? Dave 07:55 Pride of ownership, Tara. Pride of ownership. Tara 07:57 Sure, I I hope so that, you know, Jerry Anderson was um making the special effects himself. Dave 08:02 Yeah, more like jerky Anderson. Mm-hmm. Tara 08:06 Mm-hmm. Sarah 08:07 Yeah, also the entity looks like a acid green little space butthole. It's there's just a lot. And once your mind goes there it won't leave. Dave 08:16 Yeah. Sarah 08:16 Or mine wouldn't. Dave 08:18 The pilot describes it as a shiny light flower, which is like it's not sci-fi writing. Tara 08:23 Sure. Dave 08:25 Space butthole, much better. Tara 08:26 Mm-hmm Dave 08:27 They lose contact with Eagle One as they come into contact with the space butthole and its spoogey leavings. Tara 08:34 Yes. Dave 08:35 And they send out Rescue Eagle, which is just Eagle One with orange speed lines painted on it. As they are rushing out to get to Eagle One, Rescue One is passed by a meteorite, seemingly ejected by the entity The meteorite passes by Eagle One, crash lands near the moon base. There's a fast zoom to the meteorite as it rolls. along the moon dust where it's perfectly spherical and then when it finally settles it's all this misshapen thing. Tara 09:04 Yeah. Dave 09:04 So they were having a little trouble either. figuring out how to make it roll or just deciding that they couldn't have the moon rock be round forever in the script. Tara 09:11 Right. Dave 09:12 Weird choice. Sarah 09:12 Or it looked to me like they'd spray painted a potato gray and then bougie's began. Tara 09:19 Well, and they also say, you know, it's a meteorite strike. It's a red alert when we see it like gently land and do no damage to anything. So it's like, all right, if you say so. Dave 09:29 Yeah. And that's the cold open. That's where we end. There's this weird shot of the moon rock and you think something's gonna happen and then like it bombastically goes into Martin Landau against the white screen. Which was a little bit of whiplash, but they know things we don't about this moon rock at this point. So then we get the credits. Great theme. No problem with the theme. Tara 09:50 So good Dave 09:51 Love the music that bit you heard where it goes into its disco-e overdrive is the Battlestar Galactica esque Here's what's gonna happen in this episode thing, which was always annoying when you're watching Battlestar Galactica for the first time. You didn't want to be spoiled for little bliplets of what's going on. This is this is where it happened. This is where they started, apparently, space nineteen ninety-nine. And now we get into the first half of the rest of the episode. Space spooged. So Eagle One has gone without a trace. They are examining the meteorite back in the lab inside of Alpha moon based. The meteorite looks like what it is. It might be a spray painted potato. Might be couch foam roughly he to a weird shape. Sarah 10:30 Mm-hmm. Dave 10:31 It is liberally covered in s green celly string in order to make it spacey. Tara 10:36 Yep Dave 10:37 Turns out, they explained, it is extremely heavy for its size, almost beyond measure, and it's got a little bit of human tissue in it. It is Eagle One! Eagle One is now available in a compact 34 metric ton package for your convenience. Tara 10:52 Just add water to make it all explode out, like those little sponges. Dave 10:53 Yeah. Sarah 10:55 Yeah. Space monkeys Dave 10:57 So rescue eagle is out there trying to get a hold of Eagle One. Tara 10:57 Mm-hmm Dave 11:01 Canning's like, oh shit, call him back, get him back here. Too late. Rescue Eagles already sent an astronaut, Kelly, out in a spacewalk, but really it's more of a tumble when you first see him. He has absolutely no control of where he's going when he gets out. He's just, there's no like Tether? I don't know what's going on as far as how they're doing spacewalks, but he looks like he's already been George Clooney gravity in Tara 11:16 Mm-hmm. Sarah 11:22 I was just gonna say that, yep. Tara 11:23 Yeah. Dave 11:25 Kelly, for all his trouble, gets bombarded with space brain waves or something. He is returned to Moonbase Alpha where Dr. Russell is cosplaying as Moltar from Space Ghost with her welder's helmet. Tara 11:39 Yep. Dave 11:40 Run some tests until Kelly declares, as we've already heard. Clip 11:44 You must not touch my brain Dave 11:46 And then escapes sickbay goes ham inputting data into the base's mainframe on a console. And Tara, you love this a little bit. Tara 11:54 I did. They show his hand on this keyboard, which like none of the keys are marked. They're like some of them are white, some are orange, some are gray or black. Dave 12:02 Vertically mounted Tara 12:02 I forget. Vertically mounted on the wall. Sarah 12:03 Mm-hmm Tara 12:04 His fingers are like going crazy. He's going super fast. Unclear what he's even touching, because like I said, all the keys are on Mark. But also this prop has not been given any uh give So like the keys aren't moving as he touches them, which she's going too fast for them to have been depressed anyway, but like just with one hand he's clearly doing nothing but doing a lot in the world of the show Sarah 12:16 Yeah. No. Dave 12:26 Yeah. Yeah, and also the keys have been glued on with varying rates of success. So some of them are all kitty woppus, there's a few of them that are all in line, but it really just looks like if you've ever tried to take your keyboard apart to clean it and then you couldn't figure out how to get it back together. and you basically ruined your keyboard. Sarah 12:43 Mm-hmm. Dave 12:44 I'm not saying I've done it, but I know people have done it, those people being me. It looks like that. So security stuns him as he's typing away on their mainframe with what I call their scribble laser because it stuns him. And the way they do the special effects is just scratch out the film where it hit 'em and Yeah. Sarah 13:00 Oh my god, that was charming to me. I was like, oh no, face are set to yellow scrawl. Dave 13:08 You know when you got like um like you go into like Apple Notes and you can make the ink a little thicker when you're drawing and it's got that little scribble icon, you know, with the like the paintbrush that goes back and forth a few times? Sarah 13:16 Mm-hmm. It was that. Tara 13:18 Yeah, mm-hmm. Dave 13:19 It was that as a special effect Sarah 13:19 Yeah. Dave 13:21 Uh so they start him with a scribble laser. He's down but not out. He's sort of stumbling around the base till he gets back to his quarters where he begs his wife or girlfriend or whoever they are to make them understand. Tara 13:34 It's his wife. Her name is Melita Kelly, his Italian wife, who's very emotional Dave 13:39 Yes, there are a lot of Italian bit players in this show because it is an Italian co-production. That's I learned. Tara 13:44 No, wow. Dave 13:45 Yes, let's see. Tara 13:47 Space Italians, they're back Dave 13:49 They're back. Anderson's love themselves some space Italians. Sarah 13:53 Spaghetti Space Show, gorgeous Tara 13:55 Uh-huh. Dave 13:56 So that happens and Koenig's just like, ugh god. Alright, we'll just nuke this thing from Eagle. We're just gonna throw some nukes at it. The only way to be sure is to nuke it from not orbit, basically. Tara 14:05 Mm-hmm. Dave 14:06 And that's the first half of the episode. Tara 14:08 I just want to add, when we see someone working with a nuclear charges who's going down the line, like, okay, they're all set. They just look like kitchen bins where you would find like your staples. Like like those Sarah 14:19 Mm-hmm. Dave 14:19 They they look like restaurant where you get ice. You know, they lift the ice thing up in this look at that sort of trapezoid kind of shape. Tara 14:22 Yes, yes. Yes. Dave 14:26 Yeah. So the second part of the rest of the episode are calling foam party. Tara 14:31 Thank you. Dave 14:32 So the nuked-up eagle flies towards the space brain. While that's happening, Professor Victor Bergman, who my God guy, please insist that you get makeup and hair on this situation. The guy is going bald in the wiriest, multiest way possible. Sarah 14:52 He has bedhead in a couple scenes. Dave 14:52 It is uh Tara 14:54 Well, I I mean I kind of loved it because as he's getting more anxious, his hair gets more frantic. Dave 14:59 Yeah. Tara 15:00 Like I felt like it was part of the story in a way. Sarah 15:00 Mm-hmm. That is Barry Morris of The Changeling, among others, and uh put some respect on his name, but not his hair, because it is bad. Tara 15:05 Thank you. Dave 15:09 Yeah, thank you. So he is showing Koenig that the Sely string on the gray potato meteorite has reverted back to what he thinks is its original form. And the original form is dish soap suds, the most deadly and cost-effective weapon in the universe, apparently. Tara 15:23 Yes, it is Dave 15:28 And you know it's bad. You know this foam is bad news because of the music. We'll let the professor explain. Clip 15:35 We don't know why, but uh its chemical structure changes. It gains incredible weight and density. Are you saying this foam crushed Eagle One? In sufficient quantity, John, this foam as you call it could crush anything. Dave 16:01 It is heavy foam. Tara 16:01 Oh Sarah 16:05 I mean, someone, so whoever wrote the episode or someone on the production staff clearly saw The Who's Tommy, the movie. Tara 16:14 Mm-hmm. Sarah 16:15 And Anne Margaret writhing around and a bunch of beans and was like, what if that? But space and Dawn cuts grease. Tara 16:23 Yes. Sarah 16:24 Like, it looked pretty fun. Tara 16:25 Mm-hmm Sarah 16:26 To film, but oh man, cleaning up the set must have been a nightmare. Tara 16:30 Easier than if it was beans. Dave 16:31 Yeah So the professor continues to explain that he's been digging into all the info that possessed Kelly, you must not touch my brain, was sending to the space baron earlier when he was typing wildly on the keyboard that didn't move. Tara 16:44 Yeah Dave 16:44 And he discovers all like trajectory data about the moon ever since it got blew off course up to the present And it makes Koenig believe that the space brain is actually trying to help them avoid a collision with it. Canning, who otherwise doesn't seem that bright, wonders how they could communicate with the space brain to make sure Clip 17:06 Also contact's already been made through Kelly. That's it? Of course through Kelly. Symbiosis. John, if you want me to link your mind to Kelly's so that you can read his thoughts. No. The results could be catastrophic. Helena, if our moon hits that force field, it'll be a catastrophe for all of us Dave 17:28 Was there a scene that got dropped here? Because there's such a giant leap of faith between maybe they could communicate with us and Kelly might be able to help us to the doctor just immediately interrupting, I'm not gonna squish your brains. I'm not doing the mind mounds like nobody asked, Doc. Tara 17:41 Yeah Dave 17:44 Fucking calm down. Jesus. Sarah 17:46 She's like, let me just explain this for the viewers in the cheap seats and then immediately is like, yeah, no, that'll that won't work. Like, okay. Tara 17:53 It was a very Buntinian uh delivery on if you're asking me to blah, no. Dave 17:59 Is the implication here? Sarah 18:01 How about no? Dave 18:04 So, you know, they go ahead and do this brain-to-brain link anyways. Coney gets the 411 on space brain Clip 18:11 Well uh that why don't we do more gently? It's a living organism. Like a brain pulsating with life and light. It's the center of a whole galaxy. Maybe even hundreds of galaxies. Dave 18:39 We're halfway through this clip. Clip 18:41 Planets, stars, strange life forms And in the middle of it all is this spray Sarah 18:56 Mary Riley. Tara 19:01 This is the worst ASMR I've ever watched. It is it's weirdly Uncomfortably intimate to watch Martin Landau as Koenig being like very quietly going through these uh this report. Sarah 19:15 Yeah, having a science chasm Tara 19:15 I I did not like it. Yes Dave 19:19 We just need to like add in his beware from Ed Wood at the end of that and it would be just perfect. Tara 19:23 Yes, yes. Dave 19:25 So After getting this mind meld, Koenig tells them that the space spooge was basically the space brain spooging out like antibodies to protect itself from Eagle One. and that it has enough space spooge to do the same thing to the moon if it has to. So that's why it's communicating with it to avoid a collision because it's like, well I don't want to kill ya, moon. Tara 19:47 Yeah, right. Dave 19:48 And the moon's like, well we don't want to die either. So Koenig is kind of now leading towards trusting the space brain. Others, including Professor, are still hmmm-ing' and hawing about it. The space brain then with permission from Koenig with uh in collaboration with the reverse vampires Tara 20:06 Of course. Dave 20:07 The space brain is given permission to use moon-based computers and it gives them information by printing out CVS receipts in hieroglyphics to them. Tara 20:15 Yeah. Dave 20:16 Kelly helps them explain how it's possible to redirect the moon by, and I'm boiling down like a whole minute's worth of dialogue here, by putting a little English on it, like it's a cue ball, it being the moon. Sarah 20:28 Mm-hmm. Dave 20:28 Using the nukes to like spin the moon away or something like that. Sarah 20:32 Yep. Dave 20:33 So they're like, oh, okay, I guess we need those nukes that are currently hurtling towards our new friend Space Booager. Tara 20:39 No Dave 20:40 So they recall Nuke Eagle, which by the way, as Tara was saying, not only looks like some sort of kitchen appliance, it's also like the happiest stickered nukes ever Tara 20:51 Yeah, yes. Dave 20:52 They look like a hazmat supply store vomited inside of a restaurant supply store. Sarah 20:58 It's like that candy store we used to go to, except danger. Tara 21:02 Yeah, the sticker budget on this show higher than any other budget line. Like the stickers on their like the space walk uniforms on those panels like same thing. Dave 21:09 Yeah. Tara 21:12 This is just s these do nothing. They are completely flat, one dimensional. Dave 21:15 Yeah. And then when they reused all their hallway scenes for various parts of the show All the doors have adhesive stickers on it with their like seventies computer font things, and you could tell some of them are put on very nicely. Tara 21:24 Yes. Mm-hmm. Dave 21:29 Some of them have bubbles and wrinkles in them. Tara 21:32 Yeah. Dave 21:32 But they're supposed to be painted on, but they're very much not. Tara 21:33 Mm-hmm. We haven't even talked about how when pe when people exit the spacecraft to do their spacewalks It's just like opening the door in a regular ass hallway. Like there's just stuff on shelves that doesn't move when they open the door to space. Like looks like yellow thermoses on one of the shelves, and they're just totally fine where they are. Dave 21:48 No. Yeah. Sarah 21:52 It's like old old cans of paint, like it's someone's garage. Tara 21:56 Yeah, yeah, mm-hmm. Sarah 21:56 Like that's not how it works. Dave 21:59 Well, there's another episode that I was considering, so I had to watch a couple to figure out which one it'd be best to talk about. This other one, it's called like the demon's eye or something like that. But basically there's like a Lovecrafty and Cthulhu type of monster involved, but it's also the cheapest show on earth. Tara 22:12 Amazing. Yes Dave 22:17 So I assume it was written as if it's this like tentacled beast and is grabbing people, but what you got was a paper mache eyeball in a one of these doors that open to a spaceship, except it's on the ground and some derelict planet or something like that. Tara 22:30 Uh-huh. Dave 22:34 And the best they could do for it eating people is the people fall to the ground and then they just slide under this thing and then they slide back out as burned corpses. Like somebody from Dukes of Hazard working on your car, like a mechanic on those things, like zipping under your car and coming back out all burnt. Tara 22:53 Yeah, mm hmm Sarah 22:55 Mm-hmm. Dave 22:57 Like, well, I couldn't fix it, I'm dead. Tara 22:58 What I thought you were gonna say is like those uh when you used to get a toy out of the machine at the grocery store and you would get like a r fing rubber finger puppet, like a one of those little monsters, then use that instead. Dave 23:08 Yeah Tara 23:10 It's just running around. Dave 23:10 It was pretty close to that. Tara 23:12 Amazing. Dave 23:12 But it was supposed to be this like dynamic, horrible, Cthulhu old gods monster, and it really just was this like very static thing with one glowing eye and a few of his arms were moving, but it couldn't wrap around anything, so the people had to fall down and then like on wires get pulled under the monster. But the other thing is that when I say get pulled under the monster, you're imagining like getting pulled into the mass of tentacles. No, there's like a giant gap. Which is why when I say like kind of felt like a mechanic going under your car and coming back out again. Tara 23:42 Uh-huh. Dave 23:43 That's exactly what it looked like. Anyways. Sarah 23:45 So they got on a dolly and just like or a yeah, a dolly, probably Tara 23:45 Great mm Dave 23:48 Yep. Mm-hmm. So where the Fuck were we? Oh yeah, so they recalled the Nuke Eagle because they don't want to blow up this thing directly anymore. But something goes wrong on its return trip and it crashes into the moon, detonating, and then sending the moon off course from its already original off-course. Tara 24:08 Oh no Dave 24:08 Now it's heading straight towards the fucking space brain. So, the professor suggests pressurizing the boon base to make it spooge safe now that they know that they're gonna get spooged And the moon's gonna collide and there's nothing they can do about it, and it's gonna release its spoogey antibodies and spooge everybody and they will be spooged. Tara 24:28 Mm-hmm. Dave 24:29 So there's spooge everywhere now. Tara 24:31 Yeah. Dave 24:31 There's stringy, ropey spooge coming out of it, traveling through space. And the way they film it is they're just shooting spooge against a black screen and they're just overlaying that on to a picture of the moon. Tara 24:45 I believe the term is shooting ropes, but yes. Dave 24:48 Okay, thank you. Tara 24:48 Mm-hmm Dave 24:50 And it is disgusting on a galactic level when you think about it. Tara 24:53 It really is. It is it is. Dave 24:55 How much spooges we're talking about. Tara 24:58 I was upset Dave 24:59 Yeah, but that's only one of the many forms of spooge that we get in the second half of this episode. Tara 25:04 Yes. Dave 25:05 So we get Rogue spooge from direct from the source. Tara 25:09 Yep. Dave 25:10 The same stuff that covered Eagle One earlier. We've already encountered Palmolive spooge suds. And we also get, as the giant strings, ropes of spooge hit the moon, we get shaving cream spooge, which I'm sure is what they used. They probably just had a can of shaving cream slightly under the moon dust and they sprayed it and it would like bubble up in a big dome. Tara 25:29 Yeah I thought that or possibly marshmallow fluff, but if now that I know it was definitely made in Britain, I'm sure they did not have marshmallow fluff on hand there. Sarah 25:35 Yeah. Dave 25:39 No. Tara 25:40 Not in austerity Britain. Dave 25:41 No, they can't afford it. Sarah 25:42 I know. It was a wonder they could spare a single potato. Dave 25:43 But The most disturbing thing about all the spooges is the shaving cream spooge once you realize that there's little red bits of something in it. Tara 25:54 Mm-hmm. Dave 25:54 Like they wanted to jazz it up or juice it up as it were. And they decided to add like red somethings. And I'm sure when they first started, it didn't look like somebody was bleeding. Tara 26:06 Ajá, mhm Dave 26:06 in their spooge. I'm sure it was like less diffuse. You know, it looked more like little red hundreds and thousands in their spooge and not, oh, something's wrong with space brain Tara 26:15 Yes. Dave 26:19 All very upsetting. All states of spooge. Very upsetting. And then there's five minutes, five glorious minutes of everybody on Alphabase getting absolutely menaced by Sudsy spooge. Tara 26:33 Or as I have it in my notes, everyone having a bad time at the phone party. Dave 26:37 Yeah. Sarah 26:37 Mm-hmm. Yeah. Everyone getting Bobby braided by Space Brain. Tara 26:42 Yes. Dave 26:42 And you know, you're thinking five minutes sounds like a lot, is not, I could have watched another ten it easily, especially because there is a a reprieve of bars from Pulse Planets. And it just goes hard for people struggling to walk through dish soap. Tara 26:56 As it were. Sarah 26:57 As it were. Dave 27:00 It really just is a combination of visuals that you will never see again Sarah 27:04 the lady moonbasers clearly struggling with the idea that this really has to happen in one take and their hair is just f Fucked for the next week. Tara 27:14 Yes, mm hmm Sarah 27:15 There's a couple of extras who are just like their faces are all screwed up, and they're just like, this is the fucking worst. I can't believe I'm only getting paid scale for this. Tara 27:23 I can't believe I went to Rada for this. Dave 27:26 Yeah, I think my favorite one, maybe the one you're talking about, Sarah, is there's a woman and a guy running through the foam at a certain point where the foam is like five or six feet high. Sarah 27:35 Mm-hmm. Dave 27:35 And she slips and falls under the foam, then comes back out. She just looks like again the the scene's only on Pornhub. Sarah 27:43 Yeah. Dave 27:43 Um, so there's a lot of great moments in here. Tara 27:43 Yeah. Dave 27:45 There's that moment. The first moment we get after they declare that they have been pressurized and the foam is still coming in. Kelly's in sick bay, he's strapped down to the chair because he can't be trusted. The foam breaks a window like it's a saloon fight in the old west and it's coming in to get Black Bart. Tara 28:05 Yeah. Dave 28:05 It's just like smash and everybody's like, oh my god, like and then like the foam just keeps on spelling in all over Kelly. What are we doing? Just it was just like great. It was like a s do you remember in Top Secret the movie where they do the underwater saloon fight? Sarah 28:20 Yes, oh God. Tara 28:20 Yes. Dave 28:21 It was like that, except they were trying to do it with foam. It was that ridiculous. And like wasn't sure it was not supposed to be a hilarious parody. Tara 28:28 Oh boy. Dave 28:29 There is foam slowly following people down hallways, as of course they do, and people like trying not to run too fast away from it because they can't make the foam move any faster than it is, but trying not to just walk So it is a real testament to the satisfying middle ground that they all decided that they've met, where they're like, uh, just sort of like mall power walking through the through the foam. Tara 28:54 Mm-hmm. Dave 28:57 Oh God. And the most disturbing part of the episode, by far, after you get over the visuals. During the five minutes, possibly the five greatest minutes in television history. We get this and I'm not sure what it's supposed to be. Is it space winds? Is it the foam expressing terror? Is it the space brain climaxing? I don't know, but here it is. I mean get that and get get Dracula played by Jack Palance in the same room and we'll see who comes out alive. So all good things must come to an end. And finally, the last scene of the space spooge foam invasion is them sort of all getting corralled into the control room Everybody's panicking because the foam is coming at a pace ten times the pace of a glacier. And they're really scrambling to get out of his way. It is the least dramatic thing I've ever seen in a size fish. They're really just like scrambling around Sarah 30:11 Yeah, that they're like, Oh right, stairs the foam's like, What? Oh sure. I I mean Jesus, space brain Dave 30:17 You know that scene in Austin Powers where the streamroller's coming for the guy? Tara 30:21 Yes. Dave 30:21 It's basically that with foam. Tara 30:22 Yeah. Dave 30:24 And then the foam stops. Because basically the moon was a big enough bullet and it went right through the space brain and killed it, and it didn't get to release enough space spooge in time. to crush the moon into a tiny little moonlet. Tara 30:37 Phew. Thanks, Moon Dave 30:38 But that makes everybody sad because they killed the space brain. Sarah 30:40 Più, few Dave 30:42 The space brain, as we heard during the one minute Martin Landau dream speech is it seems to be responsible for many galaxies. So now all those galaxies don't have the space brain to question Mark them. Tara 30:52 Yeah. Mm-hmm, yeah. Dave 30:57 Don't know what that means exactly. Sarah 30:58 Yeah. Kelly also croaked, by the way. Dave 31:01 He died. He got crushed by the foam in sick bay. The doctor was sad about that, and Koenig's like, eh, whatever, man. Like, we got bigger problems. Who's gonna clean all this space boot out of the moon base? Tara 31:12 See to the widow Kelly. Sarah 31:13 I don't Tara 31:14 She's Italian Sarah 31:15 I mean, I kinda liked that it was a pretty downbeat ending that it's like, well, we possibly destroyed civilizations across light years, and also Mrs. Dave 31:23 Yeah Sarah 31:25 Kelly is gonna be fucking pissed. Dave 31:28 It's just Yep. Sarah 31:29 Oh well. Dave 31:30 And that is the episode. Oh shit, we killed it. The end Uh I I I started watching. I knew Space 1999 was gonna be the last show. It was either that or Blake 7. I started watching Blake Sevens like this is fucking terrible. I don't want to talk about it So it became this show and then it became a matter of what. And I watched three other episodes before this one. Tara 31:48 Well Dave 31:49 And as soon as those spacey spooge ropes, I'm like, all right, obviously this is it. And here we are at the end of it. And it was incredibly spoogey. Tara 31:58 Yeah. Dave 31:58 Like sometimes you're like, uh I'm gonna, a year from now, I'll be meet somebody on the street. Sarah 31:59 Yeah Dave 32:03 They're wearing a space 1999 shirt. I'm like. Oh yeah, I watched that. Hey, did you ever see and he goes, Space Bouge? I'm like, yeah, Space Bouge. And we talk about it and we're like, Yeah, the Space Bouge episode, and I know what you're thinking. There's probably like a scene that looks like spooge. No, it's the whole fucking episode. And he's like, yeah, the whole fucking episode. Sarah 32:18 Yeah, it really is. Dave 32:20 And then he turns around and the back of his shirt says space spooge and the exclamation point. And I'm like, yeah, we high five Tara 32:26 Uh huh. Dave 32:26 That's what this episode's all about. It's all about finding people that also know about an episode that was all about space bouge and just uh uh swimming in the knowledge that this existed and you both saw it somehow. Tara 32:40 I would say glazed in the knowledge that that you both saw it. Dave 32:42 Glazed in the knowledge. Tara 32:44 Also, when you describe seeing someone in a space 1999 t-shirt, is this a shirt that you made and are you seeing yourself from another dimension? Dave 32:51 I tell ya, w the shirt I do want is to give people like you enter your birth date Sarah 32:54 Are you Kelly? Tara 32:54 Yes. Dave 32:58 And then you get that royal blue with the lemon yellow lettering that they use during the credits to say this episode, this episode, and then the date of the moon explosions also in that. Tara 33:04 Yeah. Dave 33:08 It is extremely garish. That font, by the way, it is called Futura Black, even though it has nothing to do with Futura, I don't know. Also used in No Time to Die, James Bond movie, if you don't know what it is. Tara 33:15 Yes. Mm-hmm. Sarah 33:17 Mm-hmm Dave 33:17 Uh, I would do that. Tara 33:19 Yeah. Dave 33:19 I don't think I I yeah. Tara 33:20 Well you should Dave 33:21 So that's the episode. But what we haven't talked about is what it looks like. Tara 33:25 Mm-hmm. Dave 33:26 And the first thing I want to talk about is the belts that everybody has to wear. Tara 33:31 The clear belts, yeah. Dave 33:33 The acrylic soft belts that are giving a lot of people space muffin top thoughts. Tara 33:39 They are They remind me of the um sometimes on a cheaper dress, Sarah, you know what I'm talking about. Sarah 33:40 Yeah. Tara 33:46 You'll get like that's supposed to look strapless. but we'll actually have it'll have like bra straps like that. Sarah 33:48 Uh-huh. Yes, the clear, yeah. Tara 33:52 Which they look I mean, they look cheap whenever you wear it, but after the first wear it's like they start to discolor and this garment has, you know, an expiration date. Dave 33:59 Mm-hmm. Sarah 33:59 Yeah. They used to be clear belts and now they're tobacco stained Tara 34:05 Yes. Dave 34:07 Yeah, I was gonna say, remember your Nintendo when you bought it was nice and gray, but now it's yellow is the it looks like that color, that yellow. Tara 34:07 Yes. Yes. Yes, it does. Mm-hmm. Dave 34:15 Yeah, the poor professor in his space moon the color of everything in this show is 1980s personal computer box gray. Tara 34:25 Ye perfect. Dave 34:26 That is the base color. Sarah 34:26 Yes, yes Tara 34:27 Yes. Dave 34:28 And then the belt has a little bit more nicotine yellow in it. This has a little bit more gray in it. It's sort of like that's how they. do all these tints. The Professor has a muffin top, Martin Landau has a little bit of muffin top. Like either they had to not do the belts, or if they felt they needed to do the belts, they needed to be like WWE style belts where they like covered their whole bellies. Tara 34:44 Right Yes, yes, yeah. Sarah 34:51 Mm-hmm. Tara 34:52 It's clear that they're tunics up top to cover their crotches. And I support that. Sarah 34:56 Yeah. But the crotches were not covered adequately. Everybody is dressing right on this program, even though the pants are flowing, there are no underpants. in space in nineteen ninety nine. Dave 35:08 Yeah. Tara 35:10 It's true. They are very wide-legged. They're s they're swishy. They're like a it's like a space palazzo pant Sarah 35:16 But then it drapes in such a way that, you know, little professor very evident. Mushroom's not just the color of the uniform. Tara 35:26 Oh, Sarah, come on Sarah 35:26 I'm gonna stop now. Well, we've just said the word spooge literally hundreds of times. Tara 35:31 We we did. We did say it hundreds of times. Sarah 35:32 Now I'm getting gigged. Tara 35:34 No, you're not. Dave 35:35 How dare you, sir? The uniforms otherwise on Moonbase Alpha, first of all, they all have Fantastic patches. If you can like do close-ups above the patch game in this episode, then the Boon Base Alpha Patch shirt Tara 35:47 That Sarah 35:50 Mm-hmm. Dave 35:50 The pilots that are on Eagle One and Rescue Eagle have these patches that are like all the colors of a rainbow, but also space and a planet. Sarah 35:51 Yep. Dave 35:59 Very, very modern looking, like they could be on a website today. Sarah 36:01 Yeah. Tara 36:01 Yeah. Dave 36:02 But the one thing I don't understand about the uniforms, and I think they're poorly designed from a functional hierarchy standpoint, right? Because, you know, we got a commander, we got the doctor, it's like sorta Star Trekian in that we have Sarah 36:12 Mm-hmm. Dave 36:17 disciplines at work here, engineering and um statistical analysis and stuff. Tara 36:18 Yeah. Mm-hmm. Dave 36:22 You know, we got people with one color sleeve is the difference here. Sarah 36:25 Mm-hmm Tara 36:27 Right, mm hmm. Dave 36:27 So what if you can't see the one sleeve? They're just not face you. Do you like, can you turn around so I can see if you're a doctor or not? That was bad. Tara 36:34 Yeah Dave 36:34 But then on that colored sleeve is the one thing about their tops that make it Fashion of the future. Future. Future. People want to talk about this weird decision? Tara 36:45 Mm-hmm. Sarah 36:46 Yeah, it's a zipper along the top. It goes like from the elbow to the shoulder, which Tara 36:50 Oh that yeah yeah yeah. Sarah 36:52 I don't understand how that, and if you're not right-handed, Fuck you, I guess, because it's always on the left, and how are you supposed to, yeah, it's not great. Tara 37:00 That's to show off your tattoo. Dave 37:02 So you would undo the whole arm and then get into the shirt through that hole? And like kind of like crane your neck, like do this, like you're like into the beat of something. Sarah 37:14 Yeah Dave 37:15 Like hook your neck back into the neck hole and then get the rest of your bits in and then Use your uh that but then like okay now you've got a sleeve that's open and needs to be zipped and you only have one hand to do it so you're gonna have to like Sarah 37:27 Mm-hmm. Tara 37:29 Yeah Sarah 37:30 And it's on the top, so you can't like gravity is not helping you. Dave 37:34 You need a fashion buddy. Sarah 37:35 Mm-hmm Dave 37:36 You can't dress unless you have a fashion buddy on Mood Base Alpha. That's the only way I could think of it. Sarah 37:40 Yep. Dave 37:41 The orange pilot uniforms were very Star Wars X-Wing pilots. Tara 37:45 Yes. Dave 37:45 I feel like somebody was watching a little space 1999 here in uh while they were designing what would become Star Wars uniforms. Sarah 37:46 Mm-hmm. Tara 37:53 Sure. Dave 37:53 And uh anything else, fashion mods you want to talk about? Tara 37:55 I mean I thought the uh the lady's hair mostly was pretty good before it gets, you know, foamed Sarah 38:02 Before they Jizz in it. Tara 38:03 The exception being Doctor being Dr. Russell, who's hers is very like helmet style. Dave 38:09 Yeah. Tara 38:09 Melita Kelly had like a very, you know, nice lob. It was very silky. It had a lot of motion. There's another lady scientist who has like a sort of shag pixie sort of a thing that looked it suited her well. Sarah 38:16 Uh-huh. Tara 38:23 So I I appreciated the the ladies' hairs. The ladies were doing more with their hair than uh the guys 'Cause they could. Sorry to Barry Morse. Sarah 38:31 Yeah, but it wasn't impractical either. Tara 38:31 May he rest. Mm-hmm. Sarah 38:33 There were some space sideburns that I was like, I don't think, yeah, I don't think uh NASA is gonna truck with that, but it's a different future, I suppose. Dave 38:36 Oh my god. Tara 38:37 Space burns. Dave 38:42 Yep. And just a final note on the fashion and design. Thank God, another TV show in the 70s about sci-fi that features Eurostyle Bold Extended. So we're always there. It's omnipresent. It's our comfort font for science fiction of the era. Tara 38:59 God bless Dave 39:01 All right, that is it for another episode of Extra Extra Hot Great. We wrapped up our 70s UK sci-fi three of these feature for the year in style with the foam party that was Space 1999's Space Brain. We'll be back next year with a fresh batch of three of these, a new theme, and a new attitude. Sarah, remember Sarah 39:26 Good luck Clip 39:26 We're listening. Dave 39:30 I am David T. Cole, and on behalf of Tara Ariano, and Sarah D. Tara 39:33 But the brain is a million times bigger than the moon. Dave 39:38 Bunting. Sarah 39:39 You're soaking in it Dave 39:40 Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time right here on Extra Extra Upgrade Clip 39:56 We cannot predict the final outcome. But with luck and the measures we are taking, it is my belief that we will survive. Good luck to you all.