Giving The Gift Of 1980 Commercials

Dave: [0:13] This is the Extra Extra Hot Great Podcast, Episode 388 for the December 27th, 2025 weekend. I am Moment of Discovery, David T. Cole, and I'm here with Toothbrush Technologies, Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah: [0:32] Open wide. Dave: [0:33] And baby crying for you, Tara Ariano. Tara: [0:36] This is fun. Tara: [0:48] Welcome to Extra, Extra Hot Great for another weekend. Thank you so much for your support and for being here and for giving us a reason to travel back in time and watch old commercials as we are wont to do when we have a pre-tape episode to get through. We are today discussing a batch of commercials from December 3rd, 1980. These aired during an ABC after school special rerun of The Late Great Me, Story of a Teenage Alcoholic. We will link that in the show notes as well. I read the book that this was based on. It was quite something. Her drink of choice was scotch and milk. I never forgot. And I read this when I was like, not even in high school yet. Dave: [1:33] Is that a thing? Or is that just a quirk? Tara: [1:35] I don't know. Sarah: [1:36] It's some alcoholics who have an ulcer thing. Ty Cobb. Tara: [1:42] But enough about that. We're not talking about her. We're talking about the ads that were around her. Chen check-in time. Sarah, should our listeners watch these commercials from December 3rd, 1980? Dave: [1:53] Can we do the Chen check-in for this? Tara: [1:53] We always do. Sarah: [1:55] Yeah. Why not? It'll really bring you back. Dave: [1:58] Yeah. Commercials. Tara: [2:00] I agree. This was fun. Let's start talking about them. sure wish i was moving to the city with you yeah me too nobody. Sarah: [3:02] I think this tagline is forgotten for good reason. There's like a little too much going on in this Mickey D's branding effort. But what you're not seeing is that the kid, Jim, is sort of a cowpoke rural type whose family has moved into the city, I believe the city of Kansas. And at the end, his cowboy hat that he customarily wears everywhere is replaced by a Royals hat by one of his friends. Good time to do that. I believe the Royals had just been to the World Series, although they didn't win that year. But like of all the McDonald's campaigns of my youth, I don't remember this one at all. And they seem to have splashed out on it pretty well. Do you guys remember this one? Tara: [3:45] No, I don't. Dave: [3:46] But I think this ad is a good reminder that 1980 was still in the 70s. Tara: [3:51] Yes, a lot of these are for sure. Dave: [3:53] Yeah. I just don't mean this commercial was made in the 70s but the 80s for a couple years still is very much has a foot in everything about the 1970s how brown that is how the fashions don't look like anything you associate with the 80s now, this commercial and there's another mcdonald's one to come though i have to say the songs go hard like the actual arrangements the actual performance of them you just don't really get that anymore that sort of weird heartfelt middle america kind of yeah from the belly totally. Tara: [4:23] Not only that there's so much story in this. Dave: [4:26] Ad that. Tara: [4:27] I thought it was, oh, this must be like footage from the special like that they made a McDonald's ad out of because it feels like they were in like at least 12 different locations. Dave: [4:39] So what you're saying is McDonald's watch the story of the teenage alcoholic and said, you know what? I think there's a story in this story about McDonald's. Tara: [4:47] No, I didn't realize until the end when they showed the credits that that was the special. We don't find that out until the very end of this clip package. Dave: [4:54] Spoiler. Tara: [4:55] It's like a backdoor pilot of a McDonald's commercial about like this kid who moves from his farm. It was crazy how much attention went into this. It looks expensive. Sarah: [5:05] Yeah. Now back to our story. Gotta go now, cries for you. Baby cries for you, doll, comes with a bottle. New from a towel. Dow comes with a battle. Tara: [5:40] Dowl? What is that accent? Sarah: [5:42] Wow, Mrs. Poole, take it easy. Tara: [5:45] That's A. But B, why was this something anyone thought dolls should do? Why was it something kids wanted dolls to do? Dave: [5:54] My first boot house and buy proxy. Tara: [5:57] Whatever. It's like, take the most annoying parts of playing with a baby and make that the toy. Shut up, doll. Dave: [6:05] But you have to kind of neglect and abuse your doll in order for it to produce the effects you want. So this is really just setting up future terrible mothers. Tara: [6:14] It's true. Sarah: [6:15] But here's the thing. First of all, how does it like mechanically work? Does it have like a ring cam behind one eye? And when you leave the room, it's like, ring. Tara: [6:23] Yeah. Sarah: [6:23] Second of all, what baby is crying for is the absolutely shitty retrograde messaging towards working mothers about leaving their children at home for any reason. been like oh my god. Tara: [6:35] No thanks gross we'll return after these messages kellogg's honey and nut cornflakes has, Part of this complete breakfast. Honey Nut Corn Flakes still exist. They are now called Crunchy Nut. Dave: [7:17] That's what I had after I wore those cooled underwear in the last episode we recorded. Tara: [7:22] In October. Dave: [7:23] Three months ago. Tara: [7:23] Yes. I am here as our resident cereal expert to say them shits were good. They are good. I haven't had them in a long time. But they're right on the line between healthy cereals and kids' cereals. They're very sweet and really delicious. But if you are a partisan of like honey bunches of oats, they're like a stripped down version of that minus the bunches. But I'll say can't really see it, but there's it's a family having breakfast, obviously, and singing about their commercial about their cereal rather because it's so good. And at the end, the mother comes in and everyone holds up their bowls. And there's like seven people at this table. Like if you have that many cereal bowls to fill, you're not buying name brand cereal because you're going through a box a day with this household. Sarah: [8:08] Yeah. Also, as usual in this era, part of this complete breakfast, like that is the complete breakfast. But I have a distinct memory of this because Barb's idea of a sugar cereal was like regular cornflakes. Sure. We're eating like fucking twigs and acorn shells from the yard. She's like, Buesli, it's good for you. Like, yeah, but I need capped teeth and I'm seven. She drew the line. Apparently honey was too much sugar, which I think she was actually kind of right. There is a surprising amount of sugar in non-sugar-identifying cereal, but it brought me right back to being like, that actually looks edible. If I have to eat one more regular Cheerio, I'm going to walk into traffic. Dave: [8:51] Yeah, I'm going to let you on a little cereal industry secret. Sugar makes it good. Tara: [8:55] Yeah. Even with Raisin Bran. Dave: [8:58] Two things. One, the... plain ass helvetica box art of this product no i know of that era it's just great like they are actually still designing of course designing these packages with ruby cutouts and stuff like this is all analog so you really get the feel for that there is one of those diagonal corner banners and it seems like they didn't have the technology to align the text along yeah. Sarah: [9:24] No they didn't. Dave: [9:26] The path and it's just like us all over the place and the other thing is this family is incredibly, berobin everybody has a very large thick robe dad also has like a shirt underneath like he's hugh hefner of breakfast it's. Tara: [9:42] A pajama shirt yeah. Dave: [9:43] Yeah but it's like ornate it's involved and then he has it on top like nobody wears that many morning clothes to eat a fucking bowl of cereal They don't. But if you got everybody's robes and put it over one of the children, they would be dead within two minutes. Tara: [9:59] Oh, for sure. Dave: [10:00] Yeah. Tara: [10:00] Yeah. They would. Sarah: [10:01] I think this is also the turn your thermostat down to 58. Tara: [10:04] Oh, true. Sarah: [10:05] Try to save money. Tara: [10:06] True. Sarah: [10:06] Heating oil crisis era. So everyone's walking around with like 17 pairs of PJs on at once. Tara: [10:12] That's right. Reagan has not been inaugurated yet. Sarah: [10:15] No. No. Tara: [10:47] I bet I know which is higher on the list. This was glam to me. First of all, the idea that cherry was ever new is shocking to me. Sarah: [10:56] I know. I thought it was years after this. Shocking. Dave: [10:59] I think they didn't want to add it because anytime you have a cherry candy, it just tastes like medicine to me. Tara: [11:05] You both thumbs down the cherry. I prefer cherry over strawberry, personally. Sarah: [11:10] Actually, I knew that about you. This isn't a bad cherry candy compared to most of them. Tara: [11:15] Yes, I agree. But I just wanted to note, we didn't get Starburst, I mean, maybe just on the prairies in Canada until like the late 80s, maybe the 90s even. Dave: [11:25] Yeah, I have that feeling too. And we always had these like shitty, chewy adjacent Starburst adjacent ones like Frutella. Tara: [11:32] Frutella is good. Dave: [11:33] Frutella is good, but you only get one flavor in a pack. Tara: [11:35] That's true. But sometimes the flavor is like blackcurrant and that is the truth. Dave: [11:39] That is good. But also Frutella had a sort of, remember those white erasers from school? That one kid had the white erasers that really worked well. Tara: [11:48] Yes, Stadler. Dave: [11:49] Stadler erasers. They kind of had that mouthfeel to it rather than a Starburst. It was a little more springy. Had less give than a Starburst. Tara: [11:58] I know I'm getting old because the odd times that a Starburst passes my desk, as it were, it's so much chewing. Sarah: [12:05] I know, it really is. Dave: [12:07] So much chewing. That should be the slogan. Starburst. It's so much chewing. Sarah: [12:12] It is. So much chewing. Do not put those in the freezer. Yeah, I remember this jingle really well, and I remember the roller coaster visual really well. What I don't remember is this sort of seductive vocal does not go with roller coasters or intense fruit flavor. Dave: [12:29] I don't know. I got a bow in her. Sarah: [12:31] Yeah. Okay. Well, thanks. Dave: [12:35] Stars are the only thing bursting today. Tara: [12:37] Oh, God. Dave. Come on now. Sarah: [12:40] I quit. Dave: [12:40] I just meant commerce. Tara: [12:41] I see. Dave: [12:42] Yeah. Sarah: [12:43] I still quit. Dave: [12:44] The visuals of the rollercoaster tracks totally made out of fruit, like immediately unlocked so many memories. I mean, I forgot about this commercial, but I don't know. I mean, these sort of seductive songs, as you put it, I don't know, they feel of the era. Tara: [12:58] Oh, for sure. Dave: [12:59] Yeah. Sarah: [12:59] No, they feel of the era. I thought there was a peppier version of this particular song that went with the rollercoaster visual that was a little more like, hey, we're at the park versus, hey, do you want to come do a lot of chewing at my house more. Dave: [13:14] Like the juicy fruit ad. Tara: [13:15] Yeah yeah yeah yes but this performance is more like for a car commercial or a shampoo commercial i would say yeah yeah yeah yep mazda 100 percent we'll return after the, this christmas love is baby soft the fragrance for the moment of discovery first of all yuck. Dave: [14:01] But then explain it for double yuck. Tara: [14:03] Yeah exactly okay so what's happening is you're watching a boy girl party possibly all of these kids first boy girl parties because they look like they're about 12 right yeah and also because this is from the era when commercials were uh segregated let's say so they are all white they all look like they're from indiana it's like a guy a kid a boy making eyes at a girl and the girl and the eye maker guy's buddy look like their siblings so that's upsetting they all look so much alike it's upsetting even before you get to the moment of discovery but yeah cold loves baby soft had on a whole generation like i don't think i had a christmas when i didn't get some kind of loves baby soft collection and it doesn't smell good no. Sarah: [14:53] It smells like baby powder. Tara: [14:55] Which is. Sarah: [14:55] The point it's to infantilize everyone so that no one feels like. Tara: [14:59] Horny fucking before they turn 14. Sarah: [15:01] The moment of discovery is much too close to we'll be enjoying each other. Tara: [15:06] For me like. Sarah: [15:08] Discovery of what. Tara: [15:10] Oh wait i. Sarah: [15:11] Know this one and i don't like it i don't think this is true anymore but in that era and for a while on either side you had like tween starter perfume. Tara: [15:20] Yes which this was you. Sarah: [15:22] Had nail polishes that were more appropriate or sort of like you had two kinds of nail polish, basically like pale pink and dragon lady red. Those were your choices. And either you had pierced ears, which meant you were an actress slash sex worker, according to my grandmother, or you had the clip-ons that made you want to die. And this is a sort of the end of teenagers or young teenagers being marketed to that distinctly with like, you get Love's Baby Soft and maybe Jeanne Nette if your mom isn't paying attention or like something vanilla. And then now just everything is for everyone, especially like nail polish wise. Tara: [16:02] No, it's true. I mean, I think like tweens are bigger customers at Sephora than certainly I am these days. Sarah: [16:08] Yeah. God. Tara: [16:09] They're all watching TikToks about, you know, makeup tutorials. I'll also say knowing what it smells like now, because you still, when we're doing Listen to Sassy, our sister podcast, we still see like loves baby soft ads in an issue now and then. And it's like, if you're dating a guy who wants you to smell like loves baby soft like right away he is a predator he. Sarah: [16:28] Needs to talk to somebody and it's not you. Tara: [16:30] Yeah now back to our story this is the toy, Preschool Toys, the toys with the accent on do from Lego Systems. The Duplass brothers need to adopt this slogan so that people start saying their names right. I know that this is the version for babies, but the current day Lego sets that are only for making one thing. Here's where I bust out my most boomer opinion. Dave: [17:17] And. Tara: [17:18] Sometimes that thing is as dumb as wicked branded fake lego books and bookends are so depressing and against the spirit of what lego is supposed to be exactly. Dave: [17:28] They even get worse than that there's ones that are just a 2d plane of basically lego pixels and you make like a picture like starry night or something like that and that's what it is and people buy this, Jesus Christ. Yeah, Lego's so lost a thread. Sarah: [17:44] I don't know. As an anxiety sufferer, stuff like that can sometimes be soothing. Like, no one, I think, enjoys for its own sake making a latch pull rug. Tara: [17:54] But do that. Dave: [17:54] You're paying $60 for a paint by numbers. Tara: [17:57] Yeah. It's crazy to me. Dave: [17:59] Like, for these pixel art things. Tara: [18:00] Do a puzzle. I don't get it. I mean, God bless if that's your thing. Sarah: [18:04] Or just dump out a thing of Tinker Toys and do it in front of the TV. It's very soothing. Tara: [18:09] Yeah. Use your imagination, perhaps. Anyway. Harumph. Dave: [18:13] Great enduring logo, I assumed, until I looked it up. And now the logo is some sort of nightmare fuel Zootopia bunny. Tara: [18:20] Oh, no. That's too bad. Dave: [18:21] Do like at the end of the commercial, the Duplo logo's head turns around and winks at you. But that is a very 70s logo. Tara: [18:29] It is. Dave: [18:30] And they really should bring it back. It's definitely best. And it looks European to me, too. Tara: [18:33] Well, it is. Dave: [18:34] Duplo started like it. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Lego is. Sarah: [18:37] Yeah. Dave: [18:38] But yeah. one of the better logos we see. Tara: [18:40] Absolutely. We'll return after these messages. The. Sarah: [19:12] Take AIM against cavities. AIM is accepted by the American Dental Association. I loved AIM so much because it was one of those things that, like, at my grandmother's, I don't know what they put in it to make it taste better, but it really did. It's not like we were in tooth powder territory at my place of residence, but it was some boring, just plain white Colgate. And I will tell you, a lot of this toothpaste technology that they're like, kids will actually brush with this shit. Like when Aquafresh added a red stripe. Tara: [19:45] Oh, yeah. Sarah: [19:46] It was true. They were correct. Tara: [19:48] Yeah. What's your problem, Dave? Dave: [19:51] I don't think, besides Sarah Bunting, I don't think any kid wants a different mint toothpaste because it tastes better than the other mid-toothpaste. Tara: [19:59] I don't know. Sarah: [20:00] It's gel. Tara: [20:00] It's more glam. Yeah. Dave: [20:02] I understand if you've got the Aquafest thing where you pump it. And so, like, it's a device difference. Tara: [20:08] Yeah. Dave: [20:08] I mean, you remember the first time you heard of pump shoes? You're like, oh, my God, a shoe you can play with. It's like the original fidget widget. Sarah: [20:17] Heelys. Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. Dave: [20:19] All right. Well, I mean, if you say it made the difference for you, then I guess I'll retract that. But I am surprised. Like, the only way I could see a kid go, like, I want that toothpaste is if it was one of those crazy. crazy is bubble gum or a cinnamon like something that tasted those. Tara: [20:35] Were years off. Sarah: [20:36] Yeah and it's not that i it's not that i wanted to go to my grandmother's only for that reason but given that that was also where she pretended to believe that i was allowed to have cocoa puffs at home or that we should do a taste test of all the sugar cereals good grandma better be able to show out with toothpaste that i was gonna use or barb would have fucking killed her so, Aim. Also, it was like, it was a good font. Tara: [21:00] It is good design. I'll give you that. Better than Crest. Dave: [21:03] Do we want to talk about Timmy's friend, Bobby, who brushes his teeth like a serial killer? Tara: [21:08] Yeah, he really does. Sarah: [21:09] While his mom and her friend are fighting about him in the same room. Like, what is this house? Tara: [21:15] I love the frame story where it's like, I took your kid on a Boy Scout camping trip and he came home with opinions about toothpaste. Now we're in a fight. Really? that the idea that we're just giving him like it could be anything in this tube like he really needs fluoride like of course all toothpaste has fluoride that's what it's for what's wrong with you in. Sarah: [21:36] Our house we use a handful of. Tara: [21:37] Sand and we enjoy it. Dave: [21:39] My favorite part of bobby brushing his teeth is that at a certain point the kid actor can't help but look at the camera for a split second and that with like the crazy just brushing his teeth like a kid does where it's just like, on his front feet makes him look like a serial killer and when he glances for that one microsecond as if he's saying I see you and you're next. Yep. Tara: [22:02] Now back to our story. Can you do this? Sarah: [22:16] How about this? The Magical Musical Thing is electronic. 9-volt battery not included. Dave: [22:23] Top that. You're weird. Tara: [22:28] Mattel's Magical Musical Thing is electronic comes with songbook. I don't know about magical. It is certainly a musical thing. I don't even know how to describe this. It's like vaguely shaped like a flat clarinet. Dave: [22:40] Yeah. Tara: [22:41] And then it has buttons on it that, you know, you press to piece together your little songs that are all definitely in the public domain, including Ixie. What? Sarah: [22:49] Mm-hmm. Ew. Oh, God. Yeah, true. Tara: [22:52] But then, like, this is not, unlike a toy like the Fisher-Price xylophone, which we certainly had, this isn't the way that's going to teach anyone, like, and I know this is, again, my second most boomer opinion. But that at least shows you what an octave is. It shows you how notes relate to each other. This is just random buttons. It could be anything. It could be a speak and spell. Dave: [23:12] Yeah. Tara: [23:13] And then at the end, the kid just rubs it on his head, which, okay, I can see that would be fun, obviously. Dave: [23:17] Yeah. Tara: [23:17] Everyone likes to go to a real piano and stick their hand down the whole board. Dave: [23:21] Right, totally Gene belters it. Tara: [23:22] Yes, he does. He does. Sarah: [23:24] Which is why parents of multiple children absolutely were like, do not buy this for anyone in the household. It's sort of like Simon Says, but stretched out. Tara: [23:35] Yeah, kind of. Yes. Sarah: [23:36] Oboe length. Tara: [23:37] Uh-huh. Sarah: [23:37] What I did enjoy about this ad is that it's from the absolute peak girls in two ponytails with felty yarn ties, which I think I might have to get some of that yarn and bring it back because it's just such a look. So Marsha Brady. Tara: [23:51] Those were so cute. I had them too, for sure. Sarah: [23:53] This must have been one of the most despised toys by parents of that era. And if you went to any yard sale in, I'm going to say, April of 1982, they were paying you to take them away. Tara: [24:09] Oh, yes. Dave: [24:10] Yeah. I think when he is just rubbing the whole thing on his head, it's probably like 98% of how it was used before it just disappeared into somebody's closet. Tara: [24:19] Or sitting in it. Dave: [24:20] You look at it three years later and the battery goo is all coming out of the battery compartment. It's one of those. Sarah: [24:26] 100%. Tara: [24:27] Yeah, you can't tell me this child, like, when they weren't shooting, wasn't rubbing it on his butt, because he definitely was. Dave: [24:33] I know I would. Sarah: [24:34] Me too. We'll return after these messages. Dave: [25:04] You okay? Yeah, just got to learn to keep my trap shut. So the setting is Tony the Tiger in the family library with the fireplace, with the bookcase that spins around Scooby-Doo style. And on the other side of this rotating bookcase is the secret formula for Frosted Flakes, which has a piece of paper that says Corn Flakes Sugar. Tara: [25:30] Probably. Dave: [25:31] But in front of the fireplace, there is a trap door that will release if you try to get the suitcase. If you get far enough that you figure it out, we got a rotating bookcase. When you try to take the briefcase off the wall that is labeled secret formula, the trap door will open. And because Tony the Tiger, who references his grandfather, a great-grandfather in the Tiger family, we can then assume this is one of the original Tiger traps. He would be dead. He would be impaled by 14, 15 pointy wooden sticks. Sarah: [26:03] He may be protected by his extremely voluminous bell-bottom pants, which also appear to have applique on the side. If he lands it right, he might be able to not get run through. Tara: [26:17] Yeah. Little known fact, this commercial was the inspiration for the movie Skyfall. Dave: [26:23] I was thinking this commercial kind of feels like the setup for the fall of the House of Usher. Tara: [26:28] Mm-hmm. Dave: [26:28] I really want to know more about the Tiger family going back in time. Like, was Tony the Tiger's great grandfather, you know, like into some shitty stuff? Like, let's do the generational backtrack. You know, he's probably either an evil industrialist or his father had some like, you know, merchant triangle shit going on. Tara: [26:48] But I'll also say this is also at a pivot point because the design of Tony in the commercial has not it's ahead of where they are in the box art. The box is still the cute 60s style, like more cutout-y looking. This little kerchief? Yes, exactly. Dave: [27:03] Yeah, it looks more like Raggedy Ann era doll. Tara: [27:05] Yes, yes, exactly. wild strawberry, and now, brand new banana. Uh, juice. Banana gum? Dave: [27:41] What's worse, banana gum or watermelon gum? Tara: [27:43] Oh, watermelon, but it's close. I hate them both. Sarah: [27:46] Banana, but I like them both. Dave: [27:48] Remember the bazooka line and they had grape-a-roo and all those ones? They had a banana one for a little bit. Also, this was really fucking good gum. Remember Chews? Tara: [27:59] Yes. Dave: [27:59] Remember the couple of years where Chews went fucking crazy with all the different flavors? Because you would get the Melange Chews, but then eventually they broke it out where you can get just the grape ones. and then blueberry for one year, but they had a banana one. And the banana ones were fucking freaky. They were good. Didn't taste like banana, but they were good. Tara: [28:16] Yeah. Orange, bubblicious, undefeated. Sarah: [28:18] Yeah. Tara: [28:18] That was the best kind. Sarah: [28:19] This jingle hung on for a while, like a decade, but I think it wasn't quite as very obviously disco in the future. But yeah, this brought me right back. I could sing the whole thing. Dave: [28:31] The jingle is 70s, but the animation is the only thing in this whole run that I thought was hinting towards the 80s that we will get. Tara: [28:40] Yes. Dave: [28:40] It had like the start of sort of that vaporware aesthetic. Tara: [28:45] Yes. Dave: [28:45] Like it didn't have the grid lines when the kids are flying around in the universe, but you could kind of imagine you would Bernstein bears and those into the commercial in your mind. Tara: [28:54] Yep. Sarah: [28:55] Uh-huh. We'll return after these messages. Dave: [29:00] Before I play this clip, I just want to say I like this ad for Crayola Caddy because it's like one of those lost art exposition-filled theme songs like Gilligan's Island, where it's just like, here's what you get. I'm going to describe the product. Sarah: [29:15] The Crayola Caddy. It's fun to create with Crayola. A sturdy orange revolving. Dave: [29:44] Crayola Caddy is a box, a plastic vac form box that's basically a jar with a few cubby holes along the bottom. And you're probably paying $12.80 for one of these. It's like when you go to the Apple store and buy an iPhone or like you want a case. You're like, all right, $60 for a fucking case. Sarah: [30:07] Yeah, there's still one of these in my parents' basement and someone in our current house. I mean, they hold up like there's really nothing to it. And it is kind of a just slapped together extruded thing that cost them seven and a half cents to make. But they're, you know, four and a half decades and counting. They held up. Tara: [30:25] Yeah. I feel like this was kind of a bait and switch because having the crayons like all in a row on all four sides makes it look like more than there are. This is not a better value than the 64 color Crayola box. I'll just say. Dave: [30:37] Yeah. Backtrack to the Bubblicious first so I can play this clip. The ultimate bubble has the ultimate flavor. Goosey orange, wild strawberry, and mousseau. I think that's the Tony the Tiger guy. Tara: [30:52] Oh, I'm sure. Dave: [30:53] Yeah. Tara: [30:54] Yeah. Sarah: [30:54] Mm-hmm. Dave: [30:56] Now back to our story. Sarah. America's cookie jar. You're America's cookie jar. Sarah: [31:04] It's true. Tara: [32:09] Damn. Adina Menzel found dead with that last high note. Sarah: [32:14] Oh, yeah. No kidding. Tara: [32:16] It's not as story-driven as the previous McDonald's ad that we saw. This is more like different ways to have fun in the city. It was just interesting to me that usually I feel like McDonald's is sort of portrayed as being in a amorphous, like every suburb sort of a thing. But then when we find out at the end of this compilation that this is from a New York City feed, then it makes more sense that this one is like set in a city where it's like you see high rises, you see, you know, a big skating rink that tons of people are at. Like this was made for the tri-state area specifically, which was interesting. Sarah: [32:50] For sure. Tara: [32:51] Yeah, there's definitely a hangover 70s vibe in this jingle too, but it's, I love it too. Sarah: [32:56] I also was enjoying everybody's like Western sort of saddle stick parkas throughout this commercial experience. Tara: [33:06] Now. Dave: [33:07] Back to our story hey here's one about me the world's favorite. Tara: [33:10] Wooden boy will return after these messages if. Sarah: [33:17] This beautiful watch only had digital functions it would be perfect introducing. Tara: [33:21] The perfect citizen and a digi there's no such thing as an average citizen, And a Digi is like something that would be on Tobias Funke's business card. Dave: [33:32] I think and a Digi is a follow up to Pokemon. Tara: [33:35] Yeah. There's no such thing as an average citizen. Amazing. Amazing slogan. Dave: [33:40] Yeah. Tara: [33:41] That's so good. Dave: [33:42] Too bad citizen is like the bargainist of bargain basement brands. Tara: [33:46] It is. Dave: [33:47] Like they got alarm blocks where you press snooze and it just falls apart like the chair from the chair company. but. Tara: [33:52] Also like an analog and digital watch like wow it's like living in the not so distant right now. Dave: [33:59] But there was a progression to those like that was the first kid to show up in school with the digital watch and these were sort of the first ones with the small little dual display because you know it took two nuclear plants to power one of those back in the day and then you got to the casio era full digital watches with holy shit you got a stopwatch on that all right time me i'm gonna run around this table yeah and then the next one after that which was the pinnacle of the look kind of watch i got was the watch that you can play a version of pac-man on oh damn yeah oh. Sarah: [34:31] My god yeah. Dave: [34:32] And it was like that lcd like pac-man has like four spots in the maze you can go to fantastic so. Sarah: [34:39] Good now back to our story this is a commercial. Dave: [35:06] Procter Silex. P.S. We're as easy to remember. P.S. We're available at Alexander's Mace. Fuck you, narrator. Sarah: [35:14] We love you. We love you so much that we're going to deputize Sarah Douglas-Bontag to tell you that, uh, continuous clean coating is not actually some chemical slick that is like fuming up into your food and giving you some obscure cancer that they don't know how to cure. Tara: [35:31] Yes. Watch Dark Waters for more. Sarah: [35:32] Yeah. It's just an enamel coating. I mean, that's great. Fine. But it did really sound like something that that what's her name? Erin Brockovich should be like, yeah, you know what? Don't use your toaster oven or drink the water. Tara: [35:46] Yeah. Sarah: [35:46] But also 25 steaks in the toaster oven, And America, what are we doing? Almost positive the last time I bought a toaster oven, there was a long section in the front that was like, do not use this to cook Thanksgiving turkey. Here's why. Here's who sued us for doing that. Dave: [36:04] The end of the commercial, the mother from the honey nut cereal ad comes in, scoops up the whole plate of 25 steaks to feed her a giant clan of children. Tara: [36:14] Yes, her three basketball teams worth of children. Sarah: [36:16] And then she like stuffs one in each pocket of her robe like, I'm good. Dave: [36:22] Dinner solved. Tara: [36:23] I'll just say, I don't think I knew anyone growing up who had a toaster oven and they were so glamorous to me. We were definitely a like shitty two slice toaster and it doesn't live on the counter. You take it out to use it and then you let it cool down and put it away. Dave: [36:40] Did yours have, we had one and it was like the one everybody had in our area. It was like, what was the yellow of the 70s? Tara: [36:47] Harvest Gold. Dave: [36:48] Harvest Gold. It was Harvest Gold with brown control knobs. So, you know, it had the plunger and then it had the, you know, light to dark thing. But the light to dark thing was very loose. So you kind of like had a hair trigger. You just like touch it a little bit. It goes from medium to burnt, even though it's still in the middle. Tara: [37:07] Yeah. Dave: [37:07] But we kept it for like 20 years. It was always just like, what's my toes going to be like today? Is it going to be white or black? Tara: [37:13] Yep. Dave: [37:13] Never in between. Sarah: [37:15] It's just one of those appliances that even if it's not quite right, it's like a flag. You can't just throw it out. You have to call the Air Force and have them decommission it. Tara: [37:25] Yes. Sarah: [37:26] Then you bury it. Tara: [37:27] And not to reiterate what I was saying about the chair company in the listener's timeline seven years ago. But when we were kids, you could buy an appliance and it would still be totally fine for 15 years. Like my parents got an electric can opener when they got married. And I think they still had it when I left to go to graduate school. Dave: [37:46] Was it a can opener slash knife sharpener? Tara: [37:52] Maybe. Dave: [37:52] It was what we had in the back. It had two nice sharpening stones. Tara: [37:56] Yeah, maybe. Sarah: [37:56] That's what my parents had. And that still runs. My mother's old KitchenAid mixer still runs. There's toaster ovens that should be in the Smithsonian all throughout the family. Because you bought one. And then if it broke, you actually went somewhere and had it repaired. Tara: [38:11] Yeah. Dave: [38:11] Yeah. Tara: [38:12] Yeah. Dave: [38:12] My parents were the first to buy the air fryer of their day, the microwave oven. And that thing was like a fucking battleship. They were so big back then. That's when they were building them. So you can actually put like a whole Turkey in because that was going to be the future. Like you could rent it out and live in there. It was so big. A hundred percent. Sarah: [38:31] So big. Dave: [38:31] Yeah. Tara: [38:33] We'll return after these messages. Dave: [39:06] Once again, 1980, firmly in the 70s. I had to look it up. The song Convoy, 1975. Every Which Way But Loose, 78. Any Which Way You Can, 1980. And we're in the middle of the run on BJ and the Bear. Tara: [39:22] Ah, perfect. Dave: [39:23] So this feels like the end-ish of the long tail of the trucker CB culture craze. Sarah: [39:30] Yeah. And that was still in Dukes of Hazzard, which was still on. Dave: [39:32] Exactly. Tara: [39:33] Yeah, yeah. I made that note, too. This is one of three in this batch of commercials where it's like X culture. Dave: [39:39] And. Tara: [39:40] This is definitely that and then and much as with frosted flakes another one where the box art is lagging behind and but also looks better than the tv animation of the character. Dave: [39:51] It's so weird to look back on how long things lasted back then that you could have a cultural movement like that yeah that would last years right right now it would be like tiktok would shit it out in three days and we'd be on to the next thing truckers fuck them old news, i also forgot that toucan sam sort of had that accent back then he has like this weird like a hepburn of some kind it. Sarah: [40:15] Was very weird i forgot that too remembered the jingle but not the uh carrie grant of it all. Tara: [40:24] Now back to our story let's make breakfast. Sarah: [40:50] Comes with all the play food you see here. Beauty Secrets Barbie doll is sold separately. From Mattel. I had forgotten the sort of very kindly, like, you have to put it together yourself. I had also forgotten that this song was like the melody and the, in theory, Scansion was consistent across a number of different extremely cheaply made ugly and easily breakable Barbie product. But that they would just cram every accoutrement in that particular commercial into the melody regardless of meter. So it's like, here's the thing we're selling you today. shoes like oh guys just take a minute see which syllables go where and know that they're just like here's everything in an apartment building crammed into this melody without regard for scansion and uh. Dave: [41:43] Barbie's gonna fix the radiator yeah. Sarah: [41:46] Exactly this drove my mother absolutely crazy on top of like making me want a bunch of extruded plastic that is still sitting in a landfill somewhere. Dave: [41:56] You are so right about this because last time we did this last year there was a barbie commercial and i made that exact same observation that it is a uh you know it's the old lady in the passenger seat reading road signs as you drive down the highway well speed limit 45 but as a commercial just describing yes barbie dream house it's got pink walls and 12 windows Thanks, Grandma. Sarah: [42:19] Yeah, like window. Worse. Tara: [42:22] I would have lost my mind to have a Barbie fridge with mini food. Sarah: [42:28] Oh my God, me too. Tara: [42:29] I would have loved it so much. Dave: [42:30] I took a screenshot of it and stuff on my blue sky. If you want to go back three months and have a look at it. But it has a little milk carton and they show somebody take the milk carton out of the fridge and do a pretend pour. This milk carton looks like it's from Marty and Croft. Sarah: [42:45] Yes, it does. Dave: [42:46] It's really great. If somebody was making milk cartons that look like that today, I would just buy them just on design principle alone. Tara: [42:52] Totally. Sarah: [42:53] I know. Very cute. Tara: [42:54] I brought this up at book club last night with people who are mostly, I think, younger than me. Dave: [42:58] Ooh, I got legs for a bookie book. Tara: [43:00] We were reading the celebrity memoir of Jeff Hiller, so it's not that fancy. Believe me. I brought it up to ask if they could guess how much a fully furnished Barbie Dreamhouse was in 1980, and no one was close. Like, when I said $79.99, they were like, holy shit, that's really expensive. Sarah: [43:18] I would have guessed $84.99. Dave: [43:20] Yeah, I think the contemporary boy toy at the time, but was, and this was after I was doing, actually would have been a few years later, but it was the G.I. Joe aircraft carrier where it was like this giant fucking thing. And there's no way that was $80. I think that was like $40 or $45 or something like that. Tara: [43:38] My parents would ever would have gotten me that. But what if G.I. Dave: [43:41] Joe's aircraft carrier invaded Barbie Dreamhouse? Tara: [43:45] Barbie would win. I'm just going to add, though, one person in the club said when the last year of Santa for them, sorry if your children are listening to this. Dave: [43:55] Because Santa Claus died and there's a new Santa Claus. Tara: [43:57] That's right. Dave: [43:58] They're better. Tara: [43:59] Thank you. Her parents got her and her sister a dream house, and apparently it just comes with all of those little foods. They're just plain containers, and they come with stickers that you have to put on as part of the assembly. Sarah: [44:12] Same with the Star Wars Death Star. Right. Tara: [44:15] So her parents were like, after that, she was like, they were like, Santa's gone. It's us. And if you get something like this next year, you're putting your own stickers. Dave: [44:23] I remember fucking up the stickers I put on the X-Wing I got in 77 or 78. And it was always a little wonky. I'm like, God damn it. Why didn't I get my parents to do this? Tara: [44:32] Mm hmm. Sarah: [44:33] There were also, I'm recalling now, certain toys from this particular era when I would have been at Christmas 1980, I was seven and a half, I guess, and my brother was two. When my brother was like two to about three and a half, he just ate stuff, like anything smaller than a quarter. Tara: [44:50] Yeah. Sarah: [44:51] And once an actual quarter, like he just ate it. He was like, oh, that looks like candy. So like little foods like that, I just was not getting toys like that because he would find a way like it used to be a joke that you could turn dave jr upside down and shake him by the ankles and get bus fare because he'd eaten like 15 dimes and a marble like it was it was just a lot yeah at that time so anything with clever little pieces it was like why can't we play this board game david we'll return after these messages, chocolate soda, For a good time, we must get tears. The big chocolate bar that's got the inside. I do not know how. That's what she said. Tara: [46:03] I don't know how this ever became my favorite chocolate bar. It's like the most boring chocolate bar there is. Sarah: [46:09] It was mine too for a while. I don't get it either. Dave: [46:11] Guys, nougat bars are the worst. Tara: [46:13] We can't have the nougat conversation again. Sarah: [46:15] No, we can't. We said we were sorry. Let's just move on. Dave: [46:19] More like old git. Tara: [46:22] But I do still think, not so much, I wouldn't eat a whole bar now, but when you get the- You just eat one? No, but we get the- One musketeer? The fun-sized ones are perfect. Dave: [46:31] Why are the fun-sized ones called one musketeer? Tara: [46:34] They should be. Sarah: [46:36] Or half a musketeer? Dave: [46:37] All for me and me for all. Tara: [46:39] One musketeer. Anyway, Milky Way slash Mars Bar, if you're in Canada, is superior to this because it's basically the same thing, plus caramel. But Three Musketeers, I enjoy the simplicity of it in bite form. Dave: [46:52] There is a certain class of snack where you can tell it was named and just endured, but it was named in the long, long ago. Can you imagine what would have to happen today for something new to actually be called a Three Musketeers something or other? Never would have happened. Tara: [47:09] No. It would be called Fast X or something. Dave: [47:11] That's right. now back to our story wait till your father hears, freshener, we'll all have good checkups. Double Protection Aquafresh fights cavities and freshens breath. Okay. Tara: [47:49] In the first McDonald's commercial, I think one of the like four friends that goes to McDonald's is black. This is the first black family that we have seen in this compilation. Dave: [47:59] Yeah. And we saved the angriest commercial for you. Tara: [48:01] Thank you. I can't. She's way too mad. Dave: [48:04] No more wire hangers. Tara: [48:06] She's been she's been directed to be like way, way too serious about Jesus Christ. Dave: [48:13] Mom, take it down a notch. Tara: [48:14] Seriously. Dave: [48:15] And also, don't outsource parental discipline to your husband. Sarah: [48:19] Let him brush with fucking butterscotch at this point. It's too late. He already has the cavities. Get him filled and move on. Tara: [48:25] I think it's a she, but yes. Dave: [48:27] Also, pre-red goo stripe. Tara: [48:29] Yeah, true. Sarah: [48:29] Yeah, I noted that also. Dave: [48:32] Yeah, the daughter left home the next morning. Sarah: [48:34] I hope so. Good luck. We'll return after these messages. Dave: [48:56] REACH toothbrush. REACH is angled like a dental instrument to reach back teeth. Bi-level bristles clean between teeth and gums to help clean away the buildup of dangerous cavity-causing material. Tara: [49:07] REACH from Johnson & Johnson to help prevent cavities. science yeah. Sarah: [49:12] They just angled it. Tara: [49:14] Yeah that's it that's it but i remember it was a big deal at the time and we definitely switched because it seemed more um sciencey yeah. Dave: [49:24] The packaging though is another thing. Dave: [49:27] That is hinting towards things that are going to happen in the 80s is very minimalist black box just a red toothbrush that's all it is floating in the abyss with just white-outlined Helvetica-esque font that just says Reach is very sort of craft work album cover style or Swiss international style. It's pretty cool. Tara: [49:50] Yeah. The guy we see in this commercial, you know, he's not a dermatologist and he's definitely never seen a dermatologist because the pores in his nose are like the size of the Sea of Tranquility. They're very large. Yeah. Sarah: [50:05] Authenticity. Dave: [50:07] Now back to our story oh hey here's one about tara it's here new baby a new and better baby soft cushiony we'll return. Sarah: [50:19] After these messages. Dave: [50:23] Meet carrie she knows what she wants something better so she switched from scope to listerman it's fresh, Lister Mint and new Lister Mint cinnamon. They taste as good as they work. All right. The 80s were still the 70s part 11 D billion. This commercial features a dune buggy. Sarah: [50:59] Dune buggies. Tara: [51:01] Yep. Dave: [51:01] So the commercial is the woman, Carrie, has a green Lister Mint colored sports convertible. She drives right onto the Amity Village Beach. She just gives a fuck. She's just right on the beach. And then the dune buggy guy who loves cinnamon-flavored mouthwash, he's got a red dune buggy, and they meet, and then they stick their fingers in the bottles and sample that. That wasn't kissing. That was them going, so delicious. Sarah: [51:33] And then there was kissing. Dave: [51:34] And then there was a little kiss, but the kiss made no noise, which is a weird choice. So, you know how it is when you drive right on the beach in your sports car with a full-size bottle of mouthwash ready to go? Tara: [51:46] Yeah. Dave: [51:46] Carrie? Sarah: [51:48] And don't forget you're wearing an extremely shiny satin baseball jacket matching your vehicle and your preferred mouthwash. And I'm not going to lie, I wanted his jacket very badly and still do. Dave: [52:02] She looked like, who's the guy that kept on getting fired from the athletics? Billy Martin? Is that him? The coach from the 70s? Sarah: [52:11] I mean, Billy Martin got fired from many places. Dave: [52:13] But he was in the athletics, right? He had a green jacket for her? Sarah: [52:17] No, that's someone else who managed the athletics. Dave: [52:21] Oh, okay. Well, then never mind. Sarah: [52:23] Leo Finley, Tony La Russa. I don't know who you're thinking of. Dave: [52:26] It reminded me of that Arrow thing. Yeah, for sure. Tara: [52:29] Simmon Mouthwash, underrated. Sarah: [52:31] Mm-hmm. Agree. Now back to our story. Dave: [52:59] Pops. Point is, rush hour without them would be grizzly. Billy Martin, manager of the Oakland Athletics, 1980, contemporary to 82. Oh, wow. Sarah: [53:12] Good memory, Dave. Dave: [53:13] Corn Pops. Tara: [53:14] Corn Pops had a fucking porcupine mascot? I didn't remember that at all. Dave: [53:21] Sugar Corn Pops have two more vitamins than any other cereal that we've seen. All the others have eight. This one has 10. Tara: [53:27] Thanks, Corn. We'll return after these messages. Sarah: [53:56] Memory machine, a little of tomorrow. To play with today. Dave: [54:03] Comments? Concerns? Sarah: [54:06] Let's be Rad Yerling. Tara: [54:08] Yeah. Okay. Dave: [54:09] I had to look up when he died. I'm like, surely he didn't do this, right? This is way below him. Tara: [54:15] No. Dave: [54:16] But yeah, he died five years earlier. Tara: [54:17] No, that was like Kevin Pollack or someone doing an impression. Dave: [54:20] Okay. But how much did the Serling Estate Sue drive command for? Tara: [54:27] They should have. Dave: [54:27] Because not only does he sound like it, He's obviously supposed to be doing Twilight Zone opening narration a little bit there. Sarah: [54:34] Yeah. Dave: [54:35] Like, how did they not get sued? Maybe they did. Sarah: [54:37] I think by not using the doo-doo-doo-doo and having things like flying through space, maybe they were able to convincingly avoid it. Dave: [54:44] Crazy. Tara: [54:45] Yeah. Sarah: [54:45] I don't know. Tara: [54:45] A powerful computer. Wow. Dave: [54:48] I like how chunky all the technology is in these commercials, right? Because this is the era of the Merlin toy, or if your parents shopped at Radio Shack, Fabulous Fred. And speaking of the magical musical thing, all the buttons were that Atari 400 keyboard bubble key thing where you had to press incredibly hard right at the center of the button area to make it work. And remote control slash programming tool for this, which by the way, had an attempt which is something you don't see that much anymore had those giant chunky buttons and my fingers sort of had this phantom ache just thinking about it because when you would play for enough with one of those you would start to get like repetitive stress injuries because yeah like almost ingrown yeah yeah yeah little little thumbtip calluses when you were the cuticles yeah now back to our story, You're not riding the rails no. Tara: [56:12] Clothing, our entertainment expenses, the whole thing, right here on this paper. Available at local stores. Oh, this is our third blank culture. This is hobo culture. We are in a train yard and a bunch of hobos are getting ready to ride some rails, except the one who's bought the National Semiconductor Pocket Printer so that he can print out his receipts on the fly. And somehow being able to do this has allowed him to afford a Rolls Royce and a sexy lady to ride in it with him. Sarah: [56:43] Oh, I thought it was a DeLorean. Yeah. I guess I wasn't paying attention. I don't know. I do know that it was the TransCanada Railway, based on the Semiconductor Pocket Printer pronunciation. Tara: [56:55] Yeah. National Semiconductor as a brand name. Bring it back. Bring back chunky company names like that that make you trust that they built something important. Sarah: [57:07] American Science and Surplus, RIP. Dave: [57:10] Another 70s culture craze that just extended into 1980, apparently. You know, we had The Littlest Hobo, the dog show from Canada. We had all sorts of like kids as hobos and tramps. Remember the like the Gary Coleman lives in a bus station stuff and all the like. Sarah: [57:28] Bunky Brewster was basically that. Dave: [57:29] Yeah. So, yeah, once again, the 80s for the 70s. Sarah: [57:34] We'll return after these messages. Presenting. Dave: [57:54] House is any girl's dream come true Completely furnished for only $89.99 And our great stocking stuffers, just $7.99 each You'll find the perfect gift at Abraham and Strauss where beautiful holidays begin. $10 more than previously stated. Sarah: [58:10] Yeah. Tara: [58:10] If you got the $89.99 full furnished Barbie Dreamhouse, call in. We don't have a call-in number, but Discord in because I want to hear about it. Dave: [58:20] Start dialing random numbers and see if you get one of us. Sarah: [58:24] Put a note into your drive command car and drive it to someone's house. Dave: [58:27] I'll give you a hint. I'm at the 737 area code. The rest you got to figure out. Tara: [58:31] Great start. Dave: [58:31] Yeah. Sarah: [58:33] Now. Tara: [59:00] Friendly and fun. Childful, everything a toy toy should be. It's perfect that this is the last commercial we're talking about. And I'm not going to tell you necessarily you need to watch this entire compilation, although it's fun. But at least fast forward to the Child World commercials so that you can see Peter Panda, which is a guy in a 15th hand panda mascot costume that is so ill-fitting, poorly made, creepy. It's creepy. Looks like if someone was walking around in that suit in Times Square, you would run in the opposite direction and call the police. Dave: [59:38] It's creepy because he's too thin. He has no panda fat. It is just a panda head on a guy wearing like suspenders and pants. Tara: [59:45] Yes. Sarah: [59:46] And skates. Tara: [59:47] And roller skates. Sarah: [59:48] Fuck off. Dave: [59:49] Child's world, child's world, don't lose track of your kids. Tara: [59:52] Ha ha ha ha! Dave: [1:00:05] All right, everybody, it's time for everybody's segment with everybody's favorite segment theme. It is time for Ask EHG. All right. Since this is a pre-tape, we will dispense with the judgments. Go right into your questions. First one from Hayden Haymaker. If you have one, please share your favorite proverb with us. Mine is, if wishes were horses, I'd have a ranch. Wish I'm running into the ground. Tara Ariano, favorite proverb? Tara: [1:00:48] Oh, I'm sure I'm doubling up with at least one of you, but I'm going to say work smarter, not harder. Dave: [1:00:53] Yeah, it's a good one. Tara: [1:00:54] And one that I coined myself that I've been trying to get off the ground, but I'm the only one who ever says it. You don't know better than the cereal people. This was coined because of Dave's tendencies to blend cereals, which I do not approve of, because you don't know better than the cereal people. Dave: [1:01:12] And I'm always offering to make a special blend for you, like your own suicide cereal. Tara: [1:01:16] Yes, but it applies in general. It's like, you know accept the expertise of people who have it don't try to second guess in areas that you're not learned in or to put it back to dmv which we were talking about 57 years ago uh stay in your lane stay in your lane you don't know better than the cereal people sarah sarah debunting. Sarah: [1:01:39] I don't i don't know how this happened to me um my grandmother used to say don't go looking for trouble it already knows right where to find you or right where you live i also enjoy slash have gotten a lot of use out of is there should be and then there's is but my all-time favorite i think is still dave senior being like if you don't know what to do take a metaphorical minute and don't do anything serve me well dave. Dave: [1:02:05] This is one I did not know about until yesterday because I was trying to find something else that I had a vague memory of. But in Portugal, there is a proverb, a house without a dog is the house of a scoundrel. I like that. Sarah: [1:02:16] True. Yep. Dave: [1:02:17] So I've been reading, I have read all these Roman detective novels, Falco series. And there was one, this is what I was looking up, Aurebus Tenio Lupum. I grab a wolf by the ears, which is basically catch 22 and fuck either way. Tara: [1:02:33] No matter what I do. Dave: [1:02:34] I got him by the ears. I let go. I get eaten by a wolf. It's just more fun to say it in Catch-22. And then this is not a proverb, but it's the other thing that it reminded me of. I think it was in those books. Defecato animo. Defecato animo. Sarah, you took Latin. Tara: [1:02:49] Something shit. Sarah: [1:02:51] Yeah. Yeah. I mean, shitting is the soul. I don't know. Having pooped, I live. Dave: [1:02:57] Yeah, yeah. It's close. Having defecated my spirit. It's basically like you're relieved. You've unburdened yourself of something. I shat my spirit. I shat my thought out. Sarah: [1:03:07] Okay. Dave: [1:03:08] Defecado animal. Tara: [1:03:09] Amazing. Sarah: [1:03:10] All right. Dave: [1:03:10] All right. Next question comes from Mandrake. Is there a TV person who is considered to be great because of one thing, but you actually think should be considered great because of some other thing? Sarah. Sarah: [1:03:21] Think what you want about Ron Howard as either Opie or a director of Grand Spectacles, but his narrator on Arrested Development is absolutely flawless and that it is him is a big part. Dave: [1:03:34] My favorite narration of that whole series is when he's describing a unit of jelly beans as a thing of jelly beans. The delivery of it was so funny to me. Nobody remembers this, but I just like it was my number one. Sarah: [1:03:48] Clearly having a ball. Someone should tiny cannon one of his line ratings. Tara: [1:03:52] It's great. Sarah: [1:03:52] Dave. Dave: [1:03:53] Tired, Betty White as Rose from The Golden Girls. Wired, Betty White as Sue Ann from Mary Tyler Moore's show. Sarah: [1:04:00] For sure. Dave: [1:04:00] So good in that. Tara: [1:04:01] Yep. Sarah: [1:04:01] Good call. Dave: [1:04:02] So good. Tara. Tara: [1:04:02] Jimmy McGill is a great character, but Mr. Show is the most important thing that Bob Odenkirk has ever done. Dave: [1:04:08] You suck and you're wasting my time. Steel Mill, Eric, and Beez or Laura, I combined their separate questions. What is your favorite show or episode that is never, ever, ever going to get into the canon? I mean, I already have my answer. It is the cheese episode of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends because I'm trying my hardest and it didn't get in. And we hear it every damn week on this show, but yet it is not part of the canon. Yay! Tara: [1:04:36] The king of queens apparently sarah. Sarah: [1:04:39] I like syria this is a tough one for me i think i'm gonna go with samurai jack maybe i could get a couple of sequences into the tiny canon if monty kens and i like both got behind one and shoved but it's so visual and vibes i just don't think i could pitch it effectually all. Dave: [1:05:00] Right now bizarre lore's individual question everyone complains about TV tropes, but have you ever had one in real life? Something you've experienced that seems so utterly ridiculous that it couldn't possibly be real life, but it is. Tara. Tara: [1:05:14] This didn't happen to me, and we've told the story before, but Dave running into John and Tammy stopped in traffic somewhere on the highway. Dave: [1:05:21] In the other side of the country. Tara: [1:05:23] Yes, far from where they all lived. Dave: [1:05:25] And then the weird part of it is that I was stopped because there was construction on an animal underpass near Banff. So that's a little color. Tara: [1:05:33] But for ones that happened in my life a lot of sitcom characters hate their birthdays have had bad birthdays i have had bad birthdays there was the year i lost my wallet remember that dave, and the year that yahoo laid me off it was two or three days after my birthday but i was on a birthday trip fun fact that was the same day dave uh trended on twitter with movie title or bowel movement oh a social media highlight of dave's life oh. Dave: [1:05:58] You buried the lead number one in the world. Tara: [1:06:00] Oh excuse me yes. Dave: [1:06:02] I had two number one hashtags in the world the other one was fart movies. Tara: [1:06:06] Uh yeah well that's on brand dave yeah. Dave: [1:06:09] Back when it was technically possible i don't really know if this is a tv thing but it feels like something that they would have done back in the day but back when it was technically possible i had a few instances where i was picking up the phone to call somebody and they were already on the line. Tara: [1:06:22] Oh yeah that's happened to me that's fun yeah me too sarah. Sarah: [1:06:26] And the old super loud cell phone ring at a quiet, somber moment one has happened to me twice. The first time I was waiting to pick my brother up in court and Hawaii 5-0 went off and the judge was like, you're lucky I liked that show. Go turn it off. And I was like, thank you, sir. And I will do that. The other one, and this was actually pretty funny and not even the most tasteless thing that happened around my mother's deathbed, but my dad, brother, and I are just sitting around waiting. His phone rings, and because he is old man, it is set crazy loud. Barb hated cell phones so much in any form or situation that if she had been anywhere near shore still, so to say, she would have risen up and slapped his hand off of his body. So there was a reasonable amount of you are lucky she's dying or you'd be the one in hospice care commentary around that. So but yeah, it was just like it was so loud and jarring. And then Dave and I looked at each other like, who's going to end up dead here? We're not we're not totally sure. So, yeah, loud cell phone noises. We're good at them as a family. Dave: [1:07:42] Diatho says Dick Wolf has purchased the rights to the next Frasier Crane show, which shrink from the Law & Order universe will be hosting it now? Serity Bunting, question made for you. Sarah: [1:07:53] I don't think Dick Wolf's brain works anything like mine. So I think, in fact, it would be Dr. Wong, B.D. Wong, who would be thoughtful and provide expository background on his diagnostic answers. But what do I want to watch or listen to? Emile Skoda, J.K. Simmons, hearing callers problems, then staring into the middle distance disgustedly a la Dorothy Spornack, and then hanging up on them without a word. It would just be like a 20-minute montage of that. And I would laugh and laugh. Tara: [1:08:24] Tara. I said Skoda as well. Played by J.K. Simmons. He's very good at drama, but also really good at comedy, as we've seen many times. So I think he would be great. Dave. Dave: [1:08:33] I also said Skoda, mostly because he's the only one I know. Tara: [1:08:36] Wow. Skoda Hattrick. Dave: [1:08:37] He testifies against his bothersome upstairs neighbor, Cam Winston, and gets him committed to an asylum. Sarah: [1:08:43] Oh, wow. Dave: [1:08:44] Succeeding where Frasier could not. I don't know. Hi, Frasier. Dixon Chance has our next question. Pursuant to last week's and then a giant asterisk. extra, extra hot, great. Pitch a TV show that would definitely be too British. Too British. This is back in September. Tara: [1:09:01] Yeah. Dave: [1:09:01] So, mine is Lord Piddlethwaite's Marmalade Crisis. When the Royal Society of Breakfast Condiments threatens to revoke Lord Piddlethwaite's family recipe license, the eccentric aristocrat must rally his sleepy Cotswold village to produce a perfect jar of marmalade before the annual toast gala will never be made Sarah D. Sarah: [1:09:23] Bundy Claire Foy's are you being served spotted dick, Tara? Tara: [1:09:28] It's going to be a version of Pointless, but this one has a co-hosting team, one Scottish, one Geordi for maximum incomprehensibility. Dave: [1:09:38] Suli, Ryan's with Julie. The EHE panel has been given a monkey's paw. What does each member wish for and how does it come to pass in some terrible, twisted way? And the way I propose we do this is each person does the monkey paw for the other two. So Tara, what do you got? Tara: [1:09:53] Sarah wishes for an all Bosch TV network. The twist, everything except the currently extant or announced Bosch shows is a multicam sitcom. Dave wishes for all pickle flavored products to be as intense in their pickleosity as Pepperidge Farm goldfish crisps. His tongue dries out and falls off. Dave: [1:10:14] Sarah. Sarah: [1:10:14] Tara wishes salad out of existence, with the result that the humans in her household become horribly constipated, take measures to relieve it, clog the pipes, take measures to relieve that, and once again, have to replace all the piping under their home and the entire block thanks to the lettuce-less poo that ate Pittsburgh. Tara: [1:10:33] No! Sarah: [1:10:34] Dave wishes that Sandy would be less reactive to slash get along better with other dogs and miraculously her behavior improves so much so that she begins to befriend every other dog in the zip code and what Dave thinks is Sandy barking at the mailman is her calling all her new friends on the bark phone. So Dave steps out of the house to get a coffee one day and finds dozens of doogs on the front lawn sitting expectantly waiting for truths. It's like a magic eye painting made of doogs. Dave: [1:11:04] Sorry, that was the bad result? That sounds pretty good to me. Sarah: [1:11:08] Also a lot of poo. Just saying. Dave: [1:11:11] Tara hopes and has hoped for more episodes of the show Rivals per season. Instead, gets more rivals to the show episodes, including David Schwimmer in Seasons and Courtney Cox in TV Show. Sarah hopes for a more even fourth season of Strange New Worlds, but gets an even season of Strange New Worlds where all the characters are news, G-N-U-S. But then it goes full circle that this is actually just the fourth season of Strange N-E-W Worlds. Tara: [1:11:46] Huh. All right. Sarah: [1:11:47] Oh, okay. Dave: [1:11:48] Because that's how they're writing that show these days. Tara: [1:11:50] True. Dave: [1:11:51] All right. Our last question from Radish Cake is going to come in handy. If you work at a coffee shop and we go sauntering in, what is your standard order at your local coffee shop? Tara: [1:12:00] Can I say yours and see if I get it right? Dave: [1:12:02] Oh, yeah, sure. Okay, Tara, do mine. Tara: [1:12:04] Decaf. Dave: [1:12:04] Weight, size. Tara: [1:12:07] Large decaf Americano iced, depending on the season. Dave: [1:12:10] This order is all wrong, but okay. There's an established order for how you describe a coffee drink. Tara: [1:12:15] Oh, okay. Dave: [1:12:15] All right. Let's get all the components right, and then we'll reorder them. Tara: [1:12:18] Large decaf Americano iced with Splenda and half and half. Dave: [1:12:23] How many? Tara: [1:12:24] Two Splendas and half and half. Dave: [1:12:25] Incorrect. One Splenda and half and half. Here's a large, first you go with size, then you go with temperature, large iced, and then whether it has caffeination or not. So large ice decaf americano. I don't know exactly why the brain establishes that that's the order. Somebody actually wrote a paper on how humans do all that, like where the color goes. Tara: [1:12:46] Yeah. Dave: [1:12:46] Yeah. Sarah: [1:12:47] Yeah. It's like, I forget the name of it, but it's like the kingdom phylum thing. Dave: [1:12:52] Yeah. Tara: [1:12:52] Yeah. Exactly. Dave: [1:12:53] Yeah. It's fascinating. Sarah: [1:12:54] Yeah. Dave: [1:12:54] One splenda and half enough. Tara: [1:12:56] I should know that because it's in my text. Dave: [1:12:58] All right, Tara, let me see if I can get yours. I probably can't, but let's try. Tara: [1:13:02] Sure. Dave: [1:13:02] Large, non-coffee-based frappuccino, double chocolate chip. I don't know if they make it anymore. I think it's called Java chip or something like that. With whipped cream on top. Tara: [1:13:14] I mean, my actual answer in my notes is in brackets, smugly. Not applicable because I don't drink coffee. But when I go to Starbucks, I usually get a grande because large is too big. Dave: [1:13:26] Too big for your whittle hands. Tara: [1:13:28] It's too big. Caramel Ribbon Crunch is what I get these days because it's just easier. I also don't know what they call the chocolatey one anymore. Dave: [1:13:36] Is that what you had the other day? Tara: [1:13:37] Yes. Dave: [1:13:38] I was surprised because I had a little sip and it's coffee-based. Tara: [1:13:41] If I want them now, I get them with coffee, but I rarely, rarely get them. Dave: [1:13:45] You're so mature and grown up. Tara: [1:13:46] I know. Sarah. Sarah: [1:13:48] Usually, if we're talking Starbucks, it's a grande black coffee in a benti cup. Whatever roast is the least... tasting. So if they have a blonde one, that's fine. And then I make the, you know, anything in it. Nope, just black like my heart. And often people still chuckle at that. I'm not sure what's wrong with those people. I'm also like fine with the eat it with a fork strength coffee that my husband makes here at home. But occasionally Cup of Joe on Fifth Avenue makes a delightful pistachio rose latte. And then I'll do that with an extra shot and one sugar. It's really good. Dave: [1:14:21] Here is your question for you, listeners. It is time for Ask. Ask EHG comes from Seekent. What's a trope that may still exist on TV, but the reason for them has evolved based on real world experiences? So take an old trope. How has it changed over time? Put your answers there. We'll be back in the new year for Judgment. Dave: [1:14:43] It is time for the Tiny Cannon presenting this week. It is time. Tara: [1:14:48] Hello. sometimes a comedy sketch impresses the viewer because of the imagination on display. Other times what makes it sing is that it's built on an astute observation about human nature. The Kids in the Hall sketch Citizen Kane from season one, episode three is the latter kind, and here is why I think it belongs in the tiny sketch canon. Number one, it does not waste time. One of my secret favorite things is the banal dialogue required at the start of a comedy sketch to set up the premise, but there's virtually none of that in Citizen Kane. Two friends are chatting over a diner lunch and clip one. So it was a good movie. It wasn't a great movie, but how often do you see a great movie? Oh, I. Tara: [1:15:31] Uh, oh, what was it called? It's a classic. It's a real, it's a classic. It's, um, uh, That was 13 seconds. At this point in the show's run, the troupe had been doing live comedy together for years, and presumably the studio sketches that we see in that first season were crowd-tested hits. It's almost like if you have time to rehearse and polish your work, it makes for a better sketch show, Saturday Night Live. Number two, it evokes the pain of the embattled know-it-all. So what was that movie, clip two? What was it about? It's about this newspaper tycoon, and he's dead, and. Sarah: [1:16:36] Favorite Orson Welles movies. Well, this is definitely Citizen Kane, then. You're talking about Citizen Kane. No, no, no, but it's... It's something like that. It's cis, cis, cis, cis, cis, cis. Tara: [1:17:06] Uh... And they're all trying to figure out... Then I guess it wasn't Psycho, was it? I've been on both sides of this conversation. Everyone has. But the sketch is clearly written from the perspective of the person who is right, for whom every whiny dismissal of the fact they know is right pierces their eardrum like an ice pick. Clip three. Was Citizen Kane? No, it was. Dave: [1:17:30] Can we hear that again? Tara: [1:17:32] Yeah. Was Citizen Kane? Dave: [1:17:33] No, it was. Tara: [1:17:37] Kevin is being a jerk, but it was Citizen Kane. Number three, it takes that pain to its not quite logical conclusion. Kevin goes to fact check Dave's recollection and point three and a half for tiny canon deduction. It takes us back to a time when you needed your source to be a recognized news organ or other authoritative publication, probably printed on paper. Anyway, Kevin grabs yesterday's newspaper to consult the TV listings and to make sure Dave doesn't try to weasel out of an indisputable correction. Kevin pins his hand to the table with a steak knife and then clip four. Ah! Paper, paper. Tara: [1:18:38] You're being very mature now. Would you please take the knife out? Oh, when do you admit you're wrong? You never admit you're wrong. Look, you're making a fool of yourself. Number four. Then that turns out not to be the sketch's conclusion at all. A fade out on the take the knife out, admit you were wrong back and forth would have been a fine way to end the sketch, but there is another turn. Kevin finally does pull the knife out and clip five. Listen, look, would you mind just calling me a, oh, want a mortician. You want a mortician. You want a mortician. Stabs him to death. This is on me. Check, please. Check, please as a button is almost borscht belt writing complimentary. We have seen two lives change forever and it took less than four minutes. In our day, any dispute of the sort can be quickly and easily wonder killed to the Internet. Stick up for our generation and vote in a sketch that probably would not be written today. Sarah: [1:20:02] I will go first. This was hilarious and delightful. It brought me back not only to multiple conversations between me and my husband, each of us on one side or the other, depending. This happens on an almost daily basis, especially the victorious gargling cackle when he finds the information in the newspaper. Admit you're wrong and I'll take the knife out while the guy at the counter in the diner is just reading, does not look up at any part of the stabbing. Love it. Loved all of this. But it also brought me back to an ex of mine who was a film critic and who started like bringing like he had regular spots in his neighborhood that he would go with his then wife and he would bring the Malton movie guide like an old copy of it that he bought at the Strand and just like keep it. He would just hand it to someone behind the bar and be like, I'm sick of people asking me to settle these casting questions. Please keep this behind the bar so that I can just have a beer and a shot and not talk to anyone who's like, no, wasn't Citizen Kane? He's like, it was Citizen Kane. I think this might have been a life study. Sarah: [1:21:15] Yeah when i'm asked baseball trivia and then people like i don't know see breasts and are like that can't be right i'm like i'm fucking telling you it's right kevin the pain of the ignored know-it-all is exactly right this made me laugh many times and will many times again i'm sure dave. Dave: [1:21:34] Yeah, I really like to get kids in the halls in the sweet spot for me because they were obviously very big when me and Tara were in university and they would like tour all the time in the university circuit. So I think I saw them once or twice at Brock University when they were in their first and second season. Yes, we've all been on either side of the conversation. It feels true. And yes, in my mind, I would like to stab people like I'm like, fucking I know Billy Martin was on the A's. I know he was wearing a fucking green shirt. God damn it. Sarah: [1:22:04] I admitted I didn't know that one. Jeez. Dave: [1:22:08] The other thing I like, and Tara sort of hinted at it, is that the knife in the hand is actually in the middle of the escalation, not even counting the death at the end by that stabbing. That's not the end of that part. And I think usually that would be the end, but they actually have a couple beats more, which I thought was great. So yeah, very funny. Really like it a lot. Definitely going to vote for it. The other thing I want to mention, because it was, what year is this? Tara: [1:22:33] This is 1989. Dave: [1:22:36] Oh, really? Not even the 90s yet. All right. 89 in the background, in the cooler behind the counter, are cans of Minute Maid orange soda, which I haven't seen in ages. Sarah: [1:22:47] Wow. Dave: [1:22:47] They were pretty good. Tara: [1:22:48] Yeah. Dave: [1:22:48] They were pretty good. Sarah: [1:22:49] Yeah, they were. Tara: [1:22:49] All right. Dave: [1:22:50] Let's make this official. So, Rudy Bunting, what say you? Citizen Kane for the tiny sketch cannon. Sarah: [1:22:55] This is the Citizen Kane of this kind of sketch. So, yes. Dave: [1:23:00] Me too. So, Citizen Kane from Kids in the Hall, you are hereby inducted into the Extra Hot Great Tiny Sketch Game. Dave: [1:23:20] All right, we put aside not quite winners and not quite losers of the week to present you our not quite top 11 lists. I will go first with the not quite top 15 best roadside America destinations worth visiting between each leg of a road trip comprised of TV shows with American cities in their titles. Tara: [1:23:40] I started trying to type that into the doc for the notes and I'm not even going to try. That's on. You can put it in there yourself. Dave: [1:23:47] We start our road trip in the city of Boston Legal, and we're going to travel to the city of Providence. And in between those, we're going to stop at Attleboro, where you can visit the world's largest nativity collection. Tara: [1:24:02] Wow. Dave: [1:24:02] The largest collection of Christmas nativity scenes in the world, ranging from those that would suit a shopping mall to those that fit on a thumbtack. From Providence, we'll now be traveling to CSI, New York. We're stopping at Greenwich, Connecticut, where you can visit the world's largest bronze gorilla, King Niani. His reclined 23-foot long form is perfect for spooning or sitting in his scooped hand. From CSI New York, we're traveling to It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. For $4, you can go to a 200-year-old haunted prison, Sarah, in Mont Holly, New Jersey, where murderer Joel Clough still roams the cells today. Sarah: [1:24:44] Heard that. Dave: [1:24:45] It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, leaving there, heading to hot in Cleveland. We're stopping in La Trobe, Pennsylvania, at the 1904 birthplace of the Banana Split, marked by a historical plaque and a 10-foot-long banana split sculpture. Tara: [1:25:01] Fantastic. Sarah: [1:25:02] Okay. Dave: [1:25:02] Hot in Cleveland to Detroiters. We're stopping in Bellevue, Ohio at the Postmark Museum, home of over 1 million postmarks from around the world. You like postmarks? No, you like them postmarks. From Detroiters, we are going to Chicago Fire. We are going to Battle Creek, Michigan to refresh ourselves in the Kellogg Rejuvenators. Basically, you can live out all your road to Wellville fantasies with contraptions like the electric light bath cabinet and the kneading machine and the mechanical camel. From Chicago Fire, we now travel to Fargo. We stop in Elk Creek, Wisconsin, where there's a giant roasted chicken on a plate in somebody's front yard in the only road through town. It used to be on the roof of a diner. Now some dude's just like, yeah, front yard, let's do it. Tara: [1:25:52] Sure. Dave: [1:25:52] From Fargo to Tacoma, FD, we are stopping in Culbertson, Montana, at the Hobo Bible Art in a Caboose. Tara: [1:26:02] Oh, wow. Dave: [1:26:03] A great northern caboose was retired to a train yard where it was inhabited by an anonymous hobo before being acquired by the local museum. His legacy is an illustrated and annotated interpretation of the revelation to St. John, inscribed on every interior space with colored felt-tip markers. absolutely want to go to this place, 100%. Tacoma FD to Reno 911 will be stopping at the Large Junk Art Sculptures in Castle, California, featuring 40-foot-long, 5-ton dinosaur, a rock man, a giant ant, a giant penguin, a giant wiener dog, a giant dragonfly, and a UFO, among many other sculptures. From Reno 911, we're going to Santa Clarita Diet. We don't have to stop at this one. We're going to drive through Palmdale, California. It is the R. Lee Ermey Musical Road, where carefully dug holes in the highway, play 30 seconds of the Marine Corps hymn as you drive over them at 45 miles per hour. Tara: [1:27:02] Oh, my God. Dave: [1:27:04] From the Santa Clarita Diet, we are now traveling to Roswell. Walk among real-life ancient alien believers at the International UFO Museum in Roswell, New Mexico. Been there. It's great. It has all the blind faith of a true ancient astronaut theorist. Tara: [1:27:19] It's great. Dave: [1:27:19] Our final leg is Roswell to Dallas. Our last stop is the small town of Glen Rose, Texas for the Creation Evidence Museum. Apparently it's the size or might be in a mobile home. Tara: [1:27:34] Great. Dave: [1:27:35] It is always very busy and provides full proof that man and dinosaur walk the earth together. And that is the top 15 best roadside America destinations worth visiting between each leg of a road trip comprised of TV shows with American cities in their title. Saturday, Monday. Sarah: [1:27:54] My not quite 11. TV shows that you initially think should absolutely not have a branded board game. But then the more you think about it, the more you're like, but how would that even work? Wait, actually, I kind of want to play that now. In alphabetical order. Number one, Bosom Buddies. Number two, Chernobyl. Number three, The Deuce. Number four, Baragol. Number five, Feud, Capote vs. the Swans. Number six, The Handmaid's Tale. Number seven, Glow. That is not an alphabetical order, sorry. Number seven, The Handmaid's Tale. Number eight, Project Greenlight. Number nine, Rectify. And number ten, Six Feet Under. Tara: [1:28:37] Dara. I feel like someone could make a Chernobyl like tabletop game, like a strategy game. Sarah: [1:28:42] Oh, yeah. Like risk. Tara: [1:28:44] Six days to play. Dave: [1:28:45] I would think it was like Mousetrap. Sarah: [1:28:46] Yeah. Tara: [1:28:47] Or that. Sarah: [1:28:48] Yeah. Tara: [1:28:49] I have your or rather my not quite top 11 least enticing holiday TV episode titles ever. These are all from Wikipedia. And at a certain point, I just had to stop reading because there's so many Christmas episodes. So these are ranked by an increasing insanity or least enticingness. number one meet the barkers a reality show the episode title is the ten thousand dollar christmas tree don't know anything about it i just know anyone who is going to buy a ten thousand dollar christmas tree is someone i'm going to hate number two into the dark puka exclamation mark it's the exclamation mark that alarms me number three legacies this christmas was surprisingly violent the episode is called. Number four, The O.C. The Chris McHaw. This is, I think, their fourth Chris McHaw episode. Number five, Thousand Pound Sisters. I Candy Can't. Number six, Bones, the goop on the girl is a Christmas episode. Number seven, Dr. Pimple Popper, with every Sistmas card I write. Number eight, Strong Medicine, we wish you a Merry Christ meth. Number nine, she's back, Dr. Pimple Popper, Seasons Squeezings. And number 10, L.A. Law, Placenta Claus is coming to town. Sarah: [1:30:15] Oh my God. Tara: [1:30:16] Happy holidays, everybody. Dave: [1:30:17] All right. It is time for Kim Reid's last most awesome thing I watched on TV last month of the year. Kim: [1:30:28] Hi, this is Kim Reid, and welcome to the most awesome thing I saw on TV last month. Last month, I watched Little House on the Prairie, season four, episode 15, called Whisper Country. So we start with Mary and the rest of the kids running out of school, and Mary runs over to Pond and yells that she's got a teaching job, which she seems pretty young, but I remember from the books that Laura started teaching when she was 16, which, imagine any 16-year-old being in charge of a schoolhouse. I have two almost 16-year-olds at home, and I wouldn't put them in charge of making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. So cut to Reverend Alden at the Ingalls House, explaining that Miss Beadle, who I think is Mrs. Sims now, said Mary's the most qualified, which who's her competition, Willie Olson? Reverend Alden explains that Mary will be teaching in a town called Willow Prairie, and it's the first school they've ever had. She'll get $15 a month, plus room and board, and a good Christian home. I mean, story checks out. I'm sure nothing could possibly go wrong. Then Reverend Alden goes into the details that would cause any normal person to decide to turn down this job, as he explains that the community is very isolated. They have no store and no post office, and the people there don't like strangers and keep to themselves, which is honestly the beginning of every horror movie. He adds that he's there every other month to hold church, and also that Mary would be the second teacher because the first teacher left after just four days of work. No red flags there. All sounds great. Sign me up. Reverend Alden doesn't know exactly why, but he imagines it had something to do with a lady named Miss Peel, who presides over the prayer meetings and has a lot of opinions, including that school is not necessary. Kim: [1:31:54] Paul looks like he's holding back a laugh as he says it sounds like a battleground. Like, shouldn't he be more worried about his oldest child going into this situation? Kim: [1:32:01] Reverend Alden says that he got the other parents to agree to school by saying that it's a church project, but he thinks Miss Peel's still going to be against it. Pa says it's Mary's choice, and Mary thinks about it for three and a half seconds and then says she'll take it. So the next morning, Reverend Alden drives Mary to her new school. All the kids are waiting outside, and I laughed out loud as the camera panned across these children of the corn-looking motherfuckers. All of the boys have bowl cuts, and all the girls have unfortunate and unkempt braids, and they're all just standing around staring at Mary with that Gen Z stare. Reverend Alden says they're just shy and they'll warm up. Uh, sure, dude. They walk into the school and meet Mr. Caleb Fisher, and we learn that Mary will be staying with his family. Mary thanks him for his hospitality, and he says it wasn't his idea, and he has to let her stay there because the church owns the house and the land. Then he just rings the bell to call the kids in from the cornfields or wherever. Kim: [1:32:50] Reverend Alden asks him if he'll be back when the school day ends to show Mary how to find his house, and he just says no, because he has plowing to do, and his daughter Katie can show her. Reverend Alden looks a little concerned about that and offers to stay for the day, and Mary tells him he can go, which just shows Mary's ridiculous overconfidence. Like, I'm an angle. Surely they'll do what I say just because of that, which only works in Walnut Grove. The kids silently file in as if they're heading to the gallows and they take their seats. None of them are wearing shoes, which just adds to the children of the corn vibe. Mary quickly determines that none of them have a slate or paper or pencil or know how to write their names. Keep in mind, these kids are ranging in age from like six up to about 16. Mary starts writing out their names and she meets Katie Fisher, daughter of crabby old Mr. Fisher. Then some old bat in the back hollers, and everyone turns and looks, and this is how Mary meets Miss Rachel Peel. Miss Peel walks in and knows that Mary has fancy clothes on, which they don't look any different than what Miss Peel is wearing to me, and then she knows that Mary also has books. Mary says she hopes to teach reading, spelling, and writing. Miss Peel says that ciphering and the Bible are all anyone ever needs to learn, which didn't Mary just say she'd be teaching them reading, so seems like she's on track there. Miss Peel says that a man needs to know ciphering so he can sell his goods at the market and get back home to his family. Please note that Miss Peel is not now nor has ever been married based on them calling her Miss, and she also has no children or family that we ever meet or hear about, so for a so-called expert on the family, she doesn't seem to have much experience. Kim: [1:34:13] Mary says she'll be teaching math along with reading and also history and geography, and Miss Beale doesn't look too happy about that. She says all they need to learn is ciphering and everything else is a sin, and then she walks out the door. Mary stares blankly after her, and I'm so distracted by the fact that Melissa Sue Anderson had a terrible acne breakout on her chin, and the makeup department is not doing her any favors. So then Mary and Katie Fisher arrive at the Fisher home, and Mary meets Mrs. Fisher, who's also weird like everyone else in this town, and acts like she's been beaten every day and also is on quaaludes. Katie shows Mary to a room and it seems like she's warming up to Mary a little bit, but then she hears her pa come home and says, they better hurry. And Mary says, she just needs to freshen up. And Katie repeats, they better hurry. Mary joins the Fishers at the dinner table and they didn't even wait for her to start eating, which rude. And Mr. Fisher scolds her for being late and also for wearing an inappropriate dress. And Mary says it's her Sunday dress. She wears it to church and Mr. Fisher says, not here. And then he commands her to sit and eat like she's a dog. Kim: [1:35:10] After dinner, Mary helps clear the table and offers to do the dishes, and then she talks about what they do at her house to make the chores go faster, like Pa would read to them out of the newspaper, especially about the election. Mrs. Fisher wakes up for a second and asks, who is president? And Mr. Fisher says it's Grant, and Mary explains it was Grant, but now it's Hayes. Mr. Fisher gets mad and says that doing the dishes is Mrs. Fisher's job, and Mary should stand down, and also she needs to get a proper dress for teaching. Please note that her dress does not look any different than the dresses as anyone else is wearing, except maybe it's like a pastel color or a print instead of brown or black. The next day, Mary and Katie are walking to school and they see a collapsed barn. And Mary asks what happened. And Katie says Miss Peel did it because the owner made her mad. So she's both a boss bitch and apparently a witch. My kind of lady. Kim: [1:35:55] At school, Mary's using apples to teach the kids how to do simple arithmetic, and then this older boy comes in and starts eating the apples. And I wish I was joking, but that's actually what happens. Also, Mary's teaching method seems to be to yell at the kids until they give her an answer, and I don't know what teaching methods were like in the 1880s, but this doesn't seem very effective. Anyway, she gets real mad at Joshua, the kid who was eating the apples, and yells at him to go home. I mean, maybe he's hungry. Have some compassion, Mary. She tells Joshua he can't come to school late and make silly jokes, and she's literally yelling at the top of her lungs at this poor kid, who granted is not as cute as he thinks he is, but this seems a little overboard. At least he showed up. After school that day, Mary is telling Mrs. Fisher and Katie about the invention of the telephone. Mr. Fisher comes in and says it's all lies, and Mary says it was in the newspaper. Mr. Fisher's basically like fake news. Then Mr. Fisher says that he heard Mary sent Joshua home from school and his father didn't like it. And if Mary does it again, the father's going to talk to Miss Peel. Mary, as usual, goes from zero to 50 and just starts yelling that the kid can stay in school if he can learn how to behave or she'll send him home again. And then she stomps out of the room. Like, why does Mary have no gear between calmly talking about the phone and yelling at the man who's giving her room and board? Who, granted, is a crank and an asshole, but also Mary has nowhere to go, so you'd think she'd be a little bit smarter about self-preservation before somehow stomping up a ladder to her room in the loft? Mary yells that she doesn't lie, and there is such a thing as a telephone. And Mr. Fisher has no response, but Katie gives a little smile, like maybe she's seen the light. Kim: [1:37:19] The next morning, Mr. Fisher's headed to town or somewhere to sell his corn, and Mary and Katie are leaving for school. Mary spots a rooster who's tangled up in some kind of rope, and she sets him free, which freaks Katie out such that Katie runs off into the woods. Like, what in the world is going on with these people? At school, Mary learns that one kid is absent because he has whooping cough, or as these kids call it, the whoopers. And then Joshua comes in and asks if he can come back, and Mary says he can stay as long as he behaves. And then he presents her with a little sachet of stinky herbs that Miss Peel gave him and says it will keep away the whooping cough, measles, mumps, and the pox. Mary notes that it smells really bad. And I'm guessing that if it worked, it's because people couldn't get close to you so you wouldn't catch whatever virus they've got. Joshua creepily says that the only people that get sick are the ones that Miss Peel wants to get sick. I guess we're supposed to think Joshua has a crush on Mary because he just creepily stares at her with a grin on his face as he walks to a seat. When Mary gets home, Mr. Fisher yells at her for letting the rooster go because apparently it's good luck to tie up a rooster, and he needed luck to get good prices for his corn, but because of Mary, he got bad prices. He has that everyone knows about the rooster thing, just like everyone knows that dried spiders cure the ague and wolf droppings cure colic. And did Mary time travel into a medieval village or something? I did not make those up. That is what he said. Anyway, Mr. Fisher yells at her some more, then shoves her aside and heads out the door, but not before telling her to put on a proper dress for dinner. So this guy's the worst. Kim: [1:38:43] Some other day, Mary's washing the blackboard after school and Joshua shows up and offers to do it for her or at least empty her water bucket. And then he says he's having trouble with his multiplication and he doesn't have a slate. Kim: [1:38:53] Mary tells him he can just draw in the dirt, you know, like they do on Survivor or The Challenge when they're trying to do a math problem. Anyway, Mary shows him what to do and then he pets her hair and tells her she's pretty, which is real Lenny from Of Mice and Men coded. So Mary slaps him across the face. Like, again, zero to 50. I'm not trying to blame the victim here, but Mary didn't say no or you forget yourself, sir, or anything like that. She just hauled off and slapped him. And then Miss Peel, who apparently was just lurking nearby with her horse and carriage, saw the whole thing. And she tells Joshua he's a devil's disciple and that his father will rip his soul clean. And then she calls Mary a Jezebel who's flaunting her flesh. Meanwhile, Mary's dress has a collar on it and is buttoned up to the neck. The only flesh you can see is her hands and face, so I'm not sure what flesh she's flaunting exactly. Anyway, Miss Peel yells that Mary will burn and then rides off. And I do appreciate her flair for the dramatic. Kim: [1:39:41] That night, Mary's showing Katie how to brush her hair before bed when Mr. Bond, Joshua's father, shows up. Mary slowly descends the ladder in her nightgown, which wouldn't you put a shawl on or something? But I guess it doesn't matter either way, because Mr. Bond apparently can tell by the sight of her high neck nightgown that she's a Jezebel and worse, and that she put some sort of spell on Joshua. And he came home with his eyes almost swollen shut. And Mary says she didn't do anything to him. Mr. Bond threatens her some more and then the two men leave the room and Mrs. Fisher says that Katie won't be going to school tomorrow because she's not feeling well. So then the next morning when Mary arrives at school, there's no students there and she sits at her desk and cries. Although given how things have been going, I think I'd be kind of psyched. Like, I guess she still gets paid even if the kids don't show up because she does have a contract. But maybe her Jezebel hood invalidates the contract or something. Kim: [1:40:24] Cut to Mary returning to the Ingalls homestead with all of her things, and she runs in and cries and hugs Ma. And then some other day, Mary's sitting on a rock crying, and Pa comes up behind her, tells her she did the best she could, and she was right to leave, and she should put it behind her. But Mary can't let it go because she doesn't like that people believe Miss Peel's lies about her. Pa says it's hard to change a bigot's mind, and Mary says somebody should do something. And Pa says leadingly that it would take somebody pretty strong, and Mary says she wants to go back up there and give those people what for. Kim: [1:40:53] Pa says he's been waiting to hear her say that and says they should go up on Sunday because Miss Peel leads a prayer meeting then. Mary's glad that Pa wants to take her, but she says she needs to be the one to talk because it's her fight, and Pa looks super proud. So that Sunday, Ms. Peel's leading the prayer meeting, which apparently consists of her pacing around and then dramatically reciting the Ten Commandments when Mary and Pa sneak in the back. Mary introduces herself to the crowd, but Ms. Peel says she's not welcome. Mary says she's there to have a talk, and they can do it now or they can do it after Ms. Peel's sermon. Kim: [1:41:22] Miss Peel calls Mary a Jezebel, and Mary says Miss Peel has some explaining to do. And then she continues Miss Peel's lesson by reciting the Ten Commandments. Mary gets up to seven, and Miss Peel interrupts and says, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Like, she just wants to get it in there that she knows that one. But even a heathen like me knows that's not one of the Ten Commandments. Mary says so, and then quotes the scripture it's actually from, and Miss Peel says she's wrong. Mary suggests that Miss Peel look it up in the Bible she's holding, and then realizes that Miss Peel has never actually read the Bible. She's just repeating what she heard and memorized. Mary starts pontificating like, is she leading the prayer meeting now? And says that Miss Peel doesn't like books or schools and that she broke the ninth commandment, which is thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. And Miss Peel denies it. And Mary says, then why did she say Mary was a Jezebel? Miss Peel says that Mary carries the sinful stench in the nostrils of the righteous. Like, does it really say nostrils somewhere in the Bible? And then Mary says the only thing she smells like is soap and water. And she says this like it's the greatest comeback ever. and all Ms. Peel can do is just raise her Bible to the ceiling and everybody looks real scared and Mary asks if she's trying to call them the lightning and everybody flinches, but then nothing happens. So they're all sort of like, oh, she's a big old fake. Like this is what it took to figure it out. Like there's isolated and then there's just plain dumb. Ms. Peel says she saw Mary enticing Joshua and Mary says that's not what happened and asked Joshua to stand up and explain what really went down unless he wants to break the ninth commandment too. Kim: [1:42:46] Joshua admits that Mary was just helping him with a math problem, and then he tried to steal a kiss, and his dad is like, but what about your eyes? And Joshua says, it was just dust. And then the dad says, but Miss Peel fixed it. And Miss Peel says, yeah, I put my special potion on you. And the kid's like, yeah, and then I couldn't see. And then while Pa went to the fisher's house, Ma flushed my eyes with water until I could see again. And his Ma yells out, that is exactly what happened. And then Mary ratchets it back down to zero and says that the Bible says that God wants us to have love and understanding for each other, and learning is part of that. So school will be back open on Monday morning. And Mrs. Fisher's like, hell yeah, Mary. And then she stands up and starts singing Jesus Loves Me. And everyone joins in, even Pa. And then Mary weirdly reaches out her hand and just holds it limply in the air until Miss Peel takes it. And they sort of shake hands and sort of hold hands. And if Miss Peel has special potions, maybe she should give some to Mary to clear up that pimple breakout on her chin. I mean, no disrespect. We've all been there at 16, but the makeup department is really doing her dirty. And then we fade out as the congregation sings Jesus Loves Me, and we never heard about Mary's teaching job or saw anyone from this town again. And that's the most awesome thing I saw on TV last month. Dave: [1:43:58] So this is a pre-tape. Guesses about what Kim talked about. Let's go around the table. I think it was the Little House on the Prairie episode where Pa meets Bigfoot when he gets lost in the woods. Tara: [1:44:10] It's either that or the love boat when bigfoot takes a ride on the pacific princess um. Sarah: [1:44:15] Yeah i'm with dave, Sarah: [1:44:23] Happy Boxing Day. Welcome, Grandpas. We would really love you to give yourselves the gift of this entire show. Just a few bucks more and you get an hour and a half of, for starters, 1980s finest holiday ads, TV tropes we found ourselves in in real life, absolutely miserable holiday episode titles, so much more. We would love to have you along, extrahotgray.com slash club. In the meantime, we are glad you are here to unwrap some important TV boxes. That is our topic today. In honor of Boxing Day, I have tasked the panel with each gifting us their creativity with three boxes of significance from TV. This was a very broad mandate. Names, episode titles, memorable rectangles that either catalyzed plot or clearly had nothing in them. Everything was on the table. who would like to begin the round of gift-giving. Tara? Tara: [1:45:23] Sure. I'll go with one that I don't think anyone else picked. It's going to be the box that Joey makes Chandler atone in for cheating with Joey's then-girlfriend, Kathy. In the Friends episode, the one with Chandler in a box. It's a big wooden crate. It's the only way Joey can think that Chandler can possibly make it up to him, and he has to spend the entire Thanksgiving meal in a box in Monica's apartment, being silent. chandler in a box it's a lot less annoying than regular chandler i guess dave. Dave: [1:45:54] My first selection is from the twilight zone here is the setup, clown hobo. Dave: [1:46:18] This is the Twilight Zone. So that is a narration for five characters in search of an exit. They're all in this nondescript room with just plain walls, stark shadows. And it, I mean, I'm going to spoil it for you. So if you want to watch five characters in the search of an exit, skip ahead. But the five characters in search of an exit are suddenly there. They don't really know who they are or how they got there. And then they're trying to get to the top of the room's roof where there's a hatch or something like that. So there's sort of like building a human staircase to try to get up there. that can't quite do it until the army guy figures out he can make sort of a grappling hook out of some of the stuff on his body. And he does that. And then he gets to the top and then he's like flung out. Something happens. He falls out, can't get back in. And then it turns out that they are all dolls in a room of a dollhouse. And that was the kid trying to get her dolls out. Sarah: [1:47:33] There's a Felicity episode, actually, that is a direct from this, including black and white. Dave: [1:47:38] So they're all trapped in a box, basically, and they can't get out because they are, in fact, not humans. They are dolls in the Twilight Zone. Tara: [1:47:45] Amazing. Dave: [1:47:46] Sarah? Sarah: [1:47:47] Once upon a time, my parents came upon a 1987 HBO television movie called Lonk On. It's about a crappy minor league team in 1950s Florida, managed by a guy named Stud Cantrell. That's William Peterson. It also features a young second baseman named Jamie Weeks. That's Dermot Mulroney, still only shaving once a month at this point. And a future stud love interest in the form of Virginia Madsen. Ma'am, please introduce yourself and tell us why you're here. Clip one. Hey, you know, we haven't been formally introduced yet. My name's Stud Cantrell. Dixie Lee. Sarah: [1:48:40] Girl nut roaster. I'm not going to pay any attention to that shitty remark. I don't know why my parents imprinted on this movie. I haven't watched it in years, but it is a hey, it's that guy fest and a underrated film gem in the baseball genre. Plus, Cantrell has a bunch of cheery observations like, son. All Girls Fuck, which, okay, has been described, not even by me, as the best baseball movie you never saw. Tubi is claiming to host it. Tubi is lying, but it does happen to be on YouTube right now. I will link it, but Dixie Lee Box is one of the great, unapologetic, I-just-wanna-fuck-baseball-players characters and history. Virginia Madsen looks great. She's wearing a strapless shorts suit in this scene. It's a good movie, and I think you'll enjoy it. Tara, back to you. Tara: [1:49:31] Gosh. My next one is from the Succession episode, Too Much Birthday. This is the third season episode where Kendall throws himself an enormous, extremely ostentatious, extremely expensive, extremely not fun birthday party that no one likes, including himself. And at a certain point, it all sort of starts closing in on him. And the way that that manifests itself is he goes looking in the gigantic pile of gifts all of his not friends have brought for him, looking for the one that his wife dropped off from their kids. And he can't find it. And he just completely melts down about it. So specifically for this assignment, it is the box Kendall can't find. And spoiler, it never does find. We never know if there even was a gift or if it got thrown away by mistake because it didn't look enough like a gift. Or if Rava, his wife, his ex-wife, didn't actually even bring him anything. She was just fucking with him. And if that's the case, she should because he deserves it. But this is also the same episode where he is planning to get on a crucifix and sing Honesty by Billy Joel. So relevant to a recent topic on this podcast as well. Sarah: [1:50:40] Dave. Dave: [1:50:41] My second choice is a bottle episode from Brooklyn Nine-Nine entitled The Box. Sarah: [1:50:47] Uh-huh. Dave: [1:50:48] With Paradise's Sterling K. Brown in the interrogation room all episode with Holt and Peralta. A little bit of a departure for Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Here's a little taste of it. Hello, Philip. Detective. This. Tara: [1:51:07] Scariest person you've ever gotten a confession out of? Connie Buttons. I thought it was going to sound a little cooler, but no matter. So, shall we recap the night that Robert Tupper was murdered? Friday the 22nd. I believe you were the last person to see. Sarah: [1:51:34] Him when he gets dizzy. Really? I mean, duh. Everyone knows that. Dave: [1:51:40] The episode ends in a sort of a few good men sort of style where he just tries to make the guy who thought he knew everything look a little dumb said well i guess uh you did it by mistake and he's like no i was so smart look how smart i am and then he confesses and then the episode ends it's. Tara: [1:51:56] Also sideshow bob style as well. Dave: [1:51:58] Yes exactly yes i. Sarah: [1:52:00] Had that on my long list and that it's a homage to Homicide Life on the. Dave: [1:52:04] Streets. Very much. Sarah: [1:52:05] Three Men and Idina is amazing. For sure, yeah. Including the, like, same shot comps sometimes. Someone did a side-by-side of it somewhere that I thought was funny. Well, I know nobody else is going to pick this, and so I'm going to go with a short live, fortunately, television program called Black Box starring Kelly Riley. Yet another mid-teens procedural of sorts about a high-functioning genius in her field who refuses to take her psych meds and copes through jazz and fantasia class i think this was also the end of the ditch davy in america experiment i only got through two episodes and i almost had an aneurysm tara basically had to order me to stop recapping previously.tv i was like but the delicious rage, it's very bad don't seek it out black box tara back to you. Dave: [1:52:56] Wait hang on kelly on three One, two, three. Tara: [1:53:01] Whoops. Dave: [1:53:02] Sorry, let's try it again. Wrong button. Kelly on three. Kelly on three. One, two, three. You're just supposed to say Kelly. Tara: [1:53:14] Oh, sorry. Sarah: [1:53:15] America's cookie jar. Tara: [1:53:20] The mysterious parcel in the Northern Exposure episode, The Final Frontier. Of course, there is just one post office in town. It's in Ruthann's store and a package comes for someone. No one knows who they are. It's got a million different kinds of postage on it. It's been all the way around the world. At one point, they give it to Joel to like x-ray it because everyone is so curious about what it is. And I won't spoil what it is because the episode is really sweet and it's worth seeing. So that's the parcel from The Final Frontier, the great Northern Exposure episode. Dave. Dave: [1:53:54] My last full selection is Futurama, which features a universe in a box and another universe in the box. And then the universes in the box get into each other and sort of become mutually recursive. Tara: [1:54:08] Yep. Dave: [1:54:08] And here's a little taste of that. What's going on here? Why aren't you all out destroying the professor's books? Hermes. Tara: [1:54:22] If you want a box hurled into the sun, you got to do it yourself. Your granny can go to hell. I've hidden the box so no one can destroy the home universe of my handsome friend, your Hermes... Oh, my. And sure enough. Like granny said, if you want a box. Dave: [1:54:51] Hurled into the sun, you got to do it yourself. Tara: [1:54:56] Sarah. Dave: [1:54:57] Sarah. Sarah: [1:54:58] I am going to wrap up with a term that I've forgotten all about until researching this and rediscovered yesterday. And that was the Scully box. basically there's something called an apple box on a tv or film set that is used to even up someone's heights to like a pair of people in a scene's heights and a scully box that's called an apple box a scully box apparently which was also called a jilly board is an apple box and a half that was designed to get scully like reasonably into the frame with david duhovne who I did not realize was quite that tall. He's like real 6'1", not the Hollywood version. And I don't think I realized that she was that wee. That they renamed it a Scully box and that's an apple box and a half is delightful to me. And Scully always has projected being pretty tall, even in the early season's white tights era. She didn't look that teeny. That actor can really project. I did not realize that it was as the result of an actual contraption that she was standing on and that was named two different ways just for her. Tara: [1:56:06] That's cute. She was recently on the Off Menu podcast and they talked about her main dish was just Thanksgiving dinner, like Thanksgiving dinner with all the fixings. So the hosts ask her, which of your past co-stars would you most want to have Thanksgiving dinner with? And she said, Olivia Colman and Greta Lee. I was like, that sounds like a great thing. Sarah: [1:56:24] Yes. Tara: [1:56:24] All three of them. Yes, please. Sarah: [1:56:27] Oh my God. Yes. Get me there. Dave: [1:56:29] All right, that's it for our full choices. Anybody got any else? Tara: [1:56:32] Just one because you also did the Farnsworth Paradox, Parabox, rather, as I thought you would. It is the GloboCam Bag Hutch from Mr. Show. It's just a cardboard box you put your used grocery bags in. Sarah? Sarah: [1:56:45] I had a bunch. I had pizza boxes that are not held level. I had gift boxes that are wrapped top and bottom separately so you can do multiple takes of unwrapping. I had Dick in a Box. I had Bruce Box Lightner. titular scarecrow in the scarecrow and mrs king and also apparently he's done like 20 billion matchmaker mysteries movies good for him and finally a show about boxing that had an all-star cast and still sucked lights out sorry john ramos for bringing that up old mccalini has made it up to us since and so is pablo schreiber but still we'd love to hate that show dave anyone left yeah. Dave: [1:57:24] You took a lot of my alts, but I'll just mention, just because I don't want to get letters, the police box from Doctor Who. And then the only ones I have is two characters named Boxy, as it was the stupid kid from original Battlestar Galactica, named Boxy, nicknamed Boxy. And then Calcolon's half-brother on all my circuits from Futurama, the black box robot with the glowing eyes that never says anything. Tara: [1:57:48] But sometimes has a gun. Dave: [1:57:49] Yeah. Dave: [1:57:51] All right, guys, that is it for this extra large size holiday stomach sized episode of Extra, Extra Hot. Great. We went down consumerism memory lane with some commercials from 1980 before answering your burning ass ESG questions like what's the best proverb and what's too British. Tariq took a stab at the tiny cannon and got the kids in the hall psycho skit into the tiny sketch cannon. We enumerated three not-quite-top-11 lists. Kim brought us the last most awesome thing she watched of the year. And we wrapped it all up with some of the most important TV boxes. Next up, Christmas dinner for you. We hope you're having a merry one or at least a relaxing day with less Christians in public. Remember, we're listening. I am David T. Cole. And on behalf of Tari Ariano. Tara: [1:58:45] Boop, boop, boop. CPS? My neighbor's way too mad about cavities. Dave: [1:58:49] Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah: [1:58:51] So long, listeners. This is how you get a song to scan. Dave: [1:58:56] Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time right here on Extra Extra Hot Great. You're supposed to say it with Citizen Kane when I said Psycho. Tara: [1:59:08] Child world, everything a toy should be. Tonight, another uniformed officer has been killed in Newark. The second Newark officer shot in a week. We'll have that story and we'll have these stories also.