Polygoing Places With The Rapsittie Street Kids

Dave: [0:09] This is the Extra Extra Hot Great Podcast, episode 387 for the December 20th, 2025 weekend. I am really big store that starts with a W, David T. Cole. And I'm here with Christmas tree blaster, Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah: [0:29] Not bad for a guy whose knees don't bend. Dave: [0:32] And best kid in the world, Tara Ariano. Tara: [0:35] Let me sing about it endlessly. Tara: [0:44] welcome to extra extra hot great for another weekend thank you so much for your support and for being here and to all of you who have submitted items on the forstening pool thank you to you as well including yes even you david dickerson you you absolute lunatic Bunkster. Who submitted what we're going to be talking about today, which is Rhapsody Street Kids Believe in Santa. Here is why David submitted it. I quote, one of the most famously terrible Christmas specials of all time with wretched graphics, even for 2002, an audible dialogue, a leaden pace, and somehow the voice talent of Mark Hamill and Nancy Cartwright. It also has not one, but two Disney princesses in the voice cast and a former Mad TV star. It was written and directed by Colin Slater, also the head of the animation studio that produced it. It originally aired in December 2002 on 181 WB affiliates and then never again, supposedly. Dave: [1:53] What happened? Tara: [1:54] There was going to be a soundtrack. There was going to be a sequel. It had its own website. Right. Dave: [1:59] It's a really thought this was going to change a lot of lives. Tara: [2:02] They really did. And there's a lot of like mine. There's a lot of documentation about like what exactly happened here, including like the genesis of the studio. You know, the idea was we need to figure out how to do animation more cheaply in America so that it can happen faster. And this did happen fast, but not good. Not goodly. I think we can agree. Not well. and we'll get into why but let's do the chat check-in sarah should our listeners watch rhapsody street kids believe in santa. Sarah: [2:33] Not the whole thing but the first couple minutes yes because no matter what we say you will not believe it exists at this level of horror until you witness it for yourself but then bail as fast as you can dave. Dave: [2:50] I can co-sign that as long as you don't hold me personally responsible for any fallout like this is a no for me because you think the same thing you thought when you first heard about the star wars holiday special which is that sounds like it's so bad it's going to be great turns out it's so bad that is bad yeah and that's what this is too. Tara: [3:10] I agree. I'm not mad I saw it. It's certainly like an interesting curiosity of internet archiving, but that's not an excuse to. Sarah: [3:19] I'm mad. David Dickerson and I are in a fight. It's pretty bad. Tara: [3:24] It's quite bad. Sarah: [3:25] So bad. Tara: [3:26] Let's just give a little bit of the plot and so the people can hear some clips of what we endured. Ricky, voice of Walter Emanuel Jones, lives on Rhapsody Street. And just to be clear, that is spelled R-A-P-S-I-T-T-I-E. Apparently, for copyright reasons, there was already a Rhapsody spelled like the musical term Street Kids property that had been registered, so they couldn't use it. And this was their workaround, even though in the show, you can see it spelled the normal way on a street sign at one point. Anyway, Ricky, guess what? Likes to rap. Clip one. It was the week before Christmas that I'm talking. I spent the day shopping with my grandma walking. saw a scooter with a motor that was flat. I hope the room in Santa's sleigh just for that. Terrible audio mix. Dave: [4:22] That's not great. Tara: [4:23] Not a great rap, but you know, it's fine enough for kids, I guess, for what it is. Dave: [4:27] I personally think it was whack. Tara: [4:30] Fair enough. Ricky is looking forward to Christmas, not only because it will mean a visit from Santa, but also because he wants to give the most valuable thing he has, a teddy bear that Ricky's mother gave him before the angels took her, as he puts it, to his classmate, Nicole, Paige O'Hara, a.k.a. Belle from the Disney Beauty and the Beast movie. Dave: [4:49] Just to be clear, we're talking about the California Angels. She's now playing with the baseball team. Sarah: [4:55] That's right. Tara: [4:56] Ricky has somehow developed a crush on Nicole, despite the fact that she is an absolutely insufferable bitch. This is a tiny taste, clip two. Oh, hey, that is so cool. I wish I had one. Here. Dave: [5:13] Cool, Lene. Now my gift's the best. It came from the mall. What a cunt. Tara: [5:21] Seriously. Sarah: [5:23] Or she was dropped on her head. Dave: [5:25] Dropped on her chin. Tara: [5:27] Yeah. Dave: [5:29] Giant chin. Sarah: [5:30] Yeah, her giant chin. And shattered the sidewalk in so doing. Dave: [5:35] Yeah. Sarah: [5:35] Yeah, like she is a bitch in the Nellie Olsen mode. Tara: [5:40] Sure. Sarah: [5:40] That's how she's intended. But like the extreme fidelity to only good things come from the mall and that's all I'm ever going to talk about, at least until she's required to have a voltifaz, it is just weird. Like she seems troubled chemically. Dave: [5:59] Well, I mean, I don't want to step on any future clips, but her dad, his only way of expressing himself is to talk about credit card bills that his family runs up and how weirdly proud also that he is about this. It's a weird sort of song. I can't quite sure if dad's angry or happy. I mean, maybe that's just the way he expresses love by paying his credit card bills. Tara: [6:20] Yeah. Dave: [6:21] She's definitely a child of that environment. Tara: [6:23] She is. Also, her dad is the one who is voiced by Mark Hamill. So amid what passed for set pieces and some absolutely unbearable songs, Nicole receives and is extremely unappreciative of Ricky's gift. She reads in Ricky's letter to Santa what the significance of the bear is and then improbably immediately feels bad. She gives a video box. She was gifted to Ricky because she read in his letter that it's what he wanted. I guess this is copyright compliant Xbox. And then goes to sleep Christmas night between the gifts she has now grown and evolved enough to appreciate, even if they weren't expensive and purchased at the mall. I have discussion questions, but did I leave out any important plot points that you guys want to touch on? Dave: [7:09] Just that characters are constantly being hounded by bullies. Yes. Tara: [7:13] There are bullies that are also, even one of the good characters, Smithy, the fat kid with a scarf around his mouth, who gets his sandwich stolen and then later recovered. My sandwich! Exactly. He has multiple times where he's like, girls are dumb, it's bad to like girls. Dave: [7:33] I love creeping on creepy girls. Tara: [7:35] I love creeping on creepy girls is something he says. Dave: [7:38] Yeah. Sarah: [7:38] Yeah, some of these lines of dialogue just seem like the historical documents, like everything about it is stupid. just a tbi production. Tara: [7:47] Yeah so a few years ago dave force and sarah to watch the bizarre pickle and peanut episode mary mocap if we recall that at the time i thought that was as shitty as animation could possibly get this is on a whole other level of fundamental incompetence and apparently it's because it was made in a program called 3d choreographer which at the time the special aired was almost 10 years old yeah dave your thoughts well. Dave: [8:12] It shows absolutely the pickle The Bill and Peanut episode was trying to emulate something kind of from this era, maybe even a little, but even they couldn't make it as crappy as this is. Tara: [8:23] No. Dave: [8:24] To just put you in the mindset, there are eyelids on some of the characters that are as thick as fingers because they couldn't really have the fidelity to make them razor thin, right? So there are eyelids that close like two halves of cantaloupe slowly over eyes when they blink. Nothing happens very fast. Nothing happens with a decent amount of detail. So like you have to watch a little clip, but just like to imagine you're in 2002, you're thinking about the quality of animation in 2002, but you actually have to go back to the mid 90s because that's like the quality of this. Tara: [9:01] Yeah. Dave: [9:01] Imagine it's not somehow in this production. But I was immediately had this sense memory of a big word. Doesn't matter what the word is. It is in canary yellow. It is extruded 3D. And the shading is provided by four different shades of gray. That is the quality that you would see in here. Like the kind of CorelDRA graphics that you would get from this era. Just like slammed on some plastic sign on some terrible store is sort of how it translates into a video. and everything about it is also slow. So the animation cycles that they're using, they'll have a kid walking across the street and it takes them fucking 45 seconds. Sarah: [9:45] And you can only go at right angles. Tara: [9:48] Yeah. Sarah: [9:48] Like it's fucking Oregon Trail or Lemonade Stand. Dave: [9:52] Like Pac-Man. Sarah: [9:53] Yeah, pretty much. Dave: [9:54] We're not selling the pain of the visuals, the pain of the animation. There's no way to do it. Tara: [10:01] No, it's not possible. Sarah: [10:02] No. Dave: [10:03] All we can provide is the terrible audio. Sarah: [10:05] I had nightmares, literal nightmares last night about the characters of color who are just rendered as really, they look like poo. They just look like poo. The bear looks like poo, like a character with poo dreadlocks who looks like a poo with eyes that almost never blink is handing Nicole a poo with a bow around its neck. They don't have knees. They just look like boxes. This is like a copyright compliant version of the money for nothing video. Tara: [10:38] I brought that up yesterday. Sarah: [10:41] So much. It's so much worse. Like, and it's really uncanny and upsetting, like the things that were mapped onto textures in the background using Photoshop, everything's really muddy. It like creates anxiety somehow watching it. everything is off. No one is sitting on a surface correctly. Shadows do not line up properly. Children look like blobs of shit. It's just upsetting. And I did dream about it last night that this polygonal world that I had to get through in this nightmare. And I was really glad to wake up. Dave: [11:17] There's a couple of dogs, guard dogs in the scene where they're going to a junkyard for reasons. I mean, I don't know what they're supposed to be. They kind of look like houndy wiener dogs. They're running around, but they're so low polygon count, low fidelity. They sort of look like when the dog from the thing is sort of like trying to get out of the gooey monster thing in the kennel and it just looks embryonic. It just looks fetal. They look like that. They're terrifying. I mean, as guard dogs, if they actually look like that in universe, that would be the safest car junkyard in the universe. Like there's a lot of upsetting visuals that are just supposed to be holiday things. None of it looks good. Tara: [11:56] No. Dave: [11:56] Like the best rendered thing is a 2D envelope. Tara: [12:00] Yes. Dave: [12:00] In the whole thing. Tara: [12:02] Mm-hmm. Dave: [12:02] Yep. Tara: [12:02] Yeah, it was made for $650,000. It came in under budget. Can you believe it? Dave: [12:07] Mm-hmm. Like there are scenes where characters are talking where they just decide that the mouth can't move anymore and the sentence keeps on going for another 10 seconds. Tara: [12:16] Yep. Dave: [12:17] When the daughter's in the bedroom talking to her mom, she just stops and then it keeps going and the mom's just like moving her arms randomly like a video game selecting screen. It's fantastic. Tara: [12:28] There's a story at Polygon from 2020 about how this extremely weird thing ever came together. It's called The Making of the Worst Christmas Special of All Time, Cosign. We'll link it in the show notes, but one element that sparked a lot of speculation online once this became kind of a cult curiosity was Ricky's great-grandma Fran. She's voiced by Mad TV and Clone High by alumna Debra Wilson. And great-grandma Fran sounds like this, clip three. Sarah: [12:59] Isn't that what Santa does? It was from my heart. Dave: [13:14] Christmas. What you didn't see the first time I watched it was the color draining from my face. What the fuck is happening right now? Sarah: [13:26] Everyone involved in that scene, including the viewer, having a stroke. Tara: [13:31] Yeah. So fans, if you can call them that, speculated that her audio files were corrupted. But the Polygon piece quotes Debra Wilson saying, like, no, that was a choice. They wanted me to sound like that on purpose. Like, she's not doing great. She's really old. it's hard to understand her. So like, this is Grandma Fran Boomhauer, basically. Dave: [13:50] Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't enjoy that. Tara: [13:55] No. Sarah: [13:56] No, me neither. Tara: [13:57] The other voice talent, I already mentioned, Paige O'Hara, who voiced Belle in Beauty and the Beast. Jodi Benson is also in it as a friend of Nicole's. She voiced Ariel in The Little Mermaid. There are also Mark Hamill, Clint Howard, Nancy Cartwright from The Simpsons, as David mentioned. Over the closing credits is a song by Peebo Bryson, who sang the Beauty and the Beast title song with Celine Dion. And per the Polygon story, which is truly wild, this is all just down to Colin Slater being, an incredible schmoozer, like convincing people to do this stuff by just seeming really confident. Dave: [14:29] Yeah. Tara: [14:30] I mean, I hope people got blowjobs because otherwise I don't know why. Dave: [14:33] Well, I looked him up because I was like, what else has this guy done? He's just done stuff for this company. Tara: [14:38] Yes. Dave: [14:39] He died of a stroke, which I was like, that's sad, but kind of feels right. Tara: [14:43] Yeah. Sarah: [14:43] Yeah. And every account of it is like sometime in 2019. It's a little more mysterious. Yeah. Dave: [14:51] The family found him, but we're not quite sure how long he was in the house. Tara: [14:54] Right. Dave: [14:55] The 911 calls out like this. Tara: [15:00] Yeah, many of the people who worked on it and financed it apparently did not see it until it aired. Executive producer James DeLuca did get a VHS tape ahead of time, which is why he declined to attend a premiere party at one of the investors' houses and is quoted in the Polygon story saying, I saw my parents die, and I'm not sure this wasn't as emotionally devastating as that. Dave: [15:22] Yeah. Tara: [15:23] Wow. Sarah: [15:24] When you get to the elementary school, which, oh my God, the most interminable scenes at recess of people just like 90 degreeing through a scene of bullying on a frozen pond while wearing short sleeves, because every character can only be rendered with a single outfit here in Christmas week, where it's cold outside, the sign outside says striving for excellence. Excellence is misspelled. Tara: [15:51] Yeah, I thought that was a joke, but maybe not. Sarah: [15:55] I don't think so. I cannot imagine, like, given what this production thinks actually are jokes. No, I don't think so. Tara: [16:04] So this is the last thing we hear from the younger sister of Nicole's frenemy, Lanae, clip four. My name's Jenna, and I'll be back with the Easter Bunny show. Nope, you won't. Sarah: [16:18] Narrator, she wasn't. The Easter Bunny murdered everyone. Dave: [16:24] Rhapsody Street Kids Arbor Day. Tara: [16:26] Yeah. So that was really an experience we all had. There's a lot you can find in the show notes. We'll link the Wikipedia. Also link to our discussion about Mary MoCap. But Dave actually went to the Internet Archive and looked up the original BelieveInSantaMovie.com from the day. Dave: [16:47] Yeah, they never actually made a site for the show. It just goes to the production company's website, which when you go to the Wayback Machine, the Wayback Machine has to load in their translator for Flash animation, because of course it was a Flash-based website. Wolf Tracer Studios, I think it was called. It's all just like random cyber bullshit. It looks exactly like you think it would look like for a flash site of that vintage. It kind of took me back because that was sort of the era where I was doing a interactive agency. We never would have done something like this because it's terrible. But it's pretty funny to see their other projects as well. Tara: [17:27] Amazing what people can get accomplished if they're just really good at bullshit. Dave: [17:32] Yeah, I dopped my cap, though, to the Twitch streamer who bought that Earl and forwarded it to his streaming site. So good on you. Just one thing, though, that I don't understand. Smithy or Smithy, I'm not quite sure. I heard people saying it different ways and different scenes. He is one of the students. He always has a scarf around his mouth, which is a weird choice, I guess, to just save on mouth animation. Sarah: [17:59] Like Mushmouth and Fed Albert. Dave: [18:01] He, yes, he is always carrying a hoagie around. Tara: [18:06] Yeah. My sandwich. Yes. Dave: [18:09] He never eats it. Tara: [18:10] No. Dave: [18:11] He never does anything with it, but he has it like during class and outside in recess. And then there's one scene where they go into a storage basement for reasons. We're not going to worry about why. And he goes down into it without a sandwich. And then when he pops out of it, he has a sandwich. So either he is hiding his sandwich in his scarf or he's having a basement sandwich. It was very, very worrying. Worrying about Smitty. Sarah: [18:44] Also, the scarf is like stacked incorrectly. So it looks like a red snake is about to eat him. Dave: [18:51] It looks like an upside down Devo hat. You know that Devo hat? Yes. That's like a cigarette. Sarah: [18:56] That's a better comp. You're right. Dave: [18:58] Well, that was terrible, Dave. Thank you. Tara: [19:00] Yeah. Dave: [19:07] Well, speaking about things that are terrible, not this. This is the theme to Ask EHG, something you love. All right, this is an advanced tape, so no judgment this week. Let's get straight into your questions for us. First one comes from Grizzly Claire. A sick day spent binging procedurals with de facto detectives leads me to ask. High Potential's Morgan Guillory versus the titular Elzbeth. Who would you want solving your murder? Who would you want augmenting your closet? Who would win in a battle to the death? All questions we must answer, Tara. First of all, who do you want solving your murder, Morgan or Elsbeth? Tara: [19:59] Morgan, I think she would do it a lot faster, if nothing else. Augmenting my closet, Elsbeth. I think she has more normal pieces. She might not put them together in a normal way, but I cannot wear the skirts that Morgan does that barely cover her butt. And who would win in a battle to the death between Morgan and Elsbeth? I think definitely Morgan. She would kill her with one of her boots. No problem. Sarah? Sarah: [20:23] I would like Elspeth to solve my murder. She has slightly better and more formal access to stuff like LexisNexis. I would like to augment my closet via Morgan. This is really not close. The boots are amazing. The shiny minis are amazing. I can make that work. And who would win in a battle to the death? I agree that it's Morgan. It's not especially close. She's like with the boots on a foot taller than Elspeth and just would not be afraid. Dave: [20:51] Surprising nobody. I misread this. I don't know why. I was supposed to, I thought I was supposed to introduce a other detective into the mix. So that's the answer you're getting. Tara: [20:59] Oh. Dave: [20:59] So for some reason, I want Columbo solving my murder out of these two. Exciting third option, Columbo. So mostly so I can watch from heaven my family's bewilderment at his methods. Who do you want augmenting your closet? I don't really know what the hell I'm thinking. I must have been sick. I must have had the fever. I put Thomas Shelby. He's not even a detective. Sarah: [21:25] What is happening? Dave: [21:27] I don't know. Sarah: [21:28] Oh, my God. Dave: [21:29] Maybe somebody he would be investigating somehow in this crazy world I've created with Columbo in Birmingham in 1913. I don't know. That was augmenting my closet, Tommy Shelby. Who would win in a battle to the death? I mean, it's sad that we'll lose Columbo, but I don't think he's going to win a match against Thomas Shelby. The worst answer yet in ASG. not even close to answering the question. In my defense, we've recorded 17 episodes this week. I have to now process about 10 of those still. AKA Mary Kate asks, which recent scripted show should have a quicksand episode like nearly every show from the 1970s seemed to true? Which characters would get trapped and how would they get out? Sarah? Sarah: [22:14] I understand why we haven't seen Gia Sandu's T'Pring again on Strange New Worlds, but I would love her to get trapped in some quicksand on some contested planet. And a character who is not, Spock, Lon perhaps, gets bottle-episoded into helping her, sort of like that homicide episode with D'Onofrio and the subway train, but with a less divisive ending, is my answer. Dave? Dave: [22:39] The show that I think would match well with the 70s quicksand plot is Poker Face, since it's basically a take on the 70s show Columbo. So then we are able to pick anybody to drown in quicksand because that's their whole shtick. So who are we going to have kind of 70s tinge that could be in peril thanks to quicksand? Well, we got Lee Majors. We've been talking about him recently. I think we've lost most of the good people from Dukes of Hazzard by now I. Tara: [23:10] Think both of the Dukes are still alive I think so. Dave: [23:12] Alright, let's give it a woe pat Yeah. Tara: [23:14] Good call It's gonna be Duster from Duster This is kind of a cheat because it's set in the 70s but he gets stuck in some quicksand he's in a desert show already and his ex-girlfriend who's a truck driver winches him out with her big rig And. Sarah: [23:28] He's gotta take all his clothes off. Tara: [23:31] Because they're sandy Is. Dave: [23:33] There quicksand in the desert? You said that like it's a jungle thing, isn't it? Sarah: [23:37] There's sand. Dave: [23:38] Yeah. Sarah: [23:39] Slow sand. It's quick, right? Yeah. Dave: [23:41] E.C. Fell, do you remember the first show you got to watch via Netflix DVDs back in the day? E.C. Fell was finally seeing season one of The Amazing Race. I can't remember what I did three hours ago. We all heard my answer to the first question. There's no way I'm going to remember what my first DVD on Netflix was. thank you for assuming I could conjure up that memory, but zero chance of that happening. Only thing I remember about Netflix DVDs is stressing out about not watching them fast enough to get my money's worth. Tara: [24:11] Well, I remembered that whatever the Canadian version of Netflix was that we used at the time in the late 2000s when we still lived there, we used it to get The Wire. That's how we watched The Wire originally. Dave: [24:24] Was it not Netflix Canada? Tara: [24:25] No, it was something else. I can look it up while Sarah's talking. Sarah: [24:29] Mine was The Wire as well. I cannot swear that that was the first one because it's multiple presidents ago, but it's the most memorable one from those early days realizing that I could just catch up that way. And I do remember very clearly being incredibly impatient waiting for the Postal Service to show up with the next set of episodes and that I was like having to watch them out of order because there was a like a hold list and all this shit. Anyway, try your library for this stuff. Now it's the new Netflix. Dave: [25:01] Jerviel Jen asks, I've been watching too many Bravo reality shows as my go-to background entertainment to avoid being alone with my thoughts. I want to change that. What shows would you recommend as alternatives? Tara: [25:15] Home makeover shows. You really only have to look up in the last three minutes of any given episode and the rest of the time it's just white noise washing over you. This is also strangely true of RuPaul's Drag Race, where there's a lot of business going on in an episode, but you really just have to watch the challenges and the runway and the judging, and otherwise you're good. So it's good background noise, in my experience. Dave? Dave: [25:41] Well, look, I'm not going to pretend to understand the mind of somebody who mainlines Bravo shows, so this is going to be a bit of a stab in the dark, but I'm going to go with crowd pleaser Frazier, which is great, as we all know, but also very judgy. So I think that might have some crossover with your Bravo shows. Sarah: [25:56] Well, it depends. Do you want to go in a soothing direction? Because then I would recommend Great British Baking Show or Pottery Throwdown. If you want something that's more of a travelogue where you're not going to be tested on it, maybe The Wine Show or Anthony Bourdain Parts Unknown. I don't use it for this because I still get too mad that he's not with us anymore. And if you want something that's true crimey, but mostly about like Richie's being twats, American Greed is always on somewhere. It's the new law and order. And some people in this very house, in fact, find it extremely soothing to the point of like being as effective as golf at inducing sleep. Tara: [26:40] I've been trying to find whatever the Netflix version of in Canada was, and I can't. Sorry. Someone on the boards will remember. Sarah: [26:47] Yeah, movie flicks. I don't know why. Tara: [26:50] Something. Sarah: [26:50] Something super generic. Tara: [26:52] Yeah. Dave: [26:52] Just thought of another one. Should have been my first answer. Ancient aliens. Tara: [26:56] Yeah. Dave: [26:56] Always ancient aliens. Tara: [26:57] Yep. Sarah: [26:58] I say yes. Dave: [26:59] Two from Dr. Calhoun. First one. Podcasts where the cast talk about making the TV show are old news. Uh-oh. The new hotness is podcasts where podcasters talk about making podcasts. What would the extra hot great re-listened podcast be called, Sarah? Sarah: [27:15] Extra reheat grate. Tara? Tara: [27:18] I had almost the same exact thing. Reheating extra hot grate. Dave? Dave: [27:23] Regular tepid okay. Sarah: [27:26] There it is. Dave: [27:28] All right. Our next one from Dr. Calhoun. Just for me. How many EHG minis are there? I keep thinking you will run out, but you haven't yet. Oh, Dr. Calhoun, you sweet summer child. There are 663 minis, and I think I haven't even broken 100 yet. Probably haven't even broken 50 yet. Lots to go. So, Millsnack, what show would you like to have been the casting director for? I'm going to take myself off this because I forgot to answer. Tara. Tara: [27:52] Oz. I think it would be fun to find really great New York theater actors and get them to do the most depraved things anyone has ever thought about. Sarah. Sarah: [28:03] That's so wild that you picked that. Mine was Boardwalk Empire, and it's just like a lot of crossover there. It did a lot of things well, and I liked many, many of the people in that cast. but there were a few avant-garde-level bad choices. Michael Pitt, shopping! Cannaval, who I like him sometimes, but other times he really needs a stronger hand directorially, especially when he's butt naked and splattered in blood in a bordello. So some of those choices felt a little unserious, and I, like Tara, would have liked to pull from that sort of homicide, law and order, Oz theater-verse and make some different choices that weren't. Dave: [28:43] Pasta vega the canadian netflix was called zip.ca that's. Tara: [28:48] It well found. Dave: [28:49] Thank you elsbeth first of three questions that were asked in a row on our discord if you had to dress up as a tv character who would you choose and why sarah as. Sarah: [29:00] Stated earlier in this episode morgan gallery her manicure is always flawless she has a surprisingly endless supply of tall boots they don't look horribly uncomfortable or impossible to run in, and the shiny minis with pockets. No notes. Honorable mention, though, to Princess Margaret in earlier seasons of The Crown. Dave? Dave: [29:21] I'm choosing Melty Captain Pike in his little box from the original series of Star Trek, but with the hair of Captain Pike from Strange New Worlds, so that I can have that hair for a day, but also not to have to walk around a lot. Tara: [29:36] Sure. It's going to be Piper Kerman from Orange is the New Black because she's just in scrubs and they seem comfy. Dave: [29:43] Follow-up question from Seekent. If you had to dress a TV character, who would you choose and why? So we're not dressing like a TV character. We're dressing a TV character now. Sarah, start us off again. Sarah: [29:54] Sydney Bristow. I feel like it's a true challenge to nail that mix of practicality and hilarable undercover fitness. The wigs are always insane, and it just seems like it would really be fun. And Garner seems like she would sort of be a fun hang who was in on that joke. Dave? Dave: [30:12] I'm choosing Jackson Lamb from Slow Horses. I'm not going to dress him up nice. I'm going to dress him up like the mom from Lost in Space in one of her silver HVAC unit covering suits. Very thick silvery material. Because that's funny to me. June Lockhart is alive, apparently. Tara: [30:29] She is. Dave: [30:29] She's 100 years old. Tara: [30:31] Yep. Sarah: [30:31] I only know that because of 902 and OMG. Kill me now. Dave: [30:35] Tara? Tara: [30:36] It's Gus from The Chicken Sisters, the character played by Wendy Malick. Tara: [30:39] Because whenever she wears anything other than her uniform, it's an event. And I would like to pick whatever the special outfit is. Dave: [30:47] Our next one is from Seth. It is the third in our trilogy of dressing and TVs and characters. If you had to dress up your TV set as a character, who would you choose and why Sarah D. Bunting? Sarah: [31:00] Mr. Butler Tron from Clone High. Wesley. Dave: [31:05] I have a similar answer. It is Power Droid from Star Wars, a.k.a. Gonk because he's boxy and he's cool. He is the second best Star Wars character. Tara? Tara: [31:15] Secret horse from close enough because they're shaped more or less the same. Dave: [31:19] All right, everybody, your Ask Ask EASG question this week comes from Damon who asks, which show would you like to see retold from the viewpoint of its antagonist or its villain? Go to Discord. We have a channel there, Ask Ask EASG. You can plop your answer there or if you don't have Discord and you really want to answer, email me david at cole dot f y i and we'll be back in the future with judgment on that one, Dave: [31:46] uh-oh that tiny but fast and high-pitched music can only mean one thing it is time for the tiny no knack presented by yours truly this week it is from ncis season two episode five the boneyard We are talking about the tiny technology canon this week, in particular, characters navally employing hacking countermeasures in this scene, in which NCIS is getting hacked. Uh-oh, they're getting hacked. There is a IT lady, Abby, I think. She's like goth normcore character. Tara: [32:26] Correct. Dave: [32:26] And she can't keep up with the hacking. The hacking is happening so fast. I'm going to play some audio, but then I'm going to have to explain what's happening. No way. I'm getting hats. Oh, not good. We're using our connection to the AFIS database. Severance. I can't. It's a point attack. Listen to that. You sort of like, that's the NCIS of Star Trek going off about tachyons and disruption fields and whatnot, right? Just a lot of techno babble. But what you don't see is Abby getting worried and more worried about the hacking happening at her station. And then some other character guy, he comes in and starts helping her by sharing the keyboard and typing at the same time. She is, he's working one half of the keyboard. He's got Y and U and I and O and P she's dealing with the QWERTY part of the alphabet. Sarah: [33:33] It's like hearts and flowers. Dave: [33:35] They're helping each other at the same time, typing twice as fast to try to keep both the hackers, which is how hacking countermeasures work. If they had three people, that person could handle the space bar, the shift button, but they only had two. Tara: [33:48] Yep. Dave: [33:48] So that's dumb thing number one. Dumb thing number two. Well, dumb thing number two I want to highlight. There are more than two stupid things is they are losing the battle. There is random Windows 95 screens popping up everywhere. I think it's a minesweeper at some point, just like maps of curb fake a stand popping up, just like a random shit that makes no sense that actually what would happen with a hack. Here's a tip, Hollywood. Hacking when it's done well is invisible. We actually don't see windows popping up and like devil masks popping up laughing at you. But here's what happens at the end of the hacking scenario. Sticking in Abby's computer, the entire NCIS network is next. I can't stop him. Do something. Dave: [34:44] I did. That is, at the end, Mark Harmon as Gibbs. And he had the solution of either unplugging the computer, which won't work, Or, as the visuals sort of suggest, just unplugging the monitor. So out of sight, out of mind, no more hacking. And then just like to cap it off, I don't think this was intentional. I really don't. But if it was, it's the only good considered part of this. The NCIS version of the Intel Inside Chime ending the scene. Don't think that was what they were going for, but that's what it reminded me of. Sarah: [35:28] No, I don't think so either. Dave: [35:29] A lot of great dialogue in this one. He's burned through the firewall. Tara: [35:33] Sure. Dave: [35:34] Heard fire, burn. A lot of 60-year-old staff writer going on here. Sarah: [35:40] Yep. Dave: [35:41] Isolate the node. This is a DoD level nine encryption event. A lot of stuff like this happening. absolutely no tech advisor on this episode in the writer's room at all. But the fact that you can stop hacking, first of all, on one computer, like the hacking was isolated to her one computer. They were getting in. We're worried about the network. We just had to unplug this one computer. Not how hacking works, but whatever. But just like the visuals of it, where just like the computer is just having a seizure, just popping up windows for you left and right. This scene has everything that is wrong about hacking portrayals in pop culture. And in addition to that, it's also Trapped in Time. I really enjoyed that the keyboard they're typing on is that plastic lucite clear keycapped keyboard. Terrible, terrible scene. I was sort of hoom and hawing whether this was so good it should go into the canon. Like, is this tiny technology nonac or is this tiny great bad technology canon? And either way, that is my presentation. I think it fits in either bucket. But what say you? Let's start with Tara. Tara: [36:50] This made me laugh out loud. I watched it as soon as you dropped the link in our doc. I assume that you heard me down the hall, like just literal LOL is my first note. It's so stupid. And it is clear, as you said, there was no technology consultant. This was just the direction was talk as loud and fast as you can. we're just going to get through this and no one is going to pause and try to like pay attention to what you're doing. Dave: [37:15] Do you know what it reminded me of the old mitchell and webb skit where they are writers that don't really know what they're talking about they're making a hospital show where you know like oh this patient is doing poorly get the pills that help people that are doing poorly it was like that but faster yeah. Tara: [37:31] It's so idiotic the the keyboard thing is like Like, it's not like playing a duet on the piano. You can't have two people sharing a computer keyboard. Dave: [37:43] But in universe, he's not like, you got to move so I can do it, right? Like, it was, they understood each other that in order to win this, they absolutely had to share this keyboard to work twice as fast. Tara: [37:55] Correct. Dave: [37:55] Like, it was part of Navy training. Tara: [37:58] Right. And whoever wrote this, like, even if they didn't know anything about computers, and clearly they didn't, they wrote it on a computer. Like they know that. Are you sure? Dave: [38:08] Yeah. Sarah: [38:08] Because I'm not convinced of that. Tara: [38:09] I guess you're right. Anyway, yes, this is this is completely ridiculous and awful and hilarious. I would love to know how you came across this in your travels. Dave: [38:19] Oh, you know what it was? It was the last time we talked about, and the only thing this scene is missing, a clear monitor presentation. Tara: [38:26] Ah, sure. Sarah: [38:27] Oh, yeah, sure. Dave: [38:28] That whole thing, where if you're on the bleeding edge, you have a monitor you can see through, which is impractical to the extreme. Tara: [38:34] What no one would ever want. Dave: [38:35] And it came up during that. Tara: [38:37] I see. Very good. Sarah. Sarah: [38:39] This was written by middle-aged writers who have emails printed out and read to them by comely assistants. Period. End of story. But at the same time, I think putting it in the tiny cannon is an option because there is a confidence, which I think is correct and earned, that the audience for this naval program is not going to get caught up in any of this and that if you run fast enough out over the canyon in this case, you will in fact get to the butte on the other side. like you could just why lead this shit and then you will land because there is no break in the typing they're just like arpeggio typing there's not a carriage return there's not a let's try this line of code and see what happens like there's no cause and effect thing they're just spraying keystrokes and returning fire at this spray of pop-up windows that is happening in colors that no windows monitor i saw in that era ever had i think i saw bob that or whatever the paper clip. Dave: [39:46] Oh clippy not microsoft bob. Sarah: [39:48] Yeah rip oh but also bob may have been ripping a bong hit i don't know what was going on but this is definitely like written by middle-aged people for middle-aged people who are not going to care that how you did you try turning it off and turning it on again, is A, not going to work, and B, does not happen at the power chord level. But as a result, it was brilliant because they give it to the gothy... hip young character giant air quotes and they're just like well this it doesn't really this doesn't really matter it's not important we just need to get to the next thing where jethro solves the problem navally and then we move on to the part of the story navally. Dave: [40:32] The most realistic thing about that scene though and speaking to the people that you conjecture right at which you are 100 right is right in the middle of the two clips another agent walks up with a sandwich takes a bite In between the two people furiously typing on the keyboard, he's basically, hey, what's going on, guys? He's just eating a bologna sandwich. It's just like, well, okay, that part feels true. Sarah: [40:55] Yeah. Excellent presentation. And if you want to change it to the Canon section, I would have no objection, but either way, it's getting my vote. Dave: [41:02] I think it's more fitting for the NoNAC. As a Canon, it's not good TV. It's just bad good TV. And this is a terrible presentation of technology, and that's where I want it to live. Sarah: [41:11] Yeah, mediocre, but confident in its effectuality and correctly so. Dave: [41:16] All right. Tara Arianna, what say you for the no-knack? Tara: [41:19] Yay. Dave: [41:19] Sarah D. Bunting? Sarah: [41:21] Yay-villy. Dave: [41:22] All right. Votes are in. So, navally employing hacking countermeasures from NCIS. You are hereby inducted into the extra hot, great, tiny technology, no-knack. Tara: [41:32] Yay-villy. Dave: [41:44] This is a pre-tape, so we put aside Not Quite Winners and Losers of the Week and bring in our Not Quite Top 11 list. I will go first with the Not Quite Top 11 Translated Foreign TV Show titles repackaged as a mini game time. Tara: [42:00] Do you know what time it is, guys? Sarah: [42:02] It's mini game time. Dave: [42:10] All right. I have 10 shows. I'm going to read you one or some of the titles translated back into English from foreign lands. You guess the actual TV show. We'll start with Sarah D. Bunting. Only one translated title from this one. It comes from Germany, where it is known as Behind the Moon, Just to the Left. What TV show is that? Sarah: [42:34] Behind the Moon, Just to the Left. Yes. Oh, wow. For All Mankind? Dave: [42:40] Tara, can you pick this one up? Tara: [42:43] Star Trek? Dave: [42:45] Third Rock from the Sun. Tara: [42:47] Oh, of course. Dave: [42:48] All right, Tara, start us off with, from Germany, Terribly Nice Family. Tara: [42:55] Modern Family. Dave: [42:57] Sarah D. Bunting, you get Pigeons from Estonia. Same show. Terribly Nice Family and Pigeons. Sarah: [43:06] I want to say the Chicken Sisters, but I'm not doing it. Seventh Heaven. Dave: [43:10] Last clue from Croatia. Terribly Nice Family, Pigeons, Matrimonial Waters. Tara: [43:18] Mad About You? Dave: [43:20] All right. Sarah, we'll let you get a guess at that one. Sarah: [43:23] Brady Bunch. Dave: [43:25] Married with Children Terribly Nice Family I think Pigeons and the Waters Come from the Credits Okay I think that's where those probably All right No points so far This one goes back to Sarah D. Bunting From Brazil It's Round 6 Round 6 This is a tough one, Round 6 Yeah Battlestar Galactica Turn Who's the boss All right Another guess Sarah Want to take another crack Oh wait Wait, before you guess, it's a Netflix show. Sarah: [43:57] Round six? Yeah, no, that doesn't really help me. Orange is the New Black. Dave: [44:02] All right, last guess, Tara. Tara: [44:03] Squid Game? Dave: [44:04] Squid Game is correct. Conjecture is because squid is Lula in Brazilian Portuguese, and that's the name of the president that they changed it to round six there. All right, one point so far. We are back to Tara to start off from Serbia, Pure Chemistry. Tara: [44:22] Big Bang Theory? Dave: [44:25] From the Czech Republic, Sarah, same show, Gingerbread Daddy. Sarah: [44:31] Breaking Bad. Dave: [44:32] Breaking Bad is correct. Tara: [44:34] Nice. Dave: [44:34] Gingerbread is slang for meth there. So you got Gingerbread Daddy, Meth Daddy. Sarah: [44:38] I thought it was because Cranston was a ginger, but no. Dave: [44:42] One point apiece. All right, Sarah, start us off. From Sweden, company monkey business and construction. Sarah: [44:50] Home improvement. Dave: [44:52] From Slovenia, Tara. Weaned relatives. Tara: [44:57] Sopranos? Dave: [44:58] All right. Back to Sarah. Another guess. Sarah: [45:02] Succession. Dave: [45:03] Last guess, Tara. Tara: [45:05] In construction. God. Flintstones. Sarah: [45:11] I love that. Dave: [45:12] All right. This is a Fox show. Big during the TWAP period, for sure. It is Arrested Development. Tara: [45:18] Oh, right. Dave: [45:18] Company, monkey business, and construction weaned relatives. All right. Tara, start us off. Brazil. Tara: [45:25] Yep. Dave: [45:26] Bard from the dance. Bard from the dance. Tara: [45:30] Never have I ever. Dave: [45:33] Sarah D. Bunting from Spain. Feeling of living. Sarah: [45:37] Bard from the dance. Feeling of living. Younger. Dave: [45:41] Last guess, Tara. Tara: [45:46] 30-something. Dave: [45:48] Alaska Sarah. Sarah: [45:50] Somebody somewhere. Dave: [45:53] That is incorrect. The show you're looking for was Beverly Hills 90210. Sarah: [46:00] Oh, no. Dave: [46:02] All right. No points there. Sarah D. Bunting, start us off from Brazil. A stranger in paradise. Sarah: [46:12] Stranger in paradise. Lost. Dave: [46:18] Tara from Poland, Life on the Wave. Tara: [46:22] Royal Pains. Dave: [46:25] Sarah from Portugal, In the Land of the Rich. Stranger in Paradise, Life on the Wave, In the Land of the Rich. Sarah: [46:35] I can't. What is the actual name of Dr. Fuckboat? Dr. Odyssey. Tara: [46:40] Shit, that's what I was going to say. Dave: [46:42] Last guess. Sarah: [46:43] Sorry. Tara: [46:45] Fantasy Island. Dave: [46:47] Does anybody have any other guesses? Tara: [46:49] No. Dave: [46:50] It feels like we're out on. Tara: [46:52] Love Boat. Dave: [46:52] Love Boat? No, not Love Boat. Last guess, Tara. Tara: [46:55] Below Deck? Dave: [46:58] Not that. Not a wave out in the ocean. A wave at shore. This is the O.C. Tara: [47:04] Oh, okay. Dave: [47:06] All right. Three more to go. Tara, start us off from Croatia. This might be an easy one. Two meters below the Earth. Tara: [47:13] Six feet under. Dave: [47:14] Six feet under is correct. Sarah, start us off. Germany, small deals among neighbors. Sarah: [47:23] Small deals among neighbors. Love it or list it? Dave: [47:31] All right. Tara, I want you to guess on this one too. So small deals among neighbors. See if you get it. Tara: [47:35] Oh, man. Desperate housewives. Dave: [47:37] All right. Sarah. Sarah: [47:38] That would have been my next guess. Dave: [47:39] From Hungary, Nancy sitting on the grass. Small deals among neighbors. Nancy sitting on the grass. Sarah: [47:49] Is this Benson? Tara: [47:51] Oh, I just got it. Weeds. Dave: [47:53] Weeds, yes. Sarah: [47:54] Nancy Botwin sitting on the grass. Nice. Dave: [47:57] All right, one left. I think Tara's clinched it, but let's play it out. Sarah: [48:00] I think so. Dave: [48:01] Wrapping up with Tara going first with Japan's Beloved of the Crucifix. Tara: [48:07] The Handmaid's Tale. Sarah. Sarah: [48:11] Beloved of the Crucifix. is this seventh heaven. Dave: [48:15] No another guest star big show big show on the top days too joan. Tara: [48:21] Of arcadia would never be that. Sarah: [48:24] Sarah jane the virgin. Dave: [48:26] Nope let's go let's keep going let's see if you get it i'll make up start making up titles after this one. Tara: [48:33] Oh oh the crucifix, And it was big in TWAP days. Oh, is this Buffy? Dave: [48:41] This is Buffy, yes. Sarah: [48:42] Oh, nice. Dave: [48:43] All right, that is my not-quite-top-11 translated foreign TV shows repackaged as a mini-game time. Sarah, what do you got for us? Sarah: [48:51] I have not quite 11 actors who are named Nick listed in order of decreasing suitability for the role of Santa Claus in a Hallmark film. Tara: [49:02] Nice. Dave: [49:02] This is especially deranged for you, Sarah. Tara: [49:04] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Sarah: [49:05] Number one, Nick Offerman. Tara: [49:08] Yep. Sarah: [49:08] Number two, Nick Searcy, played part on Justified. Tara: [49:12] Yep. Sarah: [49:12] Number three, Nicholas Pryor, aka Chancellor Arnold Arnold on 90210. Tara: [49:17] May he rest. We miss him. Sarah: [49:19] Yep. Number four, Nicholas Colisanto, coach on Cheers. Number five, Nick Cannon, rapper and TV host. Maybe he should be higher. He does have, like, literally all the children. Tara: [49:29] I mean, he is Father Christmas in a sense. Sarah: [49:32] Mm-hmm. Number six, Nicholas Koster, Matthew Perry's dad on 90210. Everyone else knows him from Santa Barbara. Tara: [49:39] We miss him too. Sarah: [49:40] We do. Number seven, Nick Jonas. Number eight, Nick Kroll. Number nine, Nick Wexler of Revenge, recently tech bro Red Herring on High Potential. And number 10, the least suitable actor, I think, of any name to play Santa Claus in a Hallmark film, Nick Stahl of Carnaval and Fear the Walking Dead. Dave: [50:04] I thought number one might have been the guy from Game of Thrones, Nikolai Waller-Dumphy. Tara: [50:10] Walder Costo. Sarah: [50:11] Yeah, I considered that. And Nicholas Lee was also in the mix. This might come back next year. Dave: [50:18] I enjoyed that list very much. Tara: [50:20] Yeah, that's good. Dave: [50:21] Tara. Tara: [50:21] My list is the not quite top 11 most Italian character names on Alyssa Milano's IMDb profile. Well, she turns 53 the day this episode drops. So happy birthday to Alyssa Milano and the many very Italian characters she has played. Dave: [50:37] Is her mom still looking after her public image? Tara: [50:41] If she is, she's not doing a great job. I'll say that. Sarah: [50:44] I will also add her IRL name is quite Italian. She technically is Mrs. Bougliari. Tara: [50:51] Nice. Okay. So these are just in chronological order of when she played them. Number one, Samantha Maselli. of course. Number two, Sylvia Valiste. Number three, Lily Leonetti. Number four, Jennifer Mancini. Number five, Alyssa Milano. Many times she's played herself or a version of herself. Number six, just named Allegra. Number seven, Patti Montanari. Number eight, Scarlett Rossetti. Number nine, Dora Angioli. Number 10, the most recent and also most Italian, Pupetta Del Ponte from Ilesbeth. Sarah: [51:28] Love that. Tara: [51:29] Manja. Tara: [51:36] Welcome in, grandpas. Happy holidays to you. Our last episode before Christmas, and we are gifting you this. It is TV's Worst Accents from Erica. Erica writes, there are a whole lot of bad Irish accents out there. What are your two favorite or most hated bad non-Irish accents out there? I'm not totally sure why this is the qualifier. Dave speculated It was because we talked about David Boreanaz's terrible Irish accent in the- We. Sarah: [52:09] Just had to disqualify potato lad. Tara: [52:12] Sure. I think that's probably the- In the Buffy episode, amends. So maybe that's why. It also may be that Erica is Irish and therefore has a particular affinity for these. Dave: [52:20] She's a leprechaun. Tara: [52:21] Who knows? But we have each brought two examples with clips, and I certainly did not do favorite. I did most hate it. Yeah, me too. Dave: [52:31] But I do favorites. Tara: [52:32] Yeah. I'll go first. Why don't I? Dave, play my first clip. I spent centuries. Sarah: [52:40] Sacrificed everything for Christine, knowing we could go back, gathering the courage. Dave: [52:47] Well, I had the courage. Is that from The New Adventures of Old Christine? Tara: [52:51] No, that is from Marvel's What If? It is, of course, Benedict Cumberbatch doing his terrible American accent as Doctor Strange. Originated as a movie bad accent, but crossed over to be a TV bad accent. And one of my most hated, you can tell when he gets to everything. Usually playing angry is when the true accent comes out. And that's definitely true here. But he's consistently awful, in my opinion. So yeah, number one, Dave. Dave: [53:25] All right. Absolutely. For exactly the same reasons. And you give me a chance to bag on it. I will because I feel like I've taken crazy pills anytime anyone says that Hugh Laurie in House was doing a very good American accent. Sarah: [53:39] Exactly the same reason. It was on my long list. Dave: [53:41] And House is always angry. So he's always a little bit off. Tara: [53:46] Yeah. Dave: [53:46] And I didn't bring a clip because everybody knows what House sounds like. But that is always going to be my number one answer, Irish or non-Irish. I don't care what bucket we're putting these into. It always annoyed me. Not because it is like a super terrible accent. It's because the praise he gets for it being a great accent makes me angry because it really isn't. Tara: [54:07] I agree. And whatever he was taught, Benedict Cumberbatch seems to have taken from the same bad lessons because they both have a slightly mushy like on their S's too. So, yeah, I agree. Hugh Laurie, legendarily bad and wildly overpraised for how shitty it is. Dave: [54:27] Yeah, again, I don't think he's legendarily bad. I just think he's bad, but absolutely overpraised. Tara: [54:31] Well, he did a lot of it. Sarah: [54:33] I don't think it's even bad. I just think it's deranged that you couldn't get him to just train him up on a Jersey accent. That's where it's supposed to be. Okay, mine is not that, but it was on my long list. Here's Michael Rappaport on Justified. This clip isn't even that bad, but you get a whole buffet of where the fuck are we? Clip one. It hurts real good. here, huh? Back home, we just feed them to the gators. That's not how anyone from any part of the world would say gators, except a guy who fucking sits courtside at Knicks games with Spike Lee. You are not Southern. There wasn't a single other actor you could find for this. Tara: [55:34] Back home in Bensonhurst, we put him in the swamp. Okay. Sarah: [55:37] Oh my God. Bees knees. And oh man, like Alicia Witt, I also thought was kind of bad in the season until I looked it up and like she actually has the bona fides for this part of the country. But hers is like so far pulled back from wherever this is that it seems also bad. I don't know how to explain it. Like of all people to be on that show. Anyway. Dave: [56:04] Do you think he was watching Deliverance as Prep? Sarah: [56:08] Moving on. Tara: [56:09] Well, I considered both Harry Gilpin as Roz from Frasier and Gene Turner as Maggie from Northern Exposure because they are both from Texas and both playing characters from Wisconsin, bizarrely. Or wait, one is from Wisconsin, one's from Michigan, but both Midwestern, same diff, and neither of them trying at all to disguise their Texas accents. but when it comes to a terrible non-irish accent i gotta go with this one it's your clip oh it. Sarah: [56:39] Disgusts you don't seem so fucking disgusted when you're spending my money, Oh, come on, what, the money is irrelevant to you? Tara: [57:00] Haystack. And you're just some fucking dumb hipster who's munching my hay. That is Irishman Chris O'Dowd trying to sound American in Girls. Dave: [57:13] Why? Tara: [57:14] In a scene with an English woman, lucky enough to play an English woman. So, you know, that can't have made it easier for him. But like, you can't even tell what he's really supposed to be doing without the context of the scene. It's so far from the mark. Yeah, you just need a little explanation up top of like why he is Irish and here, much like in every Jean-Claude Van Damme movie where they're like why he's a Belgian person in America. But they didn't. They did this. Dave. Carl. Carl. Carl. Carl. Carl. Carl. Where is Carl? Dave: [57:51] Carl. Carl. Carl. Carl. Carl. Carl. Carl. Carl. Carl. You're a man. Carl. That's Andrew Lincoln in The Walking Dead trying to get out Carl. but never quite succeeding and failing in many different ways. Carl. Carl. Sarah: [58:19] Carl. Tara: [58:21] Yeah, it sounds like it hurts every time. That's an amazing supercut. Dave: [58:25] Yeah. All right, I'm done. Tara: [58:28] Sarah. Sarah: [58:29] Okay, well, I frankly can't believe that this wasn't taken. And I'd just like to note that I had a number of guys I watched in English shows being on American Prestige shows on usually HBO and like having scenes where they get really pissed and just being very obviously not from America, Matthew McFadden, McNutty. But I'm here to talk about a man who's playing two characters in a single scene. A man with a shelf for a head and a lot of prosthetic makeup on. In my heart, his name is Heine, clip two. Tara: [59:07] You couldn't return the ring because you still love the girl. I think I'm ready now, sir. Sarah: [59:15] Okay. Do you want cash or maybe an exchange? Take. Dave: [59:39] Years of making love into metal, you get a feeling for such things. No. Sarah: [59:46] No. Ladies and gentlemen, that is Jason Priestley playing Brandon Walsh and Heine, the German jeweler. in late stage Beverly Hills 90210. Dave: [59:57] Yikes. Sarah: [59:57] The character is returning a ring that he gave to Kelly Taylor. And everything about it is, why bother to do this if once you have 16 pounds of latex on your face, making it impossible to do the German accent you're obviously not that good at in the first place? Why would you half-ass it this way? I think he also directed this episode, but he didn't direct himself to make eye contact with himself in either guise. So it just looks very the monkeys in terms of professionalism. Like that episode when Davy found his secret twin who was a prince. Yeah. And they used like a mop with a wig on it. That would have been more entertaining than this. But oh my God, like this was my first thought. And I was shocked all over again at how just insultingly bad it is. Tara: [1:00:47] Yep. Sarah: [1:00:47] Fuck you, Jason Priestley. I hate you for this. Dave: [1:00:50] I was sort of expecting Hogan at the end. Tara: [1:00:53] Yes. Dave: [1:00:55] Yikers all right guys that is tv's worst accents non-irish edition, Dave: [1:01:02] and that is also it for this episode of extra extra hot great we were in rhapsody but not the kind you want over on rhapsody street kids believe in santa before answering your burning ass ehg questions like what show needs a good heaping helping of quicksand dave hacked the ehg tiny Technology Known Act to get NCIS's keyboard team up. Into that, we celebrated three not-quite-top-11 lists and wrapped it all up with a look at some of TV's worst, non-Irish, accents. Next up, something great. Remember, we're listening. I am David T. Cole, and on behalf of Tari Ariano. Tara: [1:01:48] And I didn't think it could get any colder. Dave: [1:01:51] And Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah: [1:01:53] Look at me. My room is spotless. Dave: [1:01:55] Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll see you next time right here on Extra Extra Hot Great. Merry Christmas, everybody. Grinness emoji.