How Did We Find Finding Mr. Christmas?

Dave: [0:10] This is the Extra Extra Hot Great Podcast, episode 323 for the November 2nd, 2024 weekend. I am Hot and Bothered co-host David T. Cole, and I'm here with biggest ornament you've ever seen, Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah: [0:31] That's what he said. Dave: [0:32] And the girlfriend your buddy met in wreath-making class, Tara Ariano. Tara: [0:36] Oh, we broke up. Dave: [0:43] Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Extra Extra Hot Great. Before we get into the excitement that is finding Mr. Christmas, I do have one piece of pod business, and it is really for one person, probably. And that person emailed me a while ago and said, if you had a higher dollar amount in the Patreon tier system, I would gladly pay that because I walk around town with those two sacks of money with the dollar sign on it. And I was like, Like, oh, okay, sure. I mean, that's easy to do. And then I forgot about it for forever. So if you're that guy, I finally did it. So now there is the 5, 10, 20, and using the power of exponents, we now have the $40 level, which is the Monty level. Tara: [1:23] Oh. Yes. Dave: [1:25] So for that one guy, and if anybody else wants to support us to the $40 tune, absolutely. This isn't us saying we're worth $40 a month. And this is us saying thank you very much to that one person who wants to do that for us. So that is there now for Patreon. And the reason why we have to do the tiers is you don't get the perks unless you're on a absolutely named tier. You can't just say $40, type it in, and it'll work. You'll give us $40 and get nothing in return. That's why I had to create the Monty level. All right. That is Monty level out of the way. Thank you very much to that one guy. Tara: [2:06] Okay. We're here to discuss, as Dave already said, Finding Mr. Christmas. So Hallmark holiday movies have become an important sector of the U.S. economy. The hot chocolate swillers at Crown Media found a way to spin them off into a whole new genre. In Finding Mr. Christmas, a group of 10 actual and aspiring actors move into a festive chalet and compete in a series of challenges to test their holiday spirit. Those are the mini challenges. They're called festive face-offs. And their acting talent, that's the main challenge, star quality. In each episode, one contestant is eliminated with the last hunk standing securing a role in a future Hallmark holiday movie. Repeat Hallmark movie star Jonathan Bennett, who you may know from Mean Girls hosts, with Happy's Place and Reba star Melissa Peterman assisting with Judge Duties and various, That sounded like Judge Judy's. No, Judge Duties. And various Hallmark stars rotating through to participate in the star quality challenges. Two episodes dropped October 31st with more coming weekly on Thursdays. But don't try to set your DVR because this show is on the new streaming platform, Hallmark Plus. Let's do the Chen check-in. Sarah, should our listeners watch Finding Mr. Christmas? Sarah: [3:25] Well, I don't know if they should pay extra, but if I didn't have to pay extra, I would keep watching it. Tara: [3:32] Okay. Sarah: [3:32] I liked it. Dave: [3:33] If you could fly to Alberta. Tara: [3:36] Dave. Dave: [3:37] Look. There's only two Mr. Christmases that I'm worried about. One is Jesus Christ. Tara: [3:43] Sure. Dave: [3:44] Two is his brother Santa Claus. This is fine. Tara: [3:49] Yeah. Dave: [3:49] It is not plus tier material. But as these type of you can win a spot on our network reality competition shows go, and it pains me that that is a segment of a segment that I know exists. Sarah: [4:03] Yeah. Dave: [4:03] This is okay. It's not a disaster. The actual second, and we'll get into it, the actual second competition of this episode was actually pretty well constructed for a reality show. Sarah: [4:15] I thought. Tara: [4:16] Yeah, if you're already signed up for Hallmark Plus, this is your shit. Dave: [4:20] What's Plus? What do you get for Plus? What do you get for your money? Tara: [4:22] I assume you get all of the movies ever, because as it is now, they're scattered across a number of different services. Like some are on Peacock, some are on Prime, some are on, I mean, Netflix makes its own, and I think they get some of them too. I may be wrong about that, but like they're just around. And if you're a cord cutter and you know how I feel about that, then you're not going to get access to everything. Whereas this is like, if you just want to put your box on and just have it run these movies, like starting today, November 1st, you know, this is what it's for. And so if you're into that shit, this is a show for you, especially the part where various Hallmark stars come through. So yeah, I agree. It was competently done and more engaging than I had expected. So yes, same. Dave: [5:08] I was expecting a D. I got a B. Tara: [5:10] Yeah. Sarah: [5:10] Yeah. Tara: [5:11] And that's that's worth saying. Sarah: [5:13] I mean, the world needs B reality also. Yes, I guess. Tara: [5:20] Absolutely. There's been a fair amount of coverage over the past few years of how Hallmark is bringing diversity to its movies and differentiating themselves from the much more wholesome Great American Family Network, yet I was still a little scandalized that one guy was taking away from his pregnant girlfriend, not wife. Dave: [5:38] Great American Family, I don't know what that is, but I assume it's some Christian-leaning version of Hallmark. Tara: [5:42] Correct. Dave: [5:43] Where they wave to each other from across the room and that's the end of the show. Sarah: [5:45] It's the OAN to Hallmark's Fox. Tara: [5:48] Yes. Sarah: [5:48] That's probably mean to Hallmark. Dave: [5:50] Sweetie, I love you. I love Christmas. I love Jesus Christ. And I will let you into the voting booth with me. Great American family. Tara: [5:59] I have not watched any of their program, even though Jenny Garth has been in, I think, more than one of their holiday movies. Dave: [6:06] When you vote alone, you vote with the devil. Tara: [6:10] Right. Back to my question or my observation, which is Elijah just putting it out on Front Street. my girlfriend is pregnant and we are not married. And I was like, oh my God, Hallmark. Look at you acknowledging adult human relationships in the year 2024. Was anyone else struck by that or just me? Sarah: [6:30] I guess I was not scandalized by that or just didn't notice it, forgetting that for Hallmark, that is a pretty great leap. I did notice that Jonathan Bennett and one of the contestants, one of the aspiring Christmases, were pretty open about sexuality and it not necessarily like, you know, this is acting and very PG most of the time acting. So that was not refreshing, but a little surprising that they just sort of were like, okay, well, sometimes this is an issue and just move on. So that was cool, I guess, for Hallmark. Tara: [7:10] Yeah, they've been doing stories with queer leads, who's the actor and character are queer, like for a few years now. I don't think this is the first. Sarah: [7:20] Oh, good. Tara: [7:21] There's one where it's like Christmas with the Gunkles or something. That was one of the Jonathan Bennett ones. Sarah: [7:26] God. Tara: [7:27] All right. Did think it was like they didn't try to rewrite the scene for Daxton to be like, oh, yeah, I'm looking to meet my new best. Like, whatever. They didn't change it. I gotta rewind. Dave: [7:39] Christmas of the Guncles, is that like, It's a bunch of gay uncles coming over for Christmas? Tara: [7:44] Yes. Dave: [7:44] Okay. Tara: [7:45] I believe that's right. Dave: [7:46] All right. Tara: [7:47] I know Gunkle is in the title somewhere. That might not be exactly it. Dave: [7:50] Wow. Tara: [7:51] I mean, someone's got to keep Jonathan Bennett in eyebrow grooming, and it's Hallmark, apparently, because he's going to the salon every other day based on what I saw in this episode. I'll say that. Dave: [8:04] I don't like watching Hallmark, but I enjoy talking about Hallmark for some reason. A lot of it is born out of ignorance of what's going on. And I'd like to find out about it real time in the podcast. So I have a lot of questions. Tara: [8:13] Okay, fair enough. Dave: [8:14] So Gunkel's scratching it off my list. Tara: [8:16] Yeah. I appreciate it too, the cohesion of having a crafting mini challenge where they have to customize ugly Christmas sweaters to like tell their story with craft before a main challenge about taking a wreath making class. That's the premise of the scene that they have to act with. What's her name? Who comes in? Doesn't matter. But as Dave noted, it really was a smart way to showcase people's natural charm in a scene. The idea is that the two guys have to act at the same time with the star and they have to learn lines, but they also are encouraged to like, you know, make it your own. And they do in various ways. And so Dave, speak on that because you said after it was over that you were surprised at how. Effective it was. Dave: [8:58] Yeah it was just a very efficient way of getting to everybody's strengths and weaknesses really fast in probably what is the most important test which is how you're going to do on camera right because it's great you have a backstory and whatever happened to your house when you were a kid and now that's why you're a firefighter and that's why you have a burning house on your sweater you weirdo but yikes when you're in front of the camera and it turns out you can't act for shit and you have a lot of ideas about what acting is and they're all joey tribiani school of acting tips smelling the fart pausing for 10 seconds between lines that kind of stuff it's important as a as a task to basically you know separate the wheat from the chaff like right away and that's what it did and you could see who is going to be there in the second half of the series already for sure from that one challenge and it was smart because they paired up people. So now you are automatically sort of generating little clicks and teams and buddies the way that they did it, where they brought in a veteran actor from Hallmark movies and they just had them do like a two minute scene. They half improv, half scripted, just really brought out who's who in the talent pool. Tara: [10:12] Yeah. Her name is Erin Cahill, by the way. Sarah. Sarah: [10:15] These are the skills that you're going to need in microcosm. And it's like, all right, you are going to have to learn like these things shoot in what four days yeah i mean not to impugn hallmark's commitment to quality but i can't imagine it's like a two-month shoot for any of these it's like we sprayed down some hill the outside uh medicine hat with snow and we're gonna walk around and you're gonna be done by thursday like okay good nothing. Dave: [10:43] Grows on that hill for the next 20 years. Sarah: [10:45] Yeah exactly Exactly. Sarah: [10:47] But I thought it was really well, first of all, edited very skillfully and a lot, but not sort of over-edited in that America's Next Top Model, this is absolutely hopeless except for two of these models trying to do the cover girl spot or whatever. Like you got the point you saw enough of what each contestant could do and then they would cut to sort of behind the camera where the judges are talking in a fairly processy way yeah about here's why this is good here's why this is like not necessarily the brand and i thought that throughout the show that was actually quite good that it was like a little bit more sort of useful information about what Hallmark is looking for in this competition versus like, oh, cute. Oh, he has an 88 pack of abs. That felt very process-y to me, which of course I enjoy. And it did make me think it's too bad that you're putting this behind the paywall, actually, because this would induce me to go see what is behind the paywall starring whoever wins this. So yeah, the paywall is a problem for this show. And if that didn't exist, I would recommend it. But it's way better done than I had any right to expect. Tara: [12:16] I'll also say, so obvious to me that Isaac was the weakest contestant, like his first line or his attempt at it. Hey, have you ever been to a wreath before? Like it's no, it's a wreath making class. Everyone's been to a wreath. That makes no sense. Like he just was way too nervous. And he's paired with this guy, Blake. He pairs himself with Blake because he had gained he won the previous challenge with his burning sweater weird. And he got to make the teams and decide the order. And so there's sort of like the judges are surprised that Isaac wants to go last. And I was too. But then they're like, okay, well, he can see what everybody else did. So that might be kind of an advantage too it could be if he was good but he's really bad and so when he then is eliminated I'm like oh my god they're really trying to find the best person they're not just making decisions based on drama wow how refreshing yeah. Sarah: [13:10] I mean, it was interesting, but it's that kind of like, if another episode queued up, you'd keep watching it. And if it didn't, then you're just going to go do something else and probably forget about it. It's kind of a shame because it was kind of good. Tara: [13:26] Yeah. Before we close this up, I do have to give a shout out to our winner, Hayden, who was the Australian import, because the thing he does that they love in his scene is one of his lines is like, oh, I didn't get any ribbon because it's like a ruse to try and get the girl instructor to help him more. And he'd like improvs tossing it over his shoulder. And they're like, ooh, that's amazing. And like, it's a cute bit. But at the same time, he's a children's entertainer. Like they have pictures of him back in Australia like doing parties. I was like, of course he has an advantage here because a lot of the things you do to engage a crowd of children at a birthday party are also going to engage a crowd of people watching a Hallmark movie who are like, maybe they're not looking to be real challenged by this material. So I thought that was good. But I could have done with about 40% less of his sob story about losing his dog because he has to keep saying, like, the dog is alive. It's just with my ex-wife now. It's like, okay, then don't make a headband with your dog's name on it because you can still go see the dog. Relax. I mean, that intro, that beginning. Improv. Fantastic. Dave: [14:47] Well, well, well, I guess it's time for everybody's favorite segment with everybody's favorite theme is Ask E.A.S.G. Ask E.A.S.G. All right, let's deal with last week's Ask, Ask, EHG. Your judge is Sarah. Sarah: [15:15] It is. Hello. Last week's question was inspired by Mopsiukas sitting in the car behind a flooring company truck at a red light. Mopsiukas asks, or orders us, you're creating a show in which the lead has an underrepresented everyday profession. It's not necessarily a workplace show, more a mix like Frasier. And we should know we're Frasier. What profession would you highlight and who is your lead? We have a couple of listener answers. Erica says we've gotten a few memorable TV librarians, especially in the form of badder ass than they look nerds in fantasy and supernatural shows. But A, they're not usually the main character. And B, not everyone who works in a library is a librarian. Sarah: [16:06] The true bamfs of the library are the people who work in the circulation desk. They have to deal with fines, signing library cards, and getting asked every question under the sun by people who do not appreciate it, that's all upcapped, when you attempt to redirect them to the information desk. Erica's series is called Flow, and our main character, Roy Shipley, is just starting his new job as a circulation assistant at the Alexandria, Virginia Public Library. Hmm, could this be personal? After moving to the area from overseas, he's played by William Gow of Heartstopper, as I think he's great at the tone slash facial expression people deploy when they're being asked a truly out of left field question. Sarah: [16:48] From Sophia Brooks, quote, we need a college theater department office comedy. I disagree. Somewhat like Third Rock from the Sun, but the department coordinator is trying to keep everyone together. And you have the department head who is trying to make avant-garde theater with the students and the production director who is a boomer and the costume and props people also trying to keep it in their worlds. And this might be my life, but the department secretary just keeps it all together. Like Katherine Hahn in Crossing Jordan. Amazing deep cut reference for that one. Thank you so much for these contributions, but our winner this week is Elon. Here's mine. Call it the bay. Make it about a beleaguered editor working for a streaming service, maybe working on both films and TV. I'm not going to pander to the judges by making it a podcast editor. I'm above that. Hmm. Are you? Sarah: [17:44] Structurally, it's almost like a mad fold-in. You start by watching a scene that's unbelievably clunky and dumb, part of a TV series or We Have X Movie at Home that's in production. And you can even sneak in guest stars. Over the course of each episode, the editor edits it down into the capital F final product. They also get a lot of capital N notes from people who pop into the editing bay. Cast, producers, writers, etc. sometimes consequently the final product is even worse than the original i would absolutely watch that because it sounds processy as hell thank you very much elon and um please uh approach our editor dave on the discord for your sticker prize and thank you all of you guys for these suggestions i would actually watch any of these. Dave: [18:37] Good answers, everybody. All right, let's get to your questions for us this week. First one from Jovial Gent. I saw a post about a mom whose daughter was cast as a door for a nativity play. Sarah: [18:49] Savage. So savage. Dave: [18:52] Pick a character from a TV show and have that actor play that character as a door. Tara. Tara: [19:00] Well, this is easy because Bobby Parisi on Melrose Place was legitimately the size and shape of a door. And we said so many times on our sister podcast again with this. But taking that as read, I'm going to go with someone who is just wooden like a door and say Megan from Mad Men and her teeth are the people. Sarah. Sarah: [19:21] From my notes quote let's see if t-bone and i both pick billy campbell since edrew's shoes seemed very possibly to already be doing this failing that let's have christopher maloney play elliot stabler as a door for a few episodes and uh see where we are with the screaming and throat polyps dave my. Dave: [19:41] Choice is glump from 911 lone star he recently rejoined the house as a newbie because of reasons. So his hazing is that he has to stand in the giant bay when the doors are open and pretend to beat the door and move away when people come in, make the noises the door makes when it goes up and down. That's his job for a couple episodes. Next question from L Triple B. I have a tote bag of pens I've been carting around as I change professional office locations. It occurs to me that I have more pens that I could use for the rest of my life. So my question is, does anyone else have a similar stash? Sarah, stash of a whole bunch of things you don't need. Sarah: [20:19] Oh, I thought this only meant pens. Tara: [20:22] So did I. And the answer is yes. Spoiler. Sarah: [20:25] I also have, I could open a knitting needle store because I have all of my own. And then I inherited my mother's and my mother-in-law's. So if anyone needs a slightly warped pair of number fives, DM me. Happy to get rid of them. Tara: [20:42] Dave. Dave: [20:43] Well, since I realized I was an adult and could order my own pens and now on my desk, i only have the four color pen nurse pens that my mother denied me as a child that's all i use now and i threw away all the other pens i have around so that was growth so pens are not the answer for me so i had to look somewhere else and that somewhere else was the bin in my closet with about 120 various flavor of computer cables from the common usb to usb to the like rare you know put it in h cable to yeah. Sarah: [21:15] I have a drawer like that. Dave: [21:18] The weird shit like i might need this one day i never will i don't even think they make whatever this connects into anymore you have to put gasoline in the cable somehow i don't wind. Sarah: [21:27] It with a hand crank i yeah no i have a drawer like that and i am absolutely certain the minute i put it on the curb or in the garbage that you'll be like hey do you still have that thing i suggested you order from amazon minutes after amazon was invented like. Dave: [21:43] I need. Sarah: [21:44] To let go. Dave: [21:44] Time to get that usbh cable like what and this is after i purged that cable box two years ago so somehow i've reamassed like 100 cables and it's just like once in a while i need a cable and it's great that it's there but it's always like in the wrong length so even though i have 120 cables in a box it never is the right one i always have to order another one so i should probably just recycle it it's like a key. Sarah: [22:08] Tied to a kite frame in my drawer Yeah, it's not good. Dave: [22:11] All right, Tara. Tara: [22:12] I don't know if you want to take a picture, Dave, of my pen caddy. I can take a picture of that. This illness. Sarah: [22:19] It's beautiful. Tara: [22:21] This is from the dollar spot at Target. I do have such a paranoia that my favorite pen, which I think I've said in a previous episode, is the Uniball vision. I'm scared it's going to get discontinued. So the pen that will outlive me might actually be in our house right now. But I also have a stash, and this is even stupider, because I read a lot of magazines. So whenever I get the fly-in subscription cards, the loose ones, for a time, I was just putting them in a pile and setting them aside to use as bookmarks. I am still reading the same book I started four months ago. I'm barely a reader anymore. So I don't know why I still have probably 50 of them in the top drawer of my nightstand. But every time Dave has to go in there and get the tape measure that we also have in there for like, you know, when he doesn't need to find the full on like measuring tape. I always think like, did he see that? And does he wonder why I have all those cards? Dave: [23:23] I got tunnel vision. I'm looking for that. Although I do want to talk about the magazines that you have. Tara: [23:29] Here we go. Dave: [23:31] Well, do you remember that Simpsons episode where Principal Skinner's in the garage and this stack of newspaper falls on him and he has to. Tara: [23:38] Yeah. Dave: [23:39] He's trapped in there for days. I feel like that's going to happen to me with the tower of magazines in the living room. Tara: [23:44] I know. It's one of my projects to get through them all when we're on vacation. Dave: [23:49] It's no longer a straight tower. Tara: [23:50] Yeah, I know. I know. I'm aware. Sarah: [23:53] Guess what? Her birthday's coming up and your other work wife is about to fuck you up even further with that. Spoiler! It's true. Tara: [24:02] There are magazines at the bottom of that stack that have ceased publication since they got to that spot. Dave: [24:08] There are magazines at the bottom of that stack that are turning into Diamond Star. Tara: [24:11] I know. I'm gonna read them. I will take a picture of before and after for accountability. This is one of my many projects for when we're off. Dave: [24:20] I don't care if you read them or not. I just don't want to be injured by it. Tara: [24:23] I understand. Dave: [24:24] Okay. All right. Let's move on. Johnny, you say. Tara: [24:27] Can we? Dave: [24:28] Sarah, you can sit this one out because it's about Taskmaster. Follow up from last week's Taskmaster question. What is your favorite Taskmaster moment from one of your contestants in your worst lineup, which we talked about last time? So Tara, one of your worst characters, but a moment you enjoyed from this. Tara: [24:43] Yeah. One that was mentioned in the Discord, so I will just shout it out and not pick it, is the one when John Kearns had a secret task and he had to sabotage. Tara: [24:53] His teammates on a team task where they all had to be like physically connected to each other. And he kept making absolutely stupid mistakes because he was told to. But my actual answer is from Joe Brand. The task is create an egg timer. You can't use any actual method of measuring time. You will have to operate the egg timer to actually boil an egg and the taskmaster likes his egg jammy and when Joe read that part of it, she's like, oh, does he? So the instruction for her egg timer is to Alex to, when he's ready to boil an egg, call her. So he does and she sings the hymn Jerusalem. And did those feet in ancient times. She sings the whole thing in the back of a cab. And at the end of it, he's like, all right. And then he cuts his egg open and it's perfect. So that was probably my favorite moment from her. It's the exact right length of time to boil a jammy egg. Dave: [25:53] Dave. Yeah, you did a whole list of people that you didn't like on Taskmaster. I just said Jo Brang, because this is obviously my number one, because she was just like the biggest of the I don't want to be here's of Taskmaster and I just don't enjoy that energy. So I had to pick one from her and the one that I like from her, the egg one is a good one. The other one I like from her is make the most dramatic entrance. One hour from now is the task. Tara: [26:13] Yeah, that was good. Dave: [26:14] And so she dresses up as Henry VIII and she comes in with a, what are they called? Dinner cloche? Tara: [26:19] A cloche, yeah. Dave: [26:20] Cloche? Tara: [26:20] Mm-hmm. Dave: [26:21] Lifts it up and has Alex's head as Anne Boleyn inside. He just screams and that's it. It was just like, boom, you're done. Tara: [26:27] Yep. Dave: [26:27] And it was very efficient. So sometimes I guess when you just don't want to be there and you want to get out of there as quickly as possible, it can it can work, you know, stop clock and all that. Tara: [26:36] I don't think that that represents a lack of effort on her part, though. Like the makeup to make her Henry VIII was pretty elaborate. Dave: [26:43] Yeah, but she didn't do that. Tara: [26:44] No, but she, you know. Dave: [26:45] I mean, you're supposed to think she did, but. Tara: [26:48] Yes. Dave: [26:49] One of the problems with Taskmaster as it grows older is you see how much the production is doing for everybody. And you didn't get that sense in the first one. like in the first few seasons nobody asked Alex for help and now like he's a prop now which sometimes is funny but sometimes it's like oh come on just do the task it would be better if you did it you know what I mean to be better tv so I wish they would say no more often to that yeah Elsbeth what was your favorite Halloween costume as a kid, Tara. Tara: [27:16] The only one that I really could remember that I thought represented my soul was when I was an angel as a baby. Just kidding. Although I did. That was one of my past costumes. Dave: [27:27] I think the picture that best represents your soul is when you're sitting on the bear from A&W restaurants. Tara: [27:34] The mascot. That's not from Halloween, but yes, you can tell I've been crying because I was scared to meet this costume mascot, but I still got my picture taken with him. Anyway, my actual answer is one year I went as an artist. This is when I really love to draw. And so I had like a smock and a beret and a palette. It was very stereotypical. I may have had like a fake mustache too. I don't remember that part, but that was probably mine. Dave. Dave: [27:59] Best costume was Spock. It was really well done. She was very into Star Trek at the time. So she had all the technical manuals and shit like that. So I had the ears. I had the eyebrows. I had the blue uniform. I had the phaser, the tricorder. I have photographic evidence of all this. The next one, my favorite costume, that was the best. My favorite one was one that I'm not quite sure what it is. I've come to call it Garbage Bag Incredible Hulk, which is me with a garbage bag, you know, as a as a tunic with a belt around it, face painted green. And based on that, I was like, am I supposed to be Incredible Hulk? Is this my version of Incredible Hulk? But then I noticed I got like blood around my mouth and like, was this supposed to be Frankenstein? But then why is Frankenstein got blood like Dracula? Is this supposed to be like a pan Halloween conceptual costume where it's like all things classic and green? I don't know what I was going for, but the look on my face sort of sells like, I don't know what this is, but I'm here for it. That'll be in the show notes photo for that. And the sassiest costume was Nurse David, where I'm sitting next to a pumpkin and I got my hips cocked. I'm like, yeah, I love this. I was wearing my mom's nurse's costume. I went one year with my dad's cop costume, which probably isn't legal, but we did it anyways. And that was, I kind of loved that, but I have no photographic evidence of that one. Tara: [29:18] Both of those real, I hope this doesn't unlock anything moments for you. Dave: [29:23] I love dressing in drag when I was a kid. Absolutely loved it. It was like Bart walking around with the oversized heel shoes in the house. This is great. Tara: [29:32] Starting to think I can win this pageant. All right, go ahead, Sarah. Sarah: [29:35] This was not a costume that I wore. It was for my younger brother. But Barb made a very sturdy, but also quite reasonable as far as moving around in it, Pac-Man costume for my brother in the early 80s. And it was really like she made sure his sneakers and like he was in black sweatpants and like she made little shoe covers for his zip Velcro sneakers. He was like four at the time so that it would sort of disappear in low light. And he was able to like it was just circles of cardboard, you know, yellow like Pac-Man. But it had a little grip, like a little handle inside so that he could lift it up over his head. Look through the in-between part of the two circles and then run. After people. So Barb really thought through the engineering. I think it's still somewhere in my dad's garage. But yeah, Barb really came through on those things occasionally. But I don't really remember my Halloween costumes as a kid. I think I was usually like a ballerina or a witch. It's not that she didn't do a good job on those. I just don't really remember. Dave: [30:52] Well, a lot of years back then, this was the height of the $1 costume with the plastic mask that will cut your face open, you know, with the very thin elastic held by one little staple. Yeah, and I think I was Spider-Man one day, one year, and the mask immediately broke when I got to school, so I didn't even look like Spider-Man. Just like this fat kid. Like a proto-Mario before there was a Mario just walking around. Tara: [31:20] We got a lot of Marios last night, by the way. Dave: [31:22] Oh, really? Tara: [31:23] There was a few that were like whole families that were all different characters too. Dave: [31:29] All right. Last question from DPOV16. Battle of the Streaming Network Stars. Create it. What are your three networks? Who are your five team members? What are three competitions? All right. So I'm throwing away all of that because when I started, first of all, you know, just ask one question. I'm just saying. Tara: [31:51] But this is more of an extra credit. Dave: [31:53] It is more of an extra credit. Tara: [31:54] I did the whole thing. Dave: [31:55] Okay, great. Sarah: [31:55] Oh, me too. Dave: [31:57] Okay, good. I'm glad you did. As soon as I started, it sort of like, by the way I was thinking, destroyed itself. And let me just tell you why. Tara: [32:04] Okay. Dave: [32:04] So my three networks were Netflix, Max, and Freebie. The competitors and events don't really matter because Netflix floods the market with 200 team members. Max shoots and buries three team members at the starting line just before the relay starts for tax purposes. and no one can find freebie. So it's just kind of a disaster. Sarah: [32:29] So, I mean, you should have gone last. Anyway, I actually did this like it was written like a fucking sucker. Tara: [32:36] But anyway, I did it, too. You're not a sucker. Dave is Dave's a cheater. Sarah: [32:41] Dave is smarter, not harder. Paramount Plus, Disney Plus and Apple TV Plus are my networks. And from Paramount Plus, we've got Mike Coulter from Evil, Delroy Lindo, Christine Baranski and Audra McDonald of The Good Fight and Patrick Stewart from Picard. From disney plus we got rosario dawson of ahsoka diego luna from andor tom hiddleston from loki pedro pascal from the mandalorian and katherine han agatha all along and then from apple tv plus he might be boring but he's big and athletic looking it's joel kinnaman plus sarah jones and sonia walter from the space show billy crude up from the morning show and jason momoa from sea which no one did see but see previous ray big and athletic the three competitions are interpretive dance beach volleyball and decathlon interpretive dance for obvious reasons beach volleyball because a lot of those star wars shows are set in sandy settings and you know decathlon and then uh i think disney probably wins but now that dave has brought up the possibility that one of these streaming networks can just kill and bury competitors or its own. Dave: [33:58] Yeah. No, they killed their own. Yeah. But sure. Why not? Why not? Turn the tables. Sarah: [34:03] Yeah. Now, now I'm lost in lost in that concept. But I think the Disney plus gang is just taking it. They're that team that takes it like way too seriously. And that's who usually wins these things. I think Tara. Tara: [34:19] Well, I don't have any crossover with you at all because my networks are Macs, Hulu, and Netflix. From Max, our representatives are Nia Wallace from In Just Like That, the Karen Pittman character. We've got Sergeant Turner, played by Shandra Russell from Southside. Marcus, I forget the actor's names, from Hacks. Kirsten Raymond from Station Eleven, played by Mackenzie Davis. And then Deshaun Wesley from Legendary. He was the ball emcee. From Hulu, we've got Maura from The Handmaid's Tale. Jan from Only Murders in the Building. Sheila Klein from American Horror Stories. That's the Lisa Rinna character from that one episode. Sidney Adamu from The Bear and Chad Powers of Chad Powers. That's not a show that's on yet, but stars Glenn Powell. And he plays an NFL player, so I feel strongly about that one. From Netflix, Wiki Roy from Girls 5 Eva. She's got a winning spirit, and I think we all know it. Ripley from Ripley, ditto. The brother from The Gentleman Who Wore the Chicken Costume. Don't remember his name, doesn't matter. Davey from Never Have I Ever. And, of course, Johnny Lawrence from Cobra Kai. Our competitions are going to be the baseball dunk. Sheila destroys tug of war is going to be a blowout for Netflix with Johnny Lawrence and Ripley on their side. And then Simon says bad showing for Hulu because Jan cannot follow instructions or refuses to, but our winning network is going to be max because any team that has Deshaun Wesley to hype them up is definitely going to win. And that was my answer for this. Dave: [35:48] Nicely done. So just a note, you're absolutely welcome to put in very complicated questions in the Ask EASG channel. I will move them into extra credit possible contention. Tara: [36:00] There you go. Dave: [36:01] In fact, they are that large and complex. That is not a guarantee that we will ever do it. But I'm just saying, if you don't have a simple question and it's like a 10-part question, it might get shut down. Sarah: [36:12] Management reserves the right. Dave: [36:13] Yes, exactly. All right, let's get to our Ask EASG question. It comes from Research Et. She writes, While I was researching stuff for work, I was delighted to find that there is a parody of Bonanza on an episode of Maverick way back in 1961. So the question is, do you have a favorite episode of one TV show that parodies another? Go to our Ask Ask EASG channel on Discord and on our new website at extrahotgreat.com. We do have a FAQ about how to do that, links to get you on Discord. If you're not, it's pretty simple. And then once you're on, you're on. So go there, plop your answer in there. We'll be back soon with judgment on that one. You'll win that coveted Weirdo Wrestler Cake Sticker that everybody is talking about. Dave: [37:00] It is time for the Tiny Cannon. This week, it is the first ever Anger Cannon. Yes, it is the Anger Cannon. And before we get into it, Tara, you got a little call for action here. Tara: [37:14] Yes we still have not received any tiny canon or nonac submissions guys i think we've shown the breadth of what is possible you can create your own canon category even if you've never heard it before we know you're sitting on specific scenes and stuff that you want to talk about they're scurred they're scurred we also are about to take our break for the holidays but we are going to need your canon submissions in the new year for sure so go to the show notes for the link for all your submissions because we need them. Dave: [37:48] Also reorganized on the news site, FAQs for how to submit tiny cannons and what goes into them and all that kind of stuff. So check that out if you haven't been lately. All right. Back to the anchor cannon. I may, in the fullness of time, do a full cannon submission for this episode that I'm going to talk about. The episode itself is chock full of all the things that make this show Southside great. But for now, I'm going to put a small exchange about two and a half minutes into the episode up for the anger cannon. This is probably my favorite moment of the whole series. But let's rewind to the start and set it up. It is hot in Chicago. It is very hot. The staff of RTO, rent-to-own store, are assembled for an employee meeting, and they just covered corporate's newest innovation, the placebo thermostat on the wall. Keeps kids busy, gives employees the illusion of control. Outside, a delivery man with a case of Omaha steaks gingerly tiptoes through the door, gives the gentlest of knocks, and immediately puts a, oops, our bad, we missed you sticker on the door, and fucking high-tails it out of there. As the driver listens to the erotic audiobook Temptation Church in his van, he's chased down by RTO employee Simon. Tara: [39:16] Imagined deacon deandre inside of her pounded in the pews wrecked in the rectory climbing her braids with his anointed hands the floor was wet but it wasn't holy water drip drip, steal steaks. That's crazy. It's got a grill in the van. Dave: [39:54] And then there's a Steadicam shot of a prepped grill all ready to cook them steaks in the van. Sarah: [40:03] So good. Dave: [40:04] So that's the setup. But now to the actual moment. We're back at the staff meeting. Simon's got his box of dry ice Omaha steaks. He is impatient to get this meeting over, get on with his day, get home, and get those steaks in his mouth. His friend Kareem or Kay sitting next to him explains what's in the box. Another character, Greg the Marine, is sitting next to them, has a question. And then J-Mall, out of the blue, has a retort to that. Here comes the anchor cannon moment. First time we watched this i was laughing for five minutes at that it is so unearned unwarranted and that is my anger cannon moment it's quick it is definitely not something that should have been screened at poor greg the marine for asking you know a valid question but it's really fucking funny and that is my argument, sarah have you ever watched south side beyond the canon submission uh i don't think so i don't think so i mean. Sarah: [41:33] I think i think maybe we covered it at some point or. Dave: [41:37] Yeah yeah is. Sarah: [41:38] That was there a canon. Dave: [41:39] Yeah it was with this show omar omar put it in yeah yeah. Sarah: [41:43] It's definitely on my uh it's definitely on my list the list i mean what isn't. Dave: [41:48] Tara did a interview with the one of the creators What's his name again? Tara: [41:52] Bashir Salahuddin. Dave: [41:53] And correct me if I'm wrong, but basically he said that the show as a whole was sort of like his version of The Simpsons. Tara: [42:01] Yeah. Dave: [42:01] And once she said that to me, so many things clicked about the rhythm of this show and how many characters there are and how they sort of dip in and out of focusing on the people that work at the RTO and then going into the wider community and then like pulling it back in. It makes me sad that it's over. I mean, we got three seasons. There's a lot of episodes to enjoy, but I feel like it could have been like one of those, like, it's always sunny in Philadelphia shows that went on for decades because there's just like endless possibilities with them. But anyways, back to the anger cannon moment. Sarah, let's start with you because I'm interested in like not knowing as much about everybody in the show if it still played for you. Sarah: [42:40] It absolutely did. I was sort of like going through and like, you know, it's in our rundown doc, you know, tiny cannon, unwarranted anger cannon. Okay. So and we're like in this scene and it was like, oh, well, all right. If this involves him having to chase down the delivery guy like that is warranted anger. So where is this gonna? Oh, I see. And just like barked laughing because it just turns on a dime and then they just keep moving past it. So the delivery on it is perfect. And that reference to envisioning the show, the creator envisioning the show as like a version of The Simpsons or like an iteration of that kind of show, the cutaway to the grill in the back, the way that it's like, you don't know what a turtle it is? No. Fuck you. Like, the fuck you Frank shaggy dog joke is one of my favorites. So I would maybe fine tune this section or exhibit of the canon to be the fuck you canon. Dave: [43:47] I considered that, actually, but then I thought it went from fuck you canon to unwarranted anger canon just to anger canon because they kind of wanted something that we can put other things into. But I don't disagree with your assessment. Sarah: [44:00] I feel like the fuck you cannon would be a pretty big container and we might have to do some fundraising for a new wing comfortable, but like wherever we decide to file this in the, you know, mind palace of the tiny cannon, I'm comfortable with it because it really is just like, it's perfect because, and the fact that it's about a tartlet. So there's this like very sort of like positive, cute sweet snack happening and then he's just like fuck you like he is legit pissed off but then it the scene just moves on so excellent choice i would say all. Dave: [44:40] Right tara what do you think. Tara: [44:41] Yeah what you can't see until you watch this episode which you should it is on max is that the guy who says fuck you is has the sweetest face he is like just, adorable like you that's part of what makes it so unexpected that he just out of truly out of nowhere just screams fuck you to a. Dave: [45:04] Character which at this point in the series everybody believes to be a hard marine. Tara: [45:08] Yeah makes. Dave: [45:10] It kind of funny and there's. Tara: [45:10] No history between. Dave: [45:11] These two characters that's not like born. Tara: [45:13] Out of animosity or anything like that he's just angry. Dave: [45:15] Somebody doesn't know what a tarot. Tara: [45:17] Is yeah how dare how dare you. Sarah: [45:21] Totally. Tara: [45:21] The setup is also so good. I mean, the driver for what is called Dell's livery, again, Simpsons ass company name. The way he, like, you could hear it in the clip, he knocks so quietly and like. Dave: [45:35] Well, he's knocking with one hand. He's already have the sticker, like, micro millimeters away from the door of the others. Like, knock, slap, run. Tara: [45:42] Yes. I mean, it's just like everyone has had that experience of like, did you whisper this on the wind for me to come to the door? I know you didn't knock, you motherfucker. I've been here all day. Everyone's had that experience. So seeing it play out this way just adds to the humor of it so much. And the episode goes from strength to strength after this moment. But the out-of-nowhere non-sequitur-ness of this particular reaction is a huge part of what makes this episode great. Dave: [46:14] The episode goes on and there's like this Buffalo Bill-esque character that the cop characters get trapped in, except he's really an entrepreneur in the neighborhood. It's really weird. I'll probably do it for the canon, like, you know, in a year or something like that. But I really wanted to get the Tartlet part in the anger canon, at least. Tara: [46:31] Yeah we've we've been re-watching the show currently we just started season three last night so again strong recommend for this show it is so so so so so funny and i feel like people never talk about it including like comedy fans it was really under the radar it jumped for it started on comedy central for its first season and then jumped to max for season two and three and i think like this just people like did not know about it and that's a shame because it's fucking hilarious all. Dave: [46:59] Right let's put this the official vote sarah d bunting anger canon yay or nay uh yay. Tara: [47:05] Yay all. Dave: [47:08] Right so that means anger canon what's a tart list outside season two episode one treat yourself you're hereby inducted into the anger tiny canon, Dave: [47:24] It's time to discover who is our not quite winner and not quite loser of the week. I will start off with our not quite winner. It is lifetime, which is like looking at Hallmark and saying, yeah, whatever. We're going to put more sex in our holiday specials because that's what everybody wants. They did it last year, 2023, with a cowboy Christmas romance. And then they're going to up the game this year with a carpenter. Sarah: [47:49] It's a reverse cowboy Christmas romance. Dave: [47:56] So this year, a Carpenter Christmas romance. It's called that because she screams Jesus Christ when she's orgasming. That's a little spoiler for you. And loser of the week, not quite, is the traitors, as this host Alan Cumming admits that he was a bit judgy of reality shows before booking the job since they, quote, encourage bad behavior and lack of kindness, which is basically what the premise of the traitors is all about. So this just in Alan coming likes easy money. Sarah: [48:29] Yeah. Yeah. He's also been on reality shows, plural. So whatever. I mean, granted it's like him and Miriam Margulies. Dave: [48:39] That's the dump truck of money backing up to his house. Sarah: [48:43] Oh, okay. My not quite winner of the week is Taya Leone, who is joining season five of Only Murders in the Building. I, as we record this, just watched the season finale last night, and I was so relieved to see her show up and feel like, okay, this is the handoff to next season's case, and Summit's own, Meryl Streep is safe. And also, she's like, perfect for this. I'm a little surprised they didn't find her sooner. And it was a very pleasing finale. And that was one of the things that was pleasing. Tara: [49:16] Oh, my God. And she looked gorgeous as well. Those gams don't quit. Sarah: [49:20] And the hair also, like what a perfect sort of like Upper West Side, Sydney Opera House, but make it fashion, hairstyle. Tara: [49:32] Yeah. Sarah: [49:32] Cheekbones. I wonder what that's like. Not quite loser. The unspecified, quote, bad objects that are keeping Molly Shannon, speaking of only murders, from returning to SNL for its 50th anniversary season or events or whatever. She was on, I think, the Today Show or whatever Hoda didn't leave yet, right? Tara: [49:57] Yeah, that's Today. Sarah: [49:57] So it was the Today Show. Just talking about how her therapist was like, you know, you should avoid bad objects in your life. Like there was some ex of hers at a party and she was told not to treat with bad objects. So I don't think they're talking about like literal objects on the set, but rather shitty people. And Shannon has not really committed to participating and stuff. And I hope she names names, actually, because it's time. Dave: [50:27] She's doing fine. She don't need to go on SNL's 50th anniversary. Tara: [50:31] She doesn't. But one of my cracked colleagues pointed out that she hosted the show not very long ago. So this sort of suggests that the person that she has a problem with is someone from her own era. So take that as you will. Tara yeah who. Dave: [50:49] Is your not quite winner of the week. Tara: [50:50] Got more snl news my not quite winner are the vfx workers at saturday night live who have unionized with iatzi more people joining is always good news i'm kind of surprised they weren't already but yet late than never great news visual. Dave: [51:08] Effects workers as in like practical or are that is that digital do you know. Tara: [51:12] I'm not I'm. Dave: [51:13] Just trying to figure out what the hell they would actually do in Saturday Night Live. Tara: [51:16] Oh, well, they do like probably graphics and stuff. But yes, they probably. Yes, I imagine it's the whole gamut. Sarah: [51:23] Yeah, like interstitials. Here's that, you know. Dave: [51:26] Weekend update, Chiron sit and all that. Sarah: [51:28] Right. The card for the guest looking into the middle distance in black and white. Dave: [51:32] Got it. Tara: [51:33] And my not quite loser is not quite a not quite loser, actually. But it's Lorne Michaels, as Garrett Morris in a recent interview said, And he would not let Morris play a doctor in SNL series premiere because Morris is black. His reasoning was, I don't think our audience will appreciate that or get it. And it's like, what audience? It was the first episode. So, yeah, not great. That on top of the Shane Gillis wasn't my idea to fire him news of recent vintage and a lot of other stuff. It's like, maybe you should retire. Maybe you should just stop. Sarah: [52:11] Yeah. Tara: [52:12] Yeah. Dave: [52:13] All right, we missed her last week, but she's back. Here we go. It's Kim Reid's Most Awesome Thing I Watched on TV This Month. Dave: [52:25] Hi, this is Kim Reid, and welcome to The Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Month. Last month, I jumped ahead in the episode order and celebrated spooky season by watching Season 6, Episode 14, A Little House on the Prairie, called The Werewolf of Walnut Grove. So a new rich family named the Slavers has just moved to Walnut Grove, and their giant adult son, Bartholomew, hates school. And he just wants to work on this farm, but his mother insists he needs an education. And his dad is like, child-raising his women's business, and I need to run the farm, so way to back up your wife, ding-dong. The wife insists that Bartholomew has to behave and not get kicked out of school again. So Bart reports to school, and Miss Wilder hopes he does better than he did at his last school. Like, way to blow up his spot, and I guess they didn't have FERPA on the prairie. Bart creepily stares at Laura and he wants Albert to move so he can sit by her, like of all the girls in the classroom he picked Laura? She was still in her tomboy braids era. Anyway, Willie, that sim, pops up and offers his seat. Mrs. Slater has apparently been buying all of her furnishing for her giant new house at the Mercantile, so Harriet is a big business boner any time she sees Mrs. Slater arriving. Dave: [53:26] Meanwhile, Miss Wilder's talking to the class about the solar system and the moon, and this leads to talking about werewolves naturally, as you would with a class of mixed-age frontier youth. Miss Wilder holds up a book about werewolves that she happened to own and have sitting on her desk. It's by a guy named Sabine Baring Gould. And I thought, the writer's had a great time making up this fake book. But then I Googled it for funsies. And he's a real dude who wrote a real book about werewolves. And he also wrote Reverend Alden's favorite hymn, Onward Christian Soldiers. Then some Harry Potter-looking kid gets up and does a papier-mâché demonstration. Like, what is happening in this classroom? Miss Wilder wants Bart to give it a try. And he drapes the gluey paper over Harry Potter's head. And the other kids all laugh. and Miss Wilder just gasps and sputters and does basically nothing, but what could she do? Because Bart appears to be like 30 years old and built like a linebacker. As they clean up, Bart offers Harry Potter a dollar to do the class project for him. Is this the beginning of a beautiful friendship slash business relationship? Dave: [54:19] After school, Bart wants to walk Laura home, which leads to a fistfight with Albert, which leads to Almanzo running over from the mill and decking Bart, which would not fly these days, but Bart deserved it. It also would fly, but Almanzo takes time to flirt with Laura, who is a child, but we'll let that go for now. Bart's dad yells at Almanzo for punching his son, and then he yells at Miss Wilder for not being able to control his son. And I feel like the common denominator here is his son, but of course this idiot will never admit that. So the next day, Bart's horsing around during class, and Miss Wilder tells him to stand in the corner. But he knocks her chair down instead and basically says, my dad won't let you kick me out. So Miss Wilder has a nervous breakdown while writing decimals on the chalkboard, and then she tells all the kids to go home. Dave: [54:57] Laura and Albert immediately tell Ma what happened. so she tells Pa and Pa goes to see Miss Wilder, who's still sitting in the school crying. Like, how long has she been crying? She needs to pull it together. How does she survive as a single woman on the frontier if she's this unstable? Anyway, Miss Wilder admits that Bart is a menace and his dad threatened her job. Pa visits Mr. Slater, who has of course been sold a bill of goods by his son, and he blames Miss Wilder for the whole thing. So then Pa goes to the Wilder house to tell them what happened, and Almanzo's on fire and way too excited about the prospect of beating Bart up again, this time with a stick? Have we considered that Almanzo may have an anger management issue? Miss Wilder insists she needs to handle it herself, and then they all hear Bart outside reciting the famous lazy, lousy Liza Jane rhyme from the books. Like, did this dude seriously jog over from his farm to stand outside her house, say this dumb rhyme, and then jog home? Maybe his father needs to give him some chores or something. Almanzo's ready to go get that stick, but Miss Wilder wants to have a school board meeting. Dave: [55:52] Harriet and Nels prepare for the school board meeting. Apparently Harriet's the president. When she finds out that Nels plans to vote differently from her on the Miss Wilder issue, she says she's going to kick him off, which I don't think is how school boards work. But then Nels says, where are you going to find an idiot that will agree with you? And then they cut to Nellie's simpering face, and I'll admit I laughed. Anyway, the school board consists of Pa, Doc Baker, Harriet, and now Nellie. Harriet and Nellie argue that if they expel Bart, his dad will stop giving needed money to the school. Did they not have taxes on the frontier? Anyway, Pa and Doc Baker vote to expel Bart, and Nellie and Harriet vote to let him stay, and I guess Ty goes to the Bart, so he stays. I would like to point out that an episode with Werewolf in the title, we're halfway done and have seen hide nor hair, pun intended, of a werewolf. That night, Laura and Elbert lament that Bart's staying and Miss Wilder's going, and Laura finds out Almanzo's leaving with his sister, so she's double sad. So then Elbert gets the idea that if they can't get Bart to leave, they can scare him away, and he and Laura embark on an arts and crafts journey to create a werewolf costume, which wasn't a bit of a challenge in the days before there was a Joann's and a Spirit Halloween on every corner. Although, if you told me a Spirit Halloween popped up on Saturdays when the school-slash-church-slash-meeting place wasn't being used, I'd believe it. Anyway, Laura then cuts off some random dude's beard while he's sleeping or passed out from drinking, which is the strangest way to get fake fur, like why not trim your cow or horse or goat or something? Meanwhile, Bart's refusing to pay Harry Potter for doing his homework, as promised, so Harry Potter tells Laura and Albert about it, and then they bring him in on their scheme. The next day, Ms. Wilder tells the class that tomorrow's her last day teaching, and she'll miss some of them. Dave: [57:21] Bart plays the harmonica through her little speech like an asshole, so Ms. Wilder says there's no point in having school today. Like, honestly, Bart's the best thing that's ever happened to these kids, because it's like snow days every day. Anyway, Ms. Wilder editorializes that the school board has allowed themselves to be bullied by a wealthy fool, which might be going too far, but Liza Jane's got a fucks to give. Albert, Laura, and Harry Potter leave school and try to get Bart to follow them. I just noticed that Albert's suspenders must be hooked to his underwear in the back because they definitely aren't clipped to his pants. That seems uncomfortable. Dave: [57:48] Albert puts something in his mouth and when Bart catches up to them and tries to start a fight, Albert turns around and he's foaming at the mouth. Bart's freaked out and Laura rushes Albert home. Harry Potter tells Bart that Albert's a werewolf, which Bart doesn't really believe, but kind of believes. Harry Potter gives Bart the werewolf book and tells him that Albert will be chained up in the Ingalls' barn tonight since it's the full moon. They sure were lucky the full moon happened the same night as Miss Wilder's firing. So Ma and Pa are going to dinner at the Garby's and they leave Laura in charge. And then there's like five minutes of Carrie trying to get baby Grace to take a bottle. Like Grace seems to be about three years old, it might be time to transition to solid foods. Out in the barn, Albert reveals his werewolf costume and makeup, which are honestly great and look eerily like Michael Landon when he starred in I Was a Teenage Werewolf, which was a factoid that just popped into my brain, total useful information. So glad my brain saved that fact. Laura fake chains Albert up and then Bart and Harry Potter show up. Laura acts reluctant about letting them into the barn, but once they're in, she and Harry Potter keep emphasizing that Bart needs to be careful because Albert hates him, so I guess werewolf Albert really, really hates him. As Bart stands there quivering, Albert quote-unquote breaks his fake chains and chases Bart out of the barn. Laura trips Bart, and while he's on the ground, Albert picks up the papier-mâché rock they left nearby and slowly advances, and I mean slowly. Dave: [59:00] Laura says Albert will only spare Bart if he does what Albert wants, which is Bart needs to behave at school and apologize to Miss Wilder. Bart quickly agrees, but who's going to enforce this? The second Bart refuses to hold up his end of the bargain, what are Laura and Albert going to do? But then Carrie runs out of the house because she can't get Grace to eat, and she reveals the rock's made of paper and Albert's wearing a costume. Jesus Christ, Carrie, you are the worst. Bart finally figures out what's going on, and Albert breaks character and says, it was a joke, but we cut before the beatings commence. Apparently, Bart punched Albert one time and then stopped, because the next day Albert has a black eye only. Dave: [59:33] Laura realizes that they're not the only kids who hate Bart, So she gives an inspirational speech to all the kids, which amounts to stand together, die alone. Bart's dad drops him off at school and goes into the mercantile where Almanzo and Liza Jane are settling up their account before they leave town. So Bart walks over to school where the entire class is standing outside waiting for him. Laura reminds him what he promised, and Bart is basically like, you and what are we? And then all the kids bum rush him. And honestly, I think Bart could still take them all. But then Mr. Slater and the Wilder run out of the mercantile, and I refuse to believe that nosy Harriet would have passed this up. But Omanzo holds Mr. Slater back and reminds him he said kids should handle things on their own. And then we see all the kids are dogpiled on Bart. And are they going to murder him? Because that would actually be a spooky episode. Miss Wilder walks into the school and all the kids are dirty and disheveled. And Bart already has a black eye and a bruised cheek. Like, how long was she in the mercantile? And Bart apologizes and promises to be good if Miss Wilder will stay. And Miss Wilder agrees and all the kids but Bart hug her. And we never saw the Slaters again. And that was the most awesome thing I saw on TV last month. Tara: [1:00:43] We welcome in our grandpas. They have missed how much show, Dave? Dave: [1:00:48] They have missed probably about 55 minutes. Tara: [1:00:51] Oh, my God. They missed our discussion about Finding Mr. Christmas, the new breakout reality hit on Hallmark Plus. We don't know if it's a hit. It premiered yesterday. They also missed our answers to Ask EHG questions, including a real meaty one about imagining a battle of the streaming network stars. They missed our not-quite winners and losers of the week. Who's probably racist? I don't know. You'll have to kick up that pledge to the $5 level to hear everything. So go to extrahotgreat.com slash club to get more information on our ongoing campaign and to find out how you can kick up that pledge and get the whole episode. Tara: [1:01:32] Here's today's extra credit topic. We've done purple things, fluffy things, wet things, and buzzing things. Now, as Dr. Odyssey and NCIS Origins take us all by storm, I've asked my colleagues to please bring three great floating things to the discussion and added, you may interpret floating as liberally as you want. Things that float in the air or not in water. Also acceptable. I will start my first best floating thing. And this is a spoiler for the curse on Showtime, but it's from last year. So, you know, it's Asher in the finale of the curse because he wakes up in that episode and suddenly is being propelled against all rules of gravity for reasons we don't know and we never understand. And I was like medium on that show. And I don't think that that finale was a total success, but it's a really audacious idea, and I'm still thinking about it almost a year later. So I'll say that for my first pick, Asher, the Nathan Fielder character, in The Curse. Sarah. Sarah: [1:02:40] Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale tale of a fateful trip. My first one is the SS Minnow. Said tiny ship stayed afloat just long enough to deposit seven castaways on the titular Gilligan's Island. And then apparently was destroyed later in the show's run, ostensibly because the glue Gilligan discovered and repaired it with was, quote, temporary and stopped working when the boat was in the water because they hadn't gotten canceled yet, at which time it fell apart. Evidently, it is also Gilligan's cannon that they floated into disaster in the first place because Gilligan tried to drop anchor, but the anchor did not have a rope attaching it to the boat. I have never liked this show except for the theme song Even if there's nothing else on I would rather just stare at a wall until it's over So the Gilliganologists in the crowd can at me If that's not correct But the Minnow legendarily floated far enough That these unfunny mofos didn't get rescued For 98 episodes in a bunch of movies I think that qualifies us for our purposes today Me? Tara: [1:03:46] Yeah, Wait, there's a canal. Or an inlet. Or a fjord. Quiet! I will not hear another word against the boat. Okay, TV off. It's family time. Dave: [1:04:18] Oh, but Marge, night boat. The crime-solving boat. Night boat. From The Simpsons. Nothing like Knight Rider. Yeah, pitch-perfect parody of Knight Rider. I don't know if Bart Simpson would know the word fjord, but I'm glad that it was added there. Tara: [1:04:35] Yes. Dave: [1:04:36] All right, back to Tara. Tara: [1:04:37] Back to me. I'm going to say the various ghosts that we have seen and what we do in the shadows because I cannot spoil a ghost that's coming up in episode seven that is airing a week Monday. But when this ghost appeared, Dave can attest my physical jaw dropped and stayed dropped for the length of this ghost's whole first scene. And it was thrilling to me. So remember this when you're watching in a couple of weeks. But I'll also just give a shout out to, you know, they've been other ghosts before and specters and so forth. And so the ghost of Nadia, who then ends up taking up residence in a talking doll for the rest of the series is a pretty good one, too. So floating ghosts from what we do in the shadow. Sarah. Sarah: [1:05:23] The ducks on the Sopranos. We don't actually see them doing that much floating, but their departure from the Soprano family swimming pool is the inciting incident for the entire series and its mobster goes to a shrink premise. So I feel like that also is a very significant floating set of things. Dave. Dave: [1:06:23] That is the introduction of Rover from The Prisoner, the floating weather balloon security device that keeps people from escaping the village. Dave: [1:06:32] And what you heard there was one guy decided to try to make a run for it. And then the balloon comes out of the fountain, grows. And then through the magic of 1960s filmmaking, somebody with the leaf blower of the time propels the balloon towards the guy. There's a quick cut then to somebody's face inside the balloon trying to get out, which would have fucked you up as a kid. It's one of those imageries that's like very simple and kind of silly when you look at it when you're older. But when you're a kid being trapped in the balloon, you're like, you're up against the rubber of the balloon from the inside. Creepy, creepy. And then Rover flies away to deposit him, I guess, back at prison or whatever. But this was the first time we ever saw a Rover on the prisoner. And I watched a incredibly dry making of the rover, like from some DVD. And let me tell you, there's a big difference between British film professionals talking about a project and Hollywood film professionals talking about a project. And that British people don't seem to really give a shit. And Hollywood people are really into like the history and the craft, owning your accomplishments. And these guys are like, yeah, Patrick McGoohan came in. He said he already had the rover thing all figured out, which was bring a weather balloon and an air blower and then have it attack people. And we're like, yeah, sure. Fine. Let's work for us. That was like, that was, that was this little mini documentary. I'm like, get on you. Yeah. Let's work. Sarah: [1:07:57] Cool story. Dave: [1:07:58] Yeah. Tara: [1:07:59] I do know what you mean though, where it's like, I could be making special effects for films or I could be making shoes and I don't really care which it is. Sarah: [1:08:06] It's just a job. Dave: [1:08:08] Workshop is a workshop. Tara: [1:08:08] Exactly. Dave: [1:08:09] Yeah. All right. So Rover, a quintessential part of the prisoner, and it floats and it keeps people inside and it keeps the village safe. Tara: [1:08:17] Mm-hmm. Dave: [1:08:18] Back to Tara. Tara: [1:08:19] This is another spoiler, but it's for a TV episode that is more than 10 years old. Season one, episode seven of Broad City called Hurricane Wanda. Seeing if this triggers any memories for Dave. Seems like not. What happens in this episode is there's a hurricane and Abby and Alana and Bevers, the boyfriend of Abby's extremely offscreen roommate and others are all like sheltering in the same apartment. Abby goes to the bathroom. She does a number two. And only then does she realize she can't flush it. And so the best floating thing is Abby's poop, which becomes a huge point of contention. The whole rest of the episode turns out to be about how are they going to dispose of this poop? And I won't say more because you should watch the episode. It's pretty funny. It goes, it literally goes places that poop does. And it is not down the toilet. Dave: [1:09:17] Excellent. I would be watching that for the first time again, I think. I have absolutely no recollection of that. You know, I love poop. Tara: [1:09:23] Well, you loved it at the time. I'll say that. So we could revisit this. Sarah. Sarah: [1:09:29] Keeping with the classy subject matter here. My final floating thing is Brooke Armstrong Campbell of Melrose Place. Tara: [1:09:38] Sarah, how could you? Just kidding. Sarah: [1:09:42] Her ignominious drunken exit occurred because she got wasted, hit her head, and drowned in the complex pool really quickly, for what it's worth. There's a brief argument happening outside as to whether they're going to just go to a movie or someone's going to check on Brooke because she's ripshit. And Allison goes to check on her and she's already drowned. She later floats up out of the pool as a ghost. So a lot of bang for your floating brook buck. Tara: [1:10:15] Her father also floated, if I recall correctly. Sarah: [1:10:18] Oh, yeah. Tara: [1:10:18] Didn't he also die at sea? Sarah: [1:10:20] I believe so. Yeah, there's a bunch of floaters. Reed, I think. Tara: [1:10:25] Yeah, I think he just gets shot, but yes. Sarah: [1:10:29] Well, yeah, but ended up floating, I think. Because didn't the boat blow up after that? Tara: [1:10:34] No, that was when Amanda's father was on it. Sarah: [1:10:37] I think. Tara: [1:10:38] Or near it, or something. Sarah: [1:10:39] Again with this, folks. Tara: [1:10:40] Honestly. Sarah: [1:10:40] Go back and listen. Correct us. Tara: [1:10:42] All right, Dave, finish this off. Although I do have a few honorable mentions as well. Sarah: [1:10:46] Me too. Are you all right? I'm fine. Dave: [1:12:04] That's Lieben getting airlocked on Battlestar Galactica. And that is the first of, I think, three airlocks we see in the show, signaling President Rosalind's change from schoolteacher to badass president of the colonies. So that is my third choice, the floating body of Cylon Lieben just dancing around in space, hoping he gets his soul beamed back to Cylon headquarters. And maybe he did, maybe he didn't. Tara: [1:12:30] Yep. Dave: [1:12:30] Yep. Tara: [1:12:31] I mean, hence the t-shirt at one point on Glarkware, Rosalind slash airlock campaign shirt. Dave: [1:12:38] That's right. Tara: [1:12:40] All right. I'll quickly go through my runners up. Of course, I mean, I mentioned in the intro, but I have to give a shout out to the Odyssey, the most important boat on TV this fall. Gidget, famous surfer, teen surfer, played by a very young Sally Field. Dr. Adam Bricker, a.k.a. Doc from The Love Boat, somehow by far its busiest coxsman, despite looking mid at best. In the spirit of Sarah's pick of Brooke Armstrong, I'm going to say Abby Morgan of Dawson's Creek. Spoiler for anyone listening to again with this. Sarah: [1:13:14] Sorry. Tara: [1:13:15] Of course, the Fish Police, we have to mention those. And not floating, extremely not floating, the would-be synchronized swimmers from the SNL sketch with Harry Shearer and Martin Short, where they are not truck swimmers but are still hoping to get into the Olympics in that sport. Sarah. Sarah: [1:13:33] I had the gentleman from the Hush episode of Buffy. One of the things that made them so creepy was the floating aspect. And the first thing I thought of, but it was like, just too hard to clip or explain. Samurai Jack fans, the episode when he is obliged to steal a cat burglar's clothes and then also steals the cat burglar's bag and is trying to get into an air taxi that is like balloon and ballast powered. So he has to dump ballast and the cab driver keeps dumping stuff and they're out of stuff and an angry mob is coming so he's like fine i'm just gonna empty out the burglar's sack and it is literally full of cats like he is a cat burglar, and uh i have always remembered that delightful episode and the cats they didn't fall far and they were fine but the one like green one that's just like i mean it's it's good and then they float away and everything is fine. And that's the last of my list. Dave: [1:14:37] And that is the end of the episode as well. We put up the industry mistletoe for our hallmarks finding Mr. Christmas before answering your burning ass EHG questions like, who's a door and what's your favorite Halloween costume? Dave didn't get angry with the results of the first ever anger canon. We celebrated those who weren't quite the best and worst of the week, and And we wrap it all up with a look at some of the best floating things on TV. I'll get your tacos out of the fryer, sir. Next up is the Brady Bunch in the White House with Tim Grierson post-election. We'll see how that goes. Remember. We're listening. I am David T. Cole. And on behalf of Tara Ariano. Tara: [1:15:23] Chip, chip. Dave: [1:15:24] And Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah: [1:15:27] If it's brown. Oh, shit. Dave: [1:15:29] Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time right here on Extra Extra Hot Great.