A Second Run At Mullendash

Dave: [0:36] This is the Extra Hockery Podcast, the second Mullendash special for a future week of our choosing. i am kid these days david t cole and i'm here with the anyone here who is from jersey sarah d bunting jug. Sarah: [0:54] Handles am i right. Dave: [0:55] Bossy working woman tara ariana no. Tara: [0:57] You're gonna make me snag my pantyhose. Dave: [0:59] Extremely dated reference brandy brown i'm. Brandi: [1:02] Just getting ready for y2k. Dave: [1:03] Quirky best friend type jill twist i. Jill: [1:06] Will listen to all of your problems and never bring up any of my own. Dave: [1:09] And the ad wizard who came up with this one, Josh Gondelman. Josh: [1:12] What's the deal with deals? Tara: [1:14] Hey, we did it! Welcome to Extra Hot Great for another week, as Dave said, of our choosing. We are recording this in late summer. It's coming out months and months and months from now when you are hearing this. We are once again assembling to play Mullen Dash. And this time we have three professional comedians and three idiots. So between the six of us. Josh: [1:43] The same, those are the same among the. Tara: [1:48] Among the six of us, we should be able to average out to, uh, you know, Mullen level of comedy. So for those who missed our last Mullen Dash episode back in January, 2023, this was a game we made up. It's basically taking Jim Mullen's hot sheet, RIP from Entertainment Weekly, also RIP Entertainment Weekly as a print magazine, where the idea is to turn it into Balderdash. So we would play this game whenever we got together in Television Without Pity Times, where we would read out Jim Mullen setups, and then we would try to supply our own Mullen-y punchlines. And basically, that's the game. There are two ways to get points on each setup. You can guess the real Mullen punchline for two points. You can also earn a point for each time one of your fellow players guesses your punchline. And for the purposes of this game, I wrote my own punchline as well. Just as a spoiler, I will not be playing for points just for glory to try to trick you. So the way it'll work is I'm going to read each setup and then all of the seven punchlines. You're going to guess. We'll tally the points. One of you will experience the complicated joy of being the best at being the worst, because that's Mullen. Before we get into it, though, let's welcome our guests. Welcome Brandy Brown! Dave: [3:05] Brandy! Sarah: [3:06] Brandy! Brandi: [3:07] Hello, hello. Tara: [3:08] Brandy, as we record this in the midst of Minnesota State Fair fever, is that fair to say? Brandi: [3:13] Yeah, yeah. Dave: [3:14] Yeah, sounds like it. Tara: [3:16] Yep. Brandi: [3:17] This is a calm before the storm starting tomorrow. Tara: [3:20] So I'm very excited for all the weird foods you're going to get to taste. We are welcoming back as well. Josh Gondeman. Hello, Josh. Dave: [3:27] Welcome back, Josh. Sarah: [3:28] Hello. Josh: [3:29] Thank you for having me. I'm also probably going to eat a bunch of weird stuff this week, but that's just like personal preference. Tara: [3:37] And joining us for the very first time, Jill Twist. Dave: [3:40] Welcome, Jill. Thank you. Sarah: [3:41] Jill. Jill: [3:42] Hello. Thank you for having me. Dave: [3:43] Tara, before we start, I feel like we have one more piece of business about Mullen, which is if you're new to Mullen, the real rub about Mullen Dash is that Jim Mullen is a particular type of person. And he's got parts of his brain that are dedicated to certain things, the roles of women, kids these days. He's of a particular vintage. So part of the challenge when you're trying to ape his punchlines is to get into his head. And it is both an exercise full of peril and self-doubt. So the better you do it, Mullen Dash, the more you question yourself, as you were saying. Tara: [4:17] That's right. Josh: [4:18] I like that you described this game as like being a serial killer profile, but for joke writing. Dave: [4:24] Uh-huh. Josh: [4:24] Serial killer profiler, rather. Dave: [4:26] Yeah, you're not wrong. Sarah: [4:27] Basically. Yeah, he's like, there's two genders, my lawn and get off it. I just like the boomeriest, whoever boomered. Tara: [4:36] Is everybody ready to play Mullen Dash? always slash never okay here we go question number one the bachelor a tv show gives a man six weeks to pick a bride out of 25 women here are everyone's punch lines number one after he spends five weeks trying to pick his jaw up off the ground number two after meeting those high moral standards, they'll be able to adopt in Florida. Number three, surprising that Disney got into the mail order bride business, M-A-L-E. Number four, does he also get to pick out 25 mothers-in-law? Number five, in the premiere episode, 50 prospective in-laws ask him when he's planning to give them grandkids. Number six, for most men, that's too many women and too many weeks number seven it's hollywood so he'll definitely pick the one with the biggest dot dot dot heart, oh boy there we go they're in the chat everybody. Dave: [5:42] Was up to the challenge here those are all very. Tara: [5:45] Yes i'm disgusted and impressed as that's how it goes dave you are up first which of these punch lines is the mullin. Dave: [5:56] Boy, I'm going through my mulling criteria and I'm not striking anything out on first pass, which is bad news for having to choose what you think is the real one. Usually I can zone in on something, but I think I might be picking at random here. I like, does he also get to pick out 25 mother-in-laws? Tara: [6:15] Okay. Sarah. Sarah: [6:17] This is a tough one to start with. I feel like Adopt in Florida is a little too, that's more Dennis Miller dash. So I'm going to eliminate that one. Tara: [6:27] Okay. Sarah: [6:27] When you have two that are kind of similar, that can either mean one of them is Mullen and someone on this panel is terrible and needs to leave. Or it could mean nothing. Great minds think alike and so do ours. At least one of those is too clever. And the other one is Mullen. I paralyzed basically okay too many women in too many weeks has too good of a rhythm like a lot of these are a little too well done to be mullen but biggest dot dot dot heart and then like you can hear him patting himself on the back so i'm gonna go with that last one all. Tara: [7:05] Right got it josh. Josh: [7:06] I'm going mail order bride business nice jill. Jill: [7:11] I wanted to be jaw off the ground but that one actually made me laugh. So I'm going to go with pick out 25 mothers-in-law. Tara: [7:21] Okay. Excellent. Brandy. Brandi: [7:24] Yeah, I'm going to go also with the mother's-in-law. Dave: [7:27] Ooh, somebody could get big points. Tara: [7:31] Well, somebody did get big points. That was Sarah D. Dave: [7:34] Bunting with 25 miles. Sarah: [7:37] Sorry. Tara: [7:40] Jaw up off the ground, that was Brandy. Disney in the mail-order bride business, that was Dave. He gets one point. Dave: [7:47] Thank you, Josh. Josh: [7:48] I loved it. Tara: [7:49] In the premiere episode, 50 perspective in-laws, that was Josh. Jill also gets a point for the one with the biggest dot dot dot heart that leaves too many women in too many weeks that was me and the mullen is not guessed after meeting those high moral standards they'll be able to adopt in Florida wow mullen no you think you've got mullen pinned down that is very Dennis Miller you're right Sarah dang all right good show. Dave: [8:19] Good show in that three pointer, but we all did that on the mullin on the first one. So we got to train the mullin brain. Josh: [8:24] Yeah. Tara: [8:25] I'm impressed with you all. Good job. Moving on to our next setup. Andrew Hsu, the Melrose Place star, is spending his summer playing pro soccer. Here are your punchlines. Number one, it's a real win-nil situation. Number two, expect him to sleep with half his teammates, then try to blow up a stadium. Number three, now he can spend the summer wearing a shirt on the bench instead of sitting around a pool with a shirt off number four don't they make you wear a shirt for that number five every time he heads the ball he yells protect the face number six instead of not using his head he won't use his hands and number seven to avoid fan attention his jersey will bear the clever pseudonym andrew foot sarah please start us off with the guessing. Sarah: [9:16] Oh boy. All right. A couple of these show a little more soccer knowledge than I'm willing to ascribe to Mullen. So when Nill is out, you know, shirt, shirt problem in two of the answers that I referred to last time, um, wearing a shirt on the bench instead of sitting around a pool with his shirt off is kind of the long way around the block to get to the house next door that we expect from mullen or. Tara: [9:43] Someone trying to be mullinesque. Sarah: [9:45] Yep that that could that could be it um once again i am uh i admire and um fear all of you and myself but i'm gonna go with sleep with half his teammates then try to blow up a stadium okay. Josh: [10:02] Josh you know i think sarah broke it down really well. I think that there is like a magazine-y monologue-y cleanness to don't they make you wear a shirt for that, that I think feels, it's like kind of a joke, but it has the right rhythm. So I'm going, don't they make you wear a shirt for that? Tara: [10:24] Excellent. Jill. Jill: [10:26] I'm going to go a different way than I did last time. I'm going to pick Andrew Foote because that's what I wanted. Tara: [10:32] That is a fine strategy. And sometimes it does pay off. Brandy. Brandi: [10:37] I'm going to go with, instead of not using his head, he won't use his hands. I'm going to guess that Mullen, you know, World Cup 94 was around. You know, maybe he knows about soccer a little bit. So, okay. Tara: [10:49] Dave. Dave: [10:50] Yeah, I think the soccer knowledge is a good point, but I think not using your hands permeates into the American psyche because it seems so foreign to them because they love using their hands in sports. That was my first choice, too. So I'm going to bag up Brandy with, instead of not using his head, he won't use his hands, but also plays into a Mullen Dash thing, which is he's way smarter than everybody else. Tara: [11:12] Okay. Dave: [11:12] So I think that plays into that. Sarah: [11:14] Good point. Tara: [11:15] Well, the Mullen was guessed this time. It was not Andrew Foote. However, that was Josh. Dave: [11:23] That was really great. Tara: [11:26] It wasn't, don't they make you wear a shirt for that? That was Sarah. it was not sleep with his teammates blow up a stadium that was me for no points, it was in fact instead of not using his head he won't use his hands two points each for dave and brandy and the rest of the punchlines win nil was dave wearing a shirt on the bench was brandy protect the face was jill and i already said yeah andrew foot excellent work i really enjoy Andrew Foote. Dave: [11:59] Like, that'd make a good sticker for our podcast. This one says Andrew Foote. Josh: [12:02] The funny thing about Andrew Foote to me is the further you get away from the name Andrew Shue in the setup, the less sense it makes. Tara: [12:13] Like, as the last one. Josh: [12:14] It almost just feels like a non-sequitur. Dave: [12:16] I think Foote should have been spelled with a U with some sort of mark over it. You know, just to get the misspelling of Shue and Shue in the mix, too. Why not make it more complicated? Tara: [12:25] Yep. This next one is sadder today than it was when I put it in our doc. Number three. This is from years ago, though. J-Lo. In a Super Bowl public service ad, she will urge the disengaged to register to vote. Here are our punchlines. Number one. What does a woman with that many husbands know about being disengaged? Number two. And she now prefers to be known as Jenny from the voting block. Number three. After all, it don't cost a thing. Number four, encouraging them to take their butts to the polls. Number five, hell, even if your wedding went as planned, you should register to vote. Number six, you can't change the spread if you don't vote. And number seven, the engaged will be too busy showing off the ring to their girlfriends. Josh, you are first up to pick. Let's go. Josh: [13:23] I feel like right off rip, we've got like a Mullen-esque kind of moralism and judgment about being engaged. But this feels like I'm trying to remember where we were in J-Lo's life because she did have a non-wedding at some point, right? So that even if your wedding went as planned, you should still register to vote is pretty good. But I feel like that's maybe too good. I'm going to go with number one. What does a woman with that many husbands know about being disengaged? Tara: [13:52] Okay. Jill: [13:53] Jill, same thing. I think it's what does a woman with that many husbands know about being disengaged? Tara: [14:00] Brandy. Brandi: [14:01] I'm going to go with the engaged will be too busy showing off the ring to their girlfriends. Tara: [14:07] Excellent. Dave. Dave: [14:08] All right. So another thing I believe about Mullen is he knows a little about a lot, but not a lot about a lot of things. So Jenny from the voting block, I think it's too into the weeds for Jim Mullen. So I'm going to take out that one. The one that I gravitate to is the level of Mullen knowledge, Venn diagram overlap with things that he is concerned about would be hell. Even your wedding went as planned. You should register to vote. Tara: [14:37] Okay, Sarah. Sarah: [14:40] Yeah, I mean, I feel like she hadn't had that many husbands like to completion by this point. Dave: [14:48] Okay. Oops. Sarah: [14:50] So that one is tempting. Jenny from the voting block is also tempting, but Dave's point is taken. I mean, you know, take their butts to the polls per Dave's point is also tempting, but I feel like hell, comma, even if like whoever did that, whether it was Mullen, if it is Mullen, that's a tell. And if it's not way to pick up Mullen's tells. So I'm going with hell, even if your wedding went as planned. Tara: [15:17] The mullin has been guessed. It is not. What does a woman with that many husbands know? That was me. The engaged will be too busy showing off the ring to their girlfriends. Nice job, Jill. The mullin was, in fact, hell, even if your wedding went as planned, you should register to vote. So two points each for Sarah and Dave. The rest of them, Jenny from the voting block, that was Josh. Encouraging them to take their butts to the polls is what I definitely would have voted for. that was that was very close that was brandy that's good and you can't change the spread if you don't vote that was too convoluted it was. Dave: [15:57] Super bowl betting and then like it went in sideways i wrote it i was like i'm too tired to change it but there's no way to. Tara: [16:02] Pick it and i was right i probably should have been saying the dates on these as well that was from january 9th 2004 so i'll do it from for these going forward all right next up from february 4th 2000 friends they don't know if they're gonna do another season punchline number one the real friends was the money they made along the way number two according to the cast we need more time to spend with our botox number three a spokesperson for nbc describes negotiations with the show's stars as quote stuck in second gear number four i guess the gang will finally have to get off the couch and get jobs, Number five, but maybe they'll be there for you and a wheelbarrow full of cash. Number six, it's obviously a negotiation tactic. No one would ever give up Monica's rent-controlled apartment. And number seven, would you want people fussing over your hair and makeup all day long for a lousy $100,000 a week? Dave: [17:04] Jill. Sarah: [17:04] These are all really good. Shit. Tara: [17:06] You're voting first. Jill: [17:08] These are really good. And by really good. Dave: [17:11] Yeah. Jill: [17:14] I'm gonna go with i guess the gang will finally have to get off the couch and get jobs. Dave: [17:21] Get a job is a big mullin oh that's very money for sure yes brandy. Brandi: [17:28] This is breaking my brain i don't think it's botox i think botox is a little later becoming a big thing that people referred to uh getting off the couch and getting jobs that's he does seem like one of those like get a job kids i just don't know if he would know enough about specific apartments in friends i'm gonna go with uh fussing over your hair and makeup all day for a lousy 100 000 he seems like the type that has like boris johnson hair and he's like why would you even fuss like it just seems like a thing he would complain about johnson hair i don't even know what he looks like this feels no one knows now that's. Tara: [18:08] Canon but yes it's canon out. Dave: [18:11] Dave yeah that one spoke to me too because it's got like class warfare in it you know like oh these rich people getting paid so much money and they just have to sit in their ass and have other people do their work for them feels very mullen to me so i agree with brandy on this one. Sarah: [18:24] Sarah uh well mullen isn't the only one on this panel that has a tell and i'm not going to say anything else about that but there are a lot of, pissy, so-called middle-class agita options in here that are very Mullen-y. I agree with Brandy that it's too soon for Botox. I think he might say something about the rent control department, but I think it's get off the couch and get jobs. That is my vote. Tara: [18:54] Okay, Josh. Josh: [18:55] Okay. I think it's a money one. I think get off the couch and get jobs would tear my brain in half. because their jobs were friends. Their job is just friends. So that, and I also think that, I think they were making more money. Like I think the a hundred thousand feels low for this when this was published. So I'm going to get, I'm going to go with the real friends was the money they made along the way. Tara: [19:23] Okay, the mullin was guessed, but it was not the money they made along the way. That was Dave. Sarah: [19:32] Fucking A was. Hi, Dave. Tara: [19:36] More time with our Botox. That was Jill. Stuck in second gear was Josh. I guess the gang will finally have to get off the couch and get jobs. That was Brandy. Dave: [19:48] That was my backup. It was so close. Sarah: [19:51] That was very good. Well done. Tara: [19:53] Huge round for Brandy. Maybe they'll be there for you and a wheelbarrow of cash. That was Sarah. Rent control department was me. The mullin was, would you want people fussing over your hair and makeup all day long for a lousy hundred thousand dollars a week? Mullen. Sarah: [20:08] Well played, everybody. Dave: [20:10] Yeah, that was a mullin. Somebody really packed in the mullinisms on that one, for sure. I had a lot going for it. Tara: [20:16] Yep. Okay, moving on from August 8th, 2003.coma. It seems 13 to 24 year olds now spend more time online than they do watching television. Dave: [20:27] Can I say about this one before you get through all the ones? Tara: [20:30] Yeah. Dave: [20:30] I read it and my first answer was dot coma joke style joke because that is an extremely Mullen thing. Like we could have taken. Sarah: [20:38] Yeah. Dave: [20:39] We could have taken dot coma second at the end of what you just said. Tara: [20:42] And it would have been a Mullen answer. True. However, these are your actual punchlines. Number one, which explains the announcement of Fox's steamy new fall drama, Santa Monica Chat Room. Number two, losing the remote control and the couch cushion has consequences. Number three, so much for there being too much sex and violence on TV. Number four, I wonder what they are watching. Number five, instead of going outside, they're looking in windows with a capital W. number six coming soon law and order aol and number seven looks like the nielsen corporation will have to start issuing a surf report brandy. Brandi: [21:28] Well as someone who was a nielsen family that was a time we lived yeah i know we had to scan all of our groceries with a little barcode thing it ridiculous um i sat a monica chat room i would actually watch that i'm not even gonna lie i feel like i feel like same that should be after the beverly hills let's just make up a show and see if anyone notices what year was this again this was 2003, Yeah, I don't think Law & Order was fully in there. Well, they could have been in their bag of spinoffs. But I got to go with, again, the Nielsen, the surf report. It feels smart, but also it just feels like Nielsen Corporation and surfing the web feels like a mulling. Josh: [22:18] Two things, one thing. Tara: [22:19] Dave. Dave: [22:20] Yeah. Surf report was my first thought, too, because it's dumb enough, and I'm going to guess 40-year-old man at the time kind of way. This is what I think about Jim Mullen. I don't know anything about him. He definitely does not live in Los Angeles. He is 40. He lives in the outer ring of the suburbs where back in the day it used to be a cabin, but now there's homes approaching his house and he's angry about that. That's where he lives, possibly Vermont. So the surf part really makes sense to me in that scenario. So I'm going to go surf report. Tara: [22:55] All right, Sarah. Sarah: [22:56] I mean surf report yeah um i just like law and order aol like i feel i mean aol is like is that too dated even for mullen it is very tempting but i i just feel the stench of extreme pride in his uh pun coming off of looking in windows capital w so i'm gonna go with looking in windows Okay. Tara: [23:25] Josh. Josh: [23:27] Yeah, the two that have been chosen so far are really compelling to me. I think that looking in windows has a little more like kids today to it. But Surf Report is equally annoying. They're equally annoying jokes. But I'm going to go looking in windows as well with Sarah. Tara: [23:52] Okay, Jill. Jill: [23:54] Um, I want it to be Santa Monica chat room, so it's surf report just feels like the right time. And by that, I mean that people said it probably like seven years before that. So I'm going to go with. Dave: [24:09] Yeah, that's a really good point. Surfing. Yeah. Mm hmm. Stale. Ooh, somebody's getting big points. Tara: [24:15] Maybe the mullin has not been. Dave: [24:18] No. Josh: [24:19] No. Sarah: [24:21] Oh. Tara: [24:23] Santa Monica chat room is Mr. Josh Gondelman. Dave: [24:26] Very good. Tara: [24:27] Losing the remote control on the couch cushion says consequences was Jill. Too much sex and violence on TV was, in fact, the mullin. Josh: [24:35] That stinks. Dave: [24:36] Oh, well. I can see it. Tara: [24:40] Wonder what they are watching was Dave. Looking in windows was Brandy. Oh, nice. Sarah: [24:46] Yeah, girl. Tara: [24:47] Law and Order AOL was me, and it originally was A slash S slash L, and then I was like, he doesn't know. Dave: [24:53] What that is that's. Tara: [24:54] Funny and then surf report is. Dave: [24:58] Sarah oh boy nice the. Sarah: [25:00] Worst i'm so sorry it's good. Dave: [25:03] That one's good i have a question for josh uh who is starring in santa monica chat room who are you seeing in oh three yeah or or if you want to cast it today. Josh: [25:15] Casting it today? Sarah: [25:16] Brad Rowe. I know I wasn't asked, but. Josh: [25:17] Wait, what were you saying? Tara: [25:18] Brad Rowe. Josh: [25:18] Brad Rowe? Oh, good call. Dave: [25:20] All right. Josh: [25:21] Yeah. It's actually, it's, we're getting, we're bringing the cast of challengers back. And we're getting them to do network. Dave: [25:29] Because of Santa Monica, can we get all the silver robot dudes on Thirsty Promenade to like also be supporting here? Of course. Okay, great. Josh: [25:36] Yeah. Tara: [25:37] I was trying to look up where Jim Mullen is located because at one point he was on LinkedIn, but I think he may have deleted his account. Maybe he was getting cyberbullied, not by me, I promise. Dave: [25:46] He's somewhere where he can look at deciduous trees, that much I know. Brandi: [25:49] See, I feel like with Surf Report also, he probably watched Hawaii Five-0, and that's like his entire knowledge, and then he heard about surfing the web, and so he's just like, yeah, Tom Selleck. Dave: [25:58] I think he also looks like Jack Lord, but with more flannel, so I think it's making sense. Tara: [26:03] I could see that. He. Josh: [26:04] Reminds me, like his opinions remind me of like what someone from DC thinks about entertainment like not the. Tara: [26:11] Not the city but. Josh: [26:12] Like the dc suburbs. Tara: [26:13] Like he strikes. Josh: [26:14] Me as like silver spring. Tara: [26:15] Maryland that's so damning so for that last round brandy gets two points sarah de bunting three points next from may 15th 1998 seinfeld there are many goodbye parties planned for the final episode your punch lines number one people across the country are gathering in hopes that the show finally resolves its central mysteries. What is the deal and who are these people? Number two, what's the deal with pigs in a blanket? Why do we make them so cozy right before we eat them? Number three, just remember not to double dip. Number four, bring your own snacks because there's no soup for you. Number five, nothing is going to happen anyway. Number six, the biggest ones will be at ABC and CBS. Number seven, today alone, I got seven invitations to soup buffets. Dave, you are guessing first once again. Dave: [27:15] Okay. I'm going straight for this one because it's the outlier and it plays into, because I had a lot of trouble answering this one. Well, you know, once we reveal the answers, we can, I can explain why, but I'm putting, I'm going all in on the biggest ones will be at ABC and CBS. Tara: [27:31] Okay. Dave: [27:32] The other ones are too Seinfeldy and I think he doesn't have Seinfeld knowledge. Tara: [27:36] Sarah. Sarah: [27:37] Same answer for the same reasons. Tara: [27:39] Okay. Josh. Josh: [27:41] I'm flipping it. It feels that feels like a little entertainment insidery in a way that I know he writes for an entertainment magazine, but he does not display any of that in any of the previous answers. So I'm going to go with the most straightforward Seinfeld reference of No Soup for You. Tara: [27:58] Okay, Jill. Jill: [28:00] I am between Nothing is Gonna Happen Anyway, and the biggest ones will be at ABC and CBS. And I think I have to go with the second one because it's the only one where everyone's happy the show's ending and he seems like he would find a way to be to have the opposite viewpoint of literally everyone at that time. Tara: [28:20] Brandy. Brandi: [28:22] Oh, I, I just don't think anyone's inviting him over for anything. I don't think he got seven invitations. I don't even think he could conceive of that many invitations. Josh: [28:33] Super V is so funny. Brandi: [28:35] For real, ABC and CBS the biggest ones will be I think that he does know at least which networks they're on but that's yeah that's it the. Tara: [28:47] Mullin was gassed, By most of you running down the list, people across the country are gathering in hopes that the show finally resolves the central mysteries. That was Josh. What's the deal with pigs in a blanket was Jill. Dave: [29:00] Okay, that was really good. Sarah: [29:01] That was really good. Josh: [29:02] I like that one. Dave: [29:03] I knew it wasn't Mullen because it was like, that's a good piece of writing. Yeah. Tara: [29:06] Yep. Double dip was Dave. Dave: [29:09] Yeah. Tara: [29:09] No soup for you was me. Nothing's going to happen was Brandy. ABC and CBS was in fact Mullen. and soup buffets was Sarah D. Bunting. Josh: [29:21] Soup buffet is a beautiful turn of phrase. Dave: [29:24] It's a funny turn of phrase. What my problem was... Josh: [29:27] You need so many bowls. Dave: [29:30] I couldn't approach his knowledge on a casual level. Do you know what I mean? If you're going to give a Seinfeld joke reference, how digging into the ground are you going to go? And I couldn't figure out. Josh: [29:42] And it makes sense that the outlier one was what it was because it's like it's not one that we would have written because it is so rooted in the moment but has nothing to do with like the show itself it's just about like the business of it. Tara: [29:55] Right i. Sarah: [29:56] Feel like he doesn't own a tv i feel like that was something that. Tara: [29:59] Was like conventional. Sarah: [29:59] Wisdom at the time that he like did not interact with the culture and lived in a well yeah. Brandi: [30:05] Definitely what he overhears with his like his door open to his office he's like shut. Sarah: [30:10] Up down there he. Tara: [30:11] Goes into the. Dave: [30:12] Town to the cafe once a. Tara: [30:15] Week on. Dave: [30:15] The weekends and he hears other people talking about pop culture so that's where he knows that seinfeld from. Tara: [30:20] Yep so two points to jill brandy and sarah and dave for guessing correctly and no points for me for tricking someone with no soup for you i like that, next from october 2nd 1992 miss america pageant this is one where the setup was kind of a joke itself and the setup is or how to dress like Ava Perrone in the 90s. Here are your punchlines. Number one, there she is, Miss Don't Cry For Her. Number two, no sassy readers need apply. Number three, Miss Connecticut's talent, tax fraud. Number four, don't cry for me, Miss Virginia. Number five, looking like grandma is everyone's talent this year. Number six, oh, say can you sequin. And number seven, meanwhile, we will select our new Mr. America on the first Tuesday in November. Sarah: [31:18] These are almost uniformly like the they're like heterogeneously terrible all in different ways so i don't know what to i don't know what to do like miss connecticut's talent tax fraud axel says what but then that's like the mullinies thing is it too mulliny it's like the mulliner's dilemma up here. He absolutely did not know what the fuck's ass he was. So that's out. Mr. America seems a little, I mean, that could be Mullaney. I don't think he actually thinks they look like grandmas. I think he probably thinks that 90s, like Miss America fashions are probably pretty hot. I don't want to speculate further on that because it's a family program. i oh god i don't know what to do but i'm gonna go with miss connecticut because it's either very mulliny or not at all and uh yeah it's the kind of. Dave: [32:19] Answer where you don't begrudge people getting the points for it it's. Sarah: [32:23] Not no you don't all right i won't josh. Josh: [32:27] Okay. I feel like it would be bizarre to bring up Ava Perrone in the setup, not to pay that off in any way. So I am just for the sake of structure, selecting don't cry for me, Miss Virginia. Tara: [32:45] All right. Jill. Jill: [32:46] I love that 80% of these are non-sequiturs. And I have the same thought process as Josh, which is like, you bring up Evita and then not, but I think, I think you will. I don't know who this man is. Tara: [33:03] You don't, but you do. Jill: [33:05] I don't, but I feel like I do now. He's a good guy and I like his work. i will choose meanwhile we will select our new mr america on the first day in november expensive to me in several ways brandy. Brandi: [33:24] Um i'm gonna go with meanwhile because eva perron was married to an argentinian president therefore mr america that's how he brings it up i'm gonna I guess that is exactly what he did. Tara: [33:35] Okay, Dave. Dave: [33:37] Yeah, that was, that seems very Mullen-y. I want to cut a path for Sassy. And I know it's probably like it's there because we do a podcast all about Sassy Magazine. So maybe this is Tara's. But Jim Mullen might have a daughter. And if he had a daughter at the time, she's probably 10 to 13 or so, if he's like in his 40s. Tara: [33:59] Mm-hmm. Dave: [34:00] He seems like the kind of guy that insists that he be the guy to check to get the mail, seems like a Mullen thing I can't quite tell you why but it seems like the man gets the mail kind of guy okay and if he does he knows the one or two magazines that his daughter gets is the sassy because every 13 year old in 19 92 92 probably is describing the sassy so that's my path to sassy Dave. Tara: [34:24] You're crazy for this one, But the mullin has been guessed. I love your thought process. It's like on Who Weekly when people call in and are like, do you think Michael Douglas knows who Chaperone is? And then they have to try and like think through, do they? Anyway, let's go down the list. There she is. Miss Don't Cry For Her was Brandy. No sassy readers need apply. This was the most unlikely thing that could have ever happened. But that's the fucking mullin, you guys. Dave: [34:50] No shit. Josh: [34:51] What? Tara: [34:52] The mullin. Dave: [34:53] Fuck. Yo. Sarah: [34:55] I mean What? Well, maybe Dave's BAU profile of Mullen is closer than we dreamed. Josh: [35:06] You just have like punchlines floating in front of you like a beautiful Mullen. Dave: [35:11] Do you think I could have been a profiler? You know, if the winds were shifted? Oh, man. Brandi: [35:17] Between that and like Mullen Hunter appearing at the DNC last night, like my brain is just not... Tara: [35:22] Do Josh: [35:23] You remember the year that he like he was registered to vote in georgia but was not in georgia so he like live tweeted his odyssey of like getting home to vote on voting day. Tara: [35:34] No that's amazing very charming yeah all right continuing miss connecticut that was me what did it mean i don't know miss virginia was jill looking like grandma was dave say can you sequin was sarah mr america was josh so the points shake out thusly none for me because i'm not really playing one point to jill for miss virginia two points to dave for guessing the mullin two points to josh, For Mr. America. Josh: [36:03] That's the one I enjoyed writing the least. Dave: [36:06] Yeah, this is the one I left to the very end. I couldn't figure out the structure. It was just too hard. My brain couldn't deal with it. Tara: [36:13] We're going to have one more question, then we'll take a pause and check the scores. This is from November 7th, 2003. Ellen DeGeneres. Her viewers have decided she should wear fancier clothes. Here are the punchlines. Number one, Ross Dress for Less is open until eight. Number two, ironically, they made that decision while sitting on their couches wearing pajamas in the middle of the day. Number three, but maybe there's no Walmart near her. Number four, is America ready for Ellen to come out as fashionable? Number five, starting with a pair of tap shoes. Number six, from now on, she's going to tuck in her necktie. And number seven, yep, she's frumpy. Josh, please start the guessing. Josh: [37:01] Okay ross dress for less feels to la um the some of these i i think i i think as america ready for ellen to come out as fashionable is so mean in a way that feels casual to him and i'm gonna guess that one all. Jill: [37:19] Right jill he does not know how late ross. Josh: [37:23] Dress for it um. Jill: [37:26] I'm gonna go with starting with a pair of tap shoes because i think he's a person that believes that like all comedians are variety acts like you know between the ventriloquist. Sarah: [37:43] Balloon art yeah oh. Josh: [37:45] This is the beginning of her dancing era yeah yes. Tara: [37:49] This is when she had a talk her talk show yeah brandy. Brandi: [37:54] See, I want to say, like, yep, she is frumpy. And, like, is America ready for Ellen to come out as fashion? Like, those are kind of, like, the same. But, like, I know I don't think it's Walmart. I don't think he doesn't even know about Walmart. I don't think he... Josh: [38:09] That's so mean, that one. Brandi: [38:12] I think the pajamas in the middle of the day, because he's just, like, looking down on people. And he's like, sure, they're wearing pajamas in the middle of the day, you know? Like, I think that seems very Mullinesque. It's wordy. It's looking down on people. I was wearing pajamas in the middle of the day. So yeah, sure. Tara: [38:30] Dave. Dave: [38:30] The thing about the Ross thing is that what store closes at eight o'clock? The one that seems like the low effort, not knowing too much about the subject matter in which he has been charged to hot sheet denies seems to me to be tucking her necktie. That seems like, I don't even know if she wears ties, but it seems like something he would assume and therefore gets on the hot sheet. Tara: [38:52] I think she did sometimes. Sarah. Sarah: [38:54] I mean, the yep, she's frumpy is some like that sort of a positive that he puts on sometimes. Plus, you can almost hear him writing it on a post-it while he's walking down the hall to the editor's office level of effort. But Brandy makes a good point about the wordiness of and the ironically also qualifies in that a positive way. I think it's is America ready for Ellen to come out as fashionable because this is absolutely the like lead in the obit level of familiarity that he's going to have with Ellen as a cultural figure. So I'm going to go with America ready. Tara: [39:32] The mullin was not cast. Let's run down the list. Ross Dress for Less was Dave. Made that decision sitting on their couches wearing pajamas was Josh. Josh. But maybe there's no Walmart near her. Was Mullen, that bitch. Dave: [39:48] What? Josh: [39:49] That's so mean. These ones, I can't believe how mean. The thing about that one that is so mean is that, like, for someone to host a daily TV show, you assume, even if they're not dressed in the way that you would prefer, that they are wearing clothes that cost some amount of money. Tara: [40:08] Right. Dave: [40:08] Right. Sarah: [40:09] Yeah. Brandi: [40:09] Unless he thinks that like Walmart is where you buy clothes like normally everyone buys. They could go either way. Tara: [40:16] No, I think he thinks her viewers wear Walmart and they are less than him. That's how I. Sarah: [40:23] Oh, interesting. Josh: [40:24] So he's so it's like it cuts both ways. It's like she wears sub Walmart clothes. And also these people think Walmart is like the fanciest clothes. Tara: [40:32] He hates everybody. Brandi: [40:34] I thought he lived in the middle of nowhere in Vermont. So. Josh: [40:37] Yeah. Tara: [40:38] So, come out as fashionable was Brandy, tap shoes was Sarah, tuck in her necktie was Jill, yep, she's frumpy was me, and the yep is a reference to the time cover when she came out. Sarah: [40:50] Oh, yeah. Brandi: [40:51] Yeah, that's why I was like, somebody here did that. Tara: [40:53] That's not you, right? So, the points are one for Josh, two for Brandy, one for Sarah, one for Jill. Let's take a moment to let our guests plug things they've been working on, things they want you to see. Brandy, where should our listeners go for more of you? Brandi: [41:13] Well, I don't know when this will be airing, but I keep it up all year. But when we're recording, it's State Fair week here in Minnesota. I will be going to the State Fair. And in my Instagram, it's thebrandi, I-T-S, the B-R-A-N-D-I. In the highlights, you can see like every day at the State Fair, I kind of post my stories there. And then also for some State Fair backstory on Defector, I have two articles, one of them about the 4-H llama costume contest. where they dress up llamas and alpacas. Tara: [41:41] Yep. Brandi: [41:42] Children wrestle with animals. It's adorable and fun. And then also another one where Amy Klobuchar refused to say the Minnesota State Fair was better than the Iowa State Fair because she is a centrist. And I wrote about that. Tara: [41:54] Fantastic. Josh: [41:54] Funny. Tara: [41:55] Thank you so much. Jill. Jill: [41:58] You can find me, unfortunately, on basically all social media by my full name, at Jill Twist. I also write children's books, which after today, I'm feeling pretty good about my writing. One of them is a children's book about voting called Everyone Gets a Say. Tara: [42:17] Fantastic. We will link that in the show notes. Josh. Josh: [42:21] Hello. I am also across social media at Josh Gondelman. I have a newsletter called That's Marvelous. It's free. It comes out every Monday and it's full of pep talks and jokes and all your Josh Gondelman life updates. I'm probably on the road whenever this happens so you can find my tour dates there at joshgondelman.com and depending on when this is out I have a new stand-up special coming out at some point in the future it is probably going to be called Positive Reinforcement Details to Come but maybe it's out now who can say, and maybe it's called something else this. Tara: [42:57] Is probably going to be either on Thanksgiving or just after in December so. Josh: [43:01] Okay so yeah Everything I say is still Holmes. Tara: [43:06] Okay, perfect. Jill: [43:08] But don't vote. Josh: [43:10] Don't vote. I don't think you should. If you were going to go to the polls the first week in December, you can save your time. Brandi: [43:19] You should definitely have voted because J-Lo would want that. J-Lo wants you to vote. Josh: [43:24] Pokemon, stay home. Brandi: [43:27] There might be a special election. If there is, you should definitely vote. Josh: [43:30] There could be a special election. Brandi: [43:31] Aren't they all special in their own way, though? Tara: [43:35] Let's check in on the scores here at the halfway mark i have jill and josh tied with five points each and at the top it's also a tie for dave sarah and brandy they all have 12 points i'm so proud. Sarah: [43:52] Slash ashamed i feel deep shame right now i've really let down my generation. Tara: [43:56] This is how you know you're playing the game right let's get back into it for the back half everything still could change this is from august 24th 2001 jackass johnny knoxville parted ways with the mtv show to focus on movies and here are the punch lines number one how many versions of hamlet do we need Number two, scenes he thought making the leap to feature films involved jumping off a hotel balcony, holding a chicken. Number three, upon hearing this movies said, no, thank you. Number four. Now we can watch him injure himself trying to act. Number five, his eyesight must be going to number six. You mean there are films Pauly Shore turned down and number seven. he's slated to star in a remake of A Streetcar Named Desire where the streetcar runs over his fingers in the opening scene. Jill, please start us off. Jill: [45:02] I love so many of these, but I think I'm going to go with the long one and say, seems he thought making the leap to feature films involved jumping off a hotel balcony, holding a chicken because I do like that. That is, I do feel like that is what, like if my dad was asked to guess what happened. Coming off of a hotel balcony holding a chicken. Tara: [45:36] Okay. Randy. Brandi: [45:38] I think that I'm going to go with upon hearing this movie said no thank you because I feel like someone tried to tell him about Johnny Knoxville and he said no thank you. So he's like, I am movies. No thank you. So I think it's just straight away. No. Do not want. Sarah: [45:55] Dave. Dave: [45:56] I'm not going to pick these two, but I super enjoyed how many versions of Hamlet do we need. It's really funny. And the streetcar named Desire for the streetcar runs over his fingers and the opening scene is so stupid. They're both too smart for Jim Mullen. I think the Hamlet one could be Mullen, I suppose. But the one that I am going for, because again, it's in the time and it's also playing to his I'm better than you. You mean there are films Pauly Shore turned down. Tara: [46:25] Okay. Sarah. Sarah: [46:26] I agree that Hamlet and Streetcar, as much as I cherish these answers, I cherish them because they are humorous, unlike 98% of Mullen content, at least intentionally. I seem to recall that he definitely had hard-on for Pauly Shore and would try to fucking drive by that kid like the culture needed any help at every opportunity. So I am going to vote for Pauly Shore. Dave: [46:58] The other thing to remember about Mullen, he is definitely a bandwagon kind of guy when it comes to slamming people. So, yeah, that is one that spoke to me, too. Tara: [47:07] If we were doing music, there would definitely be achy, breaky, heart jokes in here for sure. Okay, Josh. Josh: [47:14] Hamlet is so funny. That really got me. Very good joke. If this is him, it's maybe the best joke he's ever written. um movie said no thank you is too funny i also think it's a very norm mcdonald in construction, in a way that doesn't feel like i'm gonna go now we can watch him injure himself trying to act sneering surface level understanding of jackass boom yeah. Tara: [47:43] The mullin was gassed, Hamlet was me. No points, but thank you for the kudos. Very good. Josh: [47:49] Very funny. Sarah: [47:49] Very good. Tara: [47:51] Making the leap was Sarah Demunting. Movie said no thank you was Jill. Very good joke. I agree about the norm thing. Injure himself trying to act was Brandy. Eyesight must be going was Dave. Pauly Shore was in fact the mullin. And streetcar named Desire was Josh. Sarah: [48:11] That was very good. Dave: [48:13] I like that you wrote a little short story. Josh: [48:16] Originally it was streetcar runs over his penis But I felt like it was too explicit And that would be like a red flag I. Sarah: [48:24] Also love that it's in the opening scene. Josh: [48:27] Like thank you for that You gotta start off with a bang Yeah you do Make it yours. Tara: [48:33] Alright so the points Three points to Sarah for tricking one person And guessing correctly One point to Jill One point to Brandy Two points to Dave. Josh: [48:45] 2001, he's still taking shots at Pauly Shore. Sarah: [48:50] God, yeah. Josh: [48:51] I can't believe this is a real want to feel old moment that Johnny Knoxville left Jackass 23 years ago. Tara: [48:58] Well, I mean, he didn't leave the franchise, but yes, you're right. Brandi: [49:01] It was the biggest thing to happen in 2001. Sarah: [49:05] Especially in that fortnight. Dave: [49:08] Yeah, wow. Jill: [49:09] That makes sense, though, because we have seen him in 20 years worth of movies. Tara: [49:15] Next from july 16th 1999 buffy the vampire slayer there's a surefire way to keep your teens from watching this week's controversial season finale and i'm gonna warn everybody there was a lot of parallel thought on this one here are your punch lines tell them you'll be watching with them number two tell them you liked it, Number three, show them any other episode of the show. Number four, say you're having your friends over for a viewing party. Number five, offer to watch it with them. Number six, plan to watch it too. Number seven, throw out your television and become Mommy the TV Slayer. Josh: [49:59] Wow. Tara: [50:00] Holy shit, you guys. That last one. Josh: [50:03] Mommy the TV Slayer. Dave: [50:06] I've got four sticker ideas so far From this one episode. Josh: [50:09] Show them any other episode Of this show is so funny too That is savage It's so mean and it also implies That the kids wanted to watch it But had never seen any other episode Before and didn't enjoy the show Okay Brandy. Brandi: [50:28] We broke her Oh my gosh, they're all like I guess like the first decision. Dave: [50:39] You have to make is am I going with parents make things uncool or not and that'll filter your question list quite a bit. Brandi: [50:46] The sure way well the sure way is to throw out the TV, true, I'm gonna say say you're having your friends over but he doesn't have friends I don't know I'm gonna say yeah, I'm going to say that say you're having your friends over. Tara: [51:08] Okay. Dave. Dave: [51:09] So remember, he's got a 10 to 13-year-old sassy loving daughter in the house. Tara: [51:14] In the canon, yes. Josh: [51:14] We know that now. Dave: [51:15] We know that now. Tara: [51:16] That's right. Dave: [51:17] I'm going to put it on his Wikipedia page when we're down here. Sarah: [51:19] Thank you, Quantico. Dave: [51:21] So I think it's one of those. I think it's one of the parent ones. I think it's like parents like their four kids stop liking, but there's like three of those. Offer to watch it with them. Plan to watch it too. Friends, I think it's like one level too much. Tell them you liked it. And tell them it was four. Holy shit. crapshoot offer to watch it with them no plan to watch it too plan to watch it too. Tara: [51:43] Plan to watch it too. Dave: [51:44] Yeah. Sarah: [51:45] Okay sarah this is really this is really tough i have a feeling that it is in the parents will um turn off like generation gap it's one of those four but which one is the question and And there's that like extremely micro, like fine tuning of how careless and hack and Melanie is the phrasing. Like you're really at the granular level. I agree with Brandy that he does not have friends. I don't think he necessarily acknowledges that mommies have decision making power about like physically ejecting your giant box television with a VCR in it into a canyon near your house. Josh: [52:28] That's a man's work. Sarah: [52:30] Show them any other episode of the show. I mean, it's not impossible, but that just feels like it feels extremely mean in a way that is like two to the library is open for Mullins. So I'm going to go with offer to watch it with them. Tara: [52:47] All right, Josh. Josh: [52:49] Okay. Tell them you liked it is in the wrong verb tense, which I don't think means he didn't write it, but it does make my brain itch because it still hasn't happened yet. Same with plan to watch it too doesn't do the job of creating a prophylactic for the children because they don't know your plans unless you tell them. so it's the telling that's the thing again that doesn't mean he didn't write it, so it's offer to watch it with them tell them you'll be watching it too and I just like how hard he's hammering oh yeah again doesn't have friends tell them you'll be watching it too the you'll I like the hammer of that Josh has. Dave: [53:36] Convinced me with his grammar lesson. Josh: [53:37] Yeah I want to change it. Dave: [53:39] To what Josh said. Josh: [53:40] To tell them you'll be watching it with them Josh that's. Tara: [53:44] Your pick as well. Josh: [53:44] Tell them you'll be watching with him. Yeah. Tara: [53:46] Got it. Jill. Jill: [53:47] Yeah. I think it's one of these as well. And I'm trying to think of which one is ends the worst. Tell them you'll be watching with them and plan to watch it too. But I think two is the worst possible word. So I'm picking plan to watch it too. Tara: [54:05] Okay, guys. It was bound to happen. The Mullen was not guessed. Dave: [54:10] No. Wow. Tara: [54:12] Tell them you'll be watching with them, was Miss Sarah D. Dave: [54:16] Bunter. Sarah: [54:17] No! The mullin, in fact. Tara: [54:18] Was. Brandi: [54:19] AKA, the mullin. Tara: [54:20] And Josh was right. The wrong verb tense didn't mean he didn't watch it. Tell them you liked it, is the mullin. Dave: [54:26] Fuck. Tara: [54:26] Tell them you liked an episode that hasn't aired yet. Josh: [54:29] We all wrote a better version of the same joke. Tara: [54:33] Yes, we did. Sarah: [54:34] This is the problem with mullin dash. Brandi: [54:37] Fuck this man. And they had copy editors then, too. Like, what happened? Sarah: [54:41] I can't imagine any of them agreed to go near it after a while. Tara: [54:47] Any other episode of the show was Jill. Viewing party was me. Offer to watch it with them was Josh. Josh: [54:55] Sarah and I were brain twins and we picked each other's answers. Tara: [54:59] Plan to watch it too was Dave. Throw out your television to become mommy the TV slayer. Too good a joke from Brandy. Sarah: [55:07] Yeah, that was pretty great. Sorry, that was much too funny. mommy the tv slayer it's so bad. Dave: [55:15] When we played this in uh the the way this started originally when we're actually still using paper slips and like going through them and choosing which ones to do in a room full of people balderdash style um we also would have a vote for the actual funniest answer. Tara: [55:29] Yeah so. Josh: [55:30] That would be like a minigame within the game yeah so definitely which is tough because it probably means furthest from getting chosen. Tara: [55:37] Yeah two points for sarah one point for josh one point for dave and no points for me for fooling from december 29th 1995 we're moving on to er where no one signs forms or waves for hours here are the punch lines does it take place in chicago or fantasy land number two there must be an additional copay for such attractive doctors number three on the minus side george clooney seeing you naked isn't a good thing number four and your doctor is so hot he gives you a fever number five are we sure this show's not swedish number six no wonder it's so popular number seven with apologies to star trek deep space nine it's the best science fiction show on television dave oh. Dave: [56:29] So the question here for me is can i filter this by state of health care because that feels like a mullin thing, so like are we sure the show is not swedish i guess that that's like a dig at socialized health care versus american health care why swedish not canadian though maybe he hates canadians the. Josh: [56:51] 10 mullin dollar question. Sarah: [56:52] He doesn't know canada's not a state. Tara: [56:54] Dave come on. Dave: [56:57] I'm going to go with the most direct one of those and say, no wonder it's so popular because it speaks to a lack of knowledge of the show, which I think might be a part of this. But the Dr. Hot thing, it gives you a fever, is also pretty good in a Mullen way. But I'm going to stick with popular. Tara: [57:13] Okay. Sarah. Sarah: [57:14] Yeah. With apologies to whoever actually wrote the Star Trek Deep Space Nine one, there's no way that he knows about syndicated. Dave: [57:21] I put money on Josh for that one. Tara: [57:22] Star Trek. Sarah: [57:23] After Streetcar. that that was uh that would get the meta funniest award probably um additional copay is good but like too too good for mullin and like is he attractive like that's absolutely how he would write it but it's like too mulliny i think that dave is correct and no wonder it's so popular it's like this is what i can say based on what i know about most other civilians in journalism having to deal with, you know, healthcare in this country and ER, which somehow he would not even know. Like, I don't think he knows who's on it. I don't think he knows it's in Chicago. So yeah, even though no wonder it's so popular as like almost too elegantly concise for Mullen, I still think it's him. Tara: [58:11] Okay. Josh. Josh: [58:13] I'm going to go with the same as Dave and Sarah, but I also want to share an anecdote because and your doctor is so hot he gives you a fever reminds me of i was in college it's it's my friend the day that we're recording this is my friend colleen's birthday happy birthday colleen thank you uh i'll tell you said that we were hanging out there's a coffee shop on campus and there was a german student who worked on the coffee shop at the coffee shop and one night he was trying to flirt with her and he said and he's very handsome guy um and and like good athlete whatever he goes, Colleen you are when you light a cigarette you probably don't even need a lighter because you are so hot that it lights itself and she was like what? kind of taken aback by the like poetic way he was hitting on her and she's like what? and he goes sorry language barrier which is so incredible just like hunted so hard I was like god that's so smooth. Dave: [59:10] Who would have thought that guy would go on to star in Predator and Commando. Brandi: [59:15] That was actually the alternate title of uh mullen's column. Josh: [59:20] Sorry this is a valid. Sarah: [59:25] Excuse that mullen could use language barrier, jill. Jill: [59:31] Um i don't think he would apologize to star trek. Josh: [59:34] Deep space um i'm. Jill: [59:37] Gonna go with there must be an additional co-pay for such doctors. Tara: [59:41] All right, Brandy. Brandi: [59:43] I'm going to guess that he actually did know it was in Chicago, but he confused Chicago Hope and ER. Josh: [59:49] And so I'm going to say that he says. Brandi: [59:51] Does it take place in Chicago or Fantasyland? Sarah: [59:54] Totally. You're so right. Tara: [59:57] The Mullen has been guessed. Chicago or Fantasyland was me. Dave: [1:00:02] Oh. Josh: [1:00:02] Okay. Tara: [1:00:03] Additional co-pay was Brandy. George Clooney was Sarah. Gives You a Fever was Jill. That was my personal favorite on this one Loved it Swedish was Dave No wonder it's so popular The almost content free punchline Is in fact Mullen Yes And Deep Space Nine was Josh With apologies. Sarah: [1:00:32] To Josh Gondelman That was too funny Sorry Our. Tara: [1:00:35] Scores are 1 for Brandy 2 for Sarah 2 for Dave 2 for Josh Before. Dave: [1:00:42] You start reading the next one, I just want to say this was the most fucked up one on the list. Sarah: [1:00:46] Yeah. Dave: [1:00:46] It was like, it gave me the oogies, but proceed, please. Tara: [1:00:49] I'm going to say that is reflected in the punchlines as well. Sarah: [1:00:53] Oh, God. Okay. Tara: [1:00:55] From March 15th, 1991, TV pregnancies. Norval, Vera, Chung, Shriver, Lupone, and God knows who else. It's a breeding festival. Brandi: [1:01:07] Jesus Christ. Tara: [1:01:09] And here are your punchlines, because that wasn't it. Josh: [1:01:11] The dating festival is a loathsome turn. Brandi: [1:01:14] Yeah, but it's just like. Sarah: [1:01:15] What? Tara: [1:01:16] Not okay. No, I agree. Josh: [1:01:18] J.D. Vance's EW call. Sarah: [1:01:20] Seriously. Jill: [1:01:21] The opposite of Steve Buffet for me. Josh: [1:01:24] It is, yes. Brandi: [1:01:25] He's like, it makes it seem like he's like, they're trying to make more news babies. Like, it doesn't matter. Tara: [1:01:32] Here are the punchlines. Sarah: [1:01:33] In that voice, too. Tara: [1:01:34] Number one, breaking babies. Number two. number two i don't know what's in the water but if i were alex trebek i'd switch to perrier, Number three, don't watch without protection. Number four, television must synchronize biological clocks. Number five, but I hear an Emmy makes a great bottle drying rack. Number six, best in show goes to whichever one gives birth live on air. And number seven, someone had a busy month. Josh: [1:02:11] That's really funny. Tara: [1:02:14] Sarah good luck. Sarah: [1:02:16] Starting this one off i have to start yeah you do i don't breaking baby, that's good that's very good almost low effort enough for mullen but also like too low effort for mullen in a weird way alex trebek is very good very well written ergo probably not mullen don't watch without protection is tempting the synchronization of biological clocks is tempting bottle drying rack like i know that in you know the profile he has a kid i'm not sure he knows how like any of the things that got it to tween age best in show goes to whichever one gives birth live on air is like it's a little too wordy the breeding festival reference is picked up in this equally sort of like loathsome let's compare it to a dog show it's so bad, like verse that he's in yeah i mean someone had a busy month like true but and even a broken mullen is right twice a month i guess but i think this is just like a little too neat so i'm going with best in show because it is of a piece grossness wise with the rest of it so i hope mullen wrote. Josh: [1:03:39] It because if. Sarah: [1:03:39] It was one of you. Josh: [1:03:41] You'd be bike racks three o'clock. Sarah: [1:03:46] Who's next Josh. Josh: [1:03:47] Bess and Joe is so brutal someone had a busy month is legitimately very funny right because it implies that one person got them all pregnant, that's I think that's too funny breaking babies is also very funny and it feels like a Jill twist joke, just as like a straight up like it just like really makes me laugh at how abrupt and economical it is i don't watch without protection almost feels too wait tar can you read the setup one more time please i'm sorry to do this not. Tara: [1:04:23] At all tv pregnancies norville viera chung shriver lupone and god knows who else it's a breeding festival. Josh: [1:04:31] I'm gonna go with don't watch without protection It feels a little too risque. Jill: [1:04:35] Breaking Babies. Like a Breaking Bad prequel. Sarah: [1:04:43] Animated. Dave: [1:04:45] Yeah, it's like Muppet Babies. Sarah: [1:04:46] Jesse Binky. Jill: [1:04:49] Which is why I'm not picking it. But I think I'm going to go with Don't Watch Without Protection. Tara: [1:04:57] All right, Brandy. Brandi: [1:04:59] Um, I'm going to say that he, he, he peaked in his own like crassness with the breeding part and he's going to like tone it down a little back in. Uh, so I'm going to say that I hear an Emmy makes a great bottle drying rack. Tara: [1:05:11] Okay. Dave: [1:05:12] Yeah. That's the one that really spoke to me too, because it is all about these people, right? They're all storied performers. So, and that one feels dismissive to the industry, you know, using your Emmys with the two wings or whatever they are. That one feels right to me. And it also plays into like the woman's place is taking care of the kids, which I think is like one quarter of the Mullen brain. So I'm going to back up Brandy on her choice. Tara: [1:05:37] The Mullen was not guessed. Dave: [1:05:40] Fuck. Brandi: [1:05:40] Okay. Dave: [1:05:41] Whoever did the Emmy one, hats off. I was convinced that was Mullen. Tara: [1:05:44] We'll get to it. Breaking babies was Brandy. Sarah: [1:05:49] That was good. Josh: [1:05:51] It's very funny. Tara: [1:05:53] Mary A was Josh. Don't watch without protection was me. Dave: [1:05:58] Nice. Josh: [1:05:58] Oh, very good. Tara: [1:05:59] Television must synchronize biological clocks was Mullen. Dave: [1:06:04] Oh, okay. Sarah: [1:06:05] Yeah. Makes sense. Josh: [1:06:07] It feels, yeah. It's the midpoint between best in show and don't watch without protection. Tara: [1:06:13] Mm-hmm. Well, bottle drying rack was Sarah. Dave: [1:06:17] Oh, fuck Sarah. Josh: [1:06:18] Very good. Dave: [1:06:19] Dick. Tara: [1:06:19] The sicko who brought us all best in show was among us. It's Jill. Sarah: [1:06:24] Oh, Jill. Dave: [1:06:25] Jill. Sarah: [1:06:26] How dare you? Also, that was brilliant. So disgusting. Jill: [1:06:31] I thought you should be the most delightful one to me. Tara: [1:06:35] And busy month was Dave. So our scores for this round, two for Sarah D. Bunting and one for Jill. Josh: [1:06:44] Busy month is very Hamlet-coded in that it's just a perfect joke for this form and so far beyond what this guy does. Dave: [1:06:53] That is exactly what I was thinking when I wrote out that nobody's got to take this. But now that it's in my head, I feel like I have to commit it. Tara: [1:06:59] All right. We're in the homestretch now from May 2nd, 1997, National TV Turnoff Week. You know why you don't hear much about this? Here are the punchlines. Number one, because the few people who tried it died. Number two, it's only mentioned in entertainment magazines. Number three, because it's not advertised dot dot dot on TV. Number four, because you have to read about it. Number five, because all the ads ran in the paper during put down the paper week. Number six, you already turned your TV off weeks ago. and number seven because they announced it during a commercial on international tv turnoff week. Josh: [1:07:46] Wow some really good ones here that i like a lot i'm. Tara: [1:07:50] Impressed oh boy josh you are first this round. Josh: [1:07:53] Ah shit there are so many that are so funny like the few people who tried it died is really funny uh and too absurd for him put down the paper week is too funny international turnoff these are like So many that are just like right in the pocket. I think, God, it's to me, it's kind of, wait, when did this, what was the date on this? Tara: [1:08:16] The date on this was May 2nd, 1997. Josh: [1:08:20] Okay. So that's not quite summer when people wouldn't be watching new TV shows. Sarah: [1:08:25] It would be sweeps. If it was Phil. Tara: [1:08:26] No sweeps. Josh: [1:08:27] Yeah. Right. If it was August, I would have gone with that one. I think for me, it's between because you have to read about it and because it's not advertised dot, dot, dot on TV. And then again, I think because that ellipsis is kind of a hammer, I'm going with that one. Tara: [1:08:40] All right. Jill. Jill: [1:08:42] I agree there's something about uh the the condescension of like you people are yeah the exact. Sarah: [1:08:51] Thing that. Jill: [1:08:52] I'm in a magazine writing about but somehow i'm still mad at you for it, dot dot dot on tv okay. Brandi: [1:09:01] Brandy yeah i i think it's uh let's see um definitely not the people who tried it died so but maybe. Sarah: [1:09:10] Um i. Brandi: [1:09:13] Think yeah i think because it's not advertised on tv. Dave: [1:09:16] It's just that's the answer that's like the obvious answer. Brandi: [1:09:19] It would be and therefore it's probably okay. Dave: [1:09:22] There's a lot of points going to this one that's all right don't think bad of me but i actually think it's the first one i think it is because the few people who tried it died it just seems so. Sarah: [1:09:33] Final to me i don't know there's something there's something like huffy about it my. Josh: [1:09:37] Hat would literally and figuratively. Dave: [1:09:39] Be off to him if that was i'm gonna be honest i want to pick because it's not advertised but i'm i'm fearful that that is sarah's i don't want to give him more points he. Sarah: [1:09:48] Has because i think she's in first can i change my answer. Brandi: [1:09:51] Actually oh yes i'm gonna go with it's only mentioned in entertainment magazines i feel like at this point he's just testing the waters with his own employer so i think he's just it. Dave: [1:10:01] Makes me feel better but i'll stick with that for the sake. Brandi: [1:10:03] Of like. Dave: [1:10:04] You know going out with the bath water your. Tara: [1:10:05] Pick has died dave. Dave: [1:10:06] Yeah okay sarah. Sarah: [1:10:08] I think the few people who tried it died either dave is correct and this is like a sassy-esque thing where it's like oh he actually did one that was funny or it's tara i'm pretty sure it's tara so that. Tara: [1:10:23] Is a very me coded joke. Sarah: [1:10:25] That is true because the few people in this joke is me the friends who died along the way um it's only mentioned in entertainment magazines is is tempting and put down the paper week like i'm not voting for it but steven wright energy i i'm into it um you already turned your tv off weeks ago is also tempting because it's like wait what but it's that like wrong tense thing where it's like is this like actually wrong on purpose or he just doesn't give a shit, it's only mentioned in entertainment magazines is my answer the. Tara: [1:11:04] Mullin was guessed, And it's because the few people who try to die. Wow. Sarah: [1:11:12] Truly incredible. Oh my God. Josh: [1:11:14] That's really funny. Dave: [1:11:16] I only guessed it because so many people were going with advertised. That's the only reason I went for it. Tara: [1:11:21] It's only mentioned in entertainment magazines was Mr. David T. Cole. Dave: [1:11:25] Oh, big points for me. Tara: [1:11:26] Four points for this round. Sarah D. Bunting also cleaned up though, because it's not advertised. Dot, dot, dot on TV was hers. Dave: [1:11:32] I knew it. I knew it. Josh: [1:11:34] Yep. Sarah: [1:11:34] Yep. Tara: [1:11:36] Because you have to read about it was josh because all the ads read in the paper during put down the paper week was brandy you already turned your tv off weeks ago was me and because they announced it during a commercial on international turnoff week that's so funny i like. Dave: [1:11:53] That one because i like to believe there's an even bigger organization like. Tara: [1:11:58] It's like Spectre or something. Sarah: [1:11:59] It's like the Olympics Committee. Josh: [1:12:01] Just ate the lunch of National Turn Off the TV Day. Dave: [1:12:04] And then, of course, there's the Galactic Council that governs them. Tara: [1:12:08] So, four points to Dave, two points to Sarah. Moving on to September 17th, 1993. Conan O'Brien. Another feather in NBC's cap. Here are the punchlines. And yet another thorn in David Letterman's side. Upon hearing the news, Jay Leno asked for a hug from his 23rd car. Number three, too bad it's attached to a flaming arrow. Number four, number one, on the top 10 things no one is saying about late night shows. Number five, and his bright red hair actually looks right at home on that peacock. Number six, a very young, very tall feather. Number seven, too bad it doesn't tickle your funny bone. Dave: [1:12:54] Oh, no. Tara: [1:12:58] Love that reaction. Jill. Jill: [1:13:01] Oh, man. I have to decide how mean he is. Who he's mean to. Tara: [1:13:07] Right. Jill: [1:13:09] Too bad it doesn't tickle your funny bonus. I think it, on the one hand, it's not too good. But on the other hand, why bring up the feather? He's the one that brought up the feather. We didn't think up the feather. Dave: [1:13:21] But didn't he, with the Ava Perrone one, that was like, here's all this stuff. Josh: [1:13:26] A real zig and zag. Sarah: [1:13:28] That's true. Jill: [1:13:29] That's so true. Josh: [1:13:31] Just like cultural references all over the place. Like fucking Ghostface Killers. Brandi: [1:13:36] He's just playing backwards. i. Jill: [1:13:38] Can assume there's anything deliberate here or that yeah that's true all logic is gone i think i'm gonna go with uh a very young very tall feather okay brandy. Brandi: [1:13:51] Um i think i i was torn between the tall feather and the bright red hair but i think that he does know that the peak what the peacock logo is i don't think he knows how tall uh conan o'brien is so i'm gonna say he sees the hair, which everyone sees, and he sees a peacock, and that's what he's going to go with. He just knows NBC has a peacock, and there's a dude with red hair. Tara: [1:14:11] That's right. Dave? Dave: [1:14:13] Yeah, I wonder if he even knows that much, because is this just before he started, right? Tara: [1:14:19] Yes. Dave: [1:14:19] So the show isn't on the air yet. The Conan O'Brien show, I mean. Tara: [1:14:22] Yeah. Well, I don't know. It was around that time. Dave: [1:14:25] It was close to that, yeah, but this feels like he's writing it, not having seen Conan O'Brien on air yet, and it was to me. So I feel like it's either too bad it's attached to a flaming arrow or too bad it doesn't tickle your funny bone. Because I feel like those speak to the arrow without speaking to Conan O'Brien a lot, which I think is probably going to be his deal here. Listen to me overthink this. I really enjoyed Jay Leno asked for a hug from his 23rd car. Sarah: [1:14:53] Very good. Yeah. Dave: [1:14:55] I'm putting money on Josh for that one. I'm going to go with flame. Why is it flaming though? If it's got a, Oh, flaming at the start. Okay. Flaming arrow. So the feather isn't on there on fire is the tip. Tara: [1:15:07] So flaming arrow is your pick. Dave: [1:15:11] Well, it's that or tickle your funny bone, but let's go with flaming arrow. There's something indirectly direct about that. that seems off-kilter enough when compared to Ticklerly Funny Bun. Tara: [1:15:22] Okay. Sarah. Sarah: [1:15:24] Yeah, both the two bads are tempting, and the bright red hair and peacock one is one of those, like, you know, did he really think about it that much? But he thought about it just enough to find a line that encompasses the two things he knows about Conan. That one is tempting. The hug, I feel like that's got Jill's fingerprints on it. So another Thorne and David Letterman side. Is it a little too well-structured with the parallel structure? Probably. But I think the Thorne and Letterman side is Mullen because the others kind of require the show to have aired yet. And it hadn't, I don't think, at this point. I think Conan himself became a punchline later in that season. So I'm going with Thorne. Tara: [1:16:14] All right, Josh. Dave: [1:16:16] If it matters, just let me interject here for a sec. I just looked it up. It debuted four days before the date on this item. Tara: [1:16:23] So I'm going to guess it was- The issue was out already by the time it premiered. Dave: [1:16:26] So I'm going to guess it's before. This was written before it debuted then. Tara: [1:16:29] Yeah, but he had already been on Leno and stuff. They introduced him. Dave: [1:16:33] He did press and whatever. Just give me any information. Tara: [1:16:34] Okay. Josh: [1:16:35] Interesting i'm not gonna let that change my answer because as though i'm the only person that had that piece of information before choosing right because jill did jill start we. Dave: [1:16:43] Can all change our answers you're not locked in until we're our. Josh: [1:16:46] Last yeah yeah yeah okay i think you said young. Tara: [1:16:53] Tall feather right. Jill: [1:16:54] Yeah i don't know. Josh: [1:16:55] It was tall feather because i don't feel like it would be young tall feather too bad it doesn't tickle your funny bone is like the best version of the thing he would do the beginning of the joke tracks with the end of the joke it's about him not liking something he definitely doesn't understand conan like there's no way he's like an early like this guy's really got the juice. Dave: [1:17:25] But true but do you think he's watched it like do you think he would write that without having watched it i. Josh: [1:17:30] I don't think it matters to him if he's watching yeah okay. Dave: [1:17:33] Yeah that's a good no yeah it's a good definitely doesn't yeah. Josh: [1:17:35] Thorn and david letterman's side really tracks with the like abc and cbs are really celebrating the science, but i think i think i'm going with funny bone okay the mulling i know i'm going with funny. Tara: [1:17:53] Mullen has been gassed. Thorne and David Letterman's side was Brandy. Dave: [1:17:58] Nice. Tara: [1:17:59] Hug from his 23rd car was Jill. Dave: [1:18:02] Okay. Josh: [1:18:02] For sure. Tara: [1:18:04] Flaming Arrow was, in fact, the Mullen. Josh: [1:18:08] Wow. Sarah: [1:18:09] Wow. Josh: [1:18:10] David, you're locked in in a way that's terrifying. Dave: [1:18:13] If you didn't listen to the last episode, this happened in the last episode, too. What I was saying about profiling, like, maybe I could have done that. Josh: [1:18:21] You're the Molentalist. Dave: [1:18:23] Yes. All right. Tara: [1:18:27] Let's go. Dave: [1:18:27] Put that on the sticker list. Tara: [1:18:31] Dave's answer was top 10 things. Bright red hair. Looks at home on that peacock was Josh. Young tall feather was Sarah. And funny bone was me. Oh, okay. Points are as follows. One for Brandy. Two for Dave. one for Josh, one for Sarah. From June 25th, 2004, Sex and the City. TBS is airing a toned-down version of the comedy, and I'm going to warn everyone, this is another Buffy situation where there was some parallel thought. Number one, it's pretty much the same, except that they don't swear, don't have sex, and wear burkas. Number two, after cutting on most of Samantha's scenes, each episode's only nine minutes long. number three are you a carol or a mike it's going to be called smooches in the suburbs number five in this one all of carrie's shoes are keds number six they just cut out samantha number seven it's going to be called kissing in the suburbs brandy. Brandi: [1:19:43] All right he doesn't know what any of these women are named so i'm no doubt 100 with you on that samantha is something deep like ballin's like i don't know like he he definitely doesn't know uh kids he doesn't even i mean well he has a kid who would possibly be wearing kids we theorize, yes but then that would require him knowing carrie and i just i don't know um hmm uh so i'm eliminating all the ones with names in it it's like the smooching the kissing and the burkas i'm gonna go with the burkas it feels like he had to have something referencing that time is. Dave: [1:20:22] The burkas a reference to don't they go to they go to the middle east in the movie is this reference to the movie or is this just is that second movie. Sarah: [1:20:29] And i don't think it was out by. Dave: [1:20:30] Okay so this is before they went to the middle east in the movies okay in the second movie yes This is many. Brandi: [1:20:35] Years before that. Dave: [1:20:36] Okay. Brandi: [1:20:36] He was actually a co-writer on that movie. Dave: [1:20:40] But here's what I'm thinking, and I'm going to apologize profusely in advance if I'm throwing somebody under the bus, but I don't think any one of us are going to put Burkas in an answer because you just don't want to touch that. But he would and definitely would in 2004. So my answer is Burkas. I'm playing the metagame here. It doesn't really have much to do with Mullen. It has everything to do with outside of Mullen's answer here. Tara: [1:21:02] Okay. Sarah. Sarah: [1:21:04] I'd just like to acknowledge that are you a Carol or a Mike, while much too knowledgeable for Mullen is very funny. Well done. I don't think he knows what Keds are. There's a limit to what a guy like this really understands and observes about his girl child. Dave: [1:21:21] But do you think he knows Keds from the serial, the mass suicides? Josh: [1:21:27] I thought those were Nikes. Brandi: [1:21:29] Those were Nikes. Those were in Black Nikes. Tara: [1:21:31] No, they were Nikes. Sorry, Keds. Sarah: [1:21:33] Also a slave raid. AMA. Josh: [1:21:35] Keds, not the sneaker of mass suicides. Dave: [1:21:39] That might have been a Mr. Show skit now that I think of it. Sarah: [1:21:42] Oh, God. Dave: [1:21:43] Okay, sorry, Sarah. Sarah: [1:21:44] I feel like two Samanthas means you can probably eliminate them both, but I mean, that's not always true. he doesn't know enough also to say anything about carrie's shoes but mostly my answer is burkas because i'm with dave this is absolutely something that at the time we would have read it and been like like we would literally have picked up a phone and called entertainment weekly to be like so who fucking fell asleep on the hook with this kid like no this is not appropriate and it was just proof that he didn't have a copy editor so i'm going burkas i. Dave: [1:22:19] Have an update on why i thought I thought it was Keds. Tara: [1:22:21] Oh. Dave: [1:22:22] Saturday Night Live did a parody of this whole thing where the cult members were mated to space. It was followed by a commercial parody for Keds featuring the tagline worn by level-headed Christians. I think that's where my brain was going. Tara: [1:22:36] Okay. Josh. Josh: [1:22:38] God, I love Carol or Mike. It's so funny. Sarah: [1:22:42] It's so funny. Josh: [1:22:44] If it's him, it's even better than everyone who tried it has died. i can't believe that was him i agree he has no not only forget keds he like like sarah was saying he doesn't know that carrie wears expensive shoes they just cut out samantha is again the best version of the joke he would write that it's very straightforward it's clean it works which means tara wrote it i think kitchen in the suburbs mooching in the suburbs same i guess I'm going to go Berkis just because we're in a roll. Tara: [1:23:20] All right. Chill. Jill: [1:23:21] I'm between burkas and smooches just because I really like, yeah, of them. I'm generally in life. Dave: [1:23:28] That's also a name of a novel. Yeah. Jill: [1:23:31] Yes. Also, I didn't know about whatever mass suicide you're all talking about. And I'm kind of pleased with myself. Josh: [1:23:38] Heaven's Gate, right? Brandi: [1:23:40] Yeah. Oh, yeah. Jill: [1:23:42] I'll do a little Googling afterwards. Josh: [1:23:45] That was the Hale-Bopp comment, right? Or am I thinking? Yeah. Sarah: [1:23:48] Yeah. Jill: [1:23:49] That didn't mean anything to me. I don't know. Look, anyway, I'm between smooches and burkas. Josh: [1:23:58] And suicide is off the table. Jill: [1:24:01] I'm gonna go, with burkas. Dave: [1:24:05] So it's a burka sweep. Tara: [1:24:07] Right? Dave: [1:24:08] Everybody did burkas? Sarah: [1:24:09] Yeah. Tara: [1:24:10] You're all correct. Dave: [1:24:11] Yeah. I think this was the easiest one to pick. Tara: [1:24:16] Nine minutes long was Sarah. Carol or a mic was Dave. Mooch's was Josh. Ked's was Jill. Cutout Samantha was me. Kissing in the suburbs was Brandy. So good job, everybody. Before our final question, I have our scores. Jill and Josh are tied with eight points each. Josh: [1:24:39] Hell yeah. Tara: [1:24:40] Brandy has 17. Sarah has 26. Josh: [1:24:47] Dave has 27. Dave: [1:24:51] Oh, wow. Brandi: [1:24:53] That went to you, yeah. Tara: [1:24:56] Here we go. Dave: [1:24:57] All right. Josh: [1:24:58] It is going to be tough for me to mount this comeback. Tara: [1:25:00] But I think I can do it. Josh: [1:25:02] Because I don't know math. Sarah: [1:25:03] I believe in you. Tara: [1:25:05] From September 30th, 1994, Frasier versus Home Improvement. Two things worth watching at the same time? Josh: [1:25:15] Love the setup. Tara: [1:25:16] And here are your punchlines. number one if you picture and picture it you can fix your marriage and that bulky garage door number two if only this were common number three oh wait i think we just invented car talk number four but my vcr is still blinking 12 o'clock, Number five, if only either show were about fixing the problem of watching two shows at the same time. Number six, after one episode of each, you'll be ready to renovate your entire psyche. Number seven, quick, find a kid to show you how to program your VCR. Sarah: [1:25:57] Dave, you're up. Dave: [1:25:59] Ending where we started with me going first. Tara: [1:26:01] Yep. Dave: [1:26:02] Another toughie. I don't think picture in picture was that common back then. Well, maybe. Maybe he had a TV that had it dedicated. I don't know. I'm not a sports person, so maybe I'm wrong on that. I don't know what Card Talk is. It's a telecise. It's the name of a show or something. Josh: [1:26:15] Ooh. It was an NPR call-in show. Dave: [1:26:18] See how quick he answered? Tara: [1:26:20] That's his answer. Dave: [1:26:23] VCR. Josh: [1:26:23] That's my deep NPR nod. Dave: [1:26:25] VCR is a very lazy joke, which means it's in the running. So is Common. Either show or about fixing the problem of watching TV. That's good. and then showing your kids. So you've got two VCR ones. That could be Tara throwing in an extra VCR answer because the true one, which only she would know, was a VCR one. That feels like the kind of shit Tara would try to pull. Josh: [1:26:48] One VCR always lies. One VCR only tells the truth. Dave: [1:26:52] All right. I'm going to go with if only this were common. Well, it's either that or it's one of the VCR ones, I think. But there's two VCR ones and I don't trust Tara. that much. So I'm going to go with common. Tara: [1:27:06] Sarah. Sarah: [1:27:08] If only this were common, I think Dave is on to something because I think the thing that you often have to remember about Mullen, besides the fact that he's C- at writing jokes, is that he hates pop culture. He hates pop culture and he sucks at making jokes about pop culture, which is why we're in this fine pickle. I don't think it's car talk. Dave makes a good point about the vcr ones but i think he also probably hates kids including the theoretical one that we made up in his profile so i'm not sure he would say find a kid to show you how to program your vcr without adding that you should also push it into a ravine i'm not sure he knows the word psyche the problem of watching two shows at the same time seems like it's the same as the vcr but it's also clumsily enough written to be mullen i said but like if only this were common is like it's short but it's not that well written you actually have to take a second and be like wait what the fuck is he talking about so i think that's him because nonsensical also a hallmark so i'm gonna go with if only this were common yeah. Dave: [1:28:16] It's first thought mullen which is. Sarah: [1:28:19] A category of punchlines yeah that one bites. Josh: [1:28:22] That's so bad um okay i think the one that i'm i'm on the fence whether it's mullen or tara the clever imposter is quick comma find a kid to show you how to program your vcr i think that that is again the thing he's talking about is there are two good shows on at the same time we know he's not funny so it's probably not the first one marriage and bulky garage door, or they either show as about fixing the problem of watching two shows at the same time. Too silly. I think I'm going with kid to show you how to program your VCR. Final answer. Tara: [1:29:03] Okay. Jill: [1:29:05] I am transfixed by the word bulky, but I feel like that's a red herring. So I am between, I don't think he would, it's like one step past VCR to have also have a VCR and have had the power go out. That feels like too many steps. So I'm between two shows at the same time or quick, find a kid. Now that I've said it out loud, it just sounds like him. Brandi: [1:29:37] I'm actually going to go with picture and picture it because I think that if he said it's a good show, he called them good. He was nice. But I mean, those are probably the two shows he watches. So he probably knows enough about these shows to actually make a specific reference about fixing your marriage and the garage door. He probably does not actually know how to use picture and picture. and that's where the technology is. He probably has a guy from work program as VCR. So I'm going to say picture in picture. He doesn't know how it works, but he does know enough about the two TV shows to make that reference. And Car Talk, I do know about Car Talk. I think that's too smart. He's not going to make that connection like that. Tara: [1:30:19] The mullin has been guessed. Picture in picture it is Ms. Sarah D. Bunting. Brandi: [1:30:24] Oh, damn it. Josh: [1:30:25] Good joke. Tara: [1:30:26] If only this were common. Sarah: [1:30:28] Too good. Tara: [1:30:29] Was mullin. Josh: [1:30:31] Wow this hold on i have i'm sorry to keep sidetracking the show but this is so bleak because this guy wrote this for a magazine about television for 20 entertainment for 20 years and what year was this this 94 that. Brandi: [1:30:50] Wasn't the hey damn tv being good we would all go back to then if we had quality TV life. Sarah: [1:30:55] Yeah. Josh: [1:30:55] And his critical ethos is most things are bad except home improvement. Prison for this man. Brandi: [1:31:08] Who hurt you, man? Tara: [1:31:12] Car talk was Jill. Still blinking was Dave. Watching two shows was Brandy. Renovate your psyche was Josh. Josh, program your VCR, was me. I have bad news after all the time I took to check the score, which is I had a four mark, hash mark, before starting the next one. And long story short, I overcounted Dave. Dave had 25 after the last question. Josh: [1:31:41] Whoa. Tara: [1:31:41] So our final scores are as follows. Jill with eight. Josh with eight. Brandy with 12. Dave with 27. Sarah D. Bunting is our winner today 29 Whoa. Sarah: [1:31:56] And also loser. Tara: [1:31:58] Woo. Brandi: [1:32:02] Wait, so I lost five points or something? I mean, I'm fine with that, but actually. Tara: [1:32:07] I'm sorry, what did I say? 12? No, you had 17. Josh: [1:32:09] That last one is such a bummer. I'm going to be walking around just thinking about this joke until my deathbed. Sarah: [1:32:15] This is why the game exists, though, is that you just would stare at it and be like, is this even real? The amount of time that we have spent thinking about Mullen's columns is exponentially more than he ever spent on it. Tara: [1:32:28] Not even close, truly. Sarah: [1:32:30] No. Dave: [1:32:32] All right, guys, that is it for an XL-sized extra hot great. We tapped into the deep, dark recesses of our Mullen brains to get into the head of one Jim Mullen, fool our fellow players, and win the day. But at the end of it, was there really a winner or just six empty husks of human beings who stare too long into the abyss? Dave: [1:32:58] I am David T. Cole, And on behalf of Tara Ariano. Tara: [1:33:02] Tax fraud. Dave: [1:33:04] Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah: [1:33:05] Quick, find a kid to stab me in the eye. Dave: [1:33:09] Brandi Brown. Brandi: [1:33:10] You know what happened when someone turned off this podcast? They died. Dave: [1:33:14] Chill twist. Jill: [1:33:15] A hug for my 23rd car. Dave: [1:33:17] And Josh Gondelman. Josh: [1:33:19] The Melentalist coming 18 years ago to TBS. Dave: [1:33:24] Thanks for listening, everyone. And we'll see you next time right here on Extra Hot Great.