Beer, Soda, And Better Days For The New York Mets

Dave 00:12 This is the Extra Extra Hot Great Podcast, episode 422 for the August 1st, 2026 weekend. I am Ponderosa All-You Can Eat Policy Stress Tester David T. Cole, and I'm here with Memorable Visual Device, Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah 00:33 Thank you for your continued support. Dave 00:35 And nice and easy, Tara Ariano. Tara 00:38 What did you call me? Twice in the same week. Dave 00:48 Wow. One quick note for all you dear supporters. Thank you so much. Listener Game Time sign-up sheet, as promised on the main show, is in your show notes for this episode. So get to it. Sign up. Put your hat in the ring for future listener game times, which are being figured out right now and should debut soon-ish. Tara 01:10 Wee! Thank you, Dave. Dave 01:12 You're a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little Tara 01:13 Hello listeners. Welcome to another Extra Extra Hot Great. We're still So delighted to have you here to hear us talk about a whole bunch of commercials from July 1986 aired during a presentation of Jaws. on the ABC Sunday Night Movie on WTVN. At the time it was Columbus, Ohio's ABC affiliate, Local Channel 6. I must say this in case Dan Rogee is listening. It was an affiliate of the Dumont Network and then ABC after that. The ABC affiliate in Columbus is now W S Y X, ooh, sexy, and WTVN is an AM radio station, news station owned by iHeart. Alright, now you have the facts. Let's get into our commercials. Clip 02:13 The night has a beat of its own, a theme of its own. A beer of its own. Exceptionally smooth Michelob. It could make tonight the best part of your day. Sarah 02:36 I thought this was going in a the night belongs to Michelob direction. Maybe this set of ads was the preamble to that. This campaign was twinned with another one from 1986 featuring Genesis and Tonight, Tonight. Tara 02:54 Sure. Dave 02:54 No, I'm wrong. Tonight, tonight, tonight. Three tonight's Guess what that song's about? Sarah 02:58 I I Dave 03:00 Guess what tonight tonight tonight is actually about? Tara 03:03 Uh, apartheid Dave 03:04 It's about an an addict trying to get a hold of their dealer for another fix. Tara 03:07 Oh my God, wow. Sarah 03:09 Oh yeah, sure Dave 03:10 Good job, Michelob. Nightbeer. Sarah 03:14 Sounds like a euphemism. I am surprised that that occurred. Actually, I thought Genesis was too big for that to be allowed, and we find out that uh certain acts are considered too big for that to be allowed later in this compilation, but uh yeah, I thought we should lead off with that just for the genesis of it all. Tara 03:29 Hmm. There's a woman in this ad, possible Janine Turner question Mark. So if anyone is actually gonna watch this compilation. Keep an eye out 'cause I think it possibly could be her. Every time Sarah 03:50 Yeah, you can't. Dave 03:50 They're already sick of it. It's only been three times. Tell you what, from now on I'll just play a random clip from my clipboard. Tara 03:56 Okay, great. Sarah 03:57 Oh God. Okay. Clip 03:58 I like fresh food. That's why I protect my leftovers in Ziploc storage bags. If the food's not fresh, I won't eat it Really? Alright, I'll eat it, but I won't like it. Ziploc, we've got the lock on food protection. Tara 04:13 Ha ha, Dom Deluise is fat, so he even loves food that's spoiled. is the joke of that commercial with I don't know who that child is, but she's also nagging him and I don't approve. Sarah 04:19 Yeah. Dave 04:24 I didn't laugh at the commercial, but I laughed at you t explaining the commercial to me. Sarah 04:25 Yeah. Dave 04:28 And not in a good way. Sarah 04:29 Yeah. Tara 04:30 Well, you know. Sarah 04:31 I smiled fondly at the Ziploc font of this era, which is gorge. Tara 04:33 Mm mm. Dave 04:35 Who is the guy that was sort of around thank you Tara 04:38 Paul Prudhomme. Dave 04:42 That was basically this guy, but not an actor. Tara 04:45 Yep, mm-hmm. Dave 04:45 Okay, great. Thank you, Paul Prudhomme. Yeah, Oh, I wasn't oh Fuck off. Tara 04:54 Okay, don't do this if it's gonna take longer. Clip 05:04 Fantastic. Only a cleaner this strong can make cleaning this easy. It's so easy. Dave 05:14 Man, this commercial has moods. You got that terminator to soundtrack, you got these science product shots, including getting misted straight at the camera. Tara 05:22 Mm-hmm. Dave 05:23 the woman who might be a Stepford wived robot killer or not sure and then the goofy jingle at the end to send us on her merry way. Tara 05:30 Again, not a jingle, that's a real song. It's from L Linda Ronstadt. It's so easy to fall in love. Another artist that you would think is too big to Sarah 05:39 Mm-hmm. Tara 05:39 give their their song to a commercial, but apparently not. Sarah 05:41 I'm sure they were like, it's three words, you can't sue us. Also, what are they doing in that in that model home? Tara 05:49 Mm, mm-hmm. Sarah 05:49 That is the chunkiest mud handprint I've ever seen. Dave 05:52 It is Sarah 05:53 You do not need a strong cleaner to clean that up. You just need to wipe it off. It's like paper mache. Dave 06:00 I also like to believe whatever that was, the fridge was a mini fridge and those were children's handprints. Sarah 06:07 Sure Tara 06:07 Mm-hmm. Before we get to It's So Easy, which Sarah, I believe in other ads in this campaign we do hear more of the song, so it's definitely that. It's not a ripoff, but The score, I love, makes it sound like a product that you would find in Tron. Sarah 06:21 Mm-hmm. Tara 06:21 It's so it's so future-y for really no good reason. Dave 06:23 Yeah. Yeah, I thought it was Terminatory. Sarah 06:25 Yeah Tara 06:26 Mm. Dave 06:26 Mm-hmm. Clip 06:27 Meth gives you joy, only gods can experience, but don't do it Uh, what's that? Oatmeal, it's good for you. Well, Ma, if you don't mind, I'd rather have my rice krispies. Oh? They didn't teach you about vitamins in medical school? Uh You are absent when they talked about nourishing foods like good old-fashioned oatmeal. Mother, Kellogg's Rice Krispies is higher in iron and eight very nourishing vitamins than your oatmeal. Well, Mr. Doctor, is that a fact? Yes But if you prefer a second opinion, Tara 07:03 So the backstory of this commercial I decided is this is a nice closeted gay doctor living at home for appearance's sake before he can find A nice gay nurse to marry him and be his beard, because it's nineteen eighty-six. Dave 07:16 Also possible that he murders his mother very soon after the end of this commercial after he magically invokes the three gremlins from the stereo box. Tara 07:21 Yes. True. Sarah 07:26 The uh mom in this commercial is probably younger than we are now. Dave 07:30 Yeah. Tara 07:31 Yeah, that was rough. Sarah 07:31 Just pointing that out, different styles, different eras. Tara 07:33 Mm-hmm. Sarah 07:35 Also, this was the sugaryest cereal that uh the late Great Barb would permit. Tara 07:41 It's not sugary at all. Sarah 07:42 Usually it was like m Mossley Gravelos like oh my god Tara 07:45 Ugh. Oh my God. Dave 07:46 Yeah. Open your mouth, Sarah. Ah, look at those pearly whites. No cavities there. Sarah 07:54 Oh God. Yeah, no no teeth because gravelose Yeah, it was so boring. Continues to blow my mind that a cereal this non-registering as having even any taste. can create one of the most delightful snack treats there is. Dave 08:13 Rice Krispies are Good. I like them as a serial. I'm fine with it. They are a delivery mechanism for accoutrement, so if you're if you live in the the dour brutalist bunting home of her childhood, then no. Sarah 08:21 mhm Dave 08:29 But when you get some Brown sugar or whatever, some fresh fruit that your mom cuts up because you can't be bothered, then it can't be delicious. Tara 08:34 Mm-hmm. Yeah. Dave 08:37 And yes, rice crispy treats are one of our best achievements as humans. Sarah 08:41 Yes, agree. Clip 08:52 Commitment. Experience. It all comes together when you work with the best. Master mechanic tools. Only from True Value Hardware Stores. At the Indianapolis Speedway or in your own garage, they're backed by True Value Hardware Store. stores commitment, experience, and exclusive customer satisfaction policy. Master Mechanic 2. Exclusively from True Value Hardware Stores and Homestead. Sarah 09:21 And from the Marines. Dave 09:22 Yeah. Seriously. Sarah 09:23 This music is too much. Tara 09:25 It uh just a bit Dave 09:26 It's very much too much, but this was my second favorite moment of the whole compilation, and I almost missed it. And I'm not quite sure exactly, exactly why. The word browning on the side of one of the race cars in like script. And there's something funny about the word browning on the side of a race car that made me laugh out loud. And I've rewatched it three times and it never became less funny So browning on the side of a race car if you're looking for Christmas ideas. Sarah 09:53 Yeah, there's a compartment where you put a twice baked potato and it browns and then you take it out after a couple laps. Dave 09:59 Yep. Sarah 10:01 Mm-hmm. Clip 10:06 I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. Orion Pictures presents Jean Wilder. Oli Bologna, here we go again. Gilda Radner. And Dom de Luise in his most demanding role. One of you is a werewolf. You'd think this would frighten me. Onto honeymoon. Rated PG.starts Friday, July 25th at a theater near you. Check your newspaper for Times. Sarah 10:35 Uh no thanks. I won't be doing that. I mostly marked this one to discuss because I disappeared down a rabbit hole on Gilda Radner's Wikipedia page Here is a part of a sentence. Dave 10:51 Yeah Sarah 10:51 Had an on-again, off-again relationship with Martin Short while both were appearing in Godspell. Tara 10:57 Oh yeah. Sarah 10:58 I mean, that just contains every multitude, and uh I'd much rather watch that production than even a frame of Haunted Honeymoon. Dave 11:08 It's haunted honeymoon. Tara 11:12 That's the famous production that also starred Victor Garber as Jesus, I believe. Sarah 11:16 Ah mm, yeah. Tara 11:16 Hmm. Dave 11:16 Like the Jesus? Tara 11:18 Yes. Dave 11:18 H. Christ? Tara 11:19 Yes. Dave 11:19 Nice. Good for him. Tara 11:21 Mm-hmm. Dave 11:22 This film also stars Jonathan Price, so knowing it was from 1986, I'm like, oh, I'd like to see a baby Jonathan Price. Blam, he was born forty-two. He just never got younger than that. Sarah 11:32 Te hundred percent was born forty-two. Tara 11:34 Yep. Dave 11:34 Yeah. Tara 11:35 Also, why is Haunted Honeymoon coming out July twenty-fifth and not, for example, in October? Dave 11:41 Uh, because people get married in the summer. Tara 11:41 Just wondering. Oh, all right. Dave 11:44 Stupid Tara 11:45 Well then it should have been in June. Clip 11:47 Someone is biting our daughter! When these crispy nuggets, they're new and healish yeah. So bring your good friends and your family too Wendy's got Christmas chicken nuggets for you Come on out is we're Let's all celebrate and Hell Come celebrate new crispy chicken nuggets at Wendy's. Dave 12:18 Alright, Wendy's finally get into the crispy chicken nugget game. Finally. after letting McDonald's just run away with it with their McNuggets. Tara 12:27 Yep Dave 12:27 So even if I don't explain the visuals to you, you already have a very good idea what this is. This is your prototypical 80s movie montage of people having a good time doing lifestyles. Tara 12:41 Mm-hmm Dave 12:42 And in case you're wondering, and the reason why I wanted to flag this Because it is an 80s lifestyle commercial, yes, it does feature Venice Beach roller skating, as is required by law. Sarah 12:53 Mm-hmm. Tara 12:54 Yes, there's also a little boy breakdancing Dave 12:55 Phew. Okay. Tara 12:58 on a ferry, I believe. I had to look up whether this product still exists at Wendy's because it I rarely go to Wendy's on purpose and if I do, I'm getting a frosty and leaving. Dave 13:09 Yeah. Tara 13:10 But Dave 13:10 Do you like stumble up across a Wendy's by mistake a lot? You're getting out of the desert, you're crawling, looking for water, there's a door, you open it, you don't know where you are, and suddenly you're in a Wendy's. Tara 13:13 Yes. Yeah, basically. Dave 13:19 And you're like, remember those pita sandwiches you had back in the 90s? You still got those? And you're like, no. Tara 13:24 Oh my god, they were so good. They don't have those, but they do have crispy chicken nuggets, except now I'm regret to tell everyone, I assume for the first time, they are known as Wendy's Nuggs. Dave 13:35 Yeah. Tara 13:36 I don't like that. Sarah 13:36 Yeah, the current advertising for those is uh repellent. Dave 13:41 Hits me right in the field, Nuggs. Tara 13:41 Oh, Sarah 13:43 Is Is this cool in the gang replicating their nuggety hit? Tara 13:51 Oh, I'm sure it's a sound alike. Sarah 13:52 Then I would like an oral history of this recording session. Tara 13:56 Mm-hmm. Sarah 13:56 Thank you. Tara 13:57 Yeah. I would love to think it was the same guys that do the Chili's baby back ribs, but it probably isn't. Sarah 14:03 No Clip 14:03 If you ever bully or hurt anybody again, I'll come back and butt Fuck your father with your mom's headless corpse on this goddamn lawn. Tara 14:10 Oh God Dave 14:11 You guys didn't want the music. Clip 14:13 You know kids, we like to try expensive bad things. But before mom went back to work, money was tight. That's when we discovered swab. Then mom started making extra bucks. We tried those expensive shampoos and conditioners because they weren't any better. It just costs more. So now we're back to Suave. Mom's smart enough to know we don't have to spend a fortune on our hair. Suave just makes us look like we do. Now hold your beautiful style longer with new suave hairspray and look like you spent a fortune on your hair. Tara 14:43 This is one of a few ads in this uh compilation that is very mid-80s, like women having it all. Like before mom went back to work, money was tight now we're rolling in it but no one is here to look after us and I have to set the table like this is the backstory however The daughter who's narrating the commercial and her, I'm gonna guess, esprit look because she looks like Jeannie Bueller from head to toe. Sarah 15:07 Oh my God, aspirational, it's amazing Tara 15:11 So aspirational. She looks so cool. She looks like she could step from this commercial onto the cover of like a YA novel of the era in a in a Sarah 15:21 Yes Tara 15:22 Long, long, long series. She's very cool. Way cooler than Suave. Although, do I still buy Suave for conditioner? Because it really doesn't matter what you put on your hair conditioner-wise. Don't tell me otherwise. I know it's true. Yes, I sometimes buy Suave conditioner. Dave 15:36 Mom started making extra bucks when she should have said Mom started making extra dough because we gotta bring back dough as a word for money. Tara 15:45 Mm-hmm. Dave 15:45 We discussed this on a recent listen to Sassy and it's true. Tara 15:48 That's true, we did. Dave 15:48 Referring to money as dough is real fun. Tara 15:50 Yep. Clip 15:51 Oh, that's my friend. Can other long distance companies offer you all ATT can? Take a closer look. Wrong number? I'll credit you for that call. We'll set up an ATT.numbers, so you can dial roam directly. You can save by placing. Imagine long distance without all this. Only ATT has such an extensive network of professionals who can answer questions and suggest ways you can save money. ATT long distance. For over a hundred years, when you reached out, we were there. And you can keep it that way. ATT, the right choice. Tara 16:26 That is, of course, longtime spokesperson Cliff Robertson in the ATT commercial, classic movie star. I believe he was Uncle whoever in the uh in the Toby McGuire Spider-Man movies. Uncle what's his name? Uncle Who Dave 16:42 Uncle Ben. Tara 16:43 Thank you. Yes, it is Ben because Adam Scott played Ben in Madam Webb. Spoiler. Uh anyway, I flagged this not just for Cliff Robertson, but because you see briefly see as one of the faces behind Cliff Robertson, Christine Sutherland, aka Future Joy Summers from Buffy. Dave 17:00 Ah, that's where I knew it from. Sarah 17:01 Nah, yeah Tara 17:01 And we l y you sure did. Dave 17:01 I knew I knew the face, couldn't place it. Sarah 17:05 Yeah, this was on the eve of uh I guess the breakup of the baby bells. Tara 17:10 Yes Sarah 17:11 So they were all trying to position themselves. I mean I think the um Equity breakup took place in 1987. Tara 17:19 Hmm. Sarah 17:19 Don't ask me how I know that. Tara 17:21 Well, yeah. S Sprint was already a going concern because they were one of the few non-car ads in the other compilations, so Sprint was around, so I guess Sarah 17:29 Mm-hmm, yeah, mm-hmm Tara 17:30 This was when they had to start differentiating themselves. Anyway. Clip 17:35 Sweet heavenly father! Welcome to Hillshire Farm where great taste is always at home. So you wanna speed up the way we make our Hillshire Farm smoke sauces. Oh yes, but high-speed equipment. But young man, you can't rush great taste. We hand select lean cuts of pork and beef and smoke them slowly, gently. Well, the taste of other sauces just can't beat. He's right. Try it yourself. Delicious. I wouldn't change a thing. Use your form. For our best taste every time. Dave 18:09 Another one indoctrinated into the cult that is Hillsar Farms. It's not just a farm, it's a barn where you live now Tara 18:16 See, I thought this was more a sign of the times like, ooh, I hate those B school yuppies trying to optimize my sausage. How dare they! Dave 18:25 Yeah. Sarah 18:26 This has bugged me for forty years, this ad, he doesn't even bite into it. He like inserts his teeth, removes them, has no time to taste it before delivering his line, and obviously has nothing in his mouth. Dave 18:39 Yeah. Enraging Clip 18:40 Hope you find the garbage you're looking for! Have I lost my cool? Alright, well the girl's hanging out with Larry. Don't I also have the tan, the whistle, and the cooler to seven up? Well Larry's got a cooler of Sprite. So so girls know Sprite tastes better than seven up. It even beat him in a taste test. Sprite, huh? Sure. Only Sprite has a great taste of lime. You know? Got something there. I only wish we had more of it here. Dave 19:12 Two guys on the beach wondering why they're not getting any the reason to seven up. But The part I like is girls know girls inherently know guys who drink sprite are more fuckable than guys that drink seven up. Sarah 19:21 What Tara 19:27 Yeah. Dave 19:27 Seven up makes your dick fall off Sarah 19:31 I mean, this was the least of his problems, but overruled DB Cooper preferred seven up, and who was cooler than that guy? Tara 19:37 Oh. Dave 19:39 Let me demonstrate. Oh no, my dick. Tara 19:46 My note on this was, Dave, please make this beach patrol t-shirt for through methods. Dave 19:50 Seriously. Sarah 19:50 Mm-hmm. Tara 19:51 No, seriously. Dave 19:52 No, seriously. Sarah 19:52 No, seriously, woodware. Dave 19:53 Okay, great. Tara 19:54 Great. Clip 19:55 Oh my god, I need that! New Citrus 7 puts real fruit in your fizz for real fruit fizz ass. Citrus 7 puts real fruit in your fizz! No other fist has real fruit like this fish possess Citrus 7 from 7 up real fruit taste no popcorn Citrus 7 has real fruit possessed Only Citrus 7 is made with real tangerine or Lemon and lime for real food pizzazz in diet too. Tara 20:26 Oh my god, I need that is a perfect prelude to that commercial because oh my god, I need Citrus 7. This sounds like Carbonated 5 Alive and Dave 20:33 I was about to say add grapefruit and it is carbonated five alive, which uh uh yes Sarah 20:35 Oh, yes. Tara 20:38 I mm-hmm. Yeah. Who could get mad at that? Sarah 20:42 I don't remember this product at all. I don't remember this ad at all. And then I heard the word tangerine and I was like, fine. Clip 20:51 Today's Apple Sauce Day! Apple Sauce Day dog! When it comes to dinner, come to big dog It's the place to start relaxing from your day It's the place where you remember you're a family. Everyone gets dinner their own way. Nobody takes care of you like big boy. Chicken and chicken Italian dinners just $3. 95. Dave 21:24 So I guess the hook here is that Big Boy has some sort of limited buffet that you can enjoy instead of just getting a burger or whatever. Tara 21:33 Sure. Dave 21:33 And that's all fine and I don't quite understand what big boy is. I've never been to one. It's always just lived in pop culture for me. But I tell ya, MVP of this whole situation today. is the lady right at the end of the commercial. We're calling her Aunt Mary. Tara 21:48 Mm-hmm. Dave 21:48 Aunt Mary's never been married. Tara 21:49 No. Dave 21:50 Probably still a virgin here in her forty-seventh year. Tara 21:51 Well or she lives with her friend, Tanya. Dave 21:55 Yeah, sure. And she is just really happy to be here at Big Boy as she's loading up her plate And we don't get any dialogue in universe here. It's just scenes and with the music over over top of it. But she seems to be singing to herself as she's putting things on her plate. And I just like that for her, that she's really in her her joyous place. Tara 22:19 Mm-hmm. Dave 22:19 She's really in her element, and she's finally just having some fun. Tara 22:23 Yeah. Also, big boy is the place you remember you're a family now that mom's gone back to work. Sarah 22:28 Mm-hmm Dave 22:29 Also, that song kind of goes hard for a big boy. Tara 22:30 Yeah, it does. I agree. Dave 22:32 Yeah. Tara 22:33 Mm-hmm. Clip 22:40 I love our modern advances. Remember those antiperspirants we used to use that went on wet, sticky, then came real. The advanced antiperspirant system. The top is soft. The antiperspirant is smooth, yet totally dry. Not a drop of water. You smooth it on. The perfect solution. The real solution. It feels out of this world. The future is real. The advanced antiperspirant system you smooth on. Real antiperspirant. Bye, man. Tara 23:07 Oh, the girly by men in, because it's for ladies. Sarah 23:09 Mm-hmm. By women in, I think you mean Tara 23:13 Yes, this mom went back to work in space. I tell ya, I know what product they're using to clean their space station. It's fantastic from earlier in this composite Dave 23:22 It sure is Tara 23:23 comp compilation. The tech of this okay, so the top of the of the I guess you know, the stick. Dave 23:30 Applicator, yeah. Tara 23:31 Yeah. It's like a a half dome. And then you twist up and you get a tiny amount of sort of liquidy uh I guess okay yeah it's like a There you go. Dave 23:39 Well, they say it's dry. Sarah 23:41 Yeah, like astronaut ice cream, but for your pits. Tara 23:45 It's a thick a thick cream, let's say Dave 23:46 You know that stuff you don't like after your real deodorant wears off and it's just that dry shit in your armpits? Tara 23:51 Mm-hmm. Dave 23:52 That's you get this from the get-go in this product. Tara 23:54 Yeah, this they tried this again in the 2000s because I remember like when Secret had a similar product where it had like three little wavy holes at the tops. Sarah 24:01 Mm-hmm. Yes. Tara 24:04 Sarah remembers. Sarah 24:04 Ugh Tara 24:05 I have to think they stopped doing this both times because it's gotta be so much plastic to produce that applicator. Sarah 24:11 Mm-hmm. Dave 24:11 Yeah. Tara 24:12 Anyway, space. Dave 24:14 Spa Can you smell things in space? Like if they go on the little spacewalk Tara 24:18 Mm, mm-hmm, yeah. Dave 24:18 First of all, she's in a really big suit. They're in spacewalk suits. You know, it's gonna take a powerful stink to get through that suit. But if it was just normal, I just feel like you you could just deal with it when you get back. Tara 24:28 Yeah, probably. Dave 24:29 Probably. Clip 24:35 Who's gonna be at the silver bullet tonight? Give me the news, I can take it. One Lou. You won. You won? Hey, they won! For the team! The bullet's first win. Everything. Tell me everything. There's no contest. No contest. Contest, I love it. Well, what was the score? Wasn't even close. Whoa, Brandy, a blowout! Oh, you guys are great. Score. Come on, come on. No contest, Luke. The other team never showed up. There's no slowing down with the silver bulletin tonight, hey. Coarse light beer. Tara 25:05 This ad stars both James Avery, Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Christopher McDonald from Happy Gilmore. And this is two years after Breaking Two Electric Boogaloo, where he is the bad guy, if I recall correctly. Sarah 25:20 Mm-hmm. Tara 25:20 Which tells you, first of all, how little money he made for that or how much you can make for a national ad like this. But it also made me think I should add him to my list of people to research. commercials they've done because if he did this, I bet he did a bunch in his a in his day. Sarah 25:35 Mm-hmm. Clip 25:36 The stars at night are big and breath being above. How can you get more than you expect for the price? How can you get more mileage than you expect from a gun on a gas? How can you get more standard features? More style. More room. New Chevrolet Nova. At $76. 51, it's more car than you'd expect for the price. And now get 5. 9 annual percentage rate GMAC financing. Link to Finance Contract is Limited. The new NOVA from today's Chevrolet. Sarah 26:14 I was just struck by in this and the a couple of the other car ads that we saw in this one that they make a point to show the manual transmission. They don't bother showing the transmission at all anymore. I'm old enough to remember that when you went to buy a car, like the I don't know, my first real car was a Honda Accord. The DX was stick shift. The LX was just like regular and then the EX I think had a sunroof. Tara 26:42 Hmm Sarah 26:42 And then above that it basically was an Acura after that, and you might as well buy that. But like that was standard operating procedure, that the manual shift was the least expensive and the the real heads always preferred the drive feel or whatever the Fuck. Now it's all computerized. They don't really show anything except the gigantic like iPad size navigation screen in whatever car they're advertising, but Tara 27:07 Yeah Sarah 27:08 It was just striking to me that they made a point of that. And also like high four figures for a car or a truck. Tara 27:15 Mm-hmm, yeah, yep Sarah 27:16 What a time to be alive. Dave 27:19 Cole family in the 70s had a Chevy Nova. It was a sort of lighter avocado green color. Sarah 27:26 Mm-hmm. Dave 27:27 And I remember it well because it was such a terrible car. And we all know the thing about Nova and the marketing and all that stuff. Sarah 27:34 Nova, yep, doesn't go. Dave 27:35 But also a terrible car as well. The floor rusted through to the point where there were little holes you can see. It was like, yeah. Tara 27:40 No Dave 27:42 Like if you wanted to Fred floodstone it, it wouldn't be that much of an issue to stick your feet through the through the wall. Tara 27:45 Oh my God Sarah 27:47 My uncle's citation, same. Dave 27:49 Yeah. Sarah 27:50 Not a good era for Chevrolet. Dave 27:52 And I had a lot of driving anxieties when I was a kid. Whenever we would drive, because we lived in between Great Lakes and there's a canal system that goes between them. Whenever we drove by the canal, I was convinced the car was going to end up in the canal or going over a bridge or anything like that. And Thorold, where I live, is lousy with canals and bridges. Tara 28:13 Yeah. Dave 28:13 And that plus a car where you can see the road as you're in it? Sarah 28:18 Oh no. Dave 28:19 Not good. Really explaining a lot now that I think about it. Tara 28:20 No, oh poor poor little Dave Sarah 28:23 Mm-hmm. Dave 28:24 Poor Dave. Sarah 28:37 Excuse me Tara 28:43 Is that Manimal? Dave 28:43 Do you remember what that is? Tara 28:45 Manimal? Dave 28:45 No, that's that's uh Jack Palance's Dracula. Tara 28:46 What is it? Oh yes incredible Dave 28:50 Remember Sarah 28:50 Oh my God, that's right. L O L Clip 28:54 Chances are when you think the bargain bag has made it, it's still got a long way to go. Glant trash bags have three plies of stress flex plastic to stand up to life's little time. Why take chances? Get glad. Dave 29:09 All right, number one, obviously, yes, that is Tom Bosley. Tara 29:12 Of course. Dave 29:13 They weren't all happy days Tara 29:14 No, no, no. Dave 29:15 And okay, fine. Yes, I remember he sold a lot of garbage bags back in the day. Yep. And then came the visual Telling you all about stress flex technology, which is the fist inside of the bag trying to punch out, but unable to because of the elasticity, the pure Science of the glad garbage bag. It was like, oh shit, memory unlocked. Tara 29:37 Mm-hmm. Dave 29:37 And then like the other memory that it unlocked was oh shit video drum. And then It went places. So there's a direct line from Tom Bosley to David Cronenberg, and this commercial made it happen. Tara 29:48 Wow. Dave 29:49 Yeah. But the fist in the garbage bag is kind of creepy. Tara 29:50 Hmm. Yeah. Dave 29:53 There's something unsettling about it. Tara 29:54 I agree Dave 29:55 Didn't like it and also something unsettling about Tom Bosley. Clip 29:58 Inside the ocean Okay. In the heaviest, deepest, most brutal part. Alright. The Mariana Tridge. Tara 30:04 Mariana Dredge Clip 30:08 Come on, baby, try me. What sweet should try me? Just see what I can do. I know you love me too. Try me, honey. Try me. Why send mail overnight? With a Harris 3M business mail system. It takes just seconds and costs pennies to get a letter clear across the ocean. Or across the street. Drive me Tara 30:36 This is a fax machine, and they don't say the word fax machine in it at all. Sarah 30:38 Mm-hmm. No, Tara 30:40 This must have been before, like, that was the agreed upon con you know, nomenclature. Dave 30:45 But it seems to be like slightly different technology. Sarah 30:45 Yeah. Dave 30:48 Like fax machines ended up settling on thermal paper for the most part. Tara 30:52 Oh, I see. Dave 30:52 And this one isn't, this one is using sheets. Sarah 30:53 Mm-hmm Tara 30:55 Mm-hmm. Dave 30:55 So this seems to be more of a printer to printer data exchange than perhaps a true like standard fax machine. Tara 31:03 Mm-hmm. Dave 31:03 So this might be a precursor to the fax machine. Tara 31:06 Well, that wouldn't make sense why they don't call it that. Dave 31:07 Or when did fax machines come? Tara 31:10 I vaguely remember them coming in in like eighty-eight or eighty-nine. Dave 31:12 Yeah. So this could be just like a year ahead of the time. Sarah 31:13 Yeah Dave 31:15 They're almost at the spec, but not quite. But this company's like, we're gonna we're gonna get there first. Tara 31:17 Mm-hmm. Yeah. Sarah 31:20 Interesting that they went with a big band sound. It's not the only commercial that does that in this set either. Tara 31:23 Yeah, yeah Dave 31:26 And that you could use your not fax machine to try to hook up. That is the message of the ad. Tara 31:32 True. Dave 31:32 Sexy. Tara 31:33 Mm-hmm. Dave 31:34 Sexy office technology. Tara 31:36 According to Wikipedia, Hank Magnusky, founder of GammaLink, produced the first computer fax board called GammaFax in 1985. Dave 31:44 Okay. Tara 31:45 So they might have licensed it from Hank. Dave 31:47 Right. Tara 31:47 Who knows? Dave 31:48 Good job, Hank. Tara 31:49 Yeah. Clip 31:49 Ha ha! Science! Color watch solves a color problem. Your boy. Smile! Nice shot. And telephone. A pink flamingo's got maroon. The wall looks terrible. An old spot was always true blue, but this is ridiculous. Next time, get your pictures developed at any store where you see this Kodak Color Watch seal for great-looking pictures. If you don't see the color watch, Colour watch seal at your store. Keep on walking. Dave 32:21 Just before the music falls out of our heads, when did and I think it's much earlier than the 80s, but when didop b-doop p-doop mean I'm a dumb guy trying to do lady shit like shopping or whatever Tara 32:33 I feel like that's a the music cue we could would have heard in like the Flintstones, like a version of it. Dave 32:37 Yeah, it is. Sarah 32:38 Mm-hmm. Tara 32:39 Yeah, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Dave 32:39 Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but it is a tonal signifier that you are dumb and a man. Tara 32:41 Yeah. Sarah 32:42 Yeah Tara 32:44 Mm-hmm. Yes. Sarah 32:46 This is, I think, slightly before the era when one hour developing, like at the drugstore that was automated, was becoming common at all. for my entire until I was old enough to vote. Dave 33:01 Yeah. Sarah 33:01 There were people that you knew personally who owned the camera and photo store Singular in your town and if Tara 33:09 Mm-hmm. Sarah 33:11 Fucking Megan Carter, who was your age, was on developing duty that week. You had to live with some really indifferent results. And they took a week and a half. Tara 33:21 Yeah Sarah 33:22 And and it was expensive. Like you had to sort of like put aside some money to get that done. Tara 33:27 Yes. Sarah 33:27 And if your pig flimming goes for maroon, what were you supposed to do? Dave 33:31 But then flash forward a few years, I'm gonna say, maybe even contemporaneous with that, is when the one hour Photoshop, I think the one in Canada was actually called like Japan camera or something like that. Tara 33:43 Mm-hmm. Dave 33:44 And they would be in malls and you would just drop it off and in theory you could pay to get 'em in an hour. But they were so crazy and innovative and awe-inspiring and mind blowing They would show you the technology at work. You could see people's photos being developed and sliding right next to the glass, like you're window shopping for people's memories. Tara 34:00 Right. Yes. Yes. Dave 34:06 And like who the Fuck knows? Tara 34:07 Wow. Yeah, that's crazy. Dave 34:08 Like like okay, yeah, maybe they like just make sure they don't put any nudes or whatever there, but still those are my fucking photos. Tara 34:14 Maybe. Yeah, that's true. Sarah 34:16 Yeah. Dave 34:16 It was so crazy. Tara 34:18 That's Dave 34:18 I remember even thinking at the time, like what? Sarah 34:21 Yeah, at first it was like, Oh, it's like watching cars go through the car wash, and then it's like, was that a nipple? Dave 34:26 Yeah. Sarah 34:27 Hmm. Tara 34:28 If you were having if you were photographing nipples, I would hope you would get a Polaroid. That's what they're for. Dave 34:33 Also, man having trouble in modern world, lease your dog. Tara 34:36 Yeah, true. Sarah 34:36 Yeah, seriously. Tara 34:37 It really did take me back to see like take them to your Kodak authorized shop. And it was like a store on a street. Like on the main street of town, not even in a in a mall. Sarah 34:44 Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, now it's an Italian restaurant in my hometown. Tara 34:51 Yes. Sarah 34:51 Just drove past it the other day. Clip 34:53 Bring me a bib, cause it's gonna get juicy. It's gonna be a junky! Come on into a Sunday bar. Where is Sunday you ever saw? There are so many ways to make a Sunday at Ponderosa. You can have a different one every day of the week. Now at Ponderosa, create as many Sundays as you want for just 59 cents. Sarah 35:28 Well, Tara 35:28 Maybe single people come to Ponderosa. We don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know Dave 35:35 I don't want to hem in your children that much. Let them run free. Let them have a childhood. But teach your children how to put peanuts on top of a Sunday, fucking please. It is not you're not fucking bombing dams in World War II.you're not coming in hot from a high altitude You could just sprinkle them very close to the ice cream so they don't fall fucking everywhere and contaminate the Jimmies, etc. Tara 36:00 Yes, mm-hmm Sarah 36:02 Thank you. Dave 36:02 You like cherries on your Sundays? I don't, but if I did, I wouldn't want them festooned with peanut bits. Tara 36:09 Yep. Dave 36:09 Eli Sarah 36:12 Am I the only one who only uh thought that strawberry sauce on ice cream was like only a TV thing and never saw it like in my life? Dave 36:19 Yeah Tara 36:20 Yeah. Dave 36:21 I remember the first time I went to a breakfast place like a Denny's Perkins kind of place and they had not just maple syrup, you had Three or four things you could put on your pancakes, and one of them I think was strawberry syrup. One of them was blueberry syrup. Tara 36:36 Oh yeah, blueberry syrup's good. Sarah 36:38 Yeah, mm-hmm, mm-hmm Dave 36:38 Mind blown. Tara 36:39 Mm-hmm Dave 36:40 I speak about mind-blown the first time I went to Ponderosa. Tara 36:42 Yeah. Dave 36:43 I fucking loathe Ponderosa as a kid. There's a obviously a direct line from my love of Ponderosa to Sweet Tomatoes. Sweet Tomatoes is the superior experience. Tara 36:52 For sure. Dave 36:52 But back in the day we had Ponderosa with the all-you-can-eat salad bar and l one soup, whatever it was. Tara 36:57 Mm-hmm. Dave 36:59 And My dad, being the thrifty person that he was, encouraged the family outings to be a Ponderot so we could fill up for the day. Go for lunch and fill up for the day. And I'm like, yeah, for sure, fine. Tara 37:10 Yeah. Dave 37:11 Let's do it. I would go and eat 20 bags of salad or whatever I would do. Tara 37:14 Mm-hmm. Dave 37:14 And and uh it's uh Foodjoy that stays with me to this day. I think it might be time to go to Arizona for food sweet tomatoes again. Tara 37:22 That's the second time you said that in two episodes of extra extra heart great, so noted Sarah 37:25 Yep. I think it's time. Clip 37:28 I say sanity is overrated. Wouldn't you just love an ice cold man and made song drink right now? Be amazing. soft drink with 10% juices. Real minute-made juices and vitamins too. Well what's stopping you? The amazing soft drink. Real Minute Made juices in a soft drink. Now that's amazing in Orange or Lemon Live. Dave 38:02 I'll have what she's having. Tara 38:04 What you can't see, dear listener, is that the woman is in a car, she's in a convertible, she's also very cool, cool like the girl in the Suave commercial. Sarah 38:12 Ajá Tara 38:13 She's waiting for a train to go by and in between the cars she can see on the other side of the tracks a Minute Made Soda machine. And she is so desperate to go over there and get it. Sarah 38:20 Mm-hmm. Dave 38:24 Yeah. Tara 38:24 that she with the power of her mind Yes she raises the tracks and the train keeps going no problem she isn't no no issue with the train Dave 38:27 And orgasm. Sarah 38:29 Yeah. Dave 38:35 I think her orgasm was so large that it was like just like it was orgasm wind. Tara 38:40 Yes. Dave 38:40 It was so big that it flew the track of off the ground. Sarah 38:41 Mm-hmm. Tara 38:41 Yes. This is the cousin of the girl with something extra. This one has telekinesis. Dave 38:47 That's right. Sarah 38:48 Mm-hmm. Tara 38:48 I don't blame her because it's really true. Minimade soda was the superior orange soda. It was orangier. Sarah 38:53 It was the shit. Dave 38:55 Yeah. Sarah 38:56 Also, Minute Made frozen limeade, which we would eat with a spoon from the can. Tara 38:58 Oh Yep. Dave 38:58 Oh yeah. Tara 39:00 Nice. Dave 39:01 My mother bought the Limeade Frozen Concentrate stuff. Sarah 39:01 Good as Hell. Tara 39:04 Mm-hmm. Dave 39:05 Maybe it was mint made, but I can't remember. Tara 39:07 It was Mena Made because it was my mother's a favorite Dave 39:10 My mother's too, and it was like the fucking nurse pen. She wouldn't let anybody else have it. Tara 39:14 What? Dave 39:14 It was just for her. Tara 39:15 Oh my God, that's crazy Sarah 39:15 Wow Dave 39:17 She would make it, it would be in the fridge, and be like, well you can't have that. I'm like Tara 39:20 That's insane. Dave 39:23 Yeah, I know. Tara 39:23 Wow. Dave 39:24 That's why this day whenever I can get my hands on lime I'll Tara 39:28 I mean, may she rest in peace, but Jesus Christ Sarah 39:32 Yeah, rude Dave 39:32 Yeah. Tara 39:33 No further comments. Dave 39:36 All right. Clip 39:44 A couple of years ago I found myself in a situation where I had to cheer up a clown. The circus was passing through Pittsburgh and he'd broken his glasses. He bought his glasses at Pearl, but in Denver. So he was happy to hear that with the Pearl guarantee. He could get glasses replaced free at any pro in any city. Pearl people know eyes and they care. It was nice knowing I could make a clown smile. Nobody cares for eyes more than Pearl. Dave 40:13 But Doctor, I am prolating. Clip 40:22 Wait! He's accused of a crime he didn't commit. Why don't you believe me? If you're innocent, you've got nothing to be afraid of. Turn yourself in. Stranded in a city, he doesn't know. I need your help. Well, what do you want with me? You're the only person. I know in Los Angeles. Hunted by a man he's never met. Anthony Michael Hall. Could turn out to be a real high. Out of bounds, rated R. Starts Friday at Select Theatres. Sarah 40:50 Yeah, ended Sunday Select Theatres There were a lot of a lot of these attempts to break out of the Brad Pack mold and oof. Uh I believe his uh love interest slash the only person he knows in LA is the same gal who played Rob Lowe's character's wife. And St. Elmo's, she had a certain extremely eighties look, Prince complimentary. Tara 41:14 Mm-hmm. Sarah 41:15 I hope that she introduces them both to an acting coach at some point in this movie, cause ufa, like if Your line delivery in the trailer is bad? Tara 41:23 Mm Sarah 41:24 It's not that's not the best. Anyway, this movie is terrible. Tara 41:29 This is also coming out right at the end of his one season on SNL, so a dark time for Anthony Michael Hall. Sarah 41:35 Mm, yep Clip 41:36 Let's check it out, you bother! Hey you're right. And the simpler I make my life. the happier I am. I went to the gym, came home, and colored my hair. It was nice and easy. You thought it was my natural color? I can't believe you didn't know. Thanks. Bill says it feels great I think it feels like silk. It's gotta go Bill's family's coming for dinner. Yeah, the whole family. How can I sound so relaxed? Nice and easy. That's my style. Sarah 42:07 Urban. Dave 42:09 Is that a real song in the background? Because if you actually listen to the song, you will go crazy. Tara 42:13 I wasn't, I don't know. Sarah 42:14 Yeah. Dave 42:14 Ba ba ba ba ba ba. Whoa woa woah woa Sarah 42:18 Yeah. Also Bill sounds like a real piece of work. Tara 42:22 Well, I expected there to be a turn where it's like nice and easy, I'm doing the least to get the most out of life. Like I'm just simplifying to where you see like his whole family's coming over and she's unpacking like the takeout dinner that she bought, but no, just a woman having it all, including hair that, if she says so herself, feels like silk. Sarah 42:35 Mm-hmm Tara 42:42 Little conceited, Connie. Clip 42:51 The New York Mets are out in front in the National League East. They'll take on the Cincinnati Reds. Or San Francisco meets St. Louis on ABC's Monday Night Baseball. Sarah 43:02 Well, this uh game that was broadcast was sandwiched between a fifteen inning game against the Astros and a fourteen in a game, also against the Reds, that featured a brawl that got so many people kicked out on both sides that uh two Mets relief pitchers had to like switch between the bound and the outfield depending on who's batting. Tara 43:23 Wow. Sarah 43:23 The but the actual game was just a normal four to two win. For the Metros back when they had normal four to two wins in that championship season. The Mets were thirteen games ahead of Montreal on that date. Dave 43:36 Ah, Montreal. Tara 43:37 Oh, Dave 43:39 I wonder why more sports don't encourage people to fight on fields like hockey. Tara 43:44 Yeah. Dave 43:45 Everybody loves a hockey fight when you're at a hockey game. If baseball had more fisticuffs, I might go to one or two more in my life. Sarah 43:52 There's a fair amount of fisticuffs, and especially once you get to this point in the season where everyone is Dave 43:54 Hmm. Sarah 43:57 exhausted and stressed out and you got a bunch of like last place teams playing each other and some nineteen year old doesn't know where the ball necessarily is going and if it goes into someone's backside and then the bench is clear, I don't know. Baseball fights are great. Dave 44:12 Well, baseball fights are good because there is that frozen moment of time and then there is the I gotta run to you and fight you ten seconds, which is Sarah 44:20 Yes, from the bullpen, which is like a quarter of a mile away, and someone has to like call out there or like text them on the iPad they're using to chart pitches and be like, yo, scramble plates, we're fighting. Dave 44:23 Yeah. Yeah, that's right. I'm not on the group text. I didn't know Clip 44:47 Oh yes look, I've been back, come for the hit, jump and walk and back, oh that Sarah 44:49 I hate it here. Tara 44:53 Wow, s so long Clip 44:56 Somewhere beyond the land of love. Do you mind if I kiss the witness? Lies a cozy honeymoon hideaway. How does it feel? Niagara Falls was It's never like this. Oh boy, that feels good. Katherine Hellman, Deborah Raffin, Andy Griffith, and Sally Kellerman. As long as you're here, pretend to be mad. When it comes to romance, it's the last resort for lovers only. Next Sunday. Tara 45:25 I tried to look this up under For Lovers Only 1986, which is what I assumed it was, and was like, oh, too bad. no longer exists. Because I got the year wrong. Back in nineteen eighty-six, in the summertime, a network could just show a TV movie from four years earlier. Dave 45:41 Sure. Tara 45:42 'Cause those were your choices, so I regret to tell everyone on this call I did find it and might terrorize you with it someday. Sarah 45:43 Oh Tara 45:51 Other stars that were not mentioned in that include Jane Kasmeric, Tracy Pollen, pre-her time on Family Ties, I think, Gary Sandy from WKRP in Cincinnati. Sarah 45:55 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Dave 45:59 I love I love her work with flowers. I love her this work with beaches. Tara 46:07 So I'll link it in the show notes because it's on YouTube. Oh, and Robert Hegges from or Hedges, I'm not sure how to pronounce his name, from Welcome Back Cotter. Sarah 46:15 Mm-hmm. Dave 46:15 Niagara Falls was always like whatever this is in the narration. Whatever this is, Niagara Falls was always like that. It is a shitty town, always has been, always will be. Not romantic, not clean, not not mob infested. Sarah 46:28 No, no. Tara 46:30 Mm-hmm. Dave 46:31 Whatever you want out of Niagara Falls, you're not gonna get it Sarah 46:31 No Branson North Dave 46:37 Basically, Does anybody else feel a little fried? So many clips and music and stuff. My brain's not really working. Tara 46:57 Mm-hmm. Dave 47:01 Anyways, this is ASCII HG.why does it take so long to get to the thing? Did I start the Oh here we go, yay! Tara 47:20 Breaking news before we get into this. Dave 47:22 All right. Tara 47:22 I just received the pre Dave 47:23 Did it happen? Is he dead? Tara 47:24 No, no. Dave 47:25 Oh. Tara 47:26 I just received the premiere screener for Totally 90s house. Dave 47:31 Okay. Sarah 47:32 Nice Dave 47:33 Grape. Well, pick your jaw off the floor, everybody, after that piece of news. It's time for Ask EHG, which means we first must deal with last week's Ask Ask EHG.let's spin the wheel of judgment. Ooh, ooh ah, amazing. It is Sarah. Sarah 47:54 Uh now with Lyman. Last week's Ask Ask EHG question came to us from L Triple B Quote, I just began watching the rookie, and it appears there will be a reoccurring antagonist. Who would you say are the best examples of this type of role? Before we get into listener answers, we had many good ones. I tried to narrow it down, but I believe Dave also has an entry here. Dave 48:18 Yeah, I'm gonna vote here. Not typical, but I think very good is Noho Hank from Barry. Tara 48:24 Mm, mm-hmm, yep Sarah 48:25 Hmm. Dave 48:26 So he's my vote. Sarah 48:26 Yep. Well, like I said, we had a lot of uh good entries. One of our runner-ups is from Seth. who nominates, quote, Hannibal's Frederick Chiltern, play to oozing perfection by Raul Esparza. Chiltern is such an utter wiener that his escalating absurd tragedies are a delight to watch. Disemboweled by Susie Eddie Izzard. Shot in the face by Anna Shlumsky. The Red Dragon bites off his lips and sets him on fire. And he survives it all. If the show ever returns, he'll probably get atomized in some sort of science experiment gone awry, but then return blue. Meredith nominated from Homicide Life on the Street I'd forgotten what a fascinating character Luther Mahoney was. He was a smart, effectively menacing villain, nothing like the portrayals of drug dealers I had seen up to that point. But our winner, because they reminded me that I also am due for a fringe rewatch, is Aaron W. V, who says, I always liked the intelligent menace of Jared Harris on Fringe playing David Robert Jones. He was the big bad in the first season, and then again in the fourth after the universe rebooted, I am so due for a rewatch. Same here and Aaron WV, you can do so accompanied by your stickers of victory, please DM Dave on Discord for those. Dave 49:45 Thank you, Sarah. Yes, hit me up. Or if you love email so much you want to do by email, go ahead, david at cole. fyi. All right, let's get into your questions this week. This Ask EH is brought to you by the new Extra Hot Food shirt in our store. If you want a shirt that doesn't say Extra Hot Great, but instead says extra hot food, there's all these 70s food. Sarah 50:02 Yeah. Dave 50:08 Shit flying at you. I got the shirt for you through methods. com. All right, let's get into your food questions for today. First one comes from Diana. Who is your favorite celebrity chef dar? Tara 50:19 I mean, I really have no opinions on celebrity chefs. This is not content that I uh engage with. Dave 50:25 All right, great, thanks, sir. Tara 50:26 So by default, I have to say Anthony Bourdain, Sarah. Sarah 50:30 Um, Living, Maddie Matheson, aka Neil Fact on the bear, but all time is Bourdain, who I find myself missing on a weekly basis. Dave. Dave 50:40 Yeah, I thought about Bourdain, but I have to say I don't think I've ever seen footage of him cooking one thing in my life. Like he really just sort of slid out of that part of being a chef and into being a personality. Tara 50:52 Yeah, but that doesn't make him not a celebrity chef. Dave 50:53 So Uh I understand. Tara 50:56 Yeah. Dave 50:56 But my answer is Elzar because of his spice weasel. Tara 50:59 Bam Dave 50:59 Bam. Elzbeth Of the three hosts, who would mo uh who of the three hosts, who would look most suspicious carrying a baguette? Sarah? What do you think? Sarah 51:11 I'm gonna say myself because I would be clumsy about it, because I am clumsy, so it would look like a bit designed to distract from some pickpocket adjacent chicanery and uh I just think I would look sketchy with a baguette, Dave? Dave 51:20 Yeah Yeah, let me sum that up for you. Sarah, Sarah is always up to no good. Sorry. Sarah 51:30 Hmm. Tara 51:31 My answer is I think Dave would look suspicious doing most things, including carrying a baguette Dave 51:36 Okay. Diatho, from a standing position, which could you throw further, a baguette or a non? Non, it's like a frisbee, and naturally has a little bit of stretch to it, which would help it not rip apart during the toss. And I don't think a baguette is very aerodynamic. I think you would need to like you would have to gnaw one end of it down to a point in in order to create less draft. I think if you throw a baguette, it's just gonna wobble and flop. When then you're gonna get a little more distance because you can throw a leg of first B. Tara 52:05 I I I disagree. I don't trust how Anan would fly. I said baguette, I'm gonna throw it like a football. Like j I think just straight line. Straight spiral or I I guess Sarah 52:15 Yeah, agree. Baguette 100%. I just think it's like more aerodynamically like the cuts on the top could make things weird, but I think if you like grip it by the laces Tara 52:24 Mm. Mm-hmm. Sarah 52:28 I don't know. I don't know football things. Tara 52:30 Yeah. Dave 52:30 Sarah just created bread speed holes. Elspeth, if you are what you eat, what are you at time of recording? Sarah 52:36 Ew. Dave 52:39 Tara. Tara 52:40 Banana, Sarah. Sarah 52:41 Uh Swiss cheese sandwich and a handful of cool ranch Doritz, Dave Dave 52:46 Uh like nine eight hour old gummy bears Tara 52:52 That's true, you haven't eaten today Dave 52:54 Corey M for the vegetarians. What's the best protein option that is non-meat? Do you like any meat analogs like impossible, etc. ? Sarah. Sarah 53:05 I uh may be stealing David Ticole's answer here, but I think frequently of his assertion made to me years ago that a meal substitute uh meat substitute's first and fatal mistake is thinking of itself as a meat substitute versus its own valid thing. and not leaning into its essential veggie national. So like the Brown morning star pucks that you used to see like thirty years ago in the frozen food case Which were kind of trying to downplay their content. And full disclosure, the maple faux sausage, faux pucks were like my favorite. But I am uh politically aligned with Dave on that. Just show us the corn and the carrot bits and edamami bits and stuff. Be the thing and not a sad capital N, not something else thing. So that is part one of my introduction. Part two is a reminder that I am a vegeguarian and not everyone enjoys seafood, but substituting tuna or swordfish into famous sandwiches that usually feature meat, like a ruben, is a delicious time. Here's my actual answer. I do like meat analogs like Impossible. I have a marginal preference for it over beyond, but it is a substitute versus its own positive option. There is an uncanny valley. thing there that means that I don't totally trust that it's not beef. And again, this won't be for everyone, but a portobello gets a lot of meaty things done in terms of an earthy taste, chew resistance. Like put a grilled cap on a burger bun, diced baby bellows make a gravy, many vegetables roasted partially enough with enough spicing can go in a po'boy with a tomato slice and Go down great. Also, after half a lifetime now of not eating things that walked on land, any meat items I miss, I miss because I miss my mom's version. Which is, as it were, now off the table. So grain of Himalayan salt, but let's let Dave, the actual vegetarian, actual expert, take us home on this one. Dave 55:00 Yeah, good point about portobellos. The problem with portobellos for a lot of people is the texture as you take a bite of a portobello. So if you feel like Sarah 55:08 Mm, yeah Dave 55:09 You could stand a mushroom forward, whatever, cut the portobello into strips, then do whatever you're gonna do with it, and then put it on whatever you're gonna do with it so that you get sear. Sarah 55:16 Yes. Yes, hundred percent. Good tip. Dave 55:20 Through it. My choice lately has been Satan. I don't know how actually you're supposed to say it properly. Tara 55:25 I think it's Satan. Dave 55:26 Satan? Tara 55:27 Mm-hmm. Dave 55:27 Okay. Sarah 55:27 Mm-hmm. Dave 55:28 Which is wheat gluten, aka wheat meat. they call it, which is fun to say wheat meat. Sarah 55:32 Wheat meat. Dave 55:34 It's got a little chew to it, so it's sort of like a thing that we'd use in place of like chicken in a salad sort of thing. It's just the main way I do it. This brand called Upton, you get the traditional type, not the chorizo type, you know, lightly fried in a pan or whatever, put some buffalo wing sauce or something on it. One puck has almost 80 Grams of protein. Tara 55:55 Jesus Christ Dave 55:57 Yeah. Sarah 55:57 Wow, I didn't realize it was that high. Dave 55:59 Yeah, 360 calories for the whole thing, I think. So I just like throw it on a giant salad at the end of the day and that way I finally fucking get my protein. Tara 56:07 sí Dave 56:07 as a vegetarian. I also use tofu sometimes, although I've sort of have been using it less now that I'm now that I'm into Satan. Tara 56:16 But you'll you'll put some some tofu chunks in the air fryer or whatever. Dave 56:19 Yeah, yeah, because they're quick. Tara 56:21 Mm-hmm. Dave 56:21 They bake up quick. For chili, for vegetarian chili, I do have in the freezer the last bags ever of the ground crumbles from Beyond Meat, who stopped making them. If you're like, where's my Beyond Meat Crumbles? Sarah 56:30 Oh wow Dave 56:32 Which are, yes, sort of supposed to be beefy, but it's like the closest thing you can get to that texture for a chili, which I think is important. Tara 56:39 Mm-hmm. Sarah 56:40 Mm-hmm. Tara 56:40 Yeah. Dave 56:41 Doesn't really taste like meat, it's more of Tara 56:43 It's just it is, yeah. Dave 56:43 It really is more for texture, I think. So I have to find a substitute for that substitute because that substitute is no more. But yeah, as Sarah was saying, I generally don't gravitate towards the It tastes like meat things because I Just don't l care to taste meat again. Like it's not I'm not being holier than thou. It's just like after you've been away from meat so long and your palate does change. And once in a while you get a whiff of something you used to eat, you're like, oh, I don't do this smell good to me anymore. Same sort of thing. So like if I get a burger, I would like a burger with chunks of things in it or one that's obviously made out of something that isn't beef, such as the Five Napkin beet and black bean burger. Sarah 57:16 Mm-hmm. Dave 57:22 Shout out Five Napkin burger. Tara 57:22 Yeah. Sarah 57:22 Oh, so good. Dave 57:24 If I'm at home, I will get the Trader Joe's Indian-style veggie burgers, which are delicious. They're sort of like a curry dish and a Somoza had a patty baby. Sarah 57:31 Oh, they're so good. Tara 57:35 Mm, that sounds yummy Dave 57:35 So those are my suggestions. Sarah 57:36 Mm-hmm Dave 57:37 Moving on, Jovial Gent, Fuck Mary Kill, Pasta Salad, Potato Salad, Greens Salad. Fuck pasta salad is bad for me and I know it. Mary Grease based salad, the wedding would be at Yes. Tara 57:54 Sweet tomatoes. Dave 57:56 Kill potato salad, which I find gross Tara 57:58 Yeah, I knew you were I I could have predicted that Dave 58:01 Yeah, Sarah. Sarah 58:02 Greenspace salad is trying to kill us, so uh f but that aside, Fuck Greenspace Salad Dave 58:06 That's true. Sarah 58:09 Mary Potato if it is made properly. I was two days ago years old when I learned that apparently some people think it is appropriate to place raisins in a potato salad, like Tara 58:18 I know. Sick Dave 58:20 But what Sarah 58:21 Even if I liked raisins, what the Fuck? Dave 58:23 That's nail that's from right. Sarah 58:24 Like I like black licorice. I'm not putting that shit in a PS either. What are we doing? Dave 58:29 I you know when like you go to heaven, right guys? Tara 58:32 Yeah. Dave 58:32 And you get to ask God one question, which I think is the law in heaven. Like you know, Peter lets you through and you're like, oh, you got you one shot. I would like to ask him, are all the recipes from the 60s and 70s with raisins in it? Who was the first person to just throw raisins in shit because they had too many raisins and the family had to go along with a lie because that person also had dementia or something like that? Tara 58:50 Uh huh. Yeah, yeah. Dave 58:56 I feel like that is the origin of all this. There's some sad tale like that. Tara 59:01 Yeah. Sarah 59:02 My grandmother, like being depression-era lady, you made substitutions. Some of hers were Avant garde, parents derogatory, and um like a Putinesco would come out and it's like Is that a banana slice? Tara 59:15 Oh, my God. Sarah 59:16 I'm going to riot. Like the number of times my uncle just went to stand out in the yard and drink Tara 59:20 Jesus. Sarah 59:21 dinner and laugh hysterically at her. Tara 59:24 Oh Sarah 59:25 But I think a lot of it is is that and like trying to stretch stuff, but like using raisins for that seems really weird. Tara 59:33 Mm-hmm. I don't like a slaw of any kind, but I really think my slaw antipathy is because I the the first time I saw carrot slaw with raisins in it. Sarah 59:43 Yeah Dave 59:43 The uh Sycamore Kitchen where we used to live in LA once had roasted Brussels sprout slaw and it was fucking delicious. Sarah 59:51 Oh God, yes. Today in my face Dave 59:53 Yeah. Tara 59:54 Sl slough does not help itself by being called slaw, which to me is just like slough. Sarah 59:58 Yeah, no. Tara 01:00:00 Anyway. Sarah 01:00:00 And coleslaw. Oh, Dave, sorry. Dave 01:00:03 Yeah Tara 01:00:03 Fuck pasta salad for the same reasons as Dave. Merry Potato Salad. Something I would never be arsed to make myself, but when I see it in a buffet, I'm always very happy and don't get enough of it for that reason because I am what too lazy. Kill green salad. I think we all knew that was coming. Dave 01:00:21 What is in potato salad again? Sarah 01:00:22 Uh-huh Tara 01:00:24 Potatoes, mayonnaise, sometimes like hard boiled egg whites. Dave 01:00:24 Yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. Sarah 01:00:29 No, hard-boiled egg slices, celery and celery greens, very thinly sliced red onion, and a teaspoon of mustard. Dave 01:00:29 God Tara 01:00:31 Okay Sarah 01:00:37 This is black letter laud. Tara 01:00:39 Sometimes I see a red pepper, like a diced red pepper, too Dave 01:00:43 I was gonna say that sounds incredibly American, but it's probably German, right? Tara 01:00:47 Yeah. Dave 01:00:48 Yeah. Sarah 01:00:48 No, yeah. Tara 01:00:48 Well German potato salad is a different varietal, and that's not the kind I like. Dave 01:00:50 Oh, okay. Alright. Too German. Tara 01:00:54 Yes. Dave 01:00:54 Yeah. Jovial Gent has a follow-up question. Sarah 01:00:55 Don't care. Dave 01:00:57 Feta, yay or nay? Feta. Tara 01:01:01 Mm-hmm. Dave 01:01:01 He's talking about the cheese. Tara 01:01:02 Yes. Dave 01:01:03 Tar. Tara 01:01:03 I don't have occasion to have it that much, but you know, I l I I would Fuck Pasta salad, so there it is. You gotta have you gotta have feta in your pasta salad, in my opinions. Dave 01:01:12 You gotta invite Feta over for little side action. Tara 01:01:15 Yes. Sarah 01:01:15 Mm-hmm. Dave 01:01:16 Uh-huh. Tara 01:01:16 Sarah. Sarah 01:01:17 Feta with benefits. Tara 01:01:18 Mm-hmm. Sarah. Sarah 01:01:19 Uh I'm a yay, obviously, on Feta Dave 01:01:22 Yeah, me too. I get these big tower of fetas from Costco. You know those uh you know when you go to Vegas and you get those drinks and they're like a mile high long things? Sarah 01:01:31 Mm-hmm. Dave 01:01:31 It's like that, but it's for just for feta. Tara 01:01:31 Mm-hmm. Sarah 01:01:32 The fetometer Tara 01:01:33 Yeah Dave 01:01:34 Feta beater. Yes, thank you. And at the bottom of it, by the time you get there, it's all just like micro feta bits. Take those microfeta bits, immediately put them on top of your microwave popcorn the second it comes out of the microwave. Tara 01:01:47 Oh mm. Dave 01:01:47 Add a little dillweed. Sarah 01:01:47 Oh Dave 01:01:50 Little crack pepper. Tara 01:01:51 Mm-hmm. Dave 01:01:51 I'm telling ya, you're in for a treat. Tara 01:01:53 That sounds great. Dave 01:01:53 It's party time at Dave's house. Tara 01:01:55 Mm-hmm. Dave 01:01:55 Come on over. We'll have some popcorn. Sarah 01:01:56 I have to go downstairs for a second. No reason. Dave 01:01:59 We'll have some popcorn. We'll have to be quiet because Tar is fucking the feta in the bedroom. Tara 01:02:05 Yeah. Dave 01:02:05 Jovial Jen, Hatrick, what is your favorite hotel continental breakfast? Sir Sarah 01:02:14 I'm not really a breakfast guy, so usually it's two cups of black coffee and a muffin for the road. Dave. Dave 01:02:21 Yeah, sleeping in past breakfast hours is my breakfast, so I usually don't uh get the chance to partake. If I manage to hit the tail end of it and there's like there's the sad Apple with the bruise and the banana that's like have broken somehow. Sarah 01:02:34 Mm-hmm. Dave 01:02:36 I'll grab a coffee, just like Sarah said, and beyond my way. Tara 01:02:40 That's a good point. I don't really trust any banana that I have not chosen myself. Whenever you see them like, you know, at Starbucks or like at any buffet, it's like it's always weird in some way. Dave 01:02:51 You're like, I bet they put 'em in the oven. Tara 01:02:51 Anyway It's like something. Anyway. Dave 01:02:55 What is the definition of a continental breakfast? Tara 01:02:57 It's cold breakfast. Dave 01:02:59 Okay. Tara 01:02:59 So like if we g s are staying somewhere with a breakfast Breakfast buffet, like a proper breakfast buffet. Dave 01:03:02 Yeah. Tara 01:03:04 Will I go down to make a point to get scrambled eggs, even though that's not my egg preference and bacon? Sarah 01:03:07 Mm-hmm. Dave 01:03:09 Mm-hmm. Tara 01:03:09 Of course. Dave 01:03:10 Sure. Tara 01:03:10 But otherwise, if I have time to get continental breakfasts, it's muffin and orange juice, because I don't drink coffee. If they have it, I would take a Danish over muffin. Dave 01:03:20 Steph has a follow up. What is your favorite continent? Tara 01:03:23 Mm. Dave 01:03:24 Just to put the breakfast in perspective, I guess. It's it's North America is where I keep all my stuff. Tara 01:03:26 Mm-hmm. Dave 01:03:28 Tara. Tara 01:03:29 Yeah, same. Sorry to be a homer, Sarah. Sarah 01:03:31 Antarctica, never sweaty, very few other people. Dave 01:03:35 All right. Tara 01:03:36 Interesting. Clip 01:03:54 Is this worse than jazz? Tara 01:03:56 I feel like every time we hear that, I hear a different part of it. Clip 01:03:57 Did you D D Tara 01:03:59 And this time it was the piano like clock, clock, clock, clock, clock. Dave 01:04:02 Sure Tara 01:04:03 Anyway. Dave 01:04:03 That's the beauty of jazz and the torment of jazz. Tara 01:04:05 That is, and yes. Dave 01:04:07 Root Goldberg has this question for us. Is caffeine-free diet Pepsi worse worse than jazz? Tara. Caffeine-free diet Pepsi? Tara 01:04:16 I I've never had it, but probably I don't know what the point of diet pepsy is if it's caffeine-free, Sarah. Sarah 01:04:23 I don't drink sodye for caffeine purposes, so no, I'm sure it's fine, Dave. Dave 01:04:29 Diapepsy is bad. Caffeine-free diapesi is worse, and I would say it's approaching just Brown water at that point I'd still rather drink that than listen to jazz, though. So I'm gonna say not worse than jazz. Jovial Gent's back. Jovial Gent loved asking food questions. What is the best food mascot to go on a date with? Sarah D. Bunting, you're lonely, you gotta go on dates now, you're on the food mascot app biter, and you're looking for matches. Sarah 01:05:04 They all seem kind of terrible in a date level, if I'm being real. So I'm gonna go with the Burger King because he's the least yelly, I suspect. Tara. Tara 01:05:15 Tony the Tiger seems like a fun hang, Dave Dave 01:05:20 Oh thing that you're never gonna hear got cut out Sarah, I thought you were gonna perhaps put Mr. Peanut up there as a possible I he's fancy. Tara 01:05:30 Oh, yeah, good point. Sarah 01:05:33 That mofa he'd probably show up drunk and he already would not have pants on. Presumpts. Tara 01:05:39 Mm-hmm. Sarah 01:05:40 No no. Dave 01:05:40 I bet the Noid can probably get down. Tara 01:05:42 Yeah. Crazy in the head, crazy in the bed Dave 01:05:44 Can Yeah. No reservation issues if Kool-Aid man's in the mix Tara 01:05:49 True Dave 01:05:50 Oh yeah. And uh what to steer away from is King Vitaman because he of course he has privilege of first knight. Tara 01:05:58 Yeah. Dave 01:06:00 And with an E, should I buy a crock pot? I have a tiny, cute, toy-sized little crock pot that is just there for you to make queso you got four ingredients for queso you throw it in there you turn it on magically you had the most delicious queso in the world about a half hour later So if that feels like something you want in your life, absolutely. They cost like nine dollars for these little crock bots. Tara 01:06:22 Yeah, they're so cheap. Dave 01:06:23 And they're not like no name brands. It's Tara 01:06:26 Like Dave 01:06:26 It's still Crocko or whatever the bleeding brand is, I forget. What you don't want to get is an Instant Pot. Those are stupid. Okay, Sarah. Tara 01:06:33 We which we had for a time. Dave 01:06:35 We had for a second, and it never made anything better than just letting it sit on the stove and doing its thing. So the price you pay for a smoother soup for a better reduced chili is you have to be on what we call stir patrol. Tara 01:06:50 Yep. Dave 01:06:50 Every time you're within a 50 meter radius of the kitchen, you have to go into kitchen and stir. Tara 01:06:54 Yep Dave 01:06:54 Okay, Sarah, crock bots. Sarah 01:06:56 Yeah, having bought barely used and good willed too, I am forbidden from doing it again, and under the terms of the order of crockpot restraint, I am obliged to say no Anything I used it for, you can, as noted, just as easily do in a stock pot on your stove. Not everyone can do that safely, slash is home all day to keep half an eye on shit, so do what you gotta do, but I gotta say no. Dave 01:07:23 You know who would let you buy more crock pots? Mr. Peanut. Tara 01:07:28 Yeah, same answer as Dave. Dave 01:07:30 Alright. Tara 01:07:30 I don't cook. Dave 01:07:31 Rinsey, what other food-related nineteen seventies household device do we think could have killed Jack on This Is Us? So he was killed by Crockpot, right? Tara 01:07:39 Yeah, canonically s something. Dave 01:07:40 Caught on fire or something. Something went wrong. Tara 01:07:44 Mm-hmm. Dave 01:07:44 He fell into the crock pot and was cooked alive. He was reduced to some sort of father slurry. And that's why the spin-off show is called Father Slurry. Sarah 01:07:50 Mm-hmm. Dave 01:07:53 And it's about this goo that saves souls. Sarah 01:07:53 Yep Tara 01:07:55 Yeah. Sarah 01:07:56 The Father Slurry Mysteries. Dave 01:07:57 Tara w that's right. Sarah 01:07:58 We love it. Dave 01:08:01 Uh Tara. Tara 01:08:01 The thing that is actually used for bombs, pressure cooker, Sarah Dave 01:08:06 Hm Sarah 01:08:07 Speaking from recent experience, a mid-century gas range whose dials, clogged with centuries of crumbs or bits of broken gasket just wouldn't turn off, leaving an all-night ring of fire and or insidious gas leak. Tara 01:08:16 Oh no. Oh Fuck Dave 01:08:22 Three options for you. Electric carving knife. Tara 01:08:26 Mm. Dave 01:08:26 Did you guys have an electric carving knife in your house? Sarah 01:08:27 Oh no. Tara 01:08:28 Yep. Mm-hmm. Dave 01:08:29 Did you ever get to use it? Tara 01:08:30 Nah, I didn't, but it was only ever used on Thanksgiving, and that's it. Dave 01:08:33 Yeah, that's the only time I ever see it, and I've never wanted to play with anything more. Sarah 01:08:35 Yeah Tara 01:08:38 Yeah, mm-hmm, yeah Dave 01:08:38 It's like kinda like a lightsaber. It's the closest thing you're gonna get in the 1970s. Corn butterer, the corn butterer. Tara 01:08:45 Yes. Dave 01:08:46 Are you familiar with these things? Sarah 01:08:46 Oh yeah. Tara 01:08:48 Mm-hmm. Sarah 01:08:48 Mm-hmm. Dave 01:08:49 Never seen it before I started looking it up. It's like a kind of like a spoon with a like a spot for a butter pat and then like the bottom of the spoon has slots so you can like rub that over your corn. Tara 01:08:59 Uh oh that I thought you meant the kind that we saw when we went to the restaurant supply store last year. That were like tabletop ones where you just r it's like a roller. You put the butter at the bottom and then you w as you roll it, it picks up butter. Dave 01:09:10 Oh yeah, I know. Sarah 01:09:10 Mm-hmm. Dave 01:09:12 These were like separate utensils. Tara 01:09:14 Okay. Gotcha. Dave 01:09:16 It looks like they wouldn't really work. Tara 01:09:18 Uh huh. Dave 01:09:18 Yeah. Or Fonducet. Death by Fonducet. Tara 01:09:20 Oh yeah, that's a good one Sarah 01:09:21 Oh yeah Dave 01:09:22 I mean, remember that guy from Survivor that fell into the uh bonfire? Tara 01:09:26 Mike Dave 01:09:26 I imagine it's like that. Uh, Jack is it? Jack from This Is Up falls into the Fonduce set, flings up, and he looks like uh Romano from Robocop all melted just before he gets splats on the uh on the sedan. Sarah 01:09:30 Mm-hmm. Tara 01:09:37 Oh yeah. Oh boy Dave 01:09:41 Yep, that's what happens. Jovial Gent, one just for Sarah. What is your preferred glass shape for a Manhattan? Sarah 01:09:48 Thank you for this poser, Jovial Gent. I had never actually really thought about it before. Quick background over here. Manhattan is usually an up drink, i. e. Ingredients are mixed or iced in a cocktail shaker and then that is strained into the glass. Some people will drink it rocks. I'm not against that, but I think it's not ideal to appreciate the drink comp Anyhoodle. For the up-presentation, you have three choices. The standard cocktail or martini glass, the conical one, the Nick and Nora, which I didn't know was called that until yesterday, which looks more like a baby wine glass. Tara 01:10:20 Cool, mm-hmm. Sarah 01:10:23 And the coupe glass, which is a shorter, broader dish shape. I've had Manhattans in each and all, and being real, my quote preferred shape is the one that gets in front of my face the fastest. But while the cocktail glass is what I see the most often, and that's how they do it down the street at my local, everything else being equal, I like the coupe glass best, especially if I order it with a twist, it showcases the bouquet better I don't need anyone to be fucking around with boutique bitters or whatever if it means the thing takes fifteen minutes to make, but if my spirits liaison Took the trouble. The Coupe Glass gives you the best, broadest nose slash palette shant composition, as it were. But let's not pretend I'm cute and wouldn't drink it out of a world's best cat mom mug, because I would, and I have Tara 01:11:14 Before we proceed, I looked up Mike, the guy that fell in the fire on Survivor, and I'm sure I registered this at the time, but forgot. He was convicted of five counts of larceny by conversion and one count of racketeering for an alleged, I mean, I guess it's not alleged because he was convicted, Ponzi scheme. And while they were investigating him for that, they found um child pornography on his computer. Sarah 01:11:38 Yeah, yeah, they did. Tara 01:11:38 So he is also a convicted sex offender. Michael Skupin. Falling in the fire on Survivor, not the worst thing he ever did. Dave 01:11:46 EC Fell has our last question: coffee or tea or soda or energy energy Or energy dr and I can't say energy drinks today, apparently. Tara 01:11:59 Wow. Dave 01:11:59 One more time. Yep. EC Fell has this question for us: coffee or tea or soda or energy drinks? Sarah 01:12:01 Are yard Dave 01:12:05 Or none of the above. Coffee. And here's why. I like the taste of coffee, yes, of course. But good coffee is easy to find. Tea I find is like an afterthought in most of the US.it's hard to find actual quality tea without having to like drive downtown somewhere and like make a reservation or some bullshit. Energy drinks are gross. And soda, of course, I would stick it in an IB bag if I could. I know it's bad for me, but that's just the way it is. That's just the way I grew up. Tara 01:12:34 Mm-hmm. Dave 01:12:35 I grew up starved of soda now that I have it. That's all I want. Tara 01:12:39 I'm surprised that you don't drink limeade as much as you drink soda now, since you were denied it as a child. Dave 01:12:43 Yeah, I okay, but the the thing with limeade versus lemon lime soda drinks is that limeade tastes like a lime and it is strong. Tara 01:12:52 Yes, it is. Sarah 01:12:53 Is it Dave 01:12:54 Lemon lime drinks, 7 up, Bright, etc. Might as well just be water. I could barely taste the flavor. Tara 01:12:59 Mm-hmm. Dave 01:13:00 They are halfway between soda and LaCroix. Yep. Tara 01:13:05 I was a Pepsi Zero Sugar person. I have not drunk it in many months at this point. Now when I need to have something with a a caffeine delivery system. Dave 01:13:14 Friendship with Dia Pepsi over. Tara 01:13:17 I sampled several flavors of Celsius because I had heard about it and then I saw a whole pack of them for sale at Costco, the Kirkland signature knockoff Celsius. Dave 01:13:30 Yeah. Tara 01:13:30 which the flavors are orange or peach or tropical. Dave 01:13:34 Why isn't it called like Kelvin or Fahrenheit or something like that? Tara 01:13:38 They should. Dave 01:13:39 Yeah. Tara 01:13:39 They really should. Here's what I did today and Dave is gonna be so disgusted because he doesn't know. Dave 01:13:42 Okay, here we go. Love this. All right. Hands rubbing together. Tara 01:13:46 He's already grossed out that I pour it into a glass. Like for some reason that seems weird to him that I don't drink it out of the can. Dave 01:13:52 I just think that people that I wanna see the people in my lives who consume energy drinks and the the tall can is the signifier of that. Tara 01:13:58 Mm-hmm. Well Dave 01:14:01 So from a distance I can tell I don't want to talk to Tara today. Tara 01:14:04 Well, whatever. Sarah 01:14:04 Mm-hmm, yeah Tara 01:14:06 I had a can of orange Kirkland signature knockoff Celsius, Kelvin. Dave 01:14:10 Yeah, mm-hmm Tara 01:14:11 And then I had also had in the fridge from Monday a big tall glass of really sour lemonade from when I went to Trivia. that I had just put in the fridge and kind of forgotten about because I mostly drink water if I'm not trying to wake up and I put the lemonade in the orange energy drink. Dave 01:14:29 Uh-huh. Tara 01:14:29 And you know what? It was Citrus Seven adjacent. Dave 01:14:32 I tell ya what you need to do, maybe Tara 01:14:32 And I was not mad. Dave 01:14:36 If you experiment with that idea a little bit more, I can whip you up some of that citric acid goo. Tara 01:14:39 Yes. Mm-hmm. Dave 01:14:42 You just put like a couple drops in there, but it gets that sort of sourness instantly. Tara 01:14:45 Yeah, okay, I'm into it. Dave 01:14:47 Alright. Tara 01:14:48 Sarah. Sarah 01:14:48 Coffee and soda daily, tea sometimes if I need to keep warm in my drafty office, energy drinks. No Dave 01:14:55 Yeah. And by the way, tea, I'm talking about hot tea. Tara 01:14:59 Mm-hmm. Dave 01:14:59 Iced tea is a whole separate thing. Sarah 01:14:59 Yeah. Dave 01:15:01 America does iced tea fine, but I don't really like iced tea that much. Tara 01:15:01 Yes. Sarah 01:15:01 Mm-hmm. Yeah. Dave 01:15:04 Don't you know? All right. It is time for your question to answer. It is Ask Ask E H G. I am asking you to pitch Everyone on Earth a TV show based on a brand name food product. You got an idea for an Oreo show? I want to know what it is. Put your answer on our Discord. There's an Ask Ask EHG channel there. Or go to our website, go to the episode page, throw your answer in there. It'll make us way to Discord through magic methods. And we'll be back next week with judgment on that. Sarah 01:15:35 Don't forget to close the portal. Dave 01:15:37 Thank you. Clip 01:15:38 Enough! I'm so sick and tired of hearing you people talk about food, food, food! Dave 01:15:40 Phew! You know, if we don't do that, we have to record a full other episode. Sarah 01:15:46 Oh my god. Dave 01:15:46 Bad. Sarah 01:15:47 We've already recorded like two as it is. Dave 01:15:49 We're so we're at an hour and a half already. Tara 01:15:51 Wow. Dave 01:15:52 Alright, alright, here we go. Sarah 01:15:52 Oh my god. Dave 01:15:56 It is time for the Extra Hot Great Tiny Canon, presenting this week it is David T. Cole, who happens to be me. We just recently concluded a rewatch of News Radio, one of our favorite sitcoms here at Austin HQ. and I really enjoyed the scene that I'm pitching for the tiny broken human cannon, in which Theo, played by David Cross, who is Jimmy James's nephew, one of many nephews on the show. Tara 01:16:24 His weird nephew. Dave 01:16:25 His weird nephew Theo. He arrives at the station, is smitten with Beth, who is not returning his affections. And awkwardly, Jimmy James wants him to be performative with Beth in the break room. Here is the scene. Clip 01:16:40 Uncle Jimmy, please don't make me do this. Oh, come on, son. You got a gift. Use it. Use what, sir? What Theo didn't tell you what he does for a living? He gives speeches to corporations, right? Dollars, uh. Okay, fine. Uh I'm a magician. I do magic tricks. Stupid, dumb, moronic magic tricks. Are you happy? Oh, what could I see one? Okay, fine. Fine. Now man, we've never met before, is that correct? Or do you have a hundred dollar bill? No. Check your bra. Hi, may I see that please? Thank you very much. Whoa, where did it go? What time is it, young lady? Oh, I don't know my what? Oh it's it's gone! I believe this belongs to you. No! And I'm sorry it's wet. Let's dry it off! With this human household scarf. Now, I believe you have something that belongs to me. Are you happy now? Dave 01:17:42 So of course what you don't get in this famous visual medium of podcast is the lethargic presentation of all those things which is Muddy in the bra, turning the muddy into flames, retrieving a watch from a cup of tea in a microwave, drying the watch off with a scarf that comes out of nowhere, and then finally removing the scarf to show that Beth is holding his bunny. All that happens in there. David Cross, I think, has gone through a lot of phases in his career, from Mr. Show being a highlight, and then he went into his cranky period. Where we almost lost into like Bill Maher sort of hit of despair, but he managed to crawl out of that. I think he's normalized again now. Tara 01:18:25 Ish. Dave 01:18:26 Uh-ish, yes, but you know, let's small miracles. Tara 01:18:28 Sure. Mm-hmm. Sarah 01:18:29 There's only so much Joan of Arcadia can do. Tara 01:18:31 That's true. Sarah 01:18:31 Give her a break. Dave 01:18:32 This is still very much in his Mr. Show mode, and the way that he just sort of drives through this fifty-five second magic trick while being just the dumpiest 90s stoner loser kind of guy and then right at the end he just storms out are you happy now I forgot about the scene we were doing a rewatch and it made me laugh out loud, so I made a note of it. I wanted to bring it to you as a great exemplar of somebody who is just completely broken at the base level. And the, of course, twist on this is that this performance turns the tables where Beth, for some reason, is really horny for magic tricks, and that is sets up the rest of the episode. But what I'm concerned about here is just the delivery, the broken delivery of this magic trick. All right, that's all I have to say about it. Tara 01:19:23 Thank you, Dave. Obviously, this is more in my wheelhouse, so Sarah, why don't you go first Sarah 01:19:28 The flat, aggrieved tone of the magician who, like, usually nobody wants to hear it, but it is clear Based on Steven Root's gleeful, like barely contained reactions, which are an amazing contrast that like he makes this dude, Theo, run through them all the time. Tara 01:19:49 Mm-hmm. Sarah 01:19:49 Like Yay! I mean, so funny. Like, I loved David Cross's delivery, but also the contrast with everyone else's baffling delight at magic at like corporate magic Tara 01:20:02 Mm-hmm. Sarah 01:20:03 Is just really weird and surreal and very funny. It is timed perfectly. Like the manner of the way he is rushing through it so that he can stomp out is flawless. And there is a small bunny. Tara 01:20:18 Yeah. Sarah 01:20:18 No notes. Perfect. Absolutely perfect. Tara. Tara 01:20:23 I have always loved scenes where characters dance furiously for comedic effect. Dave 01:20:28 Yeah Tara 01:20:29 And doing close-up magic furiously for comedic effect feels like it's in the same neighborhood, which is what we get here The writing on the stage pattern is hilariously banal so that when he's rushing through it, it makes it even funnier that like there's no showmanship to it. He's just like s doing this un truly under visible duress. David Cross is not for everyone, but this is right in his range, particularly the are you happy now? It's like such a perfect button on it as he stomps out. It is uh From start to finish of this scene, I mean Dave only clipped from the mu the magic part, really, but it's a it's a perfect ninety seconds of TV comedy and a great example of what you can do with Sarah 01:21:10 It is Tara 01:21:14 multicam that you can't with other kinds of of scream screen entertainment Dave 01:21:18 Right. All right, let's put this to the official vote. Sarah D Bunting, what say you for the tiny broken human cannon? Sarah 01:21:25 Presto, yes, I loved it. Tara 01:21:28 Of course, yes. Dave 01:21:29 Alright, so Theo does magic from News of Radio Season 2, Episode 16: Houses of the Holy. You are hereby inducted into the extra hot, great, tiny, broken human cannon. Clip 01:21:42 Americans love a winner. Yup and we'll not tolerate a loser. Nope Dave 01:21:47 It is time to discover who are our not quite winners and not quite losers of the week. I will go first. Not quite winner is Interview with a Vampire. It's been renewed for For season four is getting another rebrand. Season four will be known as Queen of the Damned, which Fine. Hey, it worked for Vampire Lestat. Although sad Vampire Lestat is over because obviously this is going to be the best season of that show, the rock star season. Tara 01:22:12 For sure. Dave 01:22:13 I gotta say though, the finale of Vampire Lessat was so off model for the season, and really to me, having read no Anne Rice whatsoever, that episode is everything bad I imagined Anne Rice writing would be. Tara 01:22:27 Yeah. Dave 01:22:27 Do you know what I mean? Tara 01:22:28 Yep Dave 01:22:29 It was so indulgent and it was all cuffs and collars. Tara 01:22:34 It's true. Dave 01:22:34 It was just like lace on top of lace on top of lace. It was just like, ugh, come on, get to the fucking point. Tara 01:22:40 Yeah, it was the one episode they held back from critics and it felt like while we were watching it, like, oh, that's why. My mind really wandered. Dave 01:22:48 Yeah, it was Five minutes of episode and an hour long bag. Tara 01:22:51 Mm-hmm. Dave 01:22:52 It was real, real bad. But the rest of the season was great. Tara 01:22:56 Yeah Dave 01:22:56 So don't let that ruin the rest of the season for you if you haven't watched it. And not quite loser of the week is Tracy Morgan's sitcom has been canceled. Sad for all you rise and fall. Wait, no, wait, there's another one? Tara 01:23:11 Yeah. Dave 01:23:11 Wait, it was called crutch and it was on Paramount Plus. Oh, okay, then in that case, nobody cares. Sarah 01:23:17 Do you say so? Tara 01:23:19 Yeah. It's it's crazy when this came up and I was like, this it's my job to know every show on television, and this was Dave 01:23:26 Yeah. Tara 01:23:27 the first time I've ever heard of this in my fucking life. Dave 01:23:30 Seriously. Tara 01:23:31 Anyway, not a surprise that it was canceled, I guess Dave 01:23:31 Yeah. All right, Sarah, not quite winner of the week Sarah 01:23:35 Speaking of things that you've never heard of in your fucking life, except when I mention docuseries that are on it, MGM+! Tara 01:23:42 Mm-hmm. Uh huh. Sarah 01:23:44 It has Gotten Anachendrick's Internationally Financed Thriller Series, which is called Embassy IMpretty excited for that. I think she is has gifts as a director based on what I've seen and I'm looking forward to it. Hopefully that gets some people to believe in MGM+, which I think is really this like tooth fairy streamer to a lot of people that they're like, that's not a thing. It's your mom. Not quite Loser of the Week and it does feel like that's uh inadequate, but uh Jared Leto uh sexual assault allegations against him have resurfaced. Yet again in a BBC documentary. I flew to England to have a look at it and I will be contemplating that. Ugh. For bestevidence. fyi, uh, if you want to check that out. But um yes, he officially denies this predictably as he has done in the past, so allegedly Tara 01:24:42 Oh oh no, they didn't did a post about his denial and illustrated it with a reaction meme that was holding a m c a microphone into a garbage can with like any further comments. It really made me laugh. And I immediately saved it. My not quite winner of the week is Dairy Girls creator Lisa McGee, who is selling her first US show called Wildwood, as in New Jersey, to FX. Sarah 01:25:10 Uh huh Tara 01:25:11 The last show she did, I don't even remember what it was called because it was really boring. Dave 01:25:15 Hey, got directions to Belfast? Tara 01:25:17 That's it. Dave 01:25:18 I'm in Hell Tara 01:25:19 Something about Belfast. Dave 01:25:20 How to how to get the heaven from Belfast. Tara 01:25:21 Um That's it. Dave 01:25:24 No toll roads. Sarah 01:25:25 Mm-hmm. Tara 01:25:26 Yeah. It was afflicted with severe Netflix itis in that it did not trust its audience to pay attention. Dave 01:25:31 Yeah. Tara 01:25:34 at all and consequently I didn't and checked out. But I'm still hopeful for this because Dairy Girls was so good. Um so hopefully that will be as well Not quite loser of the week, and we'll link this in the show notes as well. Tyra Banks going viral for her insane bangs in episode two of Project Runway season twenty-two, which I have not been watching, but they are loco. They seem to start like most of the way at the back of her head. I don't even understand what I'm looking at. We'll link it in the show notes so that you can see because they are crazy. Sarah 01:26:08 Oh my god, yeah. I mean I know she has a big forehead and they've got a lot of distance to cover, but this and also there's like a colour issue, like the sort of timbre of the color. It really looks like a Venetian blind company might have been engaged to install this Tara 01:26:23 Mm-hmm. Sarah 01:26:26 situation and uh should be fired. Tara 01:26:27 No, this truly is like a cool two feet of bang It's it doesn't make physical sense what we're what you're looking at. Sarah 01:26:31 Mm-hmm. No. Tara 01:26:35 Anyway, good luck to her, I guess. Dave 01:26:38 All right, stay tuned for Kim Reeds. The most awesome thing I watched on TV last month. If you are into statistics, this is the second episode that Kim has covered called The Stranger. Kim 01:26:55 Hi, this is Kim Reed and welcome to the most awesome thing I saw on TV last month. So last month I watched season four episode nineteen of Little House on the Prairie called The Stranger. So we opened Downton Abbey, like seriously, I think it might be the same house they use for the exteriors of Downton Abbey. And a young boy walks into his father's office and says he's been expelled from school. And while it looks real British, none of these people have a British accent, so I guess we're in regular old America. The kid hands his dad a letter explaining what happened, and his dad reads it and then just sends the kid to his room, and the kid looks very confused. So the kid is hanging out with his maid and his grandma comes in, and the kid totally admits that he's been shoplifting from all the shops in town, and he also stole an exam so he could memorize the answers. And the grandma's basically like, I mean, that doesn't sound bad, but it kind of does sound bad. And she thinks she can get young Peter, which is the boy's name, back into school by writing a letter to the headmaster. The father comes in and says he never liked that school anyway, but he wants Peter to experience farming, so he's gonna send Peter to live with his cousin in Minnesota. Who could his cousin possibly be? mister Edwards? mister Hansen? Doc Baker? Peter's father says he wants Peter to find a sense of values. So what better place than in the vicinity of the Ingalls family, am I right? So finally we're in Walnut Grove. That was such a weird opening. As you probably guessed, Peter has been sent to live with the Olsons because Nels is the aforementioned cousin. Peter and the Olsen family arrive at the mercantile, and Willie shows Peter the outhouse, and Peter is disgusted, which he should be. Outhouses are disgusting. I'm old enough that I actually had to use one when I used to take swimming lessons in a private pool. Because understandably the lady who owned the house didn't want all the swimming lesson kids traipsing in and out of her house, and so we had an outhouse, and all I remember about it is that it was gross. Here's a turn of events. While the Olsons were gone to pick up Peter Charles ran the store. Nels introduces Peter to Pa, but Harriet brushes him up the stairs so he can get changed, and Nels tells Pa all their family's business about how Peter got in trouble at school and his father wants him to learn some values, and Pa thinks that sounds good. But Nels points out that he hasn't even been able to teach his own kids any values due to Harriet's interference. And like, sure, Harriet's a snob and all, but take some responsibility, Nels Harriet helps Peter unpack and she holds up a velvet suit that looks like something from the Sears catalog circa nineteen eighty one and says that Peter can wear it to church tomorrow. She tells Peter he can change and go out and play, but he says he's tired, and then we get a Nels Olson lore drop because Peter can't sleep, and Nell says he went to live with his aunt and uncle when he was about Peter's age because his mother had the sickness. Which could be any number of things, but I'm gonna pretend she turned into a zombie and it was hard, but Nell's adjusted to it. The living with relatives part, not the zombie part I made up myself. So the next day everybody walks out of church and Peter comes down the steps wearing his green velvet suit with knee pants, white stockings and a white lace collar, like he honestly might be cosplaying little Lord Fauntleroy so Some of the local kids harass him and throw mud on him, as you do, and Harriet notices and chases them off. So then Nels finds Peter in his room where he's staring at himself in the mirror, and Peter says he wants to go home, and Nels says he can't. And then Nels defends the kids who threw mud on Peter. Like, I get that you're trying to toughen Peter up and everything, but you don't have to tell Peter that those boys are a good lot and he'll get to know them better. Peter declares that he's going on a hunger strike until they send him home, and I kind of don't blame him. Then there's this interlude where Harriet buys Willie a velvet suit and Willie puts it on and picks a fight with those same kids who bullied Peter, like Do those kids just hang out on the mean streets of Walnut Grove, waiting for a kid in a velvet suit to stroll by? But the end result is Willie's velvet suit gets ripped to shreds, so I guess Willie does have at least one brain cell. Then we find out Harriet wrote to Peter's father to say that Peter wanted to come home, and Nell shows her the response. Harriet reads it and is upset that this guy thinks she can't teach Peter, and then she yells out, He doesn't even want his own son at home and of course Peter overhears. So Nels reassures Peter that they do want him, but Peter thinks they're lying. And when Nels goes back inside, Peter takes a chair and just starts smashing out the mercantile windows. And somehow Pa gets there to stop him before Nell's can get outside. Like, was Pa also wandering the mean streets of Walnut Grove? So Nell sends Peter to his room and then confesses to Charles that he doesn't know what he's doing with Peter. Nell says Peter's supposed to be learning hard work and farming, and Pa says he could use some help clearing a field, and he offers to let Peter sleep in their barn loft and work on the farm to help repay Nels for the window. Nobody sees a problem with the fact that Peter's like 10 years old tops and he didn't agree to this anyway. The next day Peter arrives at the Ingalls family for his forced labor and he meets everybody. So Pa shows Peter the left and says he can sleep in the hay and keep his clothes in a box and tells him to get his work clothes on so they can get right to work. And Peter says, What if I don't? And Pa says, then we'll bear your bottom and give you a whooping, which even in the seventies, that seems like a little much. Pa has Peter cutting up trees for firewood, I guess, and Peter refuses Pa's offer of gloves, and then Pa says it's lunchtime, but Peter says he's not hungry, even though I have to say that fried chicken that Pa has for lunch looks pretty good And Pa says if Peter's not gonna eat, he may as well get back to work, and Pa's just cracking himself up. Peter can't believe he's expected to work, but he grabs the axe and goes to town. So that night he's soaking his blistered hands, and Pa offers him some linemen or something, but Peter refuses, and Pa tells him he has to come to dinner and sit at the table from the blessing until he's excused, whether he eats or not. And Peter just wrinkles his nose. At the table the family's very careful to talk about how much work Peter did today and how he put in a good day's work And apparently this is the secret code to get Peter to actually eat, 'cause he digs right in, and then he drinks a full glass of milk in one go. And then for some reason we have to watch Carrie do the same thing. Like, I don't know who thought this was comic relief, but it's just gross, and no one likes Carrie, sorry. So some days later, Peter's planting seeds with Mary and Laura, and it seems like they're getting along just great. When they're done for the day, Pa says they're going swimming, but Peter seems kind of uncomfortable to go swimming in his underwear with the rest of them. The men's underwear is a full union suit, so it's not like they're showing much skin. I thought Peter was worried about being seen in his underwear, but it turns out he can't swim, and Pa says he'll teach him. And by teach 'em he means just throw 'em in the water. For the youths among you, this was actually how people were taught to swim sometimes. Like I definitely have cousins who were thrown in the lake and you had to sink or swim. I guess no one sank, 'cause they're all still around unless there's one nobody told me about. Anyway, it works for Peter too. He actually figures out how to swim and then Pa points out the water's only two feet deep anyway, so I guess it wasn't as dangerous as it seemed. That night Pa takes Peter out to the barn for bedtime, and Peter says he had a lot of fun, and then he calls him Uncle Charles, and he gives him a big hug, and Pa's holding back tears the way only Pa can. So then Pa and Peter show up at the mercantile, and Harriet fusses over Peter's hands because he has calluses and blisters. And then Nels pulls out his ledger and he shows Peter that he's earned enough money to pay off the debt for the windows and he even gets forty three cents of his very own Peter wants to stay with the Ingalls family some more, like who wouldn't? They seem to have a lot more fun than the Olsons, although I would ask if I could have like a pillow and a blanket maybe I think Nels wants to go hang out with the Ingalls family, frankly. Once they leave, Harriet sniffs that Peter's father sent Peter them to take care of, and Nels says that the Ingalls family has more to offer, and Harriet looks disturbed So then we get a montage of Peter working around the farm, learning how to milk a cow, using a cross cut saw with Pa, and Pa even lets him take the reins and drive the horses. That night Pa even admits to Ma that he's gonna miss Peter, and Ma says Pa did a good job teaching Peter country values. So the next morning Peter's father, whose name is Olaf, shows up at the Olsen residence with Peter's grandma. Nell says Peter wanted to show them something. He's supposed to take him out to the lake, and he also confesses that Peter's been staying with the Ingalls family Like he couldn't have put that in one of his many letters they were sending back and forth. So then the wagon pulls up and Peter waves to everyone and then jumps into the water and swims across the lake And then he runs excitedly to his father, and his father's just like, Well, I hear you've been working at the angle, so go get your stuff and Peter looks super disappointed and runs off. And once he's gone, the dad's like, What did I do? And Nell's in power, like he was super excited to show you that he learned how to swim, and you didn't even say anything. Which, to be fair, Nels could have clued him in on that, like, hey, Peter's super excited to show you how he learned to swim, so that's why we're going to the lake. I don't know why it had to be a surprise Anyway, Peter's dad's like, I didn't even know he didn't know how to swim before. And Pa's like, yeah, there's a lot you didn't know, which calm your jets, Pa. You've known this kid for like a month. Anyway, Pa says Peter was acting out because he just wants his father's attention, and he wonders if Peter's dad ever talked to Peter at all before Feel like Pa's overstepping a little bit, like you forget yourself, sir. Anyway, Peter's dad does seem to take it in, and he asks if he can go to the Ingalls place to see Peter. And once he gets there he climbs up into the hay loft and I don't know what the Zactor's deal is, but he mumbles and whispers all of his lines. But anyway, he tells Peter he hasn't been a very good father to him, but he'd like that to change, and then Peter gets up and gives him a big hug and tells him he loves him And Peter's dad breaks down sobbing, like, My dude, what has been done to you? Maybe Peter's dad should spend a month on the Ingalls farm, chopping wood and swimming in his underwear. Apparently that cures what ails ya Then Peter and his dad say they love each other and it's a real breakthrough for everybody. So then Peter and his father come back to the house and announce that they're gonna stay on for a few days and sleep in the loft. And pal's like, that sounds great. And then the grandma's like, But you have a stockholders meeting on Thursday. And Mr. Peter's dad is like, My son and I won't make it. And they decide to go swimming. And everyone laughs and laughs, except the grandma who's like, Is anyone gonna take me to the train station? So Peter and his dad head down to the swimming hole and they might have drowned because we never saw them again. And that was the most awesome thing I saw on TV last month. Clip 01:36:19 Uh Tara 01:36:19 We are considering a question that Damon Silver posted on Discord that we stole for an extra credit, and that question is this. Which discarded T V sibling, for example, Chuck from Happy Days, had the most potential and how would the show have gone differently if the creators had kept that character around? And I added, show your work with three possible episode log lines. So that's what we're doing. I will go first with Surprise the King of Queens. In some very early episodes, Carrie has a younger sister who is named Sarah without an age. the evil kind of Sarah. Played by Lisa Reefell. I assume they got rid of her because it would be harder to sell the, you know, Arthur is ungovernable storylines if there were another sibling that Carrie could occasionally be like, Alright, you take him before I murder him. Perhaps that's why she was written out, but w whatever. Here are the um ideas I had for if Lisa had stayed. Number one Carrie's anxious on vacation with Doug, thinking about Arthur disrupting Sarah's life, but when she calls for updates, Sarah and Arthur are always having the time of their lives, which causes Carrie to reconsider how she relates to him. Number two, Sarah gets jealous that Carrie makes it out for every girl's night with Kelly, but always seems too busy to hang out with Sarah and her friends. And number three, when Sarah starts dating one of Doug's fellow drivers, he is torn about whether to tell Carrie how that driver has been talking about Sarah at work unflatteringly. And those were my ideas for Sarah from King of Queens. Sarah from Not King of Queens, why don't you go next? Sarah 01:37:58 With an H and from Kings County, but uh sometimes really close is miles away. This was a tough one for me because the most often cited examples of Chuck Cunningham syndrome are from sitcoms that I just didn't watch. So I had to do some Googling around, and I was reminded that Tommy Gavin, Dennis Leary's character on Rescue Me, had a handful of siblings that we never saw. One we saw a bunch of times, another one who kind of subsided, and then two brothers, NYPD detective Johnny, Dean Winters curring character who got killed off later in the series run, and Timo, James Badgdale, also a cop, who says he's going to the Bahamas after the Gavin's mother's funeral and then apparently just stays there forever. I fell off this show after some behind the scenes infighting led to some out there plotting decisions, i. e. , they assassinated the Jerry Riley character like literally and figuratively. I don't really remember it terribly well from what I did watch. Definitely was a relic of the early to mid-aughts in terms of a centering 9-11 as a preoccupation of the show and its characters. and be scabrus anti-heroics for their own sake. The episode I skimmed to confirm my ideas here. bears out the idea that hasn't aged very well, and it's not particularly onerous in terms of show consistency that an Irish American firefighter protagonist would have several siblings we never see. That's just life, but it feels to me like James Badgdale is maybe underappreciated or used inadequately by the culture. Like I know he works all the time, but it's on like Yellowstoniana shit, so Oh is he? Tara 01:39:40 Isn't he coming to Law and Order next season? I thought he was he was a series regular. Yeah, let me look it up. Sarah 01:39:46 I mean I'm not I'm not sure that means that he's appreciated by the culture. Tara 01:39:50 Well, that's true, but Yeah, he's replacing Reed Scott starting next season. Sarah 01:39:51 It's just that they're out of people. I don't know I don't know. Tara 01:39:57 So at least he's gonna be making a network drama paycheck. Sarah 01:39:57 Oh Tara 01:40:00 That's not bad. Sarah 01:40:01 Yeah, I mean he like again, he works. It just doesn't happen to be stuff that I've seen him in and I feel like he could have really been a prestige guy. And still could be, uh, and was underused in Rescue Me. The character is much younger than Tommy and Johnny, Gavin, and he's not a firefighter. I think they could have leveraged that for slightly more interesting takes on the central conceit. Tommy is haunted by the ghost of his cousin and best friend who died in the towers. Tommy is now boning said cousin's widow. I didn't really go with log lines because every episode had like three or four plots going on Rescue Me, but it's more like substitutions for B or C plots the show actually used. Because Tommy and Johnny are often at odds with each other because of the whole police department versus firefighters thing, Timo's choice to go and wipe it in the early thing. PD is paralleled with a probationary firefighter struggles at the house because they're kind of only there because a beloved older sibling did it before them. A second idea was that Timo's comparative youth could mean he's more open to gender parity in the city services, so Tommy's house is constant dismissing of and harassing Diane Farr's Laura Could read to him as more fucked up than hilarious, which is how the show wants you to see it. Not that the show would buy into such a non-misogynist tack. Let's be real, but it might have been a more interesting take than Laura having to glue Chief Riley to her toilet seat as revenge for him taking monster dumps. In her dedicated bathroom. I can't believe I sat through that whole episode again. Kill me. And the third idea was that after their mother's death, their father Michael, Charles Sterning. definitely starts to decompensate and that could have been a compelling mini arc about aging parents and which siblings end up designated to do what or exempted from doing what depending on their sibling order and gender Rescue Me sort of had a lot of ways that it could have gone and then inevitably just chose to spend it thinking about Tommy Gavin's dick, so What could have been probably couldn't have been, but that was my that was my idea. Return Timo. Dave. Dave 01:42:11 Well I did do Chuck Cunningham from Happy Days because I couldn't get out of my head. So here are the three episodes. Episode number one, it's up there. When Marion's old aunt Ellen dies, the family returns home and decides to retrieve the old family albums from the attic where they discover Chuck has been living up there since his last appearance on the show years ago. Howard has no memory of him and threatens him with a shotgun. The fawn steps in and coolly hits the hermit Chuck like a Jukebox, which knocks him out. They dump him in the woods. This one's for Sarah. This is called The Chunninghamling. A basketball scholarship mix-up sends a second, entirely different Chuck Cunningham to the house. He's got the same name, he's got a similar jib, of course he also plays basketball, and tends to vanish without a trace. The Cunninghamps can't tell if he's an imposter, a long lost cousin, or simply a Mystical feature of the Cunningham house that regenerates every few seasons. The episode ends with both Chucks leaving to go shoot some hoops, never returning to the show, nor are mentioned again. And our last episode, after a hilarious basketball tourney application mix-up, Chuck joins the army, is sent to Korea, and killed in action right away. His coffin is marked return to sender as the Cunninghams have no idea who that is. That was Chuck Dies in Korea. Tara 01:43:37 Oh my god. Sarah 01:43:37 Oh, Happy Days are here again Dave 01:43:41 Well, guys, that is it for another episode of Extra Extra Hot Great We let the commercials of July 20th, 1986, wash over us and tell us what to buy before answering your burning ask EHG questions like How are you at throwing bread around and what else killed people on This Is Us? The greatest trick Dave ever pulled was getting Theo from News Radio into the tiny broken human cannon We celebrated those who weren't quite the best and worst of the week and wrapped it all up with how lost sibling characters could have changed television. Next up is Sterly Point with Carrie Race on EHG Prime. Remember. Clip 01:44:23 We're listening. Dave 01:44:26 I am David T. Cole, and on behalf of Tario Reno and Sarah D. Tara 01:44:30 Are you happy now? Dave 01:44:32 Bunting. Sarah 01:44:33 You smooth it on. Dave 01:44:34 Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time right here on Extra, Extra Hot Ray, he says thankfully, as his voice gives out after two hours. Clip 01:44:55 Well no you got This is Extra Hot Great Minis. Today's topic is It Came From 1973. Today's extra credit topic comes from our old friend at Radishcake on Twitter who asks, A la Westworld, please propose any other movie from 1972 to make into a show lots of amazing ones to choose from. I agree, this is a really fun topic. And since I myself came from 1973, dun dun dun I will start us off with what I think is a no-brainer, which was 1973's best picture, The Sting. It's very processy about grifting and has a lot of great music and very cute young Robert Redford and Paul Newman. Eve. Um I came from nineteen seventy one, so I actually have some vague memories from nineteen seventy three. At least I believe that I do. However, I was not old enough to have seen what I consider to be one of the uh greatest movies of nineteen seventy three, Coffee. Starring Pam Guerrero as a vengeful nurse who takes it upon herself to kill the drug dealers who got her uh younger sister addicted to drugs. I think that this would be a great, great series, especially because I don't want to give anything away because you guys should really watch the movie, which I recently watched for reasons unrelated to this podcast, and um In many ways there are lots of parts that are problematic and you sort of went out, but in many ways in terms of action it holds up. You don't get bored the way you might for a lot of movies from that era. Um so I don't want to give away plot points, but there are many twists and turns that uh definitely would work on a show, you know, an eight to ten episode show. There's a ton of violence. Uh you get to do a lot of cool stuff as a lady. I would love to see Gabrielle Union in this role and um I think that it's the sort of thing that if someone's not already working on, they should consider it. Should I go next All right. Honorable mention by the way to another nineteen seventy three movie, The Exorcist, which also was made into a TV show this year Not that anyone I know is watching, but it does exist. My pick is Robin Hood, the animated movie from Disney. Disney Jr. is pretty good at mining TV series out of its classic animated movies, for example, Jake and the Neverland Pirates. But I don't know, for some reason I think the time is right to get children on board with a hero who sticks up for the downtrodden and is a vigilante for the socialist redistribution of wealth. Dave I found a movie in nineteen seventy-three And I'm gonna guess it was a grindhouse film or something like that. It was called The Candy Snatchers. But here's the thing, it's about a it's about this group of people that kidnap kidnap a girl named Candy. And then you know I guess ransom or something like that. So I'm proposing an anthology series of things things that happen to ladies with uh noun names. And these are the episodes of uh lady noun name show. Losing faith April showers, playing Piper, the Rose Sniffers, the Lily Sniffers, and the Violet Sniffers, that's the sniffing arc. Damning River, and the uh season finale, Seeding Sky. Ooh. Wow.