Scrubbing Up For Scrubs

Dave: [0:12] This is the Extra Extra Hot Greeat Podcast, episode 394 from the February 28th, 2026 weekend. I am Brazilian mistress David T. Cole, and I'm here with 900th strike, Tara Ariano. And secret handshake, Laura Hampton. Laura: [0:35] And then jazz hands, if we have time. Dave: [0:47] Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Extra, Extra Hot Great. Before we get into today's festivities, a little bit of site business here. As you know, Sarah is still out and we hope to have her back soon. But I just want to give a little update on the Drunk Dave episode. That's just sort of in a holding pattern until we know when Sarah's back because we want to have Sarah there. So once Sarah's back, then I can plan that out. And as soon as I know the date, I will let you know, because I know some people want to be on the call, watch it live, all that great stuff. So just want to let you know, it's still in the planning stages. We're just going to be in a little bit of a holding pattern. And then I will let you know when I know. Tara: [1:24] We thank you all for being here for another weekend and for your support, of course. And joining us, she is a physician assistant and our ER draft commissioner. It's Bezor Laura Hampton. Dave: [1:37] Hello. Welcome back. Laura: [1:39] Hi. Thank you. Tara: [1:40] We are here to talk about season 10 of Scrubs, 25 years after JD, Zach Braff, Turk, Donald Faison, and Elliot, Sarah Chalk, Started their internships at Sacred Heart Hospital. We check in to see what they're up to now. JD is a concierge doctor, making tons of money but bored and living an hour away in the suburbs. Turk is Sacred Heart's head of surgery, but known as Dr. Bummer to his students. And Elliot is beloved by the charge nurses who call her their beautiful queen. When one of JD's patients gets admitted despite what he thought was simple dehydration, It turns out Dr. Cox, John C. McGinley, has an important reason. And yes, it really has been 25 years since the series premiered. Look it up. The show was created by Bill Lawrence, although the showrunner on season 10 is Azeem Batra, a co-producer on the original run. The first two episodes aired on ABC February 25th. We got access to the first four, but we'll be careful about spoilers for unaired episodes. Let's do the Chen check-in. Laura, should our listeners watch Scrubs season 10? Laura: [2:47] Yes, but. Tara: [2:48] Okay, Dave. Dave: [2:50] I thought they did a pretty good job doing another season of Scrubs. So I will say yes. Tara: [2:55] I also felt like they didn't miss a step. It felt like the same show, other than the characters being older. So I would say if you watched the first run of Scrubs, you should watch this too. But now that we're in the spoiler zone, Laura, what's your butt? Dave: [3:08] Let's talk about your big butt. Laura: [3:11] Yes, please. I think it's basically what you said. I don't know how it would work for somebody who's coming new to the show. but I think for an old watcher, I thought it did a really good job. Dave: [3:24] That's fair. I think so. By the way, let's talk about your big butt is from Pee-wee's Big Adventure. I don't usually break that out just because. Laura: [3:30] I caught the reference. Okay, great. Tara is right here, Dave. Come on. Dave: [3:37] I know. Embarrassing. Scrubs Mark I was a little bit of a tough rewatch when we tried it about a year and a half ago. It is pretty dated. And this one feels to me like the spiritual continuation of that, but with a 2026 sensibility. So I think they've done the right mix. We're only a few episodes in, so we'll see how it progresses. But some of the ticks of the time are not there, which I think has improved its chances with the non-scrub watching audience. Tara: [4:10] Yeah, I mean, I think every show like this that has come back has to have a first episodes. It's like, wow, we sure can't make a lot of those jokes that we used to like clone high, et cetera. Dave: [4:20] Yeah. Tara: [4:20] And this one does that too in a less annoying way than I've seen in other, you know, comedies that have returned after a long break. Dave: [4:28] And all these comedies have to have one person that's really into TikTok or is an influencer or something like that. Like, I think that is 100% across the board that must happen. But other than that, yeah, it was a pretty good refresh. Tara: [4:41] So let's back up just a little bit. Laura, what was your feeling about the original run of the show? And you can exclude season nine, if you want, since the season 10 writers apparently have done that also. Laura: [4:52] Yeah, I only made it through a handful of episodes of season nine before quitting on that one. I'm kind of glad that they didn't include that as part of it. Overall, really positive feelings about the series. I did do a rewatch a few years ago, and I was actually, I agree with you, I think there were plenty of things that were very dated, but it held up a little bit better than I thought it would, save a few episodes. it's always so hard with a rewatch though to know if you're really giving it that critical eye or if you're just taking everything you were you had when you were originally watching it with you but I actually think that kind of helps in this case with the new episodes because there are several things where when there was a callback it immediately drew me back in yeah. Tara: [5:39] Even in the first episode when Turk gets a sense that JD is on the property the music cue was even the same as they used to use in the. Laura: [5:48] Original run. Tara: [5:50] And then that really took me back, too. Laura: [5:52] Yeah. Tara: [5:53] What I would say is there's definitely a stark difference between this versus the Frasier revival, where there was one person who had written one episode, and other than that, none of the same people had come back behind the camera. Dave: [6:07] Yeah. How many of the Frasier people just aged out of the industry, though? Most of them are probably retired and are like, I'm good. Tara: [6:14] Well, I think we talked about this at the time, But it probably was any who are still in the industry, and some of them are not that old. I mean, the show was on forever, so some of them at the end were probably still... working, but they might not have wanted to come back to work on a streaming show because financially it doesn't make as much sense, whereas this is network show to network show. It's an easier ask, I would think. So one of the ways season 10 shows it's aware of its place in the current pop culture landscape is by opening with a very The Pit emergency that then glides into a classic JD fantasy sequence, which I thought was a very smart way to bridge those two current conceptions of how to do medicine on a TV show. Laura, what did you think of that? sort of fake out intro. Laura: [6:57] I enjoyed it. I think it's hard to not acknowledge the pit at this point. And I mean, and funny enough, I think what the pit is kind of currently doing on the dramatic side of kind of making us aware of what healthcare providers are going through. I think that's something that Scrubs honestly did extremely well in its original run. And I think we're seeing signs of that, at least from the first few episodes, kind of what the landscape is and how it's changed since the, my goodness, 25 years. since the show was originally on. Dave: [7:29] So Laura, if the pit is good with those frenetic moments where everything is going wrong and everybody's jammed up and there's like a mass casualty event and everything is happening at once, is Scrubs then sort of the daily version of that where they're both doing a good job capturing the moment? Laura: [7:46] I would agree with that. And I think something that they're still doing with this one, but especially with the old one, is kind of capturing just how dark your humor is when you work in medicine and kind of how necessary that becomes if you want to remain sane while working in such an environment like that. Tara: [8:04] They also got right to here's how you work around insurance company fuckery. Like, I feel like in the original run, it took a little while before they got to that part of medicine. And here it's like right in episode two, someone is rationing their pills because they can't afford a thousand dollars a month to pay for them. It showed that this version has different ambitions, or it knows the audience knows more about what's going on. So I thought that was interesting, too. GD becoming a concierge doctor a la Royal Pains. We miss him. Laura: [8:35] I was wondering if that would come up. Tara: [8:36] Thank you. Dave: [8:37] Isn't that also coming back, or that's fizzling? Tara: [8:39] No, I don't think so. Dave: [8:40] Oh, okay. I thought they were going to redo it. Tara: [8:42] I don't think so. Dave: [8:43] Am I imagining that? Okay, sorry. Sorry. Sorry, Tara. Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Tara. Tara: [8:49] Anyway, that didn't make sense to me until we find out he and Elliot are divorced. And them being divorced made sense to me. Dave, what did you think about that? Dave: [8:56] Absolutely. Like, sometimes that really bothers me. It kind of bothered me in Star Wars when Han Solo and Princess Leia were divorced, or whatever the space equivalent, space-vorced. Because I just kind of thought that that was going to be, that's the one, that's the one in Star Wars, that should always be there, right? That's the forever and ever. But this one made sense because those are two very annoying characters that the original show really always wanted it to be the will they, won't they hurry up and get, but they never really had great chemistry as actors in a romantic way. But just assuming, let's just say they did. When you get two very quirky and let's say it, annoying characters together, I don't think that's going to work out in a marriage. So I believe they could not coexist. I believe that this divorce made a lot of sense, but I'm worried they're just doing it to reset that relationship so they have something to work towards for this one. Laura: [9:49] That's exactly my worry. Tara: [9:50] Before I throw it to Laura for more, first of all, Dave, you are right. They did announce a Royal Pains revival last spring, so I apologize. But I'll also say to your point, I think to create tension and conflict, they had to break up a couple on the show. And if it had been Carla and Turk, it would have felt like Consola would lay up the doors. Dave: [10:10] Yeah, yeah. Tara: [10:11] You're right. Laura: [10:11] I would have scorched earth. Tara: [10:13] Yeah. Laura: [10:13] I agree. I think that they really don't make sense as a couple. And I get why they did it in the original run. And I was actually, I was really happy to see them split up. I think that's way more interesting than having them together with the caveat that as long as they don't try to make that the new will they, won't they for this series. Tara: [10:32] Totally. It is funny that Cox is around exactly long enough to confirm he is too angry to work with Gen Z interns. Dave: [10:41] Relatable. Tara: [10:42] Yeah. Laura, did you feel that the show dug itself too big a hole with the character of Dave alluded to her earlier, Sam, the medical influencer who is always creating content and relying on YouTube to teach her shit? Did they make her too unlikable to start with? Dave: [10:58] And follow-up question, would that even be allowed at the workplace? Laura: [11:02] It shouldn't be allowed at the workplace. Have I seen it happen? Yes. But it should not be allowed at the workplace. Yeah, she was probably my least favorite out of the new batch of interns. I'm hoping she kind of gets a little bit more fleshed out as time goes on. I think they did that, at least with the third and fourth episodes. I think you started to see more of some of the other interns that made them a little bit more realistic. So it's possible that'll happen with her. but I haven't really seen signs of it yet. Dave: [11:32] Yeah. And in the first episode, I mean, this was sort of part of the Scrubs' original formula, but when you first meet all the noobs, they're all like, here is my one trait that defines me. You've got the nervous British guy. You've got the overconfident jock sort of doctor. You've got the nervous Nellie. You've got the influencer and you've got sort of the upcoming star, surgical intern. Tara: [11:54] Yeah, Dashauna. Laura: [11:56] I appreciate that they didn't make any of them exact carbon copies of the original characters. That was one of the things that kind of did happen on the Don't Speak of It ninth season of the show. And I think that was part of its, well, a portion of its downfall. So they could all kind of have characteristics that you can see how they tie to some of the other characters, but none is exactly the same, which I appreciate. Dave: [12:20] What about who's not going to be there all the time? Obviously, in the first episode, Cox is passing the torch to JD as chief of medicine. Carla's not a regular. She's a recurring guest, right? Tara: [12:33] I think she's in every episode. Dave: [12:34] I don't think she, she wasn't in the second one, was she? They had the desk clerks there all the time. Tara: [12:38] Oh, right. The new charge nurses who love Elliot. Dave: [12:41] Yeah. I believe I read that Cox and Carla are both reoccurring guest stars. Tara: [12:45] Well, they also are going to bring back Neil Flynn, who played the janitor, and Kristen Miller, who played Jordan. And is also Mrs. Bill Lawrence, so it's required that she be there. Laura: [12:56] Yeah, of course. Dave: [12:56] Yeah, let's find out what face she's got this time. Laura: [12:59] Right? Dave: [13:00] I don't mind Carla not being there as much because not because the character, but just because she was basically the straight man of the core four in the first one. So if you have to like remove somebody from that dynamic, that is the one that will do be least destructive to the tone of the show. I like Carla, the character. I will miss Dr. Cox being there all the time because he had a very unique energy for that show. I do love his insults. Some of the insults, as we were talking about before, don't age very well. But the ones that do are still quite funny. Tara: [13:30] Laura, you were nodding. You're going to miss Dr. Cox as well. Laura: [13:33] Yes, but I was actually surprised with because he only is in the first episode out of the four that we got. And I was actually a little surprised by episodes three and four. I didn't miss him as much as I thought I would. I'm very curious when he'll come back and what exactly that'll be. and if there is anything more behind why he's leaving the hospital as opposed to just kind of stepping down into more of just a plain doctor role. Tara: [14:00] Well, if Jordan's coming back, I assume, you know, we'll see more of him too. But if you're missing John C. McGinley as a series regular, he's over on Bill Lawrence's next show, Rooster, on HBO, which we'll be talking about in a couple of weeks on the main show. Dave: [14:15] Perhaps that is why. Tara: [14:16] He will be there. Dave: [14:17] And then the new character is Vanessa Bear, right? Tara: [14:20] Well, there's her and then there's Dr. Park played by Joel Kim Booster as well. So, Laura, what did you think about them? Laura: [14:27] Vanessa Bayer was kind of mixed for me. I like her, but I also feel like she's playing exactly the same character in everything she's in. And that seemed to get worse throughout the episodes. Like just more and more quirks on top of quirks. I felt like we were going back to her a little too much in turns instead. Dr. Park I love, though. You need to have somebody who is be a rival against JD, especially if we don't have that janitor role. And I think that was, I think it's a wise decision to not replicate that at least initially. So it's fun to have somebody who hates him because frankly, he is, he can be an extremely hateable character. Tara: [15:07] Yep. Dave: [15:08] Yeah. I like Park. He's a, he's a good foil and it's nice to have somebody who is just supremely confident and can back it up as opposed to sort of like handsome doctor who, a handsome doctor intern who was having some troubles in this first couple episodes. So the Vanessa Bear character is replacing Ted. The actor passed away from the first run. Tara: [15:30] Yeah, I just thought she was some kind of administrator, but maybe she's like the head of HR. Dave: [15:34] Okay, he was more like a litigator. But they sort of have that same safeguard, the hospital role. And we were talking about most things aren't one-to-one, but I think that character kind of was. It's like, you know, here is a collection of quirks in a human bag. And if you use them judiciously, then you can get away with that. And I think they hit the right balance with Ted. So we'll see what they do here with the new version of that. I kind of feel like that character arc is going to be that she will sort of become a very sympathetic character. I just kind of feel that her tone will change. Something will happen as we go along. She won't be just the person that is pointing at the rulebook or something like that. I just get this sense. I just want to put it out there in case I'm right, but I get that is the trajectory for her. Tara: [16:20] I can really take or leave Vanessa Bayer and leave is fine. I mean, I think she's very one note. Dave: [16:26] What is the last thing she was in that would have seen? because when you say she plays the same thing over and over again, my brain went, yes, you're right, but I couldn't place where. Tara: [16:32] Well, she was the other energy vampire in what we do in the shadows. Dave: [16:37] That's right. But I think there's something else between those two things. Laura: [16:40] I recently saw her on Brooklyn Nine-Nine rewatch was where I had seen it most recently. It's almost exactly the same character. Dave: [16:48] That's probably it because we did the rewatch recently. Yeah. Okay. Thank you, Laura. Tara: [16:52] Yep. I think that's it. And Joel Kimbooster is Dr. Park. Great. No notes. He's so self-assured right out of the gate. I love him. Love his comedy. Dave: [17:01] He had a great sort of character moment where JD sort of just fucked up the budget. He was promising people things he shouldn't have. And he's like just orchestrating like this is going to happen now and this person's going to mean they're going to be mad at you. And then he presents the binder at the end, which is like, you know, you might want to look at the budget, which... would never happen in the real world that you would have a chief of medicine that didn't have the budget talk before he put his ass in the seat. Of course, the whole thing where the torch is passed to him seems sort of like Dr. Cox did it and the hospital didn't know about it until JD was in his office, which is okay, whatever, it's television. But I thought that was a very good scene to establish this rivalry that they will have. Tara: [17:42] Also, you know, if the hospital is in trouble or is always in a budget crunch, maybe don't have a banquet for someone's first day. Dave: [17:50] Yeah. Tara: [17:51] That's just a thought. Dave: [17:52] Caramel cake. Tara: [17:54] Yeah. Anyway, I think we all feel mostly pretty positive about grubber turning, which is more than we can say for a lot of these shows. So good job, everybody. Dave: [18:04] Although I have to say, there was a major Ice Cream Sunday continuity error in the first episode in the cafeteria. Laura: [18:10] Well, I'm mad I didn't catch that. Tara: [18:12] They also did borrow a scene straight out of the pit. But you know, if you're going to steal, steal from the best. Dave: [18:17] One last thing. When we see that opening pit homage and it was shot quite darkly, I thought, okay, they're doing some stylistic choice here. And then when we get out of the scene, it's going to be that bright scrubs lighting that we're used to. That never happens. The whole show is much dimmer. And I'm going to be honest with you. It's very superficial, but it really bothered me how dark this show was shot. It just felt off to me the whole way through. And again, who gives a shit, Dave? But it still bothered me. Tara: [18:49] Well, and as we discussed, I think it's probably to, you know, not highlight some people's new wrinkles that they didn't have 25 years ago. Dave: [18:57] Right. Not Donald Faison's new wrinkles. Tara: [18:58] No, he looks incredible, but Zach Braff, he's got some years on him. Laura: [19:02] Well, and they need to stop dressing him in cardigans, too. Like his entire wardrobe was Mr. Rogers. And I don't know why they were doing that. Tara: [19:09] Give him man a blazer. Laura: [19:11] Yes. Dave: [19:18] All right. So, Laura, on a scale of one to 10, how much do you enjoy this theme? Laura: [19:24] Oh, I'm going to say 20. Dave: [19:25] Okay, great. That's the right answer. Laura: [19:40] Hits different in person. Dave: [19:44] All right. It is Ask EHG. You ask questions. We're going to answer them. But first, we're going to turn the tables. We asked you a question last week. And who will be the judge? It is Tara. Tara, please deal with Ask Ask EHG. Tara: [20:00] Okay. Last week's question came to us from Radish Cake, who wrote, What's a pop culture fact that took you way too long to find out? bonus if we also didn't know and it's neat few runners up cocktail can says the high five as in the gesture was invented in 1977 that was crazy that's. Dave: [20:20] Crazy i did not know that that seems way too recent but. Tara: [20:23] I kind of get it yeah damon silver wrote jack black's mother judith love cohen was in labor with him while she helped rescue apollo 13 was. Dave: [20:32] That in the movie. Tara: [20:33] No i don't think so So Seekend first wrote that Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine were siblings, which I already knew, so I didn't count that one. But then had a follow up, which is Beatty's family's last name is actually spelled B-E-A-T-Y, but he added a T to reflect how it's pronounced. His mother's maiden name is MacLaine, M-A-C, capital L-E-A-N. But Shirley changed it to MacLaine the way we know it to be spelled when she went into showbiz. Didn't know that. But our winner is Meredith, who legitimately told me something that I was like, that can't be right, and looked it up. But Meredith was right. Rosanna, the song by Toto, was not about Rosanna Arquette, which I always thought it was, because apparently the band sometimes would say, oh, yeah, it is, because one of the members was dating her. Dave: [21:23] Oh. Tara: [21:23] But then in later years, they were like, no, it's not. It was just a name. Dave: [21:27] Oh. Tara: [21:27] Thank you, Meredith. Now I won't repeat that misinformation. So get at Dave to get your sticker. Dave: [21:34] Yep. DM me in Discord. I need your mailing address and I will send that out in some point in the future. All right. Let's get to your questions for us this week. First one is from Jovial Gent, who asks, who is the coolest mom in television? Let's start with Tara. Tara: [21:50] Unfortunately, I think it is Roseanne Connor. And I hate to say it, It brings me no pleasure, but that is my very Gen X answer. Dave: [21:58] Are you talking about macadamia, not magnate? Tara: [22:02] That was what she got to do later in life. Roseanne, not Connor, but yes. Dave: [22:07] Did we mention we lived like a two-minute walk from our house to her house in Hawaii before? I think we've talked about it. Okay. All right. Which is weird to think about. Tara: [22:14] Yeah. Well, I don't think she was there all the time. Dave: [22:16] We didn't live in a really great neighborhood. Like it wasn't like a super fancy neighborhood or anything like that. Laura: [22:21] Laura, Tammy Taylor from Friday Night Lights. with an honorable mention for Aunt Viv on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air just for that dance audition scene alone. Dave: [22:30] That was great. Yeah. So I had a little trouble with this one because I was thinking, like, are they cool in universe? Like everybody thinks they're the cool mom on the TV show, or do I think they're cool? And I had a lot of trouble finding a mom who actually seemed genuinely cool to everybody in the show, although those were good examples. So I went with like cool to me. So I have some unconventional answers that don't really fit into the former category. Lucille Bluth from Rest of Development, great character. These are mostly just great mom characters, I guess. I guess I cheated. Morticia Adams from The Addams Family, great mom. But my choice, and she doesn't do a lot of motherly things, but technically she is a mother. Dowager Countess from Downton Abbey. She's the most fun for me. Second question is from Damon. They want us to change a letter and ruin a TV show. So change the letter in the title and ruin it. Laura, What do you got here? Laura: [23:24] The Flesh Prince of Bel-Air. Dave: [23:28] I've got a Knight of the Seaman Kingdom. Tara: [23:31] Oh, dear. Mine is going to be News Ratio, and it's all about people who are getting ratioed to hell on social media with their replies and comments. Dave: [23:42] All right. Another one from Jovial Gent. If you were a showrunner for a show, what running gag would you add to every episode? What I'm going to do is there's a Foley sound that is the same fart noise in every episode, but it's not used as a fart. So there'd be like a garbage disposal, but when they turn it on, it's like yogurt coming out of the container, a car backfiring. But the mystery that the show hints at that the internet can never figure out is what high profile celebrity did they get to fart on a mic? And it's been used for the past seven years on the show and every episode. It turns out it was Helen Murin. Tara: [24:20] Oh my God. Dave: [24:21] Good for her. She's very versatile. Tara: [24:22] She is. Dave: [24:23] All right, Tara, what do you, Tara? Tara: [24:25] In the manner of, you know, Kramer always having a very dramatic entrance when he came into Jerry's apartment, my running gag would literally be a running gag where every time one character enters, it's straight from having come from a run and they're still like gasping and panting, got their fingers against their pulse, whichever side it is. Dave: [24:43] Okay, just to take that a little further, what if they're running and they're gagging on something as they do it? Tara: [24:49] That's ridiculous. Dave: [24:50] Too much. Too far. Laura: [24:53] I like yours because they're kind of subtle because that was what I was a little concerned with with mine is that it would be something that would just keep getting annoying every single time you saw it. So I just was thinking of having a callback from the previous episode somewhere within the next episode. Dave: [25:08] But like. Laura: [25:08] Something subtle so like if somebody slipped on a banana peel in the previous episode there's a background character who's has like a banana purse or something. Dave: [25:17] Yeah i don't know if he kept it up but the first few sting albums did that there was always like this little musical moment in the next album from the previous album i always thought that was a little fun all right oh look at this we've got a double user ask here first half from bees or laura second half from Seek, and we're going to answer them together. What's something really dumb that cracks you up way more than it should? And what's something everyone thinks is funny, but you just never found it amusing at all? All right, Tara, so both answers, please. Tara: [25:48] Okay, my something dumb that cracks me up way more than it should is just every... justine one-liner from superstore that's what we are currently re-watching and the joke of justine's character is that she's always making like dumb double entendres like hinting at how she's always like a drunk sled on the under stair timing stuff and they're so broad and stupid and that's the point but they make me laugh every time i'll put a link in the show notes to the best of justine so you can get an idea of how corny she is and my thing that everyone thinks is funny but i've never found it amusing at all i don't know how many everyone still think it's amusing but it's i love lucy the show and i've complained about it before i've never seen a clip from that show that has amused me in any way laura. Laura: [26:39] First of all i'm a little concerned that i might be tearing a hole in the ehg universe by being the ask ehg asker and the answer so i apologize but the thing that actually prompted me asking the question was is and i don't even know how i came across it it's a fake online quiz on how well you know the lyrics to hotel california but it's all ridiculous lyrics and it keeps talking about how hotel california is just down the streets from a perkins restaurant it's so dumb but every time i hear the song which is a lot if you listen to the radio it cracks me up every single time something that everyone thinks is funny but i don't i just never got the movie bridesmaids actually didn't even make it through the entire movie i think just that and any other comedy that's made you to just feel super uncomfortable the entire time i just struggle with that so. Dave: [27:31] Like uh something about mary that kind of stuff. Laura: [27:34] I've actually never seen that. Dave: [27:36] Okay, that's the same kind of thing. You talking about the quiz reminded me of the penis quiz. Do you remember that? Tara: [27:42] The penis quiz, of course. Yeah. Dave: [27:44] I think we talk about it somewhere. So I'm going to try to dig up because we found the quiz and I scanned it because it was really hard to find for a while. We'll try to dig that up. Mine for always funny, and I revisited this for this question and I was reading it over and it made me laugh all over again like it was the first time. is intentionally misspelled food names meme from 15 years ago or so. Unfortunately, the original batch that I used to reference is gone, but there's a decent collection of them that I'll link in the show notes. But it's pictures of food with misspelled sort of words under it. So the first one is a picture of a muffin and underneath it is M-O-F-N, muffin. They've got a banana, Blanaba. Mersh-Perdurter. My favorite one is a pitcher of an avocado. Unfortunately, not on this list, but it's Arvarkardarp, which I still call avocados Arvarkardarp. A pitcher of a spaghetti, spookooter, potter toot. Tara: [28:47] Arvarkardarp is the best one, of course, but I also want to give a shout out to Hom. Dave: [28:51] H-O-M for ham. Hot Doug. Tara: [28:54] Hat Doug. Dave: [28:55] Hat Doug, yes. Milk is Mork. They just keep on going and going. There were so many of them at one time, unfortunately, I couldn't find them, but I do have, yeah, sharded barf. Anyways, I always find it funny, never not amusing. What is never really amusing to me is pranks. I never really found pranks as funny as other people do. Tara: [29:18] I mean, you've watched a lot of Jackass, so I beg to differ. There's some pranks you enjoy. Dave: [29:22] Uh, I don't know if I would call those pranks. I'm thinking more like... Tara: [29:27] Air horn on the golf course? Dave: [29:28] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, sure, fine. All right, Damon, who is on your ideal panel for match game? Mine are Attila the Hun... Methuselah, Peter Cushing as seen in Top Secret, The Father Bear from the Charmin commercials, R2-D2, and Pete Hornberger. Tara: [29:46] All right. Well, some people actually took the question seriously. Dave: [29:49] I took it very seriously. Tara: [29:50] Did you? Dave: [29:51] That mix would be great. Tara: [29:52] All right. Laura: [29:52] I could have answered it if I did that. Dave: [29:54] Oh, boy. Jeez. Harsh crowd. Tara: [29:57] I went with Brett Summers, Charles Nelson Reilly, and Richard Dawson. Of course, these are your stalwarts. And then in addition to them, Anne-Mira, Betty White, I know my Betty White issue, and I'll come back to her, and Burt Convy. My Betty White issue, and I've tried to explain this, is just her rapping granny era. Betty White is like a legitimate regular actor in the 70s and 80s, no problem. And especially Betty White on a game show, she is going to take this seriously. She is going to try to get you points. And so is Burt Convy, and so is Anne-Mira. I don't like the people that go on these shows and just like fart around and play grab ass. This is people are trying to win money. Be serious. Dave: [30:42] All right. Fine. We have so many from Jovial Gent this week. Jovial Gent with the third of four questions. Actually, what in the first season of a TV show is the biggest indicator that it will become a really a bad show if it gets multiple seasons? Mine is, and I complained about this before, if at the end of the first season, you can tell that they're setting up the second season to be the exact same cycle, just plus one. Like they defeated the boss in the first season and now the boss is one stronger than the last one. And you can substitute boss for any challenge they have to overcome. Maybe it's a financial thing. Maybe they go from winning the local karate championship to having to go to the regional karate championship. But then the state, then the country, then the world. And then, of course, in the last season, the Galactic Karate Championship. That sort of thing usually tells me that the gas tank was only so big and they really shouldn't have refilled it. Tara: [31:38] Doing a just before the finale flashback to before the events of the show is a storytelling crutch that is way too common these days and something that Catherine Van Arundonk has complained about at Vulture, so I'll dig that up and put in the show notes. Dave: [31:53] Rightly so. Tara: [31:54] Laura. Laura: [31:55] If it is a TV show where it's based on a book and the first season covers the entire book and it's a standalone book, then anything that comes after it is going to be horrible. Dave: [32:05] Yeah. Tara: [32:06] Oh, the Handmaid's Tale rule Big. Laura: [32:09] Little Lies The Bible. Tara: [32:13] The Bible Dave, you know there's a Bible show coming I thought. Dave: [32:17] You were going to say Dave, you know there's a Bible too. Tara: [32:21] There's a Bible show coming to Fox Mini Driver is going to be in it. Dave: [32:25] Noah's back and he's got a bigger boat. Tara: [32:26] Yeah. Dave: [32:28] And with an E, if you had won the lottery but hadn't told anybody about it, what would be some of the signs that that has happened? Tara? Tara: [32:37] We might stop plugging the Patreon as much as we currently do, but seriously, kick up that pledge because we did not win the lottery and I've been unemployed for months. Laura? Laura: [32:46] I went with kind of a weird one because actually probably a month or two ago at this point, you guys were talking about TV gifts you could give people. And Tara, you mentioned, I think maybe for your sister, getting her like a giant replica of the map that's used for the final round of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego. I want that as my patio. And that's going to be my one indulgence. Tara: [33:09] Love that. Dave: [33:10] I would love to get a Roman mosaic of something really stupid and current in pop culture. That would be a nice mix of things. I'm surprised at your answer, Tara, because the answer would be the podcast would immediately go dark and you would never hear from me again. Tara: [33:23] No, but you hadn't told anybody about it. Dave: [33:26] I know, but I'm still not telling anybody about it if I just like everything about the podcast disappears. Tara: [33:31] They might just think you died. Dave: [33:32] But here's how you figure it out. Somewhere in America or the world, a surprise new Sweet Tomatoes opens up in that city because I bought a franchise only so I can eat there. And there's like a VIP section in the Sweet Tomatoes, which seems very weird. And you can't get in it because that's where I eat. That's how you know. All right. Last question from Jovial Gent. I saw a reading list based on Mad Men and most of the selections are solid. What is a show you'd read from their reading list? Laura: [34:04] This one was hard. I kept thinking of a single character from a show that I would like, but then not the other ones. But I finally settled on somebody somewhere. I think even Trish, who's my least favorite character, probably I feel like she'd have some at least interesting stuff on her list. Tara: [34:20] Yeah, she'd have a beach read or two. Dave: [34:21] Yeah, that makes sense. I went with Rome from HBO because you get a mix. So on the reading list, it would be like snooty classic stuff that you can impress your friends with. Like, yes, I did read Plutarch. Thank you very much. and here's what he had to say. But you also get the modern authors who write about very interesting stuff like what did the Romans eat? Like fish pickle sounds like the most disgusting thing in the universe. No, thank you. What was it made out of? Or like, here's how the army worked and that sort of stuff. So my choice is Rome for the Land of Contrast books that you would get out of it. Tara? Tara: [34:54] I went with one where you actually just do see or hear books read on the show. And this is possibly recency bias at play because of the main show this week, but Northern Exposure, there's a lot of episodes where Chris is reading from this or that on the radio, or, you know, you see people reading or they've just ordered this or that from To Be Delivered and are very excited about some new release. I would also love to read the many magazines that you see in episodes of Northern Exposure other than the golf ones that Joel read because I do not care. Dave: [35:27] Yeah. All right, last question for us. It comes from David T. Cole. David D. Cole asks, do you like food? I'm going to say yes. Tara? Tara: [35:35] I like food as well. Probably too much and the wrong kinds. Laura? Laura: [35:39] Same. Enough. I'm so sick and tired of hearing. Dave: [35:42] You people talk about food, food, food. All right. Ears up, dear listeners. It is time for the Ask, Ask EHG question. It comes from Dixon Chance this week. Dixon asks, you have to film an episode of a show where everyone is upside down. What's happening? Get an answer for that. Go to our Discord. Go to the Ask Ask EHG channel. Put your answer there. We'll be back next week with Judgment. And if you're not on Discord, but you do want to get an answer into the mix, you can just email me, david at cole dot FYI. Dave: [36:16] It is time for the extra, extra hot, great Tiny Cannon. Presenting this week is our guest, Laura. Laura, take it away. Laura: [36:24] So I am presenting into the tiny cold open canon Captain Holt winning a game, a bet from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. So in my opinion, Brooklyn Nine-Nine had probably one of the highest concentrations of good cold opens. So much so that I actually was really debating which one to bring for this. And I'm sure I'll probably do another one at some point. But I had to go with this one just because of how good Andre Brower is and how much I miss him. It's so sad we won't get more of him. But he was so good as Captain Holt on that show. I think he's one of my favorite TV characters of all time. At the start of the series, he really seems like it's just going to be that traditional sitcom boss role and you're just going to see him walk in and out and be completely serious. But they wisely fleshed him out and really made him into more of a real person. For this moment, even the most straight-laced person like Captain Holt is can't always help getting overly involved in a competition from time to time. I love the entire cold open so much that I'm just going to have Dave play all of it. Wait for it. Wait for it. 9.01. Amy Santiago. Dave: [37:48] Sarge's idiotic alarm clock theory. I bet she tucked herself into bed too tight and got stuck. Maybe she fell into another dimension where she's interesting. It's 9 a.m. Why is no one working? Tara: [38:29] Us now. There's a problem at the bank. Hot damn! Dave: [38:38] Oh my God, so good. Laura: [38:39] I cannot tell you how many times I have seen this clip, even today, because I had to watch it again, and I'm still laughing at it. Everything about Andre Brouwer in this clip is just pure perfection. Like, it's very quiet, being like, I like to play. And then when he gets upset, thinks he's not going to get to find out the answer. you will tell us now. The hot damn is so unexpected, but it suits the moment perfectly. Supposedly, this line was improvised by Andre Brouwer during the first take they did. And if you look closely, you can actually see Stephanie Beatriz trying not to laugh at the beginning of the clip. And I can completely see why I would not have been able to hold it together either. There's just so many times where you're proven right about something in life and kind of wish you could unleash a hot damn into it, but no one would deliver it as well as Andre Brower does. So I'm hoping you will honor him with this tiny cannon. Tara: [39:36] Thank you so much. I'll go first. First of all, thank you for bringing an Andy Samberg clip to the tiny canon as a non-me person, because I have done that a lot. But I still had put this one on my two tiny canon list when we did our rewatch last year, because it is an all-timer. It doubles too as a great introduction to all the characters and Amy, because they're all throwing out extremely in-character suggestions, including when Amy shows up and says she's only 70 seconds late. The fact that she knows it down to the second tells us a lot about her as well. And I do think that this was the first time we saw Holt give a reaction to anything that was on this level of passion, including like with because by this point, I think there'd been just one heist, Halloween heist. I think the other one was still to come in season two. But for that reason alone, it deserves tiny canonization is like, you know, bringing his character to a new level. And I also wish I had saved the gift that I made of this with a huge hot damn in the standard mean font on it before previously dot TV went offline. I suppose I could do it again. But that was a treasured gift that I made for a long time. Dave: [40:45] What a great selection. Sometime in the future, we'll have another one from this show because one of my favorites is the Diane Weiss cold open. Tara: [40:53] Also on my list. Laura: [40:54] That was on my list. Dave: [40:55] Legendary, like all-timer cold open for me. And this one is right up there with it. Rewatching the show recently, I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. Like, I remember really liking this show. But sometimes you step away from a show and you watch it again and you sort of have an appreciation of just how well it is constructed and how well they do with the characters. And as you were saying, Laura, his evolution is sort of like what I wanted out of Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation, but we never got. I always felt like Ron Swanson, when they changed his character in order to provide comedy, it felt forced. Whereas this one, I always felt like the Holt trajectory always made sense for his character and who he was. This moment is fantastic. The moment you didn't mention that I thought was the funniest moment in that I just discovered something new that I like about this scene sort of way is where he just says, this is fun. Tara: [41:54] Yeah. Dave: [41:55] It's just like totally deadpan. You know, we forget now after six seasons of this show. Tara: [42:00] Eight. Dave: [42:01] He was coming from all these dramatic roles, right? You know, homicide and... Tara: [42:06] Men of a certain age. Thank you. Dave: [42:08] We didn't know what his chops were for this comedic role. And it turns out he was like one of the strongest characters on the show. And hot damn, but also the way that he sort of like just doesn't clap, but claps his hands in front of his chest motion. It's like a slicing motion between his two hands. As one of his legs goes up, it's great. It's really great physical acting as well. So it's sort of like the full package. I don't think you can ask more out of a cold open. Let's put this to the official vote, Tara, Arianna. Of course. Tara: [42:37] Of course. Dave: [42:37] Me too. So, Captain Holt wins the game from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. You are hereby inducted into the extra hot, great, tiny, cold open cannon. Dave: [42:51] Americans love a winner. Yep. And will not tolerate a loser. Nope. It is time to discover who are our not quite winners and not quite losers of the week. I will go first. not quite winner are trekkers which i hate that term so i'm gonna say trekkies who can now own thank god an official or many official versions of the star trek mug as made famous on deep space nine now if you're not familiar deep space nine had these mugs that were in like quark bar and other places and they were just like some mug some dude in the prop department found they were made by Bodum. You probably know Bodum as the tea kettle company. They went out of circulation. It turns out that they didn't sell too well. And the person that created it or the company or both just let the trademark vanish. So it was sort of in this weird limbo, even if they did want to make them again, who would make them? How do you get the rights to that design? So somebody figured it out because now Master Replicas is making a reproduction of them that you can buy pre-order now for $25. They are officially called a Rackagino mug. This is a Klingon drink, which makes me think that there's an equivalent of Starbucks on the Klingon homeworld, except spelled with more Qs and glottal stops. So if that is of interest to you, you can put your order in now. They are, as in the show, pale blue, just the way you like them. So $25, you can order as many as you want. Tara: [44:18] They also have a black version with the show logo as well. Dave: [44:21] I remember these being for sale when Canada's Wonderland, which is a theme park, sort of a six-flag deal outside of Toronto, was initially bought by Paramount. And it became Paramount's Canada's Wonderland, which is a lot. They added a Star Trek store. And first of all, when you entered the Star Trek store, there was a Vulcan statue there. Except it wasn't a statue. It was a person being incredibly still. And when he got near her, she would like give you the Vulcan sign. Scared the absolute shit out of me. Why is a Vulcan the scare thing in this? Like I had so many questions after I got scared. Well, first of all, why would you do that? You're going to give some old man a heart attack. Second of all, why a Vulcan? Tara: [45:00] Yeah, why not a Gorn? Dave: [45:01] Why not something a little more menacing? Anyways, that was their choice. Laura: [45:06] Fine. Dave: [45:06] They also had these mugs there. So people want them. Tara: [45:09] Yeah, I just remember these being like the commuter mug before cars had couples. Dave: [45:14] That's what they are, because the bottom of it has like a no slip sort of a rubber thing going on. So I am sure that's exactly what they were designed for. Tara: [45:21] You put them on your dash or whatever. Dave: [45:23] They look like a nuclear plant smokestack without the flare at the top. Tara: [45:28] Yeah, or like an upside down filter. Dave: [45:30] Not quite loser of the week, is New Orleans. Gnarled! Losing the Tulsa King spinoff we were talking about a few months ago, where Samuel L. Jackson was on season three of Tulsa King. Take your word for it. Didn't watch season three after season two. They didn't get the tax breaks they wanted, so now it's going to be Frisco King. Did you even know there was a town in Texas called Frisco? Tara: [45:52] I did. Dave: [45:52] Okay, so it's a suburb of Dallas now. And so Samuel L. Jackson is going to be the mob boss, I guess, in Frisco. north of Dallas, and that's going to be the show. So sort of like Breaking Bad was going to be Riverside, California, before it became Albuquerque. Same thing here. Tara: [46:07] Mm-hmm. Dave: [46:07] Yep. All right, Tara Ariano, who is your Not Quite Winner of the Week? Tara: [46:10] My Not Quite Winner of the Week is R, collectively, fans of heated rivalry because you— Softness in his eyes, iron in his thighs. Gotta remember to pause after I say that title. You will be able to book Shane's Cottage, Cottage, as depicted in the infamous Cottage episode, the season one finale, it is in Muskoka in Canada, and they're only charging $248.10 US a night. I assume this is like $300 Canadian or something. That's too cheap. I appreciate that whoever owns this property is making it affordable, making it attainable for fans at all income levels. Dave: [46:52] For fucking, but okay. Tara: [46:54] Well, for fucking, of course. That goes with that saying. But I think, I would just like to tell this Airbnb host, you can probably kick that up by like a hundred bucks and people will pay. Laura: [47:04] At least. Dave: [47:05] Yeah. Is this confirmed now prices? Tara: [47:08] That's what it was in the story. I don't know. Dave: [47:10] Okay. Yeah. Tara: [47:10] That it will start renting in March. Carry. Dave: [47:13] Right. Hedo rivalry took the world by surprise. Tara: [47:16] It did. Dave: [47:16] I don't think anybody that was like, well, there's this Canadian gay hockey story that they filmed at my house. I'll probably make thousands of dollars a night now. Probably didn't occur to them, but here we are. Tara: [47:26] No, but the fact that it's only going on rent in March tells me that this is a new addition to Airbnb. Dave: [47:33] Right, right, right. Tara: [47:34] My not quite loser of the week is Ludwig. Hold on. This is a historical series about so-called fairy tale king Ludwig II of Bavaria, which I'm going to say is probably going to blink and change its title before it premieres rather than lose the SEO battle to Ludwig, the already existing cozy mystery show about a puzzle setter that has had one season and one more to come. Yeah. Dave: [47:58] What if they did the credits in the exact same style as Ludwig, that very annoying thing that I hate where they just take random motifs from the show and make a CG thing out of them, except it's all just like Bavarian stuff. Tara: [48:10] Yeah. Dave: [48:10] So like instead of getting shot, like somebody throws a pretzel at him, that kind of stuff. Tara: [48:14] Would you like that? Dave: [48:15] I would like it more if they're taking the piss out of it. But as I said before, I'm ready for a 1980s credit sequence again for some show. Tara: [48:24] Laura? Laura: [48:25] My not quite winner of the week is Flavor Flav. For anybody not aware, basically, Trump and the men's hockey team were shitty to the U.S. women's hockey team after they won the gold medal. So then the women's hockey team declined coming to the State of the Union, which smart move. And then somehow Flavor Flav inserted himself into everything and invited all of the women's hockey team to a party and a bunch of different companies are giving freebies for it. It's just really weird to me that he's become kind of like the savior of the Olympics, especially after he sponsored the women's water polo team back for the 2024 Olympics. It's just very interesting career turn. Tara: [49:07] Yeah, I only know this from following our friend Linda Holmes on social media, but apparently he's like a big champion of women's sports, which I think is great. What a wonderful way to reinvent yourself as a 21st century celebrity than to take up the cause of underappreciated women's athletics and sort of make that your cause. Good for him. Dave: [49:26] And there's a new pro women's hockey league that just started a couple of years ago, too. So good timing for a high exposure for all these people. All right. Who's your not quite a loser? Laura: [49:35] Late night TV, as Conan O'Brien said, he likely reaches more people now as a podcaster than when he had a nightly show. To kind of late night TV has just been like oddly depressing for me. Just I've been very aware of the TV monoculture not really existing so much anymore. I think we're getting a little bit of it with The Pit, actually. Tara: [49:56] And Heated Rivalry. Laura: [49:57] And Heated Rivalry, too. So just that decline of late night is just a reminder that we don't really have that as much anymore. Tara: [50:05] It's a bummer. Kim: [50:09] Hi, this is Kim Reid, and welcome to the most awesome thing I saw on TV last month. Last month, I watched Little House on the Prairie, season four, episode 16, called I Remember, I Remember. So we open on Carrie crossing the creek. Like, who let her go near the water on her own? And how long until she falls in and causes yet another easily preventable crisis? Meanwhile, Mary's hanging up a sign over the front door, which there's absolutely no way that these people could have made this sign. I mean, it's the kind you buy at Party City or whatever, and they say happy anniversary with, like, the letters cut out. Inside, Carrie's trying to put the flowers in a vase and she spills water all over the table and Laura's irrationally angry about it, like, did you just meet Carrie yesterday? Of course she made a mess. I guess they're waiting for Pa to get home so they can celebrate their parents' anniversary and has anyone ever been so excited to celebrate someone else's anniversary? Cut to Pa, who's trying to hoist up his wagon so they can put the wheel back. Kim: [50:59] On, but then the hoisting rope snaps and the wagon falls back down and Pa's like, oh, brother. So now it's after dark and Pa's still not home and as they clean up, Mary and Laura ask about other times that Pa has kept Ma waiting, which is kind of a weird thing to ask. Like, wouldn't it make more sense to ask about a time when Pa made a romantic gesture or something? And Ma says she was about Laura's age the first time it happened. And of course, the girls want to hear the whole story because they didn't have screens. And then it's like Wayne's World noise. We flash back to young Caroline's family meeting their new neighbors, the Ingalls family, which includes Mr. and Mrs. Ingalls, and then Peter and Polly and young Charles, who's hiding in the wagon because I guess he's shy. Young Charles is played by Matthew Laberteau, who will go on to play Albert Ingalls in future seasons. Anyway, young Charles and young Caroline end up outside alone together, and young Caroline's got the look of love in her eyes. So cut to some time later, and young Charles is helping his pa build their house when young Caroline and her mother and her brother show up to bring them some bread and maple syrup and maple sugar candy. What's weird is that Peter Ingalls, who's probably supposed to be like 16. Kim: [51:58] Always has his arm around his sister Polly so that they sort of look like miniature husband and wife instead of siblings. Real Targaryen vibes there. Anyway, young Charles refuses to have any candy, even when young Caroline offers politely, he just walks away like a real weirdo. As they leave, young Caroline says, what a strange boy, and young Caroline's Ma says, I think he likes you, which there's really not a lot of evidence for any of this other than the fact we know they ended up married. So then flashback to current day, and Ma's telling the stories to Mary and Laura as Carrie sleeps on her lap, and she sits in the rocking chair. Meanwhile, Pa's still out trying to fix his wagon, and there's thunder and lightning, and then, of course, it starts raining. So then later, Ma walks outside to see if Pa's coming yet, and Laura and Mary ask for more stories about Ma and Pa's youth. And Ma says that Pa was her first beau, although there was another boy named Harold Watson who thought he was her beau, but she didn't even like him, and his father was the schoolteacher. So we Wayne's World back in time, and oh my god, the schoolteacher is Boss Hogg from Dukes of Hazzard. What a jump scare. Anyway, the teacher gives young Charles a really hard time by saying he's not speaking loud enough or clearly enough, even though he's speaking plenty loud and clear as far as I can tell. Kim: [53:02] So then young Charles yells his answer and all the kids laugh. And the teacher says that young Charles has to skip recess as a punishment. So then cut to all the kids sitting outside the schoolhouse while young Charles is inside, apparently getting whipped by his teacher. And stupid Harold Watson picks on young Charles. And then young Charles and Harold start fighting. And of course the teacher sees and you know he's going to take his son's side. And he gets ready to just start whipping young Charles right there in front of everybody. And young Caroline grabs his arm and says that young Charles didn't start it. And the teacher says he knows who's a troublemaker. he just starts whipping young Charles on the butt with his pointer, which is kind of upsetting to watch, but probably historically accurate. And I know I'm supposed to be watching young Charles crying and everything, but there's an extra standing behind him who's wearing what are obviously green Levi corduroys, like they came right off the rack. And then young Charles runs off into the woods crying, but Matthew Labroteau puts a little extra mustard on it. It's like flailing his arms and legs about like, woohoo, which isn't really the vibe they're going for. Anyway, later on, everyone's walking home and young Charles and Peter come upon Harold harassing Caroline and she's yelling at him to let her arm go. And then Harold says something about his pa and Charles says, are you going to leave her alone or should I come ramming and thumping? And he makes this gesture like an old timey boxer is the only way I can describe it. And Harold's like, I don't want any of that nonsense. And he says he's going to tell his pa and he runs away. Kim: [54:14] So then young Caroline thanks young Charles for helping her and young Charles runs away and Caroline says, oh, that boy. So then young Caroline just shows up at young Charles's house and starts peeking in the windows where she hears him practicing the fiddle. Like, what a creep. But then Peter catches her and brings her inside and says he's caught a spy. And young Caroline says she wasn't spying, but she heard the music. And Mrs. Ingalls invites her to stay and have some milk. And then says young Charles can walk her home afterwards. And young Caroline looks very pleased with this development. So later they walk home and she talks about fiddles and how much their teacher sucks. So then young Caroline explains about the Berry Festival coming up and how it's a tradition that the girls make lunches and then the boys pick a lunch and they have to have a picnic with whoever's lunch they picked. And young Charles kind of shrugs and nods in a very noncommittal fashion. And young Caroline takes that and runs with it. And so she'll mark her lunch with one of her ribbons that she's wearing. And she sticks her braid practically in young Charles's eyeball to make sure he sees it. Cut to some other day when young Charles is getting beaten by his teacher again. Kim: [55:10] And young Caroline stands outside the window looking horrified. And meanwhile, every other kid in school is just standing outside the door waiting for young Charles to come out. Like, could you give the guy a little space? He's obviously humiliated. So then cut to the teacher heading to the outhouse. I'm like, he's really preparing to do some business, like he's taking off his overcoat and everything. And as soon as he gets inside, young Charles sneaks out from behind it with a rope and ties the door shut, which you think the guy could hear him out there wrestling around because it's not like he's in there with his phone watching TikTok. So anyway, young Charles ties the door shut and the teacher tries to get out. And the music in the background is very like, LOL. And like, this guy deserves this and worse for his abuse. But young Charles stupidly runs off such that the teacher can see him through the little moon carved in the door. So then it's Berry Festival Day and the Ingalls family is getting ready to go when the teacher drives up at his horse and buggy and informs Mr. Ingalls that young Charles tied him up in the outhouse. Kim: [55:58] Instead of laughing, Mr. Ingalls calls young Charles over and asks if he did it. And young Charles says he did. And Mr. Ingalls says, you know what to expect? And young Charles nods very seriously. So then Mr. Ingalls takes off his belt and hands it to the teacher. And the teacher kind of nods like, oh, yes, this is normal. Exactly what I expected. And then he whips young Charles on the butt like four times. And he's going for number five when Mr. Ingalls grabs his arm and says, that's enough. Like, it's OK that you physically abused my son four times, but five is beyond the pale. Then Mr. Ingalls says that now young Charles knows their consequences, but then he tells the teacher that he is also going to stop treating young Charles the way he has. And the teacher tries to say young Charles has been lying about it. And Mr. Ingalls says young Charles actually never said a word to him about it, but Peter did. And Mr. Ingalls says if he ever hears the teacher laid a hand on young Charles for no reason again, he will come to the school himself and thrash the teacher in front of the whole class. I feel like I would need more clarification on what with no reason means. Like, I'm unclear on the parameters surrounding corporal punishment back in the day. Like, if Charles didn't do his homework, is it okay to whip him? What if he got caught goofing off in class? He'd like young Charles to goof off less and that young Charles can't go to the Berry Festival. And cut back to present-day Ma looking out the window at the rain and saying that she's still waiting for Pa today. The girls want to hear more, but Ma sends him to bed as the thunder rolls. I wonder if Ma's remembering when she almost cut her leg off because of that infection. I sure am. Kim: [57:18] Anyway, cut to Pa tightening his wagon wheel, so he's making progress at least. Then in the middle of the night, Laura creeps downstairs and say she can't sleep because she's worried about Pa, so Ma lets her cuddle up in the bed. It still astounds me that Carrie could just sleep through this. Like, please keep in mind that Laura and Mary's bed is up in the loft, which is not far, but at least there's some division between the rooms. But Carrie's bed is at the foot of Ma and Pa's bed. Like, whenever they show them chuckling in bed or eating popcorn or whatnot, Carrie's literally feet away from them, which may explain some things about how Carrie is. Anyway, Laura begs Ma to tell her more of the story, so we wanes world back and see young Charles and Caroline sitting down to eat lunch together at school, and young Charles apologizes for missing the festival, and young Caroline tries to act mad, and then young Charles pulls something out of his pocket and hands it to young Caroline, and she unwraps it to find a necklace that he made from seeds. Like, who knew Pa was such a craftsman of fine jewelry? Kim: [58:07] Anyway, young Caroline immediately puts it on and asks him to help her, which, it's like the kind of necklace you just put over your head, so I'm not sure what she needs help with. So then she asks him how it looks, and he stares at her for a while, and then he says, real pretty on you. And okay, they're kind of cute. So then later they're walking home, and young Caroline tells young Charles about the hay dance they have in a barn coming up. And young Charles is confused why she's telling him this. Like, how dumb is he? And young Caroline says, obviously, I want you to be my dance partner. And young Charles kind of shrugs and says, I guess so. Like, if he wanted to, he would, Caroline. But then he finally says yes, but then says he has to go, and he runs off. And apparently he ran into a new season because it was totally fall when they were walking home, and now as he arrives back at his house, it's icy out? Like, what just happened? Kim: [58:49] Anyway, young Charles is worried because he doesn't know how to dance, so his brother tries to teach him, and it doesn't go well. So cut to the barn dance, and young Caroline is waiting for young Charles to show up, and when she spots the Ingalls family come in, she runs over to them and asks where young Charles is, and his mother says he'll be there soon. And then Harold Watson shows up and asks Caroline to dance, and she says no, and he asks why not, like, take a hint, bro. And she says she's saving her dances for Charles, and Harold says Charles isn't coming, and he looks real sly and smirks at his friend like they know something she doesn't. So then young Caroline goes and tells her ma she's going home, and she gets back to the house and she rips off her seed necklace. So then back at the dance, Peter's drinking some punch and he finds young Charles hiding in a corner with a black eye and a bloody lip. And Peter says, young Caroline went home and wonders what happened. And young Charles says, Harold and some other kid jumped him. And he has to go explain to young Caroline. So then young Charles shows up at Caroline's house and apologizes a million times. And young Caroline finally opens the door and she sees his face. And he says, Harold and the other kid tried to keep him from coming to the dance. And he thinks that young Caroline must be ashamed of him because he looks so bad. And young Caroline says she would never be ashamed of him. And then they put their arms up and dance right there on the porch. So then back to the present, it's still raining. and Laura wants to know what happened with the necklace. Kim: [59:59] And Ma says she picked up as many seeds as she could and restrung them and she still has the necklace. So she gets up and pulls it out of her hope chest, which is literally inches from Carrie's head. I know I keep talking about this, but I can't get over it. Like, Carrie must be the world's heaviest sleeper. And then she hears the wagon approaching, so she throws on her housecoat slash bathrobe and runs outside in some very red slippers, which, what are those, first of all? Did they even have slippers on the prairie? And second of all, those are like Fredericks of Hollywood red kitten heel slippers. Kim: [1:00:27] Anyway, Pa's somehow completely dry, and he gives Caroline a big hug and says that he got her a present, and Caroline's all excited because she thinks it's going to be something fancy for their anniversary, but it's just some spice she asked him to get in the big city, and she's like, oh, thanks. And then Pa says, oh, I did get you something else, and out of his other pocket, he pulls a necklace, and he fastens it around her neck, and he tells her happy anniversary, and then they do a big smooch. And then Ma asks if he wants to dance, and Pa's like, out here? And she's like, yeah. And they dance around the front yard. And, you know, one of the things that makes this show work is Ma and Pa's chemistry. Like, I know there's stories that the actors didn't always get along in real life, but they make it work on screen. Like, I buy that these two have been married for a while, and they still dig each other's chili. I'm still mad about Ma's weird slippers, though. And that's the most awesome thing I saw on TV last month. Tara: [1:01:23] So today's extra credit topic is Tara forces everyone to watch some of Tony Hale's pre-fame commercials. Let's start with our first clip. This is a 1999 spot for Volkswagen. And what you can't see for the beginning of this is Tony Hale sitting in a Volkswagen in a dark parking lot doing a lot of chair dancing in the driver's seat. Eventually his buddy shows up, opens the passenger door. Tara: [1:02:16] So I recently talked about in an I Am Not a Crackpot segment about how annoyed I am when I see vertical ads that are clearly made for social media on TV. And this is the kind of thing I feel like we've lost. Like this ad is very memorable. I think very witty. Considering how often Tony Hale plays an awkward nerd, he is surprisingly graceful, solid chair dancer. And the reveal of why he's doing this when the door opens is funny. Also funny is touting an eight-speaker cassette tape stereo system in 1999. But then a little tag at the end with both guys lip-syncing while they're driving really glues the spot in your memory. I love this commercial. Laura, what did you think? Laura: [1:02:58] I 100% remember this commercial, and I had no idea it was Tony Hale. So we're talking about pop culture facts you didn't know. This was one for me. I had that song in my head constantly when it was on. It's kind of hilarious. It turns out that it was actually somebody who would show up and be way more prominent later on. Dave: [1:03:16] Volkswagen was really on a roll at this time with their advertising, too, because they had Farva Nugent. Remember when we all like to say Farva Nugent? Tara: [1:03:23] Sure. Dave: [1:03:24] And they also had the other big song ad, the da, da, da, that one. That was big, too. So, yeah, whoever their agency was, they were firing on all cylinders. So it was fun to see this one again. However. Dear Mr. President, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. I am not a... Crackpot. I'm not a crackpot, but YouTube titles, when you are a creator on YouTube, should allow you to have a dual title system where there's one descriptive title of it, like this one, Tony Hale, Volkswagen, Mr. Roboto commercial. And then another one where if I've checked on my profile, give me the one that doesn't spoil the shit out of what I'm supposed to watch. I get that one. Also, that would be used whenever you embed something somewhere. so that, like, okay, that would have been a great reveal if I didn't actually read it in the title. I am not a crackpot, but that should happen at Google. Tara: [1:04:22] Yeah, that's a good point. Dave: [1:04:24] Yep, but otherwise, great ad. Tara: [1:04:25] Next ad is from the year 2000. In the year 2000, Tony hailed an ad for Velveeta and what you can't see in this is him basically housing a whole bowl while everyone else is playing charades. Dave: [1:04:38] Whole bowl of nachos and dip. Tara: [1:04:39] Whole bowl of, yes, queso and dip. It's an overstory. To movies. Eating. Scarf face. Scarf, a pain. Pain! Oh, is it my problem? so they've been basically he's framed like in the kitchen pass through as if they're watching him on tv trying to act stuff up and he's just eating all of the queso and okay relatable velveta and a can of vegetarian chili instead of rotel i'm listening dave are you interested in this i. Dave: [1:05:15] Mean i can make queso the next time i make chili and you can put the queso on top of the chili instead of shredded cheese. Tara: [1:05:20] Interesting but this is like it's the same thing as what we normally do when you make queso in the crock pot, except it's a can of, it's like canned stag chili instead of roto. Dave: [1:05:30] I have at it. I don't want to have canned chili, but queso recipe. And if anybody's interested, I could post it somewhere, but block of Velveeta, tub of salsa roja, a couple cans of diced hatch chili, heavy whipping cream. You just have to throw that into your crock pot, let it melt. And then when it's done, you can add a few things to it, a little pico, maybe some cilantro on top if you're not one of them soapy taste bud people. And it is so fucking good. Tara: [1:05:55] It is. Dave: [1:05:55] It is so easy to make, but it is the crowd pleaser. So next party, consider it. It's real tasty. I thought this was cute. Tara: [1:06:03] Mm-hmm. Dave: [1:06:04] On the spectrum of playing it very safe, that's in the middle and to the left of it is very banal and unsatisfying and to the right of it is goofy and super funny. This is slightly right of center. Tara: [1:06:15] Mm-hmm. Dave: [1:06:15] Yeah. Tara: [1:06:15] It's tough to be the messy dweeb in a commercial, but it's a national spot for craft. You know, get that shit all over your face, pay your rent for a year. Laura, what did you think of this one? Laura: [1:06:24] When he was actually eating it, it looked good, but when they put the ingredients together, it looked so disgusting. He had little cubes and the salsa all around it. I clicked on the comments for it, so I don't know if this is actually true, but somewhere in the comments it said that Tony Hale was actually eating all of that and then got very sick afterwards, but I don't know if that's actually legitimate. Tara: [1:06:48] That seems like a story he might have told on a podcast. I could see that being true. Dave: [1:06:51] Yeah. Tara: [1:06:52] All right. Next is an ad for the Ohio Lottery, and I will describe what's happening while it's going on. super lotto plus numbers but don't forget your non-winning, don't throw away your chance for big money too much narration for me to explain what's happening while it was going on so he sees his ticket realizes he's lost crumples it up throws it out the window then the voiceover says don't forget you have a second chance blah blah blah so then he's like oh shit races down from his apartment goes to the street thinks it's been swept up by the street sweeper and then it's just sort of like sails down from the window and lands in his hand and all is fine yeah so it tells a little story, like the best commercials do, I think, has him showing up his physical comedy chops and street sweepers, great TV commercial villain. Dave: [1:08:06] When I was a kid, the most exciting thing that happened in the neighborhood is the seemingly random time of the quarter where the street sweeper, I don't even think cities do anymore, would come down the road and clean. It was a magical time. Laura: [1:08:20] They still do it here. Dave: [1:08:21] Oh, great. It's a mysterious machine that you're not quite sure how it works, but then the road is clean after. And when you're a kid, it sort of like scratches that itch that a lot of kids have for like construction equipment and things like that. I remember you would hear it and it would be like the ice cream truck. You'd run out to watch it go past your house, but that was fucking amazing. Absolutely fucking amazing. Laura: [1:08:43] It was that and the thing that sucks up all the leaf. Dave: [1:08:47] We never had that. That seems like that episode of The Simpsons where the garbage men do absolutely everything for you, including coming into your house and washing your dishes. That level of community service where they'll come with a giant vacuum to get rid of the leaves. That's crazy. That's crazy. Neat. Tara: [1:09:05] Laura, your thoughts on this ad for the Ohio Lottery from 2001? Laura: [1:09:09] I am stunned. I don't remember this. I live in Ohio and I don't remember seeing this ad, but it immediately made me think of, so there was a TV game show in Ohio. Then you would, you could get on it if you had, like, you had to get, have a lottery ticket with a certain, like, I think it's like entry or something. You had to scratch off those letters and then you got to be on Cash Explosion Double Play. Tara: [1:09:33] Whoa. Dave: [1:09:35] Um so. Laura: [1:09:36] I don't know i'm curious the sweeps like the sweepstakes special they mentioned at the end of the clip i want to know if it's the same thing. Dave: [1:09:43] Is that or. Laura: [1:09:44] If it's kind of like you know a spin-off of cash explosion double play. Dave: [1:09:47] Sounds like a porn it does it really does yeah dave. Tara: [1:09:52] Further thoughts on uh this spot. Dave: [1:09:54] Well first of all we're right in the middle of it and at this point i realized that perhaps tony hale is bringing his own clothes to all the commercials because he's wearing the same outfit in every one of these commercials. He's got like a dark hoodie or like a jacket on and then underneath a white t-shirt. And he's basically wearing the same thing in all these commercials over a span of five years. So something's going on there. Tara: [1:10:16] Yeah. Dave: [1:10:16] But how many people do you think went to the trouble of mailing in their losing ticket? It's a big barrier to entry for me. I hate dealing with mail and envelopes, especially now. I bet they had like a hundred come in. Tara: [1:10:29] Well, the fact that we don't hear about it anymore sort of says it didn't catch on. Dave: [1:10:33] Yeah, I mean, double porn days or whatever. What's it called? Double, is it called, Lauren? Laura: [1:10:40] Cash Explosion Double Play. Dave: [1:10:42] Cash Explosion Double Play isn't a show that we remember, generally speaking. Tara: [1:10:46] No, true. Laura: [1:10:46] I mean, I do in my heart. Tara: [1:10:49] The next one is from 2003. It is for Herbal Essences. And this was a campaign that went on for a while. This is the shampoo that made ladies just pop the hell off. in the shower. Dave: [1:10:59] Speaking about double explosions. Tara: [1:11:01] Right? Dave: [1:11:01] Yeah. Tara: [1:11:02] So Tony Hale plays the partner of a showering lady who is getting increasingly insecure the longer she has at it. So let's hear that. This was an obnoxious campaign that went on too long, like a totally organic experience. Not as clever as they ever thought, but the vibrant colors of the shampoo did trick my brain into thinking that I could smell the fruity scents while I was watching it. And Tony Hale is a good casting choice as a guy who is sexually insecure relative to fruity shampoo. Dave: [1:12:06] They must have at some point just decided generally not to have clear shampoo bottles anymore for these sort of like mid-tier brands because I can't really remember the last time there was anything where I could see the shampoo inside the bottle. I didn't really notice it when I was watching the commercial, but just hearing it, Tony Hale makes a really weird noise at the start of this commercial. I found disturbing. Let's hear it again. Tara: [1:12:28] You know, we're great together. Dave: [1:12:30] But I found something new. Tara: [1:12:34] It's because he's brushing his teeth. Dave: [1:12:35] I know, but it just sounds so good. Tara: [1:12:37] Yes, it does. Dave: [1:12:40] The two The twist is here that she did leave him. She did marry the shampoo and they had three kids together. Rinse, lather and repeat. Tara: [1:12:48] Oh, very funny. Dave: [1:12:49] Thank you. Tara: [1:12:50] Very good. Dave: [1:12:52] Terrible, terrible joke. Tara: [1:12:55] Laura, what did you think of this one? Laura: [1:12:57] I don't know if I hate any commercial running series as much as I hate the herbal essences ones. They were on all the time. Tara: [1:13:06] Yep. Laura: [1:13:06] They were always on in the most awkward situations, too. Like, who wants to be sitting next to their parents while this commercial is on? And they were just everywhere every single commercial break. So I was not so happy to see this one. Dave: [1:13:20] Yeah. Tara: [1:13:21] Sorry. And that was, as I said, 2003, which is the year Arrested Development premiered. Tara: [1:13:27] But this next one from 2004, he either did it anyway because who knows what's going to happen with Arrested Development. A ratings flop in its day. But this is also a full minute long, which made me think it might have been a Super Bowl ad. I could not confirm that, but I assume it originally aired during some kind of high-profile live event. But in this one, there's a laboring mother, and Tony Hale is her partner, and he's got some notes. Let's hear it. Just keep breathing. Keep breathing, sweetie. And just look at all the big, expensive equipment. Tara: [1:14:53] Growth Financial Guidance, a free service at all Citibank locations. Let's throw this one to Laura first, because we're ending as we began in this episode in the hospital. What did you think of this one? Laura: [1:15:05] It's too real. It is funny, but it's so real. Seriously, we go through so much. I've had the thought, like, he's talking how many pairs of gloves that the doctor or nurse are throwing away. I think of that every single time I'm in the OR. I'm like, oh, could I have used these for longer? And then that doesn't feel right because obviously we want to be clean, everything like that. One of my big, big things is that no patient should ever have to pay for parking at a hospital. So that just opened that whole thing. And I, honestly, this could unleash like a whole long rant if I'm not contained. So I will stop. Tara: [1:15:44] I always thought that when we were covering Melrose Place of like how much people are like just popping in and out of the hospital it's like it's 12 to park at the hospital like what are you doing anyway dave what did you think. Dave: [1:15:55] I think he loves to save money yeah that's what i got this was the most annoying of all the commercials oh. Tara: [1:16:01] Really i thought this was the funniest one. Dave: [1:16:02] It was just like it was a minute long it was the same thing over and over again like i didn't need a whole minute of that so it sort of didn't come back around again for me i think herbal essences is the worst commercial of the bunch yeah this one is the one where it's like i could have i could have done without overall. Tara: [1:16:19] Best in show i would say volkswagen. Dave: [1:16:21] Oh yeah absolutely for me agree, Dave: [1:16:25] All right, guys, that is it for another episode of Extra Extra Hot Great. We gave our diagnosis for the revival of Scrubs before answering your burning Ask EHG questions like, what's your dream running TV gag and who's on your ideal match game panel? Laura made the case for Brooklyn Nine-Nines Cold Open for the Tiny Cannon and hot damn, it got in. We celebrated those who weren't quite the best and worst of the week and wrapped it all up with a look at pre-fame Tony Hale's commercial work. Next up is R.J. Decker with Kim Reid's most awesome thing I watched on television last month's. Kim Reid, remember. We're listening. I am David Teagle. And on behalf of Tara Arellano. Tara: [1:17:13] This is fun. Dave: [1:17:14] The absent Sarah D. Bunting and Beezor Laura Hampton. Laura: [1:17:18] There was a problem at the bank. Dave: [1:17:20] Thanks for listening. And we'll see you next time right here on Extra, Extra Hot Crate.