Bringing Boots To Heel

Dave: [00:03] This episode of Extra Extra Hot Grate is brought to you by Seth's Fifteen Seconds of Fame. Clip: [00:10] I got voices in my head. They won't shut up till I'm dead But all I see is rip People you know know but you yourself know not Down, all frown, hurting, walking, silently screaming, slowly running, often feeling nothing. I am drunk on whiskey. I've heard good things about absence. Cry. It's okay. Absence makes the heart grow fumbling. It's not okay. If it's natural, feel alive. Smoke it, sniff it, snort it, drink it, screw it. There's a feeling that you're not going to be able to do it. I'm sure that we're hearing much more. I would like to know one person feeling the same as all the rest. Please let us act and do what is best. Lights, lights! Move your ass! I don't like it going up! Dave: [01:27] This is the Extra, Extra Hot Great Podcast, episode 377 for the October 11th, 2025 weekend. I am memorable living, fighting, chess piece recruitment head David T. Cole, and I'm here with Machine that turns boys into men, Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah: [01:49] Simper Fighty Yeah. Dave: [01:50] And regulation haircut Tara Ariano. Tara: [01:53] Smooth. Clip: [01:55] I can't believe I can't make it. Tara: [02:02] Welcome to Extra Extra Hot Grade if you're still here. That was a really anti-social opening. No. Between going straight from the fifteen seconds of fame into that intro. Woo. It's really Well, we're happy if you're still here. Sarah: [02:16] Violence, state sanctioned violence. Dave: [02:19] The most hostile T V podcast on earth. Tara: [02:25] Welcome. We thank you for your support. This is what you get for it. Anyway, we're here to talk about boots. It is 1990. Cameron Cope, Miles Heiser, is a recent high school graduate with no plans beyond maybe letting his mom move him from New Orleans to Bismarck to avoid the consequences of her mistakes, as he puts it. But when Cameron's best friend Ray, Liam O, comes back from the Air Force Academy after just a few months, something to do with his eyesight, Ray tells Cameron he's planning to enlist in the Marines instead. Cameron is intrigued that if you enlist with a friend, they'll keep you together until Ray tells Cameron it's illegal to be gay in the military. Cameron decides to give it a shot anyway. Ray being the only person who knows he's gay, but learns after his first day that boot camp and summer camp don't have much in common after all. Can Cameron hang in and finish training? Should he? The show was adapted from Greg Cope White's memoir The Pink Marine by Andy Parker, whose past credits include The Tales of the City revival. One of the show's executive producers was the late Norman Lear. All eight episodes dropped on Netflix October 9th. We may talk about events from any of them. Let's do the Chen check-in. Sarah shared our listeners watch boots. Sarah: [03:39] To my surprise, yes. Tara: [03:42] Dave Yeah, I'm medium on it as well. Dave: [03:42] I'm going to give this a marginal no. Tara: [03:46] I watched a couple. I'll probably sample a couple more, but it's uh We'll get into my barrier of entry for it, which is: we're now in the spoiler zone. You can't tell a boot camp story without portraying guys with untreated rage disorders yelling at people, or worse. But how high a barrier to entry do we think that's going to be for people who are interested in the sweet gay kid figuring himself out part of the show and would maybe be put off by all the rage? Sarah. Sarah: [04:13] It is ragey, and they do hang a light on the fact that you've seen this before and it is supposed to be like evocatively off Pudding. They sort of are like, Didn't you watch Full Metal Jacket like I told you? Tara: [04:26] Yeah. Sarah: [04:27] And then he's like, Well, but, you know, I got distracted by a Golden Girls marathon. Tara: [04:32] Mm-hmm. Sarah: [04:33] At which time I was distracted by the fact that there wouldn't have been a Golden Girls Marathon in 1990. Tara: [04:37] I thought that too. Mm-mm. Sarah: [04:40] There were a couple of anachronistic Things in it. Like, I did feel, especially in the first episode, like it was a little too heavy on signifiers of marine boot camp that we, as a culture, already know at the molecular Level. Like, this is not a perfect show, and mostly it made me misenlisted, but it had some charming things about it. So I think. If you try it and you can sort of, I don't know, live with the yelling or just mute it at the parts that you've seen a million times before in war movies, there's stuff here. Dave: [05:17] Very tropey, and that's part of it is because we've seen all of the boot camp, I'm new to the army, woe is me parts of it separated from the whole pink marine part of it. And then when we get to that storyline, they fucking do, I'm talking to myself stuff. Sarah: [05:35] Yeah, I had that in my notes. Dave: [05:37] Psychiatrist talking to yourself as another person to work through what you're dealing with. Sarah: [05:37] Yeah. Dave: [05:42] I just can't with that sort of stuff. So I found it incredibly tropey. But also, like when it came to the emotional stakes of things, I found it very compressed. Like the troughs and the peaks seemed to be s getting squished down to the middle. So I thought that was not helping. I will say the second episode is an improvement on the first one. I thought the first one was very dull. The second one, you can see personality bubbling up more. But also, I was surprised how quickly they started shifting to the other recruits and their backstories and stuff. I thought the second episode might have been too quick for that. It seemed aimless, a little not aimless, but a little meandering at times. Tara: [06:23] Yeah, I agree with that. I'm not sure that the orange is the new black sort of technique of an ensemble show is the way to go for this, or at least not that fast. Dave: [06:32] I mean, at least with Orange is a new black, we got a couple episodes of Piper outside and then Piper immediately inside, and that was your throughput. Tara: [06:39] Yeah. Dave: [06:41] But yeah. Tara: [06:41] Yes. I mean, they like a lot of them, I don't I still don't know their names after two episodes, including like the the twins. It's like, okay, one is named John. And the other is someone Bowman, like it's they're Yeah. Sarah: [06:52] Not John, someone Bowman. Dave: [06:54] Yeah. Why don't the Marines everybody's got their nice little yellow marine shirts with the red lettering why don't they put their names on the back, like hockey uniforms? Tara: [07:02] Thank you. Sarah: [07:03] Yeah. Dave: [07:04] I think I've solved the army I know, I did it purposefully, just to piss off the Marines listening. Tara: [07:06] Oh my god, don't say the army. Sarah: [07:06] Thank God, finally. Tara: [07:08] It's different. Yeah. A show set in 1990 is now considered a period piece. Are we all okay with that? Because I'm not. Dave: [07:19] Is this during Don't Ask, Don't Tell, or just before? Sarah: [07:19] No. Tara: [07:22] It would be before. Yes, I misspoke when I said that on the main episode. Sarah: [07:23] Before. Tara: [07:25] This is because it's pre-Bill Clinton. Sarah: [07:26] Yeah, that was Clinton. Tara: [07:28] Yes. Sarah: [07:29] I mean, and then there's the fact that Miles Heiser, who I and I alone probably remember from Thirteen Reasons Why, Is 31. Tara: [07:36] Mhm. Sarah: [07:39] I mean, he's only, quote, only serving like 23. Tara: [07:39] Yeah. Sarah: [07:43] But man, the moisturizer on this on this kid. Tara: [07:48] He is dewy. Sarah: [07:48] Yeah, there are build problems with this. Like I said, it's not perfect, but he is very charming, and Liam O is his friend. McCaffey is really great, like very watchable, kind of doing a lot but not doing too much. Yeah, sort of trying to tell various actors apart. It's not hard to tell which ones are British or Australian, I'll tell you that. For free, because the minute the screaming starts, that's when hard R goes out the window. Not perfect, should have been more processy, but in terms of like getting to know some of these characters, I liked it a lot. I thought it was good. Tara: [08:25] Yeah. Dave: [08:26] Yeah, I mean, it's hard to do an army boot camp thing without walking the footsteps of other shows and other movies, but Figure it out. Like, there's gotta be something where you can just cliff notes that whole part of it and just get to what you want to talk about. It's a lot when you've seen it. I mean, at a certain point when you're creating something, you want to tell the whole story, and your experience of that is that you had to go through all that shit. Tara: [08:50] Yeah. Dave: [08:51] But then also the media savvy watcher, or God, even just like a regular watcher, has seen this so many times. Tara: [08:58] Mm-hmm. Sarah: [08:58] Yeah. Dave: [08:58] That you can shorthand this stuff. And I know there's a compulsion not to do it when you're a creator because you do want that A to Z. Tara: [09:05] Yes. Dave: [09:06] This is my life, but you're living in the real world. Sarah: [09:07] Yeah. Tara: [09:08] Right. And if you're basing it on someone's memoir, too. Sarah: [09:10] Yeah. Tara: [09:12] But yeah, if you're introducing magical realism, like you said, with the like. Cameron has this sort of twin, this double that ur appears and speaks to him. Dave: [09:17] Yes. Tara: [09:20] Like if you're going to that well already, like You could do some kind of super stylized, you know, quick motion, or this is what it felt like. It was like summer camp, you know, but crazy. Like do some kind of heightened version of the beats that we've seen. Dave: [09:34] And I imagined everybody with their actual hair so we could tell them apart. Tara: [09:38] Exactly, sure, yes. Or even have a thing where he's like, and here are the other guys in my platoon: X, Y, Z, A, B, you know, like. I don't love a narrator, but sometimes that's more necessary than others. But, you know. Sarah: [09:54] Yeah. Well, the point of this is that he was the pink marine. Then I think maybe you do need something like I mean, I understand why the whatever angel on his shoulder conceit is being used, but A voiceover would have been better and would have let it be more processy about, like, here are the like mental tricks or Ways of like code switching that I was using at this time and during this particular part of boot camp that even you, you know, young Children recently arrived from space know is the Marine boot camp experience. Do a different take. Dave: [10:34] Yeah, if the narrator they're doing like a Daniel Stern thing, where it was a much older narrator looking back, that could have been Valuable because then you get a perspective that perhaps this character in the time doesn't quite have. Sarah: [10:40] Yeah. Oh, yeah. Good point. Good point. I'd also like to register a complaint about how much barf I'm having to put up with lately in the course of this podcast, universe. Dave: [10:54] Yeah. Sarah: [10:56] Like, I didn't want the meaning of boot. To be that, but nice and chunky. Dave: [11:01] It's the hidden meaning. Sarah: [11:02] Like, thank you. He just ate out of the garbage. We get it. Please learn to imply chunks. Dave: [11:07] Yeah, I was thinking about you during that scene. They're eating on a timer and he doesn't quite finish his meal. And then the drill sergeant, after he throws away the rest of his meal, the garbage makes him eat it. And he's not doing well with it. And yeah, thoughts and prayers for Sarah D. Bunting there for sure. Sarah: [11:23] Yeah, I mean, look, experienced emetophobes know that that's what's coming, and you just find something else to do in a different part of the office until it's over, and then you are back. Dave: [11:33] How long would you last in boot camp? Like realistically, when would be the part where you just lie down and like, all right, you know, put me in jail. Tara: [11:40] Uh first run first time I had to run anywhere. Dave: [11:41] That's fine. Yeah. Sarah: [11:43] Yeah, first run. Dave: [11:44] Yeah. Sarah: [11:45] I don't if I got as far as like the head shaving, no problem. Dave: [11:49] Yeah. Sarah: [11:50] Done it. Dave: [11:50] Mhm. Sarah: [11:51] The having to wolf down food that probably has beef somewhere in it, it's not going to go great. Dave: [11:55] Yeah. Sarah: [11:57] But if they do actually have like a vegetarian marine boot camp portion. Tara: [12:02] I really doubt it. Dave: [12:02] Nah. Sarah: [12:03] And I survived that and have not pooped myself inside out. By the time you get to the pull-ups, it's over for Nana. Tara: [12:09] Yeah. Dave: [12:09] Yeah. I mean, maybe the bus ride there, honestly. Sarah: [12:13] Oh, yeah, true. Dave: [12:14] Talking to people. Tara: [12:15] I mean, speaking of poops, I mean, the terror shits on a the bus bathroom to boot camp are gotta be real rough, I would think. Sarah: [12:23] Yeah, oh, geez. Mm-hmm. Tara: [12:26] But as I said to Dave last night, there are a lot of similarities between the military and band. Dave: [12:32] Oh, yeah. Sarah: [12:35] Starting with Sexy uniforms Competition to play the sousaphone Yeah. Tara: [12:35] You got to line up straight. Dave: [12:37] Yeah. Tara: [12:37] There's marching, uniforms. Dave: [12:38] Mhm. Yeah. Tara: [12:42] You got to shower together. Dave: [12:43] Uhhuh. Tara: [12:44] People yell at you from a little elevated platform. Dave: [12:47] Yeah. Tara: [12:47] I'm just saying. Dave: [12:50] Lots of loud noises that give you PTSD. Tara: [12:53] Mm-hmm. It's true. What are the differences between a SUSE march and a drill instructor yelling at you? Dave: [13:02] Mhm. Tara: [13:02] Not too many. Dave: [13:03] Yeah. Sarah: [13:04] That Venn diagrams a circle. Dave: [13:06] That one guy in the battlefield playing with a triangle. Tara: [13:08] Yeah. Sarah: [13:16] Speaking of the Marine Corps band, here they are. Dave: [13:21] What if this was the theme they instead of using the trumpet to wake you up in the army, this is what they did each time? I think enlistment would go crazy high if that was the case. Tara: [13:45] Yes. Dave: [13:45] Listen to that every day. Fantastic. All right. This is Ask EHG, Sarah D. Bunting. I predict when the wheel is done, you will be the judge this week. Let's find out. It is Sarah. Sarah, you are the ask-ass EHG judge this week. What do we have? Sarah: [14:01] We have a question from Jovial Gent, who asked, Seeing fan art of Colombo and Batman made me think. This is what it made you think? What other TV detectives should team up with Batman, and how would those dynamics play out? Dave, you have an answer for this, but first I'd like to say that there was a runner with all of our answers, and I am interested to see if Dave's response fits in with that light motif. Dave: [14:29] Oh. Sarah: [14:29] Dave. Dave: [14:30] Okay. I didn't notice that. So I would like Gil Grissom to team up with Batman. Sarah: [14:34] Ooh, okay. Dave: [14:36] Mostly because I think they're two weirdos and I want to see weirdo versus weirdo dynamic and which weirdo sort of takes over. Sarah: [14:39] Mhm. Dave: [14:44] Not by force of will, but by the level of weirdosity they bring to it. Because I think at a certain point, the weirder one just sort of overpowers the other one, like bananas in a smoothie. Sarah: [14:55] I was just gonna say. Dave: [14:56] It's going to be Gil Grissom. I think Gil Grissom is a bigger weirdo than Batman. I think they both have similar issues, but I think Gil Grissom is more unmovable in his ways. So I think Batman Bruce Wayne is going to be wildered by Gil Grissom. Gil Grissom is going to take over. Batman will become the robin of this duo. It's crazy times. And off we go to the races, solving all manner of bug-related crimes in Gotham slash Vegas, which is now one city. Sarah: [15:26] Yeah, I also think, now that you mention it, that Grissom definitely co-opts Alfred. And various like tech for his own ends. Dave: [15:33] Yeah. Yeah. Sarah: [15:36] And Batman's just like, why am I even here? And Grissom and Alfred are both like, well, actually, we don't know. Dave: [15:42] Gil Grissom is very excited to go to the back cave to see all the species that are in the back cave. Tara: [15:47] Yes, bats and bugs, I feel like there's crossover there. Dave: [15:47] Yes. Tara: [15:50] Mm-hmm. Dave: [15:51] He actually banishes the bats from the back game because they're eating too many bugs. Sarah: [15:55] Well, that did not qualify with the light motif, which was across almost all responses. Batman teamed up with detectives who also find him insufferable and would knock him the fuck out before the first ad break. This took various forms. We had some finalists, including Leslie. Who said, When I think of Batman, I think of Adam West's Batman, who is now teaming up with the detectives on Law and Order. The detectives aren't big fans of how Batman races off to interview suspects, and when they eventually arrive, they are Constantly having to save him from diabolical contraptions. Lieutenant Van Buren can't stand him because he is constantly going over her head to the commissioner. The detectives are also confused when they go to arrest a suspect. The room is tilted at an angle that defies physics, and every time they use excessive force, the words pow and crack Appear over their heads. What they really don't like is that whenever they go to a strip club to interview someone, Batman starts doing the Batusi and won't stop until Briscoe joins him. I mean, you've really thought about this, and I salute you. Johnny S. A. says, I haven't watched very much of the lowdown yet, but I very much want to see the Batman Lee Raybon crossover. Same. But our winner this week is Elspeth. He should team up with Harriet Vane from Lord Peter Whimsey Mysteries, the one played by Harriet Walter on Masterpiece Harriet would stab him with a pencil to make him get over himself within about twenty minutes. Um, yeah, you had me at Harriet Walter, I'm not gonna lie. And uh, Elspeth, please contact Dave on Discord for your stickers. Dave: [17:33] Good job, everybody. Good job. All right, let's get into your questions for us this week. First one comes from Seth, he of the 15 Seconds of Fame. If you didn't like him, blame him. He made me make it. During the discussion of Lee Majors, Tara said his body type was akin to Adam Pally as an action star, which honestly sounds awesome. Please pick an older T V property for Adam to reboot into an action comedy. Tara Oh, exclamation point. Tara: [17:55] This was my fastest answer of the week. Let's see Adam Pally and John Gabris co-headlining a revived emergency. Sarah: [18:03] Ooh, uh-huh. Tara: [18:04] Emergency exclamation point, yep. Dave: [18:06] Yeah, all right, I can see that. Tara: [18:07] Mm-hmm. Sarah. Sarah: [18:09] Greatest American hero, definitely. The premise is basically that a suit has powers but no instruction manual, right? So I think that is a perfect fit with Pally's inevitably confident, whatever, Jack Black vibe on most shows that I've enjoyed him in. And that's going to go really poorly, and I can't wait to watch it. Dave: [18:29] I think the suit 2025 has spanks built in too, and that's going to be part of the formula. Sarah: [18:36] A lot of muffin top plots. Dave: [18:37] Yeah. Sarah: [18:37] Yep. Dave: [18:38] Well, I got two because I just thought of one. One is Adam 12, in which Adam plays 12 Adams. Sarah: [18:43] Mhm, yep. Dave: [18:43] That's all I got so far for that one. But my actual answer, and again, this was my quickest answer, too: Manimal. And you can turn into animals. Sarah: [18:50] Haha, sure. Tara: [18:51] Mm-hmm. Dave: [18:52] Yep. Ritten Z, you're given the opportunity to digitally replace Chevy Chase in every community episode. Who do you pick to replace him? Sarah, replace Chevy Chase in community. Sarah: [19:03] Jarrett Harris Dave Oh, yeah. Dave: [19:07] Uh-huh. James Franco, be careful what you wish for. Tara. Tara: [19:13] Larry Miller, I think, would actually not be that different. Dave: [19:14] Oh yeah, I think that's a good choice. Tara: [19:17] Mm-hmm. But less problematic, obviously. Dave: [19:20] Erica, your octopus friend. There's a city named Chevy Chase in Maryland. Please rename it for a more deserving Saturday Night Live actor. I wanted to go with something with the same sort of like flow to it. So in Maryland, we now have the city of Sherry O'Tary. All right. Tara: [19:37] I went with Jane Curtin, Maryland, and I don't think anyone would be mad about that, Sarah. Sarah: [19:43] John Love It's and here's why. Then the sign at the edge of town, which often has a little like Madison, New Jersey, for instance, is like, Welcome to the Rose City. In John Lovitts, Maryland, the sign reads, Get to Know Me. Dave: [19:59] The sign underneath says click it or yeah, that's the ticket. Tara: [20:03] Nice. Dave: [20:03] Thank you. Sarah: [20:04] Mm-hmm. Dave: [20:05] Alicia Skeptic, I'm watching Alias for the first time. Sarah: [20:05] Sure does. Dave: [20:08] What the fuck is up with the cricket? Tara: [20:11] I had no idea what this was in reference to. Dave: [20:13] I had to ask. Tara: [20:14] I looked at bo well, I looked it up and I found a Reddit Thread that apparently there's you can hear a cricket every time they have a parking garage meeting. Dave: [20:21] It dogged my memory. Tara: [20:22] I didn't remember that at all. Sarah: [20:23] And also, like, outside various embassies and like Widgetavia. Dave: [20:27] Yeah, the shooting everything at Burbank, and I guess they're not ADRing the whole scene. Tara: [20:27] Yeah. Sarah: [20:28] Yeah. Dave: [20:31] So you got this very loud cricket population in SoCal making themselves known. The answer is nature, I suppose. Tara: [20:39] Yeah. Sarah: [20:40] That thread was very funny. The like fanfic involving characters named Katie Didachenko. Tara: [20:46] Sure. Sarah: [20:48] Get out. Also, come sit next to us. Dave: [20:50] Ju True Beastie Boy's clip from last Extra Extra Hot Great brought me back to my most favorite mixtape ever. Which, though given to me over 30 years ago, I can still recall many of its songs. What is your most memorable mixtape and why? They call it mixed tape, which annoys me. I don't know why. Mixed tape sounds like a British person talking about mixed tapes. Tara: [21:11] Mixed, yes. Mm-hmm. Dave: [21:13] But, anyways, mixed tape or mixed tape, your preference. Sarah D. Bunting, favorite mixed tape ever. Sarah: [21:20] All right, reading directly from my notes. First of all, point of order. It's a mixtape, all one word. Not taking questions. This is settled law. Dave: [21:28] Okay. Sarah: [21:29] Now, actual answer is a tape made for me by an ex of mine, The Biscuit, in which he dropped in the first four bars of a Brian Austin Green rap track. which got as far as green rhyming pencil and utensil, and then Steve cut it off, plugged in a sound drop of himself, saying something like No, I can't do that to you. Here's some Johnny Barr. And then went to the next song on the tape. And I was on a road trip, and he'd like given me the tape for the car. And I almost wrecked, laughing right outside my anus, actually, in Connecticut on 95. Flawless timing, Steve. Well done. Honorable mention, of course, to the My So-Called Life Listies mix. I ran off hundreds of copies of that for people back in the 90s. So that is a great mixtape. And then sometimes people, as like a tip. for service would send me a mixtape that they had made. And a couple of those like remained in the row and were reconstituted on iTunes because they were really good. Tara. Tara: [22:32] David T. Cole made me a mixed C D when he first moved to LA and I was in grad school. I still think of it every time I hear one of the songs on it, shuffle up. Jail's Tumble, I think he accidentally put on it twice, but it didn't matter. It's a good song. Sarah: [22:47] Aw, yeah. Tara: [22:47] Dave, yes, yep. Dave: [22:48] Yeah, I remember I put that Pixicado 5 song on that. That's all I remember that. And then it was what wasn't the whole because I made CD art and everything. Wasn't it like a picture of macaroni and cheese instead of like American diet or something like that? Tara: [22:55] Mm-hmm. That sounds right. Dave: [23:00] Yeah. I don't know, unless Tara did, and I forgot that anybody has ever made me a mixtape. So I guess nobody loves Dave enough to make him a mixtape. Tara: [23:11] Yeah, I don't know if I I don't know if I did sorry Yes. Dave: [23:15] That's okay. That's fine. Sarah: [23:17] Everyone make Dave mixtapes. Dave: [23:19] Yeah, make me mix tapes. Sarah: [23:20] That's your assignment. Dave: [23:21] Yeah, so lazy now. All you do is make a playlist. Who cares? You don't know me. And with stop trying to bring me joy and with an E. Sarah: [23:30] Jesus. Okay, fine. Dave: [23:37] What's the movie you saw many, many, many times in the theaters on its first run? I think the one I saw the most in the theaters was probably Raiders of the Lost Ark. Including the last time about six months after it first came out. I'm pretty sure it was a May release, and I saw it near Christmas with my dad, who finally wanted to see it six months later for some reason. Parents not big moviegoers. Sarah: [23:58] Wow. Dave: [24:00] And we did see it. And by the time we saw it, we were the only people in the theaters. That's the only time this ever happened to me. And it also brought me a memory of back in the day, you would find out movie listings in your newspaper. You would have the listings for the theater and it would show you the show times, but then they would splurge for a display ad for certain movies, right? Tara: [24:20] Mm-hmm. Dave: [24:20] And then it would be like, ooh, And then the display ads would have like, now in its X week or X month or something like that. Sarah: [24:27] Mm-hmm. Dave: [24:28] And I do remember it was something like, now it is like 34th week at the thing. I'm like, wow. Sarah: [24:33] Wow. Dave: [24:33] So memory unlocked. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so raise the lost arc. Sarah. Sarah: [24:38] I am not a big in theaters repeater as a rule, Bring It On being the glorious exception. And I think I also saw Desperately Seeking Susan a couple times. In a theater, which I don't regret. I rewatched that recently and it actually kind of holds up for what it is. Madonna's Brilliant. Tara. Tara: [24:55] I'll see a movie more than once. Bring It On is the only one I've seen four times that I recall. Freaki or Friday, as I mentioned recently, three. There's a bunch I saw twice. Mamma Mia 2, the Mamma Mia sequel. Dave: [25:07] Did you misunderstand that you're you're supposed to see each one with the number in the movie? Like if they made a Mama Maya three, you would see it thrice? Tara: [25:14] Just worked out that way. Sarah: [25:14] Hmm, okay. Tara: [25:16] Hustlers, I definitely saw twice. Fargo, I think we both saw twice together. Dave: [25:19] Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah. Do you remember when we saw Big Lebowski in that preview in LA? Tara: [25:25] I do. Dave: [25:26] We were like, you want to see a movie? Tara: [25:26] Yes. Dave: [25:27] We're like, all right, fine. It turned out to be Big Lebowski. Tara: [25:29] Yeah. Sarah: [25:30] Oh, wow, nice. Dave: [25:31] Yeah. Tara: [25:31] Mm-hmm. We got to fill out cards and everything. Dave: [25:34] Yep. Dr. Calhoun has one just for Tara. What would a Chicken Sisters Going Dutch crossover be like? Tara's two favorite shows ever now combined. Tara: [25:43] Thank you. Mhm. Dave: [25:44] What's happening? Tara: [25:45] On the way back from their big trip to Italy, Nancy, Leah Thompson, and Gus, Wendy Malak, from the Chicken Sisters have a layover in Amsterdam. This is based on real events. That's how the season, that's how season two ends. They're going to Italy. So they have a layer over in Amsterdam. Maggie Taylor Miziak from Going Dutch is on her weekly off-base trip for specialty office supplies when she recognizes Nancy from Kitchen Clash. Maggie, who already runs the best mess hall in the entire U. S. military, convinces Nancy to come back and teach her chef the Chicken Sisters fried chicken recipe. That's the Chicken Sisters half of the crossover. In the Going Dutch episode, Maggie tries to run interference between Gus and Maggie's father, Colonel Quinn, Dennis Leary, to keep them from falling in love. Dave: [26:28] Thank you, Tara. Diatho, if there could be a specially designed bike for a sea lion, could you beat it in a triathlon? Tara: [26:32] Period. Question mark. Dave: [26:37] Thank you, Tara. Tara: [26:39] Definitely not. Sarah. Sarah: [26:41] Didn't you just get off name grounding, Dietho? Do we have to banish you again? This question is debated. But also no, Dave. Dave: [26:49] I couldn't beat a bike alone just sitting there on the sidewalk without anybody to ride it. So I'm going to join the chorus and say absolutely not. Tara: [26:58] Mm-hmm. Sarah: [26:58] Oh. Dave: [26:59] Beth, can you each name something worse than jazz? Sarah, worse than jazz. Sarah: [27:05] Raisins. Jazz does not commit ID fraud by lurking in an oatmeal cookie uninvited. Dave. Dave: [27:13] Nuclear army get in which your melting ear nerves provide one last jazzy whine as you de-atomize. Tara: [27:20] Racism, but seriously, rogue dog poop that Racinism, no. Dave: [27:24] Did you say racism or raisinism? Tara: [27:28] My actual answer is dog poop that has not been scooped. Dog poop in public. Dave: [27:33] Really? Worse than jazz? Tara: [27:34] Yeah. Yeah. Dave: [27:35] Hm. I think I'd rather pick up dog shit. Sarah: [27:38] You don't have to pick jazz out of the treads of your sneaker, I'm just saying. Dave: [27:42] Yeah, Jazz sticks with you, Bill. Sarah: [27:45] Does it? Dave: [27:46] Yeah. Tara: [27:46] Not like that. Sarah: [27:47] It also stinks. Yeah, I see your point, sort of. Dave: [27:51] Ju Chu is back. Where do you stand on granola bars, healthy or just candy? And have you ever tried the Cadbury Brunch Bar, England's greatest gift to the world? And if a friend asked you to get some of them when they travel to England recently, wouldn't you bring them back more than one measly box? Sarah: [28:08] Oh my God. Tara: [28:09] Glad to see our podcast is being used to work out personal beef between people. Sarah: [28:13] Too late. Dave: [28:15] I really hope we get a question next week from the other person on this side of the equation. Tara: [28:20] Did you know how much these boxes cost? Wouldn't you be grateful if someone brought them back for you? Sarah: [28:26] Oh my god, I can't wait. Dave: [28:28] What would you do if you had a bitch friend like Judrew? Sarah: [28:33] I'd make him listen to jazz and eat oatmeal raisin cookies. How dare you? Dave: [28:38] We welcome your petty beast to ask you guys, G. Tara: [28:39] Of course, absolutely. Sarah: [28:40] Yeah, I yes, absolutely. Dave: [28:42] All right, first answer, it's candy. Tara: [28:44] Yeah. Dave: [28:45] I have the opposite problem of you, whereas I become the guy that you buy a shitload of coffee crisp bars whenever you go back to Canada. And I really don't eat 'em now, so I've been telling people to please stop, but then like another box of 30 shows up for my birthday or Christmas, whatever people I think purposefully forget so they have something, anything to send me. You don't have to send me any presents. I'm fine. I'm old. I got everything I need. I don't need another 30 coffee crisis. When they come, I'm like, I should just throw these out. Tara's like, I'll eat them. And then, like, she eats one, and I eat 29 because they're in the house. That's what happens. Sarah: [29:20] Just send him here. Dave: [29:22] All right. Sarah: [29:23] I mean, it depends on the bar. Mostly they're just candy, but they're deeply handy on long solo car trips. I have not tried the brunch bar. I suspect that it contains the dread raisin, which is why I would tend to avoid it. All right, noted. And the friend would have to make do with one box. I'm an overpacker as it is. And I mean, give me a break. I have to bring stuff home for myself, like, you know, crunchy bars. Sorry, mate. Tara. Tara: [29:48] Yeah, it's somewhere between healthy and candy. Some of them probably have more sugar than some candy, though. But you know, who cares? It's it's it's a fig leaf for making you feel like you're eating something less terrible than a chocolate bar. I have not tried a brunch bar, but I looked it up. It is, quote, a delicious combination of oat flakes, bran flakes, krispies, like rice kris, and peanuts. with a drizzle of honey and dipped in delicious Cadbury milk chocolate. So, I mean, speaking of a fig leaf, it's not a granola bar. Dave: [30:16] So there's no granola. Tara: [30:18] It doesn't say it's a granola bar. Dave: [30:19] Okay. But it started the question with where do you see any granola bars? And then here's something that's not a granola bar. Tara: [30:24] Right, but this is like, I mean, it's clearly supposed to make you think it's a granola bar, whether it has it in or not. Sarah: [30:26] But it's candy. Tara: [30:32] And it's so when it says dipped in milk chocolate. At least based on the photo, it's literally like just dipped on the bottom and the sides. So it's like missing just a top layer of chocolate. Dave: [30:41] Yeah, but that's fine because then you can see what's in it. Tara: [30:44] Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. Dave: [30:44] I'm not against that. Four sides of chocolate, three sides of chocolate. I'm not going to notice, but I appreciate being able to see into it like a delicious treat x-ray. Tara: [30:54] Yes, but also this is clearly marketing. So it's like, look, this is healthier because it's it's it's 25% less chocolate. Dave: [30:59] It's only got three sides of chocolate. Sarah: [30:59] Yeah. Tara: [31:03] Anyway, if I were the brunch bar mule, I would certainly bring back at least two boxes, personally. Dave: [31:09] Yeah, but those are probably pretty heavy, so yeah, but when you're dealing with, you know Oh, I thought it was like a Costco's like 30 to a box. Sarah: [31:11] Oh, look who's better than us. Tara: [31:12] I don't I don't think they're that he I how many do you think are in a box, like six? Sarah: [31:13] I see. Dave: [31:22] Yeah, they only brought you six back. All right. I'm starting to get it. I'm starting to get it now, Jujreu. Sarah: [31:28] I know there's also like a melting factor. I don't know. Dave: [31:31] Yeah. Tara: [31:31] Right. Dave: [31:32] If you're getting something from England and it's supposed to be kind of granola-y, like it's good for you, don't look into it. Tara: [31:36] Mm-hmm. Dave: [31:39] It should have black currants in it. Tara: [31:39] Right. Mm, yeah. Sarah: [31:42] Ooh. Tara: [31:42] I agree. Sarah: [31:43] Okay. Dave: [31:43] All right. Clip: [31:44] Enough! I'm so sick and tired of hearing you people talk about food, food, food. Dave: [31:48] Topicles has our last question. All right, buckle in because it's got a few questions here. We'll take them one at a time. Since it's supposed to be fall, autumn, some this or that questions for you. Knit, sweaters, cardigans, or hoodies, sweatshirts. Tara: [32:03] Sweatshirts Dave Oh, okay. Dave: [32:05] Sweatshirts, no. Hoodies, yes. I'm going to actually divide that second option. Well, because hoodies and sweatshirts are very different things. And here's why. I don't like pulling Clothes over except for a t-shirt. And I don't really pull it over until I'm all alone in the part of the house where nobody else can see my disgusting body. Tara: [32:17] Well I can teach you how to take off a sweatshirt so that you don't take your t-shirt with you. Dave: [32:23] And then I'll pull it over. But if I got A sweatshirt or something like that that I have to pull over in public because suddenly it's too hot. Then I run the danger of also pulling up my t-shirt at the same time, and everybody will see my man boobs and they'll fall in love with me. It's too late for me. I'm too old and I'll never learn any more. Sarah: [32:45] Oh, my God. Tara: [32:45] You're making the wrong distinction. Hoodies are pullovers too sometimes. Dave: [32:49] No, but hoodies can have zippers Hoodies, we have both zipped and unzipped inside of hoodies, but no sweatshirts have zippers. Tara: [32:49] What you want is a zip hoodie. But I'm saying that's the distinction you're making. Sarah: [32:52] Yeah. Tara: [32:59] No, some hood some some hoodies are sweatshirt. Sarah: [33:00] That's not true. Zip up hooded sweatshirt is a sweatshirt. Tara: [33:03] Yeah. Sarah: [33:05] I'm wearing one right now. Dave: [33:06] Mm. See, for me, a hoodie No. Sarah: [33:07] Sweatshirt, hoodie, zip, bunting on the pocket. Dave: [33:11] No, you're no, as soon as there's a hood, it stops being a sweatshirt and it becomes a hoodie. Tara: [33:15] You're wrong, Sarah. Dave: [33:16] I'm right. Phone in. Call me personally and tell me I'm right. Seven three seven don't send me copy. Sarah: [33:21] Send him some coffee crisps while you're up. Tara: [33:24] Sarah The sun sets. Sarah: [33:25] Ju True I would prefer not to choose, but despite the fact that I am wearing a hooded sweatshirt at the moment with a zip on the front, shut up, Dave. Dave: [33:32] Hoodie Sunrises or Sunsets When's the last time I've seen a sunrise? Sarah: [33:35] I'm going to vote knit sweaters and cardies. Tara: [33:41] Dave. Dave: [33:43] Never. Never seen one. Sarah: [33:45] Yeah, I voted sunrises. Sorry. Dave: [33:47] Apple everything or pumpkin everything. All right. Tara: [33:51] Pumpkin, Dave. Dave: [33:52] I mean, neither, but judicious application of pumpkin spice in certain areas, I'm okay with. But just not like pumpkin spice laundry detergent. Like, I don't need that. Sarah: [34:04] Actually, that sounds kind of great. Dave: [34:05] No, it's yeah. Sarah: [34:06] I voted Apple. I guess I'm fired. Dave: [34:09] It's just that Apple I don't really like. I like the idea of apple over pumpkin spice, just be so I don't have to be a pumpkin spice person. But there's not a lot of things I like applied to flavor. Apple pie doesn't do it for me. Sarah: [34:21] Well, it doesn't really translate to as wide a variety of things because the actual pumpkin, like the spice part of pumpkin spice is the point. Dave: [34:24] Exactly. Tara: [34:30] Yes. Sarah: [34:30] Apple-flavored shit. Like, I like apple tea, but I don't like, I like the taste of it, but then the smell. I'm like, this is not a success. I mean, it's harder, but if it's like down to pies, apple all day. Tara: [34:43] Well, I I bought pumpkin cupcakes last week that had cream cheese frosting on the theory that they would probably just taste like carrot cake without the shreds of carrot, which Dave likes carrot cake. Sarah: [34:46] Oh, they're so good. Tara: [34:54] And I think I was right. It's just it's the same spice blend for carrot cake or pumpkin. Sarah: [34:57] Yeah. I just wish carrot cake could exist without raisins. Speaking of light motifs. Tara: [35:04] Well, you have to make it yourself, yeah. Dave: [35:04] I'm sure they can. Yeah. Sarah: [35:07] Yeah, fuck that. Make it myself. What am I an animal? Dave: [35:12] The cool girl or guy fall boots or regular tennis shoes. I need an explanation description of what cool girl fall boots are. Tara: [35:22] Like ankle boots. Dave: [35:23] Oh, okay. Tara: [35:24] Boots, if I'm in a boot climate, which I rarely am, Dave. Dave: [35:27] Whatever's easiest to put on, probably tennis shoes, I'm gonna guess. And when I say easiest to put on, I mean tie the laces once and never untie or tie them again. Just smush my foot in there until it fits. If I have to do a little jig in the vestibule by the door so that my hiking shoes finally pop on properly, I will spend a minute doing that rather than taking the laces off. Sarah: [35:50] Unlace and relays. Dave: [35:51] Mm-hmm. Tara: [35:51] Mm-hmm. Sarah: [35:52] Oh, yeah, the the Dan Brady school. Um, yeah, boots for me. Dave: [35:56] Okay. Last one. I think only for Sarah and Tara, but maybe guys wear them too. Shackets or no shackets? Tara: [36:03] I don't know where this idea that this is a lady garment came from. There's so much menswear. There's a whole Kohl's commercial with Ellie Kemper. Dave: [36:10] Okay. Rewind Shackets R which is When you say shirt, you mean like a button shirt? Tara: [36:12] Shirt jacket. Sarah: [36:15] Yeah, like with a quilted lining. Tara: [36:16] It's the style of a shirt with the sh with the weight of a jacket. Yes. Sarah: [36:23] Yeah, like a button-down, like LL bean plaid, but then it has like a Sherpa lining or quilt quilted inside. Dave: [36:28] Okay. Tara: [36:29] Yeah, you you have several of these. Dave: [36:29] Oh, I do. Tara: [36:32] Yes, you do. You bought a plaid one last year. Dave: [36:35] Oh, okay. Tara: [36:37] Yeah. Dave: [36:37] Shackets. Tara: [36:38] Uh-huh. Dave: [36:39] Yeah, I thought over 50 you're supposed to get a shot for that. Tara: [36:43] That's shingles, dear. Dave: [36:44] I know. Thank you. Tara: [36:46] No, I don't particularly like that style for myself, but I like it on others, including Dave. Dave. Dave: [36:51] I guess jackets since I own one, but I don't know if I've actually worn it yet because it's still in October. Tara: [36:56] It's so hot. Dave: [36:58] I mean, I'm sorry I don't have the America. It's still over 30 Celsius. Tara: [37:02] Mm-hmm. Dave: [37:03] Every day here. So, Sarah Uha I wouldn't have guessed that the angriest Sarah would have gotten on this episode so far is Shackett's syllable count. Sarah: [37:05] Do not call them shackets, they're shirt jackets. It's one extra fucking syllable. Shackets is ridiculous. I am not a crackpot. And furthermore, for me, no, that is some frumpy Mrs. Poole shit on this body. But I think for men, they're great. Clip: [37:29] That's yeah, that's a good idea. Dump it. Dave: [37:31] All right, seekant. As your ask, ask ESG question. For you, dear listeners, it is this. I recently watched Gorsesi's Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore and was kind of surprised that the last Third of that movie got turned into a wacky sitcom with Alice. Pick a movie from the past 10 years and turn it into a mildly inappropriate to its origins TV show. What's the show and who's In it. So, a little bit of creative homework for you guys. Sarah: [37:57] Oh boy. Dave: [38:00] Go to the Ask Asks EHG channel on Discord. Sarah: [38:00] This is going to get wild. Dave: [38:03] Or if you're not on Discord, but you have a really good answer and you want to be part of the prize pool, just Email me david at coal. fyi and I will stick it into the pool for you. And we'll be back soon with a judgment on that. Whoever wins. Gets the We Are All Domer sticker, gets the that's bullshit sticker, and whatever else I have in the box waiting for you. And I have a boat Nine people that are waiting on their stickers. One of these days I will remember to pack them and send them out. So don't worry if you haven't got it yet. It's just that I'm a lazy fuck. It is time for the tiny cannon. Let's see who is presenting this week. Clip: [38:43] Hi everybody, there are arguments to be made about many lines from season five of Friends. that could be considered for the tiny canon of line readings, like They don't know that we know they know we know or My Sandwich but I'm here to propose one line that I have personally used every time I have to move something heavy or bulky It's been 26 years, and this scene is still funny to me. I hope that you will agree. I just don't think it's gonna fit! Oh, yeah, it will. Come on, up, up, up, up! Yes! Oh, here we go! Pivot! Pivot pivot pivot pivot pivot shut up shut up Americans love a winner. Tara: [39:44] Thank you, Mademoiselle Caroline. I feel like I should probably go last. So Sarah, why don't you go first? Sarah: [39:50] Thank you, Mademoiselle Caroline. The evolution or devolution of the pronunciation of pivot here is so good. I know that I tend to be the Ross is underrated, guy. But maybe it's actually that I am a Schwimmerian. I just sometimes think he's doing the most thoughtful stuff in a given scene, even if his character is being a butt. Dave: [40:14] Sarah, can you be a Schwimmerian and a T V Trustorian at the same time? Sarah: [40:20] Let's find out together. Dave: [40:21] Let's find out. Sarah: [40:23] That's my arm. Bit right before this in the scene is very funny, also. And hat tip to Matthew Perry and Jennifer Aniston selling that an obvious, like, cardboard structure with a drape over it weighs a half ton, like an actual couch would. Great scene, great pick, but for David Schwimmers, just sort of like managing to put different mustard and like If you wrote out each pronunciation, it would be a series of different diacritical marks over the vowels every time, like pepper. It's so good. I did not expect to be re-charmed by it again, but I can never Prevent myself from laughing. So, yeah, excellent pick, excellent presentation. Dave: [41:03] Yeah, it's definitely one of the top five most iconic moments in Friends, and it's all down to Swimmer just being a madman. Sarah: [41:03] Dave. Dave: [41:11] In the moment. If that couch was real, I think Chandler would have died at the point where he gets pinned between the banister and it. Sarah: [41:16] Oh, my God, yeah. Yeah, no, that's broken ribs galore. Dave: [41:23] This presentation, which was about 40 seconds long, was exactly as long as it needed to be. Remember, Pivot? And you're like, yep, that was great. But for me, I'm just going to say, I know there was talk, you know, every time we have like a special presentation, a special format, canon presentation, like we had. With Richard Lawson doing the traders one last week, or this week, rather, earlier this week, people are like, that should go into the canon presentation canon. I don't want to get that meta. But if there was, I would definitely put Carolyn's. Pronunciation of my sandwich, in which she turns into Gollum from Lord of the Rings for a moment. Or not, you know, that scene where Ian Holm is like Goes crazy for one second because he's like thinking about the ring and he loves the ring so much, or whatever that is. That is what I imagine happened to her in the moment. Sarah: [42:08] Yeah, just like French Cthulhu. Dave: [42:10] My sandwich! I'm gonna cut that. Sarah: [42:14] Sandwich Oh my God, gorgeous. Dave: [42:15] I'm gonna try to remember whenever we talk about a sandwich in the future, that's absolutely going to be Part of it. Back to the actual subject at hand. Pivot, fantastic. Great. Still funny. Tara: [42:26] Yep. Dave: [42:26] Still funny after all these years. Sarah: [42:27] Mm-hmm. Tara: [42:28] Yeah, I'm sure I've watched this episode a hundred times. It still made me laugh this time watching it for this purpose. Sarah, tell myself Ross is not one of my favorite characters and friends, but so many of the show's best moments are his. This is definitely one of them. And he truly, as you said, does not say it the same way twice. And it wouldn't just be diacritical marks in the script. It would also be the punctuation, whereas something, sometimes it's pivot and sometimes it's pivot. And then at the end of the scene, they're all stuck. They've gotten the couch stuck. And then Chandler goes, What did you mean when you said pivot in a seemingly sincere way? Such a funny capper to the scene. Anyway, yes, obviously, this is an excellent pick. Dave: [43:13] All right, let's make this official Sarity Bunting tiny line delivery cannon for pivot, yay or nay. Tara: [43:24] Yes. Dave: [43:24] Me too. So pivot from friends. You are hereby inducted into the extra hot great tiny line delivery cannon. Clip: [43:37] Yup! And will not tolerate a loser. Nope! Dave: [43:41] It is time to discover who are our not-quite winners and not quite losers of the week. I will go first. Two game shows that Networks are producing because they're cheap and dumb. And we've got Clue. It's going to be a competition show at Netflix. Sounds like they. Got bit by the traitor bug, and now they really want a piece of that action. I'm guessing it's going to be exactly like traders, but with clue props, yeah. Sarah: [44:01] Mm-hmm. Yeah, with branded props that you can buy. At our Netflix store, the Todom store. Dave: [44:12] Ugh. And then people still throwing money at Jimmy Fallon for some reason. He's going to be producing the NBC version of Wordle. You're going to make Wordle a game show, which I think was already called Lingo, but. Let's just go with it, I suppose. Tara: [44:25] Yep. Sarah: [44:25] Mm-hmm. RIP. Tara: [44:27] No, it's back with RuPaul boasting. Dave: [44:29] Lingo is? Tara: [44:30] Mm-hmm. Sarah: [44:30] Oh yeah! Dave: [44:31] Huh, that doesn't seem like a good match. Okay. Loser, not quite, is the TV Academy as Seth Rogan jokes about how meaningless his Emmys for the studio are. It's not like it's an Oscar, he was quoted. And I know that's mean and he shouldn't say it, but he's also right. Tara: [44:46] He's right. Sarah: [44:48] They had an old runner about that in Sopranos. When Timothy Daly's character is trying to sell his Emmy, and the guy's like, I'll give you 10 bucks, or something like that. Dave: [44:58] I think somebody put in a question for this. It was like, you know, what are your best and most disappointing Emmy wins? I just tossed it because I just don't care. Tara: [45:05] Who cares? Dave: [45:06] Don't care. I didn't watch the Emmys. Industry award shows are dumb. Tara: [45:10] Yeah. I mean, you can look at any years past winter and realize like, okay, this doesn't matter. Like how many anyway, we don't have to get into it. Dave: [45:19] Yep. All right, Sarah D. Bunting, who is your not quite winner of the week? Sarah: [45:23] My winner is Oceans franchise, fans. What is this doing in a TV podcast? Well, it's a Poppyfields movie, is Oceans 11. Plus, Clooney was on ER and E slash R, so we claim him. Apparently, Ocean's 14's budget is a go. Everybody's gonna be back. That might not be a great thing in some cases, but I am here for it, regardless, obviously. My not quite loser of the week is Bill Belichick's UNC football documentary, Scrapped at Hulu amid reports that the team is, quote, a complete disaster. First of all, these are not reports. It is. There was so much media traffic about him and his child's GF before the season even started, and how she was like managing interviews and dressing him for Talking head interviews, and this was probably never going to go well. But really, the losers are us, the viewer, because this documentary would have been such enjoyable Schadenfreude, and we don't get to see it. So. Yeah, sorry, Bill. Tara. Tara: [46:31] My not quite winner is Bob Ross Inc. They've announced a series of auctions of Ross's Paintings, most of which are not held by private collectors, to benefit local PBS stations, which is very cool. My not quite loser of the week recruits Teresa Judice and Eva Marcell, who followed their Bravo sister Brittany Cartwright out of Special Forces' world's toughest test. They actually stayed in long enough to be eliminated the usual way. But like Teresa is a competitive bodybuilder. Like, you should have functional strength to get further than this. Sarah: [47:04] Yeah I know No, I'm not sure if I can do it. Tara: [47:06] That's kind of a. Not really a good commercial for your trainer, I would say. But, you know, they're both still alive, as far as we know, I guess. And we welcome in our grandpas for the extra credit segment. Remember. We are still in the midst of a campaign. So, if you can kick your pledge up to the $5 level, you will get so much more, including so much more of this very episode that we just finished recording for an hour. But we're glad you're here now to hear us talk about TV's most important smelly things. Smells can be good. Smells can be bad. Smelled on T V are something we have to take on faith since we can't usually smell them ourselves. But when odor is part of a narrative, we're probably going to remember how it's described and evoked. So I have asked my fellow panelists. To bring three of TV's most important smelly things to the table so we could all take a big whiff. And I'll go first because it's my topic, and I'm sure we all had this on our list. And I want to claim it for myself. It is Jerry Seinfeld's car in the episode The Smelly Car of Seinfeld after a valet Parks' car. Jerry and Elaine get in it, and then they both are horrified by the smell of such noxious B. O. that it has gotten off the O is off of the B and has lodged itself in his car. He tries multiple attempts to detail it. It gets stuck to Elaine. She has to bathe in tomato juice. The best line of the episode probably is when he asks if she can smell that, and she says, What am I hard of smelling? She's not. She can smell it. So, Jerry Seinfeld's car from the smelly car is my first important smelly things. Clip: [48:51] Well, what are you gonna do? I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm selling that car. You selling the car? You don't understand what I'm up against. This is a force more powerful than anything you can imagine. Even Superman would be helpless against this kind of stench. And I'll take anything I can get for it. Maybe I'll buy it. Are you crazy? Don't you understand what I'm saying to you? This isn't just an odor. You need a priest to get rid of this thing. I still smell. You see? Tara: [49:25] So good, Sarah. Sarah: [49:28] Yeah, Jerry Seinfeld's acting was not usually much, but when he was like legitimately outraged by something like this, it It did hit a certain gear, I will say. My first one is Drea's Tamales in episode 2 of Primo, The Cookout. It Source of so many foundational references for me now, but basically the backstory there is that Drea, who is like the lead mom character, has been bragging on her sort of ad hoc. recipe substitutions for tamales for like decades, not knowing that her brothers have been sneaking in to fix her shit because she's going rogue with like canned tuna, cinnamon and horseradish. Like, there's a whole runner about, like, do you ever see? I forget what the second one was, like, some volcano movie. It's like that, but your butt. It comes down to Drea not believing them when this uh subterfuge is revealed to her. So at the cook out there's a tamale cook off and Maya, Primo's putative. Lady friend smells hers and then like hurls it away reflexively and then apologizes. She's like, I don't know why I did that, but all she had to do was smell it. It hits one of the brothers and like crumples down the front of his sweatshirt, and he inhales and then gags. So apparently, it smells as disgusting as it sounds and looks and as we hear tastes. So, yeah, that's a very important smelly thing because it led to finally some truth and reconciliation amongst all the siblings on Primo. And also, it's just funny. Like Roly continuing to increase the level of disaster, but for your butt is just I mean, it's good T V. That's all I'm going to say. Dave. Dave: [51:11] That muffled collective voice you heard about a minute ago was people yelling, Dante's peak. Tara: [51:17] Yes. Mm-hmm. Dave: [51:20] My first thought for this actually wasn't the Seinfeld car, it was this. Clip: [51:31] What's wrong, Ren? Stippy, I've been a fool. I should have brushed my teeth, but now my teeth, they are gone. And all I have left are tinky holes. Dave: [51:48] Stinky holes. Oh, what a great episode of Red and Stimpy that was. I was trying to find that particular clip, and for some reason, that part is hard to find. The one that you find is the beaver in his mouth chewing his. Tara: [51:56] Huh. Sarah: [52:00] Yanking the nerve and chomping on it. Dave: [52:00] . Tara: [52:00] Uh-huh. Yeah. Sarah: [52:03] My God, yes. Dave: [52:04] And then Wren is like pulling the nerves out one by one with tweezers and is making this very 1960s boink like Serial commercial noise, like those from Quisp or something like that. Tara: [52:08] Mhm. Yeah. Sarah: [52:14] Awful Quisp Yeah. Tara: [52:14] Yeah. Mm-hmm. Dave: [52:16] It's very, very disturbing. But stinky holes was absolutely my first go-to thought for this exercise. Tara: [52:24] I've told this story before, but I've the first time I saw that episode was the day after I got all four of my wisdom teeth out, and it was really traumatic. Dave: [52:32] Yeah. Tara: [52:33] But very memorable. Dave: [52:34] All right, back to the top of the order. Tara: [52:36] Back to the top of the order with me. It is just collectively Homer Simpson. We are told in an early episode, his personal hygiene is beyond reproach in a Above reproach, thank you, by someone lying about him on the phone call. Dave: [52:45] Above reproach. Tara: [52:51] But it's mostly on this list because of the episode. And Maggie makes three. where Homer is at his station at the power plant and Lenny says he should see a doctor 'cause I don't think a healthy man can make that kind of smell. Dave: [53:06] Yeah. Tara: [53:07] Or is the smelly thing consistently and thoroughly? Sarah. Sarah: [53:12] CSI season two, episode four, in which our heroes find a nearly liquefied body in a bag in the desert. Even these so-called professionals are like, oh, don't be around it too long. Get in some Tyvek. Do whatever you have to do. And Sarah Seidel, one of the And like scenes of the ending montage is her showering with like an entire bag of lemons to get the smell of decomp off of herself. And I have remembered that moment, which is probably 25 years old. Tara: [53:44] Mm-hmm. Sarah: [53:45] Now, close to it, all of this time. Tara: [53:46] Yep. Yes. Sarah: [53:48] And then, here's a disgusting fact: when you don't totally remember anything else about the particulars of the Putrefaction, except that she showered with lemons, it's actually kind of hard to narrow down which disgusting. CSI, you're actually looking for with the result that I watched a lot of clips on YouTube that just It's gonna be a while before I eat gravy again, and I'm just gonna leave it at that. But um, yeah, that was quite evocative as to stench and having worked in an outdoor slash barn environment as a younger person. Yeah, decomp. It just stays like at the top of the nostrils for a while, and you're haunted by it, like Jerry. Dave: [54:35] Since Tara went for The Simpsons, I will go with Futurama for my second choice. Clip: [54:42] Eureka! Did you build the smelloscope? No! I remembered that I built one last year! You'll find that every heavenly body has its own particular scent. Here, I'll point it at Jupiter. Smells like strawberries. Exactly. And now, Saturn, pine needles. Oh man, this is great. Hey, as long as you don't make me smell Uranus. I don't get it. I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all. Oh. What's it called now? Eurectum. Dave: [55:27] That is the Smelloscope from Futurama, and that's my second pick. Sarah: [55:27] That's good. Tara: [55:32] Nice. All right, my final scent is a pleasant one. It is from a cold open, I believe, season two of 30 Rock, where everyone is on the phone smelling maple syrup. Including Jack. Liz is just attracted to the smell. Jack is concerned, saying it could be, but probably is not Northrex, which is. A biological agent they sold to the Saudis. It smells like maple syrup, but it's probably not that because you die instantly within 10 seconds of smelling it. The maple syrup smell, which was a real thing that happened in real New York when we really lived there, was very memorable. Sarah: [56:08] Mm-hmm. Yeah. Tara: [56:10] And yeah, even in the clip, it says it's probably more likely that it's From a food additive or a food flavoring factory on, they said Staten Island, I think. The one that we smelled was in New Jersey, I believe. Sarah: [56:22] Yeah. Tara: [56:23] So, yeah. Sarah: [56:23] Beautiful Edison, New Jersey. Yeah, you read old newspapers. about like horrible accidents in the downtown like Wall Street area. And it's all candy factories like going down in flames and the whole city would smell like burnt sugar. What a time to be alive or not. I'm going to use the one that I saved thinking nobody else would take it, and that's from the Mad Men Pilot and Don Draper describing How he's going to set the Lucky Strike campaign apart, go against the increasing perception of cigarettes as cancer nails. That advertising is based on one thing, happiness, is his line. And he says, Do you know what happiness is? Happiness is the smell of a new car. And then he kind of goes into the whole It's Toasted thing, which like is a specific smell that he's using to make Lucky Strike seem more Authentic and homey and less unhealthful. And as an entree to why clients and everyone else are seduced by Don Draper, it's really an excellent pitch. That relies a lot on sensory information, and you completely get what he's going for, even though other people in the room are like, but they'll kill you. And he's like, right, but if you see it on a billboard and it says it's toasted. you're just thinking of nostalgic smell and not death from lung cancer. So yeah, sort of a more meta take on On that smells, but I thought uh other people might use a hoarder's house with a dipyramid, so I went with that one, Dave. Clip: [58:07] Is it BO? Yes. This is unbelievable BO. I know. I was at the car wash this morning. A guy told me in his 38 years in the business he's never smelled anything like it. Oh, this isn't even VO. This is beyond VO. It's BBO. Dave: [58:22] That's it, that's what I got. Sarah: [58:25] Oh, God. Tara: [58:26] All right, I'll go through my my alts. I had the cologne obsession as depicted in commercials from the 90s, which were very easily mockable because they were, you know. Sarah: [58:36] Oh, yeah. Tara: [58:38] Really, not about anything except themselves. Sarah: [58:39] Yeah, her wind song, it did stay on her mind. Tara: [58:42] Yes. The Boyle family's 140-year-old mother doe from Brooklyn 9-9, that, according to Gina, smells like death. Sarah: [58:49] I thought about that one. Dave: [58:50] Uh-huh. Sarah: [58:51] Mm-hmm. Dave: [58:51] Welcome to Tangtown. Tara: [58:52] Yep. And Helmet Sparkles Pie with Hobo Lifting Aroma from Futurama Season 4, Episode 11 were my backups. Sarah, did you have any of those? Sarah: [59:04] I had Boyle. I had Hoarder Souse, as I mentioned. I had Pepe LePue, which sort of sustained for a different reason. And I'm shocked that Jackson Lamb's Farts slash anything else in his office. Dave: [59:20] Well, I wasn't sure if the plot driven fart from the current season would have aired by the time this episode airs. Tara: [59:26] I think it did. I think it was in episode three. Dave: [59:27] Did it? Sarah: [59:28] Yeah, but I just yeah, like not that particular poot, just like any poot. Dave: [59:29] Okay. Sarah: [59:33] Also, I bet Roddy's chair fucking reeks. I bet it smells like axe and, I don't know, smegma. Tara: [59:37] Yeah. Sarah: [59:40] So those are my stinky backups. Dave. Dave: [59:44] No, Jackson Lamb was on my list. I just wasn't sure if we could talk about what I thought was the zenith of farting on that show to date. Sarah: [59:52] The zenith of farting. Dave: [59:53] Yes, the zenith of farting, indeed. Sarah: [59:56] Just a service that we provide. Dave: [1:00:01] Well, that is it for another episode of Extra, Extra Hot Grade. We enlisted for the pre-Don't Ask, Don't Tell era Marine Drama Boots before answering your burning ask EHG questions like What's replacing both Chevy's Chase and Granola? Mademoiselle Caroline maneuvered Pivot into the tiny line delivery cannon. We celebrated those who were quite the best and worst of the week. And wrap it all up with a look at TV's most important smelly things. Tara: [1:00:42] Uh-huh. Dave: [1:00:44] Next up, it's the chair company, an EHG Prime remember. Sarah: [1:00:45] Had to happen sometime. Clip: [1:00:51] We're listening. Dave: [1:00:55] I am David Teacle, and on behalf of Tar Area Hanno and Sarah D. Tara: [1:00:57] Only the best mothers can make marines. Dave: [1:01:00] Bunting. Sarah: [1:01:02] How am I supposed to poo? Dave: [1:01:03] Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time right here on Extra, Extra Hot Crit. Clip: [1:01:19] Okay, I don't think it's gonna pivot anymore. You think? This is Extra Hot Great Minis. Today's topic is something in with the stars. Well said, Dave, this is an extra credit topic from Ian, who writes: Dancing with the Stars has been on for a long time. If it were a baby, it would be able to drink now. 22 seasons. So let's take it up a notch, shall we? Please pitch your show with the name Blanking with the Stars. Please include a host or judge and some celeb suggested celebratestants. Sarah, why don't you start? It will surprise no one to learn that mine is sleuthing with the stars. Toast, cinnamon, toast, and crunch. Either alone or in teams, celebrities will solve mysteries. The celebrities in no particular order were forever. any particular reason include Billy Magnusson, Michelle Visage, Jamie Hector, Chris Knoth, Jonathan Banks, Sheriff John Bunnell, Christine Boransky, Hilary Burton, Danny Bonaducci, and Margaret Cho. Dave. My show is called Conning with the Stars, and it's two teams of three seasoned con artists. They team up with a celebrity. And the team that develops the best con with the biggest payday with the same celebrity wins the week. Wow. I would watch that show so much. Me too. Please stop talking and go make that show. I should know. I'm Frazier. The host is Littlefinger from Game of Thrones. Yep. And our first celebrity is going to be Ted Dansing, because I think I like his sort of like. I think they could work on his fatherly aspects, but also the fact that he's a long-lived celebrity and he's got a big range of stuff I think the Connors could work with. So that is Conning with the Stars. I love it. Okay, so uh my show is called Acting with the Stars. There's all of these people that are trying to be on reality shows and stuff, like they're all trying to have acting careers. So like let's see if they can really act. I'm guessing the answer will be no, which will be very entertaining. But the the premise will be that these celebrities that are on the show will be paired up with a drama coach and then like a veteran stage actor as a scene partner. And each of them has to perform a scene from like a famous play, anything from like way back in like Shakespeare or like Eugene O'Neill, Lillian Hellman, current stuff. So I, you know, I imagine there will be some maybe a few interesting surprises of some people that can actually do it and some really enjoyable train wrecks. And also, it would be an a cool opportunity to make some famously narrow-minded celebrities do some like ultra-liberal theater pieces. As a little sweetener, every season could have a musical episode, too. And the first batch of contestants, I am terrible with like who's in the reality world, so I I'm most of these are placeholders, but like a vine star, a real housewife. An egotistical male athlete, a female UFC fighter, a fading teen pop star, one of Donald Trump's asshole children, and Megan Call. It would be hosted by Alan Cumming. Oh, of course. The judges would be Maggie Smith. James Earl Jones and James Lipton. Excellent. All right. Well, I will go last. Mine is prepping with the stars. This is one that occurred to me after we saw 10 Clover Field Lane this weekend. I'm the person that watched Doomsday Prepperts because I used to write about it for Grantland. And the thing about our current age where we can follow Celebrities on Twitter and find out exactly how crazy they are and what flavor of crazy they are means there is a very large pool of paranoid psychos that you could get for the show. So I think. That we should have Adam Baldwin is on my list. I think Jesse Ventura would be an excellent host/slash judge. He could not just. Move the seatings along because he has entertainment experience, but he also seems like someone who probably knows a lot about prepping. And so I think that good celebrities, in addition to the aforementioned Adam Baldwin, would be Flat Earther Tila Tequila, Chemtrails of conspiracy theorist Kylie Jenner, and John Voigt all-around wacko. And that is mine.