Spending A Long Weekend With The Parenting

Dave: [0:10] This is the Actra, Actra, Heartbreak Podcast, episode 344 for the March 15th, 2025 weekend. Back to Robot Boys. I am back-based instant messaging David T. Cole, and I'm here with slippery little chicken Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah: [0:31] Awkward. Dave: [0:33] And working farmer Tara Ariano. Tara: [0:35] Cows, goats, pigs, a duck. Sarah: [0:44] Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Extra, Extra Hot Great. We are so glad that you are here with us. Very quick pod business announcement. In case market fluctuations, unemployment, hesitancy, whatever euphemism you want to call weirdness in the economy, in case you think that means that you can't be with us, that's actually not true. There is an ExtraHotGrate Mutual Aid Vault. You're not required to fill out a long application. You just have to ask for a free year of Extra ExtraHotGrate. Thanks to Admiral Anonymous and the fleet of other contributors. Just email me directly. That's bunting at tomatonation.com. For more information, we hope that you will stay with us. And now over to Tara. Tara: [1:36] Yes, thank you, Sarah. Thank you to Anonymous. Thank you to all of our supporters for being here. We are talking about the parenting. Rohan, Nick Dodani, and Josh, Brandon Flynn, have been a couple long enough to have an apartment and a dog together, but their parents haven't met each other until now. Rohan has found them a shockingly cheap vacation rental in the country, and all three couples are going to meet up there. It turns out to be a reason the place is so affordable, however, and that reason is it's haunted. Will everyone make it through the weekend in Tarot Bang? The movie dropped on Macs March 13th. It was written by Kent Sublett, a longtime Saturday Night Live writer and directed by Craig Johnson, who previously wrote and directed The Skeleton Twins, among many other things. And again, it is a movie, so we're going to be talking about all of it. Let's do the Chen check-in. Sarah, should our listeners watch The Parenting? Sarah: [2:30] Uh, yes, but, Dave? Dave: [2:35] You could probably skip it. Tara: [2:37] Yeah, my answer is nah. Let's get into it. I watched this before I knew the screenwriter had SNL in his background, like, a lot. He wrote on it for 17 years. That made it, for me, even worse in retrospect. But then when I thought about the recent projects that I've loved from ex-SNL writers like 30 Rock and AP Bio and the other two, They're all TV shows, so maybe the show isn't great training for long-form comedy anymore. Sarah, what do you think? Sarah: [3:05] I don't know if that's the problem, but it's as good of a problem to identify as any with this. It's not fish or fowl enough. It's horror-spoofy, but it's not quite spoofy enough. It's definitely not quite horror enough. Tara: [3:22] Yes. Sarah: [3:22] And then you have like, you know, random Pomeranian deaths, which like, no, I don't want to watch that ever. Even if maybe it's like supernatural, like it lives on. No, still not okay. I think the problem with this might actually be the POV characters, but you could also be right that like it's trying to be too much of both and therefore it isn't enough of either. Tara: [3:47] Yeah. But that was something that I touched on in my review, which we'll link in the show notes, that the two younger guys are like obviously less experienced than the people who are playing their parents, who are Edie Falco, Brian Cox, Lisa Kudrow and Dean Norris. So, like, truly a murderer's row of amazing comedians and, like, I mean, not comedians, comic actors, but the younger guys, A, don't have that ability to elevate the material that the older pros do, and B, they start fighting so early that you're, like, not really invested in their relationship at all, and that's also a problem, that they're less interesting at the heart of it. Also, Parker Posey, hilarious as a house manager. She was my favorite thing about it. And as soon as you write a joke like, is that a wig? Is that two wigs? I'm into it. But they're just, yeah, there weren't enough jokes. I agree. It wasn't horror enough and it definitely was not funny enough. Sarah: [4:43] If the central conceit is sort of like meet the parents at a haunted house, I mean, there is part of me that feels at this date in the culture that you absolutely have to hang a light somewhere in the dialogue on the fact that the house was cheap. Like, in my own writing of scary stories, it's like, this is why they took the house. It was cheap. They joked that it was haunted, and that it was. Just put a line in there, like, oh, we got it for cheap because it's haunted. Like, that's literally my first thought. That's my point. Tara: [5:16] Oh, they should joke about it. I see. Got it. Sarah: [5:19] Yeah. But then the sort of central conceit that brings everyone to the cheap haunted house, obviously, is meet the parents. And we've just seen that done in literal Meet the Parents and then a bunch of Hallmark movies from the couple's point of view dozens and dozens of times. Like, set it up from, if not Parker Posey's character, and she's sort of, like, off-screen for a while and then comes back and is, like, very kind of bubbly and flip about how there's, quote, a lot of rules involved in being the minion of this thing. Which, okay, I'd like to see that, but if not that, then, like, set it up from the parents' point of view. Like, you said in your review, there's a scene where the moms are drinking together and just being like, oh, this is exhausting. You know, I feel like I'm too hard on him. And also there's like a demon in the house. I mean, yeah. Falco and Phoebe Buffay. This is brilliant. Just make the whole movie a bottle with them. But there's a, there's like a lack of nerve, I would say in terms of where the POV should be. Tara: [6:24] Yes. And it's a shame because I stopped watching SNL before this happened, but when I was researching the writer, I found a House Hunters sketch that he had done for the show, and we'll link that in the show notes too, where Leif Shriver and Leslie Jones play the couple. It's at the point of the House Hunters episode where they're reviewing all of the places that they've seen, and they're like, well, this one was fine, but it was five cents over budget, so let's cross it off. This one was fine, but it was just a packet of Hidden Valley Ranch dressing. It just gets more and more absurd. And there could be a way to make that the movie. Just stretch that to 90 minutes, put other stuff in between, make it more sketchy. It just felt like it was trying to be too serious. I'm like, oh, I don't want to write three-minute sketches anymore. I want to do something that has more of a story. And that's fine if you can do it well, but he didn't, in my opinion. Sarah: [7:17] I mean, he did it well enough. I think it was more about like, I have deep knowledge of and love of this genre. And so none of my babies are getting cut in that regard. Whereas just doing a series of vignettes, like you said, that's like this haunted house through the years and then just have every couple being like, well, it's cheap, must be haunted. Ha ha. And then after two weeks, everybody like moves out and then it's the next couple. Why not? Tara: [7:46] Do an anthology or just have you know a bunch of different comic set pieces like Naked Gun style yeah with a very loose plot. Dave: [7:55] We call the thing the parenting. There's really that much of the parents. The story isn't about them in the same way it was in like, you know, meet the parents or something like that. Tara: [8:04] Yes. Dave: [8:04] So, yes, they are trying to blend that element with a horror element, but even the parenting part of it falls short. So without that, then I think you do have to fall to like Sarah's idea where it is the Airbnb-ing, where it is really just about trying to make money off of this haunted demon infested house. Whether that's through the years or whether that's just the throughput of this group of people doesn't really matter. But, you know, you have to be stronger on the horror comedy of it rather than the horror and the comedy of it, because there was like a few parts where they were sort of trying to do both at once. And, you know, they're gross and they kind of work on their own, like Brian Cox's 12 seconds of noodle vomit. I mean, it works on me. I know it didn't work on you, Sarah, because you don't like vomiting, but more of that would have worked. And it just felt like it was a little schizophrenic, I thought. And it just didn't really come together. But like there was enough there here and there that I'm like, well, if I was alone by myself on a Saturday early afternoon and it was on, I would definitely scroll through my phone while it was on my highest rating. Tara: [9:12] That's not your highest rating. Dave: [9:13] No, it's not. But the pitfalls we're talking about where it's like it's not well put together, but it is a product of the Hollywood machine. Like, how do you get all these people in this movie and yet still have this movie feel like, and this is what I was talking about before, like, what exactly is it? Like, to me, it feels a little bit like a TV movie, but not completely. It feels a bit like a direct-to-video movie from back in the day, but again, not completely because I got all these names. It has more money than anything I just mentioned, but not better writing. It feels like it could have been the second tier movie at a drive-thru coupling. Dave: [9:50] Like, it has all those vibes to it, They're usually also shorter. But there is something about these streaming movies that are obviously the second attempt to sell something or at this budget, this is all we're buying. $5 million to make the movie and $10 million to hire the cast or however that works out. And that's how the movie is made. There's something about these max Netflix movies that are almost good, but then there's always one or two big things, whether it be the mixing of genres, the quality of the action, the density of the material inside of the script that lowers it below something you would expect to see in the theater. And I feel like we're still there with all these movies. Now, I know, you know, the news is all these companies are starting to do less of these, maybe because that's it. Because if you can't show people 10 of them instead of one of them, it's just not making sense for them financially. Tara: [10:46] Right. Dave: [10:46] So maybe this stuff will sort of trickle back into some sort of other ecosystem. But what makes a movie like this, this? Tara: [10:53] Yeah. No, and it's especially true with comedies because those are the ones that are falling off the most in theaters. And it's only going to keep happening. Like I went to see one of them days and it was really funny and it's like it flopped. So it's like, okay, I guess the next time someone writes one of these, it's going to be straight to Peacock. That was the most depressing thing about the latest Bridget Jones movie, which was released theatrically in other countries, but not here. And it's made $100 million elsewhere. And here it's like the best. I mean, it really is good. It's the best version of that. But it does feel like, especially with comedies especially, but with all these movies, it's like, you're either watching one where you say, it's a bummer that couldn't go to theaters for whatever business reasons. Or I 100% get why it didn't like this one. It's like, it's not good enough. And I'll also say, it seems like other stuff was cut because if you look on IMDb, it might be cleaned up by now, but there was a bunch of people credited as like wedding guests. Like, there's no wedding. Like that didn't make it to the version that we saw. Or, you know, there's no explanation for like the Lisa Kudrow character shows up with these poor dogs and she doesn't know their names and there's no explanation of like, whose dogs are these And why did you bring them to this weekend with your son and his boyfriend? Dave: [12:08] But that feeling, that sort of haphazard building, you're mixing like space Lego with pirate Lego and you built this thing and it's called the parenting and like nobody's happy with it and you don't know what it is. Is it a ship? I don't know. Like that feels like it is the story of all these movies and all these streaming platforms. Tara: [12:27] Totally. Sarah: [12:28] Well, I mean, this is probably above my pay grade in terms of speculating about like business models for streamers that also have movie studios. But I think that 20 or 30 years ago, that there's a feeling that this is still a fallback. And that if you don't quite make the movie that you set out to make, that if your ambition sort of tails off in the middle of the process, then that's okay. And I don't think that used to be the case. I like this movie better than I thought, but this is absolutely what I would call an AC value add that let like cuffs, which like it, this is better than cuffs with a K. Like my brother and I saw that movie because it was 65 degrees in that building in a wonderful way. It was not in our family home. Tara: [13:20] Mm hmm. Sarah: [13:21] Then we were, like, surprisingly amused by this movie that was, like, surprisingly amused by its own self. But that was 1992. Like, the movie went to a theater or it went to a can in the back of somebody's closet. Those were the fucking choices. And now that you have more places to put something that's not quite right or not quite done or doesn't have a rabbi, so to say, in the studio. It can just quote unquote go to streaming and actually you see this with a lot of true crime that it's like this isn't cooked you didn't know where this went but you had the canisters for a three-part series so this is what you get same kind of principle is that making any sense yeah. Dave: [14:05] I feel like there is a creative coupon involved somehow here you know when they were making. Sarah: [14:10] These. Dave: [14:11] They have this coupon it's like only write three quarters of a story like don't develop two characters and like, you know, no cash value. And they're making it like that. I mean, it kind of always feels like that, that it's never quite coming together, gelling at the end. It seems to be like the calm and feeling I have when I'm watching all of these. Tara: [14:29] Yeah. It was like that when we talked about Jackpot last summer, too. Dave: [14:33] Yeah. Tara: [14:33] Like this is almost there and then it's not. And I, you know, I just finished watching the studio, the Apple TV Plus show that we're going to be talking about in a couple of weeks. And I mean, who knows how actually accurate it is, but there's a scene where they're talking about, like, people are balking at this, at the trailer for a theatrical release because it's, like, really gory or, you know, it's very graphic. And they're like, well, we should have just put this to streaming where there's none of that. You don't have those notes. You don't have that process. You don't have to worry about all of that stuff. And once that happened, I was like, okay, that's interesting. Like, it made me wonder how much that's the calculation, too. Yeah, this is neither fish nor fowl, like Sarah said. And so, Tara: [15:13] you know, you don't have to eat it. Oh. Dave: [15:23] You know what you do have to eat? Your feelings as you listen to this fantastic theme to a segment we call, as always, Ask EHG. Tara: [15:43] You said you were so tired, but that segue, that was the segue of a very awake man. Dave: [15:48] Yeah, but I've got to crash soon, I bet. Something bad's going to happen. I'm running on adrenaline. Podcast adrenaline! All right. Ask EHG time. This is an advanced record, so we're going to skip judgments. We'll double up sometime soon. So let's get right to your question. The first one is from Milsnack. Maybe the secret is I just have to be really tired and fed up when we record. Tara: [16:10] Yep. Dave: [16:10] You dicks. Milsnack has our first question. Simply asks, what show would benefit from an octopus? Tara? Tara: [16:20] Yeah, not benefit most, just benefit. Just throw it in there. Dave: [16:24] Which I wouldn't. Tara: [16:26] I mean, truly. We talked about, or I talked about, Common Side Effects recently in Around the Dial, and I mentioned Scavengers of Rain, which is a show created by one of the co-creators of Common Side Effects, and we've been watching that only one at a time because it's real weird and real unsettling. It's not a show I really want to binge that much. Dave: [16:47] It's not a horror thing, but if you sort of like take the heebie-jeebies you get after watching like Alien or the thing in your ear part of Star Trek Wrath of Khan and sort of translate that to an ecosystem. Tara: [17:02] It's a he-bie-jee-ba-dee. That's a perfect way to put it. But anyway, I'm sure we'll talk about it more. I'll talk about it when we finish it. Dave: [17:10] I'm enjoying it. Tara: [17:11] I am too. Totally. Absolutely. But anyway, that's my answer. I think that's the only kind of creature we haven't seen on Scavenger's Reign so far. We haven't finished the season yet. There could be something Octopin still to come, but that's my answer. And if any of that sounds interesting, Scavenger's Reign, it's on Max. Sarah? Sarah: [17:30] Besides the boys, in which there already was an octopus, which I forgot until prepping this question and wish I had continued to do so, but I did not. So I'm just going to port that character, whose name is Ambrosius and who was played by Tilda Swinton. I'm going to port it over in its entirety from the boys to the bear. Nice. And there will be a running gag where Neil Fack, like one Ambrosius in a charity auction, and develops a real and very warm relationship with her. She's sort of like a mentor, an aunt type to him. She takes him seriously when others don't, much as she did with the deep on the boys. But then there is a failure to use sufficiently sticky washi tape to label her aquarium. And this leads to a horrific misunderstanding in an episode called Today's Special. Tara: [18:21] Dave. Dave: [18:22] It is enough. Dr. Calhoun asking the real questions. How much does Tara still love her favorite show ever, Going Dutch? Tara: [18:35] Thank you so much. This is also a running joke at Cracked, where it's known as, in our daily editorial meetings, my new favorite show. Dave: [18:42] Oh, good. Tara: [18:43] But it is, actually. As you're listening to this, the season finale will have just aired. As we're recording this, it still has not been renewed, but I feel like it will be. I didn't really see any terrible reviews. Who knows how much ratings matter anymore? But also, by the time you hear this, I will have interviewed its female lead, Taylor Mizziak, who plays Maggie Quinn, the Dennis Leary character's daughter. I still stand by it. It actually continued to get funnier. There was an episode midseason where they play Korfball, which is, I discovered, a real Dutch sport that's super weird. That was probably my favorite show of the season. But Lisa Edelstein show up among the Dennis Leary character's ex-wives. She's the Taylor Mizziak character's mother. All of that is good. It's funny. I stand by it. Sarah: [19:28] I read a recent mid-season review involving the Corf Ball episode by Tara, and it did make the case that this is like AP Bio plus Unlisted equals Rescue Me Extreme Tulips edition. I don't totally know if the review was better than... It's like when you read a review in The New Yorker and you're like, I'm going to get that book, and then the review is actually the good part. That could be true, but I'll try it. Dave: [19:54] L triple B opening up a big fucking can of worms I can just see it right now it's gonna be the most popular thing in our discord for weeks so curse you L triple B with this question no. Tara: [20:05] Thank you I love it when this. Dave: [20:08] Happens is a burger a sandwich no, Now, my overall answer is yes, if you're a dork. Tara: [20:15] Well, okay. Dave: [20:17] Okay. Technically, I think you can make the case that a burger is, in fact, constructed as a sandwich. It is stuffed in between two things of bread. And I think that qualifies as a sandwich. But I am living in the real world where we obviously make distinctions between burgers and sandwiches. Because burgers and sandwiches are never part of the same section of a menu. Dave: [20:39] For that reason, that as North Americans, we have made that distinction that a burger is something unto its own, that that is our continental dish that we make 10,000 different variations of. You can have this burger, that burger. And yes, there are many different types of sandwiches, but a burger is a thing unto its own to be elevated on the menu. So no wrong answers, but also there is one wrong answer. Tara: [21:04] Well, that's the thing. I mean, I feel the same way. It's sort of like the true yet coward's answer is yes and no. But I think, Dave, you elucidated the point I was going to make. Dave: [21:14] Would you call me? Tara: [21:17] You elucifered the point I was going to make. You can say, Dave, do you want to get P. Terry's tonight? No, I don't feel like a burger. Let's get Ike's a sandwich. You know, they're two different, as you said, two different parts of the menu. So like, yes, technically a burger is a sandwich, but we don't think of it that way. And I particularly don't because none of the things that I ever want on a sandwich is anything I would want in a burger, usually. Dave: [21:41] There was a question here or discussion at some point about the evils of negative menuing items on DoorDash and stuff. Tara: [21:49] Yes. Dave: [21:49] Where it's like, the burger comes with these things automatically. Tara: [21:53] Right. Dave: [21:53] Click if you want these other things and then click if you don't want the things that we put on the burger. Like, I'm here to report that P. Terry's sometime in the past nine months has zeroed out their menu. Now you just add what you want. So thank you, P. Terry's, for that. Sarah, what are your thoughts on this very important question? Tara: [22:10] Mm-hmm. Sarah: [22:11] I'm glad that no one could see my note document right now because it's paragraphs and paragraphs of my trying to work through this. And then what is a lobster roll? And then we're in the hot dog area. Here is my answer. Bread and then, you know, the filling. That makes it a sandwich. And so, yes, I guess a hamburger is a sandwich. Anything that is on a bun or bread and is landscape presentation versus portrait, which I guess is hot dogs and lobster rolls. Dave: [22:45] I would say stacked versus Temple Grandin. Tara: [22:49] Yes. Sarah: [22:51] So, yeah, it's a sandwich, but like a filet of fish is sort of the same or like anything else that is not beef at McDonald's. They call it a sandwich. Tara: [23:02] Right. Sarah: [23:03] You know, a Filet-O-Fish sandwich, not a Filet-O-Fish burger. So is it the groundness of the meat? I don't think so. I think it's a sandwich, but it's just the Venn diagram overlap is like most of the circle. So yes, I guess. Plants flag. Who cares? Dave: [23:22] The subject came up, so let's just put it to bed. Hot dog is a hot dog a sandwich. Tara: [23:27] In the same way that a hamburger is and isn't, I would say. Sarah: [23:31] No, it's not. Dave: [23:31] I would say it is not. I would say the hot dog belongs in the roll category. Tara: [23:36] Oh, okay. Dave: [23:37] Lobster roll. A hot dog is a roll. Sarah: [23:39] And then if you, but if you cut, if you slice a hot dog and then lay it on a piece of bread and put mustard on a piece of rye bread, which actually that sounds pretty good. And someone should try that. Dave: [23:49] Humpernickel would be really good too. Okay. But here's the thing. When you were desperate, you're, okay, Tara, you're nine years old. You've come home from school. And of course, nobody else is there because your parents don't love you. The only thing you have to really eat that you want is a hot dog, but there's no hot dog buns. So this is one of those times where you have to just eat your feelings and put it on bread. Tara: [24:09] What's with eating our feelings this week? Dave: [24:13] Because, you know, because you're very emotional, nine-year-old. Tara: [24:16] Sure. Dave: [24:17] At that point, I think you've made a hot dog sandwich. As soon as you put it into a bun, that is now classified as a roll. Tara: [24:22] Okay, but then now... Sarah: [24:24] But what if... Dave: [24:24] Okay. Sarah: [24:24] What if you put it on a single slice of bread, fold the bread and hold it, fold, hold. Yeah, that's what I would do. I think that's still a roll. But it's a hot dog. Is that then still a, I mean, it's still a hot dog, but like. Dave: [24:36] I think the sandwich needs to be stacked. Tara: [24:38] You think you need to be able to hold it like this. Dave: [24:40] I'm a flat stacker. Tara: [24:42] Okay, yes. Yeah. Okay, but Sarah, would you not say a lobster roll is a sandwich? Sarah: [24:48] No, absolutely not. Dave: [24:49] Okay. Sarah: [24:50] Unless it's on a hamburger roll or bread, then it's a lobster salad sandwich. If it's in a hot dog bun, it's a roll. Tara: [24:59] Right. Dave: [25:00] All right, I think we've cracked it. Tara: [25:01] The greatest thread in the history of forums locked by a moderator after 12,239. Sarah: [25:06] Pages of being in debate. We're doing it. Dave: [25:10] LT, while re-watching Andor in preparation for the new season, I was stunned to see Doc Brown from Taskmaster appearing as an Imperial officer. What other member of the Taskmaster cast would you like to see on season two of Andor? Your time starts now. Tara: [25:26] I went with Ashlyn B, who was in season five of Taskmaster. She's an actually good dramatic actor. Dave: [25:32] Is she the Irish one? Tara: [25:33] Yes. She also, she has dark hair, blue, blue, blue eyes. Dave: [25:38] Right. Tara: [25:38] She is a good dramatic actor, like I said, but that show also does permit like some moments of levity. And I think her vibe would fit in perfectly on Farrick's, Andor's adoptive home planet. She could be someone who works in some mine, right? You could be a mine worker in a crowd having a revolution. Dave? Dave: [25:56] Well, I got two. First of all, I want to see Sam Campbell as an Imperial checkpoint officer. Tara: [26:01] Yes! Dave: [26:02] Just winging it and ask his weird questions all in the Star Wars universe. Tara: [26:06] We could have dinner! Dave: [26:07] And then the second one, I'm going to replace Denise Goh. Tara: [26:11] Goff. Dave: [26:12] Goff, is that how it's pronounced? Tara: [26:13] I'm sure. Dave: [26:14] As Deidre Miro, the Imperial officer there. And I'm going to replace her with the Scottish kid from Taskmaster Jr. Tara: [26:22] Kira. She was great. Dave: [26:24] Yeah, she was pretty great. All right, that is it for us. We've been taping a lot of episodes, so that's why some of these episodes only have four or five questions. Some episodes in the future will have 39 questions. Tara: [26:34] No, don't say that. Dave: [26:36] T Pickles has your Ask, Ask, EHG question. Thinking about the less common holiday traditions that we see on TV, which would you never ever adopt in your home? So what TV tradition, less common, would you absolutely not do in your own house? Go to our Discord. The Ask Ask EHG channel is where you want to plop your answers. Dave: [27:03] That music means it's time for the tiny no-knack where we're flipping the script. And this time, Sarah is presenting. Sarah: [27:10] I sure am. And here we are in the category of production design. Today's exemplar comes from Beverly Hills 90210, Season 2, Episode 15, Euphoria, and specifically, we are contemplating the Barb Graffito. Long may she reign. Probably don't have to do a ton of intro here, but to locate our non-again-with-this listeners, Euphoria is the episode in which Brandon, Jason Priestley, is dosed with folks to see by his girlfriend, Emily Valentine, Christina Lise. This ruins their relationship and threatens her sanity, but that's not until the next episode. In this one, initially, Brandon is high as a kite, wearing a jacket but no shirt, and writhing around with Emily on the hood of his pale yellow vintage Mustang. A disgusted Dylan, Luke Perry, orders Brandon to hand over his keys, when he and Brenda, Shannon Doherty, leave him there. Let's pick it up from the episode's entry written by yours truly in a very special 90210 book, page 58. Sarah: [28:18] The next morning, Brandon's dragging serious ass, and in response to Brenda's guilt trip, he says he was drugged by Emily, and Baby voices self-pityingly that people talk about drugs like they're so cool, but it's just a big fake-out. It occurs to at least one of the authors of this book that he's doing them wrong, but anyway, Brandon's day gets worse when Dylan drives him back to what's left of his car. The front seat and one door are missing entirely, and the chassis is covered in graffiti and signed with a large flower by Barb. Junior League plays rough in the City of Angels. Again, that's on page 58. Pretty proud of that book. Pretty proud of that line. Here's what you don't see and what I did not recall until re-watching the sequence. There is also another graffito on the back from Rude Rose. Tara: [29:09] Nice. Sarah: [29:10] And it also has a similar bubble flower asterisk sort of tag next to it. It's all just really bad and half-assed, not to mention dozens of people had to have seen how the so-called vandalism turned out and nobody was like, guys? And that's why it belongs in the tiny Nonac. Even a split second of thought would have led the production designer to conclude that, one, taking off the front tire in one of the doors and then hitting the chassis with black spray paint was enough. Two, that if you had to do something in the neighborhood of actual graffiti. I don't know, lightning bolt, anarchy symbol, scribbling, anything but an inadvertently hilarious pair of vintage names plus a cutesy shower curtain flower shape? But that this is what they ended up with only underscores the dated unseriousness of this entire episode's attempt to scaremonger about rave drugs. Please honor Barb and Rude Rose and induct this absolute corny legend into the extra, extra hot, great tiny Nonac. Dave: [30:17] Thank you, Sarah. Up until, I'm going to say, five seconds before we started this segment, I thought this was a tiny cannon for a production design. And discovering it's the known act has totally flipped the script in what I was going to say because I was like, look, guys, I know you like Beverly Hills 90210 and you like talking about it and you have your own podcast, but what the fuck? This is like a flower and it says Barb. It's the stupidest thing. It's funny because it's so bad. Sarah: [30:44] It's so bad. It is. Dave: [30:47] And yeah, I mean, this is like if the Powerpuff Girls turn truly evil, this is the extent. this is as evil as they could actually get would be to spray paint Barb on somebody's car. It is so dumb. Tara: [31:00] Barb is the fourth Powerpuff Girl. Dave: [31:02] Yeah, Barb. Tara: [31:02] Washed out. Dave: [31:03] Barb's their manager. Sarah: [31:04] Yep. Mm-hmm. Tara: [31:06] Barb's orange. Dave: [31:07] Yeah. All right. So I apologize for misreading where we're going to categorize this. And I wholeheartedly agree. Sarah: [31:15] This is a subject of debate for me that it was like. Dave: [31:18] Yeah, I understand. Sarah: [31:19] This is the difference. Like, this is a legend. Do I love this graffito? Yes. Is it good? No. Dave: [31:26] Yeah, because when we did the Saved by the Bell thing, it really was like, okay, this is actually great. This is actually stupid. So it's fun and stupid. It's not great. So I'm definitely in the bag for this one, Tara. Tara: [31:43] I have to just sidebar. Pale yellow, I always thought of it as like ivory or off-white. I mean, it doesn't matter and there's no way to settle this because of the quality of how the show was filmed in the 90s. But yes. Dave: [31:56] We can't start color differences. We just settled the sandwich debate. Tara: [32:01] Forever. Dated unseriousness is a perfect way to describe this. And I get that they're constrained by not being able to write fuck on the car, whatever, like, or anything that has any relation to actual crimes. Sarah: [32:14] Just scribble, though. You don't need to sign your name. Tara: [32:16] Mom. Sarah: [32:16] No, exactly. Tara: [32:17] So, yes, Barb and a little Daisy is A, dumb, and B, kind of a microcosm of the show's difficulty letting anything actually bad happen to its characters in this era. Bad things would happen later. I mean, I know this is after Scott accidentally killed himself, but that even happened when David had gotten sick of him and Douglas Emerson had been, like, demoted. You know, like, even when your car gets stripped and tagged on Beverly Hills 90210, you get a cute little flower like the perp was Lisa Frank's cousin Barb. Like, that's what the show was. Sarah: [32:48] Oh, my God. Dave: [32:49] See, the way I think of it is that Barb is, like, one of the Amazonians from Futurama. And while he's looking ahead at his graffito tag car, a eight-foot barb walks in, just picks up Brandon and takes him off set to have her way with him. That is sort of like the barb of it all. Tara: [33:06] He's wee. A six-foot barb could do that. That's true. Sarah: [33:10] A five-foot-seven-and-a-half barb would have stuffed him in the trunk and slammed it closed and not left it open. And then she would have written on the hood, you are grounded until we're both dead. Which is how you could tell it wasn't my mom. Love you, ba. Dave: [33:25] All right. Shall we put this to the official vote? Tara: [33:27] Yes. Dave: [33:27] All right. I'm going to say this is absolutely no neck worthy. Tara, what say you? Tara: [33:32] Of course. Dave: [33:33] All right. So. Yes. The Barb Graffito from Beverly Hills 90210, you are hereby inducted into the extra hot, great, tiny production design Nonag. Dave: [33:45] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. Dave: [33:54] All right, no winners and losers this week, but we do present you with our not-quite-top-11 list, or in my case, doubling it up, the not-quite-top-22 show titles that sound like bad porn, letters D&P edition. Now, this is actually releasing after the first one to record it, so you guys have to look forward to the B&J edition coming to you soon. Here we go, though. These are the D&P edition Da Jammies, Deadwood The Dick Van Dyke Show Different strokes, Dirty Jobs Do-Over The worst one on the list In my In my judgment Doc McStuffins Oh yeah The Dozers, Drunk History Due South, Dusty's Trail Does anybody know what Dusty's Trail is? No It's a western starring Gilligan, Bob Denver Pre-Gilligan's Island Back to the list, we're now at our P's, Packages from Planet X. Pardon the interruption. Party of Five. Paw Patrol. Sarah: [35:15] No, Dave. Dave: [35:16] The Pebbles and Bam Bam Show. Tara: [35:19] Yeah. Dave: [35:20] Pie in the Sky. Pinky Dinky Doo. Pole Position. Puberty Blues. And finally, The Punisher. Tara: [35:32] No. Dave: [35:33] Yeah. Tara: [35:34] Oh, my. Dave: [35:34] Well, I had to do alphabetically. I would have ended in dogma stuff. Tara: [35:37] Of course. Dave: [35:39] Sure. Nice. Sarah: [35:40] Oh, my God. Okay. Not quite 11 TV Parkers whom Maximum Chaos Demands we replace with Parker Posey. Number one, Parker Lewis of Parker Lewis Can't Lose, Wacky High School Hijinks, and Giant Silky Shirts. Number two, Parker Stevenson of the Hardy Boys, if you wish, or Melrose Place, if you wish. Seeing her in a microcom hat would bring me joy. Sarah: [36:10] Number three, Parker's Sarah Jessica and Nicole Ari of And Just Like That, because you have to think Parker Posey would get some of the corny and tone-deaf voiceovers rewritten on that show. Number four jameson parker just retitle it simon and simone but don't touch that theme song it's my favorite number five molly parker on doc which might make the flashbacks to the titular character's previous bitchy self a bit more credible number six mary louise parker on weeds posy is definitely a believable queen pin number seven nathaniel parker on the inspector lindley mysteries Parker Posey would look a lot better in that weird page boy hairdo he had for a few episodes. I would also enjoy the really fun energy I think she would have with Sharon Small's Barbara Havers. Number eight, Parker on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Why not have Buffy experiment with a lady in college instead of with the trademark condescending snooze Adam Kaufman always seems to play? Number nine, Jada Parker of the WWE. Sarah: [37:15] And finally, number ten, Fess Parker of TV's Davy Crockett. Tara. Tara: [37:21] In honor of our lead topic, I have brought my not-quite-top-11 TV ghosts, counting them down from 10 to 1. At 10, the pirates from the Venture Brothers episode Ghosts of the Sargasso, which, spoiler, are fake ghosts in a pretty great spoof of the fake ghosts from Scooby-Doo. Number nine, the Dead Boy Detectives. Number eight, Nate from In Limbo, the Australian sitcom that I recently picked back up again about a guy who's being haunted by his best friend in limbo. Number seven, the breakdancing 80s ghosts in a leather jacket from Wellington Paranormal in the canon. Thank you. Number six, the Crypt Keeper, obviously. Number five, Robin, the Neanderthal ghost from Ghosts UK. Number four, the spirit of human Nadia in a doll that looks just like her from What We Do in the Shadows. Number three, Jesse, played by Langston Kerman on Not Dead Yet. This is largely just because he's hot. He was only in one episode. Number two, you've been waiting for him, and here he is, not at number one, the horny Scottish ghost from Star Trek The Next Generation, because number one is, Dave, do you have a guess? Dave: [38:32] No. Tara: [38:33] High five ghost from Regular Show, the cutest ghost on the list. The little hand coming out of his little ghost head so that you can high five him. My favorite ghost. Dave: [38:51] Welcome back, grandpas. You've missed about 45 minutes or so of show. I am really tired and I can't speak to the quality of those 45 minutes. I actually don't remember too much of it. Somebody said I did a good segue. That's all I remember, because I like being complimented. Good compliment goes a long way. Tara: [39:11] We talked about sandwiches for a cool 25 minutes. Dave: [39:13] Oh, yeah, that's right. Sarah: [39:14] Sandwiches and bad graffiti. What's not to love? Dave: [39:17] All right. Anyways, this extra credit comes from Amy Allen Spock, who has been doing Game Times a Plenty for us. She writes, DuckTales, She-Ra, Carmen Sandiego, Animaniacs, all kids shows that have been rebooted over the past few years. What nostalgic piece of TV history would you like to unleash on the current generation? What changes would you make? What would you keep from the OG? And why does this series need a reboot? Who wants to go first? Sarah. Tara: [39:44] I can go. Okay. Dave: [39:45] No, you're not. Sarah. Sarah's my favorite. Sarah: [39:47] Well, I thought about going with You Can't Do That on television, but on the off chance that one of my actual Canadian co-hosts took that Canadian program, I will go with a show that also aired on Nickelodeon seemingly endlessly in the mid-80s, and that is Out of Control. Out of Control, which started out with the name The Out of Control Room, which referred to the fictional news production that was the framing device of the show. It was a grade school-age sketch show, I'm going to say. Kind of the same surrealist energy as You Can't Do That on Television, which we young, bunting siblings also watched religiously. Lots of dumb wordplay and random screeching. Dave Jr. and I still think fondly of Diz, Scoop, Hearn Burford, and all of their catchphrases. Anyone sing-songing excellent anywhere in a shared household will soon hear boring coming from somewhere else on the property seconds later. Even my nibblings do it, and they don't know why. Full House was not a fave of ours, but Out of Control host Dave Coulier road-tested a lot of his Joey catchphrases from Full House on Out of Control first. Sarah: [40:56] Saget was the first choice for host, and then they tried Thomas F. Wilson and Joel Hodgson. And then they were like, no, we want Saget to do it, and then that wasn't quite right still, so he recommended Dave, and the rest, as they say, is history. I don't actually know how nostalgic this is for anyone except me and Dave Jr. I was yesterday years old when I learned there were only 26 episodes. Maybe it just seemed like there were more. They re-aired that shit until I was in college. That I know. So maybe those 26 did what they needed to do, but I don't think there's anything that needs a ton of changing. I watched a couple of episodes of the original on YouTube. Sarah: [41:38] It certainly was not what you would call diverse in the casting, so you should probably work on that. But it would definitely benefit from other voices in the writing as well, I think. But the basic premise is that they're trying haplessly to make a TV news show. Some of that has changed in the last 40 years, but a lot of it is the same, and it's a pretty trusty framing device for all-ages programming. Animaniacs, as noted, most Muppet iterations, the Weird Al show. So what I mostly remember about it is that there were not a lot of shows that could split the age difference between me and my brother. Five and a half years is nothing now, but in the 80s, it was a big deal. And shows like You Can't Do That and Out of Control on Nickelodeon did find a way to hit across the grade levels and that seems like it would be useful for current programming. So, bring it back. Maybe it, you know, sometimes dead is better as the man said, but I'd like to see what they did with it. Tara: [42:45] Mm-hmm. Dave: [42:46] I will go next. My show is called Counter Disinformation Schoolhouse Rock. I don't have anything for you except these 10 episodes. No more kings and then a question mark. The shot eared around the world. Tara: [43:02] Oh, God. Sarah: [43:03] The never ending preamble. Dave: [43:05] I'm just a bill of goods. Elbow womb. Conjunctivitis junction. Instead of fireworks, we have fire works. You have Mother Solidarity Unpack Your Pronouns And Inter Remedy Kennedy Okay. Tara: [43:23] Well Wow I'm gonna follow that by keeping it light Mine is a Also like Sarah's A cross-generational hit I'm gonna remake Pee Wee's Playhouse As Kristen's Condo I don't wanna see Kristen Wiig Headlining the likes of Palm Royale as a failing Social climber in late 60s Florida because anyone could play that role. Just announced that for season two, Melinda is going to be played by Leslie Bibb. Wig's character was actually named Maxine and Leslie Bibb's already in that show in a supporting role, but no one's going to fact check that announcement because no one cares. Anyway. Kristen Wiig is like Pee Wee Herman, a cartoon come to life. She already looks kind of like she was drawn by Dr. Seuss. She is perfect for a show that will be silly enough for kids, smart enough for parents. And I don't think that you would need to change much. It's very easy for me to believe Kristen Wiig would live in a house that looks like it could be next door to Pee-wee's with a talking end table instead of Cherry, talking vase instead of Globie, and a wish-granting alien instead of Genie. I also think it would be easy to get Wiig's equally game weirdo friends to appear in recurring guest roles. Speaking of the Skeleton Twins, which we were earlier, I can see Bill Hader as her Italian talk show neighbor, Will Forte as a dog walker on rollerblades, Maya Rudolph as head of the HOA, who's always throwing theme block parties, and Jon Hamm as Don Draper just cuz and never explain it. Sarah: [44:51] That's just what he's doing. Tara: [44:53] In my opinion, the original doesn't really need an update. It is perfect and timeless, but today's little freaks should get to have new episodes when they run out of the old one, and so do we all. So, Kristen's Condo, you're welcome. Dave: [45:08] And that is it for this episode of Extra, Extra Hot Great. We gathered in a circle for the max movie The Parenting for answering your burning Ask EASG questions like who's getting an octopus and what Taskmaster personality is moving to Andor. Sarah successfully tagged 90210's Barb Graffiti for the tiny production design Nonac. We celebrated those who weren't quite the best and worst of the week and wrapped it all up with our pitches for rebooted childhood shows. Remember, I am David Ticol, and on behalf of Tara Ariano. Tara: [45:45] Connect the dots, and Sarah D. Sarah: [45:48] Bunting, what kind of Wi-Fi password is SemperUbiSubUbi? Dave: [45:54] Thanks for listening, everyone, and we'll see you next time right here on Extra Extra. Awkward.