The trial of O.J. Simpson in the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman began January 24, 1995. So naturally the perfect date for Lifetime to air its TV movie The O.J. Simpson Story — largely about what he did in the days immediately after said murders — was…exactly one week later. Exactly 30 years later, we found it on YouTube. How does it play now? We discuss. Ask EHG challenges us with questions about what a Jim Mullen multicam would be like and which 90s teen drama character is most likely to be driving a Cybertruck today. Tara pitches Ron’s food poisoning in the penultimate episode of Party Down Season 3 for induction into the Illness (Comedic) Tiny Canon. Then we pick the week’s Not Quite Winners And Losers before ending on Sarah’s forced march through the series premiere of Prime Video’s 2013 political sitcom Alpha House. Pour some juice — or don’t — and listen!

Should You Go Running Back (To 1995) For The O.J. Simpson Story?
Marking the 30th anniversary of Lifetime’s poorly timed TV movie.
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Dave:
[0:09] This is the Extra Extra Hot Great Podcast, episode 338 for the February 1st, 2025 weekend. I am the white bronco, David T. Cole, and I'm here with anonymous panty donor, Sarah D. Bunting.
Sarah:
[0:29] First class male, am I right?
Dave:
[0:31] And journalist overhearing a vicious couple fight, Tara Arellano.
Tara:
[0:35] I'm gonna go.
Dave:
[0:43] All right, everybody, before we get into today's topic, I got a little bit of pod business up top just to re-remind you, if you listen to EHG Prime, that I have recently exited Google Workspace. So all the URLs to all the forms that we use here, the submission form for cannons for game time, ask EHG, 50 seconds of fame, all of those things have changed. So when in doubt, check the show notes for a recent episode. And when in super in doubt, you can always go to extrahotgreat.com slash FAQ and everything is listed there.
Tara:
[1:17] Alright, we were faced with a paucity of series premieres this week. A paucity? That's right.
Dave:
[1:25] Wow.
Tara:
[1:26] That's the right word, right, Sarah? A lack?
Sarah:
[1:30] Yeah.
Tara:
[1:30] Very few?
Sarah:
[1:32] Scarcity? Deerth?
Tara:
[1:33] Deerth. Deerth is a better word.
Dave:
[1:35] Remember in the early aughts where all the stickers are all around town. So-and-so has an apposity.
Tara:
[1:41] Mm-hmm.
Dave:
[1:41] Mm-hmm.
Tara:
[1:42] Yep.
Dave:
[1:43] Gets me back.
Tara:
[1:46] For today's episode, we are digging into history, not with a forsening, but just by looking through old TV tango.
Dave:
[1:54] I thought you were going to say, we're digging into history this week, not with a fork, but with a knife.
Tara:
[1:59] Oh, no.
Sarah:
[2:01] I swear to God.
Dave:
[2:02] That's what I thought you were going to say.
Tara:
[2:04] I certainly, I mean, why would we be digging into history with a fork either? But anyway.
Dave:
[2:10] The best shovel is the one you have with you.
Tara:
[2:13] On January 31st, 1995, Lifetime premiered The O.J. Simpsons Story. And there was a time when a TV movie called The O.J. Simpsons Story would have only been about a star athlete's rise through college football to the NFL and onto a successful career as an actor and broadcaster. But this TV movie aired on Lifetime, so... It's partly an O.J. biopic and mostly about the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson, played here by Jessica Tuck, opposite Bobby Hosea as Simpson. This is a TV movie based on a pretty well-known true crime story, so if you somehow don't know anything about it and still want to discover it on your own, skip ahead. Let's do the Chen check-in. Sarah, should our listeners watch the O.J. Simpson story?
Sarah:
[2:58] First, I'd like to wish all these spoiler-free people a happy rumspringa. But no, do not do not spend it with this, Dave.
Dave:
[3:08] I think he did it.
Tara:
[3:11] That's crazy because I kind of came out of this thinking, I'm not sure he did, but whatever. Regardless, don't watch this. If you want to engage with something, American Crime Story is better. So just to situate our listeners in time, as I said, this movie aired January 31st, 1995. The murder trial starred January 24th, 1995. 95, Sue, given how much the filmmakers didn't know about this case, was, I'm sorry, the juice worth the squeeze? Sarah?
Sarah:
[3:41] Oh, it's better than I thought. Like, this is bad and you shouldn't watch it, but it was better than I expected it to be given how cagey they seemed to feel they had to be about his guilt. You know, if this were made and rushed into production today, you would assume that it was so they could avoid defamation action. Here, I think it was like a cultural reluctance to engage with his guilt still at this point, given that they were not necessarily committing on his guilt in the murders, but were perfectly willing to agree that he had committed intimate partner violence repeatedly. against Nicole, I thought it did a pretty good job of that, but it's also for what it is. You're grading on that. It was Lifetime, and hashtag firsties is not the play with this case or really any other case, but that's their brand. Yeah.
Tara:
[4:44] Right. Well, in terms of the abuse in the marriage, I think a lot of that was on the record. Like I know lines of that were taken directly from 911 calls because there was so much reporting around the number of times they were called to the house and what she said. And like some of that was even if he wasn't charged, it was on the record, I assume.
Sarah:
[5:01] Yeah. Well, and if you are familiar with OJ Made in America, which was the stunning document from 10 years ago, a lot of this is like they took it verbatim from these calls and from things in the record or that were reported before the trial proper got underway, which there was months and months and months of trying it in the media. So a lot of this will be familiar, certainly not in a good way. No.
Tara:
[5:30] Speaking of wanting to be on the record or not, Gerald Friedman, the director, decided to be credited as Alan Smithy. And when that credit comes up, you're like, oh, okay, this gives me an indication of what I'm in for. But some non-fun facts. He also directed the Charles Stewart TV movie with Ken Olin, Sarah.
Sarah:
[5:52] Mm-hmm.
Tara:
[5:53] It was okay putting his name on that one. The Charles Stewart one also co-starred James Handy. He plays the lead detective here. And the O.J. Simpson story was Gerald Friedman's last ever credit. He was only in his mid-50s when it aired, and he's still alive. So I don't know if this ended his career or if he ended his career with it or what, but just an interesting take in there.
Dave:
[6:15] We may never find what killed his career.
Tara:
[6:18] Yeah.
Sarah:
[6:20] Someone's out there looking for the real killers of his career.
Tara:
[6:23] Exactly. So this is a Lifetime movie, as we said, they definitely do portray the build from meeting a guy who seems too good to be true and tosses a football with Kevin, the sick kid, then convinces you not to go back to college because he needs all your time.
Dave:
[6:38] Did you see? Did you see the football player in me?
Tara:
[6:42] I deliberately did not call him Cancer Boy after Kids in the Hall of Brain Candy, but I said it in the room. Then he, you know, smashes up.
Dave:
[6:50] I'm here to say all the things you're afraid to.
Tara:
[6:52] Fair enough. Then he smashes up your windshield when you're late for class and then, you know, the rest. So that part of it was very lifetime-y. At first, I really sort of thought, oh, wow, they got some kind of injunction and they're making him look too good at the beginning. But I sort of appreciated in retrospect, like, even though it jumps around in time quite a bit and not on two linear paths either, like, it just sort of zigzags like a mountain range. But the structure of it was something I thought it did well, considering what a well-known story it was.
Sarah:
[7:23] Yeah, I thought it did okay with that. I wasn't especially impressed with the casting, but given the sort of Alan Smithy of it all, it's like, okay, they did what they could with what they had. Bobby Hosea is, I really hate making this note, but in the times, in the scenes when he is menacing Nicole, that is when it is the most effective. There's often a quality of stories like this, based on a true story or a documentary where you're like, this was the sort of hinge point and you have this anxiety that's like, why wasn't this stopped here? And he is really good at sort of putting you in that anxious frame of mind. So that part was, I mean, it's like unpleasant and I don't recommend it, but it was effective at least. But then there are many other scenes where it's like, what are we doing here? Like the multiple flashbacks to like Willie Mays trying to scare him straight are like, what is this? Why? Like, why didn't Willie Mays sue this production? Like, even if this happened, like, no.
Tara:
[8:37] Yeah. Speaking of the casting, Jessica Tuck as Nicole. I mean, I've seen judging Amy. I know she can act. I don't know why she is so bad in this. There's so many scenes where she's barely audible. It's like, why did you shoot the rehearsal? It's on that level of like, what are we watching here? Including when he's wrecking her car.
Sarah:
[8:56] I also think that now we have maybe a better concept after some other documentary projects of Nicole's vibe, for lack of a better word. But Jessica Tuck is not that vibe, in my opinion, but also did not have the benefit of that much material or sort of researchable. I think she was just trying to split the difference in some of these scenes and that it being a 90s Lifetime movie, it's going to be about the criminal, allegedly, and not about the victim. But she's not well cast. She does the best she can. I didn't really have a big problem with her. Terrence Howard as young A.C. Cowlings was- That was a surprise. He talked about knowing that it's not about you, but then doing 110% of the things during your scenes. Dude, chill.
Tara:
[9:54] Yes. Also, Kimberly Russell from Head of the Class as O.J.'s first wife, Marguerite.
Dave:
[10:01] I was really hoping when they had, what is his name, AC, later that it would have been Don Cheadle, just to keep that going. By the way, those scenes, the white bronco on the highway scenes where O.J.'s in the backseat, hugging the family portraits and multiple times threatening to shoot himself was the most overacted part of it. It was so bad. Not in a like acting sort of good way. It's just like, oh boy, Alan Smithy, please give somebody a second take. God damn it.
Sarah:
[10:34] Yeah. Although having just watched a recent OJ property that like is fine and well assembled, but also kind of has no reason to exist. A lot of this stuff is like they listen to the transcripts of a chase that here's the other thing. 100 million people saw that and when this came out you almost don't even need to do it.
Dave:
[10:57] Yeah you can certainly shorthand a lot of this definitely i was struck watching it that the 90s still have about 70 of the 80s in them and that's something you forget when you watch a lot of this stuff like we distill so cheap we distill a decade into certain things you know like i say 50s and And you're thinking like, it's red neon and black checkerboard diners and, you know, da-da-da-da-da-da.
Sarah:
[11:21] Elvis, poodle skirts, yeah, yeah.
Dave:
[11:23] Survived into the mid-90s. And there's so much of that here in like all the opulent rich person households are like, damn, this looks like a Salvation Army from like 10 years ago.
Tara:
[11:34] Yeah, it looks so cheap.
Sarah:
[11:35] Which, yeah. And you still see that like in the Florida of today because it's the same sort of peach and mint. Yeah. color way. Totally. It's furniture cycling through now multiple generations of second homes in West Palm. Yeah.
Dave:
[11:52] I mean, the Achilles heel of this is obviously they shot it at a period of time when the story was only half done because there's so much crazy shit that happens in the trial.
Tara:
[12:01] Yep.
Dave:
[12:01] And that wasn't even something I really paid a lot of attention to when it was happening. Like, everybody was talking about it all the time, but it's just like, I don't really care. But I know everything about it still. Everybody who lived through it, just through cultural osmosis now knows. Not being able to tap into that and then having to fill more time with the backstory, with the OJ, the early years. I'm like, I don't care, really. Like, who cares about OJ? They're not really doing it 30 by 30 style where they're actually like saying something about OJ and his place in society. And then the crime, they're just like, this is what happened to OJ. He had kind of a tough time. He met this girl. Like, it's really cursory, cursory. And we only needed about 45 minutes of the O.J. in Brentwood story to actually make this thing landing stick. Obviously, that's not a movie. But, like, it's really weird to think of a time where you can't digest the whole story, where you only have the actual crime to talk about and not everything that happened after. And who would have thought while they were making that, that, guys, it's going to get so much fucking weirder.
Tara:
[13:08] I know. Yeah. Yeah.
Dave:
[13:10] We didn't even get into like Cato the guest and all this sort of stuff. Like it's weird to only have this slice. And it's like kind of cute in a way, you know what I mean? Like, oh, we were so young there in the first half of that year.
Sarah:
[13:26] Yeah. But also, if you don't care about sort of the evolution of different kinds of true crime, timelines of true crime, how a case is thought of while it's still going on, sort of like an active news prospect versus like a historical prospect, then even for me it was like this was exhausting and i was having to resist cranking it up to 1.25 speed on youtube because it's not i mean it's not giving you that much but you know for someone like me who's like hmm i wonder what percentage of james handy's imdb entry is playing the lead detective because it was this it was like he has co-starred with judith light in like 15 of these So I'm going to have to run that information down, but unless you're me or Eve Beatty over at Best Evidence, this is not giving you anything, I wouldn't say. So, you know, leave it to the professionals, I guess.
Dave:
[14:34] All right, everybody. That's the theme, which means it's time for a little segment we like to call Ask E-A-S-G. Coink? All right. Before we get to your questions for us this week, we have to deal with Ask, Ask ESG. I am your judge. Beezo Laura asks, what two characters from the same show who have never overlapped their time on that show would you most have liked to see together? All right. First one out of the gate. Queens 113 said Brenda and Val on Beverly Hills 90210. So Tara, Sarah, feedback on this?
Tara:
[15:22] Oh, yeah. I would love to see that.
Sarah:
[15:24] Do.
Dave:
[15:24] And why would you?
Sarah:
[15:25] Yep, same.
Dave:
[15:26] What are we going to see? What sort of fireworks?
Tara:
[15:28] Oh, a bitch off, for sure.
Sarah:
[15:30] Mm-hmm. I mean, I think they'll probably be more or less on the same The Enemy of My Enemy is Kelly page.
Tara:
[15:38] True.
Sarah:
[15:39] But that's going to be some unbelievably good hair all in one frame.
Tara:
[15:43] Love it. It's true. They could Cobra Kai it where they, you know, it's an enemies to friends arc.
Dave:
[15:48] Right.
Tara:
[15:48] But of course, the backstory of Val is that she's been childhood friends with them for years, so, you know. depending on how complicated they want to make that history. We're talking about something that can never happen. And now I'm sad. Back to the list.
Sarah:
[16:03] Yeah, me too.
Dave:
[16:04] Ensign Eric, he of the steam mills, suggests Dr. Pulaski and Roe from Star Trek for a galactic level of no fucks given. And that would be so. And with an E, bent the rules a bit to offer Dr. Owen Hunt and the explosive device that took out Kyle Chandler and Grey's Anatomy. I mean, if you're one of those people that says the explosive device was a character unto itself, you can wiggle that one in, but we're going to call shenanigans on that one. My favorite one comes from Lucy, who said, I'd love Coach and Woody together on Cheers.
Sarah:
[16:36] Absolutely.
Dave:
[16:37] I know they're the same character type on purpose, but think of the misunderstandings. They'd have the most inane conversations just talking right past each other and it would drive Carla up the wall. Great pick, Lucy. And it is our winner this week. Make sure to DM me on Discord with your mailing address to claim your delicious prize. All right, let's get into your questions for us this week. First one comes from Mopsoukas, which 90s teenage TV character is shining a white hot spotlight on their present day midlife crisis by driving a Cybertruck? Tara.
Tara:
[17:09] Well, speaking of Beverly Hills 90210, Steve Sanders. He was an early tech adopter. I think he is car focused. He would think this was the newest, coolest thing, and he would jump on it, and I think he would regret it almost immediately. Sarah?
Sarah:
[17:27] I mean, I debated. My actual answer is Jordan Catalano's friend Shane, played by Jared Leto's brother Shannon, on My So-Called Life, but I did want to know who you thought it would be from Bev Niner, and I think it's David Silver.
Tara:
[17:43] Oh, I can see that too, for sure.
Sarah:
[17:45] I think he never shuts up about it, and he's always out in his driveway with a chamois and glaring at birds, about it. No sense of humor about it. And then trades it in for a white one. So the bird shit doesn't show up because he doesn't understand how bird shit works or anything else about the world. Dave.
Dave:
[18:02] Also thought about 90210 as a well for this answer. And I did think of both of those two characters. The reason I went with Steve Sanders, because he seems like the guy who would be most outgoing to tell people about his Cybertruck. I think David Silver isn't as like, you know hey guy look at me which steve sandra has that energy but it's that's it's a tight race i went with zach morris from saved by the bell oh yeah okay and then i pinged taylor cole our millennial baby and i said this question's right up your alley because there's about 90 teenage characters hit me what am i what are my blind spots i'm not aware of he said griffin hawkins adam scott from boy meets world classic teenage tough guy but deep down in a titled little whiner boy, absolutely went into finance and now drives a Cybertruck as a act of perceived rebellion. So that is the answer from somebody who lived through the teenage 90 years.
Tara:
[18:59] Gorgeous.
Dave:
[19:00] Dr. Calhoun, what's your frickin' favorite TV-friendly swear? Sarah.
Sarah:
[19:05] I think it's fitting that I'm going first because I actually find these on balance fucking annoying because they're too cutesy. Frel, Gorham, even Shazbot can fuck off. It's probably not a coincidence that so many of these are from space shows. But anyway, if I have to answer, I guess Fork and Shirt from The Good Place are the best. But even that got overdone pretty quickly, I thought. Dave?
Dave:
[19:31] Yeah, that's the problem with all of these is that they cannot hold the power of the real thing. So when you try to use them that way, they just fall flat and they make the scene, whatever you're doing, seem even more of a departure from what you're trying to establish as the tone. Like if somebody says, I'm going to frack and kill you, you're like, oh, that's cute. We're in a sci-fi show and you said fracking because you can't see I'm going to fucking kill you. That's my problem with these. But I sort of read this more like a substitution thing. So I'm going to go to my standard answer for this. This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps.
Tara:
[20:05] That's my answer too.
Dave:
[20:06] It is the best one of these where they took something from a movie, The Big Lebowski, when John Goodman is smashing up the guy's car. And he says, this is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass. And then John Goodman at some point in his life had to overdub this for the TV movie version. This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps. I absolutely love it. it actually kind of makes that scene better for some reason. So only one of these I can say, yes, that is the case. And Tara, you agree?
Tara:
[20:34] Oh, yes, that's my answer too. Didn't you have a stranger in the Alps? Yeah, I did make a shirt.
Dave:
[20:39] Yes.
Tara:
[20:39] Should bring that back.
Sarah:
[20:40] Forget you, Melod Farmers. That one's good too. This is absolutely correct.
Tara:
[20:44] Yeah.
Dave:
[20:45] VH4s, I'm going to say, what ghosts would haunt the house at your favorite vacation destination? So I've got Pythagoras, St. Anthony of Egypt, Mahatma Gandhi, d franz kofka mary shelley tolstoy and i got john harvey kellogg, My own stools, sir, are gigantic and smell no more than a hot biscuit.
Tara:
[21:04] Of course.
Dave:
[21:05] All vegetarians who in their afterlife choose to haunt my favorite vacation destination located at 6,202 East Broadway Boulevard in Tucson, Arizona. It's Sweet Tomatoes.
Sarah:
[21:16] Oh, boy.
Tara:
[21:17] Dave, I also picked Tucson for the same reason. I assume it's a mix of justly angry indigenous people and the very parched and desiccated settlers who colonized that area before EG's opened.
Dave:
[21:31] Oh, EG's. Okay, great. We're covering all our...
Tara:
[21:34] Yeah. I remembered EG's while I was writing this, like, goddamn, we're going back this year, and I'm already really excited to EG my heart out. Sarah.
Dave:
[21:42] Sarah, do you have a non-Arizona answer for us?
Sarah:
[21:45] This is why we cannot go back to Arizona. I am a no-ghosts-on-vacay guy, but my favorite vacation destination will not stay that for long if there's ghostiness. But Norman Mailer is buried not super far from where I go on Cape Cod. And I think that haunting would be at least interesting and possibly fighty. Let's find out.
Dave:
[22:12] Jovial gent, what is your favorite random music lyric? Tara.
Tara:
[22:17] This came up recently, but it's still Charlie XCX's I Split the Apple Down Symmetrical Lines. It was big the last time I looked at TikTok, like in the summer, and it still has lodged itself in my brain. has an ASMR effect on me. I'm not sure I've ever heard the entire song beyond what got clipped on TikTok, to be completely honest, but that's it.
Dave:
[22:36] What was the line again?
Tara:
[22:37] I split the apple down symmetrical lines.
Dave:
[22:39] Oh, apple. I thought you said Adam.
Tara:
[22:41] No.
Dave:
[22:42] Which also makes not much sense.
Sarah:
[22:44] Also impressive.
Tara:
[22:45] Sarah.
Sarah:
[22:46] Most of my finalists for this came from the same Talking Heads album, Fear of Music, but my most often used random music lyric is something that I grumble in the direction of my companion animals all the time. I have a clip. Hit it, Dave.
Dave:
[23:09] Can you translate that?
Tara:
[23:11] Yeah, I couldn't make that out.
Sarah:
[23:12] Whenever the pets are being dicks, I'm just like, you don't even know what a joke is. And there's also a part of the song where he's like, shit on the ground. See in the dark, which I like to holler at the cats when they're trying to sleep because I, too, am kind of a dick. Dave?
Dave:
[23:30] Easy answer for me. This is from Synchronicity2. Weird song featuring the line, we have to shout above the din of our Rice Krispies.
Sarah:
[23:47] That is a good one.
Tara:
[23:49] It's a very you pick.
Dave:
[23:51] And with an E, what is your elevator pitch for a 90s multicam Mullen sitcom? We had some disagreement about what exactly this question means, so we may have answered it in our own particular ways. No shame in that. Sarah, what is your tack and what is your answer?
Sarah:
[24:06] Well i went in a really meta direction which is that it is called mullin it over if we didn't all name it this i don't know what we're doing on this podcast and it's basically like a bunch of people elevator pitching a show about jim mullen oh okay just like a montage all right that's it dave the.
Dave:
[24:28] Way i tackled it is they wanted something that was mullinesque is that they wanted a.
Sarah:
[24:34] 90s sitcom.
Dave:
[24:34] That sort of had many of the attributes we've come to associate with Mullen from Mullen Dash. So that is why I am pitching a version of Dream On with Brian Ben-Ben, that version.
Tara:
[24:47] Yep.
Dave:
[24:47] From HBO's early days.
Sarah:
[24:49] Okay.
Dave:
[24:49] If you don't know Dream On, they do the show. And then when somebody says something and they're just like an apropos public domain clip out there in black and white, they slice it into the show. It's very gimmicky, but all those new slices of things are going to be black and white clips from Home Improvement and All in the Family.
Sarah:
[25:09] Okay.
Tara:
[25:10] So I went with, it's about Mullen at home. They fictionalize Mullen. So my idea is that it's like, it's Dave's World, the show that was a fictionalized version of Dave Barry, also a magazine columnist, possibly the newspaper. It's that, but everyone openly hates him, which drives him even further into seething resentments and misogyny. It's like the early Louis C.K. HBO show that was meant to look like a standard multicam sitcom. Lucky Louis? Yeah, Lucky Louie, but it was super hateful. Or like the Devin Banks phone six-second episode where it's like, I'm home. Oh, great. That's the tone. But it's all about mulling.
Sarah:
[25:53] Nice.
Tara:
[25:54] Yeah.
Dave:
[25:55] Kimba, what business... I love this question. What business should have a Japanese-style mascot and what should it look like? I really wanted to figure out one for Sterling Cooper from Mad Men. So this is what it is. It's an anthropomorphic glass of whiskey, but with octopus tentacles all around it, wearing Joan's pen necklace. And it's all cute and Japanese looking. And his name is Yoda Taco, which means drunk octopus in Japanese.
Tara:
[26:23] Wow.
Sarah:
[26:24] I love this.
Tara:
[26:26] So our beloved H-E-B, a real store, does have a mascot. His name is H-E-Buddy. I have a picture with him from the Austin Trail of Lights a few years ago.
Dave:
[26:35] I just realized saying that out loud. Buddy sounds like H-E-B-U-T, which is the actual last name of B. So it's very close.
Tara:
[26:41] That's right.
Dave:
[26:42] Good one on E-H-E-B.
Tara:
[26:43] So the problem is, not a problem, he's perfect, but if I were going to update it.
Dave:
[26:49] He's- Is he though? Because here's what the thing for H.E., sorry to, you know, to inject here, but H.E. Buddy, the only place I really ever see him, because he's the mascot and he's geared towards kids, unlike the Japanese mascots, which I think are just like a universal appeal thing.
Tara:
[27:04] Yes.
Dave:
[27:04] H.E. Buddy is, what actually is he? Is he a paper bag or something?
Tara:
[27:09] Yeah, he's a paper, this is what I was about to say before I was interrupted.
Dave:
[27:11] But my point is, the only place you see him is the kids gambling thing inside of the store.
Tara:
[27:17] No, there's a there's a suit. I saw him at Austin Trail of Lights. There is a mascot that like a person gets into the costume.
Dave:
[27:24] I've never seen anything else. So when you when you check out, if you're with kids, they give you gambling vouchers to go to this H.E. Buddy machine.
Tara:
[27:32] It's like a bachinko for kids. That is.
Dave:
[27:34] Yeah, it's like a Wheel of Fortune thing. And they get tickets for I don't even know what they can win. But anyways, it's like baby's first casino.
Tara:
[27:42] Yeah.
Dave:
[27:42] Proceed.
Tara:
[27:43] He's styled like a paper grocery bag. That's not what they're really doing at the actual store anymore. So in my update, he's still a grocery bag, but he's the reusable collector bag with Selena Quintanilla on it. Because those were really popular for a while last year.
Dave:
[27:59] He's not the paper bag anymore. He's whatever you bring to the store now for H-E Buddy to be the mascot of. It's a community effort. It takes a village to make a G-Buddy mascot.
Tara:
[28:10] Sarah.
Sarah:
[28:11] I am obsessed this past week with stuffed capybaras that have like removable donuts and pieces of toast around their necks. So that's why Capital One is getting a capybara who is green like money.
Tara:
[28:26] I have an update on that. There was a recent episode of Animal Control which featured a baby kangaroo, but they obviously did not have a real one on set. and in the thumbnail on the screener site for the scene where it is, it's Joel McHale holding a stuffed capybara. Like that was the one that did it. It's really funny.
Sarah:
[28:45] My people.
Tara:
[28:46] Yeah.
Dave:
[28:47] This next one comes from Tara Ariano.
Tara:
[28:49] Tara, do you want to take it? Sure. My question is, what is an enduring memory of visiting a friend's house and being confronted by their weird food? Either it's some food that's normal to you now or something that you still think is weird.
Dave:
[29:02] Okay, so what's your answer?
Tara:
[29:03] So Sarah, when she saw this, thought it was about creamed onions, which came up on a Dawson's Creek recap episode we recently recorded.
Sarah:
[29:10] Why am I being subtweeted about this again?
Dave:
[29:11] I've had creamed onions once in my life. I didn't even know that was a dish. And it was at Sarah D. Bunting's parents' house back in the aughts, I guess, probably. And I have never farted with such pounds per square inch force.
Sarah:
[29:29] Such horrifying intensity.
Dave:
[29:31] Yeah, they were good. They were just, they were fuel for some farty.
Tara:
[29:36] Yeah, no, I like them too. That's not my answer. My answer is when I was a kid, the daughter, one of the daughters of our God, my God parents, like friends family friends of my parents was as they put it then allergic to milk i guess now we would say lactose intolerant so when i went to a sleepover they made craft dinner aka craft macaroni and cheese but they made it without milk or butter or cheese what but they added tuna so it was just like mac and mac craft dinner noodles with with tuna yeah.
Dave:
[30:08] And no cheese.
Tara:
[30:10] So it wasn't even like tuna noodle casserole. And this probably happened when I was five years old. And I'm now 78. So that gives you an idea of how traumatizing it was.
Dave:
[30:21] I am surprised you actually eat tuna now.
Tara:
[30:24] Oh, my God. No.
Dave:
[30:25] Oh, my God. That's gross.
Tara:
[30:27] I mean, I don't really eat cooked tuna anymore. But yes, that was a bad one. Sarah.
Dave:
[30:33] But wait, do they? Sorry.
Tara:
[30:35] Yes.
Dave:
[30:35] I mean, not that you would know. Not that you were there while they were prepping this, because if you were, you'd be like, oh my God, please stop.
Tara:
[30:41] Yes.
Dave:
[30:42] But do you think they took a box of Kraft Dinner, aka macaroni and cheese, and removed the cheese pocket? Yes. Or did they just buy like plain macaronis and fooled you? Were they actually like Kraft Dinner noodles?
Tara:
[30:54] No, they were Kraft Dinner noodles.
Dave:
[30:56] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
Tara:
[30:56] Excuse me. Do you think I don't know Kraft Dinner noodles?
Dave:
[30:59] No, I don't know why I thought that. Of course you do.
Tara:
[31:01] You forget yourself. No, but I don't know what they prepared it with. Like, I don't know what added moisture to go with the tuna or other flavors. Possibly none. It was Saskatchewan. It might have just been plain noodles and plain tuna.
Sarah:
[31:14] And that's it. Snow.
Tara:
[31:15] Unseasoned. Anyway.
Dave:
[31:16] Landlocked Saskatchewan. Famous for its quality tuna.
Tara:
[31:19] That's right. The best seafood you can get is in a can.
Sarah:
[31:21] Oh, my God. That's...
Tara:
[31:22] Sarah.
Dave:
[31:23] All right, Sarah.
Sarah:
[31:24] That's really wrong. Confronted is not really the right word because these were a delicious revelation. But the first time I slept over at my friend Kathy's house, instead of pancakes or waffles, her mom made these crepes filled with sugar, not like crepes made with sugar, but crepes, and then rolled up with sugar in the center.
Tara:
[31:46] Whoa.
Sarah:
[31:47] And they were called something like sugar roll-ups.
Tara:
[31:50] Okay.
Sarah:
[31:50] I mean, it's so simple. It's so delicious. It was like a lot of, you know, butter and starch and then just straight sugar in the middle. It was fantastic, and it blew my mind. It was not something Barb ever would have made for us. And my friend had like four siblings. So her mom is just like sugaring them all up for the day. And it was like, wow, you just really love chaos. And I love you for that. So yeah, sugar roll ups. I think there was like an actual sort of like kidsy name that they made up. And I don't remember it, but those are yummy.
Dave:
[32:32] I had a friend whose parents were recently divorced. This is like back in early grade school, grade four or five. They were in the phase of I'm trying to win my son's love and win the parent competition. It was like one of those situations.
Tara:
[32:46] Yeah.
Dave:
[32:47] And I remember the first time I went over his house and for an after school treat, his mom had made cinnamon toast, which I've never heard of in my life. And I had one piece and it was like, what is wrong with my family? Why are we not eating cinnamon toast? And I went home and said, that's amazing cinnamon toast. So my mom's like, oh, fuck, you can't go over there anymore. It was basically like trying to make me think that she didn't say that.
Sarah:
[33:13] But she was like.
Dave:
[33:14] Oh, no, you know, giving him ideas about good things that are fun to eat. So that was a revelation. But on the other side.
Tara:
[33:21] Before we move on to what horrified Dave, I at one point went before my mom and my dad, she dated a guy who had a kid and I don't remember his name or the girl's name, but she introduced me to just putting like butter on a piece of bread and then putting sugar on the butter. the simplest most delicious seems unintuitive really good snack that you should never ever let anyone know it exists because that's all i'll ever want but similarly i had a babysitter who would do make us toast with um corn syrup like actual corn syrup not as an ingredient to process corn.
Dave:
[33:55] Syrup as something in your fridge that.
Tara:
[33:57] You can put on things is something.
Dave:
[33:59] That existed in the 70s and early 80s that i.
Tara:
[34:01] Feel like.
Dave:
[34:02] Time has forgotten because we had that giant thing of beehive corn syrup.
Tara:
[34:06] That was shaped like a beehive.
Dave:
[34:07] I don't know if it's a Canada thing only. Every house had that. It was something sometimes you put on cereal if you didn't have sugar, or you just, like...
Tara:
[34:14] Oh, I never put it on cereal.
Dave:
[34:16] Well, whatever.
Sarah:
[34:16] I mean, it was Caro in the States, but that actual bottle from 1977 or why ever, whatever, like, you know, energy crisis reason all the parents had for having fucking Caro.
Tara:
[34:33] Yeah.
Sarah:
[34:33] That original Carter era bottle is still in my dad's kitchen and every now and then i'm like yep still here so.
Tara:
[34:40] Good anyway dave what was what was on the other side of cinnamon toast for you.
Dave:
[34:44] Well i just want to say i'm gonna put this in the zoom chat so you can link to it later the beehive corn syrup bottle from the uh from the period yes uh so on the opposite side of things something that scarred me and today if you had to pick one food that would be your desert island desert island like Like food, I would say, okay, I'm probably going to go Indian. with for that but back in grade five or six i went to a friend's house like he was first generation born in canada's family was from india and for some reason they like wouldn't let me leave the house unless i had dinner but it wasn't even dinner time it was like they're having an extremely early dinner i don't know what the deal was it was kind of weird it was sort of like a food hostage situation to be honest with you so like my friend is like acknowledging the situation's like what are you doing mom this is weird like he doesn't want it he's never had it before he's like he's he's a young white boy from a very waspy town you're scaring him don't give him the food he doesn't want he.
Tara:
[35:45] Just had cinnamon toast last week.
Dave:
[35:47] And he still.
Tara:
[35:47] Hasn't recovered he.
Dave:
[35:48] Cannot have for sugar oh and so like i didn't know what to do because like okay now if i was presented with a similar situation i would just fuck off right but then i was like you know i was very polite and there were parents and old people and you're supposed to obey what they do. That was the thing. And so I sat down and like, well, at least try it. I'm like, okay. I'm like, oh, I hate this. I'm never coming back. I don't know if we're going to be friends after this. And the thing is, he's thinking the same thing. This is bad. He's going to tell everybody at school about this. Don't go to Neeraj's house because, oh, you know, when you get trapped in there, they're going to force food down you and you're not going to like it. It's something now that I would probably eat 10 pounds of at a city. It was probably aloo gobi or something like that. But I ate like one half bite. There you go. I got to go.
Tara:
[36:37] Your tongue is on fire.
Dave:
[36:39] Yeah, probably.
Tara:
[36:40] You've never had spices before.
Dave:
[36:41] I probably didn't have Indian food for another, I'm going to guess, 18 years or so. And then now it's like I could happily just eat Indian food for the rest of my life. But that was a real creepy moment in Dave's culinary history. Yeah.
Sarah:
[36:55] Cut to my first roommate after college. My first non-family roommate after college, also first generation, like born in Westfield, New Jersey. His mom would always send him home with like gallons and gallons of delicious home cooked like sag paneer, the little container of rita. He wanted nothing to do with it and ate fried chicken every night. And I, after like a week, was like, are you going to eat that? And he's like, no. And I was like, can I eat it? I was like, yes, please prepare some notes so I can pass them along to my mom. And I'm like, not a problem.
Dave:
[37:38] My dad was the equivalent of a highway patrolman in Ontario. And one of the places that a lot of the cops stopped at was this Chinese place on Highway 20 in Niagara Falls near Vaughan Hill, if you know that area, called Lung Yu's. Long gone, I am sure. But it's basically a truck stop. So that was our go-to Chinese place when I was a kid. I remember going there one time, just speaking to the fried chicken guy. We all went there eating our North American Chinese food. And his family had just come in from outside, the rest of his family. And they sat next to us with their 18 bags of Burger King. And I thought that was like a nice cultural exchange moment.
Sarah:
[38:14] Yeah, sure.
Dave:
[38:16] Pizza Carrie on a spice level of one pepper to 10 peppers. How spicy do you like your Chinese, Thai, et cetera food? Sarah.
Sarah:
[38:24] I'm going to come in around five if it's supposed to be or needs to be spicy for the dish to be legit slash not too anglified. Then I want it however peppery or spicy it should be. But past a certain point, it just like nukes your taste buds and you can't taste anything. So I don't need it at like a seven or eight. This isn't like a spicy dick measuring contest.
Dave:
[38:49] No, it is, Sarah.
Sarah:
[38:51] Not a thing.
Tara:
[38:52] Yeah.
Dave:
[38:53] And then she does. It's like a big chili pepper. Like, oh, my God. She was right. She was prepared for it.
Tara:
[38:57] Let's see that spicy dick.
Sarah:
[38:59] Whip out your Cholula anywhere you want. Yeah. Just medium.
Dave:
[39:04] Four to six. I kind of agree with you. I feel like I'd handle hotter than I typically will ask for. Yeah.
Sarah:
[39:10] For that reason.
Dave:
[39:10] Because you can't taste heat after a certain amount of time. Like, it stops being flavor and it starts just being, like, skin damage.
Sarah:
[39:18] Discomfort.
Dave:
[39:18] Yeah.
Sarah:
[39:18] Yeah. I was skin damaged.
Dave:
[39:20] So, yeah, I actually agree wholeheartedly with you, Sarah. Tara, you got a baby tongue. What's your answer?
Tara:
[39:26] It's true. And I'm also not trying to impress anyone. As I previously said, I'm 78 years old. Like, I don't, you know.
Dave:
[39:31] Whatever. How weird is it that one of the motismo things is the Scoville scale?
Tara:
[39:36] Yeah, I don't know. Every time I watch Hot Ones, I'm like, why would anyone agree to do this?
Sarah:
[39:42] Yeah, no. I am not wearing a scotch bonnet at any time. Sorry.
Tara:
[39:46] No. So if you, I mean, my answer to the one to 10 is like three, sorry. But if you give me the choice, it's like one, two, three peppers up. I'll probably go with the lowest one because I'm scared.
Dave:
[39:58] All right. Diatho has our next question. Fuck, marry, kill, pepper jack, goat cheese, harm. So I'm going to fuck goat cheese. Because it's the softest.
Sarah:
[40:14] I hate it here.
Tara:
[40:15] Okay.
Dave:
[40:16] I'm going to marry Pepper Jack because that's my legit fave day-to-day cheese. And I'm going to kill Parm exclusively because you called it Parm.
Tara:
[40:26] Sorry. Oh, I changed it in my own notes, too. I wrote the whole word. So I'm going to fuck Parmesan because for obvious reasons.
Dave:
[40:34] It's a hard cheese.
Tara:
[40:35] It's true, but, you know.
Dave:
[40:37] No, it's good for you.
Tara:
[40:40] Nothing says. moving on I'm going to marry Pepper Jack for the same reasons Dave said it is my actual favorite of these three options and I'm going to kill goat cheese which it's possible I've never had goat cheese in my life.
Dave:
[40:54] No it's not you've had salads with goat cheese on it yes I've made it's not something I would it's.
Tara:
[40:59] Not something I would choose.
Dave:
[41:01] Goat cheese is good actually but it says limited application that's for sure yeah I'm.
Sarah:
[41:07] Not one of those goat cheese haters but it's certainly the least essential in.
Sarah:
[41:11] This group so that's getting killed and i too i'm gonna fuck parmesan and marry uh mr jack.
Dave:
[41:18] All right here's our last question following questions about friend's house food pepper scales fuck mary killed cheese jovial jen asks it feels like extra extra great is slowly becoming a food podcast if it finally became one what would your first lead topic be.
Tara:
[41:36] It would be the definitive debate on raisins, and I feel that's not really in question.
Dave:
[41:41] We would have to have lots of guests on for like a real smorgasbord of opinion, I think.
Tara:
[41:45] Yeah.
Dave:
[41:46] It's something I don't think the three of us can really settle on because I know I'm outnumbered and I don't want to have to fight that fight.
Tara:
[41:51] Yes, of course. That's why I said the definitive debate. Beyond just the three of us, we would have to really blow it out. I don't want to do this.
Dave:
[41:58] You remember before the Internet, they would have those books at like newspapers and stuff would be like, you know, the experts on blah, blah, blah.
Tara:
[42:05] Yeah.
Dave:
[42:06] Who, what kind of person, what kind of skill set, what sort of profession would be somebody you would get the raisin expert in on?
Tara:
[42:13] A baker? I mean, what do you put raisins in?
Dave:
[42:15] Like a viniculturist or something like that? I mean, I feel like if we actually did that.
Sarah:
[42:21] Recipe writers for gourmet.
Dave:
[42:23] I feel like if we actually did that, we would have to do a legend.
Sarah:
[42:26] Celebrity chefs.
Tara:
[42:27] Yeah. But we're not going to do, I don't want to do this. Get the record. Stop planning it. Sarah.
Sarah:
[42:33] Yeah. Yeah, mine is raisins colon why they and David T. Cole are wrong. And there is no debate. It's a very short episode. You can listen to it while walking to the coffee machine and then you're done. Dave.
Dave:
[42:47] The Sweet Tomatoes Maximum Salad Plate Coverage Tips episode.
Tara:
[42:51] Yeah.
Dave:
[42:52] Featuring side discussion on the best of the rest of Sweet Tomatoes. When you've had your three salads, what else can you get? Is it you're just going to be muffing it up today or are you going to have some of that overcooked pasta? what's it going to be? That's what we discuss on the Sweet Tomato Strategy Guide episode.
Tara:
[43:08] You know, Sarah, you're also going to be off from podcasting at the same time we are in April. So if you want to meet us in Tucson, open invitation.
Dave:
[43:17] All right, here is your Ask E.H.G. question. What if we just had an open invitation? Anybody on a certain date that wanted to come? Just at Sweet Tomatoes.
Sarah:
[43:26] No.
Dave:
[43:27] We're inviting them over to the hotel after to talk to them and stuff. We're just like, here's the deal. We all meet at Sweet Tomatoes. We're all just going to talk about Sweet Tomatoes, Ask Sweet Tomatoes, and then we're all going to say goodbye after. Does that sound fun?
Sarah:
[43:41] Okay.
Dave:
[43:42] Okay, Lara has our Ask E.H.G. question this week. What's the biggest change of opinion you've ever had about a TV show? Good from bad, bad from good, A to Z, Z to A. Let us know in the Ask Ask EHG channel on Discord. We'll be back next week to pick a winner.
Dave:
[44:02] It was time for the extra, extra hot, great Tiny Cannon. Presenting this week is... Presenting this week is Tara.
Tara:
[44:14] Why did you say it like that?
Dave:
[44:17] Okay.
Tara:
[44:18] Yes, hello. It is me, Tara. Having watched the bone-breaking first few episodes of The Pit, I can imagine a future in which we're contemplating a tiny cannon or no-knack pitch in the category of illness, parentheses, horrifying. But today, it's illness, parentheses, comedic. Once Upon a Time, Once Upon a Time Proms Away promotional event was the penultimate episode of Party Down's long-awaited third season. Ron, Ken Marino, is very eager to impress Sloan Meeks, Lyric Lewis, an events legend who could help boost his business to a new level. He plans to power through, but he's feeling kind of weird after eating almost a whole platter of sea urchin appetizers, clip one. Hey, oh, Lucy, did you get any more sea urchin? because I wanted Sloan to try, you're feeling poorly. Stolen urchin? Stolen. And left in a hot car. Did it smell or... I can't smell or taste. He had COVID four times. Wait, are you telling me that I got food poisoning from eating bad sea urchin?
Sarah:
[45:26] Sorry, Ron. I asked my urchin guy to please not do that again. Oh, thank God. Thank God. I have food poisoning. Yeah! I thought I.
Dave:
[45:37] Handle the pressure, but this is a relief. Food poisoning.
Tara:
[45:43] I am sure we all, unfortunately, have our own tales of terrible food poisoning. Last year, I myself came home from a disastrous walk with our two dogs, as sweaty around the collar as Ron is. We see him next in the bathroom covering his face with pasty white makeup to cover the fact that it's bright red and covered in hives. To be clear, I did not shit myself walking our dogs, but it was touch and go for a second. I did have to sit down twice because I thought I was going to pass out.
Dave:
[46:08] I had a dream last night that I peed the bed. And I woke up and I'm like, oh shit, did I actually pee the bed? And look, it was all dry.
Tara:
[46:15] Okay, good job.
Dave:
[46:16] It was my tiny triumph.
Sarah:
[46:19] God. Welcome to the 50s, folks.
Tara:
[46:23] He's put on makeup to cover his hives. Then he walks straight into a wall, bonks his head, staggers back on his knees, then hits his head on the wall again and knocks himself out. Moments later, Ron comes to and rushes into the kitchen, clip two. Holy shit. Ron! All right, Ron, we're just going to find a secret.
Dave:
[46:52] And we're going to set up the prom court ceremony. Where's my clipboard?
Tara:
[47:01] So Ron thinks he's going to barf, and he does a little into the pot that he demands. But clip three. Oh, Jesus Christ. I need a pot. I need a pot.
Dave:
[47:14] Somebody give me a pot. That's not fun. What? Don't!
Sarah:
[47:29] Go for on it! Okay, everybody out! Everybody out! Let's go! Sorry, I'm late. Evie. Oh my god, your hair, I didn't even...
Dave:
[47:44] Let's just go. What is that? What is that? What is fucking wrong with me?
Tara:
[47:48] Jesus Christ!
Sarah:
[47:49] Let's go. Oh god, this is so bad! I meant to not flip the bar part.
Tara:
[47:55] Sorry, Zara. Ron is out of commission for the rest of the party.
Sarah:
[48:00] Sorry, listeners, all of whom have fled. This is the day we lost everything. Great job, Zara.
Tara:
[48:08] Ron is out of commission for the rest of the party, deputizing Constance, Jane Lynch, to close Sloan, which she does, powering through her own digestive distress brought on from the pressure of covering for him. She races to the bathroom to barf in private. she thinks, clip four.
Dave:
[48:25] Constance, this is the men's room. I'm sorry, I'm gonna check. It's done. I gave her a card.
Tara:
[48:41] Ron's sitting on the toilet. You exchanged cards? We exchanged cards. Oh.
Dave:
[48:52] I did it.
Sarah:
[48:58] Oh, God, it's so bad.
Tara:
[49:00] This plot line incorporates several elements I think are key to making illness comedic on screen. Number one, the illness can't be so serious that laughing about it feels inappropriate. Number two, the illness can't be so outré that the viewer can't relate. Number three, the performer playing the patient has to be totally committed and display absolutely no vanity about how they're going to look doing it. Marino gets disfiguring makeup, covers the disfiguring makeup barely, does a pratfall, then gets very publicly sick from both ends, ruining a pot forever.
Sarah:
[49:32] And.
Tara:
[49:33] Number four extremely specific fully work doesn't hurt for all of these reasons i feel that ron's food poisoning from once upon a time prompts away promotional event the most memorable tv diarrhea scene until st louis sushi broke onto the scene later that year.
Sarah:
[49:49] Oh deserves induction.
Tara:
[49:51] Into the illness parentheses comedic tiny canon also i'm sorry but i'm not that sorry um.
Sarah:
[49:58] Sarah you better start i mean i now i'm about to get sick from at least one end having listened to that like when we talked about the st louis sushi episode i was struck horribly by the, specificity of the sound effects like the splash back that it's like oh been there there's one particular like amidst all the tiny farts that like sound funny but if you've ever had this illness, which we all have, you're like, oh, you know, that way, like here be monsters.
Tara:
[50:34] Uh-huh.
Sarah:
[50:35] Imminently, like, you know, nutshell pass, or that's the end of those pants, that there's this one particular item that hits the side of the pot. It's like clang, and you're just like, just a chunk of poo that is like, yep, that's what this would be like. I am utterly nauseated and also extremely impressed. And I can't stop laughing because there's also still the farting, which like when you're going through this, you're like, I want to die. But also this sounds pretty funny. So yeah, I mean, I've watched this episode before and I the minute I realized what it was, I was like, do I really have to watch this again and put myself through this? But it's so good. Ken Marino is just utterly committed and the makeup in particular, just how his lower legs have no bones. Somehow when he swoons, it's, it's amazing. Everyone in the episode is very good. And the, all right, everybody out from Adam Scott, who is laboring under what someone thinks is a wig, but it's like nineties homage hair. It's all very good and a very good presentation also. So, and the best part is we never have to hear it again. Dave.
Dave:
[52:00] So there's three things. I apologize, Tara. I didn't really hear your argument after the third clip. But here's what I'm going to say. What makes this canon worthy? One is the in-universe self-awareness and public confirmation of the current illness as it is happening is extremely funny. That is sort of like one of the keys to that whole scene is that, you know, he is sick. He knows he's sick. You know, it takes a village to help the sick man. There is a little accent fart during Jennifer Gardner's hellos. I'm going to try to play it here. I think I scrubbed around the same thing, but this is the moment. sorry i'm late oh my god your hair i didn't even, so it's knowing what type of fart to punctuate the moment with too you just can't have the big rippers all the time you gotta have you know the aftershocks the little bloops and bleeps that accompany any real bout. Sizzlers, exactly, et cetera.
Sarah:
[53:09] It was really fun making money from this podcast. I enjoyed that. Bye.
Dave:
[53:14] And the other thing that makes it great is that the appliance in which he finds relief has, is basically an echo chamber. And that adds so much to the pulley work. It's when you actually can get a sense of the receptacle that is being used, even though it is thankfully off camera for much of the scene. So for those three reasons, I'm going to say this puts this scene up there in the Hall of Fame for sickness scenes. So bravo to you, Tara, for the presentation. Bravo to everybody involved in that one. Let's put this to the official vote. Sarah D. Bunting for the tiny illness canon. Yay or nay?
Sarah:
[53:56] Yay.
Dave:
[53:57] Oh my God. I'm going to say yay too. So, Ron Digestive Distress from Party Down Season 3, Episode 5, you are hereby inducted in the Extra Hot Gray Tiny Illness Canon.
Dave:
[54:12] Americans love a winner. Yep. And will not tolerate a loser. Nope. It is time to discover our not-quite-winners-ed-losers-of-the-week. First winner is the diplomat. It is booking Bradley Whitford. Did you see this guy's balls? They were weird for season three. I just want to ask you guys this question. Has he made a better career move than getting old and having his hair turn completely white? I feel like he's ascended to a different level since he's become a silver haired individual.
Tara:
[54:48] Yeah, I agree. For sure.
Dave:
[54:51] Also winner of the week, Christopher Walken. He's back. We've been talking about his Luddite tendencies vis-a-vis Severance. We've learned he doesn't have the equipment to watch Severance. He doesn't have a cell phone. But also we've learned this week, he has never emailed anybody.
Tara:
[55:08] What a life.
Dave:
[55:09] How do you operate in today's world? I mean, I guess the answer is assistance.
Tara:
[55:12] Yes.
Sarah:
[55:13] Yeah. I mean, if you're Christopher Walken, the world will find you, I guess. You don't have to deal with it on its terms.
Dave:
[55:20] I think it's because he wants to talk to people so they know it's good for Walken because he's such an individual voice. But here's my question for you guys. What are the next couple of things we're going to learn about Walken's lack of tech know-how? Like, what's the next thing after email?
Tara:
[55:36] He doesn't have a dryer.
Dave:
[55:37] He doesn't have a dryer.
Tara:
[55:38] He hangs all his clothes up.
Dave:
[55:40] All my clothes are wet.
Sarah:
[55:42] Churns his own butter.
Tara:
[55:43] And he doesn't have a microwave. That one might actually be true. I could see him being the kind of person who's like, I just don't trust him.
Dave:
[55:48] No, he has a microwave, but it's one of the original ones with the dials.
Sarah:
[55:53] Yes.
Dave:
[55:55] Yeah. Loser of the Week, also a follow-up, Wolf Hall Season 2, which the director said every streamer passed on and everybody involved at the top had to take a big pay cut in order for it to happen. Crazy. Like, I get that. I mean, I don't know if I was in the same case. I don't know if I would do that. It feels like you're letting, like, BBC et al win by doing that. But I guess if you really, really wanted to follow it up, I mean, I'm glad they did it. It's actually really a great season of television, as we were talking about it before.
Tara:
[56:25] Yeah.
Dave:
[56:26] But that's kind of a bummer. That's something that good had to do that to get on the air. And it really speaks to like how commoditized things are getting. Yeah. In the industry.
Tara:
[56:35] I mean, considering that they had to cut costs, you would never know it in like the sets, the costumes.
Dave:
[56:39] Oh, yeah.
Tara:
[56:40] It looks incredible. And I can't believe that Netflix would buy a sec, like the extra season of Borgin. But they wouldn't do this. It's so acclaimed, but things change.
Dave:
[56:50] Yep. All right, Sarah, not quite winner of the week.
Sarah:
[56:53] Well, this one could go either way, depending on who you decide the lead is. But Teresa Giudice said on Watch What Happens Live that she bonded with Bob Harper when he sent her workout DVDs while she was behind bars.
Tara:
[57:06] I think he said it when he was on the show.
Sarah:
[57:09] Oh, he said it. Excuse me. Okay. I mean, I wish Bob Harper well after his near-death experience. And, you know, hopefully he had a good influence on Tree. Doesn't seem super likely, but could be. And the loser is Ben Stiller, who apparently is a tyrant who has banned phones from the set of Severance because they drive him crazy. No problem.
Tara:
[57:36] Yeah.
Sarah:
[57:37] I mean, this is not the first recent intimation that Stiller is maybe a handful to work for in this context. The New Yorker piece about Adam Scott's long career rise from last month also made Ben Stiller sound like really a lot in terms of, what's the word I want, punctiliousness, perhaps?
Tara:
[58:03] Yeah, the part where they quoted the creator of Severance saying something or other, and then he had to call back and be like, uh, just kidding. Like, obviously, Ben Stiller told him, don't tell a reporter that. And he had to back off it, and that made it into the piece.
Sarah:
[58:15] Yeah.
Tara:
[58:16] Wow, dude.
Sarah:
[58:16] And what he said in the beginning wasn't even that pejorative, I didn't think, but I remember thinking the fact that you had to call back and clarify just made the original point for everyone. Great job, team.
Dave:
[58:29] I mean, is he banning them because they're disruptive and people don't know how to use do not disturb or is he banning them because this is his like method acting as director directive? Like he is one of those like I have to create the atmosphere that speaks to the people acting out my characters on severance. Like what exactly is the origin point for banning the cell phones? Like, do they go into that? No. Okay. So this is like, I'm a, I'm an auteur director and this is my environment creating idea. Like, is that the vibe?
Sarah:
[59:01] I guess yeah like based on the new yorker article i would say that is the vibe and that this isn't one of those things where some repeat offender asshole kept having their say unsolved mysteries theme ringtone going off during shooting and he finally had to be like okay then everybody puts them in a basket at the beginning like i don't feel like he would hesitate to sell out exactly who that was yeah right that he'd be like fucking buncy put it on mute jesus and then everyone wouldn't have to live in the bell jar i really feel like he needs the set to like reflect the exact concept of what they're shooting i don't i don't know bed.
Dave:
[59:45] Stiller read once that stanley kubrick made shelly duvall sleep in the meat freezer for six days he's like oh yeah that's great shining was awesome let's do something like that for severance.
Sarah:
[59:53] Yeah it's like this malikian exactitude that I think is maybe not. But I mean, you know, show's doing well. So what do I know?
Tara:
[1:00:03] The winner is Megan Park for, first of all, getting news coverage that showed me her face, which is how I found out that the director of one of my favorite movies of 2024, My Old Ass, now streaming on Prime Video, is in fact the same Megan Park who was like the sidekick best friend in The Secret Life of the American Teenager, that ABC family show that Shailene Woodley was in, where she was a pregnant teen. So good for Megan Park for rising above because wow, that show was so bad. But anyway, love my old ass. And now she is setting up YA series at Amazon with Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage of Dynasty Revival and Gossip Girl and dozens of other shows I have loved. Fame, I will watch this 400 times through. This is great news. Good job, Megan Park. Good job, Amazon, for once. my not quite loser of the week is Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan who did the thing where they put up an Instagram post that was like here we are in our costumes from When Harry Met Sally we're doing something pretty exciting and they think they're being so clever and then you look at the calendar and it's the middle of January and you're like whatever this is it's gonna be a Super Bowl commercial and it is they're recreating the fake orgasm scene for a Super Bowl commercial for Hellman's Is.
Dave:
[1:01:23] Hellman's the one that has two different names, depending on what part of the Mississippi you're on?
Tara:
[1:01:27] Correct. It's either Hellman's or Best Foods, depending on where you live.
Dave:
[1:01:29] So they're going to do a Best Foods version, too?
Tara:
[1:01:31] I don't have the answer to that. Probably not.
Dave:
[1:01:34] Okay.
Tara:
[1:01:34] But this is just sad.
Dave:
[1:01:36] Yeah.
Tara:
[1:01:37] For both of them.
Dave:
[1:01:38] So is she going to eat a big gob of mayo?
Tara:
[1:01:40] I don't know, but gross, Dave.
Dave:
[1:01:43] What? I mean, that's what she's got to eat, right? Because it's all have what she's having, and it's got to be Hellman's mayo.
Tara:
[1:01:49] Yeah.
Dave:
[1:01:49] Yeah.
Tara:
[1:01:50] Yeah.
Sarah:
[1:01:50] Like seven o'clock on Super Bowl Sunday, just go on a social medium and you will know the answer.
Tara:
[1:01:57] I think the ad is actually out now, so you don't have to wait.
Dave:
[1:02:01] What's the fucking point? Jesus Christ. Stop putting the ads out before the Super Bowl. Like, I don't care. But geez, like save some of the mystery.
Tara:
[1:02:09] I know. I don't know why they do that either.
Sarah:
[1:02:10] Well, that's like a quarter of the population that is only watching for the commercials that you just lost who are going to go watch Turner Classic movies instead.
Dave:
[1:02:18] Okay, but we're one step away from the smart person in the room saying, let's just say it's a Super Bowl commercial or like, you know, dance around Super Bowl.
Tara:
[1:02:25] Yeah.
Dave:
[1:02:26] But make people think it's our big commercial. Have everybody watch it before and save the $20 million it would take to actually air it because people are still going to put them on the list. Still going to talk about it with all the 10,000 day of Internet posts about it.
Sarah:
[1:02:39] Get a Budweiser Clydesdale for a completely unrelated promotion.
Dave:
[1:02:44] No, what they should do is recreate the Harry Met Sally scene with horses eating mayo. Now we're talking.
Dave:
[1:02:55] Hi, this is Kim Reid and welcome to the most awesome thing I saw on TV last month. This month, I watched Little House on the Prairie Season 4, Episode 7 called To Run and Hide. So Doc Baker is treating various townsfolk in return for things like a bag of apples, although Harriet and her dizzy spells pay in cash. Harriet must be in there every week because Doc Baker medically gaslights her because why believe women? Some things never change. Turns out Harriet thinks she has the vapors because that's what the heroine of her novel she just read had. And Doc Baker laughs in her face and tells her she has gas, which she well might. But also, what else does Doc Baker have to do than listen to Harriet's myriad and possibly imaginary complaints and actually get his bill paid with cash instead of apples? So then Stanley and Beth, a couple we will never see again after this episode, discuss how she's seven months pregnant and she lost her first two pregnancies, but she's never got this far along before. Stanley's sure this one's going to result in a baby, so he's building an addition on their house, and he gets so excited about the baby that he falls off the roof and onto the ground. Luckily, Doc Baker's riding up in his wagon, so he gives Stanley a once-over, but then he gets distracted by Beth, and he says, eh, Stanley's fine, but later that night, Stanley's in pain, but he doesn't want the doctor.
Dave:
[1:04:04] So the Ingalls family is up late reading and knitting and whatnot when Beth knocks on their door because I guess they're next door neighbors, even though we've never heard of this couple before. Imagine if this show populated itself with actual regulars that we could come to care about, even if we only saw them every so often, like Stars Hollow or something. Instead of these randos that we see once so that the Ingalls family member can learn a valuable lesson or get kidnapped or fall in love or whatever, and then they disappear to never be seen again. Anyway, did Beth run to the Ingalls house or ride a horse in her condition?
Dave:
[1:04:36] Doc Baker shows up to their house and examines a sweaty, gasping Stanley, and he says Stanley's hemorrhaging internally. Sounds bad. And then Henry does one long exhale, and that's a series wrap on Henry. Doc Baker feels bad. Like, honestly, didn't people on the prairie die all the time of illnesses or injuries that were treatable even then just because of distance from help? You'd think Doc Baker would be used to it by now. So as a result, Doc Baker says he's going to retire and raise corn so his mistakes won't hurt anyone but himself. Doc Baker pretends he's all chipper about giving up on his career, but Charles knows the score. So Dr. Logan, the replacement doctor, shows up, and Doc Baker tells him about exactly one patient to keep an eye on, Beth. I have to believe there's other people in Hero Township that need ongoing care, or at least a check-in once in a while. I mean, at least warn them about Harriet. So Beth goes to see Dr. Logan, who should be named Dr. Dick, because he's a real asshole. He barely looks at her and then he dismisses her and says, well, let me know when you go into labor. Again, what else does he have to do other than talk to patients? It's not like he has to bill or insurance or fill out paperwork or answer to basically anyone about how he spends his time.
Dave:
[1:05:41] Harriet has her first visit to Dr. Logan. He listens and takes her seriously, and then he offers to sell her his own tonic that will cure what ails her, and says she should take as much as she needs to feel good, which is a dosage that no doctor ever suggested at any time. Cut to Harriet, drunk as a skunk, singing loudly in her living room. Nels takes a look at the tonic and announces that it's 90 proof, and he reminds Harriet that she's the head of the Women's Temperance League, but she doesn't care, and she takes a big slug, and then she falls over backwards in her chair and falls asleep. It's a few years too early for the Women's Temperance League, but I'll allow it because Harriet and Nell's physical comedy is always welcome. So now Doc Baker's bad at farming and Pa sends Mary and Carrie over to check on him and Mary has to show him how to plow his fields? Doc Baker's real sweaty and do they have to call him Mr. Baker now? So then Beth has one labor pain and she sends Mary for the doctor and Mary can drive the wagon now? Since when? Why is she like a full adult now? Dr. Logan isn't at his office, which seems to be his M.O., so Mary Hall's asked to get her parents instead.
Dave:
[1:06:42] Beth seems happy to see Ma, and she's happy to be having her baby, and then like 10 seconds later, she starts freaking out. So Charles goes to get Doc Baker, and Doc Baker says he's not a doctor anymore, and then Charles gives him a big lecture about how Beth needs someone who cares about her well-being, and then he grabs Doc by the shirt front and threatens him until he agrees to come, like, maybe Charles is a bully? As soon as Doc shows up, Beth's like, everything's fine now, and then Mary is crying for unknown reasons, and Beth is laughing through her delivery like a real psycho, but she has been through a lot. And then Ma yells out for Charles, and they run inside because they think Beth died or something, but Ma just announces, it's a boy! And then Doc Baker's like, I have found my purpose and fuck farming, and also, Dr. Logan sucks, and we never saw Beth or her baby again. So that was the most awesome thing I saw on TV last month.
Sarah:
[1:07:41] Hello, Grandpa. Welcome. We're so glad you're here. We would be remiss if we did not point out that if you had been here all along in this episode, you would have heard so much more discussion. A 1995 O.J. Simpson Lifetime movie. How spicy do we like our General Tso's tofu?
Sarah:
[1:07:59] Much, much more. You know, our soup plantation remote episode is in progress and you didn't hear about any of that. So if you bump up that pledge just a skosh, you will hear all of that stuff, plus our entire back catalog. We would really love to have you. But we're glad you're here now so that we can tell you what we thought of the pilot of a political sitcom that is already functionally lost to history despite airing a mere dozen years ago, and that's Alpha House. Here is the IMDb description.
Sarah:
[1:08:30] Four Republican senators share the same D.C. house rental and face re-election battles, looming indictments, and parties, all with a sense of humor. We'll be the judge of that. Anyway, this was created by Gary Trudeau, who also created Tanner 88, which is what I initially wanted us to watch today, but I could not track down in a timely or legal fashion. Alpha House starred John Goodman as Senator Gil-John Biggs, Clark Johnson as Senator Robert Bettencourt, Matt Malloy, currently the president on Paradise, if I'm not mistaken, as Senator Louis Laffer Jr., and Mark Consuelos as Senator Andy Guzman. The great Julie White and Amy Sedaris play various wives. Haley Joel Osmond and Wanda Sykes were in this thing. And despite the fact that Goodman is apparently Hollywood's go-to casting for a Yeehaw Paul, I had never heard of this thing. Tara, Dave, had you ever heard of Alpha House before or interacted with it before this?
Dave:
[1:09:31] Yeah, I knew of it. It felt to me it's like one of those first gen streaming. It's the Lilyhammer for Amazon Studios. That's sort of how it occupies my space. Also post Veep. So big challenge for Alpa House right from the start. But yeah, I did hear.
Tara:
[1:09:50] Yeah, I'd heard of it. I remember it as a curiosity because when it came out, it was the same time that it launched the show Betas. So it was sort of funny that they had an alpha and a beta in the same season. But I knew it existed. I'd never watched it.
Sarah:
[1:10:07] It lasted 21 episodes over two seasons. You can watch them on Prime. That is who commissioned it. It was in kind of the first wave of scripted fare from Amazon was before Mozart in the Jungle and that like class of shows, which I think of as the first ones from Amazon Studios. but this came first. It was fairly well-reviewed in places like The Hollywood Reporter, but it came in the door after Veep and without the same teeth, so maybe it's like Studio 60 to Veep's 30 Rock? I don't know if that holds up. Very quick plot summary, which there isn't much plot here in the pilot, really. We're just getting introduced to our main characters, as well as to Senator Vernon Smiths, who is involuntarily vacating the upstairs bedroom, which is what allows Senator Guzman to move in. Clip one. Were you by any chance scheduled to turn yourself in at the DOJ this.
Sarah:
[1:11:25] Motherfucker? Okay, so that's just piss poor staff work. That, of course, is Bill Murray. Once that business is taken care of, there is a labored scene in the vein of Lib's idea of how conservatives are cynical issue shoppers, meant to establish that Lewis is in the closet. Huh? But it also contains a sugar bowl full of American flag lapel pins that's on their little breakfast bar, which is kind of the show in a nutshell, I thought. Not quite as clever or committed to scabrous snide commentary as it thinks it is. not focused on the real interesting stuff. And as a Carolina basketball fan, I didn't find the characterization of John Goodman's Gil John especially cute. His wife's clenchy hovering notwithstanding, Gil John is pretty cash about retail politics. Clip two. Well, it is a little unusual that you don't campaign. Why should I? I'm being.
Sarah:
[1:12:37] Titles, two national championships. Yeah, it does speak for itself. narrator no it doesn't if i didn't know that they make this a capital w whole thing in the season i would just leave it but i don't actually think it's a terrible idea to make gil john an ex-coach or storied athlete from north carolina but according to wikipedia the character is explicitly a retired coach of the carolina tarheel men's basketball team oh no the way he talks about his record here, you really can't necessarily tell that he even means hoops. This isn't how a guy apparently modeled on Dean Smith would talk about his accomplishments. And overall, it just feels like someone wanted to use the Carolina Duke rivalry, but had no firsthand understanding of it. Yes, Dave.
Dave:
[1:13:27] I feel like I missed something. I mean, I'm not a sports person, but why is this Tar Heels basketball thing? And oh, no, is there something scandalous about this?
Tara:
[1:13:34] Oh, because Sarah loves them.
Dave:
[1:13:36] Oh, OK. I thought maybe it was like the Duke lacrosse team thing or something like that okay.
Sarah:
[1:13:41] No yeah no no i mean they like there's a whole thing where his arch rival the duke coach i mean okay we also as we're recording this play duke like tomorrow, so um this is particularly irritating to me but like then two scenes later giljon finds out that the current duke coach not how this works is entering the race so giljon is actually going to have to make some effort in running. And it turns out that that coach is played by Frederick Weller, which is actually really good casting if you're going to go this route, but you shouldn't have gone this route. 92% of your audience won't really get this anyway. Just make up two schools and give Clark Johnson a line about historic rivalries and then you're done. Don't use real shit if you don't know what you're doing. Rant over. Then we're on to Lewis accepting the council for Normal Marriages Say No to Sodomy Award. Is this the clumsiest and unfunniest segment? I don't know. I didn't clip it. It was unbearable. Any thoughts on this?
Tara:
[1:14:48] No, just agree. Yeah.
Sarah:
[1:14:50] And then there's an extended sequence at the expense of Policy Wonkage's lowest hanging fruit, the filibuster. Although this is sort of a fun time capsule. Clip three. Rafael Edward Cruz. Jeffrey Lane, Are you sure? Andrew Ramos Guzman. Guzman is, of course, their fourth roommate. He was keeping Clark Johnson from filibuster napping by boning a lobbyist in the cloakroom. Clark Johnson has other problems. He's about to get indicted for what is unclear. Lewis has a Tea Party guy named Hickok questioning his masculinity in campaign ads. And the episode ends with a drunk Giljohn and Lewis taking target practice at a pumpkin in the basement of their shared townhouse, which Amazon's X-ray trivia function alleges is a reference to some crackpot theory about Vince Foster's death.
Tara:
[1:16:08] Oh, God. Ugh.
Sarah:
[1:16:11] Yeah. I don't know. I thought this was going to be terrible, so I liked it slightly more than I thought I would. But then by the end of it, I was much more disappointed than I thought I would be because it doesn't know what it wants to be. And also, this is just an utterly toothless, un-veep, unfresh take on Republican senatorial life in the Obama era. I'll keep working on finding Tanner 88, but yeah, this was not a success. So what did you guys think generally, Tara?
Tara:
[1:16:48] Well, first of all, save the listeners from telling Tanner 88 is on Amazon. It's just for pay. Yeah, this was, it was funny. You also linked Tim Goodman's review from when it first came out, his review in The Hollywood Reporter, and he's so positive. The worst thing he can think to say is it's a show about conservatives from liberals and as such is very pleased with itself, which is definitely true.
Sarah:
[1:17:10] Yes.
Tara:
[1:17:10] But even relative to Veep, it's just, this has no reason to exist. It's making such obvious points. The most fun part of it is there's a tag where Laffer's people have convinced him to go on the Colbert Report in order to show he's not chicken. and seeing these two very gifted improv actors doing what is obviously an improv in front of a real studio audience at Colbert was the best part of the episode where it just seems like relaxed and silly and like it has an idea behind it. And the rest of it is just so corny. And what's funny about Goodman's review is that it really reminds me of the time of like when you would just watch any show that HBO put on because it was an HBO show and you felt like you had to be in the conversation. The review smacks of that as well, where it's just like, look at what we can do in the streaming era, but then also ends with a recommendation like, well, if your DVR isn't too full, add this to it. Like, no, that's not how you watch this thing.
Sarah:
[1:18:11] No, I don't.
Tara:
[1:18:12] It's just still a basic misunderstanding of how shit works like in the early teens. I know it's complicated, but if you're a TV critic, you have to know that isn't how it works.
Sarah:
[1:18:23] Yeah.
Tara:
[1:18:24] There was a little bit of a zest to this because we watched it the same day that Bob Menendez was sentenced in his corruption trial.
Sarah:
[1:18:33] Gold bar Bob.
Tara:
[1:18:34] So there's that. But the rest of it is just it's so smug and dumb. And like the I hope we are past the anyone who's a virulent homophobe is closeted trope because no. Like it's just it's such a such a time capsule and not in a good way.
Sarah:
[1:18:53] Not in a good way.
Dave:
[1:18:54] When I was young and the Daily Newspaper came to our door and the family would gather around the fireplace. My dad would learn about the news of the day. My mom would open up the women's section.
Tara:
[1:19:04] Sure.
Dave:
[1:19:05] Spectrum. And I would get the comics and I would start reading all the comics I enjoyed going down the page. Peanuts, Garfield, Bloom County, et cetera, et cetera. And then you get to fucking Doonesbury and you're like, oh, man, I guess I'm out of comics. Oh, well, what else can I do now?
Sarah:
[1:19:23] Yep. Prince Valiant. Thank God you're here.
Dave:
[1:19:26] And that's where I'm at with this. This is created by Doonesbury guy. And it has the, you know, the bite and the punch and all of the comic timing of Doonesbury, which is, you know, he made a career out of just saying what's wrong with a slightly comedic bent. Like there's not a lot to Doonesbury. Doonesbury is basically a Twitter post.
Tara:
[1:19:47] Yeah.
Dave:
[1:19:48] That's sort of what comes across here. It's sort of a low effort political take a year after Veep, which has a lot more teeth. So it compares very poorly. Never mind all just the things that are comically out of date, like the sodomy award as a comedic swipe, but also references of people explaining what TMI is to other people who don't know what TMI is. Like, these are things that are, okay, here we are. We're in the 2010s and there's no way around it. And it just ages very, very poorly. Despite a lot of very talented people and star power in here, I was more interested in the Bill Murray character's arc. You know, the guy that wakes up too late to give himself up to the DOJ now has to go through a very public group walk. And that seemed more interesting as a starting point for things. And then we sort of like then get more boring with the senators or whatever they are, day to day management of their duties such as they are. And it was just sort of like low key dull, but also in the points where it thought it was the most barbiest, extremely dated and cringeworthy. And that mix, not great.
Sarah:
[1:21:00] Did anyone else have this experience sort of watching Clark Johnson? Like whenever Clark Johnson is on screen, I don't know if it's like homicide, not baggage, but like, I don't know if it's homicide. I don't know if it's the wire. I don't know what it is, but it's like you learn almost nothing about what else is going on with this guy. But anytime he's on screen, I wanted the show to just be about him. Feel like, I mean, there were occasional like scenes where I'm like, if only the show were only about Betancourt is in session, like whatever crappy pun. You want to give it. He just felt like he that character was like knowledgeable and serious. And these others were not dimensioned. And because it's Clark Johnson, you're like, oh, like, let him walk us through.
Tara:
[1:21:47] He's he's whatever the story is. Yeah, he's the least sitcom me, I would say. So that might be what you're responding to.
Dave:
[1:21:55] I can see that.
Tara:
[1:21:56] I mean.
Dave:
[1:21:56] But also, like, this is 2013. Here we are, 2025. Back then, we were like, the outrage is stuff like Obama's wearing a tan suit. This is unacceptable. Now we're watching in a time period where, well, you know, the world's going to shit and there's nothing anybody can do about it. So, you know, the problems, the conflicts, the political conflicts of Alpha House are very quaint now.
Sarah:
[1:22:23] Yeah.
Dave:
[1:22:24] You know, like looking back and that's part of it, which makes it feel toothless. But even compared to Veep, which was like the same year, same time period, it is like just humming along at a very Doonesbury pace. And that is sort of like the problem is it doesn't really sort of amp it up. The biggest pressure point is, and probably like the best scene, I thought, was the 15 seconds where John Goodman realizes what's happening as far as the strategy of his campaign and how it just changed. 180, just because somebody else dropped dead. And now there's another him in the race and what that means for him. Like that was like interesting, but it only took 15 seconds and they don't really like go anywhere else in this episode on that. And the rest of it, the roommate they're trying to woo, it's basically sleeping his way through Washington is like, OK, I mean, there's got to be something else to this character. And he didn't really deliver in the pilot. So, you know, it's got pilotitis, but also it just like didn't put all its cards on the table and really needed to, especially one year after Veeb.
Tara:
[1:23:26] Yeah, it feels like it has one idea. And the idea is Republicans are callow. And it's sort of like VEEP has that idea, too. But it's like, and so are Democrats for all these more complex reasons, you know.
Sarah:
[1:23:39] But it was like their one sort of interesting idea was like, well, what would happen in the state of Carolina if you put like two blue blood program coaches up against each other? Like how? I mean, these guys would never take that fucking pay cut, even if they retired to go into public office. But like what would happen? That's sort of interesting. But this is from a show that like he's sort of idly playing with a basketball bobblehead on his desk during one of the clips I played and the blue in the uniform is the wrong blue. Like this is basic shit. And now I don't trust you to have any interesting ideas because you don't do your homework. So also, this is from the before time. Sometimes that translates, but not for a project like this, which is not specific enough even.
Dave:
[1:24:31] Yeah, sometimes you're like, oh, those were the days. But this is just like, oh, well, those were the boring days, according to Alpha House. And they just didn't really bring anything to life. Like, this is all the same fodder for Veep. But Veep manages to, like, amp it up and make a meal out of it. And this one is still just snacking on what the reality is. and it's sort of like sadder for it.
Sarah:
[1:24:50] Yeah, so go watch Veep instead, I guess. Sorry, everyone.
Dave:
[1:24:55] All right, everybody, that is it for this episode of Extra Extra Hot Great. We traveled back in time to revisit the O.J. Simpson story before answering your burning ass EHG questions like, which 90s teen character is currently driving a Cybertruck? And fuck, marry, kill, cheese edition. Tara got Ron Donald pooping into a bucket in the tiny illness canon. Then we celebrated those who weren't quite the best and worst of the week and wrapped it all up with a look at the Alpha House pilot, courtesy of Sarah. Next up, you're cordially invited to our coverage of You're Cordially Invited on EHG Prime. Remember, we're listening. I am David T. Cole. And on behalf of Tara Arellano.
Tara:
[1:25:40] I'm getting too old for this.
Dave:
[1:25:42] And Sarah D. Bunting.
Sarah:
[1:25:44] Did you see the movie Carrie?
Dave:
[1:25:46] Thanks for listening. And we'll see you next time right here on Extra Extra Hot Great.
Sarah:
[1:26:04] Go Brongan! Okay, everybody out! Everybody out! Let's go! Oh, then I'm going to die! Ah!