Keeping As Quiet As Possible About Our Little Secret

Dave: [0:10] This is the Extra Extra Hot Great Podcast, episode 328 for the November 30th, 2024 weekend. I am over-appointed Christmas tree lot David T. Cole, And I'm here with Fairweather worshipper, Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah: [0:30] See you next year. Dave: [0:31] And some kind of businesswoman, Tara Ariano. Tara: [0:34] My dream job was in London. I don't know anything else. Tara: [0:45] Welcome to Extra Extra. Hot great for another weekend. The Thanksgiving weekend, in fact. Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate. We are not here to talk about that holiday, though. We're here to talk about Christmas in the form of Our Little Secret, a Netflix original holiday movie in which Avery, Lindsay Lohan, and Logan, Ian Harding, were childhood friends, then a teen and young adult couple. Everything was going great until Avery's mother inconsiderately died, and Avery started wanting to escape everything about her. On the eve of her departure for her dream job in London, Logan was on his way to proposing when Avery stopped him. Things got ugly, and they broke up and had no further contact until a decade later, when, unbeknownst to each other, Avery ends up dating Cam, John Rudnitsky, whose sister happens to be Cassie, Katie Baker, currently dating Logan, and they all end up at the siblings' house for Christmas. Oh, no! When they're reintroduced, Avery pretends she doesn't know Logan. He plays along. Holiday hijinks ensue. The movie is the first ever produced screenplay for writer Haley DeDominisis. It was directed by Stephen Herrick, a veteran of the straight-to-home video sequels to both Into the Blue and The Cutting Edge, and two different Dolly Parton holiday TV movies. Tara: [2:11] This dropped on Netflix November 27th. Since it's a movie, we may talk about any part of it. Let's do the Chen check-in. Sarah, should our listeners watch Our Little Secret? Sarah: [2:21] I mean, if you absolutely despise this genre, know that this is, of this genre, it's, I would say, top of the class. So if you like this kind of thing, yes. Tara: [2:32] Dave. You suck and you're wasting my time. I'm with Dave. I did not care for this. Let's get into this. Sarah: [2:43] Oh, okay. Dave: [2:44] I just want to say, during any point of this conversation, we want to bail. I've got a game time ready to suck up the time. I'm just putting that out there. Sarah: [2:52] Okay. Dave: [2:53] That's how much I want to talk about this. Okay, go on. Tara: [2:55] I mean, I do have notes, so let's go through at least some of them. The secret is obviously a big feature of our little secret, but did either of you think we don't want everyone to know we fucked when we were 22 was reason enough for Avery to make Logan pretend they don't know each other? Sarah, you defended this movie. You go first. Sarah: [3:15] Okay. That's overstating a bit. Tara: [3:18] Yes, it is. Sarah: [3:18] There is a lot about this movie that is not good, but I think that's a problem of the genre. As to your actual question, no, that secret was not adequate and seemed stuck in a hallmark, everyone's genitals are extruded plastic vision of what these movies are supposed to do. What mostly appealed to me about it is that Lindsay Lohan is still extremely charming, extremely charismatic, appears to have been born to do this kind of movie, and looks fantastic. And so maybe the fact that I'm just, like, happy for her and enjoyed Kristen Chenoweth, like, basically being the portrait of mother-in-law Grey character, I would never seek this out except to watch it for this. Tara: [4:05] Yeah. Sarah: [4:06] So low expectations helped me, but yeah. Tara: [4:10] I can't believe how many, like, factual issues I got hung up on. Like if Logan and Avery have been dating their current partners seriously enough to spend the holidays together, wouldn't they have ever said, oh, yeah, I almost got engaged to this person? You know what I mean? Sarah: [4:25] Yeah. Tara: [4:25] Like that never came up. Truly. I mean, I wish either of you had seen the very mid Glenn Powell, Sidney Sweeney rom-com. Anyone but you. I know you didn't and you shouldn't. It's bad. But this is like an inside out version of it. And I'm in terms of like keeping a secret where I won't get into it. It's much ado about nothing modernized, but it's the same sort of thing where like we meet again at a big family event. We don't want to ruin it for everybody. So let's fake blah, blah. And then that's how we fall in love for real. But I'm sure someone at Netflix saw that movie last Christmas and was like, we got to do a version of this. And that's how our little secret came along, because like that's also a Netflix. But truly, listener, don't don't watch it. The other another problem, Cassie's clearly coded as a bad girlfriend because she's blonde and she has a terrible fake tan. she gives Logan good advice about his job. She invites his mother and grandma over for the holiday when she thinks he misses them. She is barely an obstacle person for the couple that's clearly obviously supposed to get together, right? Sarah: [5:30] Yeah, she didn't seem that bad to me. Neither of them seemed that bad. But then there are these moments where you understand the genre and the tropes and what is, quote, supposed to happen. But there is a elastic, or not elastic, but you get pretty wide latitude thanks to those tropes in terms of things being idiot plotty and having big set pieces really premised on, for instance, people having just met their beloved dog that day, not asking any follow-up questions when they're warned about stuff, all of that. So this wasn't as tone deaf in terms of like, the obstacle person is so boring or so rude that you shouldn't even know them, never mind be fucking. Tara: [6:19] Right. Sarah: [6:20] So this wasn't that bad. But then it was also like, all right, but then why, if they're not that bad, wouldn't you trust them with information about your past? Tara: [6:28] Mm-hmm. Sarah: [6:28] Like you said. Tara: [6:29] Yeah. Sarah: [6:30] Then adding in the whole thing. And why is Judy Reyes here? What? Tara: [6:34] Or Tim Meadows. Yeah. I hear what you're saying about if this is the kind of thing you want to watch at the holidays, it's fine enough. I just feel like one of our potential not-quite-losers of the week this week was Netflix because Tim Robbins gave an interview where he's like, watching the original movies makes me fear for the industry. And I was like, I see where he's coming from. It's okay to demand more of movies, even when they're in this genre. We're all from the 90s. We saw good rom-coms. We know how they are made. They were not that rare back then. I know why this kind of shovelware happens, but it's like, maybe next year we could do like 70 new holiday movies instead of 600 because it feels like everyone's doing them and they all just look so they all look like shit they're all like so disposable and it's just like who are who are these for like is it that important to see something new rather than something you've seen before but you know you'll like like that was the that was just what was so depressing about this to me. Sarah: [7:41] Yeah. Or really make it new. You have Lindsay Lohan, you have Judy Reyes, you have Kristen Chenoweth, like these people have agreed to be here and the check cleared. Yeah. Maybe not this chat GPT version of a thing that we've seen a gazillion times, which Hallmark actually does better than you do because it manages expectations. But like Lohan comes sparkling onto the screen and you're like, oh, great. And then it's just mid. And there's nothing wrong with mid or consuming mid, but like there are opportunities here to really kind of invert expectations with this genre and make something new and cool that then everyone else is trying to copy in turn. Do you want to watch this instead of It's a Wonderful Life? Probably not. But for what it is, it's fine. I just I kind of agree with you that it's like, do we need more fine? Tara: [8:33] Right. Sarah: [8:33] No, let's let's shoot for rad. Tara: [8:36] Yeah, that's exactly. Okay, Dave, any final thoughts before you move on? You're so mad. Sarah: [8:41] Wake up, Dave. Dave: [8:42] I mean, I would disagree that Lindsay Lohan was sparkling in this. I thought she was sleepy throughout the whole thing. I didn't really get a lot of energy from anybody here. But for me, there's one joke that they really think is going to be something, and they hammer on it, but it goes absolutely nowhere. And it's this Dorian Gray painting thing where they do family portraits. They do one every year. Kristen Chenoweth's character is the same in every painting over the span of 20 years, whatever it's been. That's it. Tara: [9:12] Yeah. Dave: [9:13] It's just that the paintings have the exact same part for her in it. It doesn't go anywhere. Tara: [9:19] Right. Dave: [9:19] There's no supernatural or anything about it. Tara: [9:21] Right. It's not a photo. Dave: [9:22] But they like do the joke 17 times and they show like there's a slow dolly cam going down the hall showing every single one of the eight paintings and it's like, okay. nope, no payoff, nothing. And I just felt like the whole... Sarah: [9:37] That's in the sequel. Tara: [9:39] God forbid. Sarah: [9:40] Our little secret, everyone's dead. It's like Dr. Odyssey, but at Christmas. Tara: [9:46] Yeah. Dave: [9:47] And it was, this was terrible. Tara: [9:49] Yeah, I agree. Sarah: [9:50] All right, let's move on. Dave: [10:03] All right, everybody, it's time for a segment we like to call Ask E-H-G. All right. Sorry. These guys talk too long. We don't have time for that game time. Could have been a game time there. Guys that are talking. Well, I mean, I'm just saying. Tara: [10:29] We could still do it in another episode that we're taking today. Dave: [10:32] I'm throwing it out. Tara: [10:33] Okay, fine. Dave: [10:34] Sorry, Erica. We're throwing out your game. It's never going to be here. We'll use it. All right. Let's get to last week's Ask Ask ESG question. I am your judge. It came from Rinzi. She said, Tulsa King has cemented my belief that Martin Starr would be an amazing hang. I would love to get a cup of coffee with him. Who would be that for you? Before we get to your answers, I would just want to put in here, because we can spit him into TV, I'm going to choose Harrison Ford just for the challenge of filling 30 minutes of conversation, just to see if I can do it. Sarah: [11:06] I'm not sure you could. Will you be doing your imitation of him at this coffee? Dave: [11:10] What the fuck's this? Why are we here? All right. Here are your answers. First of all, we had lots of support for recent Canon winner Jeff Hiller as a potential great hang. Seekent said Seth Rogen and Chandler Bing, which sounds terrible. Sarah: [11:27] Yeah. Dave: [11:28] Eric expertly qualified this answer of Jason Mazoukas with for a maximum of two and a half hours. Sarah: [11:36] Uh-huh. Dave: [11:37] But our winners are going to do two winners this week. Tara: [11:40] Oh. Dave: [11:40] Sophie Brooks for suggesting Weird Al, who listeners have listened to Sassy, will know we ate next to at Sioux Plantation in Los Angeles years ago. So I propose that Sophie and Weird Al get together at the Tucson, Arizona Sweet Tomatoes. Tara: [11:53] Yes. Dave: [11:54] For their Hank sesh. and our co-witter is Graventy who wants to hang with Jenny the donkey from the Banshees of Insurin which I would totally get in on if possible that would be a great hang so both of you win hit me up on discord DM me let me know your postal address and I will send you a little sticker pack for your troubles all right let's get into your questions for us this week first one from Meredith how do you decide which shows will be lead topics on the main podcast and Which ones will be covered on Extra Extra Hot Great? Tara, master of scheduling. Tara: [12:29] All things being equal and assuming we get screeners for both, the buzzier ones go on the main show and Extra Extra Hot Great is for more fringy stuff. Like, for example, a Netflix Christmas movie starring Lindsay Lohan, for example. I mean, finding Mr. Christmas isn't something we ever would have done on the main show either. But like, you know, Dune Prophecy is big. That's basically how it got decided. Dave: [12:53] Once in a while, it's just totally dependent on the schedule on which it airs, like a Marvel show that drops on Wednesday night. Tara: [12:59] That's right. Dave: [12:59] Would be a week old by the time it came around to Prime's. Sarah: [13:02] Yeah. Dave: [13:03] Ellen, what's your favorite Thanksgiving dessert? Sarah: [13:06] Well, it was my mother's pecan pie. Nobody else really got the ratio of nut to unbelievably diabetically sugary filling correct, in my opinion. And I never wanted any other time of the year. So that would be my qualification. um smith college pecans for the win but now that that is no longer in play pumpkin pie with a big dollop of cool whip because i am a basic dave okay. Dave: [13:32] I was gonna ask what are the traditional thanksgiving desserts because this is not an area of expertise or experience for me yeah pumpkin. Sarah: [13:40] Pie sweet. Tara: [13:40] Potato pie pecan pie apple pie. Sarah: [13:43] I feel like gets sometimes yeah yeah i mean Any brown pie, I guess. Dave: [13:49] The brown pies. Tara: [13:50] Yeah. Sarah: [13:51] All right. All right. Dave: [13:51] I mean, I could hang with a pecan pie, I guess. A very small sliver. Tara: [13:55] Mm-hmm. Dave: [13:56] Sliver. My pie tastes go towards, like, blueberry. Tara: [14:00] Yeah, you like a tart pie. Dave: [14:02] I don't like apple pie, so I don't know. I don't know. I don't think I'm a good Thanksgiving hang. Of the delicious brown pies, I could hang with a pecan. Tara: [14:10] Yeah. It's pumpkin for me as well. I feel it should be a year-round food. I love pumpkin pie, and I would prefer it with vanilla ice cream rather than Cool Whip, personally. Dave: [14:21] D. POV-16. While watching Say Nothing, I was often distracted by how much Lola Petticrew looks like a young Calista Flockhart. Which actors remind you of other actors and does it affect your like or dislike of them? Jeremy Allen White is a CGI version of a young Gene Wilder. Tara: [14:38] That's true. Dave: [14:39] And I like him less because of that. Tara: [14:42] This was a feature on FameTracker that we used to do. We called it the Hollywood Gene Project. The theory was the younger actor was the clone of the older one. We documented cases that were current back then, like Helen Hunt, Lili Sobieski. That very much dates the site's heyday. The most recent example of this for me was the season three premiere of American Horror Stories. The episode was called Bestie because the girl who plays the lead, Emma Helene, looked so much like a young Chloe Sevigny that I was astonished to find out they're not related. Like, I looked in multiple places to be like, this can't be true. They're not. That episode also features Jessica Barden from Dune Prophecy and Jeff Hiller from Somebody Somewhere, so it was a real extra hot, great 537 fest. Another couple of pairs, Fiona Shaw and Fenella Woolgar from Call the Midwife, look her up, and Lindsay Duncan and Kelly Riley. But in terms of liking, doesn't affect my opinion of someone unless I know the young actor reminds me of someone and I can't place who it is and it bugs me. Sarah. Sarah: [15:45] Whenever we're watching The Boys, it is like really weird to me the hologram flicker of Jack Quaid where from some angles he really does look like the, if they made it, of Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan that he like legit is. But then other times he really looks like Pacey era Joshua Jackson. And it's like, each of those is like striking, but then that they're happening in the same scene sometimes. It's like, I don't, I feel like it's tearing a hole in the fabric of time and space and I don't care for it. My other example is Eddie Redmayne and Jessica Chastain, which is value neutral. To me, I just think they might be the same person and I don't actually hate it. Like I sort of would like them to reshoot that Veronica Mars episode and have Eddie Redmayne be the neighbor? Like, why not? Let's have fun in life. Yeah. Dave: [16:38] Oh, yeah. We finished Day of the Jackal, too. I enjoyed the ending. I know we can't really talk about it because it hasn't aired, but I enjoyed the efficiency of the last, a few minutes of it. Tara: [16:48] Yeah, super satisfying. Dave: [16:49] Yeah. Sarah: [16:50] Same. Tara: [16:50] I'll also say about Jack Quaid and Pace and Joshua Jackson, he knows that. He's apparently been told that a bunch. It's not just his face, it's also like his manner. And he talked about it on either Comedy Bang Bang or Hollywood Handbook, I forget, Wish. So he's aware. This is something he gets, apparently. Dave: [17:07] C. Kent, the weirdo that wants to hang out with Seth Rogen and Chandler Bing together, asks, what show are you just fucking tired of hearing people go on and on about ad nauseum and why is it Terriers? Tara: [17:19] It's not Terriers. I never hear anyone going on about Terriers. Dave: [17:23] Yeah, what year are you living in? That's the problem. Not enough people were talking about Terriers. Tara: [17:28] Yeah. Yeah, Terriers is great. Watch Terriers. But I feel like what he's describing does not really happen anymore. Like we're post-monoculture. The closest I can think of in terms of excessive media coverage, which is different from people going on and on about it. It's just bloggers trying to get clicks. Dave: [17:46] Those. Tara: [17:47] Are stranger things when it's on. Dave: [17:49] And industry. Tara: [17:50] Which i personally think people are trying to turn into the new succession and i don't see that journey for it dave. Dave: [17:57] Well succession was one of my oh. Tara: [17:59] For sure yeah. Dave: [18:00] Answers for exactly that reason and i think it is exactly what you're saying it's not people going on and on about it because the stuff people go on and on about are like survivor season 67 right oh my god yes you know like yeah and then i just tune it out, But I guess when you are, for you guys, checking feeds and stuff for stories and seeing what other people are talking about, like Succession, The Bear. Tara: [18:23] Oh, yeah, for sure. Dave: [18:24] A few years ago, Ted Lasso. Tara: [18:26] Yep. Dave: [18:27] That kind of stuff. Sarah: [18:28] Yeah. Dave: [18:29] What do you got, Sarah? Sarah: [18:30] Yeah, mine is White Lotus. And that's one of those like, oh, well, if you're a TV critic, you must be watching X. things that like there is a sort of stable relationship between what people think I quote must be doing with my day and what I'm actually doing. And that relationship is estranged when it comes to the reality. I'm sure White Lotus is objectively good and more for everyone else. I just don't enjoy watching it. It makes me really uncomfortable and life's too short. Dave: [19:01] And with three E's, what show surprised you the most this year in a good way? And what was the biggest TV disappointment of 2024. Sarah. Sarah: [19:11] Oh, gosh. Surprised in a good way. Shogun, Baby Reindeer, and the, I mean, it's not that this was brilliant, but anything called the life and murder of Nicole Brown Simpson, you're like, this is going to be real bad. And it was actually quite well-meaning and bittersweet. And I was surprised. It's still only a B, B+, but credit. They actually did something that centered a victim. Congratulations. Biggest disappointment, the Bears' third season. For sure. I feel really bad saying that, but God, I'm exhausted just thinking about it. And also Manhunt. I'm glad Anthony Boyle finally got something that he was in that I was like, oh, here's what Anthony Boyle can do. I knew it. But Manhunt sucked. Oh, my God. Tara? Tara: [20:06] Well, of course, Franklin, just kidding. Surprised in a good way. I already mentioned it in passing on the main show, but Anatomy of Lies, the Elizabeth Finch doc series, I thought was just going to end up being the same as the Vanity Fair article because it was, you know, produced by Vanity Fair Studios. And then it turned out to be super juicy in a way that it truly thrilled me. It was one of my most joyful experiences of watching TV. And also, again, talk about this on the main show, too. junior taskmaster, I was like, I don't know if they're going to be able to pull this off. And like, again, I have to say credit to the casting directors because they really so far three episodes in have done a fantastic job. Surprised in a bad way. I went back because I did a post for Crack that was like the most anticipated comedy events of 2024 Q1. And I put Palm Royale, the Kristen wig show at number one it was so wow but on paper you see it you're like kristen wig and carol burnett two of like the greatest physical comedians of this or any era and it's such a bummer and just a huge wet fart of a show um it really sucked ass so don't watch palm royale on apple tv i mean no one's watching anything on apple tv but definitely don't watch that dave hey space show Oh, yeah, space show. Dave: [21:29] Yeah. Tara: [21:29] I mean, yes. Dave: [21:31] Well, keep in mind that it's surprise buy, so it's not, we're not just talking about best shows, but shows that we didn't think were going to be as good as we are. I agree with Sarah, Shogun. When you look at the lineage of Shogun, you're like, okay. But they pulled it off, and that was... Definitely my number one. I'm going to put Fallout in this category, too. Tara: [21:47] Yeah. Sarah: [21:47] Oh, yeah, true. Dave: [21:48] Because it's kind of a trope-y setting and video game translations. Not traditionally super great, but that was a lot of fun. And Doctor Odyssey, I thought, was better, dumber. Tara: [22:01] Yeah. Dave: [22:01] Good, dumb, Venn diagram, Doctor Odyssey. Tara: [22:04] Yeah. Dave: [22:05] Especially the first few episodes. And worst was Elsbeth this year? Was that 2024? Sarah: [22:12] Barely. Oh, yeah. Tara: [22:13] No, it was. It came out in March. Sarah: [22:14] It was Super Bowl. Dave: [22:15] Yeah. Sarah: [22:15] Yeah, yeah. Dave: [22:15] I'm going to put that there. Mostly because what preceded it in its universe is so much better than what they're doing. And I'm going to assume it's because it's networky that it really couldn't elevate itself to the good X. But it doesn't. Tara: [22:28] Yeah. Dave: [22:28] I dropped it pretty quick. All right. Sid, you are in charge of making one season or one episode of a TV series mandatory viewing for a particular audience. What are you picking and what group is watching? I'm going to give Star Trek Lower Decks for people who don't particularly like Star Trek, but like to laugh. Tara: [22:49] Sarah? Sarah: [22:50] I am doing season one of The Wire for city council people who are thinking of giving more funding to their local police. Tara: [23:00] Tara? Well, I'm going straight to the cops, and I'm going to sit them down and make them watch Netflix's miniseries Unbelievable to learn how not to investigate a rape case. Dave: [23:12] Chris LeClaire, EHG has launched a kinda exhausting marketing campaign a la Wicked. What vaguely related, extremely tangential tie-in products are you incorporating in the deluge of hot greatness? Tara: [23:26] Okay, I just read that they spent $350 million marketing this movie. That's not even what they spent on the movie itself. Like, I know you can't tell anyone else or any other company how to spend their money, but yuck. Like, you know, it's kind of a trope. Like, everything I have found out about this thing has been against my will, and that's how I feel about the Wicked movie. Dave: [23:49] By the way, they should make a Wicked candle. That's 99% wick. Tara: [23:56] I saw someone on Blue Sky saying they were irritating their child by repeatedly calling it wicked, pronouncing it wicked. This is the kind of thing you should be doing if you have children. Sarah: [24:08] In my opinion. Tara: [24:08] But anyway, to answer the question, we're going to be doing Frank's Red Extra Hot Sauce, Schneider's Extra Hot Dogs, which come 14 to a pack. This is a Canada-only promotion. Extra Hot Cinnamon Gum, Extra Hot Grated Parmesan Cheese, and, of course, extra Icy Hot. Sarah. Sarah: [24:28] I also at Icy Hot, for when you sprain something, laughing at our wit, will be collaborating with Archway to make a special oatmeal chocolate chip cookie, no raisins, Chen Chicken class of 2024 tees, and a stocking stuffer slash travel-sized speed stick by Menon. Tara: [24:50] Nice. Dave: [24:51] I was thinking hand warmers, The chemical hand warmers you can buy, except they are made in and sold from countries with lax safety regulations. So you can make them like too hot. Like, maybe these will burn me. This is mostly inspired by the Tracy Jordan meat machine episode of 30 Rock I recently watched, but I think the strategy is sound. Tara: [25:13] Love it. Dave: [25:14] All right, let's get to your question to answer this week. It is time for the Ask Ask ESG question. It comes from surprising trombone music. Great name. What upcoming show is most giving you should have been or stayed a movie vibes? Sarah: [25:30] Plenty to choose from, I'm sure. Dave: [25:33] Let us know in the Discord. We will do judgment in the future. That's all I'm saying from now on until we get to 2025. Sometime in the future. Oh, by the way, I will create threads in that channel that you can put your answers for each episode as we go along. So wait until I create the thread for it. 328, pop your 328 answers in that thread. Dave: [25:55] It is time for the Tiny Cannon, presenting today, Tara. Tara: [25:59] Hello. Dave: [26:00] Hello. Tara: [26:00] Season 4, episode 13 of Friends, titled The One with Rachel's Crush, is primarily about Rachel's crush, introducing Joshua, played by Jennifer Aniston's then-real-life boyfriend, Tate Donovan. We aren't here to talk about that. We're here to talk about the B-plot, or to be precise, one teeny tiny moment in it for this, the line-reading Tiny Cannon. Chandler has been dating Kathy, played by Padgett Brewster. Kathy's an aspiring actor, which is how she initially met Joey in an acting class. The two of them started dating. She met Chandler through Joey. Chandler belatedly figured out he really liked her, probably more than Joey did or ever would. And after a couple of scandalous kisses and a rift that risked tearing two best friends and roommates apart forever, Joey decided not to stand in the way of Kathy and Chandler's love, but he might as well have, because it takes almost no time for Chandler to fuck it up. Kathy's in a play where she plays a sex worker and has to thus simulate sex with her co-star. Chandler gets in his head about it until Joey tells him that Kathy and Nick's scorching hot stage chemistry is actually good news for Chandler. It means there's sexual tension because Nick and Kathy haven't actually had sex. Instead of just being satisfied by this, Chandler goes back to see the play again, bringing Ross again. and here's what happens in the lobby afterward. Let's hear that clip. Tara: [27:24] All right, right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat and, Okay. So, listener, you can't see Ross follow that okay by deliberately closing. Tara: [28:34] His mouth and departing the scene rather than try to rescue Chandler. You can hear the live studio audience being really into this physical choice. Ross considers trying to smooth things over, then just pieces out instead, all in less than two seconds flat. I can't defend Chandler's behavior in this episode, New York and Ross, which makes the understated reaction here so funny to me. I know neither of you is the friend's psycho I am, and that is correct, probably, but I hope you will give David Schwimmer his props for the very funny turn he gives to this, okay, and inducted into the line reading Tiny Cannon. Dave: [29:10] Thank you, Tara. Sarah? You go first. Sarah: [29:12] This one, I think, would have benefited from this actually being a visual medium instead of, you know, being in the way that we joke about. Because David Schwimmer has a series of sort of pleading and... faces that they keep going to in Two Shot. I always have kind of felt like he was underrated, like he tends to be towards the bottom of everyone's list of friends. He's always in the top of my list. So it was no surprise that he played this really well. And that line reading is very funny. I don't know about canon worthy because you can't exactly see what's going on. I do take your point that you can hear the studio audience reacting, and that might sort of bolster the case. But I'm sort of on the fence about in the sort of broad sweep of Rossian line readings, if this is one that should be in the tiny canon. I just wish that you could see it, and you can't. So I'm going to let Dave— Wait. Dave: [30:13] Do you mean you can't see it when you're watching it, or you can't see it right now? Sarah: [30:16] That you can't see it. Like, it's a line reading, but it's so reliant on the physical comedy. So I guess what I'm asking is, like, in this, you know, non-visual medium, what are we considering as part of the, like, is all of that context considerable? Dave: [30:35] I think you're fine to make up your own rules here. I don't think we need to be too dogmatic about it. So let's consider the whole package, shall we? There's a line reading that involves not only the throat, but the rest of the body. Tara: [30:48] Okay. Yes. Sarah: [30:49] Why don't you talk about your thought process, and then I will spend some time with my thoughts. Dave: [30:55] I agree with you that David Schwimmer should be in the top half of the Friends Actors list. I always think Matt LeBanc is first. Joey's the best friend. I'm sorry. If you don't agree, then you're watching it wrong. I hate to say it, but you know. Tara: [31:08] I love Joey. Dave: [31:09] Yeah. Joey's special is two pieces. And Ross, like Ross is an annoying character, but David Schwimmer is really good at playing Ross. And I like Phoebe as a character, but I only like Phoebe in very small amounts. So I feel like that might put Ross above Phoebe in my listing. So it might be Joey, Ross, Phoebe, and then the rest. This was pretty funny line reading. And yes, it marries a very defeated okay with some great body language. But let's consider it all, shall we? And say it is a line in body reading. And this was pretty funny. Made me laugh. And we've all been there where we're like, I probably should do the right thing. But you know what? It's not worth my time. I choose me. Tara: [31:56] There's no winning. Yes, exactly. Dave: [31:58] And then you fly away as a bat. Sarah: [32:00] Yeah. You actually can sort of hear, now that I'm thinking about it, like, even if I'm only doing it on the aural merits, you can sort of hear at the end of the Y in OK. Tara: [32:11] Yeah. Sarah: [32:12] Him just, like, pulling the, like, just hitting the manual override button and being like, nope, we're ejecting from this cockpit right fucking hell. So, yeah, it's true. Dave: [32:23] And it's also like if you are immersed in friends and you see it as part of like things that aren't line readings, like the, you know, tone it down gesture with the double hand cup thing and all that sort of stuff. Like it all becomes sort of this nonverbal or semi-verbal Ross lexicon, which actually could have been the canon subject matter as well. But I think it works as a line reading. Right. Tara: [32:45] There's also the not the finger gesture where you slam your fist together. Dave: [32:50] Absolutely. All right. So I'm going to say yes. So, Sarah D. Bunting, what say you now that we're agreed that we can consider the physicality of it as a line reading? Sarah: [33:00] Uh, I say yes as well. Dave: [33:02] All right. So, okay, from Friends Season 4, Episode 13, The One with Rachel's Crush, you are hereby inducted into the extra hot, great, tiny line reading canon. Dave: [33:14] Americans love a winner. Yep. And will not tolerate a loser. Nope. It is time for the not quite winners and losers of the week. I will go first with our not quite winner. It's our good friend, Alan Sepinwall. Mentioned by full government name in the latest Treehouse of Terror. We're well past peak Simpsons, but damn, that's pretty good call out. To be mentioned by name in the Simpsons. It's an episode set in the future. The Alan Sepinwall is actually Alan Sepinwall III. We're still keeping it in the family trade. So great news for Alan. Your legacy is intact. And are not quite loser of the week is anyone who buys and wears Walton Goggins Google Glass, Google Goggle Glasses. Tara: [34:03] You got it. Dave: [34:04] They're like blue blockers to the nth degree. They're just absolutely ridiculous looking and not in like a coming back around again. Like these seem like they are the cyber truck of celebrity eyewear for 2024, perhaps. Sarah: [34:20] Even he can't pull them off. He can't. Tara: [34:22] That's bad. Dave: [34:23] Yeah. Sarah: [34:23] No. Tara: [34:24] He's the best. Dave: [34:25] Mm-hmm. Kind of a swing and a miss there, Walton. Sarah. Sarah: [34:29] Okay, True Crime 2-Pack. My not-quite-winner is The Curious Case of Natalia Grace, which is getting a, quote, final chapter sequel in January. I mean, first of all, I believe that when I see it. Second of all, this final chapter is like, you know, going vine to vine with other abuse allegations that came up at the end of the last update. And I just hope that the actual winner in some way is actual Natalia Grace, who is being compensated or getting support via these endless updates about this just really fucking grimy, depressing story that seems to be benefiting nobody but the network. So I guess they're the not quite winner. Yay. Sarah: [35:14] Speaking of that network, not quite loser. Quiet on set. Dan Schneider, the, you know, credibly accused of verbal abuse and just being a neck-massaging weirdo on Nickelodeon shows, is permitted to pursue a defamation suit against Quiet On Set's producers for basically telling stories about sexual abuse by other bad actors, as it were, on those shows, but then kind of just conflating and collapsing all of these allegations together and letting viewers think. Or so he alleges that he also was guilty of more serious sexual impropriety. And I spent a lot of time thinking about the chilling effect of these sorts of lawsuits on journalism and documentary filmmaking. And on the one hand, I feel like the Schneiders of the world is suing is just more bullying and abuse. But on the other hand, I watched Quiet on set and it didn't go out of its way not to collapse all of these allegations together. So I guess we'll see what happens. Sigh. Tara: [36:20] Yeah, it has a lot of ethical problems. I would say. Really soft-soaked the Drake Bell story, for example, in order to get him to come on camera and tell his story of also being abused. But, you know, he's an abuser, and that was sort of swept under the rug, in my opinion. Sarah: [36:37] Yes, it was. And that was weird to be reviewing and being like, why is it incumbent on us, the reviewers, to point this shit out? That's gross. But on the other hand, I get it. So, access documentary-ing is no better on film than it is in print. Just saying. Tara: [36:59] My not-quite-winner of the week is Blue Bloods, which is closing out with guest shots from, among others, Edward James Olmos. And do you guys know why they got him at this point in the show? Sarah: [37:12] Mm-mm. Tara: [37:13] Because it's almost over. Sarah: [37:17] Oh. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you! For blundering right into that. Tara: [37:25] That's exactly why I picked that. I have no opinion about Blue Blood. It's none of my business. My not-quite-loser-of-the-week is Brett Goldstein, co-creator of Ted Lasso, nakedly trying to get in on the shine of the currently-in-theaters movie Wicked by claiming that Ted Lasso was inspired by The Wizard of Oz. Like, you know, it's barely a story. Like, all you're saying is that Ted Lasso is about a person going to a place and learning lessons. That's like everything. Dave: [37:54] What is a lasso but a big wick? If you stick it in a big enough tub of wax, you got yourself a giant candle. Tara: [38:02] Yeah. Shut up, Greg Goldstein. Dave: [38:05] All right. Here it comes. Kim Reeves, the most awesome thing I watched on TV this month. Kim: [38:13] Hi, this is Kim Reid, and welcome to The Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Month. I tried real hard to find a good Thanksgiving-themed episode to watch, and I ended up with Season 2, Episode 10 of The Love Boat, which was barely a Thanksgiving episode, but it was still awesome. If you've ever watched The Love Boat before, you know it has three or so plot lines that converge at the end to someone. But did you know there were literally different writers for each storyline, and they're credited as such? So weird. So we start with the first storyline, when during boarding, Julie reveals that their chief engineer is called in sick, and it seems to be news to everyone that they can't sail without a chief engineer. They also apparently have zero plan for dealing with such a situation, so they tell some employee named Tony, who was just about to disembark, that he has to stay and sail with them and miss vacation with his family. To sweeten the pot, Julie tells him his family can come with, so they sneak his family on board and don't tell the captain. Tony is Italian, if you couldn't tell by the name, so since the 70s he has like a million relatives and also a live chicken and they all come on board. Julie divvies the relatives up amongst the crew for sleeping purposes. There's a lot of shenanigans where Captain Steubing almost finds the chicken, etc. The grandma makes spaghetti and sauce in Julie's cabin, and everyone gathers to eat, but the chicken escapes, and the kid runs after it and, of course, runs into Captain Steubing, who is remarkably unsurprised to find a child holding a chicken on a ship. The grandma doles out spaghetti by just pulling it out of the water, which seems unhinged, but I guess among all her cooking equipment, including a portable stovetop, She didn't bring a colander. Kim: [39:40] Anyway, Captain Steubing says Tony's family members are technically stowaways and they either have to pay the fare or get off the ship. Tony definitely either needs to start a union or find another job because this is some bullshit. He didn't even want to be here today. And now he has to pay for his five family members to go on what we've always been told is quite a luxury cruise. Julie, Gopher, and eventually Captain Steubing decide they'll pay for Tony. But Tony says he'll manage somehow. If I were Tony, I'd be stealing jewelry from drunken vacationing rich people in an effort to redistribute the wealth, but I digress. Anyway, the takeaway at this point is that Captain Steuben gives Tony's young son a dollar coin, and also Tony has to somehow figure out how to pay for this expensive vacation that wasn't even a vacation since he was working. Meanwhile, in the second storyline, an old lady played by June Allison, who was a big-time movie star in the 1940s, but sadly I only know her from her Depends commercials, is losing her vision and she can't deal. Her husband, played by another big-time mid-century movie star, Van Johnson, wears a lot of makeup, but she can't tell because she's blind. This is sort of like if Ralph Macchio and Elizabeth Shue were on the love boat now, and also Cobra Kai didn't exist. Anyway, Van encourages June to learn and adjust, but she thinks she's too old to learn anything new. Kim: [40:51] Doc tells Van that he's coddling June and she needs to learn how to be independent, which, mind your business, Doc, what do you know about long-term marriages? June says she's just never going to leave their cabins and she can't get around on their own. And Van basically says he's going to die first, so she needs to learn how to deal. And then he gives her a cane and he tells her to meet him in the lounge and leaves. Could she maybe practice first? So Van leaves and June immediately bangs her shins on the coffee table. Ouch. But then she finds the lounge and the captain asks her to dance and she and Van are in love, but she still can't see his enormous amounts of makeup, which is probably for the best. And then in the third storyline, Reverend Peter Graves from the Mission Impossible TV show meets up with a couple from his congregation. Let's call them religious wife and gambling degenerate husband. You know he's a gambler because his sport coat is really ugly. An ugly sport coat with 70s shorthand for bad news. Later, he wears an ascot tied around his bare neck under a button-down shirt. Anyway, his wife really wants the Reverend to find a lady pal because he's been widowed for a while, which this is also none of her business, but if people minded their business, the show wouldn't have any storylines. Anyway, Religious Lady is psyched when some hotsy-totsy sits down next to the Rev at the pool. It's Pinky Tuscadero. Religious Wife decides to make sure Pinky's seated with the Reverend at dinner, conveniently next to her table so she can eavesdrop. Pinky turns out to be a Vegas stripper, and Religious Wife nearly chokes on her cocktail shrimp. But the Rev is unbothered. There's a lot of late nights on the Lido deck where the Rev promises he doesn't mind, and Pinky can't believe it, and he tries to convince her that he doesn't consider her a fallen woman, etc. Kim: [42:19] So then the three storylines converge because the degenerate husband is in the casino, paling around with Tony, the engineer's son, and playing the slots. You know, normal stuff, hanging out with a fourth grader in a gambling establishment. It is the most budged casino, like there is wood paneling on the walls, like your finished basement from 1982. Kim: [42:36] Meanwhile, the Rev is making out with Pinky on deck, and she's a good 20 years younger than him, plus he has that white hair which makes him look like her grandpa. Kim: [42:44] Religious wife tells Rev she disapproves, approves and she's going to tell the church board of trustees about his wanton ways. And then Rev tells Pinky she'd make a great wife, which I don't care that she's a Vegas stripper, but he's only known her a maximum of four days at this point. So this all seems a bit sudden. So then they all gather for Thanksgiving dinner and the Rev says he's thankful for love and Pinky's wearing a purple velvet slanket. Religious wife is disgusted and her husband says he doesn't want to be married to her anymore, which what? So religious lady finds her degenerate husband playing the slots in the low Budge Casino, and he says he'll find an apartment when they get back because she's become self-righteous and narrow, and he spent too much time at the track. So their marriage sucks now. She vows to change her ways while standing in the weirdly empty casino, and they kiss. So I guess everything's fine now. Kim: [43:28] Tony's kid overhears the degenerate gambler saying he's broke, meaning he's run out of the money he meant to gamble in this particular session, but he thinks degenerate gambler means he's broke broke. So he gives the gambler his dollar coin, and the guy immediately throws it in a slot machine because he's a degenerate, and he hits the jackpot, and he gives the money to Tony to pay for the cruise. He delivers this money, which I guess is all in dollar coins, like does this casino not use chips, in a giant bag, which I'm shocked did not have a dollar sign printed on the side. But now Tony can pay for the cruise that should have been free, and Rev and Pinky are getting married, and June can walk with her cane, so all of their problems are solved. And that was the most awesome thing I saw on TV last month. Tara: [44:17] Welcome in, grandpas. You missed some bad puns. You missed some real angry commentary about a Netflix Christmas movie. We answered your questions. We picked some winners and losers. Kim was here. She told us about the most awesome things you watched this month. You missed a lot. And I just want to remind you that with the holiday season upon us, you can request that anyone who asks you what you want for Christmas this year or whatever holiday you celebrate, You can direct them to an Extra Hot Great gift subscription. Go to ExtraHotGreat.com for the links and more information on how that all works. You don't have to pay to get the whole full episode. Make someone you know do it. today's extra credit topic is the best green things on tv in the tradition of our past extra credit topics on purple things fluffy things wet things buzzing things and floating things i have asked my co-hosts to come to this discussion with three great green things and we can go around one one one etc i also have some backups in case any of mine were picked Dave, why don't you go first? Dave: [45:25] Okay, I can do that. Best green things on TV. I have a little triptych here. The three best green things from The Simpsons. Tara: [45:33] Okay. Dave: [45:33] So I will just do them all in one swoop here. Tara: [45:36] Sure. Dave: [45:36] First one. Uh-oh. Tara: [45:46] My eyes, the goggles do nothing. Dave: [45:48] Number one is the acid as used in the Radioactive Man movie that the goggles do not protect against. Number two. Tara: [46:00] Abortions for all. Very well. No abortions. Dave: [46:12] Abortions for some. Miniature American flags for others. Take your pick, Kang and or Kodos for number two, great green thing from The Simpsons. And of course, number three, my all-time fave. I can't believe. Tara: [46:28] We've overlooked this week's winner for so very, very long. We simply could not function without his tireless efforts. So, a round of applause for... This inanimate carbon rod. Dave: [46:43] The inanimate carbon rod, the genesis of my infatuation with inanimate characters on television. Yes, the rod is a character. Tara: [46:51] I'll show you, inanimate. Dave: [46:53] All right, who's next? Tara: [46:54] Sarah. Sarah: [46:56] Well, Great is doing a lot of elastic lifting here. This is mostly memorable to me and trying not to duplicate other people's picks. So let us begin with Aku from Samurai Jack, but specifically Season 1, Episode 6. Generally, Aku is mostly fluttery and black with white, green, and red elements. But in Episode 6, he presents as a shape-shifted warrior lady named Ikra, who pretends to be Jack's co-conspirator for most of the episode before revealing Aku's true self. Ikra is also dressed in black with black hair, but her skin is green. and that is one of my favorite episodes of the show. The soundtrack is really good. I always forget until like halfway through like, oh yeah, she's a bad guy. So yeah, that was one of my first thoughts and seemed like probably nobody else would pick it. So Mrs. Aku from episode six of Samurai Jack. Tara. Tara: [47:54] My first great green thing is Michigan J-Frog. Not only an icon from the Looney Tunes short that he starred in, but also so important in our culture that he ended up being the spokesperson for the WWWB for a time. Sarah: [48:11] RIP the WB. Tara: [48:12] We would see him doing his thing in promos, whether it pertained or not. And it often didn't as the channel, you know, skewed more and more towards teen angst. But still, I don't use the term icon loosely, and I do think it applies to Michigan J-Frog. So that is my first great green thing. Back to Dave. How to have some breakfast. that I need... Curses. I must immediately purchase some eggs, for I need to have breakfast. And without the eggs, I cannot have the breakfast that I so require! Dave: [48:58] He's walking down his giant staircase. Sarah: [49:05] I have forgotten my wallet! CURSES! Dave: [49:10] That is Mojo Jojo from the Powerpuff Girls. He is a green villain monkey, and he is the best part of that show by far. Sarah: [49:18] I forgot he was green. Good call. Dave: [49:21] Back to Sarah. Sarah: [49:22] All right, well, speaking of Kim Reid, my second one is Matt Simon's revolting green velour shirt in real-world Hawaii. He is wearing it in literally all the promo materials. It is memorialized in Kaya's absolute peak Crijo poem, Blue. Again, great. I'm choosing to interpret that as memorable or legendary and not necessarily, you know, good. So it's both of the first two things and also terrible. Matt Simon wherever you are I hope that shirt has long since been burned or sent to the Smithsonian or Fort Knox somewhere safe mm-hmm And that's my second one. Tara. Tara: [50:08] My second great green thing is the big cube of cash that Huel and Kubi roll around on in Breaking Bad. Even if you've never watched the show, you've seen that on the internet because it's adorable. The face on Huel. I mean, look it up. It's very cute. If you are confronted with a huge pile of cash, you know, what else are you going to do? They were going to do a little physical comedy on it. So, you know, that show was dark a lot of the time, but it was also really funny. And that was a very funny moment to me. Dave. Dave: [50:44] Well, before I get to my last pick, I do have a worse green thing. And that is this Flintstones, the great kazoo. Tara: [50:50] Oh, yeah. Sarah: [50:51] Terrible character. Really bad. More like the merely good kazoo. Tara: [50:57] Nice. Dave: [50:58] My last pick is, we all worked at 30 Rock over the course of a year. So we were subject to one of NBC Universal's Earth Day measures, not celebration, where they would like dim the lights and, you know, rotate the power of this and that. And, you know, don't print on this paper, print on this like shitty, like thrice recycled paper. Sarah: [51:23] Empanada shell. Dave: [51:24] For one day. And then the next day it's like, all right, electricity at 200%. Let's get like that one tree per page paper we all love. Let's go. Tara: [51:34] Yeah. Aren't you General Electric? Don't you make like fucking nuclear reactors and stuff? Like, shut up. Stop lecturing us. Dave: [51:43] So we had to do all these things and like, you know, participate whether we wanted to or not in this Green Day Earth Day bullshit at NBCUniversal. So this is Greenzo from 30 Rock, the personification of that program. And now I finally have my platform, so let's have a little less yappity-yap and a little more clackity-clack. Okay. That, of course, is David Schwimmer. He's back. He's Greenzo. Very annoying character, but kind of encapsulates everything about that. We never see him again. He's only there for one day, and he's gone because it's Greenzo. Nobody really gives a shit. Tara: [52:55] Yep. Dave: [52:56] All right. Sarah. Sarah: [52:57] Okay, well, there was a television movie called Capture of the Green River Killer, based on a book by a guy named Dave Reichert. He was then a detective on the case, and then he became a sort of Jesus-y congressman from Washington State, retired a few years ago. He is played by Tom fucking Kavanaugh in this movie, which is crazy enough. But then The capture of the Green River Killer, IRL, involved a lot of the investigation team interviewing other serial killers to try to get a composite profile of this guy, including Ted Bundy. And Ted Bundy is played in this film by James Marsters. That's right. Tara: [53:45] Whoa. Sarah: [53:46] Spike from Buffy. What? So this was going to be like, I don't even know how this would qualify as great. Great ideas that actually turned into complete camp classics. But Variety said that it was one of the 10 best programs of 2008, which I was there a strike in 2008 because that would explain a lot. Anyway, yeah, there was to check this out. and review it for best evidence. But wow, like there's just so much ancillary information just on the IMDb page. And it was, I had a pretty great time reading about it and just trying to imagine Spike and his bleach blonde hair playing Ted Bundy. I'm sure that's not how they did it, but it was a great time imagining that. And that's where I'm going to leave you. I do have some backups though, if we get to them, but for now, Tara. Tara: [54:38] Yeah, I got backups too. We are about to get a new Alan Partridge show. It is called And Did Those Feet with Alan Partridge. It has been filming. It's coming at some point in 2025. But the last one before that was called This Time with Alan Partridge. He was the host of a TV morning show. And there was an episode where one of the segments was about him trying to be vegetarian for a week. And it doesn't go well. And it ends with a shot of Alan taking the whole crisper drawer from his fridge and dumping it into his garbage bin outside. And I made a gif of it every Friday for probably two years. I would tweet me every Friday after my last salad of the week. And therefore, the vegetables from that gif slash episode are my third important great TV thing that is great. Sarah: [55:33] Immortal. Tara: [55:35] Sarah, give us your runners-up, and then I'll do mine. Sarah: [55:38] Mine were all like, someone surely will take these or their two-first thoughty. Starting with Rachel Green, obviously. Did not want to step on tarotos. Curb at the Frog. Seemed a little too obvious. But then Mr. Green Jeans from Captain Kangaroo. Tara: [55:54] I didn't think of Rachel Green as a person. That's good. I thought of her green dress from The One Where No One's Ready, when it ends in her saying I'm going Commando 2. I didn't have Kermit the Frog. I had Robin the Frog before baby Kermit on Muppet Babies. There was Robin who is so cute. Sarah: [56:13] So cute. Tara: [56:14] Lots about Holy Moly. Obviously the greens around the holes, the green sponge cubes you fall into when you go flying off the pecker. And of course the green plaid jacket that the winner gets when they are victorious. And finally, from the Roseanne episode, A Stash from the Past, the weed that gets found at random. Jackie and Roseanne and Dan all smoke it, and Jackie kind of freaks out. They don't realize she's there until she speaks up to them from the bathtub and then says, Is this the sink? Am I shrinking? Because she's too high off this old, old weed. So those are mine. Dave: [56:54] Just based on your holy moly, I will add one to the mix, which is the red green from Taskmaster Season 2, Episode 1, Fear of Failure, which is a classic moment in Taskmaster history. And it's in the canon if you want to listen to our feedback on that one. Tara: [57:10] Sure is. Oh. Dave: [57:12] And that is it for another episode of Extra, Extra Hot Great. Our little secret is that we think our little secret was boring as fuck, except for Sarah D. Bunting, and I'm quoting her here. That was the best thing I've ever seen. Before answering your burning Ask EASG questions like, what's your fave Thanksgiving dessert and what terrible podcast tie-in products are we looking to make? We said okay to Tara's aligned reading tiny canon pitch for friends, celebrated those who weren't quite the best and worst of the week. Kim took us on a Thanksgiving cruise in a love boat, and we wrapped it all up with a look at the best green things on television. Next up is the 2024 Guest Thought Experiments episode on Extra Hot Grape Prime. Remember, We're listening. I am David T. Cole, and on behalf of Tara Ariano, Ribbit, and Sarah D. Sarah: [58:10] Bunting, Oh, Blue, it is you. Dave: [58:13] Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time right here on Extra, Extra, Pockerite. . . . Sarah: [58:31] Was not what I was expecting. Yeah, I know. I can assure you it's not what any of us were expecting. That's right. Tara: [58:37] It was better. Sarah: [58:45] This is.