Zabka-lutely

Clip: [0:00:00] And she told me, Hey, you're one of the few people in the world who truly gets the Karate Kid movie. So when she asked if I'd help, Well, my answer just had to be. Clip: [0:00:15] Thanks! William Zabka! Dave: [0:00:33] Episode 229, "Zabka-lutely!". I am Listminder David T. Cole, and I'm here with Dateline Spoof Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah: [0:00:47] Yesssss. Pfft. Tara: [0:00:52] Oh, man. Hello, Patreons. Welcome to the special Tuesday bonus month hangover. There were only four Fridays, so now there's this extra one in the middle of the week. Dave: [0:01:13] That sounded like a threat. Okay. Sarah: [0:01:16] Get yourselves correct. Tara: [0:01:18] Well, Dave: [0:01:19] Get right with God, here's the bonus episode. Tara: [0:01:21] One person that does not have to get right with God or anyone else is Millsnack because on the Discord, they proposed this topic which we are discussing today, which is as follows. With the announcement that Cobra Kai is ending after this next season, the important question is what's next for William Billy Zabka? Tara: [0:01:40] Millsnack suggests that we wait and see. Put Zabka in a current show or create one for him. The best thing about watching William Zabka and Cobra Kai other than that the show knows there is a way of reading the Karate Kid movies where Daniel is the villain, is that Zabka has no vanity and no illusions about his position in pop culture. Tara: [0:01:58] Would love to keep rolling with that self-awareness, put him in a comedy that isn't going to put his back and knees at any kind of a risk, which Cobra Kai arguably probably does. We're gonna give him a recurring role as Jacob's father on Abbott Elementary. I checked. Their ages do check out. He is 57. Tara: [0:02:15] He's a good looking 57, by the way. Chris Sarah: [0:02:17] Mm hmm. Tara: [0:02:17] Jacob, 34. I think the obvious thing to do and what would be expected is to make Zabka's character uncomfortable that Jacob is gay and Abbott Elementary is better than that, plus we already have one disapproving dad on the show, the Orlando Jones character who plays Gregory's dad. Tara: [0:02:33] So instead, the conflict between Jacob and his father, let's call him Jim, is that Jacob had a girlfriend in high school before he came out. Let's call her Alyssa and say that she is played by Alia Shaqat. And when Jacob moved away, Alyssa stayed in touch with Jim, and since he was a widower, Alyssa and Jim got married, and uh oh, now Jacob's ex is pregnant with his brother. Tara: [0:02:54] Whoops! So, Sarah: [0:02:55] Wow. Tara: [0:02:57] I think that's a way to go with him. And, or, 911 Lone Star is not a comedy, but in a sense, isn't it? Uh, so my conception of how to work him in is Owen, the Rob Lowe character, is gonna need a new bro. Now that his Highway Patrol buddy played by Neil McDonough is a Nazi, you hate to see it. So Owen's new pal is Zabka, playing Steve, another transplanted New Yorker. Tara: [0:03:20] In the way of the show, they have to be enemies first, so they both hit on the same lady at a bar, and Owen is upset when she decides to leave with Steve, but then a few days later, Owen's checking out Austin's hottest new plant-based restaurant and finds out the owner is Steve and now they're friends forever. Tara: [0:03:35] Hail Satan. Sarah. Sarah: [0:03:40] Oh, they said it was an impossible burger, but now it's all coming true. Okay, my idea is one of those ideas that like, it's probably not perfect, but once you think of it, you can't unthink of it and you can't think of anything else. So here we go. Only Murders in the Building started as a semi satire of true crime podcasts with a wide streak of actors, am I right, in it as well, although really it's a snarky love note to New York, but for our purposes, let's focus on the true crime parody part. Sarah: [0:04:10] In the second season, the show sort of expanded on the same ideas as in the first, but, and then in the finale, the show teased a third season case slash big bad set in the theater. Perfect, great, no notes, can't wait to see what they do with it. But a prospective fourth season of Only Murders can step into the tabloid news magazine medium of true crime with a serialized, so to speak, story about the beloved host of a legendary OG true crime show called Timestamp, to do a two-hour special on the Only Murders gang. Sarah: [0:04:45] But it soon becomes clear that the host, Leif Harrison, that's William Zabka, has much closer ties to the crime stories he covers, like Murder, She Wrote, Close, than he's letting on. Can our heroes figure out his deal before they become ratings driver subjects slash victims themselves and then three question marks? Sarah: [0:05:05] I think they probably can, unless Steve Martin wants to. To get killed off because he says this is like last acting job. I don't know what's going to happen, but I feel like Zabka is one of those. Um, like, like you said, gets his place in the pop culture. I think if they ever do another season of American Vandal, he would be perfect as some school principal. Tara: [0:05:27] Yes. Sarah: [0:05:27] So yeah, I'd like to see him get into the true crime parody space. Somehow I think he could make a nice living there and it's very easy on the back of knees. Tiff. Dave: [0:05:38] Alright, I got a few guest appearances before I put him in a show that he headlines. Basically building off his, you know, Cobra Kai vibe, I'm gonna put him as Wednesday Adams gym teacher in Wednesday. And he is a character that really doesn't understand anything that's going on in the school. Like, the school should be normal, but it's not, and he doesn't quite understand how or why, and he's just frustrated by the whole thing. Dave: [0:06:00] He is the replacement hitman chasing after Charlie on Poker Face. But he doesn't use guns, that's his thing. He is, thanks to deepfakes, and oh my god, I wish I knew somebody who did deepfakes. I totally want this to be something that we could put out in the world. He is every. Every. Zombie mushroom zombie on the last of us. you imagine that big fight scene in the last episode, as of this taping, you know, where they come up from the underground, all of them are fucking Billy Zabka's running around, not mushroom eyes. There's now Billy Zabka's from Cobra Kai running around and, and, and biting people and, and, and running at people and stuff. Dave: [0:06:42] Perfect. Great. Uh, here's my actual pitch. This is something I genuinely think could work. Plays into his strengths that we've seen on Cobra Kai while giving him something new to do. He is Earl in a remake of My Name is Earl. So he is that sort of guy who did some stupid shit back when, and now he's making amends for it, but he's sort of clumsy about it. Dave: [0:07:05] Uh, we get to see everybody he's interacted with in the past. So, you know, his old life comes back to him and it's bubbled up through going through the list of things he has to do to, to make amends to everybody. Tara: [0:07:17] Totally. Yep. Dave: [0:07:18] So I think, uh, My Name is Earl is the show for him. Tara: [0:07:22] Gorgeous.