Tearing Down Totally '90s House

Clip 00:00 It's really fun to walk into a room and go, "Oh boy, we really did it in the 90s." Yeah, now let's undo that. Let's make it better. Dave 00:16 This is the Extra Extra Hot Great Podcast, episode 426 for the August 29th, 2026 weekend. I am proud parent of minimum of three children, David T. Cole, and I'm here with herpetologist by trade, Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah 00:36 No, that's literally what he said. Dave 00:38 And not just a pretty face from the '90s, Tara Arreno. Tara 00:40 The last analog co-host. Welcome to Extra Extra Hot Great, the podcast made possible by your pledges. Thank you so much for being here. delighted to have you for our discussion of Totally 90s House. Some homes in this country were built and decorated in the 1990s, and some of the people who live in them have not updated anything since then, perhaps because they've been hoping an HGTV show would come along and do it for them. Two families were right, but they might not have guessed that their renovation would be done by people who were child and teen stars during the decade in question. What will these not-quite-amateurs do with their $150,000 budgets? HGTV is hoping you will watch them transform their selected homes one room at a time and see which team emerges victorious. Jaleel "Steve Urkel" White hosts. Various HGTV personalities will be coming through to judge, not that we see them in the first episode, which is all that has aired on August 26th and all that we had access to. Let's do the Chen check-in. Sarah, should our listeners watch Totally 90s House? Sarah 01:57 This has more to recommend it than a lot of this ilk but I still gonna say no. Tara 02:04 Dave. Clip 02:06 [burp] Tara 02:07 [laughs] I agree with Dave. Let's get into it. Dave Jalil's narration makes a lot of confident claims about what 90s home design is or is not, and home design is not your specialty as a designer, but of the various dated choices that we see in the semi-finalist houses, the team's tour, which of them would you say are really nineties problems and which are holdovers from the eighties? Like for example, to me, glass brick is eighties. Dave 02:33 Yeah, there was way too much things about this show that were 80s that made it past the editors, which I assume are, you know, 20 somethings. Tara 02:42 Uh-huh. Sarah 02:42 Mhm. Dave 02:44 The title perhaps totally 90s house is actually Tara 02:45 Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Dave 02:49 totally 80s phrase, 90s house. Tara 02:50 Yes. Dave 02:50 I guess totally tubular is one of the first things somebody says in the episode Sarah 02:53 Thank you. Tara 02:55 Yeah. Dave 02:55 itself, Sarah 02:56 Followed by rad and gnarly, not 90s. Tara 02:59 Mm-hmm. Dave 03:00 all surfer California things. So right from the get go, I just know that nobody knows what they're doing on this show. And yeah, a lot of it is stuck in the eighties. My parents redid their kitchen in the late nineties, I think. And there's a lot of things about that kitchen that I see here in dribs and drabs, mostly the choice of wood finishes or the choice of wood itself in the Tara 03:23 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Sarah 03:25 Mm-hmm. Dave 03:26 dining room tables and the trim and stuff like that. And that was the thing that really popped out to me Tara 03:30 Yeah. Dave 03:32 is the stains of the wood that, what do they call it? There's a pickled oak. Sarah 03:38 Pickled? Tara 03:38 Pickled is... is it? Dave 03:41 Yeah. Tara 03:41 Yes. Sarah 03:41 I've never heard that before. Tara 03:42 Me neither. Dave 03:42 Never heard about it before, but it's like a sickly white. Sarah 03:43 (laughs) Tara 03:45 Mm-hmm. Dave 03:45 And that was like, okay, that's it. It's not what my parents had. My parents had just like a too light stain on some shitty pine kind of table, right? Tara 03:53 Mm-hmm. Dave 03:54 You know, the tables that were the edges all have like 10,000 bumps, you know, Tara 03:58 [laughs] Dave 03:59 some guys like I gotta get I gotta use this lathe I gotta figure out what to use this lathe for so there's a lot of that so some of it seemed like it was Tara 04:04 Yeah. Sarah 04:04 (laughs) Dave 04:07 trapped in the 90s certainly there were kitchens that were sort of Euro tinge that seem more like the early 90s transitioning out of the 80s there is Tara 04:16 Mm-hmm. Dave 04:16 one with like pink lacquer wall and all the appliances had that on it too that Sarah 04:18 Hmm. Dave 04:21 was like okay that's like almost craft work if it wasn't pink if it was red Tara 04:23 Yeah, yes. Dave 04:25 They should have figured out that it was 80s and 90s house, not just 90s house, but Sarah 04:25 Yeah. Tara 04:29 Mm-hmm. Yeah. Dave 04:31 you know that doesn't fit the celebrity roster. Tara 04:34 Yeah. Sarah 04:34 The terminology from the 80s was an immediate problem. And a lot of this was serving not necessarily 80s or 90s, but just like in our previous home, we lived next door to the previous owner. It had been a multi-tenant house and anything that he needed to fix, he would buy the cheapest of whatever was in the builder grade aisle to the point where we could go Tara 05:01 Mm-hmm Sarah 05:03 to Home Depot to replace whatever he had put in wrong and be like, "Oh, the cheapest one? That's the one we already have. Let's keep going down the aisle." And it was a lot of that. It was a lot of what my grandmother would have called gavon. It's supposed to look expensive, but it's really a placeholder until you can afford something nicer, like Tara 05:24 Yeah Sarah 05:24 that gold-tipped front door that's supposed to suggest stained glass, but just looks cheap. Tara 05:31 Yeah. Sarah 05:31 and it's that like caramel pressed wood with the mail flap in it. Dave 05:31 Mm-hmm. Tara 05:34 Mm-hmm. Sarah 05:36 Like a lot of it wasn't of any era. It was just like when you build a 10,000 square foot house, you don't necessarily have a ton left over to make the points look nice, to make the crown molding. Tara 05:47 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Sarah 05:50 You just get whatever is cheap because you need a mile of it. Tara 05:53 Yeah. Sarah 05:54 So there was that problem. Some of the stuff did read 90s to me, like my parents' 90s Renault, like hunter green Tara 06:02 Oh, yeah. Sarah 06:03 in high traffic areas, wall to wall. Tara 06:05 Mm-hmm. Sarah 06:06 That looked familiar. Wood that was supposed to look only stained but wound up just looking cheap as a result. Tara 06:14 Some of the features I did not think were that bad. I thought the red lacquer kitchen in the LA house was kind of cool. I think it's supposed to be more, they kept saying red. Sarah 06:21 Yeah. Tara 06:23 I think the version that we got, the screener was like not color graded. So it looked a lot lighter. Sarah 06:27 Yeah. Yeah. Tara 06:28 It was more a coral, but regardless. Dave 06:29 Yeah, that's true. It was the raw video for sure. Tara 06:32 Yeah, yeah. Sarah 06:33 That read 70s sci-fi to me. Tara 06:36 Yeah, yes. Sarah 06:36 I'm not gonna lie. Tara 06:37 Or, you know, 50s diner, perhaps. But anyway, I don't know what's so wrong with a big jacuzzi tub, you know, when they show all three teammates can fit in it. I don't know why that's not a plus. But some of the homeowners issues I would say have nothing to do with the dated decor. Like the very first house we see where they were like, we built this house in 1991. It's entirely to our specs. And we just never painted the builders drywall. It's like you've been living here for 35 years. You never painted the walls. That is psycho. Sarah 07:04 Yeah Dave 07:08 Is that the guy? Sarah 07:08 Mm-hmm Dave 07:09 Is that the couple that didn't do that to put their kids through college and the guy Tara 07:13 Yes. Yes, yes, he's real loud. Dave 07:13 is like super loud? He's doing an interview and he's talking like "We just filmed it!" Sarah 07:15 Yeah Dave 07:19 Can you believe this house? (laughs) Sarah 07:20 You Tara 07:21 That's one of the houses that gets picked and when they come in, they're like, okay, well, what in here is very important to you to preserve? And they're like, well, these two pieces of art and they point up, they have these two pieces facing each other in the foyer, They're hung like 40 feet up off the ground. Like, okay, are they this high? 'Cause you didn't want any fingerprints on them because this is not how you hang art. Anyway, considering how long the premiere was, I felt insulted there was any suspense around whether the houses that the teams pick would be the ones in New Jersey and Long Island, Sarah 07:51 to Tara 07:52 which are in the same tri-state area as what we're told is 90s house, home base. Like, yeah, obviously. Sarah 07:58 Mm hmm. I was gratified that Massapequa and South Jersey were both were both represented. Tara 07:58 St. Louis and LA, not really part of the conversation. Sarah 08:08 And this is what you're going to get like the sort of worst of the 90s. But there's also the fact that like any decade, the 90s is really stylistically two different decades. Tara 08:20 Right. Sarah 08:21 you have all that like teal, lavender, mint decor from the first half of the decade and Dave 08:24 Yeah. Tara 08:27 Mm-hmm. Sarah 08:28 the like what they called the coffee cup colorway. And then yeah, the end of the decade is something Tara 08:30 Yeah, which it's not. Sarah 08:34 much much different I would say but. Dave 08:37 Well, I would say there's actually three because the early 90s are 80s tinged, or at Sarah 08:41 Mm hmm. Tara 08:41 Right. Dave 08:42 least I would add the 80s to your 90s description, put it that way, like chintz. Tara 08:46 Mm-hmm. Sarah 08:47 Mm hmm. Dave 08:48 Nobody in the 90s wanted chintz, but it was there. Tara 08:50 It was still around, yeah. Yes, and then, you know, closing out, we get the clear plastic of the post-iMac era of the 90s. Sarah 08:51 Yep. Dave 08:51 Yeah. Sarah 08:58 Oh, God, yeah. Tara 09:00 Where it's like, "We're doing everything in this, including George Foreman grills for some reason." Anyway. Sarah 09:04 (laughs) Tara 09:06 Other than the casting washed up 90s TV stars, we will get to them in just a second. The gimmick of this show is the teams are not allowed to use any tech that postdates the 90s, which we are told multiple times was the last analog decade. Given that the teams are working with a cable TV productions worth of staff and support, this feels like it's probably going to be a non-issue. Like there's, you know, maybe going to be a couple times where they're like, "Well, just look it up in your phone." "Oh no, I can't!" Dave 09:32 Yeah, I don't think we needed to add Pioneer House DNA to Totally 90s House. Tara 09:36 Right? Sarah 09:37 Yeah. Dave 09:38 I don't think we're that far back in time, guys. Sarah 09:39 Yeah. Tara 09:39 No. they've all been told to play it up so much to where like at one point, Brian Austin Green picks up the landline in the house and Beverly Mitchell is like, is that a phone? It's like you're from the 90s. You know it is. Give me a break. Seriously. All right, so let's talk about Dave 09:50 Yeah. Sarah 09:52 Yeah. Dave 09:53 Yeah, don't worry about it. Nobody under the age of 40 is watching this show. You don't have to play to a younger audience. Sarah 09:58 Mm-hmm. *awkward silence* Tara 10:01 the casting team move or move as the Chiron spells it at least twice that I saw MUAVE. Sarah 10:06 *laughter* aww, yeah Tara 10:09 That team is Brian Austin Green, of course, from Beverly Hills 90210, Beverly Mitchell from 7th Sarah 10:10 Yeah. Tara 10:14 Heaven and Jodi Sweetin from Full House. And I really thought Brian Austin Green was playing into what Jenny and Tori have constantly told us on 90210MG is like his amazing sense of humor, where he's just like cracking jokes that aren't really jokes, just constantly doing the most to make sure he gets screen time with his inane little comments. Anyway, I know, Sarah, you're also not a fan. Yes he is. What did you think of Brian Austin Green here as opposed to the Dave 10:37 Billy Madison it up. Sarah 10:40 (laughs) Tara 10:44 last time we watched him in the contemporary times which was on the special forces show where he did not have any of his breast implants explode on camera. That we know of. Sarah 10:52 That we know of. I thought that he was fine. He is definitely someone who has been told that he's funny when he- by unfunny people and that's what's happening. Tara 11:00 Yes. Yes. Sarah 11:04 He in particular but this was generally true like i think that get to know you segments are like here's what they're up to now. Tara 11:12 Mm-hmm. Sarah 11:13 For everyone except Matthew Lawrence who like i heard the phrase reptile enclosure was like okay that took. Tara 11:16 [laughs] I know. [laughs] Yeah. Sarah 11:22 Oh boy but i mean it's like my biggest job is being a dad i was like oh should we pull your kids. Tara 11:30 [snorts] Sarah 11:30 On weather they think that's actually the most important job to you but that just kept coming up like you know my best role is been a mom we get it fine. Tara 11:38 Mommy! "Me." Yep. Mm-hmm Oh Mama Dave 11:47 [laughs] Go back to the forest. Sarah 11:49 Yeah. Congrats but it's also like some of them have much more sort of pertinent experience at least as like spawn con or slapping their names on stuff even if that's the extent of it. Tara 12:02 Mm-hmm yeah Sarah 12:05 Then others so i kinda feel like these teams were stacked or one of them was like Matthew Lawrence actually knows how to wield a tool probably. Tara 12:11 Hmm Mm-hmm Sarah 12:17 Not a euphemism, they were all basically fine. Tara 12:21 Yeah Sarah 12:22 I just felt like nobody is watching this like Dave said, nobody is watching this who doesn't know who these people are or were. Tara 12:28 Mm-hmm yeah Sarah 12:29 So shorten that shit up. Like if you're gonna do this competition style, get to it. Tara 12:33 Mm-hmm Dave 12:34 Uh, that's not technically true, 'cause I didn't know who most of these people were. Tara 12:39 (laughs) Dave 12:40 I knew Brian Austin Green. Tara 12:41 Yeah. Dave 12:41 Who are the other ones again? Tara 12:43 Jodi Sweetin from Full House. Dave 12:43 No, no, no. Tara 12:45 Beverly Mitchell from Seventh Heaven. Yeah, you would never know who she was. Keisha Knight Pulliam from The Cosby Show. You knew... Yeah, you didn't recognize Rudy? Dave 12:52 I never really watched the show. So all right. Tara 12:54 Okay. Melissa Joan Hart. Dave 12:56 I know the name. Tara 12:57 And she's from Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. Dave 12:59 Okay. Tara 13:00 And finally, Matthew Lawrence, and not to be a bitch, but any Lawrence who isn't Joey, is the Lawrence that you settle for. Dave 13:06 Yeah, I thought I knew Lawrence and I thought is Joey not his real name and he's that guy Tara 13:11 [laughs] Dave 13:11 or it's like, Oh no, I don't go by Joey anymore, but this is a different person. Tara 13:15 Yeah, no, it's... Dave 13:16 - The SOALA knew one. Sarah 13:17 Whoa! Tara 13:17 Well, that's remarkable. Dave 13:18 And probably only because of your podcast. Tara 13:20 True. Yeah. Matthew also isn't a Lawrence. I think Lawrence is like Joey's middle name. Dave 13:21 - Yeah. Oh. Tara 13:27 And then when the other two brothers came in, they're like, "We're Lawrence's too, shifty eyes." Sarah 13:31 *Chuckle* Dave 13:31 - Right. Tara 13:31 But yeah, he's like, "I'm probably best known for brotherly love." Like, no, you're not. No one knows what that is. You're known as being Joey Lawrence's brother or as being Sarah 13:35 No. Tara 13:41 Chili's boyfriend because everyone's paying attention to whether she's a Republican now. Anyway, no, like the lady from TLC. The other thing, when Sarah says these people have been Dave 13:45 like the restaurant. Tara 13:52 chosen for various reasons, Spahn or, you know, like Melissa Joan Hart says she's a real estate investor or this and that. It does seem like they all had some kind of reno experience, even if it was only doing their own houses. And I realized at the end of the last Get to Know You segment, it's like, oh, okay, all of them are hoping if they do really well here, they can turn this into an HGTV show of their own for like the 12th act of their careers. Sarah 14:19 Right. Tara 14:20 And some of them are more credible than others. Like when Brian Austin Green is like, "Really love to do music and I don't have time to do that anymore, so now I do home renovations." Like, what are you talking about? (laughs) Dave 14:29 How's that not a lateral move? Tara 14:31 Exactly! I don't, I don't know. Dave 14:34 I feel like it would be even worse because if you start a reno you have to finish it Tara 14:38 You do, mm-hmm. Dave 14:38 in theory, whereas music you can just leave it be. Tara 14:41 You can just fart around with it forever, yeah. Dave 14:43 it out. Tara 14:44 Based on the evidence of the premiere, which of these teams would you trust with your home and a $150,000 budget? and you can't say neither, Sarah. Sarah 14:54 Team whatever Matthew herpetologist Lawrence is on. Tara 14:58 Uh-huh. Sarah 14:59 I think he's on the same team with Polium and Melissa Joan Hart, right? Tara 15:03 Yes, mm-hmm. Sarah 15:04 Those two ladies seem more business-like and less interested in getting along with their teammates. Not that they're not interested, but just that they'll be like, "Okay, I lost this argument about what kind of fixtures we're putting in the sink. Let's just fucking move on." Tara 15:21 Yeah, yeah. Sarah 15:23 He I think actually knows how to build stuff. I don't know how to make a reptile enclosure. I'd rather have that guy. Let's enclose some reptiles. Dave 15:33 Oh, I mean, flip a coin. I mean, I guess these homeowners are forbidden to be in the house and have any direction, Tara 15:39 Yes. Dave 15:40 right? It's one of those shows. If I could, I would just say, here's how I want you to spend most of the money on new things. Tara 15:46 Yeah. Dave 15:47 And then you can do all the painting and accoutrements that could be easily undone. Sarah 15:53 Yeah. Dave 15:53 But if that's not an option, who gives a shit? Tara 15:53 (laughs) [laughs] Sarah 15:55 Get a French drain installed and leave the rest of the money in stacks of cash on the breakfast bar. Goodbye. Yeah. Dave 16:01 These people don't have great taste. Tara 16:03 Yes. Dave 16:04 Or at least don't have my taste. Tara 16:05 Mm-hmm. Dave 16:06 I feel like they are maximalists because more is better for the camera. Tara 16:12 Mm-hmm. Dave 16:12 And I don't want that. Tara 16:13 Yeah, I mean, the team that's not Brian Austin Green is who I have to go through with as well. Same as Sarah. I just don't want him in my house. Sarah 16:21 Yeah, this is the thing about owning your home, and then watching an HDTV show that's like, Is it sort of I mean, not compelling, but whatever. The reason that you tune in is for the cosmetic stuff like, well, Tara 16:32 Yeah. video. Sarah 16:34 we're updating this paint color. This is bad for the flow. What if we turned these checkerboards? Whatever. 45 degrees like who cares? But that is so far down on the list for most homeowners who are just eating beans from a can so they can do a roof rip. But that's not good TV. So like you won't share my aesthetic, but that's what the show is about. Unfortunately, this is why I don't watch HGTV shows. And I'm just like, you're just gonna have to just gonna have to rip that out because you're gonna have a water intrusion problem in six months. I'm the wonder killer in this in this segment, I guess. Dave 17:18 It's never going to be renovated or replaced. Tara 17:20 [laughter] Dave 17:21 It's the theme to Ask EHG. The public won't stand for it. Sarah 17:26 Aesthetics, baby! Dave 17:39 All right. It is time for Ask EHG.first, we must deal with last week's Ask Ask EHG,where we asked you a question to answer. it came from me and I just wanted to know what are your pointless claims to fame? Pointless claims to fame. Here are some of our answers. Really good batch. There were so many I just threw out all the ones where it was "I met this Tara 18:00 Right. Dave 18:00 celebrity" because I was more like "here is my footnote in my Wikipedia page" sort of answers I was looking for. Steel Meal Eric. I created the first website on the internet about George Clinton and the Parliament Funkadelic. It features the text, I went there, it's on the internet archive, features the text "more than enough info to start getting funked up" Sarah 18:24 to Tara 18:25 [laughter] Sarah 18:26 (laughing) Tara 18:27 Mm-hmm. Dave 18:27 so that was pretty great. Erica, my brother-in-law, is the creator of the Oh Snap flow chart. Tara 18:33 Mm-hmm. Dave 18:34 If you don't know what that is just Google Oh Snap flow chart, it's pretty good. Dr. Calhoun, I was once acknowledged as a Doctor Who fan by a podcast. True. Big Time Tomato, I almost killed Oprah. No follow-up. That's why I'm adding it here. Tara 18:47 [LAUGHS] Sarah 18:47 *laughter* Dave 18:49 Nobody asked. She didn't offer. Tara 18:51 [LAUGHS] Dave 18:53 Two winners today. First one comes from Diana Joy. I'm thanked in the acknowledgments of the book, Health Communism. Again, no follow-up. Tara 18:59 Oh, cool. Sarah 19:01 Yeah, thank God Dave 19:03 And our other winner and my favorite comes from Monty. I was once the top result on Google for "how to make deviled eggs." Tara 19:08 Yes. Dave 19:13 That's the kind of micro fame I was looking for. So congratulations Diana and Monty. Hit me up DMs on Discord to get me your mailing address and I'll send you out your stickers. All right, ready for our questions this week? Sarah 19:25 Yeah Dave 19:26 First one comes from Anne with an E. If Reacher were to give the three of you matching nicknames like he does on the show with Snap, Crackle, and Pop, what would he pick, Tara? Tara 19:35 He would go Janet, Jack, and Chrissy. Three company names. Sarah. Sarah 19:41 Tinkered Evers to Chance. Two listeners got that reference. Neither of you thinks it works. That's my bet. Dave 19:48 I got two sets. One is Sugar, Spice, and Everything. Tara 19:53 [Laughter] Dave 19:53 It made me laugh as soon as I wrote it. Sarah 19:54 [laughter] Dave 19:56 And the other one is Crosby, Stills, and Nash. Tara 19:58 Uh-huh. Sarah 19:58 Mmm. Dave 20:00 "Diatho, you're in the afterlife. Cthulhu sidles up to you and goes, 'Sarah, Tara, Dave.'" I like the cut of your jib. You get to go punch anyone in the face, dead or alive. Thanks, Cthulhu. Who do you pick? Diatho cannot explain why, but he has picked Henry Kissinger. I mean, that's a pretty good choice. Tara 20:15 I was gonna say I don't think you need to explain. Dave 20:17 Yeah. Sarah, free punch. Sarah 20:19 JK Rowling, not taking my big rings off, neither. Dave. Dave 20:21 Oh, yeah. Ted Mosby or Josh Radnor, Sarah 20:26 [laughter] Dave 20:26 whichever one is available to you in the moment. Tar. Tara 20:28 Debra Messing. Sarah 20:30 but Dave 20:30 Oh, sure. Did you have to really choose between her and Julie Bowen? where you're like, mm, you're like kissing your knuckles. Tara 20:35 No, as soon as I thought of Debra Messing. Clip 20:39 Bye bye. Tara 20:39 She's just a r- Dave 20:39 Which one are you gonna meet? Tara 20:42 Yeah, Julie Bowen has become easier to ignore. So she's- she's receded in my hate rankings. Dave 20:44 Okay. Yep. Here's one for me, comes from Damon. Sarah has raisins, Tara has salads. What does Dave have? Dave has olives. Not only do they taste bad, but they instantly, and I mean instantly, overtake all the flavors of whatever they are in. I've talked about bananas in the smoothie. You put a banana in a smoothie and you're like, "Oh yeah, that's banana." You put an olive in anything, you're five feet away from it and there's a big neon sign like the Beetlejuice thing where it says, "Olives, olives, olives." It's the blitzkrieg of food. Tara 21:19 [snorts] I really thought you were going to say coconut. Dave 21:21 I don't like coconut, but I feel like it's not as guns blazing as olives are. Tara 21:25 Hmm. Dave 21:27 I just fucking hate olives. Tara 21:27 Okay. Fair enough. Dave 21:29 Olive oil, fine, but olives as a food item, Tara 21:30 Mm-hmm. Dave 21:32 No thank you, ma'am. Kerfuffler, what is your favorite legume? Black bean, not even close. Tar. Tara 21:40 Peanut, Sarah. Sarah 21:41 Green pea. Dave 21:43 Yeah, that's a good one. Green peas are delicious in things. I don't think I could eat like a forkful of green peas, but you put them in rice or something, you're like, oh, it's a little texture ball. Sarah 21:53 Mm-hmm. Tara 21:53 Can't put 'em in chocolate and call 'em goobers, can you? Dave 21:56 No, you can't. Sarah 21:56 Have you tried, Tara? Tara 21:58 No, I guess I haven't. Dave 22:00 Call 'em poobers. (laughs) Sarah 22:03 Geez, all right. Dave 22:03 Is that better? Tara 22:04 Sure. Dave 22:04 Did I make it better? Meredith, is there a show that sounded tailor-made for you on paper, but in practice ended up not your thing? Tara 22:13 I had two for this. VH1 briefly had a scripted show called Hit the Floor that was about cheerleaders for, I want to say, a pro basketball team. And I wanted to like it and tried for a long time. was less TV back then. It never took. And the other is, um, I wish it was not. My other Dave 22:30 Was the theme to that, that song? ♪ Let the bodies hit the floor ♪ Okay. Tara 22:35 was a CW unscripted show called March about a marching band. And it was, believe it or Dave 22:39 Oh yeah. Sarah 22:40 Oh yeah. Tara 22:42 not, too boring even for me. I don't think they aired the whole season, if I recall correctly. Dave 22:44 Wow. Tara 22:48 Sarah. Sarah 22:49 Bookish had what should have been a deciding suite of buntnip elements. It was set in a bookstore, there was post-war London production design, Mark Gatiss is a likable lead just did not send me. I watched an episode and a half and decided it was too, too in love with itself the way later Sherlock's were. I don't, I don't know what my problem was with it, but, and I'm happy for it. It will continue for at least another series, but I am oot. Dave. Dave 23:19 Yeah, I couldn't get over the fact that his last name was or book or something. Tara 23:23 It's just book. Dave 23:25 Yeah. It was like, here's my profession. I was bought into it. Tara Ariano has a question. Tara, you want to ask it? Tara 23:31 Yeah, what's your boomerist opinion, Sarah? Sarah 23:34 A lot of my boomer opinions are actually like Victorian opinions. As I age I have accepted that most of them were gatekeeping and it is like who has time to keep giving a shit about like usage fascism. Dave 23:47 Only me! Tara 23:53 [laughing] What? Sarah 23:53 Huh? Dave 23:54 That's a very meta statement about gatekeeping. Tara 23:55 Oh! [laughing] Sarah 23:56 Yeah. Dave 23:56 Oh, come on. Tara 23:58 That's good. Sarah 24:00 So, yeah, early is on time and on time is late is still a way that I live. And there is one proper way to shake hands, namely mine. End of story. Tara. Tara 24:11 I had a few, obviously this is my question so I had answers in mind. One is, you really will feel better if you make your bed every day. Sarah 24:19 Mm-hmm. Dave 24:19 Wait, hang on. Tara 24:21 Yes. Dave 24:21 Is that a baby boomer thing? Make your bed every day. Tara 24:24 I don't know, is my dad a baby boomer? Dave 24:26 Yeah. Tara 24:27 There's a whole self-help book that's like, "Make your bed, bitch," or something like that. Dave 24:29 Okay. Sarah 24:30 Mm-hmm. Tara 24:31 We're just like, "Quit." You know? Dave 24:33 It's Monday, bitch. Tara 24:34 [laughs] Dave 24:35 Yeah. Tara 24:35 Speaking of beds, today's parents of young children do too much at their kid's bedtime to where you try to make plans with someone and they're like, "I can't. Dave 24:40 Yeah. Sarah 24:41 Mm-hmm. Tara 24:43 That's bedtime time." You're like, "Okay. Dave 24:45 It's three hours long. Tara 24:46 Right." It's a whole process. Dave 24:47 Yeah. Sarah 24:47 Yeah. That's what bungee cords are for. Tara 24:50 [laughs] Finally, when your child gets invited to a peer's birthday party, you as a parent shouldn't Dave 24:51 (laughing) Tara 24:57 have to attend if it's not a drop-off party don't do it that's impinging on too many people's time. Dave? Dave 25:04 Tipping for good service only. Tara 25:05 mmm Dave 25:08 Like, I'm sorry we live in a society where you can't make a living wage, so get to it. (laughing) Tara 25:14 *laughs* Dave 25:15 Spartan up. Don't give me the wrong order. Tara 25:19 people don't... Dave doesn't usually pay the bill it's me and I always tip so Sarah 25:19 to Geez. Dave 25:21 That's right. Tara 25:25 Don't worry, people are getting taken care of. Dave 25:27 Look, I'm not saying I don't tip, Tara 25:29 Mm-hmm. Dave 25:29 but if you're surly or you Fuck up and don't correct it, Tara 25:31 Mm. Make a mistake, yeah. Mm-hmm. Dave 25:36 then I will withhold the tip. That is my leverage in this situation. Tara 25:39 Sure. Dave 25:39 You want to be a sucker and just give tips left and right? You're training people to give you shady service. Tara 25:43 [laughs] Dave 25:44 Dance for me, monkeys. Sarah 25:45 You're also training people not to spit in your shit and be motivated to help you just saying. Tara 25:51 Mm. Dave 25:51 Again, if I have to tip not to have my coffee shit in, I will just deal with it by not going there. Milsnack, how will you be coping with the onset of pumpkin spice season? I am finally buying a firearm. Sarah. Sarah 26:06 First of all, I'd just like to go back and say I said spit, not shit. Dave 26:10 Oh, I know, but I'm just saying. Tara 26:10 Uh-huh. *laughs* Dave 26:13 or shit. Sarah 26:14 I will be shitting in Dave's pumpkin spice latte. Just kidding. Dave 26:17 Look, their falafel sandwich is delicious. If you get the guy that doesn't shit in it. Let's see who we get today. Pumpkin spice. Sarah 26:26 I don't mind pumpkin spice stuff. I also like making fun of its ubiquity, so I will be fine. This is a win-win season for me. It's here in Christmas Carols, October 10th, that I can't cope with. Yes, Dave. Dave 26:39 What is the bridge too far for pumpkin spice? "What if you saw a thing that was blank pumpkin spice?" Sarah 26:44 I feel like we had this question last year at this time and someone was like flavored Dave 26:48 Hmm. Sarah 26:49 lube and we all made faces and then we moved on. Would be like a candle burning at a wake that's pumpkin spice like I don't feel like those Dave 27:00 Sorry, what was that again? Sarah 27:01 should be a candle that's at a wake. Dave 27:03 Oh, okay, it's not what I heard. I just heard wake and something. I thought it had something to do with the cremation process that had pumpkin spice involved. like, "Hey, you know what?" Somebody would do it. Sarah 27:13 I mean, the deceased really loved pumpkin spice. Dave 27:16 This is his last wish. "Every time I smell pumpkin spice, I just think of Gladys." Sarah 27:24 [cough] Dave 27:25 Tara? Tara 27:25 I feel like the pumpkin spice discourse has turned into just that it's like a thing that the internet has made people mad about that they actually don't care about sort of along Dave 27:33 Yeah. Tara 27:34 the lines of like, ooh, we're all scared of clowns now like are you like who cares pumpkin spice doesn't bother me. Oh God. Yeah, we definitely are at the pumpkin spice stuff Dave 27:39 What if it was two together? Every time the clown pooped his nose, pumpkin spice mist came out of it. Sarah 27:44 *pumpkin dies* Dave 27:45 Like a little Glade air freshener. Sarah 27:46 *pumpkin dies* PUMPKIN WISE Tara 27:52 at the end cap phase of the season at H-E-B. A lot of things are being pumpkin spice and Dave 27:54 Yeah. Tara 27:57 eyes that shouldn't be, but I did buy H-E-B pumpkin spice cowboy cookies recently and I had a perfectly nice time with as many of those as I had. Dave 28:05 Yeah. They were pretty mild, that was the trick. Tara 28:08 Yeah, they were very orange, though. Dave 28:10 The problem with pumpkin spice though is that it could be very sort of chemically in the same way sometimes cherry flavor tastes like cop syrup. Tara 28:17 Yeah. Yeah. Sarah 28:18 Mmm. Dave 28:18 You know it's too much, it's too overpowering, and it's too, you know, you can see the chemical formula of it rather than the pumpkin. Like that should be the picture on the front, like a bunch of CHs, O2s, and shit like that Sarah 28:25 Mm-hmm. Dave 28:28 instead of a pumpkin. Tara 28:29 Yeah. Sarah 28:29 Yeah. Dave 28:30 These are Laura. "I've been re-watching a few early aughts TV shows and it appears to be a requirement for them to all use Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah" over some depressing scene. True. Pick a scene from one of these shows and either pick a song appropriate to the scene to replace it, or, and, or, pick a song inappropriate to the scene to replace it. Ta. Tara 28:50 From 9-1-1 Lone Star Season 2 Episode 3 titled "Hold the Line" this is a wildfire episode with a crossover involving stars from main 9-1-1. Paramedic Tim Rosewater is killed, everyone is sad. Instead of "Hallelujah" we're going to be hearing "Fire" by the Ohio Players. You can decide whether that's appropriate or in. Dave 29:10 Let me jump in here because I picked the same show, but this is my song. Tara 29:12 Did you? Dave 29:15 [laughs] Sarah! Tara 29:16 [laughs] Sarah 29:20 I went with the season two premiere of House. It's called Acceptance. The song plays over Cameron telling a terminal patient that she has gotten emotionally attached to that the patient has cancer and a death row inmate played by LL Cool J gets a diagnosis that might explain while not excusing the last murder of four that he had committed. The song is less inappropriate here than it was many other times where it was like scoring some like sad end to a love story like someone please listen to the lyrics you're killing me. But I'm going to put Peter Gabriel's Here Comes the Flood here instead. And so that's the more appropriate choice. And the least appropriate choice is Pink's "God is a DJ." Tara 30:00 [laughter] Dave 30:02 Peter Gabriel's Here Come the Flood was used in Alias, I believe, and they cut the Tara 30:06 Hmm. Dave 30:07 song before the big moment in the song, and I was like, "Why the Fuck did you even bother if that was your play?" Tara 30:13 Yeah. Dave 30:14 It's like, "Oh, look at me, I'm going to use this song, but not the part. That's great," says JJ Abrams. Hack! LBBB, what's the lamest or least satisfying payoff for a season-ending cliffhanger? Sarah. Sarah 30:27 I did do some research on this to refresh my memory on notorious cliffhangers that weren't series enders. Dave 30:33 Right. Sarah 30:33 I had forgotten that President David Palmer on 24 got poisoned by Mandy in the season 2 finale. And then season 3 was like, "Let's just handwave this with a multi-year time jump and BT dubs. Jack Bauer is struggling with heroin addiction now." Tara 30:49 Oh boy. Sarah 30:50 I remember that season pretty fondly because of the D.B.wood side of it all. And PS confidential to Again With This verse heads we can cover some of that season because Doug Savant is in a few episodes. But yeah, that was a pretty lame lame solution under the cirques Dave. Dave 31:08 I have an answer that's so bad it actually transitioned over two shows and like multiple Sarah 31:08 but Dave 31:14 seasons which is Mandalorian season two ending into the mess that was the book of Boba Fett's which became Mando 2.5 season as a course correction because he sent Grogu off to Luke Skywalker to become a Jedi and learn the force as I believe the storyline always was. And then they're like, oh shit, Grogu's selling so many fucking bumper stickers and dolls. We got to bring him back right now. We don't have time to do it in "The Mandalorian." Sarah 31:38 (laughing) Dave 31:40 Let's do it in this show. How are we going to do that? Well, let's stop the book of Boba Fett for a couple episodes. And we'll just have "The Mandalorian" running around and Grogu saying he wants to go back because whatever. And then by the time it comes around to Mandalorian season three, everything's been reset as far as Grogu goes. And if you never watched the book above a fat, you wouldn't have no idea what's going on. Not that it really matters Tara 32:03 Right. Dave 32:04 because that season of the Mandalorian sucked a bag of eggs and I invite you to go shit yourself. Tara 32:08 [Laughter] Dave 32:12 So I was just like, it was so complicated. Sarah 32:12 (Laughs) Dave 32:15 What a mess that whole thing was. It was like textbook marvel-ization of Star Wars and it was sad. Tara 32:20 Mm-hmm. Val and Brandon and season 5 of Beverly Hills 90210 making out, and then when we see them again in season 6, Dave 32:21 Tar-- Sarah 32:26 Oh yeah! Tara 32:29 we hear that they both just cracked up and stopped and like, come on, no one ever stopped making up with Val. Give me a break. Sarah 32:36 Yeah, come on. Dave 32:37 I'd just like to issue a correction. I meant to say marvel-ization. Tara 32:41 Now, of course you did. Sarah 32:41 Yeah, I was thinking it, as you know. Tara 32:43 You did. Dave 32:45 Tim Mick, "In my teens, I had the idea for Riverdale "before it happened." Did you ever have an idea for a show that was later actually a thing? I think I did. Do you remember when we did the cross-country road trip and we were recording ourselves every day in our stupid little podcast? Tara 33:00 Yes. Dave 33:01 And I came up with the idea for a show called "Char Case"? Tara 33:02 Yes. Dave 33:04 I think "Char Case" has come to fruition at some point. Tara 33:05 [ Laughter ] Dave 33:06 It's gotta be one of those Dick Wolf Chicago shows or something along that. There had to be an investigatory fire show some point, right? Yeah, okay. I can't provide you with the name of the show, but I just Tara 33:14 I'm sure. Dave 33:18 got a feeling Char-Case came to be. Char. Tara 33:19 Mm-hmm. Probably. We had the idea for Superstar USA where it's like inside out American Idol, but it's all Dave 33:26 Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think 10,000 people had that idea, but... Tara 33:27 about just bad auditioners not telling them they're bad. I'm sure, but that's the question. I'm answering it. Dave 33:35 Yeah. Tara 33:36 I'm going to read this week's Ask, Ask EHG, which comes from Tomka, who writes, I just saw the trailer for the YA show Sterling Point. As a high school teacher, my first thought was, oh, that's a great show to cover in lit class. Turns out the show is way too long. I've used many TV shows in both English and German language and lit classes, such as Anthony Bourdain's Parts Unknown and Reservation Dogs. Seeing as there might be other teachers out there right now, sobering up to the summer holidays ending soon, do you have any recs for shows that we could cover in school? My criteria are a few episodes, ideally six to eight, ideally a 25 minute show, or for older students up to 60 minutes, age appropriate, fun and new because my kids just won't put up with anything filmed before they were even born. For younger ESL students, slow and clear dialogue and visual cues. For older students, some depth and relevant topics. listener if you're thinking I can't possibly remember all that go to discord all of this will be spelled out you can read it and if you have an answer post Sarah 34:31 [LAUGHTER] Tara 34:35 it there or send it to Dave Clip 34:37 Enough! I'm so sick and tired of hearing you people talk about food, food, food! Dave 34:41 I forgot we talked about pumpkin spice. Tara 34:43 we did Clip 34:44 [fanfare] Dave 34:45 It is time for the tiny cannon presenting this week it is David T. Cole who happens to be me. Today I'm bringing you a moment from extras series two episode three entitled Daniel Radcliffe and that is who this is all about. In this episode, we have the meta piece of business of a 2006 mid-Harry Potter run Daniel Radcliffe trying to play against type in real life by playing against type in the world of the show Extras. Tara 35:15 (Chuckle) Dave 35:17 Basically, Daniel Radcliffe has decided that he is going to be a man now and will do manly things while still under the watchful eye of his mother. This includes hitting on every woman 15 years his elder and boasting about all the alcohol drink. This leads to a scene in the lunch caravan on set where he sits with Andy and Maggie, who are the leads of the show, and proceeds to tell them about his manly plans for himself. Clip 35:45 Just been eating. Yeah, yeah, sweet. Look, thanks for covering my arse earlier. The offer still stands. What offer? You know. Dave 35:56 So that silence at the end is Daniel Radcliffe doing the finger in whole motion, but he's doing Tara 36:00 [laughter] Yep. Dave 36:03 it with a crooked finger, which makes it even funnier. He doesn't quite know how to do it, right? Tara 36:04 [laughter] Sarah 36:06 Bye. Dave 36:08 Maggie, nonplussed and obviously grossed out, gets up to go to craft services to gather drinks. Clip 36:15 Just gonna go and get a drink, does anybody want anything? I'll have a cup of tea. Get me a bourbon, would you babe? Well I think it's mostly just teas and coffees. Oh yeah, then get me a cup of dough, would you? And make it strong, I don't like the weak shit. Oh, yeah, I'll do. Dave 36:25 There's a moment where he says "weak shit" and he notices somebody that is keeping an eye on him and he just starts to do a little panic. Tara 36:28 [LAUGH] Dave 36:31 But Daniel, he's got plans. Clip 36:34 Look, when she comes back, right mate, some excuse and leave us alone, will you? What, you got planned? Dave 36:42 That sound at the end of the clip is him pulling out a fully unraveled condom from his Boy Scout uniform pocket. it. Clip 36:52 You've unravelled it. Ready for action. Let's just hope it's big enough. Dave 36:58 And the sound at the end of that clip is him stretching it out again, but it snaps away and flies behind them. Tara 37:03 [laughs] Dave 37:05 Smash cut to Diana Rigg, a spoonful of soup frozen in midair in an unraveled, stretched out condom draped over her head like a dolly painting that tipped directly over her eye. Clip 37:19 Um, can I have my Johnny back? May I have my Johnny back? May I have my Johnny back? Please. Yeah. It's not called a Johnny though, is it? Durex? No. That's a brand name. May I have back my prophylactic? Or sheath? May I have my prophylactic? Tick. Tick. Prophylactic. Can I have it, please? Yes. Dave 37:48 [AUDIO OUT] Clip 37:52 Excuse me. Haven't you forgotten something? Oh, thank you, Dame Diana. Dave 37:58 --puts it back in his uniform. Clip 38:01 Still gonna use it, yeah? Yeah, that'll be fine. Lucky girl. Tara 38:04 Bye bye. Dave 38:06 Lucky girl. And that is the scene. Sarah 38:11 the Dave 38:11 It's easy to forget how young Daniel Radcliffe still is. He does such a good job in this episode and he plays it so well and he pulls it off here. Like there's a lot going on for such a simple scene and I think he plays both sides of sort of the meta equation of this whole conceit. So this is my pitch for the tiny misplaced confidence canon. Tara 38:36 Thank you Dave. Sarah, you watched less of the show I believe than we have, so why don't you go first. Sarah 38:41 Yeah, this is about the right dose of Gervais that you can administer to me and not have me pass out from annoyance. So yeah, and he plays this perfectly. God bless and keep Daniel Radcliffe. He has always been game for this shit. He has always chosen pretty well when it comes to this and he is perfect here. That blend of like, you know, just teenage boy, not bluster exactly, but like, all right, Well, you know, sincere belief that your own mediocrity can still elevate you. And then being chastened by Diana Rigg with this rubber just dangling jauntily over one Tara 39:21 [laughs] Sarah 39:22 eye really does look like a Dali painting. And then the lucky girl at the end when he's kind of trying not to laugh is very funny. This is all perfectly delivered and perfectly timed. Perfect use of Dame Diana Rigg. done throughout a little gem exactly what you want for the tiny cannon. Tara. Tara 39:42 Yeah, I agree. The editing is what largely makes this scene, obviously the performances, but the cut to Dame Diana with the loose condom just hanging partly over her eye is so funny. Dave 39:53 Yeah. Tara 39:55 I can't believe I forgot that's where the scene was going. Dave 39:57 That's right. And I just like to think about actually on set filming extras and like they got the Tara 40:02 Yes. Dave 40:03 prop master, like, just, excuse me, I have to do this gently. It's like, oh no, that's not quite right. Mmm Tara 40:10 My first thought watching it again is that they could have cut the scene after Dame Diana correcting him, may I? And it would have been as good, but forcing Radcliffe to say every syllable of prophylactic and then also reminding him to say thank you or you're welcome is so worth the time. It is slightly upsetting to see a not quite 18 year old Daniel Radcliffe making sex plans until the scene makes it very clear he shan't be fucking anyone with this prophylactic or any others so yes perfectly just a perfect little Sarah 40:39 *laughs* Tara 40:44 tiny gem of a scene. Well chosen. Dave 40:47 Thank you. All right, let's make this official. Sarah D. Bunting, what do you think about this for the tiny misplaced confidence canon? Sarah 40:54 My gosh, absolutely yes. Tara 40:57 Yes, for me as well. Dave 40:59 So, Daniel Radcliffe at lunch from extras, you are hereby inducted into the Extra Hot Great tiny misplaced confidence canon. Clip 41:10 -Americans love a winner. -Yup. -And will not tolerate a loser. -Nope. Dave 41:15 It is time to discover our not quite winners and losers of the week. I will go first. I have two winners for you. The first one I understand about half the words in this headline. The People vs Gorilla Grodd picked up for an eight episode series at HBO Max. Gorilla Grodd is some sort of character from the DC universe. Tara 41:33 [Pause for response] Dave 41:34 he is a gorilla named Grodd. And this is from the American Vandal People, which is interesting. Tara 41:36 Hm. Uh-huh. Yes. Dave 41:44 It is some sort of crime drama set in the DC universe starring the Jimmy Olsen character Tara 41:46 [Pause for response] Dave 41:50 from Superman, a movie I thought was overstuffed and bad. But yes, yeah. Yeah. That's the conceit. Tara 41:53 Yeah. Sarah 41:54 I think it's like a mockumentary actually. Tara 41:56 Yes. Sarah 41:56 it keeps showing up in my Google traps for that reason i think tetra is in it yeah yeah Tara 41:59 Mm-hmm. Yes, he is. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Dave 42:04 I'm interested. It's always fun when comic book thing actually just goes full genre on something. Sarah 42:06 same Dave 42:10 It usually is more satisfying to me than watching, you know, here is a small TV version of the superhero origin story or whatever. Tara 42:17 Yeah, and historically, DC has been better, I think, at making their shows, like, different from each other and also fun like you know the difference between Harley Quinn and Doom Patrol Dave 42:23 Yeah. Tara 42:28 and this sort of tells you the the gamut that they run in a very satisfying way. Dave 42:31 Right. And I don't know why they don't do that more just across the whole industry because Tara 42:36 Yes. Dave 42:36 the source material is like that. It's not like, you know, Daredevil and I don't know, whatever, Madder Eating Lad are like really from the same bucket of drama. So. Sarah 42:46 (laughs) Tara 42:47 Yeah. Dave 42:48 And then this is wild. They're making a Robocop series at Amazon and Dan Stevens is playing Robocop. How dare he step into the shoes of Joel Kinnaman. Sarah 42:55 (laughs) That's so weird. Tara 42:58 [LAUGH] Dave 43:03 Thanks. And loser of the week, comma, not quite, the Miss USA pageant has been yanked from the CW schedule a week ahead of its announced airing with no plans to reschedule it. And I'm just going to say you have to have fucked up real bad. If the CW won't air you, the CW will air loose change at fines on the Tara 43:18 [laughs] Dave 43:25 just because that's what it's got going. Tara 43:26 Mm-hmm. Dave 43:27 You got a Himalayan lowland series that we can buy? We'll air it. You got a third tier Australian drama? Sarah 43:36 Seriously, New Zealand's funniest squirrels! Dave 43:37 Yes, please. That's the CW.exactly. Sarah 43:41 What? Dave 43:41 So, you know, the writing's on the wall for pageants, I guess, if the CW won't air you. Tara 43:45 Yeah. Dave 43:46 So, you know, loser of the week for sure. All right, Sarah, who's your knock white winner? Sarah 43:50 Uh, that's Judd Apatow, who has set up a documentary about Norm Macdonald at Netflix. I am sort of not agnostic, but like, you know, cautiously optimistic re Apatow in the unscripted space. But I think that he will get a lot of people to participate in a documentary with this subject and that's promising. I am interested. My not quite loser is Kit Harington replacing Nicholas Holt as Gilderoy Lockhart in the Harry Potter TV series. People stop saying yes to the Harry Potter TV series. And if you already said yes, get your agent to get you out of it. It's unacceptable! Tara 44:29 Yep. My not quite winner of the week is Dancing with the Stars. It is casting Julia Stiles of Save the Last Dance for season 35. I always feel like this is a little bit of a cheat. You know, when you have people on who definitely can already dance or are in a dance associated line of work like figure skating, for example. But like this follows Jennifer Grey being a contestant on Dancing with the Stars. like this feels unfair. You can't really put those kinds of stars up against like, you know, a pro football player or whatever. But they are also getting back Sharna Burgess as a pro, grateful for Sharna, Brian Austin Green's fiance and mother of one of his many children. Not quite loser of the week is not suitable for work. The Mindy Kaling young adults in the workplace in Manhattan show that I talked about a few weeks ago, the one that was originally called Murray Hill, has been canceled after one season at Hulu. And between this cancellation and the announced closing of the AMC Kips's Bay, Murray Hill just taking so many L's right now. Sarah 45:37 Oh my god. Tara 45:37 You hate to see it. Dave 45:38 All right, buckle in for Kim Rees, the most awesome thing I watched on TV last month. Kim 45:47 Hi, this is Kim Reed and welcome to the most awesome thing I saw on TV last month. Last month I watched season 9 episode 11 of The Love Boat, so let's get into it. Why was it a thing in the 70s and 80s to suddenly change the theme song to a show? Like suddenly Dionne Warwick is singing the theme song? And no shade on Dionne, but did it have to do with music rights? Did they only license the song for so many years? Because it just sounds weird and it makes the whole episode start off cattywampus. I take my TV theme songs very seriously. Anyway, as always with this show, I'll recap each storyline separately because there's not much overlap. So in the first storyline, Peter Scolari stars as fearless Frank Hobbs, a daredevil—that's a daredevil name—who we meet when he purposely tumbles down the stairs and freaks Gofer out But then he stands up and does a little jump and everyone applauds. Like, imagine you're just trying to get onto your cruise and find your room or whatever. And some guy tumbles down the stairs and then gets up and does a herky. Would you applaud or would you be annoyed? I know what I'd do. So later, Peter Scolari falls over a chair in an attempt to hit on Courtney Cox, who is unimpressed. So later, Courtney Cox is just trying to relax in her room, which has an enormous balcony. And then Peter Scolari dangles over the balcony from some sort of fire hose and refuses to climb back up to safety until she agrees to go to dinner with him. Instead of calling the police, she agrees to dinner and kind of chuckles and shakes her head. And that night, Peter Scolari and Courtney Cox are on their date and he decides to walk on the railing of the ship like it's a balance beam. And she insists that he get down and he realizes he's scaring her. So he confesses that he started doing stunts to get attention. No, duh. That seems exhausting. So he tells her at dinner he's going to jump over 37 Jeeps on a rocket motorcycle the next day. And Courtney Cox is concerned. So then they make out for a while and Courtney Cox asks him not to do the stunt, but Peter Scolari says he has to because he has a contract. And Courtney Cox says she never wants to see him again. Well that escalated quickly, but then she admits she doesn't really mean it. Then the next morning at breakfast, Courtney Cox says she's not going to watch the stunt because she'll be too worried. And then Peter Scolari dips his sleeve in some jelly and says he can't change suits now because this is the only one he has that's fireproof. So that freaks Courtney Cox out and she runs off. the stunt, which takes place off camera because this isn't happy days and he's not the Fonz, Peter Scolari returns to the ship in a wheelchair with his arm and his leg encassed and a cervical collar on. Courtney Cox visits him in his room later and tries to get him to commit to not doing any more stunts, but Peter Scolari won't give it up. Later, Courtney Cox finds Peter Scolari playing craps in the casino and she yells at him because he's supposed to be resting in bed. So she wheels him off and says she can't be in a relationship where she's always worried that her partner's going to die and storms off. She's kind of the boy who cried wolf, like she's stormed off like five times already. Anyway, Peter Scolari visits a room and says, because he loves her, please keep in mind they've known each other like 48 hours, but now he's going to give up his passion and become a stuntman in Hollywood. He explains he might have some bumps and bruises, but at least he'll be in one piece. And then they make out a lot. So in the next storyline, Alan Thicke plays a senator who's taking a cruise with his wife and turns out Senator Alan Thicke's wife is feeling neglected because all he does is read reports and look at folders that say "top secret." While he works, his wife takes a nap, I guess because it's still full daylight outside, and then he has to leave the room for something and she gets up like a zombie and she goes in the bathroom and comes out wrapped in only a towel, and then she starts walking around the ship while looking like she's in a trance. She eventually comes across Doc and without saying a word just gives him a big ol' smackaroo because you know Doc is such a ladies' man, which never fails to confuse me. So maybe the next day, Alan Thicke comes running into his room to report his polls are looking great, and his wife is once again asleep in their bed wearing entirely different silky pajamas. Like, maybe he should look into why she sleeps all the time. Anyway, she wants to celebrate in a horny way, but he tells her he's got to take advantage of this momentum, and she looks sad. Then later, the senator and wife run into Doc in the casino, and Doc is very familiar with the wife until he realizes she's married and he's been around this situation before, so he quickly plays it off. And then even later, Doc's walking out on the deck when Mrs. Senator Alan Thicke finds him and starts kissing him again. And then she says she's going to take a bath, by which she means get naked and hop in the pool. And when Doc admonishes her, she seems to come to and she asks, "What's she doing there?" Doc helps her out of the pool. And of course, that's when Senator Alan Thicke walks onto the deck and he is suspicious of Doc manhandling his naked wife. So the next day, Doc finally puts it all together and has a revelation. And he goes to see Senator Alan Thicke and explains his wife is a sleepwalker. Why he couldn't say this to the wife instead of Alan Thicke is unclear. So Doc suggests that Alan Thicke stay up tonight and see if his wife sleepwalks. So Senator Alan Thicke tries, but he falls asleep reading one of his dumb reports. And his wife sleepwalks out of their room and she hightails it right to Doc and starts kissing him again. He does not resist as much as you might think he would, but he does tell her to wait and he'll be right back. And then he goes and gets Alan Thicke and they find Mrs. Senator Alan Thicke in the casino sleeping on the craps table. So on the last day, as the senator and his wife leave the ship, Doc explains that the stress was causing her to sleepwalk, so she promises to take it easy. I guess that problem solved. So good old Ted McGinley's in this episode, playing Ace the photographer, and he spots a Russian father and daughter boarding the ship, and just take like three seconds to guess what this Russian father's name is. Yeah, it's Ivan, because he's a Russian character in the 80s. Anyway, Ace hits on the daughter, who doesn't seem interested, which I don't get, because Ted McGinley even now is very handsome. Ace tries to get a picture of the woman and her father, and she gets upset and throws her hand in front of his lens, which causes him to fall in the pool. When he emerges, he hits on her again, but this time she's interested. Once Ace leaves, Ivan tells his daughter to stop drawing attention to them, and then I swear to God, Yakov Smirnov asks the father quietly when they can meet. So there's some sort of Russian spy situation happening, I guess? Later they realize that Ace took a picture of them, and they say they have to get it destroyed. Anyway, Lady Spy goes and finds Ace and asks him to go dancing, and then afterwards they make out on the deck, but then we discover she's just distracting him so the other two spies can go to his darkroom and get the negative for the photo in question. Ace returns later and finds his darkroom a mess, so the next morning he finds Mrs. Russian Spy and tells her that his darkroom was broken into and some negatives were stolen, and she's all hopeful like, "Oh, so that means you'll never know what was in those photos," and he says, "Oh no, I made duplicates," and he shows her. So then Ace finds a photo of Mr. Russian Spy passing an envelope to Yakov Smirnoff. So then Ace tells Captain Steubing his theory that Mr. Russian Spy teaches at Stanford, which everyone knows is where they have nuclear secrets. So he must have been passing those secrets off to Yakov Smirnoff, who's the Russian ambassador to Mexico City. Captain Steubing immediately says he'll call the FBI.ace returns to his room and finds the lady spy waiting for him, and he tells her he's not going to give her the picture, and so she pulls out a gun. And he tells her Captain Steubing has a copy of the picture, so it doesn't matter. Then he explains his whole theory about nuclear secrets, and then he grabs the gun and she tells him it's not real, it's just a cigarette lighter. So Mrs. Not-a-Spy after all explains that her father is a gymnastics coach who defected from Russia, and Yakov Smirnov is passing letters to her mother, who's still in Russia. Maybe I'm just influenced by current immigration status, but would someone who defected from Russia be allowed to take an international cruise? Anyway, Ace burns the pictures and then the lady kisses him for his troubles, and I guess the mom is going to defect also or possibly emigrate, but it was all very unclear and none of these people ever appeared on another episode, so don't worry about it. So let's end with the weirdest and also shortest storyline. So the Love Boat Mermaid, you know, the dance crew that performs on the love boat that has definitely been a part of this show since the first season? Anyway, they're sitting around talking, and the only one you recognize today is played by Terri Hatcher, although her voice is completely different than it was in anything else she's ever done, which is a choice. So Terri Hatcher wants to do a dance routine on the Lido deck, but the other mermaids think that sounds dumb. I mean, the Lido deck. What is she thinking? So then one night she's sitting alone looking into the pool lamenting that no one will use her idea, and then she has a fantasy that's a whole dance number set to "It's Raining Men," which features the mermaids who are nowhere near any water in a real Little Mermaid-type situation. There's also a bunch of greased-up muscle-bound men wearing speedos standing around flexing, like what did I just tune into? And there's also inexplicable fog on the deck, like it's not exactly raining men, but there's absolutely some kind of weird weather situation happening. And lest you think this was just like a short excerpt, no, they do the whole song. And then it ends and Terry's friend tells her she still thinks the idea is dumb and that's it for the mermaids. And that was the most awesome thing I saw on TV last month. Tara 54:26 Well, today's extra credit topic is actually stolen from Seth from the Ask EHG channel on Discord. Seth writes, "I recently rewatched The Haunting of Hill House with the intention of submitting the bent-neck lady to the canon, but ultimately felt it was just too sad to subject the panel to. Is there a candidate for the canon that you feel absolutely deserves to get in, but you don't feel comfortable submitting for some reason? Dave, start us off. Dave 54:52 All right, I have what I'm sure is going to be a disappointing answer for you and everybody listening, but I honestly don't think I have that problem. If there is something I think is canon worthy, I'll just present it. I have in the past presented things that I don't know, probably, maybe somebody would say, "Well, I don't know about that, Dave." Like I took a swing at Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, where the cheese episode, and let's Tara 55:16 Mm-hmm. Dave 55:18 honest, Cheese is a special needs coded character. It's pretty mean-spirited as an episode of TV, Tara 55:21 Mm. Yep. Dave 55:25 but also very funny. And I pitched it. I don't know. I don't think it got in. I think it was the first one where I'm like, well, Fuck everybody involved with this judgment. Tara 55:31 [LAUGHS] Sarah 55:32 I think I voted for it and yeah. Dave 55:34 I think Joe fucked it up. Yeah. Yeah. Just because Cheese became a thing on the show after, Tara 55:35 Yeah, I don't think you were there. This was from Mark 1, I believe, and Joe was too put off, I believe. Sarah 55:38 Oh, really? Oh. Dave 55:44 I think is why you embrace cheese and his love of chocolate milk. Tara 55:47 [laughs] Sarah 55:48 Hmm? Dave 55:48 So I don't think I would discount anything because I feel like it would make people Sarah 55:49 What's cereal? Dave 55:53 too sad or cringe or whatever. Tara 55:56 Mm-hmm. Dave 55:56 I mean, I would just try to pitch around it or through it. Tara 55:58 Yeah, all right. Sarah 56:00 Well, I have a bunch or sort of a range. There are actually a few Sopranos episodes left that I have not pitched in either direction. I think we've probably reached max cap and if someone else wants to try to get long-term parking in to the cannon or the tiny cannon I think might be a good place for that. Like a sort of not fantasy sequence but alternate timeline blip there at the end. Employee of the Month is also a stunning acting tour de force by a number of people but it's just really a lot. assault is not something I necessarily feel we have to include in our, you know, the complete Sopranos in the canon. The Good Place finale I thought about submitting, but I actually don't Tara 56:45 [Pause for group work] Sarah 56:48 think I could get through that without crying, which doing that in front of people, not my shit. Hannibal? It's hard to make a canon pitch about a show about a composite character serial killer who is a cannibal. And also it's extraordinarily visual in how good it is. So that's out. There's Tara 57:08 Mm-hmm. Sarah 57:12 some dark episodes involving suicide or suicidal ideation that I don't necessarily feel comfortable bringing when they see us. I feel like maybe someone should try to get some part of that in, but it's just really a lot. And I have a couple of tiny canon candidates that involve, frankly, people barfing during live television broadcasts, which is funny, but also disgusting. And we have known emetophobes in the audience and on the panel. So there's a lot of different reasons, but usually it's either this is more upsetting possibly to listeners than it is worth trying to Tara 57:51 Yeah. Sarah 57:52 get in the canon, or it's a highly represented show where like, I don't know, 17% of the show was already in the cannon or their spark. Tara 58:02 Yeah. Mm-hmm. Sarah 58:05 Or cannibalism, you know, those those family faiths Tara. Tara 58:08 Sure. Well, like Dave, I think my track record demonstrates I am prepared to pitch nearly anything to the canon, whether I believe my co-hosts or any guests would vote for them, King of Queens twice. So my answer is for something I would not pitch to the nonac, even though I think it would deserve to get in, and that is High Maintenance Season 3, Episode 6, Finger Butt. I love High Maintenance. I've successfully pitched an episode to the canon and probably should revisit that again at some point. But I don't think a show has come along since that ended that has its bittersweetness and its non-judgmental affection for all of its characters. Finger Butt has a classic high maintenance story in the first half, which is the great Kathleen Chow Fent playing a woman who becomes a model later in life. The issue is the second half, which I'm about to spoil. So spoiler warning for an episode of TV from February 2019. Clip 59:01 Spoiler alert! NOOOOO! Tara 59:03 Stars the great Ken Leung as Gene, a veterinarian who doesn't want to take a prescribed antidepressant. Sarah 59:09 Fuuuuuck, yes! Tara 59:09 Yeah this one. He tries microdosing psilocybin instead. The dose he tries keeps getting bigger until he takes a huge one and has a bad trip while he is on the clock at work and a client brings in their tuba because their kitten's gotten caught in the bell. Gene is not in a fit state to perform this extraction, but he does it anyway and he kills We don't see it. It's still awful. I'm all for shows Stretching and taking risks, especially ones like high maintenance that can be or do almost anything But I wouldn't ever want to make someone else watch this one because I wish I had never seen it Sarah 59:43 Yeah. Tara 59:46 And by the way, just I was that I was curious This vulture has a ranking of all 44 episodes of high maintenance including the web series This one was right in the middle at 23 I was astounded and while we're on the subject Please feel free to read my story at cracked begging comedy shows to stop killing dogs for laughs But be warned it contains a lot of descriptions of comedy shows killing dogs for laughs and this is in that category and I Sarah 01:00:11 Yeah, I think Tara you were in the middle of watching it while it was airing and just Tara 01:00:17 Maybe Sarah 01:00:17 like hit pause on the DVR and you were like, I don't know if you even watch this show or ever plan to promise me you will never watch this this episode any part of it. Tara 01:00:25 Hmm. Sarah 01:00:26 Promise me. I was like, Oh, tuba kitten. Yeah, I'm on it. Tara 01:00:29 *laughs* Sarah 01:00:29 It's fine. Tara 01:00:31 No good! Sarah 01:00:32 Oh, yeah. Clip 01:00:33 (bell ringing) Dave 01:00:35 Well, on that note, that is it for another episode of Extra Extra Hot Great. We analogued Tara 01:00:37 *laughs* Dave 01:00:43 our feelings about the 90s renovation show Totally 90s House before answering your burning ass EASG questions like, "What's your favorite bean?" Dave got Harry Potter's Tara 01:00:53 *snorts* Dave 01:00:55 There's Wan Sheath into the tiny canon. We celebrated those who weren't quite the best and worst of the week, went on the love boat in Kim's The Most Awesome Thing, and wrapped Clip 01:01:03 (soft piano music) Dave 01:01:05 that all up with canon pitches we didn't feel comfortable submitting. Next up is the fall TV preview with Eve Beatty. Remember! Clip 01:01:15 - We're listening. (laughing) Dave 01:01:19 I am David T. Cole, and on behalf of Tara Ariano Tara 01:01:21 You had to have drapery in the 90s. Clip 01:01:24 (piano music) Sarah 01:01:26 Like the olive in the smoothie! Dave 01:01:28 Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time, right here on Extra, Extra Hot Grid. Clip 01:01:43 Great flow to it, like it felt really homey. This is Extra Hot Great Minis. Today's topic is informative shows. Hello, welcome to Extra Hot Great Minis. Joining us all this week is our guest Omar Gallaga. Hi Omar. Hooray. Yay. I like this character. This is an extra credit topic from Jen Boggs and she asks, she wants to hear about TV shows that we watched as kids that A, shaped your character and/or ideas about living in an adult world, B, scared or intimidating you because of their grown-upness, and/or C, delighted you at the time but upon re-watching as an adult, do not stand up, and why? Omar, as our guest, why don't you start? - Oh, okay, well I did all three, but I'll just narrow it down. - I did too, I missed the and/or, but whatever. - Okay, well the one that I think informed me the most was You Can't Do That on Television, which I think had a lot to do with helping form my sense of humor and my inherent distrust of adults and authority. - And your cooking skills. - And it made me really like Canadians. - And admitting that you didn't know things. - Sure. - Yes. And then the one that I had as a, one that maybe was inappropriate was I used to watch "Dynasty" with my mom when I was like, maybe nine or 10 years old. And that started because I saw an article about it in like Star Magazine where they like gave a synopsis of everything that had happened up to that point. "Oh, and I can start watching this with my mom." (laughing) - What a good son. - That is adorable. - And the show that I don't think would hold up and I'm actually afraid to watch it for that reason is "The Greatest American Hero." I have not gone back and watched it because I have such fond memories of it. I can't possibly live up to how much I loved it as a child. - Love it. Sarah. - I did get the Andor and mine is "L.A. Law." Whatever that episode was with the Venus butterfly trick like remains burned in my brain and not necessarily in a good way. It did seem like a pretty grown-up show. I think it was on a 10 o'clock. I think that was the first show where someone said "bitch" on TV. I could be wrong. Maybe it was Dynasty. Omar, you can correct me if I'm wrong about that. But it like I watched an episode like a year ago and it's just so slow. But I really did think as a kid when it was on like, oh well, you know, when you get a job, then you, you know, can only date amongst your co-workers. Also, your co-workers will look like Victor Cifuentes. Not always true, I found out. - Cifuentes. - Cifuentes. - Shall I go next? - Yeah, go ahead. - Okay, my pick for most shaped your ideas about living in an adult world, this was, this is so obscure, but there was a show that was on for like a season called Jack and Mike that starred Shelly Hack from Charlie's Angels in the 80s. And I remember 0% about this show, except that it was about adults that were married and they didn't have kids. And that was like, at the time, I felt like it was the only show on TV that was like that. I mean, I guess when I was thinking about it for this, Heart to Heart was there and like, Mad About You came along a few years later. But for some reason I thought like, oh, you can get married and be an adult and not have kids. And this would have been right around the time when my sister was four and I was babysitting her a lot. And that idea was very appealing to me. I love her now. But having her be that much younger than me definitely contributed to not wanting to have kids, which I still don't and never will. Okay, moving on. Shows that scared or intimidated you because of their grown-upness, "Saturday Night Live," which I would stay up and watch and almost always fall asleep in the middle of and definitely did not get most of it. And then shows that delighted you at the time that probably don't stand up as an adult. This is one that I also watched with my mom, Beauty and the Beast. - Oh, wow. - The Ron Perlman version. She loved it. And I used to watch it with her, and it's probably terrible. And I will probably never know 'cause I have no reason to revisit it. David. - I just answered the part that was a show that shaped your characters and/or ideas about living in an adult world. And the show is Mark and Mindy, hear me out. - Oh dear. - But this is what I remember from Mark and Mindy. I can't remember like any plots from Mark and Mindy, but what I remember about Mark and Mindy the most was that it introduced the idea that people had bosses and there was like this hierarchy, this power structure to organizations that I kind of didn't really realize that was there before. You know, because-- - Are you talking about, whose boss are you talking about? - Well, you know, like at the beginning or end of every episode, Mark would go report to, you know, the voice, the nameless voice. - Yeah, I just didn't know if you meant him or the dad at the music store. - I don't even know. I see, I remember so little about the show beyond just this idea that there was this overseer that was Mork's boss. And then later on, there was also Jonathan Winters, who was like his father, son, child, whatever the Hell was going on with the big egg and all that kind of stuff. But yeah, Mork and Mindy is the first show I can remember thinking like, okay, why does this person have to listen to this other person and they're not a parent. You know what I mean? Like it was that sort of like understanding that there's this world that revolves around having to do tasks for other people and the weird thing that was missing from that equation, there's no money involved in Mark and Mindy. It was strictly a Starfleet-esque first directive mission of exploration. - You don't know that Mark didn't have some kind of credit account that was getting direct deposited into. - Shazbot.