How Did Death By Lightning Strike Us?

Dave: [0:28] This is the Extra Extra Hot Great Podcast, episode 381 for the November 8th, 2025 weekend. i am slob surgeon david t cole and i'm here with gentleman who threw the paperweight sarah bunting allegedly and drunken vice president tara arellano sausages. Tara: [1:03] Hello, listeners, new and old. Thank you so much for being here and for your support. We are here today to bring you our discussion on Death by Lightning. Charles Guiteau. Who the fuck is Charles Guiteau? Well, he's played by Matthew McFadden. He is a convicted small-time con artist with a lot of big ideas and less talent for bullshit than he believes. By chance, his travels bring him to Chicago just in time for the city to host the Republican National Convention, where a shocking upset sweeps Congressman James Garfield to the top of the presidential ticket. Guiteau gets caught up in election fever and convinces himself of his importance to the campaign with regrettable results. The show was adapted from Candace Millard's Edgar Award winning nonfiction book, Destiny of the Republic. Mike Mikowski adapted it for TV. He also wrote the excellent HBO original movie, Bad Education. The series was directed by Matt Ross, best known for playing Gavin Belson in Silicon Valley. All four episodes of Death by Lightning dropped on Netflix November 6th. We may talk about events from any of them or from, you know, history. Let's do the Chen check-in. Sarah, should our listeners watch Death by Lightning? Sarah: [2:17] I am never going to say no about a program with this much presidential bunting. Actually, I loved it. It's amazing. Yes, you should watch it if you have Grandpa Buncey interests. Tara: [2:29] Dave. We expect great things. Dave: [2:32] Yeah, I really enjoyed it. Tara: [2:34] I did too. I'm going to say definitely watch it. But if you're going to be with a boomer dad for Thanksgiving, do him a solid. Save it for then because it's probably something nice for the two of you to watch together, I would say. Sarah: [2:47] Totally. Tara: [2:48] Sarah, as someone who went to high school in this country, how forgotten is James Garfield actually? Sarah: [2:53] Yeah. Pretty forgotten that Grandpa Buncey references made advisedly. I enjoyed the, I think it was the Washington Post podcast series on all the presidential elections. I really enjoyed that audiobook about forgotten, or no, it was called Accidental Presidents, Arthur, of course, on the list, but nobody remembers anything that he actually did or how he became president. It's all just people rooting around in his guts after eating chicken and not washing their hands. So, yeah, I mean, not a figure that figures, at least in AP U.S. history. Sure. Tara: [3:33] I mean, it does seem part of it may be that the cool stuff he wanted to do as president, at least as far as we see it in the show, is not necessarily stuff that a centrist educational system wants kids to know that much about because he seems like he was pretty ahead of his time in the policies that he didn't get a chance to enact because, you know, there was stonewalling and also he got shot. I feel like if you had Matthew McFadden and Michael Shannon at the top of this cast list, it might take a few days to decide which of them would play which character. I feel like I can pretty easily imagine the version where it went the opposite way. Dave, what do you think? Dave: [4:07] I think Michael Shannon would bring more menace to the role of the assassin Gato. I think that's just his resting nature is to have a baseline amount of menace. So I don't know if that would have worked, actually. I think if that was a choice they They made the right choice. McFadden is really great as a guy who just really is in his own head and really has a lot of delusions of grandeur and his place in the universe. And I think he thinks of it as his place in the universe. Tara: [4:38] Yeah. Sarah: [4:38] And if you look at the Wikipedia entry for the assassination of this president, the two top pictures of each of them, it's like uncanny how close they look. So this was very good casting and just for the talent on display. And I mean, everyone else right down the line, great casting. Dave: [4:58] Yeah. I mean, that part of it, his characterization is got a lot of Coen Brothers energy, you know, that sort of plus character that's always somewhere in one of their movies. He kind of fits that mold. And just the whole sort of heightened characterizations of all the major players in this minus, I'm going to say Garfield's wife, which is playing it pretty straight, really establishes the tone of this. And when you see what it's about and you see that it looks very lush and rich and they've done a good job recreating the era, you think, oh, this is going to be like a stodgy, what's his nuts, David McCullough or, you know, the guy McCullough. And it's not. It's very entertaining. Tara: [5:41] Yeah. Yeah. I think you can tell that someone is behind it that has a lot of experience in comedy, which is Matt Ross, the director. I'll also point our listeners, if they like this, to similar sort of true crime docudrama from a couple of years ago called Stonehouse, where Matthew McFadden plays a British politician, a cabinet minister in the 70s who gets into a lot of trouble way over his head, fakes his death. Dave: [6:03] That was pretty fun, too. Tara: [6:05] It's great. It's on BritBox, so you can watch it. I would also, though, on the comedy tip, would have loved to see a few more scenes in the Oneida Free Love Colony, because those were hilarious. That was so crazy. Dave: [6:17] I had no idea. No idea that that was something that existed at that time. Sarah: [6:22] Oh, yeah. Dave: [6:24] Sarah's like, yeah. Sarah: [6:25] And then he was the only one who couldn't get any. Dave: [6:27] I was conceived there. Tara: [6:28] Yeah. Sarah: [6:31] Grandpa Buncey's not that old. Yeah, really. Tara: [6:33] But this is something that, I mean, if this was going on in New York at the time, let's get some of this in Gilded Age. This is contemporaneous, really. Queen of all our hearts, Dave already mentioned her. Betty Gilpin plays Garfield's wife, Crete. Short for Lucretia, which I only learned at the very end of the finale. Makes sense, I guess. Did not put it together before that. She probably gets more to do than most women in a show like this, but would we have still liked to see more, Sarah? Sarah: [6:56] I thought it was an appropriate amount. It's weird because the John Wilkes Booth Manhunt show that we watched had sort of a similar amount of anachronism in it. And Barry's sort of contemporary feeling like, do I think that Roscoe Conkling probably leaned out the window of a handsome cab and yelled at people to shut the fuck up? Probably. Was it phrased differently? Also probably. Sarah: [7:23] But it didn't bother me the way it bothered me in Manhunt. And it didn't bother me that women were sort of a little more like equal partners. It didn't bother me that people of color were talking to doctors not of color in a way that might have gotten them killed in real life. Because this did have that wit about it, even though it is like a stodgy subject that does not have pride of place in the American historical memory. I think that they used that to take a little license in the writing, and that had positive results versus making me annoyed that it didn't feel accurate to the period. I think if they had done more with the character, it would not have felt accurate to the period. But again, they cast it so well, and they wrote it with such obvious love for their characters, even though these were real people, that those kinds of anachronisms didn't bother me. And certainly no anachronism that's going to give me more Betty Gilpin is going to – I'm not going to be mad. Tara: [8:31] Mm-hmm. Dave: [8:31] Yeah, I think the fact that it is a piece of history that most people are not very aware of, plus the fact that it is sort of grounded in, I'm not going to say comedy, but a lighter take, a looser take. I think somebody says motherfucker at some point, which is a century off, I think. Sarah: [8:51] Cocksuckers also. Yeah. Dave: [8:53] So, you know, it has a bit of that Deadwood in it in that regard. And I think those two things combined gives them the permission to be a little loosey-goosey with their characterization. I think the wife is there enough, and she has an important role to play at the end of the series as far as the codas go and sort of putting a button on the fate of the assassin. Tara: [9:15] Yeah. Although, again, to bring up the Gilded Age, let's get Betty Gilpin in the Gilded Age. Dave: [9:18] Ooh, yeah. Tara: [9:19] Her dad is already on it. He's one of the butlers. He's the Russell's butler. Sarah: [9:24] Oh. Tara: [9:24] Yeah. Dave: [9:25] Oh, really? Tara: [9:25] Yeah. That's her father. Dave: [9:28] Wait, the guy with the long face? Tara: [9:29] Yes. Dave: [9:30] Okay. Wow, neat. Tara: [9:32] Political conventions in our day and for decades before have been very rote affairs. What did you think of how much process we got at the RNC, Sarah? Sarah: [9:42] I loved it. I read a book recently about the 1976 conventions and the run up to that and Carter's sort of improbable. Carter was like a sort of Garfieldian figure in that way. and that there was a lot of last-minute delegate swapping, 1960 as well, I think, with Kennedy and Johnson. But I loved how that was done. I loved all the visuals of how it was done, like that they would be writing in a certain font on this chalkboard, keeping track of all the votes. I thought it was really smart to have Bradley Whitford, a Peta Conference West Wing vet, doing a lot of the processing exposition. wasn't in a way that you felt like you had to be taking notes, and then occasionally someone is referred to as that little shit from Pennsylvania. And it's like, okay. I felt like that was an accurate feel of what it was like to be in that sort of stuffy, pipe-smoky room on ballot 14. Like, fuck. Dave: [10:47] Yeah. You know what it reminded me of? It reminded me of a movie scene set in a 1980s New York Stock Exchange movie. you know frazzle dazzle moment where they're all like buy sell buy sell it had that sort of energy to it where you know it was seesawing back and forth and everything was happening which is weird because it's just like you know they're just voting it was basically the high energy version of that long scene in conclave where they're sticking in the boats right yeah it's you know that was like snooze time this is like yay the only thing that bothered me about that whole scene of the convention was their font game was a little off on the every state had their um their banner inside of a flag shield and on a diagonal stripe with the name of the state in it and there were a lot of like okay first thought first grab thought font choices there i the problem with things set in this time period and basically this whole century and into the 20th century a little bit is that there are a lot of good fonts that you can easily buy that sort of look like they're in that era. But everybody buys those 20 fonts and uses them all the time where you really wanted to be accurate and really have sort of a realistic take on that printing of that era. You'd want to hand paint it or hand sew it or something like that. It was too clean, too crisp. Tara: [12:09] Yeah. Too perfect. Sarah: [12:10] Yeah. Kerned. Tara: [12:11] And it's all. Sarah: [12:11] That like jesse james font. Tara: [12:13] Like old. Dave: [12:15] West yeah but generally looked really good they did. Tara: [12:19] A good job. Sarah: [12:19] Or that like coney island in the teens font. Tara: [12:22] But maybe i'm. Sarah: [12:23] Just saying that because of shea wiggum's hair in this and. Dave: [12:27] His purple suits. Sarah: [12:27] So good. Tara: [12:29] Yeah he brad whitford we've already mentioned and wiggum and nick offerman as chester a arthur are all so good as secondary scumbags to varying degrees and you know, their scumbagosity. Dave: [12:41] No idea the back history of Chester A. Arthur coming into this, because really the only thing I knew about Chester A. Arthur was that the school in Die Hard is named after him. Tara: [12:51] Sure. Dave: [12:52] Why would I? Tara: [12:53] Yeah. Dave: [12:53] There's a whole chunk of U.S. presidents, you know, like the facial hair era of U.S. presidents that I'm just not really quite sure of, except for like Lincoln, you know? Tara: [13:01] Yeah. Sarah: [13:02] Yeah. Like from Andrew Johnson to Woodrow Wilson, it's like, like, you could tell me a bunch of president names and I'd be like, yeah, that sounds right. Tara: [13:11] Yeah. Sarah: [13:11] Yeah. Dave: [13:12] Cool it. Is that a thermos company or a president? Yeah. Sarah: [13:14] Uh-huh. Tara: [13:15] There's a Pierce, right? Dave: [13:17] Right. Yeah. I think you could just lift him out of the presidency and nobody would notice. Sarah: [13:21] Mm-hmm. Sounds president-y. Tara: [13:23] I'm also glad we're talking about this in a week when crooked New York machine politics utterly failed or this would have been a lot more depressing. Dave: [13:31] Yeah. But just going back to Chester A. Arthur Offerman, I thought was the funnest portrayal because of the character that he is doing that was able to have the most fun because he is sort of like very Ron Swanson-esque in a lot of ways, but also a drunk and a heavy, a bully. Tara: [13:49] A dastard. Dave: [13:50] A dastard. He has my favorite line in the whole series, which is they're at some sort of, you know, a men's. Tara: [13:58] I think it's a burlesque house or something. Dave: [14:00] Yeah, yeah. And he is very drunk and Gato meets with him and he barely knows who he is. But he's his best friend. He's like that kind of drunk. And then two guys come in that want to take Gato away. Arthur's having none of it because he's his new best friend. Threatens these guys. And then to get the party going again. Tara: [14:22] Music fighting sausages. Dave: [14:27] You hear that bell and then two women just start going at it in the foreground it's great yes. Tara: [14:31] It's foxy boxing it's not burlesque. Sarah: [14:33] And then he takes their hats these like pink tins that he toes yeah and then there's like a lengthy scene in which they're bonding while arthur is like barfing his guts out and then uh after he's like yeah you know i'm glad i met you whatever i need the sausage guy puts both hats very firmly on his head and marches out of the men's and it's like oh my god yeah literally a hat on a hat but i will absolutely allow it. Tara: [14:58] Just one final question since sarah's home state came up would you sarah sometime like to make like president james garfield and die in monmouth new jersey. Sarah: [15:08] Sure okay great. Dave: [15:18] And this is the music that'll play you off this motor coil, Sarah, as you draw your last breath. Sarah: [15:25] It is in my will. Tara: [15:27] As a matter of fact. DMT is flooding your brain. Dave: [15:42] That was you dying, Sarah. All right. It is time for Ask EHG, which means we must spin the wheel of judgment to see who will be our judge this week. It's Tara. Tara will be our judge this week. Tara: [15:59] Oh, good. Because I'm prepared. Dave: [16:00] Oh, by the way, sorry. I had a question on Ask ESG, but let's answer it here. Tara: [16:04] Sure. Dave: [16:04] Why doesn't Picky handle this? It seems like this is Picky's job. Picky is a union member, and he is not allowed to touch this part of it. We cannot have him do double duty. We tried. We got in a lot of trouble. Chester A. Arthur came to our house and threatened to beat the shit out of us. Tara: [16:21] Yeah. Sarah: [16:21] Yeah, but what about the Purdue oven stuffer roaster? I feel like. Dave: [16:26] Too expensive. Sarah: [16:28] That choir is full of scabs. Dave: [16:31] Each time we play that, it costs us $200, Sarah. Tara: [16:34] All right. Everybody shut up. This week's question comes from Raphael, who asks, Is there an episode of a show that you love beyond any reasonable reason to love it? Something where no one else thinks it's great, but you think it's perfect. Had a few runners-up. Pokey Jones said, Living Single Season 2, Episode 2. I love this game. Cheryl Miller appears as Khadija's high school basketball rival, and the way she says Khadija, I assume it's like that based on how it's spelled, slays me. Queen Latifah gets a training montage and the one-on-one game is not filmed realistically, though the score probably is. Meanwhile, Sinclair has made online friends, air quotes, in 1994, also features Cress Williams as Khadija's boyfriend Scooter, and Latifah looks very cute in her athletic wear, I bet. Tara: [17:23] Tim underscore Mick said the original Roseanne finale. I know the dream part was a lot, but I enjoyed how it wrapped things up with Roseanne finally using the writing room she had wanted. Kenny Bloggans wrote, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, season one, episode 19. It had to be you. I work at a creative writing nonprofit and we used to do a one day workshop about sitcom writing. And this was the episode someone, not me, chose to use as the example of sitcom structure. Tara: [17:48] This is entirely Stockholm Syndrome, but after watching it dozens of times, sometimes more than once a week, planted the false impression that it was chock full of iconic punchlines like a dribble bib or someone has their rude hat tonight. And I guess they were for like 10 people who drove themselves mad running this program. But our winner is LT, who writes, I was a huge Lost fan back in the day. It was the first show I got into after high school. And while I obviously love all the well-known classic episodes, I also want justice for the Nicky and Paolo episode from season three expose. It is so, so stupid. And yes, it was a response to everyone hating the way they just randomly added two characters and shoved them into things. But it is really the best version of fun lost when it wasn't being taken too seriously. Random scenes from the past with Nicky and Paolo in them. A backstory featuring Billy Dee Williams. There's sort of a low-key heist or something. At the end, they get buried alive because that's what the island wants. Who doesn't want just general fun island vibes? At the time, I remember everyone hated the episode. Maybe things have changed since then, but I don't know. But I just love me some goofy lost LOL. Tara: [18:57] Several other people said, I agree. So mostly for all of those cosigns, I'm giving this one to LT. Dave: [19:06] Nice. All right. LT, go on Discord. DM me there. I need a mailing address if you want that sticker back. Tara: [19:13] They're coming. Dave: [19:13] They're coming. They're coming. We're just very busy. We're taping like 15 episodes a week right now. So my apologies. All right. Let's get into your questions for us this week. First one comes from Brinzi. Let's get back to y'all roots. What's the best sandwich? So we're going to take that for this question and for the whole question set this week. It's all food. We're answering all your food questions, people. So first one, Tara, what's the best sandwich? I think I know. Tara: [19:39] Please don't barf when you hear this because it's not what you think it's going to be. Dave: [19:44] Oh, wait. Okay. I have a second guess, but go ahead. Tara: [19:46] Egg salad with dill pickles. Dave: [19:48] Oh, that. Okay. That wasn't my guess. My guess was that disgusting cheese whiz thing you do. But I guess that's just toast. Tara: [19:54] I do cheese whiz on toast. Cheese whiz the spread, not the spray. But no, egg salad with dill pickle slices, which I am too lazy to make myself most of the time. But sometimes I treat myself. Other than that, grilled cheese, close second place, but it's more, it's about similar effort level. Sarah. Sarah: [20:12] With an honorable mention to a tuna melt, mozzarella, beefsteak tomato, and basil on a warm baguette with a little twist of black pepper. You don't need any sauce, just cheese and mater. Tara: [20:23] Nice. Sarah: [20:24] Dave? Dave: [20:24] Very close. I said the Caprese sandwich with the correct, slightly crusty, but a bit chewy bread. And I like a strong balsamic reduction on that, a.k.a. the Man from Uncle movie sandwich. which I think we talked about here or maybe it was a little sassy, but there's a sandwich that Henry Cavill eats at some point in there. And like, as soon as the movie ended, when we watched it, I went to H-E-B and got the ingredients to make myself one. I wanted it so much. Sarah: [20:50] So good. Dave: [20:51] Jovial Gent, what's a food you can't with anymore because it gave you severe food sickness. Sarah, you ate it and it made you sick. Now you just can't. Sarah: [21:01] Beef or anything cooked in the same place. And it continues to do that. I miss it. But oh, well. And dishonorable mention, too. I'm sorry to say egg salad. I missed that, too. But nope, can't do it. Tara: [21:14] I get it. It's a it's a tough one. Dave: [21:16] Well, I had the worst two day long ocean's worth of diarrhea about earlier this year, and I have no idea what caused it. And honestly, it wouldn't stop me from doing it again. If it was something I liked, it was like, oh, Dave, it's Dave is trying to us all. I'm like, fuck it. I don't care. I'm going to I'm going to test the water, see how it goes, as it were. kind of like Homer with that party sub that grows his own mushrooms eventually. I'm just like, it's going to happen. We're just going to work through it. Tara: [21:40] Like Dave, I forgive every food that has ever poisoned me. The worst case I have had to date, remember the time that I had to go to the urgent care because I had claws, hand claws. That was so weird. Sarah: [21:52] Deoxygenated or whatever. The CO claw. Tara: [21:53] Yes, that was from a cheeseburger and I certainly never stopped eating those and I never will. Dave: [21:59] But just very quickly, whatever chemical reaction happened to your body, it created your hands to claw up. Just imagine you're trying to do like a lobster claw kind of motion. and i was like well they're gonna like inject her with something or and then the doctor gave you a paper bag yep to breathe into like a 70s scene from a tv show about hyperventilating i had just. Tara: [22:19] Hyperventilated that was it. Dave: [22:20] I was like it. Tara: [22:21] Was so i was so sick i was like breathing and then holding. Dave: [22:23] In real time your hand like relax flower blooming it was so weird that. Sarah: [22:30] Happens if If you have too much caffeine, too, it happens to me at times. Yeah, it's some like CEO imbalance. I don't know. Dave: [22:38] I think that's, you know, that's just nature trying to keep you drinking coffee by like you have the mug and you just can't let go of it anymore. Tara: [22:45] Yeah. Sarah: [22:46] Yeah. Dave: [22:46] More, please. Somebody just comes and fills your mug up just randomly, even if you're in your house, because it looks like you want more. Tara: [22:52] Yeah. But anyway, that was the culprit. There was a Whole Foods burger that had like chunks of cheddar in it. And I think the reason was it was from our freezer and our freezer sucked. And so it hadn't like properly frozen when we put it in there. Dave: [23:04] Could be. All right, let's move on. Diatho, which pasta shape can just go fluck off? Sarah: [23:10] Excellent. Dave: [23:11] Shells. They hug each other too much and then they don't cook all the way through when you, when, when. Sarah: [23:16] That's a good one. So excellent point. Dave: [23:18] And you're like, shell shell. And you get the one that's like three together in the middle. It's like half raw. Yeah. They got to put, like, a flying buttress in the middle of the shell so they don't hug each other. Tara: [23:30] Give these shells a spine. Dave: [23:32] Yeah. Tara: [23:32] Yeah. I'm going to say angel hair, like, truly what's the point? If you want something in the category of, like, long skinnies, I'm going to say go fettuccine, which is at least flat and can hold some sauce. And I have in my notes, small shells, very underrated. I like shells. I just cook them longer. Sarah. Sarah: [23:50] Farfalle. They're too hard to stab. Tara: [23:52] Oh, yeah. Good one. Dave: [23:53] Is that the bow tie one? Tara: [23:55] Yep. Dave: [23:56] Jovial Jen is back. By the way, Jovial Jen has every other question this week. They ask a lot of food questions. So we're doing a checkerboard. Jovial Jen is back. Fuck, marry, kill, white chocolate. Dark chocolate, milk chocolate. Tara? Tara: [24:11] Oh, fuck white chocolate, marry milk chocolate, kill dark chocolate. The easiest question I've ever answered, Dave. Dave: [24:17] Okay. A couple of years ago, I probably would have had that answer, but as my, I don't know, mouth dies, dark chocolate doesn't bug me as much. Sarah: [24:26] As my mouth dies. Dave: [24:29] So I got to fuck dark chocolate, marry milk chocolate. Absolutely. I want milk chocolate in my life until I die. and then kill white chocolate. Tara: [24:38] Yeah, you hate white chocolate. Dave: [24:39] I don't hate white chocolate. I think maybe what happened is I loved it so much when I was a kid, I ate too much, and now my body has that reaction to it, which is like, you've eaten enough for your whole life. Stay away. Yeah. Sarah, what do you got here? Sarah: [24:52] Same as Tara. Fuck white, marry milk, kill dark. Dave: [24:56] All right. Well, we all agreed on marrying milk anyways. Hellcat 13. I'm currently sipping a mug of hot apple cider as dinner because I can't be bothered with food. What is your favorite, not a meal, meal, hashtag food podcast? Sarah: [25:12] Sarah, entire bowl of popcorn with garlic powder and dill seasoning. Dave: [25:17] Ooh, that sounds good. Tara: [25:19] Yeah, that's pretty good. Sarah: [25:20] It is good. Tara: [25:20] I've said this before and I'm going to plug them again, even though they're not sponsoring me, but they should. Bear Bell's protein bar is usually what I eat on an extra hot great taping day because it's too close to breakfast to make a salad or whatever. and too close to dinner to have anything big. Dave: [25:36] I don't know what the difference is between just having a snack for this answer that you go to a lot and having a meal, but I'm going to say wasa bread. If you're not familiar with wasa bread, it's this hard as cardboard, stiff as a plank of wood cracker from Sweden, I think. And I recently discovered a second form. Usually you buy the planks. Tara: [25:56] Yeah. Dave: [25:56] And I recently discovered a second form that is a circle and they're better. Tara: [26:01] They've really changed your life. Dave: [26:02] They have changed my life. And they have regular ones, which are just like sesame and sea salt. Fine. You know, you put some cottage cheese and some hot pickles on it. A little Tabasco, go to town. But they also have a cinnamon one, which is good for in the morning. So that's my answer. But I have to say, they have the worst packaging in the universe. If you want to commit to having to repackage your Wasa bread products, as soon as you open them for every single one of them, then you're in luck because there is no way of resealing these packages. is like i don't know whether they just have absolute zero humidity in scandinavia what is going on there you cannot open these and not then waste a ziploc bag putting them into something and it drives me nuts drives me nuts everything else on earth comes in a ziploc bag now why doesn't this get your act together was i don't care if it's tradition fucking smarten up got it jovial gent don't tell us breakfast for dinner thumbs up or thumbs down thumbs down and it tears this home apart i'd. Tara: [27:07] Like to file for, Yeah, boys. I've made you eggs for dinner lots of times. Give me a break. Dave: [27:13] Yeah, but eggs aren't purely for breakfast. Tara: [27:15] What? How are scrambled eggs not breakfast food? You are insane. Dave: [27:18] You put them in a tortilla and eat them? That's what I usually do. Tara: [27:20] Still breakfast. Sarah. Dave: [27:21] No, you turn them into tacos. Tara: [27:23] Sarah. Sarah: [27:23] Yeah, that's a breakfast taco. Dave: [27:25] Okay, but you just pick one out. Cereal you have for dinner. Tara: [27:29] Yeah, I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about you. Dave: [27:31] I'd like to file for divorce. Tara: [27:34] Sarah. Sarah: [27:35] Yeah, Dave is wrong. This is a ridiculous question. Brinner forever. Tara. Tara: [27:40] Yeah, two greasy thumbs way up. Dave's ass. Dave: [27:44] Wow. Tara: [27:45] Mm-hmm. Dave: [27:47] No, wait, is that both your thumbs, I hope? Tara: [27:49] That's right. Dave: [27:50] Okay, great. Tara: [27:51] No, one of mine and one of Sarah's. Dave: [27:52] No, no. Sarah: [27:55] Nope. Sarah's filing for divorce. Dave: [27:58] All right, Seth has our next question. Who's coming out on top in the serial mascot Thunderdome? Trix Rabbit, Toucan Sam, Lucky of Charms fame, or Snap Crackle Pop stacked together in a trench coat? So four people going into the Thunderdome. Tara, what do you think in here? Tara: [28:15] I think we don't know what the Trix rabbit could be capable of. And so I'm saying the Trix rabbit. Dave: [28:22] Really? Tara: [28:22] Yeah, the Trix rabbit is crazy. It goes crazy for Trix. Dave: [28:25] That's the Cocoa Puffs. Tara: [28:27] Oh, well. Dave: [28:28] Trix rabbit is the one who always gets caught, Tara. Tara: [28:30] Well, sticking on it anyway. Dave: [28:31] Sarah. Sarah: [28:32] No, I mean, I agree. The Trix rabbit has that PCP energy that comes from being clinically manic. But lucky is magical. So lucky. Dave: [28:42] Wrong. I had to read up on Leprechaun Powers, and they have a lot in folklore. You know, super strength, invisibility, all that kind of stuff. But Lucky doesn't use them in the commercials. He's just a guy that rides rainbows and near pots of gold. That's basically it. He's not actually a magic user, as far as we can tell, canonically. So that is tough for him. Sarah: [29:01] But he's not, not, as far as we know, canonically. Dave: [29:04] So I reject that. The Elves Crispy, you can just step on, and the Trix Rabbit always gets caught. So I'm giving this one to Toucan Sam. and his powerful giant beak that is the only weapon that anybody has in the thunderdome cereal wise rice krispies all the way jovial jet's back i saw a headline saying americans are going back to cheap simple beer what other food should americans go back to simple and cheap versions of. Sarah: [29:32] The grilled cheese did not require elevating. Not that I haven't eaten every single version of it, but American cheese, white bread. It's a classic for a reason. Dave. Dave: [29:41] Yogurt. Tara: [29:42] I also just said cheese generally, but I agree with you about grilled cheese. Dave: [29:47] Yogurt's too fussy now. Tara: [29:48] Keep fucking figs away from both yogurt and cheese, in my opinion. Dave: [29:51] You buy yogurt and it's got like 14 compartments and it's like insert slot A into slot B, mix this, turn that. Here's one from a European nation you'd never heard of. us the hot new yogurt no no just. Sarah: [30:03] Mix it with honey bunches of oats like god and grandpa buncy. Dave: [30:06] Intended yeah tara asks what fruit can most legitimately be called nature's candy i. Tara: [30:13] Feel like sarah should go first because she was the one who had to endure this as a child, mango and it's really not close dave i would say. Dave: [30:24] Pineapple plus eating it's a little adventure because it's so acidic. I think I've heard it described as pineapple. Eat it before it eats you, which is true. Sarah: [30:34] Wow. Dave: [30:35] Second place, fresh strawberries. Tara: [30:37] Fresh strawberries was mine. Sarah: [30:38] Yep. Good one. Dave: [30:40] Guess who's the next question it's from? Sarah: [30:42] Jovial Gent. Dave: [30:43] Jovial Gent. Add a new tradition to American Thanksgiving to make it more fun or memorable. Tara. Tara: [30:49] I think you should have to play celebrity after dinner or kick off the winter holiday season with a viewing of Catch Me If You Can. Dave. Dave: [30:59] The person who contributes least to the day's preparation has to pretend to fuck the turkey for everyone else to post on socials. Ah, Thanksgiving just got fun. A little dangerous too. I feel alive now. I feel alive! Sarah. Sarah: [31:16] Mine also involved celebrity. There is a game of celebrity the previous weekend and whoever loses gets to pick whether they want to cook or clean up. Tara: [31:25] Ah, I like that. Dave: [31:27] All right. Last question for us comes from Elsbeth. What are your favorite cheeses? That's not that much cheese. Sarah. Sarah: [31:35] There is no cheese that I don't like. My favorites are probably cheddar, but I like the real sharp stuff. I somehow married a guy who hates spicy food, oysters, and stinky cheese. I'm not sure how this is still going strong, but he does like other cheeses that I enjoy, like Camembert and Gouda. And for a real stinker, Irish Cashel Blue. Oh my God, it just smells like every cat peed everywhere. And it's the best thing on a cracker, in my opinion. Dave: [32:04] Jesus Christ. Just threw up in my mouth a bit. Tara: [32:07] Next time you come visit, you got to take you to the local. Dave: [32:10] Cat shelter? Oh. Tara: [32:11] No. They do cheese tastings, like wine tastings. It's like you go for a couple of hours. We went with my parents when they were here in the spring and you would love it. Dave: [32:21] You know what you do instead? You just ask to buy all the things and then you take it home and do it because it was so slow. Tara: [32:27] It did take a long time. Dave: [32:28] They give you this plate and it's got like all the cheeses at all the hours of the plate. And then you go and they pair each cheese with something, a drink or a cracker or whatever. Tara: [32:37] Yeah. Dave: [32:37] It took fucking forever. I'm just looking at these cheeses getting all hard. I'm like, Jesus Christ, I don't care to hear the backstory of the guy who grows Peppa dude peppers for 10 minutes. Just let me eat the fucking pepper. Please, I beseech you. Sarah: [32:52] Just to be clear, the cheeses were getting hard. Tara: [32:55] Yes. Yes. Sarah: [32:56] Because that could have been better punctuated verbally. That's all I'm saying. It's not that kind of podcast. Tara: [33:02] Well, I've just heard about turkey fucking, so maybe it is. Dave: [33:05] Yeah. What else are you going to do? Tara: [33:07] My answer is smoked Gouda and smoked sharp cheddar, which I've only been able to find once, I think, when we lived in New York, but it was a nice surprise. Sarah: [33:16] Very good. Tara: [33:17] Dave. Dave: [33:17] Yeah, I'm pretty basic. I don't like stinky cheeses, so I always go for the sharpest cheddar if I'm just eating cheese. I'm just the sad guy in the corner of the room with my block of cheese eating it as I watch TV. but if it's like a cooking cheese like I want to melt it in something that is smoked gouda, it's a good addition to most things that you would melt cheese in all right here comes your ask ask easg questions is something for you to answer listeners on our discord or you can email me your answer if you do if you do on discord david cole.fyi this question comes from me congratulations on your new deli now comes the task of naming all the sandwiches after tv characters what is your signature sandwich called and what's in it enough i'm so sick and tired of hearing Dave: [34:04] you people talk about food food food it is time for the tiny canon presenting today is tara hello. Tara: [34:12] First off this is the tiny canon formerly known as list joke since we inaugurated it with the news radio bit about the distinctions among various near synonyms for pretty i have heard comedy writers refer to this kind of moment where the sheer volume of jokes is itself part of the joke as a joke bag. So that's what we're going to be calling it as well from now on. Among a few other things, Brooklyn Nine-Nine is about a cocky police detective named Jake Peralta, Andy Samberg, and the colleague who hero worships him, fellow detective Charles Boyle, played by Joe LaTrulio. Most of the time, the character's relationship is fixed. Jake makes confident pronouncements and moves, and Charles affirms him. Then comes season two, episode 11, titled Stakeout. Jake and Charles are assigned to stake out a suspected drop house, requiring them to hole up across the street in a condemned hotel. Before they go, Terry, played by Terry Crews, tries to give them some advice about keeping sane in close quarters, like taking break from each other's company in separate corners, which he calls alone zones when he's referring to his twin daughters, Cagney and Lacey. Charles and Jake agree that great friends like they are won't need any escapes, nor will eight days be too long for them to go without being relieved by another team. They are wrong. It only takes until day two for the first crack to form. Clip one. Tara: [35:34] Hey, this is a kind of weird request, but would you maybe mind, We're not fighting. We're great. Eat your butter syrup. Yeah, keep that shoehole open. The alone zones close call leads Jake to suggest they make a list of behaviors each would like the other not to engage in to avoid further conflict. At first, the list is modest. Clip two. So here's what I've got for you. No eating with your mouth open. We knew that. No Rastaman, kegels. Can I do my kegels secretly? Watch this. You'll never know I'm doing them. Makes a face. I can definitely tell. Sarah: [36:54] All right. Give me my no-nos. Okay. No butter syrup. No talking about Die Hard. Okay. Tara: [37:11] No eating mayonnaise straight from the jar, no using my toothbrush. And that's it! However, once the list has been established, neither detective can stop adding to it. The montage kicks off with Charles, who was shot in the butt in season one, vigorously rubbing it, clip three. What is happening? I got to do this, or the bolt holes. Sarah: [37:31] In my butt stiffen up. No talking about your butt holes. Two. Tara: [38:09] No park, no running man, movie, or the dance. No unrequested lullaby. No lady-style towels. In the episode, the guys' relationship devolves so much that they each write no talking on each other's no-no lists. But by that time, the wall they've written their lists on is absolutely covered with no-nos that don't make it into dialogue yet are visible. Did a contributor at Fandom.com add all of them to the subpage for this episode? Of course they did. So here are some Jake Nonos we don't hear about in the episode. No dandruff blizzard, no parkour, no cheese powder fingers, no peanut butter on binoculars, no using jerky as a toothbrush, no feet on my memory pillow, no asking if things look infected, exclamation mark, no basketball pregnancies. And for Charles, no eyelash wishes, no gasp while reading, no saying uni, no grief moans, no rhythmic gymnastics, no pig Latin, no talking about Ortolons, and no yellow king in all caps, which really situates the episode in time. Sarah: [39:13] Sure does. Tara: [39:14] There are many more. We'll link to this page in the show notes. But for creating an opportunity for a writer's room both to list as many annoying behaviors as they can, and probably passive-aggressively needle each other for doing at least some of them, this sequence deserves a place in the tiny joke bag canon. Thank you. Sarah: [39:32] I will go first. This made me seize up laughing, starting at Boyle's male Kegel's face, and then it was just literally zap-roodering through. I watched it through once, and then I just had to zap-rooder through to read all the editions, and some of them seemed directed at me no what was it the orderlands one i was just like oh yeah no saying uni i was like oh god i am so boil how have i been allowed to live you. Tara: [40:05] Probably do lady towels too. Sarah: [40:06] I know put me out in an ice floe But this just reminded me that this show needs to go back up the list and that I have to watch it with my husband. He will seize up laughing also. The two of them together are really just so gifted. And the editing of this sequence, the way it's montage and starts picking up speed as the days go by is very funny. This is, I mean, a joke bag can feel a little cheap, but it's also so fun to sort of see from a meta standpoint, like what a given show will stuff in there and hope that you dig through the whole thing to find it. So this was a delight. Excellent presentation. And I'm laughing again at the ooping and him just like absolutely train wrecking in the corner of the room. I'm getting better. Yeah, you are. I love their relationship and this is a great show. Good submission. Dave. Dave: [41:07] The right amount of meanness for me, you know, it's got Parks and Rec vibes, which I always found was too cloying. And this one sharpens the edges, which I like. I will give a shout out to the editors because this only comes through because of the way they edit it. Like they could have been shooting that for two days and somebody has to go in and condense it down to 45 seconds or whatever. So that was really well done. And the thing about joke bag comedy is this don't try enough or you try too hard. It's got to be natural feeling when it's there. And I think they capture that, that these are two sort of best friend buddies, but also they've never spent this much time together and everybody has their limits. And it comes across in this. The writing on the wall and the writing directly on the wall of this band and stakeout apartment approaches all beer and no play McComb or something, something from the Simpsons Treehouse of Terror. Tara: [42:04] No beer and no TV. Dave: [42:05] In the shining, the shinning episode. You have to pay attention to detail with these things. For some reason, the thing that made me laugh the most on whatever watch this is, the fourth watch of this in my life, was the name of the cereal that kicks all this off with Boyle's open mouth chewing. His Nork Fluskers. Crack me up. Tara: [42:25] Yeah. Sarah: [42:25] There's like an umlaut over every letter, even the consonants on the box. Dave: [42:29] Well, the O's got the slash and then the U has an umlaut over it. So they were sharing the wealth there. Tara: [42:34] And on Fandom.com, they make sure to note neither of those is a letter that's used in Swedish, but who cares? Dave: [42:41] It's very Monty Python. Those who have been responsible for sacking have, in fact, been sacked. Tara: [42:46] Totally. Dave: [42:46] So I'm going to definitely say yes to this one. Definitely a funny little bit of business. Sarah D. Bunting, what say you? Sarah: [42:52] I say yay. Dave: [42:53] All right. So the no-no list from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. You are hereby inducted into the extra hot, great, tiny joke bag canon. Cuckoo! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, Dave: [43:11] Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, love a winner. Yup. And will not tolerate a loser. Nope. It is time to discover the not-quite-winners and the not-quite-losers of the week. And we'll go first with the not-quite-winner Bewitched, apparently getting a uh-oh, quote, reimagining at Fox. And I was like, fine, whatever, don't care, never cared about the original description. Don't care about the remake. Didn't care about the movie that Will Ferrell was in. And then it said an hour long TV show. I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ. They're going to turn this into Charmed or something like that. It's going to be some terrible, grim, dark reimagining or something. So I just. Sarah: [43:49] The witches of East End. Bring it back. Dave: [43:51] Yeah. So I'm going to say no thank you to this already. And my not quite loser of the week is Down Cemetery Road viewers, which is a show we watched recently. I know you're like, yeah, we talked about it. I cut it out. McHeron follow-up to Slow Horses with Emma Thompson... perfectly cromulent mystery show and enjoying it but when you go on apple tv to start off the first episode what is the first thing they show you coming up this season on down cemetery road what what you're giving me scenes or even start the fucking show for the whole season those are bad enough after the first episode or whatever i hate those yeah but before you even start the goddamn show you're giving me scenes for the whole season wow yeah which are going to spoil the whole part Like, I was going into this blind. I appreciate going into it blind when I can manage it. And you were going to ruin it for me? Tara was, like, climbing over dogs and pillows to get to the remote. Slamming it to skip it before we could actually watch enough of it to be spoiled. Damn. Tara: [44:54] Don't sell it to me. I'm already here. Like, put that in front of fucking some other bullshit. Dave: [45:00] Put it in front of slow horses or something. Yeah. Anyways, that was real dumb. Sarah: [45:05] Sigh. Dave: [45:06] All right, Sarah, what do you got? Sarah: [45:07] My winner is Homeland's Gideon Raff, who is going to showrun and executive produce Apple's new international espionage series, Safe Houses. You know, Homeland had some structural issues and some should have ended after the first season or then after the third season and should have stopped killing off that one character and then bringing him back with increasingly fewer limbs problems. But I don't think those were on Gideon Raff and I'm interested to see. I think the tradecraft parts of it were pretty good. Granted, that show started at a different time and we knew less about this stuff, but I'm still interested to see. And I think Apple actually does pretty well with this kind of show. Less boring and more action-y, so we'll see. The loser is true detective or true detective fans, I guess. When Woody Harrelson definitively rules out a reunion with Matthew McConaughey and in the piece, they're like, well you know the showrunner and mcconaughey both said that they would do it and they're sure woody would do it and woody is asked about this and it's like nah because i guess he's having too much fun in those commercials where mcconaughey is like just getting getting shanked by life because he used ai incorrectly unclear but that reunion is not happening i think that's for the best but was kind of not great for harrelson to be like well no one asked me about this actually And no, I don't know, maybe just kick it down the road. Tara: [46:34] Well, they have another show together coming on Apple, I think. So it's not like we'll never see them again, but not as those characters. Sarah: [46:41] True Detective, I think the most recent refresh or different set of characters worked pretty well. I was not 100 on Jodie Foster, but she and Callie Rice were awesome. I thought it was good. I don't think we need to go back to that. And sometimes you can't recapture that kind of thing. So Tara, what you got? Tara: [47:02] My not quite winner of the week is Jonathan Bailey, star of Bridgerton and Fellow Travelers. He is people's latest, sexiest man alive. And they're not always right about this, Blake Shelton, but they were right this time. He is super hot. One of the photos in the spread is him like just sucking on a popsicle. And I don't know what else I can say. It's like, yeah, this is how you serve your audience. Sarah: [47:27] Absolutely. A hundred percent. Tara: [47:29] My not quite loser of the week is David Harbour. He is not only being read for filth in his ex-wife Lily Allen's new album, which is basically just like writing out her grievances and setting them to music. Like it is so straight up. This is everything I'm mad about in kind of an amazing way. But anyway, that's only one thing that's bad that's happening to him. Also, he's reportedly the object of a harassment and bullying claim filed by his Stranger Things co-star Millie Bobby Brown. Not great. She is real young and he is not. Like, I think she's 21. She's, you know, quite a bit younger than him. Should not have to put up with this at work. And as a result, he is noticeably absent from the press tour for Stranger Things, which is coming back for its final season later this month, I believe. So way to fuck up your life, idiot. Dave: [48:18] More like unsafe harbor. Tara: [48:19] Thank you. Dave: [48:20] Thanks. Well, speaking about straight up everything I'm mad about, do you know what time it is? Tara: [48:24] Is it possibly game time? Dave: [48:25] It is surprise game time. Tara: [48:27] Whoa. Sarah: [48:28] Ow. Dave: [48:39] Do not adjust your podcast set. This is extra credit, but it is also a gain time. But before I get into it, Tara has an announcement for everybody listening. Tara: [48:49] Yes, I would. I would like to tell. Dave: [48:51] I just want you to let me know there's Irish music playing behind all this. Tara: [48:54] Oh, good. Okay. Yes, I do. Dear everyone, consider me told as regards the locations of Derry and Belfast. I promise I will never shirk geographical fact-checking again. Thank you. Dave: [49:07] All right. In honor of the loosey-goosey retelling of Garfield's assassination in Death by Lightning, which was our main topic this week, we are going to play a sweaty U.S. President's TV mashup game called Sweaty TV Presidents. Tara: [49:22] Excellent. Dave: [49:23] I will read you a description or reading or something, and you have to provide the presidential name TV show mashup that is a result of that union. There is no single format here. It could be a rhyming substitution. It could be some sort of before and after. It could be a super sweaty, multiple crammed dog breakfast of an answer. You're just going to have to think about it and figure it out. I will be generous with the dings here, but I may insist we workshop it to get to the sweaty canonical answer. I will allow both Tara and Sarah to refer to a list of presidents. I put a link in the show notes. Tara: [49:57] Thank you. Dave: [49:58] The questions will be presented in chronological order by president, but not all presidents are represented in the game. So here's one I did. It's off model. That's why I'm going to use it as the example. Instead of a show title, it's something famous from a show mixed with a president's name, not a TV title itself, just to warm you up. Are you ready? Tara: [50:18] Yes. Dave: [50:19] I always wanted to do that. I'm going to go play Frolf. Frolf. Frisbee golf, Jerry. Golf with a frisbee. It's going to be my time. Time to taste the fruits and let the juices drip down my chin. I cannot tell a lie. I proclaim this. Tara: [50:35] The summer of George Washington. Dave: [50:37] The summer of George Washington, yes. The rest will be TV shows mashed in, but that is the gist of the game. Okay. Let's throw it in the picky to see who is going first. We will start with Sarah. All right. So our order is Sarah. Then, of course, Tara. Loser must buy the winner. Something presidential under $25. Tara: [51:00] Oh. Sarah: [51:00] Okay. Dave: [51:01] We've got 24 questions. Right or wrong. No hints. One point per. Are we ready to play Sweaty TV President? Tara: [51:12] Ready as Nixon. Dave: [51:13] All right. All right, here we go. Question number one, keep in mind that Washington is off the board. We are working chronologically from him. Here we go. His house is now a museum, the second to safeguard our freedom. His son was on the same team, the... Sarah: [51:32] The John Adams family? Dave: [51:34] You are correct, the Dodd Adams family. Tara. Tara: [51:38] Yes. Dave: [51:39] That's what the Bill of Rights is for. Tara: [51:44] Uh, James Madison Men. Dave: [51:46] James Madison Men is correct. Sarah D. Bunting. Sarah: [51:51] Mm-hmm. Dave: [52:08] President of Medicine. All right. What is that President Show mashup? Sarah: [52:17] I, oh my God. I'm so close to getting the show, but I don't recognize the theme. So I don't think it's James Monroe Jack, but it did sound like Telly Savalas. I will guess James Monroe Jack. Dave: [52:35] It is not. Tara, do you know this one? Not stealing points. Tara: [52:38] But this is John Quincy M.E. Adams. Dave: [52:41] John Quincy M.E. Sarah: [52:43] Adams is correct. Gotcha. Dave: [52:47] All right, back to Tara. Tara: [52:48] Yes. Dave: [52:48] Our only cartoon barbarian president died of pneumonia after 30 days and is survived by First Lady Cheryl Hines. Tara: [53:01] Can you read that again, please? Dave: [53:03] Our only cartoon barbarian president died of pneumonia after 30 days and is survived by First Lady Cheryl Hines. Tara: [53:14] Well, it's William Henry Harrison. Larry William Henry Harrison. I don't know. I can't get there. Dave: [53:25] Any idea here, Sarah? Sarah: [53:28] No. Oh, William Henry. Yeah, no. Dave: [53:32] William Henry Harris, son of Zorn. Tara: [53:35] Oh, son of Zorn. Of course. Dave: [53:39] All right, back to Sarah. The first vice president to succeed to the presidency after the death of William Henry Harrison of Zorn, he later built his own production studio in Atlanta and slapped his name to the start of dozens of TV shows. Take your pick. Sarah: [53:58] Okay i would love to take my pick. Dave: [54:02] Big clues as to which president is there of course well. Sarah: [54:07] Yes john tyler the creator. Dave: [54:09] No okay. Tara: [54:13] John tyler perry's the oval oh right. Dave: [54:16] Yes john tyler perry's insert any one of 12 to 24 shows here all right back to tara yep he not only manifests destined his way to adding Texas and Oregon to the union, he was also America's first gay president. Tara: [54:35] Oh, God, okay, it's Polk, I think, but who's. Dave: [54:43] How does he not only manifest destined his way to adding Texas and Oregon to the union, he was also America's first gay president. Tara: [54:54] I don't know which gay person you're talking about, but I'm pretty sure the president is pulled. I don't know. Dave: [55:00] Any idea here, Sarah? Sarah: [55:02] No. Dave: [55:02] It's queer as Polk. Tara: [55:04] Oh, God. Dave: [55:07] Yes. He delayed the onset of the Civil War for years with his support of the Compromise of 1850. But what he would not compromise on was the use of cell phones in his charming town's diner. Sarah: [55:26] James Luke Cannon? Luke Cannon. Dave: [55:29] Incorrect. Tara? Don't forget it's a show. It's not a character. Sarah: [55:34] Oh, fuck. Can I answer again? Dave: [55:36] Sure. Go ahead. Sarah: [55:37] Millard Fillmore Girls? Dave: [55:38] Millard Fillmore Girls is correct. We'll give you that point. Nicely done. Tara? Tara: [55:43] Yep. Dave: [55:43] He's one of our worst presidents who had his thumb up his ass leading into the Civil War. So it's not a surprise he was briefly replaced by William Conrad. Tara: [55:53] Oh. Briefly replaced by William Conrad. Ugh, ugh, ugh. I don't know which of these it is. It's Pierce or Buchanan. I don't know what William Conrad has to do with either of those names, sorry. I don't know. Starring. Sarah: [56:21] William Conrad With guest stars Tom Skerritt Vincent Van Patten. Tara: [56:30] Tonight's episode The Salinas Jackpot Amazing. Dave: [56:38] Now it was accepted just James Buchanan Or perhaps James Buchanan-Cannon. Tara: [56:43] Yeah Your choice I was stuck on Jake and the Fat Man I couldn't get there Buchanan. Dave: [56:48] Exactly. Alright, Sarah. People love the way Angie says this president's name. People love the way Angie says this president's name. Sarah: [56:59] Angie? Dave: [57:00] Angie? Sarah: [57:02] Yeah, I don't know. Actually. Tara: [57:05] We're getting each other's questions, I think. Sarah: [57:07] Yeah, I think so. Tara: [57:08] Abraham Lincoln. Dave: [57:10] Abraham Lincoln is correct. He led the Union Army in the Civil War before settling down in East Anglia to investigate murders as a vicar. Sarah: [57:22] We are getting each other's questions. Fuck. Dave: [57:25] I just did it both chronological. I couldn't play favorites. Tara: [57:29] Okay, okay. Ulysses Simpson Grantchester. Sarah: [57:32] There he is. Dave: [57:33] Ulysses S. Grantchester is correct. Yes. Nicely done. Sarity Bunting. He is best known for ending reconstruction in the South while trying to reconstruct a Seattle Grace patient after an unexploded mortar shell was stuck in his chest. Sarah: [57:51] Rutherford B. Hayes Anatomy? Dave: [57:53] Rutherford B. Hayes Anatomy is correct for one point. Nicely done. Tara, music, fighting, sausages, weeknight gridiron. Tara: [58:13] Chester A. Our Thursday Night Football? Dave: [58:16] You are correct, yes! Chester ate our Thursday night football. All right, we're about halfway done. Let's hit scores, please. Tara: [58:25] We are all tied up with three boards each. Dave: [58:27] Nice! Excellent. All right, fantastic. Back to Sarah. This furry blue commander-in-chief presided over the dedication of the Statue of Liberty and its defense from the Slea Stacks. Sarah: [58:41] Is this New Jersey's own Grover Cleave Land of the Lost? Dave: [58:46] You are correct for a point. Grover Cleave Land of the Lost. All right, this one's super thirsty, Tara. I'm glad you got it because there's zero chance Sarah would. Tara: [58:56] Okay. Dave: [58:57] This macho president is known for his sayings such as, speak softly and carry a big stick, and turns out it was man. not a tv show per se right in our universe but scary theodore roosevelt, the oh scary doors of belt okay all right sarity bunting who's the big president that's the eating machine to all the chicks taft that's goddamn right or william howard shaft your choice, yes he helped create the league of nations so no one was going to tell him it wasn't cool to ride up to it on his chopper wearing his leather jacket. Tara: [59:52] Um, okay. It's... Oh, no. Dave: [1:00:00] He helped create the League of Nations, so no one was going to tell him it wasn't cool to ride up to it on his chopper, wearing his leather jacket. Tara: [1:00:08] Woodrow Wilsonzi? Dave: [1:00:12] Incorrect. Tara: [1:00:13] Okay. Dave: [1:00:13] Sarah, you know this one? Sarah: [1:00:15] Woodrow Wilsonzi? Sons of Anarchy? Yes. Dave: [1:00:17] That's what we wanted. Tara: [1:00:19] Okay, right. Bonzi's not a show. Dave: [1:00:21] Sarah D. Bunting. His presidency lived under the shadow of the Teapot Dome scandal before a judge nicknamed Hardcase sentenced him to fight crime under the roof of the prototype sports car, the Coyote X. Sarah: [1:00:35] Prototype sports car. Yeah, I don't. I mean, I know this is Harding, but I don't know what. I don't know. Winds of War and G. Harding. I don't know the answer. Dave: [1:00:51] Any idea here, Ty? Tara: [1:00:52] No, none. Dave: [1:00:53] This is Warren G. Harding Castle and McCormick. Tara: [1:00:57] Oh, okay. Sarah: [1:00:57] Oh, sure. Okay. Didn't know that show. Dave: [1:01:01] Yeah, I had no idea it was basically proto-Knight Rider, but it is. Sarah: [1:01:05] Tara? Tara: [1:01:06] Yeah. Sarah: [1:01:06] Good intel. Dave: [1:01:07] The problem of Great Depression shantytowns was solved by putting all the unhoused Americans in his oddly spacious blue police box. Tara: [1:01:17] Herbert Clark Dr. Hoover. Dave: [1:01:20] You are correct. Correct. Herbert Dr. Hoover. Sarah: [1:01:24] You're a sick man, Dave Cole. Dave: [1:01:26] Sarah D. Bunting. Go, go, opponent of the military industrial complex. Sarah: [1:01:38] Opponent of the military industrial complex. Yeah, I don't know which president this is, and I don't know which, oh, this is either. Dave: [1:01:48] Well, it's going to be tough. Sarah: [1:01:52] I mean, unless it's Harry S. True Man from U.N.C.L., but I don't think that's right. Tara: [1:01:56] No, it's Eisenhower, isn't it? But I don't know what the show is. Dave: [1:01:59] Dwight D. Eisenhower Rangers. Sarah: [1:02:03] Oh, God. Okay, got it. Dave: [1:02:07] All right. Sarah: [1:02:07] Oh, boy. Dave: [1:02:09] You can't blame this president for being wary about the people in his new building after what happened to his boss in Dallas. Tara: [1:02:18] Being weird in his building. Dave: [1:02:21] No, for being wary about the people in his building. Tara: [1:02:24] Oh, okay. Dave: [1:02:25] You can't blame this president for being wary about the people in his new building after what happened to his boss in Dallas. Tara: [1:02:32] Okay, well, it's Johnson. I don't know who else is wary about the people. I don't know the show. Dave: [1:02:40] And Eddie, here's Sarah. Sarah: [1:02:42] Kara Linden in the city, Baines Johnson. I know you. Dave: [1:02:47] Lynn, don't trust the bees. Sarah: [1:02:49] In apartment 23, Johnson. Dave: [1:02:56] Two left for each of you. Tara: [1:02:57] Okay. Dave: [1:02:58] Sarah D. Bunting. And I ought to know, I'm the president who fell down a lot. Sarah: [1:03:12] And I ought to know, I'm Frey Gerald R. Ford. Dave: [1:03:16] You are correct. Frey Gerald Ford. Tara: [1:03:19] Good job. Sarah: [1:03:20] Tar. Tara: [1:03:21] Mm-hmm. Dave: [1:03:22] He's the peanut farmer, but you already knew that. I guess this question was not well done. Tara: [1:03:30] Um. Dave: [1:03:31] He's the peanut farmer, but you already knew that. I guess this question was not well done. Tara: [1:03:40] Jimmy Agent Carter? I don't know. I don't know. Dave: [1:03:45] Idea here? Sarah: [1:03:47] Nope. Dave: [1:03:49] It's not well done. It's medium done. Jim Medium Carter. Sarah: [1:03:57] Oh, medium. I see. I'm happy about it. But I get it, yes. Dave: [1:04:02] Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. Dumb as he can be. Watch out for that WMD. Sarah: [1:04:10] George, George, George, H.W. Bush. Or do you want W or H.W.? Tara: [1:04:15] I think it's probably W. Sarah: [1:04:16] I think you want W. Tara: [1:04:17] Yeah. Sarah: [1:04:17] All right. George, George, George of the jungle, W. Bush. Dave: [1:04:22] All right. Last question is for Tara. Tara: [1:04:24] Yep. Dave: [1:04:25] Not only our first black president, but also our first Phoenix Foundation president. Tara: [1:04:31] I don't know who the Phoenix Foundation is. Dave: [1:04:34] Okay. What's the scores, please? Tara: [1:04:36] Oh, Sarah's won. I have no path to victory. Dave: [1:04:39] Okay. You have to say this answer in a particular way. Tara: [1:04:44] Okay. The Phoenix Foundation. I don't know what the show is. I still don't know. I don't know what the show is. Dave: [1:04:52] Any idea? Here's Sarah. That's Barack Obama-Gyver. Tara: [1:04:57] Oh, okay. Sarah: [1:05:00] I was like, Obama-Machin aliens? I don't know this. Dave: [1:05:04] That's Regulations. Get the scores. Tara: [1:05:05] Woo! I finished with five, Sarah, our Victress, with seven points. Dave: [1:05:10] All right, I got a tiebreaker, and it might take you a little while to figure it out. Tara: [1:05:14] Okay. Sarah: [1:05:15] Okay. Dave: [1:05:15] But here we go. First person to answer it gets a C-mail for future use in our regular program. Tara: [1:05:21] Okay. Sarah: [1:05:21] Great. Dave: [1:05:21] Our fifth and eighth presidents team up with the likes of Goldie Hawn and Ruth Buzzy to deliver rapid fire sketch comedy. Tara: [1:05:33] James Monroe win and Martin Van Buren's laugh-in. Dave: [1:05:36] You are correct. Yes. Sarah: [1:05:38] Well done. Dave: [1:05:39] Excellent. All right. But Sarah won the day. Tara: [1:05:45] Sarah. Sarah. Dave: [1:05:47] Sarah. Sarah: [1:05:49] Wow. Dave: [1:05:49] And that is it for another episode of Extra, Extra Hot Grade. We discovered why Garfield came by his hate of Monday's Honestly before answering your burning-ass ESG food questions. Like what's the best cheese, the best sandwich, and what fruit is nature's candy. We said yes to Tara's Brooklyn Nine-Nine No-No list, tiny joke bag cannon pitch. We celebrate those who were quite the best and worst of the week and wrap that all up with a surprise sweaty TV precedence game time. Next up, Jeff Drake visits for a look at the new Vince Gilligan show Pluribus. Remember. We're listening. I am David T. Cole and on behalf of Tara Ariano Subscribe. Tara: [1:06:35] To the Daily Theocrat. Dave: [1:06:36] And Sarah D. Bunting There. Sarah: [1:06:39] Will always be more Roscoe Conklings. Dave: [1:06:41] Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time right here on Extra Extra Hot Grid. Sarah: [1:06:56] I'm Chester goddamn Arthur, son of William Arthur. Tara: [1:07:01] Chief collector of the Port of New York, and next vice president of, are you cocksuckers? Dave: [1:07:11] Just looking at these cheeses getting all hard.