#67: Ass Kicked By Girl
Steven Soderbergh directed a movie about a hard-fighting secret agent, starring an actual UFC fighter. What, like we WEREN’T going to see Haywire? After discussing this momentous event, we address the season premieres of Archer and Justified, and then it’s on to a user’s Canon submission: Downton Abbey Season 1, Episode 3 (a.k.a. “Mr Pamuk!”). We name the week’s Winner and Loser, and then dig in for a real thinker of a Game Time.
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Episode Rundown
Trying to avoid spoilers? Here’s when we start talking about what.
- 0:00:00 – Intro
- 0:01:30 – Haywire
- 0:15:00 – Archer
- 0:20:30 – Justified
- 0:31:15 – The Canon: Downton Abbey‘s Series 1 Episode 3
- 0:52:30 – Winner and Loser of the Week
- 0:54:30 – Game Time: The Movie Centipede
- 1:27:45 – Outro
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Tags: archer, downton abbey, haywire, justified, katherine heigl, ryan murphy or see all tags
I’m excited about what they’re doing with Ava, although I’m like Joe and have always liked her. I felt like even last season when she had little to do, she existed in so many different worlds–she’s semi-involved with crime, she’s a Crowder, she’s a woman– that she had the benefit of being able to interact with a wide range of other characters (I really enjoyed any time she had with Helen because the writers were able to cram a lot in like a minute-long scene). It’s interesting to compare her with Winona who’s sort of become the Pierce of the show in the sense that all her storylines are through Raylan and she doesn’t really have meaningful relationships with any other characters.
Regarding this week’s Canon. Here’s my “Book from Se7en”-style notes breaking down the episode into 22 separate plot points (13 for Mary’s plot line, Four for Gwen’s, Three for Bates’, Two for Edith’s and Two points which exist only to foreshadow future events, not that you asked.)
http://i.imgur.com/5zPKA.jpg
Damn, that’s impressive. Nice submission, by the way!
OMG game time was brutal, even as a listener. Next time a game goes on that long, consider splitting it off into it’s own semi mini episode. Because…that was brutal.
Neil McDonough looks like a Thunderbird puppet. I will never be able to take him seriously because of that, especially as a villain. (See also: Desperate Housewives way past when it was good.)
Thunderbird puppet! Ha ha ha! You are so right.
You guys have no idea. Jordana Brewster is in town shooting that Dallas reboot, and she comes into where I work every once and awhile (as does Jesse Metcalfe). She is TINY in person. TINY.
The best non-actor performances usually come from kids or adolescents, I feel, because kids aren’t so self-conscious and the awkwardness seems natural to see in adolescent characters.
I always felt the Simpsons “celebrities as themselves” thing went over the line in the Alec Baldwin/Kim Basinger episode.
That was only a few episodes after U2 though, so that works as well (though Trash of the Titans at least had Steve Martin playing a character).
I refuse to accept this proposal, because both of those episodes are awesome.
Ron Howard, as himself: Homer! We’re out of vodka.
Agree that it’s a classic episode.
We can’t even pay our bills, and they’re drinking Royal Crown Cola*
Please please please let me get what I want… which is a Wire submission for the canon. It pains me that Downton Abbey, as great as the show is, has a representative in The Canon and The Wire does not.
Submit one.
I have a question about that actually. Are we allowed to submit season or series finales? I feel that finales, especially in The Wire, are usually looked on favorably because they bring closure to most of the season’s developments. Judged individually, I’m not sure they would be inducted, for The Wire or any show. Also, since Joe hasn’t seen any of The Wire, I wouldn’t want to force him to watch everything all at once just to judge the one episode I submit. That might make him cranky and less likely to vote “yes,” though judging from the comment below, it seems that reaction may not be helped.
All this talk about how “The Wire” deserves pro forma Canon representation isn’t going to get me to vote for it any faster.
Joe, why do you hate Quality Television? WHO GOT TO YOU?
I’ve never wanted to shout out game time answers as much as I did this episode. I think it’s because I was so proud of myself if I got to the answer ahead of Tara or Joe. But I doubt everyone on my office would have wanted to hear me yell “apollo 13 going on 30 days of night at the museum!!!!”
Tara, have you seen Patton Oswalt when he gets to Twittering about Downton Abbey? That’s when I regret the most not watching it yet.
I now have proof that the old saw that “great minds think alike” is true, since Dave recorded his “Opens with a shot of dog arse” comment at the same time as Patton posted the same thing last night.*
*NOTE: Although it might not have happened at the EXACT same time, that’s how it’s going to go down in my novelization of the event.
I made the “the credits open with a dog butt!” comment to my mom two weeks ago. Can I be a great mind, too?
No, I unfollowed him.
Since Naomi Watts was in The Ring 2, shouldn’t that count? Doesn’t seem like it would have totally impacted the outcome, but still!
Yes I suppose it would. Just another reason to @hatethedrake!
If you want to be pedantic and maintain Game Time purity, “The Ring” is technically a two-word crossover between titles.
I know I should probably wait until I actually have an Extra Credit to use, but I can’t be the only one who now wants an Extra Credit Mini devoted to a “Your Show Might Be a Soap Opera If”-riff/list.
I like that.
Game Time was amazing, but:
Fred Astaire is not in High Society! For that title to work, it should’ve been Bing Crosby or Frank Sinatra.
Agreed! I was shouting that in my car.
I thought you guys might be interested to know that Gina Carano’s voice was “altered” for the final cut of Haywire. She claims that Steven Soderbergh altered and remixed her voice, but the rumor is that at least some of her lines were dubbed by Laura San Giacomo (yes, Kit De Luca!).
http://www.tmz.com/2012/01/12/gina-carano-voice-altered-haywire/#.TyAcPIFsiSo
http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/22440/Gina-Carano%E2%80%99s-fake-Haywire-voice
For Tommy Lee Jones/Tommy Lee Jones, I was gonna say “The Company Men in Black.” Can I have a point?
And for Orson Welles/Bruce Campbell/Robin Williams, I had “Touch of Evil Dead Again.” Robin Williams totally was in “Dead Again,” remember? He was the creepy ex-shrink working at the grocery. Okay, “Dead Poets Society” is a better answer but still.
God I love Dead Again.
Me too. Remember when Branagh had a sense of humor?
Only in theory.
This was my favourite, most interactive, brain-hurty game time ever. Had to visit with a friend mid-listen, and pretend to care about her problems whilst contemplating Gene Hackman’s entire oeuvre. Well done, hatethedrake.
I have to say I’m glad that Downton Abby was featured on the show. Despite my dislike of costume drama I had heard so much praise for Downton I was about to try to watch it. But after hearing the clips on the show I can safely say Downton is not the show for me. So a backhanded thanks!
Did we mention all the lasers?
I would not consider myself especially naive or sheltered. (I’m from Jersey, come ON.) But until you guys pointed it out, I had no idea what Mary and her Turkish lover had gotten up to. I AM SHOCKED!!! And DYING laughing!